Trust But Verify: Lessons Learned after 9 Years in a Cult ft. Paul David Cooke - Ep. 97

In this episode of Recounting Life Lessons, we’re sitting down with Paul Cooke—a writer, academic, and former cult member who spent nine years in the Children of God, a group he later recognized as dangerously manipulative and deceptive. After a 40-year journey of reflection, healing, and writing, Paul recently completed a memoir about his experience and now shares his story to help others recognize how easily any of us can be misled under the right conditions.

This conversation isn’t just about cults—it’s about clarity, courage, and reclaiming trust in your own discernment. Whether it’s a relationship, belief system, organization, or opportunity that turns out to be something different than you thought, Paul’s story offers timeless, hard-won lessons that can help you avoid the emotional toll of misplaced trust.

 

IN THIS EPISODE:

• The subtle tactics that made a well-intentioned young man give up everything to join a cult
• How even smart, faith-driven people can get misled, and how to spot the red flags of deception and control to protect yourself
• The emotional toll of breaking free from a high-control group or relationship and how to start healing
• Why "trust but verify" is critical in making sound judgements
• What NOT to do when someone you love gets caught up in something destructive
• How manipulation works in everyday life (not just cults) and how to protect your confidence and clarity
• How real love, community, and grace helped Paul reclaim his freedom and confidence

 

A FEW GOLDEN NUGGETS;

1. Don't assume you're above being manipulated: Anyone can be vulnerable to deception and manipulation, especially during times of pain, transition, or isolation. Stay vigilant, ask questions, and seek trusted counsel before making major commitments.
2. Distance can create space for clarity: Sometimes the best thing you can do is step back. Time away from group ideologies, influence, or pressure can restore your confidence in your own resoning and values.
3. Manipulators isolate to control: Be mindful of any person or ideology that encourages you to cut off communication with trusted friends, family, or diverse viewpoints. Isolation often precedes control.

 

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Learn more about Paul, his memoir, devotionals, and stories at: www.pauldavidcooke.com

Read a chapter from Paul's memoir and learn more about how cults operate at: www.makingsenseofcults.com 

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