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How to Lose Your Should, Tame Your Inner Critic, and Enjoy Parenting - with Dr. Alison Escalante

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

Release Date: 10/28/2019

Don’t Wish The Days Away—Yes, Even These Ones show art Don’t Wish The Days Away—Yes, Even These Ones

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

If you’ve felt like these past few months have both dragged on and flown past at the same time, you’re not alone. We’re all waiting with bated breath... “I can’t wait until this is over.” But what does it do to us—as individuals? as a society?—when we “can’t wait” for a whole year to go by? What happens to life in the meantime? This episode tackles this question & presents a philosophy I've been trying to live by—and have been trying to instill in my kids—these last several months. __ Share this episode with the link: drstevesilvestro.com/119 Check out my 'Love Is...

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Working from Home with Kids Around (and Surviving!) - with Dr. Andrea Bonior show art Working from Home with Kids Around (and Surviving!) - with Dr. Andrea Bonior

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

We all have multiple roles to play—but none of us expected to have to play them all at the same time, all day long. These last several months, many parents have had to fill the roles of parent, educator, and teleworker with few, if any, clear boundaries between them. The result? The nagging feeling that you're failing at every single one of those jobs. If this sounds like you, you're not alone—and as Dr. Andrea Bonior discusses in this insightful & fun interview, you're not doomed to feel this way forever. In fact, there are clear, simple steps you can take to feel more confident as...

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Is Daycare Safe During COVID-19? show art Is Daycare Safe During COVID-19?

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

The most common answer pediatricians have been asked by parents of young kids is: "Is it safe to send my child to daycare right now?" The best, most honest answer we currently have? Probably. Maybe. We think. In this episode, I outline everything we currently know so you can make the best decision for your family. *You can share this episode by sharing the link: *Find all '10-Miute Preschool' videos PLUS  my video explaining PPE to kids at *And the coupon to get the $149 Mindfulness for Parents Online Course for only $20 expires July 31st. Use the code TWENTY20 and sign up here:

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The Tool That's Keeping My Family Positive show art The Tool That's Keeping My Family Positive

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

We're halfway into 2020 & it's clear that we could all use a glimmer of hope right now. This is a tool that I've mentioned before, but that has taken on even more importance for my family right now. My hope is that it can help yours, too. You can find the article version of this episode at I've also extended the discount for my Mindfulness for Parents Online Course through July -- take the $149 course for only $20 by using the code 'TWENTY20'. Learn more .

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We Get To Carry Each Other show art We Get To Carry Each Other

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

Like much of the country, I’ve been thinking a lot about inequality and bigotry of late, trying to put so many feelings into coherent thoughts. And as I do, the memory of one impactful experience from when I was 19 keeps coming back to me... You can find the article version of this episode at The moral arc of the universe bends toward justice—but we have to be the ones who bend it.

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Decoding Boys - with Dr. Cara Natterson show art Decoding Boys - with Dr. Cara Natterson

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

The task of parenting a modern day boy is daunting. It's as if teenage boys and those who raise them are in an Indiana Jones movie, dodging blades and poisonous darts flying past them at every turn. And the snake-filled pit, of course, is the constant barrage of headlines showing masculinity gone wrong. So how do we crack the code of raising boys—and do so right at a time when they typically start growing quiet? That’s the focus of —the newest book from Cara Natterson, MD. You might remember Dr. Natterson from our episode together on “” (and if you haven’t listened to that, you...

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Helping Kids Cope in Difficult Times - with Robin Brannan show art Helping Kids Cope in Difficult Times - with Robin Brannan

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

"Fear and what you do with it are two separate things." I love this quote from Kimberly Brubaker Bradley, especially right now.  What we and our kids do with big emotions can have more of an impact on our lives than feeling the emotions themselves.  In this episode, Robin Brannan, founder of Better Together Family Therapy, shares tips to help kids cope in difficult times. You just might find that many of these tips helpful for yourself, too! And on another note: If you or someone you know has a preschooler, be sure to check out 10-Minute Preschool, a new video series featuring...

