Things I’ve Learned in 42 Years | 147

Today is my 42nd birthday and while most of the time I have NO idea what I’m doing, today I’m sharing 42 things I’ve learned in 42 years!

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Hello, everybody. If you know me at all, then you know that I live for my birthday purely because of getting to sing the it smell birthday song from Thor, Ragnarok, which I will leave linked down below if you have not heard it. But yes, today is my birthday. I'm actually recording this a little ahead of time.

 

So it's not my birthday yet, but when you hear this, it will be my 42nd birthday. And so today, My myself, Cindy Guentert-Baldo. I'm going to be leaving you with 42 pieces of wisdom things I've learned in the past 42 years that I thought would be interesting to pass on. Some may be fun. Some may be deep, some may be obvious, but yes, 42 things I have learned in 42 years starting right about me.

 

Number one wear sunscreen. Even if you don't plan on going outside, make sure it goes on the back of your ears. Make sure it goes down your neck. Make sure it goes behind your ears. If you wear your hair up in a ponytail, make sure it goes on the back of your neck. Don't neglect your hands. Sunscreen. My dudes so important.

 

Number two stretchy jeans can save you from an accident. If you have mom, bladder, kidney disease, and a sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I swear if I don't have to pee. And then I'm within like sneezing distance of a bathroom, suddenly my bladder goes into overdrive. And sometimes unbuttoning your flight takes too long.

 

So there is magic in stretchy jeans when you are basically running to the bathroom to try and not pee your pants. And I know you're like, but Cindy, what about using like the ask asked it gasket the toilet cover no dudes there isn't time for that. If I'm trying not to pee, I will just have to live with like squirrely fucking.

 

Stuff on my butt cheeks, because it's better that than the PB in my pants. Number three, plastic glasses, frames, beat metal glasses frames any day of the week and twice on Sunday, especially if you're allergic to nickel, both because I've known. At least in my experience with metal glasses frames that they snap in the middle way more often, my dad used to solder my fucking glasses together in high school.

 

The other thing is that if you're allergic to nickel and you have metal frames, like the bows of your glasses are metal. If they rub on your face, you will get the worst fucking rash that then develops into like an open situation. It's awful. And the way we dealt with that was paint my glasses. Clear nail Polish, except that also wears off.

 

And then the situation happens again. I used to think plastic glasses were heinous because the first pair I ever had made me look like Sally, Jesse Raphael when I was a fucking fourth grader. And now I'm like plastic glasses all the way there. They're the best of right. Nothing's going to ever give me a goddamn nickel allergy reaction on the side of my face when I have to wear them to see, I sound like I'm ranting.

 

I'm not ranting. And these are just things I've learned. I swear. If you're going to be prone to impulse shopping, if impulse shopping is something that you, you, you tend to do on a regular basis, steer clear of trader Joe's during the holiday season. I'm not even going to talk about how I got suckered in this year.

 

And I used to work there and I know better number five. And this is one that I learned after being kind of a douche and unknowing douche, but a douche nonetheless, don't wear perfume to acquire. Or to anywhere where you're, I mean, I know this is pandemic time. We're not really standing in like close quarters with anyone right now, but you never know who you're going to trigger with like a heavy scent and inquire, especially when you're breathing in like large gulps of breath while you're singing.

 

The worst thing is to trigger an asthma situation or something with somebody. So just skip the perfume on choir rehearsal days. Number six. Some sushi restaurants are more heavy on the wasabi when they make their new Geary. So then the Gary is like the piece of rice at the chunk of little, little, little rice situational.

 

Bundle. And then there's a piece of fish on top. Right. And what they do is they use a little bit of a Sabi to kind of like glue the fish to the rice, but it also adds flavor. Well, the place we used to go to didn't use very much wasabi. So I didn't even know there was wasabi there. Good with spicy things.

