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Day 79 - "Free Money"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Release Date: 06/03/2020

Day 98 - Day 98 - "The End?"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Transcript: Day 98 The End? Sunday and the Alarma is over, Lockdown is unlocked, 99 days, it started on Saturday March 14th, but actually I consider that weekend to be the two phoney days of Lockdown.   Saturday 14th March was a pretty normal day, the supermarket rammed with people taking everything off the shelves, including the toilet paper, something that the Spanish do not a use a lot of, most prefer to wash in the bidet than smear on the pan, as it were.   Sunday was equally as busy as people rushed around to be in the right place before the strict measures and fines started on...

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Day 97 - Day 97 - "Of mousy women and men"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Full transcript: Day 97 Of mousy women and men Saturday the weather is calm, the sun is shining, I have been doing some extreme weeding on the mountainside and managed to not fall down, the one time I did I thought it was best to relax and just let my body slide to a bit where I could cling on.  Our garden in Essex did not have the same extreme challenges, unless you count the incredible numbers of snails that ate their way through most of our English garden.   I have been spending some time reflecting, yesterday about the reasons why we came to Spain, today a reflection of things...

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Day 96 - Day 96 - "Tim Tams"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Full transcript: Day 96 Tim Tams   Friday and the I made a terrible mistake today, I try very hard now to avoid the TV news from the UK, we have enough to occupy ourselves here with events in Spain.   I caught a picture of Headmaster Boris holding a packet of Tim Tams up, from what I understand following a new trade deal with Australia you will get tuppence off this less than delicious biscuit from Australia and the trade deal will end up adding only a gnats thingy to the UK GDP.   Worse I then wandered into the news that the New Zealand trade deal could well have a negative...

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Day 95 - Day 95 - "Bonfire Night"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Transcript: Day 95 Bonfire night   Thursday and now just a few days before everything un locks, the end of the Alarma and the new normal will start on Monday, many Spanish can go back to work and get the working week off to.. er, well er, a two day start, because next Wednesday “we are having a Fiesta”   The Fiesta of San Juan to be precise, the beginning of summer and those long summer holidays, after all we have all been working so hard these last few weeks … erm!   San Juan is when hordes of Spanish all head to the beach for a party, it will last all night and bonfires...

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Day 94 - Day 94 - "Assassination"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Transcript: Day 94 Assassination  Wednesday and the excitement cannot be contained, I am going shopping with Chris, well to be honest he doesn’t want me in the first shop, - Mercadona, he tells me he has a routine now and that doesn’t include me putting unsuitable items in the shopping trolley.   Never mind I am going to the Post Office instead, to pick up a parcel, the Post Office is only open between 8.30am and 2.30pm, the local office is tiny and usually packed, as many Spanish still come and pay their bills and do very complicated administrative things.   I arrived to...

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Day 93 - Day 93 - "Anyone for Tennis"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Transcript uncorrected: Day 93 Anyone for tennis?   Tuesday and we are battening down the hatches, the wind is returning again with a vengeance, so far, the summer here has not really happened. Today it is overcast and sticky humid.   Our Gym has opened, and we went last night, OK so it is not the normal evening busy, but there were people and Chris’ class was about half the normal number.  What was encouraging was the queue to join the Gym, at one point ten people deep, well social distanced.   There were a lot of arrows and nowhere to sit, most of the members were...

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Day 92 Day 92 "Dance Off"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Transcript (uncorrected) Day 92 Dance off   Monday has come, I usually dread Monday as it always brings administration stuff which I really don’t care for.   By the way if you want to catch all 92 episodes with transcripts of Spanish Practices head over to THE secret spain dot com.   Today the administration was our Spanish Tax return, I say our, as we are married it has been done jointly, I get the classification of Woman, the form does not seem to have a code for Partner.    The Spanish Tax year runs from January to December, unlike the UK tax year that runs April...

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Day 91 Day 91 "Playboy Kings"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Transcript (uncorrected) Day 91   Sunday and Uncle Pedro has been doing his weekly Zoom meeting, he likes to surprise the regional Governments, just to remind them all he is the one in charge.   So he has brought forward the date when Spain will open its borders to everyone except Portugal, so on Monday 22nd June the Lockdown will be over, for now and so will this Podcast, I still have the story to tell about one of the stupidest things I did some years ago. I will keep that for later in the week.   But you can’t have a Podcast about Spain without mentioning the Spanish Royal...

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Day 90 - Day 90 - "Holidays from Hell"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Transcript here: Day 90 holiday from hell Saturday your Sunday and the Spanish Government has started to talk about how they envisage foreign visitors coming to the country, the first lot will turn up on Monday, they are Germans coming to the Balearic Islands.   Interestingly about 35,000 people travelled to Spain in May, whilst not holidaymakers, they were mainly people returning back to Spain for work or back to their residency.   From all those who travelled, 104 people were detected to have Corona Virus.   But in a couple of weeks the onslaught will begin, instead of...

