Talking With Dr. Toy: Cup Drainers--Types of Energy Vampires
Release Date: 06/08/2025
Talking With Dr Toy
Living a life not just maintaining an image requires intentionality, reflection, and exploring some existential questions about life. Two questions entail an acknowledgement that sometimes we live life on a stage where we're constantly trying to control and manage other's perceptions of us. At times we may contort ourselves to conform to an image that is acceptable to us and one that will be embraced by others. Have you asked yourself what image am I trying to maintain and why? Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
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Well it's 2026 and one thing you can most certainly say is that you made it over the threshold to witness the New Year. Now that you've entered, what now? What moves or goals do you desire to accomplish this year? May I offer a suggestion? Could this be the year that you make a decision to live a life not just maintain an image? Erving Goffman popularized the concept of impression management "also known as self-presentation and refers to the ways that people attempt to control how they are perceived by others." Let's talk about it! www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
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There's a time for everything and a season for everything under the sun. There's a time to plant, a time to uproot, and a time to tear down, and a time to build and finally a time to weep and a time to laugh. The end of year is often a time of reflection but some often avoid this practice because it may induce difficult emotions. However, for such a time as this, reflection maybe a process that helps you invest in a relaunch of your goals, your vision, and your dreams. Take some time to reflect, assess, and acknowledge and then invest in your relaunch! www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
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It's the most wonderful time of the year is a very popular Christmas song but it only speaks to one aspect of Christmas. According to research, the holidays can also be one of the most stressful, loneliness, and depressing times of the year. Stress, depression, and grief are not great marketing strategies, so happiness, gatherings, and gifts are promoted as holiday commodities. There may be few emotional safe spaces for those who are experiencing emotional pain and grief, but just know you are not alone so please identify strategies to navigate those difficult emotions.
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It's easy to be swept up in the hustle and bustle of the season as people prepare to give and receive gifts. Although we are aware of the commercialization of Christmas, it's still difficult to resist the temptation to spend more than we have, to stress and spend endless hours searching for the perfect gifts, getting the house ready for parties and gatherings, and making sure everyone's needs are met possibly fearing that we will disappoint them. However, what about you? That's not a selfish question, it is one that encompasses self love and self care. Please remember you this season....
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Are you ready? Have you been preparing and stocking your mental health toolkit to navigate this holiday season? Navigating the holiday season can present a challenge because it can be a balancing act where you're experiencing and learning to manage big and difficult emotions. As you navigate this holiday season, I'm encouraging you to check your mental health toolkit. I ask you to consider the following: Context, safety, and compassion/grace for self and others. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
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My grandmother affectionately known as "Bigmama" would always say, "People don't have to be nice." This statement usually came as a result of someone enacting an act of kindness. Such a reflection may have been a result of both gratitude and rarity. Grateful someone showed kindness, and the perception that it is indeed rare for people to be kind. In times like these, is being a nice a rarity? Is being cruel, uncaring, and unkind fashionable? Let us examine ourselves and ponder which culture to which we are contributing; cruelty or kindness. Please let it be the latter. It helps when people are...
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Are you ready? Yes, it's about that time. The holiday season is fast approaching and although some may experience anticipation and excitement, others are dreading it for various reasons. Some are financially struggling this season and may not be able to do all they've done in the past which may induce some shame and even embarrassment. For others, this may be the first holiday season without that loved one whom they miss so much. Holidays are reminders and provide time for reflection which can evoke some difficult emotions. What's in your holiday mental health toolkit? www.talkingwithdrtoy.com...
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When I speak to individuals about self-care, it is often equated with selfishness which has a negative connotation. When I speak of community care, showing up for others and allowing others to show up for you, there is often resistance im asking for help or leaning into the support. Why? We've been conditioned by a number of societal and cultural factors that challenge the notions of self-care and community care. If you struggle with implementing these two concepts in your life, what are your challenges? Are you ready to resolve them? In times like these, self-care and community care are...
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It is important to contextualize your life experiences. At times, our inner critic can beat us down with harsh judgments and words especially when we don't think we're operating at our best. The inner critic will remind us of how we used to perform and that presently, we're just missing the mark which can induce shame and self-loathing. However, the inner critic seldom takes into account our current context, where are we now and what's happening in our lives? Evaluating ourselves apart from context, renders an distorted assessment. Remember, context matters! www.talkingwithdrtoy.com
info_outlineInstead of asking what's wrong with an individual, the question should be asked what happened to you. This is an appropriate question to ask of people in your life who may be energy vampires. According to Gupta, there are several ways energy vampires interact within relationships including as the constant victim and criticizer. These types of energy vampires may be stuck in loops where they can't move beyond victimizing and negative experiences which informs their identity and their behavior. This shows up in how they relate to others which can be draining and exhausting. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com