 

We went to a different restaurant where they used a lot more with Sabi, and I thought somehow my rice had been dipped in chemicals and I was freaking out only to find out no, there was just more wasabi. So just know that someplace, if you think your, your new Geary's tasting a little off and you're not used to the wasabi, that's probably it.

 

Of course it also might be the fish being gross. So keep an eye out for that. Number seven, getting into arguments while driving makes that argument way more intense than it needs to. I don't think I have to say any more for that. I think that is self-explanatory number eight. The most important part of a relationship is communication.

 

Not sexual energy, not things you have in common, not. Any of that shit it's communication because there are days when there isn't going to be any sexual energy. And there are days when you're not going to be feeling very into anything. But if you are able to communicate how you're feeling with the person or people that you're in a relationship with, whether it's romantic or it's platonic communication is the thing that keeps relationships going.

 

Communication can help you with apologizing. It can help you with explaining yourself all sorts of things. So if you're going to work on developing anything in a relationship that you really want to solidify, the communication is a big piece of that. And that's something that I have learned in recent years, and I am so grateful to have learned it and to be with somebody who not only is good at communicating themselves, but as good at helping me communicate when I'm not in a good communicating space, which is pretty much anytime I'm upset.

 

Number nine when somebody tells you who they are, believe them. Now, this applies not only to assholes is assholey around the internet, but this also applies to people who are telling you their pronouns or their gender identity or their sexuality fucking believe them. Don't tell them it's a phase. Don't think it's a phase.

 

Just believe them until they tell you otherwise. And they may never tell you otherwise because they may, this is my, this is who they are. And as a side note to that, This shit is fluid people evolve. They change, they come to greater understandings of who they are, and if somebody tells you their pronouns or something one day, and then later on, they adapt or.

 

They grow, they change. Those are none of those are really great words for this, but they like, they come to fuller understanding of who they are and their pronouns might change. That doesn't mean it was a phase. It means they came to a fuller understanding and you should celebrate that. I have no patience for people who take issue with people's that gender identity or pronouns number 10, any cuss word can be better by adding on E R Y fuckery.

 

Bullshittery all sorts of shit. Like. Yeah, yeah. Country. Oh yeah. That's good too. Yeah. Dickery wankery. Yeah, just keep trying at T just do it. My husband thinks I am whack as fuck, but I tell him that some Whakarae to accuse me of that. Number 11, finding a physical activity that doesn't hurt and is at least somewhat fun.

 

Can like exercise a little less annoying. I am not saying you might enjoy it. I don't fully enjoy exercising, but when I find things that I actually. Like find a little fun and they don't make me feel like, I mean, they might make me feel in pain in the sense that I worked out, but not like causing me joint pain or like problems with my kidneys or whatever, finding something that does it suck ass for me.

 

And doesn't like actively make me hurt. It does have. Now, I'm not going to say that exercise is never going to be a, not annoying for me. Right? Like I'm not somebody who probably will ever love exercise, but I have found exercise that I can do on a somewhat regular basis because it met those qualifications number 12.

 

And I'm saying this with my own personal experience on both ends of the spectrum, ex smokers are probably the most judgy people at current smokers. It's, I don't understand it. If your next smoker, you know how hard it was to quit, like give him a fucking break. Jesus. And I used to be that judgy. I'm not that judge yet.

 

Number 14 toddler feet look like little pork chops with toes. If you know a toddler or like a nine month old baby in your life, look at their feet. Pork chops with toes. Swear to God. It's, you know, they're getting older when the pork chop with till phenomenon goes away. Yeah. That's, that's a sad moment.

 

Number 15 speaking of babies, don't spend hella money on cute baby clothes. Whether you are somebody who is pregnant, somebody who is adopting somebody, who's going to become a parent for the first time of a baby shaped child, somebody who is giving gifts to somebody else who is going to become a parent.

 

Don't spend hella money on cute baby clothes. They're going to grow out of them before they ever come close to being worn out or even worn at all. They're going to puke all over them. Who explosions at the back of their diaper, just spend money on bulk  bulk little sleepers, things that they can wear that are inexpensive, and that you can just throw a bunch of them in the washer because these babies go through way more clothes in terms of growing fast.

