S7 Ep 3: The Case for Letting Go with Karen Slater
Release Date: 04/01/2024
S8 Ep 2: The Final Episode of the OurVoices Podcast
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
In this the final episode of the OurVoices Podcast, host Kristin Kalbli shares a little of the wisdom she's accumulated over the years of producing this podcast and over a decade of learning and healing from her own experience in a mixed-orientation marriage. This final episode her gift to you —the loyal and mighty audience — in gratitude for your support, your attention, and your time over the last eight—yes, eight—years. Stay in touch with Kristin: Her book page: The Mercy Fake (Facebook): https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61570310436738 Kristin’s Facebook:...
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S8 Ep 1: Kristin Finally Tells Her Story (with the Help of her Lesbian Bestie who Incidentally Never Married a Man)
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
In today's episode, Kristin obliges audience members who have wondered when she would finally tell her story. Her friend Angela Tonn, who had a front row seat to the demise of Kristin's marriage, joins her to turn the lens on Kristin and ask her the questions she normally asks other people on this show. If you'd like to know where to find Kristin, check out the links below: Friend her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kristin.kalbli Follow announcements about her book, The Mercy Fake: The Story of One Fake Marriage, Lots of Fake Orgasms, and the Search for What's Real:...
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S7 Ep 13: A Bisexual Husband's Disclosure and a Straight Wife's Decision to Stay with Irina Miller
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
Irina’s discovery of her husband’s sexuality started from accidentally finding a social media account in a locked folder on his phone. Not thinking much of it at first, she enquired him about it, and he burst into tears and said, “I think I am bisexual”. He then shared the account and the rest of his private folder – the contents of which clearly indicated he was attracted to men, as well as women. While feeling betrayed by his withholding such an important piece of information throughout their marriage, she was also impressed by his honesty in sharing his thoughts and emotions...
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S7 Ep 12: The Minwalla Model of Deceptive Sexuality and Trauma Treatment
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
Today's episode features a presentation of the Minwalla Model of Deceptive Sexuality and Complex Trauma Treatment. In 2006, Dr. Omar Minwalla began to study the signs of Complex Trauma related stress in people whose spouses had committed infidelity. Minwalla’s powerful educational metaphor, the “Secret Sexual Basement”, has made the personal, relational, and sociological abuses that comprise deceptive sexuality accessible to everyone. By putting the spotlight on the harms of “deceptive sexuality,” Minwalla shows how clinically significant deficits in integrity enable infidelity...
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S7 Ep 11: The Time to Pay It Forward is Now with David Harte
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
Not only was OurPath Volunteer David Harte surprised to learn his wife was a lesbian, he was surprised that her family already knew she was. “One of her friends told me [my wife] had come out in her early 20’s. That wasn’t accepted by her family at all, hence, when I met her, her family were very encouraging of us getting married and having a child. I didn’t realize they were trying to marry her off.” Ten years later, David has found purpose and healing in paying forward the invaluable support he received from OurPath while in the early days after disclosure.
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S7 Ep 10: The Apology You Needed but Never Got with Tom Jones
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
Tom Jones was married to a woman for 22 years and hid in a deep closet in denial. His wife was aware of his same sex attraction early on, but not the depth of it. A positive HIV status and an acute addition to crystal meth deeply impacted their marriage and lives, resulting in divorce. His wife was diagnosed with cancer and passed away just two years following their divorce, requiring Tom to raise their two daughters. Although close at the end of his wife’s life, Tom, now 68, feels they never had to opportunity to truly mend. In this episode, he shares how he believes his...
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S7 Ep 9: Behind the Scenes of Behind the Looking Glass with Filmmaker Vaishnavi Sundar
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
Filmmaker Vaishnavi Sundar discusses her recently released documentary: Behind the Looking Glass, which delves into the lives and experiences of women whose partners have, or want to, transition. With voices from women worldwide, this film is the first of its kind. Today’s conversation touches on pornography, coercive control, emotional, financial and sexual abuse that for some women, coincide with their husbands identifying as trans. Vaishnavi is a writer and a self-taught filmmaker from Chennai, India. Through her films, she advocates for the rights of women and girls worldwide. A...
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S7 Ep 8: The 6 Stages of Coming Out With Dr. Ben Schilaty
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
Dr. Ben Schilaty, a social work professor and therapist, explains the Six Stages of Coming Out (first observed by Dr. Vivienne Cass in the 1970's). We explore both the experiences of LGBT+ spouses progressing through these stages, along with the corresponding experiences of straight spouses at each stage. This conversation aims to shed light on the various behaviors straight spouses may observe from their LGBT+ partners, as well as give context to straight spouses' feelings and experiences as their partners work through the coming out process. Ben is the author of A Walk In My Shoes:...
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S7 Ep 7: A Detransitioned Man Shares His Motives for Becoming a Trans Woman so Wives Can Better Understand their Spouses
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
Ray Alex Williams used to go by the name Rachel. A former trans woman, today he refers to himself as a detransitioner. In this episode, he shares his perspective on his own transition process, including his true motivations for transitioning. Exploring a diversity of essential perspectives like Ray’s can provide wives whose husbands have come out as trans with honest and vital information about gender transition in their own marriages, so they are better able to make fully informed decisions for their own lives. X: @RayAlexWilliams YouTube:
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S7 Ep 6: Navigating Conflicting Feelings When a Straight Spouse has an LGBT+ Child
OurVoices with Kristin Kalbli
When Christine discovered her husband was gay after thirteen years of marriage, at first she felt relief that the disconnect between them had been explained. Anger and grief came much later. But when her oldest child came out as trans a few years later, she felt her grief first. Many straight spouses in mixed orientations marriages have LGBT+ children and face the challenge of reconciling conflicting feelings around those respective comings out. On today's show, our guest talks about the dissonance between her feelings when her spouse came out and when her child came out, and how she worked...
info_outlineKaren Slater had a lot to forgive her closeted husband for, not the least of which is the impact his sexual rejection had on her. It created profound insecurity about her body and sparked years of yo-yo dieting, trying to reignite their sex life, only to have her efforts fail and the cycle repeat. In this conversation, she shares all she had to forgive, why she chose to forgive it, and how she was able to, all while insisting what her husband did in his efforts to maintain his closet were not ok.
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