UI 065: Violence

***WARNING***

This Podcast is about violence and so I used some graphic language in describing violence, and some of that has been transcribed in this blog.

 

What do you think about violence?

Let me paint a picture for you and you can think about it.

Imagine a young single mother has just put her child down for an afternoon nap.  She makes a snack and sits to relax and watch some television.  As she is sitting on her couch in her apartment, her door is kicked open and a strange man comes in and begins beating her senselessly.  As she screams for her life, the man shoves a screw driver into her throat.

At this point the story gets worse because now the man hears the crying child and heads towards her room.  But I can't go there without getting physically ill.

This story makes you sick as well right?

It's a gruesome and disturbing scenario.

(NOTE: If that does not disturb you... then you should really seek some professional help. Seriously.)

But why does this make us sick?  Is it the violence?

Let's see.

Now I want you to imagine the same young mother doing the same daily things. And the same man busting into her apartment.  But this time she throws her entire bodyweight into kicking the man in his testicles, causing one to rupture.  As he buckles in pain, she scrapes her thumbs across the man's nose plunging her her thumbs into his eye sockets.  As he screams and attempts to break her grip, our young mom sees the screw driver she had just used to fix her daughter's toy.  She picks it up and repeatedly drives it into the man's neck and eye until he stops.  She and her daughter are safe, and the cops are dealing with what's left of the criminal.

How does that make you feel?

I don't know about you, but I'm cheering for this young single mom in the second scenario and glad the criminal was thoroughly defeated.

Why?

Similar violence occurred, if not worse in the second scenario.

So it's not the violence that bothers us.

It is EVIL.  Evil, asocial violence, makes us cringe.  Sociopaths, rapists, dictators, murders, kidnappers, all the evil behaviors that people do that cause us to worry about our own safety or the safety of our loved ones disturbs us.

And the only way to stop EVIL is to fight it, relentlessly.

One way to do so is through violence.

Violence is just a tool.

Yes, a tool... just like a hammer.

A hammer is a tool and can be used to build magnificent structures when wielded by someone who is intent to build with it, or it can be a destructive tool when a demolition crew is intent on destroying.  The hammer is neither good nor bad... it is just an instrument - a tool.

But maybe you argue I'm over simplifying it.  You argue, violence is more complicated and esoteric. It's not a simple material tool like a hammer.  Okay then let's compare it to the act of sexual intercourse.  Done in one scenario sex is "love making" and commendable.  But done in a totally different scenario it is "rape" and detestable.   Same basic action with very different results.

Violence done to stop evil is good, courageous, and commendable.
Violence done with mal intent is evil, cowardly, and must be stopped.

CONTEXT MATTERS!  The context of the violence makes all the difference.

Trust me, how you think about violence will make all the difference if you were to unfortunately find yourself attacked.  Most people will not get violent even when threatened with death, let alone pain or fear.  Why because while they may try to defend themselves, they won't allow themselves to get brutally violent like the mom I described.

Am I promoting violence?  Yes BUT only when it is absolutely necessary.

I hate seeing the bumper sticker "War is not the answer."  No, if the question is "what is 2+2?" or "What do you when you're driving and someone cuts you off?".. Then war is not the answer.  But when war is the answer - IT IS THE ONLY ANSWER!  "How do we stop Nazi's from murdering millions?" Answer: Victory through WAR and only WAR!

Same is true with real violence.  No, violence is not ALWAYS the answer.  But when brutal, overwhelming violence is the answer - it is the ONLY ANSWER!

That is why this is an ultimate issue.

I am passionate about people understanding violence.  We need to understand that it can be done to any of us, and any of us can have a fighting chance if we do violence back.  The more targeted and overwhelming our violence is the better our chances of survival.

Seriously folks, with what is going on the world I want to do what I can to at least break the trance many people are in and help them understand the necessary usefulness of violence for your own survival.

Don't let violence just happen to you and overwhelm you.  Get prepared and train yourself to be the one who will overwhelm your attacker with devastating violence.

I am not saying you need to go sign up for martial arts or Krav Maga.  Believe me, I've been fighting and doing martial arts since I was a kid.  In a truly violent situation martial arts will often get you killed.

Why?

One they train in a social setting, using antisocial violent scenarios, and using non-injurious or life threatening techniques.

Sticking your thumb through a man's eye and digging it out is not a technique you will find in 99.9% of dojos or training halls.

Why?

Well, first of all if you are training at a dojo or dedicated training space they need to make rent and pay themselves.   Training folks how to dismember and cause serious injury due to grotesque actions is not good for business.  That's why people like me train people privately or due seminars.  (You can keep reading as I have no seminar to plug and I am not accepting any new clients... this is not an advertisement!)

