UI 062: Why Do We Hate for No Reason? And What Can We Do About It?

 

Francesco Hayez [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.  The destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem.

Is the world catching fire or is it simply back to normal?  For most of human history mankind has narrowly survived.  Sure some individuals thrived as rulers, but the general populations suffered for their benefit.  Whether it was us killing each other, or disease, or the environment... It seems like mankind survived by some miracle or chance opportunity.  Then, there were brief moments of promise which seems to have culminated in the rise of the idea that is America.

Suddenly with America, man had the most liberty ever in history.  Yes, America was/is imperfect but it is still the best hope for the world.  It is not about the land, or the people, but rather the ideas which have made and can continue to make America exceptionally good (i.e. Declaration of Independence, a constitutionally limited government, and the American Trinity "Liberty, E Pluribus Unum, and IN GOD WE TRUST").

The freedoms of America allowed innovation and production by diverse people with an incredible range of knowledge and abilities.  Yes, there have been primitive cultures who were technologically advanced... but 1) primarily the elite benefited from the technology, and there was rarely an opportunity of the workers to benefit 2) many cultures were specialized in their technology and lacked the variety 3) most cultures were solely focused on material advancement, while America has been focused on material and immaterial advancement (i.e. abolition of slavery, equal rights, voting rights, etc.) and  4) other advanced cultures simply wanted to conquer less advantaged cultures, while America has used its advancement to benefit others.

America not only advanced technologically, but morally as well.  America was once a force fighting for goodness and liberty.  America was not going to be an isolationist or colonialist empire, rather America was going to be a liberating force for good beyond her own land.  Europe, Japan, and South Korea all ultimately benefited from America's victories in their wars.  Now things seem to be going back to normal.

Another World War, epidemic disease, economic collapse, and even Biblical prophesy are actual news topics today.  In looking for a movie to watch the other night, my wife and I previewed a bunch of trailers and it seemed like 80% were either apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic based stories.  I am not sure if this current Zeitgeist has always been lurking in the deep waters of our culture, or if it is returning after a brief hiatus.   Either way, many people are fearful, faithless, and totally uncertain.  And all of that is very understandable. It is very easy to lose perspective about our own lives, our own futures, and our own state of minds.  Worse, people are more divided amongst themselves than they have been in many years.  And even more tragic, is what this division brings with it.

And I think this divisiveness is a root to many of our problems.

Why do people fight?

Why do people hurt one another?

When I read stories of terror or listen to the horrors of a Holocaust survivor I question "How can someone act that evil?  Why did they do that?"

James Tissot [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons Artist vision of the 2nd Temple before destruction

In thinking about Tisha B'Av (9th of Av,which this year begins the evening of Aug 4, 2014 - On that day throughout Jewish history: 12 scouts calumny about the land of Israel, 1st Temple destroyed, 2nd Temple destroyed, destruction of Betar, and further destruction of Temple site... And then there have been more post Biblical tragedies associated with this day: Initiation of first crusade, Jews expelled from England, Jews expelled from France, Jews expelled from Spain, WW1 began, approval of "Final Solution" in Nazi Germany, mass deportation of Warsaw ghetto began, and as recently as 1994 there was the bombing at a Jewish Community Center in Buenos Aires), I am reminded of what the rabbis of the Talmud famously said regarding the destruction of the Second Temple on the 9th of Av 70 CE. The Temple was destroyed because of “sinat chinam.” literally "free hatred", or hatred for no reason.

What do they mean by "sinat chinam"?  Literally it can mean "free hatred", but it is commonly understood as "baseless hatred" or "hatred for no reason."  Fascinating that the Sages would point to that as the reason for destruction.  By the way, the hatred was in reference to each other... Jew hating Jew.  What happened?  Why would that cause our destruction?  Haven't we always argued and quarreled as a nation?

Well I think there is tremendous insight into the Sinat Chinam theory.  First of all, if there is "hatred for no reason", then there should also be in contrast "hatred for good reason" ("sinat sachar").  There are way to many baseless reasons people hate someone (i.e. skin color, religion, finance, etc.), but what are legitimate reasons to hate?

The primary reason one person could legitimately hate another is due to evil actions.  Now how one person defines evil and another defines evil will be subjective (as not everyone recognizes the one objective morality from the one God who is the author of morality... which I have discussed at length in previous podcasts.)  Regardless, the only hatred for good reason would be due to evil acts.  The good person should hate the evil actions of another person.  And to the extent that one person is categorized as "good" due to their behavioral account, so to someone else may be labeled "evil" due to their behavior account.

If you don't think a person should ever be labeled as "evil" due to their behavior, then you should be consistent and hold that no other person is "good" due to their behavior.  By that rationale, Hitler was as good or evil as Mother Theresa.  Or, the wife and mother who takes care of her dying husband and autistic child while keeping a smile on her face is morally equivalent to the the mother who drowns her children and accuses her husband.

So assuming some people are evil and we are justified in our hatred of them, then how do rationalize our baseless hatred.

Just because the Rabbis speak of baseless hatred 2000 years ago does not mean it no longer exists.  It still exists within the Jewish nation, and seemingly every other nation as well.  Not only within a people, but more the baseless hatred is directed outside their own.

Why?

Why does a person do this?  Why does a nation do this?

In studying "Heichaltzu" (a maamar from 'Rashab', which as of the podcast and this transcript I have yet to complete and fully understand) I began to grasp a better understanding of why we do this.

The simple and short answer is the term "yeshus."

