Spanish Practices - Real Life, Real Spain
Transcript: Day 98 The End? Sunday and the Alarma is over, Lockdown is unlocked, 99 days, it started on Saturday March 14th, but actually I consider that weekend to be the two phoney days of Lockdown. Saturday 14th March was a pretty normal day, the supermarket rammed with people taking everything off the shelves, including the toilet paper, something that the Spanish do not a use a lot of, most prefer to wash in the bidet than smear on the pan, as it were. Sunday was equally as busy as people rushed around to be in the right place before the strict measures and fines started on...
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Full transcript: Day 97 Of mousy women and men Saturday the weather is calm, the sun is shining, I have been doing some extreme weeding on the mountainside and managed to not fall down, the one time I did I thought it was best to relax and just let my body slide to a bit where I could cling on. Our garden in Essex did not have the same extreme challenges, unless you count the incredible numbers of snails that ate their way through most of our English garden. I have been spending some time reflecting, yesterday about the reasons why we came to Spain, today a reflection of things...
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Full transcript: Day 96 Tim Tams Friday and the I made a terrible mistake today, I try very hard now to avoid the TV news from the UK, we have enough to occupy ourselves here with events in Spain. I caught a picture of Headmaster Boris holding a packet of Tim Tams up, from what I understand following a new trade deal with Australia you will get tuppence off this less than delicious biscuit from Australia and the trade deal will end up adding only a gnats thingy to the UK GDP. Worse I then wandered into the news that the New Zealand trade deal could well have a negative...
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Transcript: Day 95 Bonfire night Thursday and now just a few days before everything un locks, the end of the Alarma and the new normal will start on Monday, many Spanish can go back to work and get the working week off to.. er, well er, a two day start, because next Wednesday “we are having a Fiesta” The Fiesta of San Juan to be precise, the beginning of summer and those long summer holidays, after all we have all been working so hard these last few weeks … erm! San Juan is when hordes of Spanish all head to the beach for a party, it will last all night and bonfires...
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Transcript: Day 94 Assassination Wednesday and the excitement cannot be contained, I am going shopping with Chris, well to be honest he doesn’t want me in the first shop, - Mercadona, he tells me he has a routine now and that doesn’t include me putting unsuitable items in the shopping trolley. Never mind I am going to the Post Office instead, to pick up a parcel, the Post Office is only open between 8.30am and 2.30pm, the local office is tiny and usually packed, as many Spanish still come and pay their bills and do very complicated administrative things. I arrived to...
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Transcript uncorrected: Day 93 Anyone for tennis? Tuesday and we are battening down the hatches, the wind is returning again with a vengeance, so far, the summer here has not really happened. Today it is overcast and sticky humid. Our Gym has opened, and we went last night, OK so it is not the normal evening busy, but there were people and Chris’ class was about half the normal number. What was encouraging was the queue to join the Gym, at one point ten people deep, well social distanced. There were a lot of arrows and nowhere to sit, most of the members were...
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Transcript (uncorrected) Day 92 Dance off Monday has come, I usually dread Monday as it always brings administration stuff which I really don’t care for. By the way if you want to catch all 92 episodes with transcripts of Spanish Practices head over to THE secret spain dot com. Today the administration was our Spanish Tax return, I say our, as we are married it has been done jointly, I get the classification of Woman, the form does not seem to have a code for Partner. The Spanish Tax year runs from January to December, unlike the UK tax year that runs April...
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Transcript (uncorrected) Day 91 Sunday and Uncle Pedro has been doing his weekly Zoom meeting, he likes to surprise the regional Governments, just to remind them all he is the one in charge. So he has brought forward the date when Spain will open its borders to everyone except Portugal, so on Monday 22nd June the Lockdown will be over, for now and so will this Podcast, I still have the story to tell about one of the stupidest things I did some years ago. I will keep that for later in the week. But you can’t have a Podcast about Spain without mentioning the Spanish Royal...
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Transcript here: Day 90 holiday from hell Saturday your Sunday and the Spanish Government has started to talk about how they envisage foreign visitors coming to the country, the first lot will turn up on Monday, they are Germans coming to the Balearic Islands. Interestingly about 35,000 people travelled to Spain in May, whilst not holidaymakers, they were mainly people returning back to Spain for work or back to their residency. From all those who travelled, 104 people were detected to have Corona Virus. But in a couple of weeks the onslaught will begin, instead of...
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Full Transcript: Day 89 Fag End Friday and we are off to the Administrator to sell our old car to Carmen, what could possibly go wrong, find out later in this episode. If you want to catch up on previous episodes and full transcripts, go to the Today I have been thinking about Satan’s smoke. A great many people in Spain seem to smoke, I remember we had to pick up a parcel from a UPS pick up point that turned out to be a rather sad looking Travel Agents, I guess even sadder now we are in the Covid19 world. It was a pain to get to, Chris had to negotiate the one-way...
info_outlineIt is Sunday and I have been driving our existing car for the first time, we are buying a new one tomorrow, as in Phase 3 we can go to a car showroom. Can I say that the gear box stick is in quite the wrong place and while we are at it, so is the steering wheel.