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Day 89 - Day 89 - "Fag End"

Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain

Full Transcript: Day 89 Fag End Friday and we are off to the Administrator to sell our old car to Carmen, what could possibly go wrong, find out later in this episode.   If you want to catch up on previous episodes and full transcripts, go to the   Today I have been thinking about Satan’s smoke. A great many people in Spain seem to smoke, I remember we had to pick up a parcel from a UPS pick up point that turned out to be a rather sad looking Travel Agents, I guess even sadder now we are in the Covid19 world.   It was a pain to get to, Chris had to negotiate the one-way...

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Day 79 and slowly things are returning, restaurants are opening and the Government is giving away free money and claiming nobody died of Covid19.. although the regional Governments dispute this.

Find out more: https://www.thesecretspain.com

Day 79 Free Money

Tuesday, and yesterday no deaths were reported due to the virus, but the regional Governments have disputed this. Our local hospital has only had a couple of cases last week and this week none.

 

The local beach has opened with a great many rules.  They believe that the beach will hold 19 thousand people.  Well even in the height of summer the local beach does not get that busy.

 

But the Spanish love to congregate together so now they are going to have to walk far from their favourite chiringuito bar to fulfil the rules of social distancing.

 

Speaking of social the local Socialist Mayor has been congratulating the Government on its plan for a minimum income for all citizens of Spain.  I am not sure how the money will be awarded, or on how they will means test people, but I was amused by the cultural response from at least one person replying to the Mayors Facebook Post, who said in Spanish, “This is a good thing because people deserve a little rest from work.”

 

Spain has a reputation for a land of feckless idlers who would rather be sitting in a shady bar than a busy office or building new relationships than new buildings.

 

Anecdotally I agree that the pace of life is slower here, appointments get moved or forgotten and you can wait an age for something that might take a few days to do in the UK.

 

But the Spanish we have come across work hard. None more so than our construction team, they were here every day from 8 in the morning to 6.30 at night.  Our work started last July in the blaze of the summer sun.

 

It is a very complicated thing to build on sides of mountains, the first thing that the construction company did was to launch a digger down the side of the mountain.  I say launch because the driver just tipped the machine over the edge than crawled with at a great angle with equally great skill down to the bottom by carving his own road out as he went.

 

At the bottom he turned around, somehow, and started digging great chunks out from the mountain, all day every day, for at least two weeks.  The dust, noise and general mess was almost unbearable.

Then Jesus the Grua would come with his crane and haul the earth into waiting lorries, some of which dumped their soil onto the lower part of the Estate, where we have created a new community entrance with planting, other lorries disappeared to who knows where to dump the spoil.

 

I do know that we had to pay a licence for removing the soil, the waste and so on.

 

Micro-piling was another very noisy operation.  A thing that looked like the screw from Thunderbirds drilled down into the ground seven metres and a great rod of metal was then hammered deep into the mountain and then filled with grout.

 

We had to have fourteen of these to form the foundation.  Then came the foundations themselves, cement lorries turned up in unison whilst the long elephant arm hung over our house pumping concrete into shuttered troughs.

 

It was a privilege to see it all so close at hand.  They all worked very hard indeed.

 

The columns that formed the terrace were attached to the piles and grew like spindles up the side of the mountain, they were shuttered and joined together then the whole lot filled with more concrete. 

 

It took almost the rest of the year to finish the job, everyday at least two people would be working, Juanee the tiler, then the bad tempered old electrician, the plumber who has put in by the drains something the Spanish rarely use and that is a U Bend.

 

I don’t really know why the u bend didn’t catch on in Spain, I mean the toilets have them, sometimes the bathroom will share one in the middle of the floor that will be covered in a little round tin top with a screw in the middle.

 

If you have ever stayed in a Spanish hotel that is often the thing that catches your foot in the night.  If you open them up, we had to once to discover what was causing a blockage, there are a larger version of the thing you find under a British sink. 

 

But frankly and I know this is the second Podcast in a row when I have mentioned plumbing, the Spanish plumbing is not as robust as its British counterpart.

 

They like to weld water pipes together with a weird press like thing, rather than use compression joints.  In the flats it led to disaster when after five years the Town Hall got around to fixing the water supply and as a result of the increased and much welcomed pressure, every singly pipe in one block of flats utility point split open and flooded the whole place.

 

Hot water tanks also come with a relief valve that hangs off the bottom end of the tank and either drips or sometimes will relief itself and empty the contents of the tank onto the floor or kitchen worktop, as the Spanish like to stick a hot water tank in the middle of the kitchen rather like we plonk a central heating boiler in a kitchen cupboard.

 

Off to the Administrators our Gestors, these are the ladies that look after our tax and Chris’ self-employment paperwork. An hour of administration work, lots of copies of bills and the like.  It is not easy to be self-employed in Spain.

 

 

I promise you that I will mention plumbing no more, but it is one of the cultural differences that you will notice if you come here to stay for any amount of time. Oh and ignore the old British saying of “If you must use any strange loos, put plenty of paper down first,” never do that as that will definitely block the Spanish pipes and come back to haunt you.