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Update from the Front Lines of COVID-19 - with ER Physician Michael Daignault show art Update from the Front Lines of COVID-19 - with ER Physician Michael Daignault

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

When I last spoke with Dr. Michael Daignault 6 weeks ago, the COVID-19 storm was approaching. Now that we're in the thick of it, he and I catch up to discuss what it's been like on the front lines in the Emergency Department. We also dispel some rumors you may have heard about treatment & prevention, discuss what's necessary to "open the country," and silver linings in this new normal. Find video of our conversation at You can help! Go to  and learn how to sponsor meals delivered from your local restaurants to your community hospital.

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Home Teaching & Helping Kids Thrive During COVID-19 - with Dr. Anisha Abraham show art Home Teaching & Helping Kids Thrive During COVID-19 - with Dr. Anisha Abraham

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

We're in a new normal—and with no clear end in sight. And as frustrating or anxiety-provoking as it may be, there is one indisputable fact about our current situation: We and our children will grow as people because of it. So how do we ensure that growth and development are the best they can be? How do we help our kids thrive during COVID-19? Having lived in Hong Kong and currently living in the Netherlands, Dr. Anisha Abraham has seen friends and coworkers manage parenting in a pandemic for months now—and she shares the lessons they've learned in our conversation on The Child Repair Guide...

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Tips for Kids' & Teens' Mental Health During Coronavirus  show art Tips for Kids' & Teens' Mental Health During Coronavirus

The Child Repair Guide with Dr. Steve Silvestro

So I’m the pediatrician who wrote that discouraging playdates during the coronavirus pandemic. And while I’m glad the message got out—over 2 million people read that article—it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to write. Why? Because even though I know that such extreme social distancing is absolutely necessary to slow the spread of this sneaky virus, I also know that isolating ourselves from each other can have a massive toll on mental health. And I’ve seen that toll already. As I write this now, schools in my area have been closed for only a week, and yet my pediatric...

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More Episodes

We all have “To Do” lists—sometimes several of them at once. 

But do you have a parenting To Do List? And of those list of things to do—whether they’re short-term or long-term—how many of them are things that NEED to get done, versus things you WANT to see happen, versus things you feel like you SHOULD be doing?

See, there’s a big difference—and my guest today will argue that all those “shoulds,” all those pressures we guiltily put on ourselves but are neither real needs nor wants, those “shoulds” just might be 

Alison Escalante, MD believes our culture of anxiety is stealing parents' joy and telling them they can never do enough or get it right. She is a Pediatrician, TEDx Speaker, Writer and the Creator of the 3S method to help parents raise their kids skillfully AND enjoy doing it. 

Dr. Escalante has degrees from Princeton in the history of ideas and Rutgers in medicine, and did her pediatric training at Duke and University of Chicago. 

I found our conversation in Episode 101 of The Child Repair Guide to be quite a compelling argument for reassessing the personal and family goals we all set—and I bet you’ll find something in it compelling, too.

In our conversation, we talk about:

  • How the United States is tied for #1 in the world when it comes to anxiety—and why anxiety is so natural for parents to feel
  • Dr. Escalante describes the parenting “Should Storm”—and how our “shoulds” impact our kids and keep us from enjoying them as much as we could
  • The problem with “catastophizing”—how the small parenting choices you make AREN’T actually going to mess your kids up for life
  • How studies show that getting it wrong 70% of the time is actually good for your kids
  • Taming your inner critic
  • 3 steps to ending the “Should Storm”—with real-life examples
  • Why so many parents feel the weight of Imposter Syndrome
  • How to prevent your kids from developing Imposter Syndrome, and grow up confident and resilient instead
  • We cover research showing that kids at high-achieving schools are as at-risk for mental and behavioral health problems as kids who suffer from poverty and abuse
  • And how the parenting experts don’t always get things right with their own families all the time (ahem!)

While you’re listening, if there’s a moment that really stands out to you, take a screenshot of your podcast player and post it to your Instagram Story and tag me in it—@zendocsteve—and I’ll share it out, too!