Mini-Episode 12#: Use DISC to Fix Holiday Stress

[00:00:00] Suzie : welcome to this wake up eager workforce podcast mini episode where we share in 10 minutes or less our monthly article from LinkedIn in a new audio format courtesy of our AI co host as they walk through the article and share additional insights exclusively for you I am Susie Price I'm your podcast host and the founder of Priceless Professional Development and whether you're listening to one of our long form episodes or something like this mini episode our focus is always to provide everything to you related to helping employees in your organization build a high commitment low drama wake up eager workforce we're focused on creating great hiring creating great teams helping leaders and individuals wake up eager you can find all of our episodes long form and short form at Wake Up Eager workforce.com and you can subscribe anywhere that you get your podcasts so let me know if you have any questions if you are enjoying these mini episodes or any of our other episodes or if I can help you in any way you can find me at Susie at priceless professional. com Susie Price on LinkedIn and of course our contact information if you go to wake up eager workforce.com thanks for tuning in appreciate you very much and go out and have a wake up eager kind of day take care

[00:01:24] A1 : let's be honest for a second for all the hype the holiday season can sometimes feel less like a break and more like a high stakes pressure cooker hey definitely you're juggling family dynamics trying to manage expectations and scrambling to find that one perfect gift that just screams I get you

[00:01:40] A2 : that annual stress is so real and you know the sources we've gathered suggest that a lot of these problems from gift anxiety to arguments over who does what they're really just rooted in miscommunication

[00:01:53] A1 : exactly so our mission today is to do a deep dive into an insight that could be your shortcut to a well a much smoother season

[00:02:02] A2 : we're gonna look at a really effective framework for understanding people it's called the d I s C model

[00:02:06] A1 : and this isn't about you know diagnosing your relatives it's just about observing behavior and understanding what actually motivates them especially when things get stressful

[00:02:15] A2 : precisely d I s C stands for Dominance Influence Steadiness and compliance it's just a smart way to cateagerrize the kinds of behaviors and communication styles you can actually see

[00:02:26] A1 : but what I think is so great about our source material is that it turns this the psychological insight into really practical advice it does yeah the research pulls out five specific tips from the model that tackle the biggest holiday stressors we're talking about strategies for delegating tasks activities to lower stress what gifts to actually wrap up

[00:02:46] A2 : and even how to praise someone in a way that lands and crucially what pitfalls to avoid so you can keep the peace

[00:02:53] A1 : think of this deep dive as like getting the instruction manual for every important person in your life

[00:02:59] A2 : a guide to making sure that when you give a gift or just have a conversation you're actually meeting one of their core needs

[00:03:06] A1 : okay so before we jump into the applications we really need to slow down and nail the foundation here right I think a common mistake is just memorizing the letter we need to understand the you know the engine that's driving each style why are they acting that way

[00:03:19] A2 : that's the most critical piece yeah if you only look at the behavior you completely miss the motivation we're defining these styles by what they seek out and what they're you know fundamentally trying to avoid okay so let's start let's start with the high d for dominance you'll see them as assertive fast paced competitive the go getter the go getter exactly yeah but their core driver is results and control they value competence achievement so their communication needs to be direct quick you want the bottom line they want the bottom line if you start rambling you're wasting their time and that is a major stress trigger for them

[00:03:56] A1 : so when my uncle cuts me off mid sentence it's not necessarily him being rude it's efficiency

[00:04:01] A2 : it's efficiency he's trying to control the pace of the conversation right to get to the result faster exactly okay next up the high eye the influence style they're the friendly enthusiastic fast paced ones who love change the life of the party totally they're fundamentally people focused their driver is recognition and social acceptance

[00:04:22] A1 : so they need to feel liked

[00:04:23] A2 : they need to feel included and valued by the group their core need is simple let them talk let them share their stories they thrive on that positive attention

[00:04:33] A1 : right that's the person who shows up and immediately starts working the room they're literally recharging by being the center of attention even for a moment