No, if you want to have fun, learn some super cool techniques, earn a belt, or fight in a cage...  MMA or whatever you do is great... BUT it will leave you terribly prepared for real violence or worse...  It will cause you to engage in a situation you have no business being in.

I have seen this more often than I'd like to say.

Example:

Some college guys are out having some drinks in Austin, TX.  After shooting some pool they are ready to go home, but one guy is chatting up a girl.   Of course, the girl's boyfriend catches this and heads over.  Now our college friend and his buddies all train in MMA (shoot fighting specifically - this was in the late '90's).  Plus, they are all very well built and pretty big guys in general.  The boyfriend however is a short, slight hispanic.

After a very brief exchange of obscenities, the guy hustling up the girlfriend takes a swing and hits the little Mexican.  Then all hell breaks loose.

The boyfriend who was just hit was a coke dealer and a gang member.  Some of his gang friends were there as well.  As you can guess, they all joined in for a game they are familiar with but our young college boys had never played.

I'm not going to go into graphic detail but knives, pool balls, and bottles were used on one side while the other tried to fight the only way they could imagine - fair.

Smash cut to the end.  Police arrive, but the gang members had already left.  Our college guys survived, but were severely injured and taken to the hospital.  I don't know anything more than that.

My point?

1. Martial Arts training gives many people a false sense of power and security.
2. The violent attacker doesn't need any training to be highly effective against a trained combatant.
3. Most people don't really understand how fast violence can escalate and become lethal.

With the high tension I am seeing in people, I wanted to issue a warning and get folks thinking a second time regarding violence.

Whether or not you are trained does not matter.   Your physical size does not matter.  Your abilities do not matter.

Not to sound corny, but what really matters is your MIND.  Your mind matters because that is the one thing that will determine whether or not you will act with such terrifying force that you throw your entire being into a man's eyeball.  Our minds truly are our most powerful weapons.  They can come up with all kinds of violence.

Criminals and terrorists do it all the time.  If you want to have a fighting chance you need to allow your mind to get violent as well.  Done in the right context, violence is the key to survival.  Remember, violence is just a tool.  And used properly it can save your life and the lives of other good people.

If you think, "I could never shove my finger into the eye of another man and dig it out as he screams in terror and pain."  Then, my question is "What if you knew that guy had a gun and was intent on shooting you and then raping your wife and daughter as you lay there bleeding out on the floor, helpless to do anything for them?"  Sadly and tragically, that is how certain evil animals disguised as humans act in our world.

Again, to be clear!

I am only speaking of using violence when it is absolutely necessary.  And when violence is necessary it is the only solution.

Before you write and ask "How will I know?"  Let me relate something I learned from Tim Larkin and Chris Ranck-Buhr.  They had the best answer I've heard when asked about this.  Here are two example scenarios to practice:

1. “The drunk just flipped me off and told me to F*** myself, so then I took my thumb and I dug his eyeball right out of his skull.”
2. “As I turned, the gangbanger stabbed me, cutting me in the ribs, so then I took my thumb and I dug his eyeball right out of his skull.” 

Seems simple and obvious, correct?  Use some common sense and know that most situations are antisocial situations where people are being rude, discourteous, and/or narcissistic.  On the tragically unfortunate and hopefully rare occurrence there are asocial situations where a violent criminal has no care for social norms, standards, rules, or any regard for your life or welfare.

Most violent situations were antisocial violence and originate with words or posturing.  They are AVOIDABLE, and should be avoided.  Just use what ever social tools you have to avoid it, swallow your pride, and walk away (though stay ready.)  Antisocial violence is usually loud, dramatic, and draws a crowd.  School yard fights are anti-social violence.  School yard shootings however are A-social violence.

In asocial violence, the violence is unavoidable.  You have no vote whether or not violence is going to occur... It's going to occur regardless.  There is no negotiating.  Talking your way out of a asocial violence will be as effective as talking your way out of moving bullet heading for your brain matter.

Quote from the podcast:

Negotiating with a serial killer is like arguing with a bullet: if it’s coming your way, words are not going to deflect it. If someone has decided to stab you to death, capitulation only makes their work easier.

~ Tim Larkin, Chris Ranck-Buhr

I assume if you listen to a podcast like Ultimate Issues or read these show notes and transcripts then you are probably not the kind of person who thinks violently.  But when it's necessary you must.  You have a choice of whether you will simply allow violence to be done to you, or you can be the one doing the violence to your opponent.  It is a choice you can make and an ultimate issue you should think about.

As I said in the podcast I have more opinions and information regarding the issue of violence so this is just part one for now.   If you have more interest, I am including some links to help further articulate the message.

Some links from mentions in Podcast:

5 Second Survival Free Membership

Defining Violence

Target Focus Training

TFT Book  (if nothing else... start by reading this)
Warning: Graphic Video of what violence looks like:

And Here is an example of someone good using violence.