Social dancing with social anxiety.

Social dancing with social anxiety.

 

I will say this, in my youth, I would definitely take a shot or two before a class and also before a dance social. And I would also take another shot maybe midway through the night. I would keep a bottle of warm liquor In my trunk at all times. Say/Think what you will.

 

If you dance class has a social after the class, if you are not comfortable with socializing you can just dance. You don't HAVE to socialize if you don't feel up to that. You can keep it simple as "Do you want to Dance?" And "thank you!" after the dance is done.

If you hate small talk, dancing gives you a way to socialize without forcing you into conversations with people.

You can also talk to people during the classes themselves. Introduce yourself and ask how they are doing, nothing else is necessary. Do that with everyone you dance with, and you will start to become more comfortable with everyone. Your ultimate goal is to build a friendship with your dance classmates.

 

You can make every social event a game:
Make it a goal to ask x number of people to dance  per night.
And at least 1 new person every social. This challenges you to meet a stranger, while also challenging you to dance with somebody new. This is a win/win because you level  up your social skills and dancing skills.

 

Also keep in mind, that you are not forced to dance. You can just hang around and watch people dance. Just being in the atmosphere can be a learning environment. You start to pick up on social cues, see new patterns, see whos the experienced dancer’s vs beginners.  Watch the Dancers who you like and look at their timing and styling you'll be surprised how much you can pick up.

Understand that if you are a lead you are expected to ask followers to dance. But that does not mean, followers cannot ask leads. I have never seen a lead tell a follower no. Try to think of it like this, You are not approaching a stranger, you are approaching someone who came to a dance social because they want to dance. That's the whole point. They are there because they want to be asked to dance. Remember you do not have to be Mr. Sauvé or give your life story. Just give simple eye contact and say, would you like to dance?

 

I have been dancing for close to 9-10 years, and I still get anxious nervous asking someone to dance. More so the first time. The first time asking someone to dance that night, is the most nerve wrecking, but after that it becomes easier.  

 

When in doubt, ask the teacher to dance, they should always be in a good mood and eager to dance with their students.

Also ask the Instructor about other dance events throughout the week. The more you go to dance events, the better you become and the more comfortable you become.

Social dancing is a skill like any other. You're going to have to push through the awkward experiences in order to build a proper skill set.

 

 

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