[00:04:40] A2 : that's it now moving to the other half we find the high s the steadiness style they're warm patient and they keep a much steadier calmer pace their core driver is security and stability

[00:04:55] A1 : okay so they're the opposite of the high eye in some ways

[00:04:58] A2 : in many ways yes they are loyal but they're deeply resistant to sudden change or conflict they crave harmony

[00:05:05] A1 : so what does that mean for communication it means their primary need is for assurance they need to know that everyone is getting along and that the plan is secure that sounds like a wonderful quality but a chaotic holiday morning must be incredibly stressful for them

[00:05:18] A2 : oh it's brutal they're the human stabilizer but they can burn out so fast if the environment gets too frantic

[00:05:24] A1 : okay and the last one finally

[00:05:25] A2 : the high C compliance they are reserved neat cautious and intensely task focused so their core driver is accuracy and quality they're analytical precise when you communicate with a high C you have to use logic detail all the necessary details because their biggest fear is being wrong or producing something that's substandard

[00:05:49] A1 : wow okay so understanding these core drivers control recognition security and accuracy that's the lens we need to apply to these five tips

[00:05:59] A2 : exactly so let's look at the first two practical applications they're all about activity how you involve people in holiday tasks and how they really unwind

[00:06:07] A1 : this is about meeting their need for either what autonomy or connection that's a great way to put it so let's call the first one the gift of delegation it's giving them a project they'll actually enjoy because it fits their style not just dumping a chore on them

[00:06:20] A2 : right for the dominant style if you want them engaged give them something where they can move fast be in charge and make their own decisions

[00:06:26] A1 : okay so what would that look like

[00:06:28] A2 : the sources strongly suggest getting them involved in competitive family games they need to lead they need to win

[00:06:35] A1 : but what if I say give my high d relative a task like planning the seating chart and I don't agree with what they come up with

[00:06:43] A2 : ah that's where you have to be careful

[00:06:45] A1 : they don't handle interference well

[00:06:47] A2 : not at all the source material implies that for a d style you delegate the outcome not the process give them the goal a perfect seating chart and then you have to step back

[00:06:57] A1 : if I undermine their control

[00:06:59] A2 : you raise their stress levels through the roof yeah immediately got it

[00:07:03] A1 : what about the high eye

[00:07:04] A2 : the influence style should be your social coordinator your cheerleader ask them to help gather people manage the mood but remember they're driver recognition recognition so you have to make time to listen to their ideas and verbally share your appreciation for them loudly

[00:07:22] A1 : they don't want to quite thank you they want applause pretty much

[00:07:24] A2 : now the steady style needs a very different approach if you ask for help you have to provide assurances review instructions clearly and check in often but gently you draw them out right you draw them out by asking personal relational questions their task should be something that builds harmony not creates pressure

[00:07:43] A1 : okay and the C the compliance style

[00:07:46] A2 : this is your detail expert tasks that need focus precision they love that like what assembling that complex new toy managing the high tech home theater or figuring out the you know the detailed instructions for a new gourmet recipe they find calm in complexity

[00:08:03] A1 : that makes so much sense you're giving them the gift of certainty structure exactly now let's pivot to the second activity tip yeah how they should distress when the holiday chaos really hits

[00:08:14] A2 : okay for the dominant style distressing means vigorous competitive activity it's about physically burning off that need for control so like flag football flag football an intense workout or even really goal oriented activities like intense targeted shopping

[00:08:29] A1 : and the influence style they need people

[00:08:31] A2 : they need social replenishment absolutely yeah socializing people oriented fun thing charades organizing a big family video call or even just engaging heavily on social media

[00:08:41] A1 : they recharge by connecting

[00:08:43] A2 : and being affirmed by others okay the steadiness style though needs nothing time they need comfort quiet hot baths predictable yard work or just quiet low demand time with their immediate family

[00:08:56] A1 : they're recovering from the emotional labor of keeping everyone happy

[00:09:00] A2 : 100% yeah and finally the compliance style destresses through thinking activities and alone time so a good book or a complicated strategy video game a personal computer project chess they calm their anxiety about accuracy by immersing themselves in structure and analysis

[00:09:17] A1 : okay let's talk shopping this is where the rubber meets the road for a lot of people listening it is we're connecting those core drivers directly to what you actually wrap up so if I know my relative's DIC style what should I put under the tree

[00:09:30] A2 : the source material has some very clear guidelines on this for the high d dominance remember they value action control and winning

[00:09:39] A1 : so the gift has to mean something

[00:09:41] A2 : it has to signify status or efficiency this means high quality practical things favorite sports gear a really nice executive pen or books and movies about leadership winners business strategy

[00:09:54] A1 : you're not just buying them a book you're buying them access access to mastery or success

[00:10:00] A2 : that's it that is the key psychological difference right there

[00:10:03] A1 : wow okay what about the high I

[00:10:04] A2 : for the high eye the influence style you need something flashy fun and conversational they value experiences they can talk about later

[00:10:12] A1 : ah so not just an object

[00:10:14] A2 : right take him to a high profile restaurant a concert a movie if it is a tangible item it should be unique memorable like that suggestion of a fancy light up pen or books about psychology motivating themes quote books they can share

[00:10:28] A1 : it's the gift that keeps on giving because they get to use it to create conversation and get more recognition

[00:10:33] A2 : exactly now the high s the steadiness style is driven by security family tradition

[00:10:38] A1 : so their gifts should feel like a warm hug

[00:10:41] A2 : yes comfort home relaxation gardening tools high quality bath soaps candles a personalized photo frame perfect and books books and magazines should focus on family home life gardening anything that reinforces their inner circle and stability

[00:10:56] A1 : simple comforting and traditional so no sudden surprising gadgets for the s style

[00:11:01] A2 : probably not a good idea and finally the high C the compliance style right

[00:11:07] A1 : they need quality

[00:11:08] A2 : because they're driven by accuracy and quality the gift has to be technical precise or highly informational so we're talking high quality tools for cooking or a craft digital gadgets that help with data or precision

[00:11:22] A1 : or non fiction books

[00:11:24] A2 : yes on topics like economics consumer reports the law or complex do it yourself projects

[00:11:30] A1 : I think this is a really crucial point if you buy a high C a digital gadget it can't just be trendy no it has to be functional and high quality it has to allow them to measure or analyze something a vague gift certificate might feel like a low effort gift to them

[00:11:44] A2 : which violates their quality standards absolutely no the gift has to serve their need for accuracy and control if it's a complex they see it as a welcome challenge

[00:11:52] A1 : but if it's flimsy or poorly defined

[00:11:55] A2 : they see it as a waste of time and understanding that helps you avoid that you know that painful polite oh thank you it's certainly something reaction okay so moving beyond material things

[00:12:07] A1 : the relational stuff how we talk to people what we avoid that's arguably the most potent stress reliever there is absolutely so let's look at the gift of genuine praise how do we acknowledge them for who they are

[00:12:22] A2 : tip No. 4 is all about affirmation for the dominant style the praise has to focus on their accomplishments their agency

[00:12:30] A1 : so you'd say something like

[00:12:32] A2 : acknowledge their decisiveness their willingness to take risks their action their ability to just get results

[00:12:38] A1 : okay and for the influence style

[00:12:40] A2 : praise their spirit and their people skills tell them they're motivating trusting enthusiastic that you appreciate their optimism and all the amazing ideas they come up with

[00:12:48] A1 : they need to be recognized for the positive emotional wake they leave behind them

[00:12:52] A2 : that's a perfect way to put it the steadiness style on the other hand needs to hear that their role as the stabilizer

[00:12:59] A1 : is valued so you praise their calm

[00:13:01] A2 : praise their patience their calm their loyalty their sensitivity to what other people need acknowledge their acceptance of others especially when there's chaos all around

[00:13:10] A1 : and the compliance style you praise their rigor

[00:13:13] A2 : you praise their rigor their analytical thinking their focus on quality and accuracy their thoroughness their planning you're praising the process not just the product

[00:13:22] A1 : this brings us to the final tip tip 5 which might be the most critical stress reducer of all the things that drive each style absolutely nuts

[00:13:33] A2 : the emotional landmine

[00:13:34] A1 : yeah we need to know where they're buried

[00:13:36] A2 : from the dominant style the biggest stresses are loss of control having to go slow wasting their time and uh indecisiveness from other people

[00:13:45] A1 : so if you're planning something with them stick to the schedule

[00:13:47] A2 : stick to a clear timeline and move quickly for the influence style they suffer greatly from social rejection curtness they hate being dismissed hate it

[00:13:56] A1 : and they dislike having too little time to interact they are allergic to skepticism and negativity if they tell a story even if some of the details are a bit inflated resist the urge to correct them in public

[00:14:08] A2 : yes because to them it feels like a personal social rejection

[00:14:13] A1 : that is a tough one during family dinners resisting the urge to fact check an anecdote

[00:14:18] A2 : it is but it's essential for keeping their spirits up for the steadiness style you have to avoid rushing them forcing fast decisions and sudden unprepared changes and conflict they are profoundly stressed by conflict if you need to make a big change you have to give them a long runway to adjust

[00:14:35] A1 : so should I just never bring up a contentious topic like politics even if I know they have strong opinions

[00:14:42] A2 : the sources suggest avoiding topics that are likely to create loud open conflict while they might hold firm opinions forcing them into a debate violates their primary need for harmony

[00:14:53] A1 : you're basically asking them to stress themselves out for your benefit

[00:14:56] A2 : exactly and finally the compliance style they are stressed by criticism of their work a lack of a plan inconsistency

[00:15:04] A1 : and being too touchy feely

[00:15:06] A2 : yes and that last point doesn't mean they don't have emotions it just means they prefer decisions and interactions to be guided by facts and logic uh huh not unstructured sentimentality

[00:15:15] A1 : they need rational expectations not some surprise intervention built on vague feelings that clarity is absolutely key hashtag outro

[00:15:25] A2 : so by using the dis framework the source material just offers this really powerful lens we stop guessing what people want and we start observing what they need

[00:15:35] A1 : whether that need is for control recognition security or accuracy

[00:15:39] A2 : right and reducing holiday stress is really just about respecting that fundamental need in every single interaction

[00:15:45] A1 : so what does this all mean for you as you navigate the next few weeks it means you can switch from a one size fits all approach to a customized 1 mm hmm you now have a framework to align your gifts your projects your conversations with the natural tendencies of your loved ones and that makes the whole experience less about obligation and more about authentic connection

[00:16:04] A2 : and as you start to apply this remember the new ones people are often combinations of these styles that's a great point so consider the internal conflict what happens when someone is say highly compliant meaning they hate inconsistency and demand structure but also highly dominant meaning they want to move fast and take risks

[00:16:23] A1 : hmm so how respecting one of their needs might clash with another one exactly

[00:16:27] A2 : how might respecting their need for speed sometimes clash with their need for accuracy and planning analyzing those internal tensions that's really the next level of insight that can transform how you relate to those closest to you this holiday season

[00:16:41] Suzie : thanks for joining us for this wake up eager Workforce Podcast mini episode in just a few minutes we hope you've walked away with a fresh insight a reminder that helps you create more energy focus and connection at work you can find every episode long form and mini at Wake Up Eager workforce.com or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and I'd love to hear your feedback on these mini episodes or how I can support you and your team reach me anytime at Priceless professional.com until then here's to building your wake up eager workforce and wake up eager life thanks for tuning in