 

And in terms of grossing them out, like babies can be changed multiple times a day when they're little purely because of how nasty they are. If you spend hella money on cute baby clothes, you're doing it for the fucking gram. Even if you don't know that you're doing it for the. There's other things to spend money on for babies like diapers seriously.

 

And I guess to complete this little trifecta of baby related things, although to be fair, I can't remember. I might have more pop up later, regardless. Number 16, never for the love of all that's holy assume someone is pregnant and say something about it ever. I don't care if the baby is coming out of.

 

Don't fucking say anything until they say something first, because it fucking sucks to be asked when you're do, when you've just given birth three days ago, and you still look six months pregnant because that's the thing nobody warns you about. Or when you have polycystic kidney disease and you look fucking pregnant, but what you're pregnant with is diseased ass fucking kidneys, or maybe somebody who just happens to have a belly and isn't trying to get pregnant or somebody who happens to have a.

 

Is trying to get pregnant and having trouble with it. Just don't do it. Don't do it. I don't understand why people think that's a good idea. And as a bonus for this one also don't touch people's pregnant bellies without permission. And I'm hoping that this has died off because of COVID. But if it hasn't, oh my God fucking don't touch someone unless they let you touch them.

 

They give you permission. Oh my God. Sorry. Number 17. If your vacuum is not sucking well, but heal and you live with any sort of long-haired people or pets, check the brush to see how much of a furball has grown there. I swear, I am logging. Everyone in our house is lawn care. The only people that aren't long haired are the pets.

 

They're not people, you know what I mean? And Lucy's getting super plush because of the winter. And yet I still get like question mark Pekichu face when I try to vacuum. And the vacuum is not sucking as much as it should. And then Jesse will flip it over and get his razor blade out and cut the giant furball off of it just as.

 

That's probably the first thing you should check. There may be problems with the vacuum, but there's always a chance that a giant fucking Tribble has grown inside of your vacuum cleaner. It needs to be removed, and I'm not going to do the removing because it grosses me out to touch it. But Jesse does.

 

Thankfully communication is the key to any successful relationship. Number 18 salt, your pasta water. One pinch is not enough salt. You want to add quite a bit of salt to really add the flavor to the pasta. I'm going to caveat this with, I'm supposed to start reducing the amount of salt I'm cooking with.

 

So this pains me to say, but it actually is true. Like salting your pasta water really does help number 19, and this may be a personal opinion, but I don't think I've met anybody in recent years who disagrees with me? Red apples, red delicious apples are the worst apples. I don't understand the point of red delicious apples besides being nasty.

 

And on that note, number 20. Swiss cheese is the red apple of cheese. Fight me on that. Number 21. Earplugs can be a godsend. If you sleep with somebody who snores, just get this mushy ones. If you have the harder ones, they're uncomfortable. I swear your ears will not envelop this mushy ones. This mushy ones can be comfortable and they also can just save your sanity.

 

If you were having trouble sleep. Also, if you're happy, if you sleep with somebody who snores have no problems, shaking them and waking them up to get them to change their position often that'll help too. But earplugs man, they help. Number 22, grease two is the superior grease. End of story. I can go on an entire podcast about this, but I'm not going to right now.

 

Number 23, the sniff method of checking on. Yeah, it can be necessary. Right. But it is always risky. Know what risks you're taking when you do the sniff test of laundry, especially, especially if it is not your laundry. And it is the laundry of your 15 year old son, number 24. If you have gas, I'm not taking my car gas and talking about, you know, the gas that makes you go fart in your stomach area, in your abdomen.

 

And it's not moving. Get on your hands and knees and stick your butt up in the air. You may look ridiculous. And if you do this in front of teenagers, they will laugh at you, but it will help the farts move. I promise you. It also helps us sciatica 25 and I have not tested this. So this is allegedly, but the internet did tell me that if you have the hiccups, you can stop them by sticking a finger up your ass.