From Chabad.org, an excerpt from The Second Ladder Up:

The Hebrew word “yeshus” is a concept in Torah difficult to define and translate. The word connotes a perverse sense of self, an over-embellished focus on one’s needs to the exclusion of those of others, feelings of inflated centrality. The word describes an exaggerated sense of ego and heightened self importance.

This ego and self important attitude is a chief reason why baseless hatred occurs.

If one person can't stand another person for no real reason, it is because their ego sees their Self as better, superior, or more significant than the other person.  Not only that, their ego is directing their mind to find all the differences between their Self and every other self that exists.

Divisiveness becomes the mode of operation for the person whose mind is driven by "yeshus".  Every person who is not themselves or within their own venn diagram of life is the "other."  Their ego only sees the differences between their Self and every other person.

Understanding that state of mind you can see how some one can easily go from view another person as not only "different", but worse inferior, or even worse non-human.  Once that happens, evil actions are inevitably going to occur.

So whether it was tribes in Africa who saw each other as the "other", or the Nazi's against the Jews, or North Korea versus South Korea, all one needs to understand is that once a person, or people see themselves as inherently different from another, then the hostilities and warring can began.

And of course, this happens within a people as well.  The Jews hated each other for no real reason at the end of the Second Temple, and today many American's hate one another because of politics.  America is more divided today, than any other time in my lifetime and perhaps my parents lifetime.  Thankfully, the hatred is confined to words and emotions.  But we are in a Cold Civil War nonetheless.  We should learn from history and understand that baseless hatred does not end well for anyone.

So what is the solution?

If baseless hatred is caused by the self-important ego's intellectual determination that "I" am different from "you", then we must find the antidote.  The antidote is based on the same poison... the intellect.  Yes, the intellect is correct in determining one person is in many ways different from another person, but the intellect can be used further to realize that in other ways one person is exactly like another.

How we are different is self evident, but how are we exactly the same?

The simple spiritual answer is we are all created in the Lord's image.  Every person is a spark of the Divine.  Every person comes from the same exact Divine origin.  Spiritually speaking we are all connected and entwined leading back to the same exact Source.

Imagine someone upsets your ego (e.g. they cut you off in traffic).  Your ego could get you irate enough to act hateful towards that person, or  humility could take over and help your mind further realize that person was made by the same Creator as you.  Would that cause you to think and act different?

Maybe you are not spiritual, as I was not for many years.  So how else are exactly the same?

Life.  We are both trying to get through this human life and all the problems associated with it.  Do you realize that your life and problems are not unique to you in essence?  Yes you have specific people, job, or circumstances to your problems, but everyone has problems to one degree or another.  Our problems are not the same, but we are all the same in that our lives have myriad problems.

What if you were to imagine what problems that driver who cut you off may be facing?  Would that change your behavior?

Utilizing our intellect to think beyond how we are different from one another and realizing how similar we all are is a key to unlocking the chains of baseless hatred in human civilization.

This is why so many great teachers such as Rabbi Akiva or the Dalai Lama site the idea expressed by God in the Torah "to love the stranger like yourself, I am the Lord."

One way many people read that is that we should feel love for other just like we love our own Self.  That is not wrong, but another understanding (very literal to the Hebrew) is to "love the stranger, who is like you!"

God made us and knows our ego's tendency to divide our Self from other selves.  So, God commands us to think beyond our ego's limits and humbly understand that "the stranger is just like me."  He has wants, desires, pains, and memories just like I do.  He is human, just like me. He is made of Divine sparks, just like me (or star dust if you don't prefer the spiritual stuff.)

This is more than just a good idea, we have a moral obligation to act lovingly towards the "other" with the understanding that the "other" is like myself.

If we cultivate this attitude in ourselves then we may begin to act in baseless love "ahavat chinam" towards each other.  This is doable.  It just takes humility, patience, and understanding.  If a person or culture can go one direction, then why not the other.

Does all this mean that we should be pacifist and never fight? NO.  As I said, if there is illegitimate hatred, then therefore there is legitimate hatred.  We need to be very clear and careful how we understand and combat real evil in this world, but combat evil we must!

For the most part though, many people act hateful towards another for no real reason.  The ego of one person simply fights the ego of another.  Were they to act with humility towards one another an entirely different scenario would play out.

This is the essence of the entire Torah.  We need to utilize our gift of intellect to think past division and into unification.

The Visionary Ezekiel Temple plan drawn by the 19th century French architect and Bible scholar Charles Chipiez [Public domain or Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

As the famous story goes Rabbi Hillel was approached by visitor who mockingly asked the great Rabbi to teach him the Torah while standing on one foot.  Rather than becoming upset with the request, Rabbi Hillel simply answered,

What is hateful to you, do not do to others.  That is the entire Torah.  The rest is commentary.  Now go study

And so impressed was the visitor by Hillel's answer that he actually did take up the study of Torah.

There is much we can learn from teachers like Hillel.  Humility, kindness, and baseless love are a good start.  And all of this is framed in behavior which does not allow us act toward others in ways we would not desire for ourselves.

Here are 7 suggestions for cultivating Ahavat Chinam "Baseless Love":

1. Begin each morning affirming your moral obligation to act lovingly towards others, and understand they are like you
2. Follow Hillel’s golden rule: “If you would NOT like it done to you, do NOT do it to someone else.”
3. Avoid evil speech and gossip. Speak only good about others. Don’t even listen to a bad word, unless some real benefit will come through your conversation.
4. Care for other's property and possessions as you care for your own.
5. Always be on the lookout for opportunities to do someone else favor.
6. Bring people together. Tear down the false barriers of age, affiliation, and "race".
7. Study God's word and invite others to study as well.  The Torah is available to all who seek it.