Episode 252: Learning to Feel Conflicting Emotions (w/ Melissa McGilliard)
Release Date: 10/28/2024
Episode 259: Born into Foster Care (w/ Lucy Baker)
The Forgotten Podcast
Trigger Warning: We want to let our listeners know that this episode includes mentions of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and thoughts of suicide. If you are sensitive to any of these topics, we recommend you listen with caution. From the day she entered the world, Lucy Baker felt as though she didn’t have a home. Born inside of a jail to a mother in crisis, she was immediately placed into foster care and would end up having 37 different homes in her lifetime. Because of the extensive trauma she endured growing up, Lucy always struggled to feel as though she belonged. But Lucy knows that her...
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Episode 258: Learning How to Care for a Child’s Hair (w/ Authrine T.K. Singleton)
The Forgotten Podcast
When a child enters our home, there are many factors we consider to ensure their comfort and safety. However, one important aspect of a child’s well-being can often be overlooked—their hair care. This is especially true if the child comes from a different racial background, where hair care needs may differ significantly. Hair is an important part of African American culture and identity, but white foster parents sometimes struggle to understand how to care for types and textures of hair that are unlike their own. And for some children, caring for their hair can be emotionally or physically...
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Episode 257: Uncovering Your Identity (w/ Kyle Bullock, Ellyn Bullock, & Michelle Hubble)
The Forgotten Podcast
It’s natural to wonder who your birth parents are. In fact, this is a question that many foster and adoptive children wrestle with. For children, teens, and even adults who have never known their biological parents, curiosity about their identity often goes hand in hand with a fear of the unknown. And for foster and adoptive parents, broaching this topic can bring up worries around the answers your child may find, and how what they uncover could heal or hurt them. My guests today have navigated these questions and concerns from the perspectives of an adoptive child, adoptive parent, and...
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Episode 256: The True Story of Possum Trot (w/ Bishop and First Lady Donna Martin)
The Forgotten Podcast
Over the summer, hit theaters across the country. This film tells the powerful true story of Donna and Bishop Martin as they ignited a fire in the hearts of their rural church to embrace children in foster care who needed a home. Their East Texas community stepped up to do the impossible and adopt 77 children out of foster care. There were many challenges along the way, but through the grace of God and the strength of their conviction, they came together and transformed lives. Their story is a testament to the call for Christians to care for orphans and ensure every child knows the love and...
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Episode 255: Processing Your Emotions After a Placement Disruption (w/ Kamrie Smith)
The Forgotten Podcast
When you decide to become a foster parent, you are asked a wide range of questions about what kind of placements you are willing to accept. What ages will you take? What ages won’t you take? Are there any special needs you will or won’t be able to accommodate? What about sibling groups? Even when your agency is doing their best to reach out to you about children that fit your criteria, the reality is that sometimes all of the information about a child is simply not known. They may not know the specific behaviors a child presents, every piece of their history, or additional challenges...
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Episode 254: What It’s Like Becoming a TFI Advocate (w/ Justin Meehan)
The Forgotten Podcast
It’s that time of year again! As you may know, we open only a couple times each year, and this November is one of those opportunities. If you’re considering applying, today’s episode is the perfect chance to learn more about what becoming a TFI Advocate journey really looks like. That’s because we have the special treat of hearing from one of our most recently launched Advocates, Justin Meehan. Justin and his wife have been foster parents for the last three years. Currently, they have three biological children and a soon-to-be adopted son. Justin is a newly launched TFI...
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Episode 253: ALL IN for Children in Foster Care (w/ Lynn Johnson)
The Forgotten Podcast
To make a positive impact on the foster care community, we need action on both a personal and systemic level. We need community members who are willing to step up and support individuals directly, but we also need leaders capable of creating policies that address real challenges. My guest for this episode, Lynn Johnson, is someone who has stepped into both of these roles. Lynn served as Assistant Secretary for the Administration for Children and Families in the US Department of Health and Human Services, which is a Senate-confirmed appointment where she led over 60 programs designed to make a...
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Episode 252: Learning to Feel Conflicting Emotions (w/ Melissa McGilliard)
The Forgotten Podcast
Have you ever had a foster placement or adoption plan fall through? Initially, you feel excited about the prospect of welcoming another child into your home. You start gathering things you think the child may need. Clothes. Toys. School supplies. But then you get another call that the plan is being changed. On one hand, you’re grateful there’s still a plan to keep the child safe, but on the other hand you feel a deep sense of loss and grief. Learning to hold multiple conflicting emotions is a core part of foster care. All along the journey, we are holding both joy and grief. Beauty and...
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Episode 251: Why "Getting Too Attached" Makes You a Great Foster Parent (w/ Caitlyn Baten)
The Forgotten Podcast
“I couldn’t become a foster parent because I’d get too attached.” This is a sentiment we’ve heard many times from those considering foster care. We know that foster care is full of the good and the hard; both beauty and brokenness. Overcoming our fears and holding space for both of these things is no easy task. And in my guest’s experience, the fear of getting too attached is the very thing that makes you a good candidate to become a foster parent. Caitlyn Baten has been married to her best friend, Tim, for six years. She’s an adoptive and foster mom, is passionate about advocacy...
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Episode 250: How to Navigate an Open Adoption (w/ Jori Victory)
The Forgotten Podcast
Open adoptions began in 1975, but they didn’t become more common until the 1990s. Today, 9 out of 10 adoptions are open. While open adoptions are far more common today, adoptive parents may have concerns and fears about navigating that relationship with a child's birth parents. Likewise, birth parents are often worried about finding the place they belong in the process and entrusting someone else to care for their child while still maintaining a relationship. Today, I have the privilege of learning from and listening to someone who was formerly in foster care and who is also a birth mother....
info_outlineHave you ever had a foster placement or adoption plan fall through? Initially, you feel excited about the prospect of welcoming another child into your home. You start gathering things you think the child may need. Clothes. Toys. School supplies. But then you get another call that the plan is being changed. On one hand, you’re grateful there’s still a plan to keep the child safe, but on the other hand you feel a deep sense of loss and grief.
Learning to hold multiple conflicting emotions is a core part of foster care. All along the journey, we are holding both joy and grief. Beauty and hardship. Holding on and letting go.
My guest today knows precisely what this feels like. Melissa McGilliard has been married to Chris for sixteen years and is a stay-at-home mom to their three boys, the youngest of which joined their family through foster care.
In this episode, Melissa shares some of the raw emotions she has experienced as a foster parent, why better understanding herself has helped her better support her adopted child, and the importance of allowing your heart to hold conflicting emotions.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melissa-mcgilliard-252/