26. How Mothers Shape the World

How Mothers Shape the World

Both our married children recently had their first babies—two beautiful girls! As I’ve watched these new mothers learning to lead our precious granddaughters, it caused me to ponder the power of a mother’s leadership to shape our world.

In our society, we don't always think of parents as being equivalent to "leaders." Leaders, we believe, are heads of state, prime ministers, elected officials, CEOs of powerful corporations, media personalities, and others. Those people, we think, are the real movers and shakers of society.

Are they? In the organic cocoon of the family and home, character forms. And the character of each individual forms society. The person who makes decisions on war and peace in a political leadership position, the person who makes decisions that build or destroy companies comes from a home which shaped him or her. More specifically, that person came from a mother.

One thing all human beings have in common is that we all had mothers. Our mother might have been great; she might have been terrible. She might still be our foremost fan and source of emotional support, or she might have abandoned us at birth. She might have helped or harmed us, or done both, but we simply wouldn’t be here if it were not for mothers. Mothers are, at the very least, a biological necessity for the continuance of humankind.

What is more, for good or ill, mothers have tremendous impact and influence over who their children become. While mothers cannot take full credit or full blame for the way their children turn out, they are undoubtedly significant contributors to those outcomes. Hence, they shape society.

A mother forms a child's first impressions of the world, even while the child is inside the womb. Some research shows the neurological influence the qualities of a mother's thoughts and emotions have on a child. Common sense tells us that a tense and anxious mother or one exulting with the joys of laughter and song has an impact on the person in her womb, even if only at the level of unhealthy or healthy heart rates. Of course, what a mother ingests also impacts her child, sometimes for life.

In that sense, mothers are the first leaders we ever encounter in this life. The way they lead their lives starts settling into the folds of our brains early on to mold us into the people we are.

Abraham Lincoln, considered one of our greatest presidents, said, “All that I am, I owe to my angel mother.”

Even in eras where women had far less power in the voting booth and the marketplace, there was a saying: "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world." Mothers exerted enormous influence over society by raising the children who would become tomorrow's adults.

Motherhood is vital for the existence of society in both biological and non-biological ways. Yet motherhood is rarely honored or as highly esteemed in our society as a position of leadership. Our culture gives off endless signals that the commitments made by mothers are not that important compared to what women may do in professional roles outside the home. Motherhood is not recognized as a world-influencing profession, a role of genuinely heroic proportions that propels society forward in innumerable ways.

One of the reasons for the devaluation of motherhood is that there is no economic value attached to it. Yet mothers provide services of high economic value. To purchase all the services a mother provides for a family would amount to about $143,102 per year, estimates Salary.com. This estimate is based upon the market value of replacing a mother's services by hiring a cook, a maid, a driver, a bookkeeper, a childcare worker, a laundress, a shopper, and probably a psychological counselor too.

That’s just for a 40-hour work week! Mothers often work long into the evening and through the night. They are at work before office hours too.

Of course, we all know that mothers contribute things that cannot be measured in dollars, invaluable things that humanity cannot do without. Yet we often hear in our culture, when someone is even willing to admit it: "I'm just a mom."

Just a mom? Actually, a society-shaping leader!

As a society, we do women a disservice not to support the life-altering leadership role they play as mothers. Raising children is something all of society should be interested in and supportive of, for mothers are helping to create the future.

Moms are foundational to healthy and happy families, which are the building blocks of safe and prosperous communities and societies. An important part of motherhood is creating an environment in which the family can thrive--providing healthy food, cleanliness, cultural knowledge, pleasant words, a soothing voice, peace, and support. Creating a haven for her family is valuable opportunity for a mother.

Some people remember the comforting and reassuring smells and tastes of their mothers’ cooking long into adulthood. They gaze with fondness over dilapidated decorations their mothers put up to celebrate important traditions. A compliment or a “word to the wise” from Mom can stay with and direct a person’s entire life.

A mother can create an atmosphere in a family where the members feel accepted and safe. Creating a welcoming, cozy, and warm home can create refreshment of body and soul after being out in a world that can be very harsh and rejecting at times. It is immeasurably valuable to have that safe haven.

A dedicated mother gives each child the individual attention he or she needs to flourish. She is the one who notices the drooping lip, who listens and offers counsel and help. She is the one who notices the hot forehead and gets out the thermometer. A loving mother is the one who points out, “You love to draw. Do you think you could draw a building?” or “Let’s spend some extra time together on your math skills,” or “I notice how much you like to help people. That’s a wonderful quality in you.” 

A loving mother is the one who knows you best and always has your best interests at heart. Where can you find someone else like that?  

The classic Disney animated film Peter Pan had a homesick Wendy contemplating mothers in song. Part of the lyrics of “Your Mother and Mine” are:

“Ask your heart to tell you her worth.

Your heart will say, ‘Heaven on earth.’

Another word for divine: your mother and mine.”

Moms also give emotional cues to relating to others. She reinforces the family by showing how much she values each member from young to old through her care and appreciation of each. She demonstrates manners and how to form good relationships with others, acting on and instructing children in the power and value of close connections with fellow human beings. These connections are not only vital to human health and fulfillment, but they also help people succeed in the workplace as well, demonstrating emotional intelligence.

The power of a mother to help a child learn to attach to other human beings is very real. If it doesn't happen in this relationship, it is vitally important for those deprived to seek neuro-emotional therapy; there is definitely help out there for learning to attach to others in healthy ways.

Mothers offer companionship. They can be wide-eyed explorers along with their children, making life together fun and exciting and reinforcing the joys of collaboration.

Mothers need to be resourceful; they make the best of what they have. When the children are bored, the creative mother comes up with ways to productively occupy the hours. In the traditional home, the man brought resources in, but it was the woman who made the best out of those resources, no matter how scarce or abundant they were. She made new curtains out of an old table cloth or a delicious stew out of odds and ends. She made a rainy afternoon a joyful discovery of the frontier as she put up a makeshift tent and taught her children about heroic explorers.

In modern culture, there is a constant pull for both parents to work full-time to bring in more resources. Yet isn't utilizing existing resources one of the most important parts of any economic system? Every enterprise needs to maximize its resources since resources are, by definition, limited.

In all cultures, in all societies, the powerful results of motherhood are being experienced right now, shaping our world. How much does it cost society in health care dollars, rehabilitation, and social welfare programs to make up for the actions of people who grew up without adequate mothering? Billions! Training kids to be benefits to society is an immeasurable contribution to society. What high costs to society if mothers are not able to raise their children well because they feel pressured into the workplace or unsupported in this vital role. 

Mothers are the most influential people in history as they shape and empower their children. Mothers, grandmothers, and mother figures have molded society by producing functioning, positive, productive human beings.

The following is a sample list of what I would consider good motherly qualities. It is clear that these are the qualities of a good leader:

• Artful management of a facility (the home) and the people in it (family members)
• Resourcefulness
• Ability to multi-task
• Consistency
• Steadfastness
• Empowerment
• Encouragement
• Actions taken in the best interests of the whole
• Toughness
• Resilience
• Creativity
• Wise counsel
• Listening skills
• Trustworthiness

Wouldn’t you vote for someone who had those qualities? Wouldn’t you endorse a person like that to lead a company or world enterprise? 

Children may not grow up to be famous people or heads of companies or countries. Still, they will be influencers and leaders. They will have an impact in their private and professional relationships and through their public personas. If mothers can raise children who add value wherever they go, who are benefits to themselves and society, then mothers lead the way in shaping society to create a better future for all.

Thank you

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