Episode 252: Learning to Feel Conflicting Emotions (w/ Melissa McGilliard)
Release Date: 10/28/2024
Episode 255: Processing Your Emotions After a Placement Disruption (w/ Kamrie Smith)
The Forgotten Podcast
When you decide to become a foster parent, you are asked a wide range of questions about what kind of placements you are willing to accept. What ages will you take? What ages won’t you take? Are there any special needs you will or won’t be able to accommodate? What about sibling groups? Even when your agency is doing their best to reach out to you about children that fit your criteria, the reality is that sometimes all of the information about a child is simply not known. They may not know the specific behaviors a child presents, every piece of their history, or additional challenges...
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Episode 254: What It’s Like Becoming a TFI Advocate (w/ Justin Meehan)
The Forgotten Podcast
It’s that time of year again! As you may know, we open only a couple times each year, and this November is one of those opportunities. If you’re considering applying, today’s episode is the perfect chance to learn more about what becoming a TFI Advocate journey really looks like. That’s because we have the special treat of hearing from one of our most recently launched Advocates, Justin Meehan. Justin and his wife have been foster parents for the last three years. Currently, they have three biological children and a soon-to-be adopted son. Justin is a newly launched TFI...
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Episode 253: ALL IN for Children in Foster Care (w/ Lynn Johnson)
The Forgotten Podcast
To make a positive impact on the foster care community, we need action on both a personal and systemic level. We need community members who are willing to step up and support individuals directly, but we also need leaders capable of creating policies that address real challenges. My guest for this episode, Lynn Johnson, is someone who has stepped into both of these roles. Lynn served as Assistant Secretary for the Administration for Children and Families in the US Department of Health and Human Services, which is a Senate-confirmed appointment where she led over 60 programs designed to make a...
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Episode 252: Learning to Feel Conflicting Emotions (w/ Melissa McGilliard)
The Forgotten Podcast
Have you ever had a foster placement or adoption plan fall through? Initially, you feel excited about the prospect of welcoming another child into your home. You start gathering things you think the child may need. Clothes. Toys. School supplies. But then you get another call that the plan is being changed. On one hand, you’re grateful there’s still a plan to keep the child safe, but on the other hand you feel a deep sense of loss and grief. Learning to hold multiple conflicting emotions is a core part of foster care. All along the journey, we are holding both joy and grief. Beauty and...
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Episode 251: Why "Getting Too Attached" Makes You a Great Foster Parent (w/ Caitlyn Baten)
The Forgotten Podcast
“I couldn’t become a foster parent because I’d get too attached.” This is a sentiment we’ve heard many times from those considering foster care. We know that foster care is full of the good and the hard; both beauty and brokenness. Overcoming our fears and holding space for both of these things is no easy task. And in my guest’s experience, the fear of getting too attached is the very thing that makes you a good candidate to become a foster parent. Caitlyn Baten has been married to her best friend, Tim, for six years. She’s an adoptive and foster mom, is passionate about advocacy...
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Episode 250: How to Navigate an Open Adoption (w/ Jori Victory)
The Forgotten Podcast
Open adoptions began in 1975, but they didn’t become more common until the 1990s. Today, 9 out of 10 adoptions are open. While open adoptions are far more common today, adoptive parents may have concerns and fears about navigating that relationship with a child's birth parents. Likewise, birth parents are often worried about finding the place they belong in the process and entrusting someone else to care for their child while still maintaining a relationship. Today, I have the privilege of learning from and listening to someone who was formerly in foster care and who is also a birth mother....
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Episode 249: I Am Not My Parents' Story (w/ Darnella Miller)
The Forgotten Podcast
TW: This episode contains mentions of drug use, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. If these topics could be triggering for you or others, we wanted you to be aware of these topics before listening. The trauma of our past can often define us and inform what we think and how we behave. This can create a cycle in which we are far more likely to repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us. As Darnella Miller was growing up, her mother was caught in a cycle of drug addiction, placing Darnella in many unsafe situations that led to multiple forms of abuse and eventually removal from her...
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Fan Favorite: Prayerful Decisions—Saying Yes and No (w/ AJ and Katrina Nowaczyk)
The Forgotten Podcast
There can be a lot of pressure on foster parents to always step up and say “yes” to each placement. One of the reasons many became foster parents was to be able to make a significant difference, so doesn’t that mean accepting as many placements as you are able? But what happens if you say “no” to a placement? What if you say “no” when a child in foster care is able to be adopted? My guests, AJ and Katrina Nowaczyk, know what it feels like to have to say “no.” They have fostered nine children. While they didn’t set out to only foster, they learned a lot whenever the...
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Fan Favorite: Life in Foster Care—What It’s Really Like (w/ Tori Petersen)
The Forgotten Podcast
In terms of foster care, my guest has experienced it all. She entered foster care at age four and then reunited with her mom only to be removed from her mother’s care again. In total, she had twelve placements, lived in a group home, and would finally make the decision to emancipate. Tori Petersen is a bestselling author, national speaker, and Bible teacher. She shares her testimony and life as authentically as possible to help and offer hope to others. Tori is known for her fierce advocacy work for foster care, adoption, and vulnerable children. At home, she is a wife and mama, who deeply...
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Fan Favorite: The Birth Parent Perspective—What It’s Like Having Your Child Removed From You
The Forgotten Podcast
It's not as common that we get to hear the perspective and experience of biological parents in the foster care community, but it's such an important perspective for us to hear and understand. My guest, Ashley, found herself caught in addiction after being exposed to narcotic painkillers during a hospital stay for several clots in her brain. When her drug use spiraled out of control, it led to her son being removed from her custody and put into foster care. Ashley’s story is one of brokenness but also one of redemption. In this episode, you’ll hear about the circumstances that can lead to a...
info_outlineHave you ever had a foster placement or adoption plan fall through? Initially, you feel excited about the prospect of welcoming another child into your home. You start gathering things you think the child may need. Clothes. Toys. School supplies. But then you get another call that the plan is being changed. On one hand, you’re grateful there’s still a plan to keep the child safe, but on the other hand you feel a deep sense of loss and grief.
Learning to hold multiple conflicting emotions is a core part of foster care. All along the journey, we are holding both joy and grief. Beauty and hardship. Holding on and letting go.
My guest today knows precisely what this feels like. Melissa McGilliard has been married to Chris for sixteen years and is a stay-at-home mom to their three boys, the youngest of which joined their family through foster care.
In this episode, Melissa shares some of the raw emotions she has experienced as a foster parent, why better understanding herself has helped her better support her adopted child, and the importance of allowing your heart to hold conflicting emotions.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melissa-mcgilliard-252/