Staying Married Is the Hardest Part: Infidelity, Empathy, and the Glue That Holds Us Together
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Release Date: 08/02/2025
3 Things My Divorce Taught Me About Co-Dependency
Stronger in the Difficult Places
What do you even call a divorce anniversary? Two years after the end of my marriage, I find myself reflecting—not on celebration, but on growth, healing, and the lessons heartbreak leaves behind. In this deeply personal episode, I’m sharing the three truths divorce taught me about co-dependency and how I’m learning to live and love differently. Whether you’re walking through the rubble of a relationship, navigating the lonely spaces of divorce, or stepping into love again with a hopeful but shaky heart, these lessons are for you. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why...
info_outline
The “Saving Him” Illusion: Love, Loss, and Finding Freedom
Stronger in the Difficult Places
So many women in difficult relationships hold onto a dangerous belief: if I just love him enough, I can save him. Psychotherapist and author Shavaun Scott knows this illusion all too well. In her memoir Nightbird (Pierian Springs Press, May 12), she unflinchingly shares her journey through an emotionally abusive marriage, her husband’s tragic suicide, and the painful yet liberating process of rebuilding her life. In this conversation, Shavaun and I explore: Why so many women feel responsible for “saving” their partners—and how that belief keeps us trapped. How suicide or the threat of...
info_outline
Listen Like You Mean It - The Relationship Shift That Starts With Listening
Stronger in the Difficult Places
In a world where we’re taught to speak up, make our point, and persuade, the skill of listening often gets overlooked—and undervalued. Yet listening, when done well, can transform our relationships far more than talking or lecturing ever could. In this episode of Stronger in the Difficult Places, Dr. Zoe sits down with Licensed Professional Counselor Gina Yanovitch to explore how truly hearing others can deepen understanding, foster connection, and defuse conflict. Gina, author of Stop Avoiding It, shares how coping skills, neuroscience, and scripture can help us move out of our emotional...
info_outline
Staying Married Is the Hardest Part: Infidelity, Empathy, and the Glue That Holds Us Together
Stronger in the Difficult Places
What does it really take to make a long-term marriage work and why do so many couples struggle to stay connected over time? In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Bonnie Comfort to explore the hard truths and hopeful tools behind enduring love. With over 30 years of experience working with couples, Dr. Comfort offers a candid look into the complexities of modern marriage, the emotional minefield of infidelity, and why empathy, not perfection, is the real glue that holds relationships together. We talk about the cultural conditioning that encourages women to be overly...
info_outline
Dear Brave Soul: When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned- Shame, Blame And Other Things We Aren't Meant To Carry
Stronger in the Difficult Places
What do you do when life takes a turn you never asked for? When the diagnosis, the betrayal, the loss, or the slow unraveling of your plans leaves you feeling like the wrong person for the job? In this deeply personal and compassionate episode, Dr. Zoe reads a letter to anyone facing a life they didn’t expect. Originally written for an anthology, this letter was adapted for anyone navigating life-changing pain, disorientation, or shame. Whether you’re in the midst of grief, struggling with a sudden shift in identity, or simply wondering how to move forward this episode is a lifeline....
info_outline
How Men Are Conditioned to Emotionally Abandon us
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Why do so many women find themselves in relationships where they’re doing all the emotional labor? And what role does childhood—and especially the way we raise boys—play in this dynamic? In today’s powerful episode, Dr. Gloria K. Vanderhorst joins me to unpack the lifelong impact of early emotional conditioning—particularly for boys. With over 50 years of experience working with individuals, families, and schools, Dr. Gloria brings deep insight into how our earliest experiences shape how we love, relate, and often repeat patterns without even realizing it. We explore why boys are...
info_outline
Anxiety Is Just Energy: Tools to Calm Your Relationship Anxiety
Stronger in the Difficult Places
What if anxiety wasn’t the enemy, but a signal? In this powerful episode, Dr. Zoe talks with psychotherapist and transformational coach Bonnie Brindle about why anxiety is just energy—and how to channel it instead of being ruled by it. Bonnie shares her own story of living with intense anxiety, what finally helped her break free, and the surprising way your energy system could be sabotaging your calm. You’ll walk away with practical, empowering tools to regulate your nervous system before hard conversations, build internal trust, and quiet your mind when your relationship feels...
