Ep. 107 Moron Chaplaincy

Open - So I have begun to  volunteer at a local Hospital which is also a trauma center.  What separates a  trauma center from a regular hospital?  I look at it the same way you might look at the difference between a four star and a five star hotel.  A five star hotel needs two dining rooms, one formal, and I believe 24 hour room service and concierge service… probably some other stuff.

According to https://hospitalmedicaldirector.com/ which is a blog about hospital medical directors: 

A level 1 trauma center must have a trauma/general surgeon in the hospital 24-hours a day, along with an anesthesiologist and a full O-R staff available in the hospital 24-hours a day as well as a critical care physician 24-hours a day.  

There must also be immediate availability of an orthopedic surgeon, neurosurgeon, radiologist, plastic surgeon, and oral/maxillofacial surgeon. There must be > 1,200 trauma admissions per year.  There are also requirements for the number of hours these surgeons and physicians must have each year.  

 

Finally, These centers must participate in research and have at least 20 publications per year.

The main difference between a 1 one and a level 2 trauma center is primarily the lack of research and publication requirements.

So, I have just barely started volunteering in one of California’s 17 Level I trauma centers.  So far, I go on only one day a week and I shadow one of the current 6 or so resident chaplains.  There are some chaplains that are stationed on a particular floor as well, along with another set of chaplains that deal with palliative care, but that’s another kettle of fish altogether.  Is it inappropriate to refer to palliative care as a “kettle of fish”?  I hope not, but you know there are always going to be people who are offended by something so… insert expletive. 

You may be thinking at this point… “what?  Why?  Why would a moron want to do something like this?”  Great question.  I have no idea.  Actually I do…

The thick of the pandemic.  Lost a patient from Covid Case Investigation work.  Not just a case number.

I had to write an essay.  So, knowing that i am NOT a religious person, how do I write an essay about being a chaplain, with no religious foundation?

What is my faith tradition?  Spiritual tradition: 

1. Catholic High school.  1 year at Catholic College.
2. Studied Buddhism and attended service regularly in Los Angeles (Shin Buddhist)
3. I definitely drank the kool-aid of Improvisational theater.  Don’t underestimate this.  In fact, it probably gave me the most valuable tool in doing some of this work so far.

CLOSE - In conclusion… I hope to be able to provide some insight, some reflections of my experiences and who knows maybe even a guest or two!  I don’t know how long I will be permitted to be a volunteer before they find out I’m a moron and a heathen, but so far it’s been a very positive experience.

Coming up in future Modern Moron episodes, I will be speaking to my college graduate who has a degree in art history, and we will be discussing a VERY interesting 2018 documentary called “The Price of Everything”.  The film features interviews with people prominently involved in contemporary art and the market for it and it is fascinating.  The title of the film comes from a quote from the 1892 Oscar Wilde play “Lady Windermere's Fan”.  The quote is delivered in the film by art collector Stefan Edlis: "There are a lot of people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing".  Chew on that for a while, right?  

Also, in line with The Modern Moron remaining on the cutting edge of technology and pop culture, I just bought an air fryer and I simply must tell you about my favorite dishes.  

Until next time, thank you for listening to The Modern Moron, please forward this episode to someone you think would like it, or to someone you think would hate it as a joke.  Thanks.