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Day 84 Car Share
Sunday the start of a new week, Monday brings us phase 3, we have jumped a week, the Alarma itself finishes June 21st, the central Government hands over its central control to the Juntas – the Regional Government. So only 14 more of these special Podcasts left and I am saving my best story to last, one clue, it was major misjudgement on my behalf that I will pay for the rest of my life.
First we should get a Royal Decree, a Bill that will detail everything that will happen after the Alarma, Lockdown ends, then that will be interpreted by the Regional Governments who in turn will make their own rules about the de-escalation of Lockdown.. complicated isn’t it.
And all the while the rules change and alter. Tomorrow we pick up a new car, not sure what the sales service will be like, guessing, a bit average by British standards.
There is a lot of paperwork to fill in, all written in complex Spanish, the stuff that doesn’t not translate with any proper meaning. Laura our Bank Manager is coming along to help Chris through the process.
Banks here are more, I guess old fashioned, you get a named Manager, she is principally employed as a salesperson, up selling insurance, TV sets sometimes, yes the Bank here will flog you a TV or a mobile phone.
We did a test run to discover where the dealer was located, a Google map put them about 300 metres away in a different road, that turned out to be a Mercedes dealer. Driving around what is known locally as Gasoline Alley, we found the dealer and we found our new car, sitting looking rather dustily in the disabled parking space.
Chris collects the car at 10am, so hopefully they might give it a clean and stick the matriculation plate on.
A few months ago, we looked at buying a new car from the local Fiat dealer, as we currently have a Fiat. We were with our dear friend Maria, she went up to the salesman who was on the way out to the back for a ciggy.
“This hombre is interested in buying a new car.” The salesman looked at her wearily, let out a long sigh and slumped himself back down into his chair and started jabbing at the computer screen.
“Marca?” Chris replied Fiat, 500, sports. “Mmm Desportes.” He said, his eyes narrowing, thinking here is an English with some money. The next thing he said was too quick for us to catch. Monica said, “He is asking if you need finance.” Chris told him we didn’t, we would pay cash, but trade in the old car.
Then came the Spanish moment, he said “But your car is only three years old, why do you want to buy a new one?”
To be fair he has a point, but it is not something you would ever hear come from the mouth of a British Salesman. He jabbed the keys of his computer some more and showed us an Abarth with an eye watering price.
“No no” said Chris “a sports trim Fiat 500 not an Abarth.” “But this is very nice car, go very fast.” I asked, “Are there any deals on at the moment?” Monica translated – the Salesman looked at us puzzled – so no deals then, if ever.
In an earlier Podcast I told about our friend who bought a very expensive Range Rover, in excess of 38 thousand Euros and the Salesman whispered in her ear after the sale, “I have left you a little present on the back seat, for being such a good customer.”
When she opened the rear door of the car, there laying forlornly was a single sachet of Turtle Wax polish.
So we found the Dealer and found the car, now it was my turn to drive our current car home, as I will need to do this tomorrow. I drove in the UK, often having to pick up Chris from the Railway Station or wherever the Railway Company was giving up running a service, which was usually a small village called Shenfield.
So I am a very average driver, but could get myself around our local town fairly well, hardly any scrapes or misjudgements.
But driving in Spain is a whole new ball game, and to save Chris screams and shouting, did you see that car, can you see the cyclist and so on and so on, I have refrained from driving.
So the first thing I notice about sitting in the driving seat of our current car is the gear stick is in quite the wrong place and while we are at it, so is the steering wheel. Chris also sits up very erect and he has the driving seat set to, upright, electric chair, which I find quite uncomfortable. I prefer the setting comfortable Lloyd Loom wickerchair, further back but not as far back as out friend who practically drives looking up at the roof of his car.
Driving off, and after driving small urban cars in the UK, if feels like I am driving one of those enormous American Jeeps. Chris points out that this is a Jeep but in Fiat clothing. So that would explain that.
Changing gear is problematic, one, I am not used to the gear box and two, force of habit makes my left arm move to change the gear, and in correcting myself I seem to swerve across the road, well that’s my excuse.
I just wish Chris would stop screaming, he is a very bad passenger, and there was nothing coming the other way, so I am not sure what his problem is?
The Fiat 500X is a very nice car if you have a family and need enough boot space to hold a baby elephant, but we have both found it too big for our needs, I shall be driving it very carefully tomorrow as it has a new home to go to, someone who actually does have a family for the family car.
I am sure everything will go smoothly tomorrow, we might be pleasantly surprised, I might find I will actually find fifth gear on the way back home, subscribe to the Podcast and find out tomorrow, if you go to the secret spain dot com you can find every episode and full transcripts too.