25. Rituals To Mourn The Unborn with Patricia Danaher, M.A.

My guest is Patricia Danaher. Patricia is a writer, mythologist and ecopsychologist. She lived in Japan for several years, where she observed and studied the Japanese rituals and traditions around death, in particular the death of unborn babies. A long time practitioner of Zen meditation and ritual, Patricia has a Master's degree in Mythology, Ritual and Jungian studies from Pacifica Graduate Institute, where she was awarded the Joseph Campbell Scholarship.

Patricia has personally experienced the grief of miscarriage and failed IVF. Observing the absence of ways in western culture to memorialize babies who did not survive the pregnancy, she has created personalized rituals for individuals and families dealing with such heartbreak. 

The loss of an unborn infant is a deeply painful experience for families. Yet in most societies, there is very little space allowed to recognize the grief which is felt by those who lose a baby before birth. Very often the sympathy that people deserve at such a loss is not available to them. Not having “met” the baby, our friends and communities often do not know the real grief and trauma which lives on silently in the lives of those affected. Many churches will not permit burial of an unbaptized infant who perished, adding further pain and even shame to what the bereaved are already enduring.

Patricia has adapted and developed similar rituals for people in the West, to help release these “hungry ghosts” and their grieving families. Her rituals offer a chance to change this and to allow people to grieve this pain, mourn the loss of this potential life and create a shrine or memorial at home. Patricia accompanies those who are grieving and helps them to personalize the rituals of mourning, bearing witness to their pain and helping them to transform it through the power of ritual. She incorporates the Jizo figurine. Jizo presides over a world that few like to think about. He is the protector of children, especially those who die before their parents. They include mizuko, the souls of terminated, stillborn or miscarried babies.

Patricia Danaher email: [email protected]

Website: www.ritualsmourntheunborn.com