 

I have not tested this to be clear, I have done the eat a spoonful of sugar, and that is sometimes helped, but apparently sticking your finger up your ass can help with the hiccups. If this has ever worked for you. Let me know. I promise to keep you anonymous. This number 26. When someone asks you, if you want to see something.

 

Think long and hard about your answer before you open your mouth, don't do what I've done and say. Sure. And then regret it instantly. Number 27. If you are a person who menstruates always, always carry something with you, because even if you don't need it, someone else might, and you could totally do them a solid.

 

Number 28. If you have a headache, drink some water, it might help the headache. You might be dehydrated. And if not getting more hydrated is always a good thing, but drink some water. Number 29 when it comes to kiddies, the belly is always a trap, unless it isn't. But I would suggest to err, on the side of the belly being a trap, number 30 ask before hugging someone.

 

Don't just hug them. But number 31, if they do say you can hug them, make sure to hug them. Like you mean it don't give them any like namby, pamby hugs, give them like a good solid hug. It, you could make their day. Number 32. You will never change someone to be what you want them to be. And you should never change who you are to be someone that someone else wants you to be.

 

It's. So don't try embrace people for who they are or move on. Number 33, no one likes being evangelized at regardless of what the subject is. I I'm aware that this might feel like an evangelizing podcast for things that I've learned in 42 years, but let's be realistic. Nobody wants to be evangelized to nobody.

 

It fucking sucks, dude. Don't do that. Number 34 online fandom online fan communities can be both amazing. Awful. That can be both. They can be both sides of the coin and sometimes they can change from one to the other, in the blink of an eye. I've seen that recently. And it's just something to be aware of.

 

You might have a community that is beloved to you, an online fan community. And one thing, one piece of media, one comment, one, something can fuck the whole thing up and it's sad and it sucks. But unfortunately that seems to be the life cycle of online. Number 35. And this is something that has become much more present in my life since moving to Denver, but nothing beats a good non-greasy hella hardcore hand cream, number 36, let people like what they like, unless of course what they like is actively harmful.

 

But generally speaking, just let people like things. Don't tell them why, what they like sucks. Number 36. White Zinfandel over ice during the summer is classy as fuck. And I will not hear otherwise. Number 38, if you're going to take a nap don't nap for too long, because it usually doesn't end out well, like usually feel like crap afterwards.

 

Number 39. Reading for pleasure is just that don't judge people's non-harmful reading choices. Let them take pleasure in what works for them. They don't have to read a certain kind of literature, a certain kind of book, a certain kind of non non-fiction book. I've seen people say that reading fiction. For losers.

 

I've seen people say that reading, why is for losers? No, just let people read what they like. If they're reading for pleasure and good for them. If they'll listen to audio books, because that's what they prefer, then good for them. And if they actually don't like to read and they prefer to consume their storytelling or their information in a different way than good for them to my God, I guess this goes back to let people like what they like number 40 Play-Doh does not taste as good as it smells.

 

Number 41, Bri tastes way better than it smells. Uh, number 42, the last one on this list. And in my mind, probably the most important one. Tell the people that you love, that you love them often. You never know when you might not get that chance. Again, I'm going to repeat that one. Tell the people that you love, that you love them as often as you can, because you do not know when you won't be able to anymore.

 

That's actually something I learned 20 some odd years ago, but it continually replays out in my life. So I had to add that one and make you all sad. But I'd love to know from you in the comments, any of these surprise you did any of the do disagree with any of these. Let me know. You can tag me at Lama letters on Instagram stories and let me know.

 

I'd love to find out in the meantime though, a thank you for being here on my birthday. It's my birthday. B, thanks to my patrons for sponsoring this episode and everything else I do. You can check them out at www.patreon.com/cindyguentertbaldo to find out more. And finally you rock. Thanks for being here with me.

 

And I look forward to having some more turns around the sun with you. Peace out friends.