119: Redefining Success and Identity After 50 with Deborah Heiser
Release Date: 08/29/2025
119: Redefining Success and Identity After 50 with Deborah Heiser
Take Back Retirement
“Generativity. Think of it as generating something from yourself and putting it into the world.” Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, explore the positive side of aging with Dr. Deborah Heiser, an applied developmental psychologist who pivoted from studying depression and Alzheimer's to researching what we actually have to look forward to as we age. "You can run faster than me, but I'm happier than you." Dr. Heiser's transformation began at a dinner party when someone challenged her: "What do we have to look forward to as we age? You are studying everything that...
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118: Reclaiming Life: Lessons from a Gray Divorce Survivor with Pat Fenner
Take Back Retirement
"What I really was grieving was the loss of what I'd hoped my marriage would have been." – Pat Fenner Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, sit down with author and podcaster Pat Fenner, who shares her powerful journey through "gray divorce"—divorce that happens to women over 50, typically after a decade or more of marriage. After 37 years of marriage, Pat found herself having to start over at an age when most couples are planning retirement together. Her story brings to light the unique challenges facing women in gray divorce, from employment gaps that make renting an...
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117: The Power of Presence: Supporting Those in Grief with Paula Harris
Take Back Retirement
“‘Let me know if you need anything’ is one of the most useless things you can say.” –Paula Harris Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, sit down with financial advisor and author Paula Harris, who shares practical insights on how to support someone grieving the loss of a spouse. Drawing on years of experience working with widowed clients and her own faith-rooted perspective, Paula shares thoughtful, actionable ways to be present during what can be one of life’s most isolating seasons. Drawing from her publications Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal and A Grief Journal,...
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116: Reimagining Your Next Chapter: Longevity, Intention, and the Power of Yes with Allison Davis
Take Back Retirement
“Body work, brain work, and world work - all longevity habits fit into those three categories.” -Allison Davis When author and naturopath Allison Davis turned 60, she didn't accept it as the “gateway to old age”—she saw it as a turning point. Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, talk with Allison about her transformative journey and her new book, Sixty Is a Good Start: A Powerful Body, A Purposeful Life, and a Plan to Make It Happen. Allison recounts a yearlong period of reflection that led to saying “yes” to new challenges, most notably, the intense 75 Hard program....
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115: Financial Therapy: The Intersection of Money and Emotions with Wendy Wright
Take Back Retirement
“There is not good or bad with money” Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, sit down with financial therapist Wendy Wright to unpack the emotional complexities that often underlie our financial behaviors. Wendy believes that money issues aren’t just math problems—they’re emotional ones too! Rather than focusing on dollars and cents alone, Wendy helps her clients understand why they avoid budgeting, overspend in emotional moments, or feel incapable of managing money. Her mantra? “Abundant, compassionate curiosity and zero judgment.” Wendy discusses common patterns like...
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114: Child-free Estate Planning: Picking the Right People for Key Roles - and What to do if You are Picked! with Patricia De Fonte
Take Back Retirement
“Usually, people are not trying to kill you or keep you alive for nefarious reasons, unless you're very old and very rich and very mean.” -Patricia De Fonte When most people think of estate planning, they imagine dividing assets among children or a spouse—but Patricia De Fonte, founder of De Fonte Law, offers a broader and deeper perspective. Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, sit down with Patricia to explore what “estate planning with heart” really means, especially for those without children or partners. People often name child-free individuals as caretakers without...
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113: Side Hustle or Second Career? Navigating Midlife Entrepreneurship with Shannon Russell
Take Back Retirement
“Do your research. Do your planning yourself until you get that confidence to project it to the world, and whatever they say will bounce off your armor because you know you’re doing the right thing.” -Shannon Russell Thinking about trading your day job for a business of your own? You’re not alone—and you’re not crazy. Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, talk with Shannon Russell, a career transition coach who specializes in helping women reinvent themselves through entrepreneurship. Shannon shares her journey from TV producer to franchise owner to...
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112: Navigating Family Wealth Transfers: Emotional Intelligence and Effective Communication with Jill and Sean Maher
Take Back Retirement
“We’re talking about giving space to practice. Not only practice the relationships but also practice managing money.” -Sean Maher Most people plan their estate down to the last dollar, but forget to prepare for the emotional fallout that almost always comes from a lack of proper communication between family members. Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, sit down with husband and wife team Sean and Jill Maher to talk about their book The Greatest Gift: 9 Principles for the Transfer of Your Legacy Along with Your Wealth, which journeys into the emotional side of...
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111: From My Way to Our Way: Financial Planning for Blended Families with Donna Kendrick
Take Back Retirement
"In a blended family, fairness and mutual understanding are key, especially when navigating the complexities of prenuptial and postnuptial agreements.” -Donna Kendrick Navigating love after loss or divorce comes with a host of emotional and financial complexities, especially when blending families. Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, speak with Donna Kendrick, a financial planner who has lived through these transitions herself. After losing her husband unexpectedly, Donna rebuilt her life and career with a mission to help families in flux—widows, divorcées, and...
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110: Navigating the Complexities of Aging: Proactive Planning for Seniors and Families with Jill and Steve Marshall
Take Back Retirement
Our hosts Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines sit down with Steve and Jill Marshall of Silver Path Consulting to discuss all things future care, from housing, to finance, to family support. Jill and Steve lament the current lack of societal preparedness for a growing senior population, often referred to as a “silver tsunami” that’s growing bigger each year. They stress the importance of starting early discussions about aging within families, the benefits and drawbacks of different living arrangements, and an effective way to handle comprehensive information and resource...
info_outline“Generativity. Think of it as generating something from yourself and putting it into the world.”
Our hosts, Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines, explore the positive side of aging with Dr. Deborah Heiser, an applied developmental psychologist who pivoted from studying depression and Alzheimer's to researching what we actually have to look forward to as we age.
"You can run faster than me, but I'm happier than you."
Dr. Heiser's transformation began at a dinner party when someone challenged her: "What do we have to look forward to as we age? You are studying everything that scares us." This moment sparked her journey into understanding generativity—an emotional developmental milestone we reach in midlife where we feel compelled to give back and make our mark on the world.
The conversation reveals a powerful truth: we're biologically programmed to become happier and more fulfilled as we age. This isn't the superficial happiness of opening presents, but the deep satisfaction of asking "Did I matter?" and finding ways to generate impact. Whether through podcasting, volunteering, or passing down family recipes on grandmother's index cards, we're all engaging in mentorship, often without realizing it.
Dr. Heiser makes a crucial distinction between doing your job and true mentoring. A teacher advising students is working; mentoring happens outside the classroom, through voluntary emotional connections. Her book "The Mentorship Edge" helps readers recognize and quantify their impact, filling what she calls their "impact bank."
Most importantly, she reminds us that midlife identity shifts aren't crises but opportunities to pull forgotten aspects of ourselves from the back of the closet and engage parts of our identity we've neglected while surviving our earlier years.
Key Topics:
- Why We Get Happier as We Age (03:08)
- Understanding Generativity and the Difference Between Generous and Generative (11:07)
- Identity Shifts in Midlife (17:11)
- Family Traditions as Mentorship (22:53)
- Mentorship vs. Doing Your Job (23:30)
- Reframing Negative Perspectives on Aging (25:46)
- Stephanie and Kevin’s Wrap-Up (36:30)
Resources:
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