Staying Married Is the Hardest Part: Infidelity, Empathy, and the Glue That Holds Us Together
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Release Date: 08/02/2025
The Truth About Guilt No One Talks About
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Guilt is one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences women carry, and one of the most controlling. In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Jennifer Reid, author of Guilt-Free, to unpack why so many women still feel guilt in this day and age… even when they’re doing everything “right.” We explore how guilt gets internalized, how it shapes the way you show up in your relationships, and why it can feel so difficult to release- even when you know it’s not serving you. This episode goes deeper than “just let it go.” We talk about what guilt actually is, how it’s different...
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Why Letting Go Isn’t the Same as Giving Up
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Letting go is one of the most misunderstood decisions we face in relationships. If you’ve ever stayed longer than you should have… Tried harder than felt sustainable… Or questioned whether walking away means you’ve failed- This episode is for you. In this conversation, Dr. Zoe unpacks the powerful difference between giving up and letting go, and why so many high-capacity, deeply loving women struggle to tell the difference. Through the lens of Complex Shame, you’ll begin to understand why letting go can feel like failure- even when it’s actually the most self-honoring choice you...
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The Epidemic of Not Enoughness: How It Shapes Your Relationships—and How to Break Free
Stronger in the Difficult Places
That quiet belief- I’m not enough- doesn’t just stay in your thoughts. It shows up in how you love, how you communicate, and how you stay in relationships that don’t fully meet you. In this episode, Dr. Zoe is joined by Christina Ketchen, host of The Self Love Shift Podcast, to unpack what we’re calling the epidemic of not enoughness—and why so many high-achieving women still feel it, no matter how much they’ve accomplished. Together, they explore how this internal belief quietly drives overgiving, overthinking, and self-abandonment in relationships—and what it actually takes...
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When Forgiveness Feels Impossible
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Forgiveness is often talked about like it’s simple- something you should do if you want to heal. But what if it doesn’t feel freeing… what if it feels impossible? In this episode, Dr. Zoe unpacks the complicated reality of forgiveness—why it’s so hard, what it actually means, and why struggling with it doesn’t make you broken. You’ll learn a new definition of forgiveness that removes pressure and shame, and offers a more honest path forward—one rooted in truth, grief, and self-compassion. What You’ll Learn • Why forgiveness often feels like letting someone “off the...
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You Can’t Change This (And Neither Can They): The Truth About Temperament in Relationships
Stronger in the Difficult Places
What if the thing you keep trying to change about yourself… isn’t actually changeable? And what if the same is true for your partner? In this powerful and perspective-shifting conversation, I sit down with Dr. Denim Slade, author of Unlock Your C.O.R.E. Potential, to talk about temperament, relationships, and the freedom that comes when we stop trying to “fix” what was never meant to be fixed. Dr. Slade brings decades of experience as a marriage and family therapist and coach, along with his CORE framework—a temperament-based system that helps people understand the parts of...
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What Do I Do When Overwhelming Shame Is Keeping Me From Seeking The Help I Truly Need?
Stronger in the Difficult Places
You are my people. Everything I create- this podcast, my writing, these emails- is for one reason: to help you have a better relationship with yourself and with the people you love. And when you ask me questions, I listen. I really listen. I answered this question today because even though she didn’t share many details, I could feel the anguish in her words… and I remember what it felt like to be in that place. Here’s what she asked: “Dr. Zoe, what do I do when overwhelming shame is keeping me from seeking the help I truly need? How do I even begin to find the words—or the...
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When You Feel Trapped In A Relationship You Chose
Stronger in the Difficult Places
What happens when the relationship you once chose begins to feel heavy and you quietly tell yourself you’re stuck? In this episode, Dr. Zoe speaks directly to the woman who feels trapped not by crisis, but by clarity she’s been avoiding. The kind of clarity that comes when love hasn’t disappeared, but ease has. When you’re still committed, but something inside you is tired. This is not an episode about whether you should stay or leave. It’s an invitation to reclaim your power. In this conversation, Dr. Zoe gently challenges one of the most painful beliefs women carry in long-term...
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Love Won’t Heal Your Self-Abandonment
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Many women believe that if they are loved well enough, they will finally feel secure, whole, and at peace. But here’s the hard truth: love doesn’t heal self-abandonment—it reveals it. In this episode, Dr. Zoe explores why self-abandonment forms, how it shows up in romantic relationships, and why expecting love to fix it quietly sabotages intimacy. This conversation is compassionate, direct, and deeply hopeful, especially if you’ve ever felt loved yet still unseen, exhausted, or emotionally alone. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: • Why self-abandonment is a learned survival...
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How Releasing the Need to Be Right Can Heal Co-Dependency and Shame
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Do you ever feel like you have to be “right” in order to feel safe? Or that if you could just figure out the answer, the relationship, or the next step, then the anxiety and shame would finally go away? If so, you’re not alone. Many women stuck in co-dependency and complex shame cling to certainty as a way to feel secure—but often it only leaves us more exhausted, more disconnected, and further from ourselves. In this episode of Stronger in the Difficult Places, I sit down with Stefani Ruper - Oxford-trained philosopher, former Harvard researcher, and author of the forthcoming book The...
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When Someone You Love Won’t Change
Stronger in the Difficult Places
We’ve all been there—wishing someone we love would finally be different. Maybe it’s a spouse who won’t listen, a parent who won’t soften, or a friend who keeps repeating the same destructive patterns. The temptation is to pour our energy into fixing them—but what if the real path to peace and change begins with you? In this episode, I unpack why clinging to the hope that someone will change can keep you stuck, frustrated, and resentful. I offer practical, compassionate steps for accepting people as they are, protecting your worth with boundaries, and reclaiming your peace. ...
info_outlineWhat does it really take to make a long-term marriage work and why do so many couples struggle to stay connected over time? In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Bonnie Comfort to explore the hard truths and hopeful tools behind enduring love.
With over 30 years of experience working with couples, Dr. Comfort offers a candid look into the complexities of modern marriage, the emotional minefield of infidelity, and why empathy, not perfection, is the real glue that holds relationships together. We talk about the cultural conditioning that encourages women to be overly pleasing, the evolving power dynamics in long-term relationships, and how to navigate the inevitable incompatibilities that arise between two people over time.
Dr. Comfort’s latest book, Staying Married Is the Hardest Part, is a compassionate, unflinching exploration of what it means to choose each other over and over again, even when it's not easy.
In this conversation, we explore:
- The infidelity trap and what it reveals about a relationship
- The “glue” that helps couples weather storms and stay committed
- The surprising risks inherent in couples’ therapy
- How empathy becomes a sustaining force in long-term love
- Why cultural messaging still trains women to please at their own expense
- How to make peace with the inevitable incompatibilities in marriage
- The shifting power dynamics that unfold over decades together
Meet Dr. Bonnie Comfort:
Dr. Bonnie Comfort is a clinical psychologist, author, and expert in marital therapy. She holds an MSW from the University of Manitoba and a PhD from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology in Los Angeles. Her psychological thriller Denial was published in seven countries and translated into four languages. Her newest book, Staying Married Is the Hardest Part, offers a raw, honest take on the emotional and psychological complexities of committed relationships. She lives in Portland, Oregon, with her long-time partner.
Connect with Dr. Bonnie Comfort:
Website: www.bonniecomfort.com
Instagram: @bonniecomfortauthor
Facebook: Bonnie Comfort
LinkedIn: Bonnie Comfort
Buy her book Staying Married Is the Hardest Part: here
Pre-order my book Stronger In The Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book
Free Downloads:
Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here
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