info_outline
Enmeshment, Co-dependence, and What Healthy Connection Actually Looks Like
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Welcome back to Stronger in the Difficult Places. I’m your host, Dr. Zoe, and today we’re digging deep into a topic that hits close to home for so many women in difficult relationships: the difference between enmeshment, co-dependence, and healthy interdependence. These patterns can be hard to recognize when they’re all you’ve ever known. Maybe you were taught that love means sacrifice. That closeness means never saying no. That boundaries are rejection. But the truth? Real love doesn’t require you to disappear. In this episode, you’ll learn: The key differences between enmeshment...
info_outline
Overcoming Guilt, Shame, and Blame in the Face of Our Children’s Struggles
Stronger in the Difficult Places
In this powerful episode, Dr. Zoe sits down with author and biblical life coach Dawn Ward to talk about the often-invisible toll that guilt, shame, and self-blame take on mothers of addicted children. Dawn shares how faith helped her move forward in her calling, even while her loved ones were still in the midst of their struggle. Together, they explore how trauma can keep us stuck, what it means to truly feel again, and how to reclaim peace without waiting for the perfect outcome. Dawn Ward is an author, speaker, Bible teacher, and a certified biblical life coach. She is the founder of The...
info_outline
What To Do When You Don’t Trust Your Partner
Stronger in the Difficult Places
Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship—and when it breaks, it can feel like your world is unraveling. In this deeply honest and empowering episode, Dr. Zoe speaks to the woman who finds herself in the painful in-between: staying in a relationship with a partner she no longer fully trusts. Whether the betrayal is emotional, financial, or physical—or the result of consistent minimization of your needs—Dr. Zoe shares five powerful steps to help you regain clarity, agency, and peace. This episode isn’t about making the decision to stay or leave. It’s about choosing...
info_outlineWhat does it really take to make a long-term marriage work and why do so many couples struggle to stay connected over time? In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Bonnie Comfort to explore the hard truths and hopeful tools behind enduring love.
With over 30 years of experience working with couples, Dr. Comfort offers a candid look into the complexities of modern marriage, the emotional minefield of infidelity, and why empathy, not perfection, is the real glue that holds relationships together. We talk about the cultural conditioning that encourages women to be overly pleasing, the evolving power dynamics in long-term relationships, and how to navigate the inevitable incompatibilities that arise between two people over time.
Dr. Comfort’s latest book, Staying Married Is the Hardest Part, is a compassionate, unflinching exploration of what it means to choose each other over and over again, even when it's not easy.
In this conversation, we explore:
- The infidelity trap and what it reveals about a relationship
- The “glue” that helps couples weather storms and stay committed
- The surprising risks inherent in couples’ therapy
- How empathy becomes a sustaining force in long-term love
- Why cultural messaging still trains women to please at their own expense
- How to make peace with the inevitable incompatibilities in marriage
- The shifting power dynamics that unfold over decades together
Meet Dr. Bonnie Comfort:
Dr. Bonnie Comfort is a clinical psychologist, author, and expert in marital therapy. She holds an MSW from the University of Manitoba and a PhD from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology in Los Angeles. Her psychological thriller Denial was published in seven countries and translated into four languages. Her newest book, Staying Married Is the Hardest Part, offers a raw, honest take on the emotional and psychological complexities of committed relationships. She lives in Portland, Oregon, with her long-time partner.
Connect with Dr. Bonnie Comfort:
Website: www.bonniecomfort.com
Instagram: @bonniecomfortauthor
Facebook: Bonnie Comfort
LinkedIn: Bonnie Comfort
Buy her book Staying Married Is the Hardest Part: here
Pre-order my book Stronger In The Difficult Places: drzoeshaw.com/book
Free Downloads:
Download the Steps to Healing from Complex Shame™ PDF: here
Get the First Chapter of Stronger in the Difficult Places: here
Connect with me: