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126. Letting go of self hatred: the impact of an autism diagnosis

Release Date: 03/01/2025

157 [S11 E12] Talking to strangers: podcasting my way into a late autism discovery

The Squarepeg Podcast

Carolyn Kiel is the host of Beyond 6 Seconds, a multi-award-winning neurodiversity podcast. She started her podcast in 2018 as a general interest interview show, but in 2022 she shifted the focus to neurodiversity, after receiving an autism diagnosis in her mid-40s. Carolyn interviews neurodivergent people from around the world about their lives, identities and passions, with a focus on the intersections between neurodivergence and race, gender, sexual orientation, disability, and more. Carolyn has a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a Master of Arts in Industrial/Organisational Psychology....

156 [S11 E11] Coming home to myself: feeling 'good enough', unmasking and moving towards self love

The Squarepeg Podcast

Abs Lee is a carer, gardener and cleaner from Suffolk in the UK. Now 54, she was formally identified as autistic early in 2020, in the midst of the pandemic and lockdown. She's a parent to an AuDHD, queer adult human, and cares for her elderly mother. Abs has moved between multiple jobs throughout her life so far, full of potential but often finding it difficult to stay in roles due to sensory issues and lack of the right support. Now self employed, working part time due to health issues and caring responsibilities, she says that her life “has been shaped by persistence, lived experience and...

155 [S11 E10] Unravelling: masking, personality adaptation and meeting my real self

The Squarepeg Podcast

Toni Borneo was formally recognised as autistic two years ago, at age 42 - something that has saved and completely changed her life. For her, the process of unmasking uncovered complex, long term mental and emotional health issues. And more recently she realised that she has developmental trauma that has led to her having a personality disorder. Toni has spent her working life in health policy advocacy, first for a mental health charity, and now for a health trade union. She lives in Guildford in the UK, where she is currently discovering her unexplored creativity, building up her...

154 [S11 E9] Finding a really cool rock: figuring out life and work without an 'autistic starter pack'

The Squarepeg Podcast

Phoebe Taylor is a Canadian writer and artist whose work attempts to translate the experience of autism from the inside out. ‘Fired from every job she ever had’, she decided to explore self employment during the pandemic. Now 32, she was formally identified as autistic a couple of years ago, and has spent the last few years figuring out how to make a life that works better for her. Phoebe was a shortlisted finalist in the 2024 Grit List Festival for her essays on the interior experience of autism, and is currently writing about autism, feminism and disability and working on a collection of...

153 [S11 E8] Creativity, small joys and redefining success: navigating the long-term impact of autistic burnout

The Squarepeg Podcast

Phoenix* is 44 and from The Netherlands. She has a PhD in philosophy and worked in academia for several years, before experiencing a severe burnout in her early thirties. Phoenix started seriously considering that she might be autistic around two and a half years ago, after struggling for years with burnout, chronic fatigue and anxiety. She was formally recognised as autistic about a year ago, shortly after her young daughter. Since her burnout, Phoenix has rediscovered her creativity and has found connection with herself and others through creative writing, visual art and making clay...

152 [S11 E7] Sparkly things and heavy loads: autistic menopause, academia and lived experience

The Squarepeg Podcast

Dr Rachel Mosely was halfway through her second postdoctoral job in autism research when she learnt that she herself had been suspected as being autistic as a child. After some investigation, she was assessed and diagnosed at the Lorna Wing Centre, aged 28. Ten years on, Rachel is Principal academic in Psychology at Bournemouth University, where her research focuses on understanding the challenges faced by autistic people, primarily around mental health. She has a degree in Psychology and a PhD in cognitive neuroscience from Cambridge University. Together with colleagues she has conducted work...

151 [S11 E6] The same type of different: autistic identity, South Asian stories and the model minority myth

The Squarepeg Podcast

Mrinal Gokhale is an author, writer, and speaker based in Wisconsin in the United States, passionate about all things psychology and wellness. Since becoming an author, Mrinal has written for and collaborated with platforms to discuss South Asian and Asian American mental health. She has a Bachelor's degree in marketing from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Now 35, Mrinal is the author of two books, the latest of which, Taboo: South Asian Mental Health Stories, is a collection of lived experience accounts from people of South Asian descent about navigating mental illness,...

150 [S11 E5] A little candle burning: survival, healing, and the small nourishments of autistic life

The Squarepeg Podcast

Su Scotting is a poet, writer and artist, and retired National Trust archivist, from Cornwall in the UK. Now 63, she was formally recognised as autistic at 58. Su excelled at school, going on to get a BA in Medieval English Studies, and later an MA in Art. After years as an archivist she worked in government administration. But her education and career were impacted by sensory issues, overwhelm and autistic burnout. In her 40s Su was diagnosed first with depression and anxiety, then with cPTSD. When she eventually received her autism diagnosis at 58 (along with diagnoses of Sensory...

149 [S11 E4] Going away to come home: From outward success to an authentic autistic life

The Squarepeg Podcast

For years Emily Nyrop lived what looked on the outside like a ‘perfect’ life; after graduating from Harvard University, she spent over a decade in high-powered roles. But underneath her outward success she was quietly burning out, as she built a life and career inside systems that weren’t built for her. Then Emily hit breaking point. Feeling like she was falling apart, she decided to rip open her life and do something completely different. In 2023 she gave up her apartment in the US, packed a suitcase and booked a one-way ticket to Cape Town, for what turned into nearly a year of solo...

148 [S11 E3] Unexpected autism: art journalling, mental health and reframing eating distress

The Squarepeg Podcast

Helen Shaddock was formally identified as autistic two years ago, after spending over 25 years in the mental health system. During the pandemic Helen was readmitted to mental health services for eating disorders, before receiving an unexpected autism diagnosis. Now 39, Helen is a multidisciplinary artist and PhD researcher. She lives in Newcastle in the UK, where her work as a multidisciplinary artist focuses on themes related to her lived experience. In 2024 she launched artED, a digital space to share experiences and stories about eating distress, neurodivergence and mental...

More Episodes

Hannah Brockway is a violinist in her thirties from Australia; music has been her lifelong special interest. Since discovering her autism Hannah has realised that many of the people she’s gravitated towards in her life are neurodivergent too.

In this episode Hannah shares some of her experiences around chronic fatigue, anorexia and panic disorder, needing to take two assessments before finally getting her autism diagnosis, and some of the difficulties she’s faced as an autistic professional musician.

Squarepeg is a podcast in which I talk to other late identified autistic women and nonbinary people about their lives, their autism journeys, and what they’ve learned along the way.

I’m Amy Richards, and I was diagnosed autistic in 2016, when I was 37. I’ve been sharing my conversations with other autistic adults since 2020.

I hope you'll find these conversations inspiring and thought provoking, and that they’ll help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.

EPISODE LINKS:

Hannah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannah_unmasked/
Her book:
https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=VeAHEQAAQBAJ&fbclid
https://www.booktopia.com.au/a-cautionary-tale-hannah-brockway/book/9780648399919.html

If you'd like to connect with me, get in touch or follow Squarepeg, you can find me on:

Website: https://squarepeg.community/

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/

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