599. Who Do You Believe? with Julie Harwick

We say we believe God’s Word, but when it conflicts with the culture around us, we don’t always act like true believers. In the second podcast of Julie Harwicks's series on body image, we examine the lies we have believed and the struggle that can result from replacing them with God’s truth.

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Welcome to Women World Leaders podcast. I’m your host, Julie Harwick. Thank you for joining me today as we celebrate God’s grace in our lives, in this ministry and around the world.

 Whether we’re scrolling through Facebook, YouTube or Instagram, we can always count on being offered a video, based on science of course, that will reveal the magic solution to lasting weight loss, a flat stomach, sag-free arms or a total facelift without surgery.  This person has struggled with the very same issues and it motivated him or her to pour everything into finding the answer. And now, they want nothing more than to share it with you and it’s unlike anything you’ve seen before.  For the next 20-25 minutes, this innovator will describe in detail the problem and everything you’ve done in an attempt to fix it.  Sadly, none of it has worked.  You’re almost shouting at the screen, “Yes! Yes!  That’s exactly me!  This guy (or lady) really gets me!” There are charts and studies showing how this product or system has ingredients in a precise combination no one ever thought to try before.  Before you know it, you realize that at least 20 minutes have passed, but you still don’t really know what the solution is.  By now, you’ve invested so much time, you’d hate to have it be for nothing, so you click on the link to learn more.  But rather than getting answers to your questions, you are offered a subscription plan that will save you a lot of money and have you looking and feeling your best in no time.

I have wasted countless hours on this whole process.  And when I come to my senses, I always get a mental image of Wayne and Garth of SNL’s Wayne’s World making fish lips and mocking me with their “fished in” bit. I feel like a fool and yet it doesn’t keep me from falling for it again and again.  I know there is no magic bullet and yet I so desperately want one.

What is it that makes us so susceptible to these lies? I say “us,” because I know I’m not alone in this weakness.  Consumers spend approximately 70 billion dollars each year on diets, exercise programs and the associated products.  In fact, it’s estimated that on average, each of us will spend more than $112,000 on it during our lifetimes.  What is euphemistically referred to as “health and fitness” is actually an industry…an industry based on an even more pervasive culture.

Diet culture is the term used to describe the overall system of beliefs that equates thinness to health and moral virtue. It demonizes certain ways of eating and elevates others.  And I, along with millions just like me, have embraced it without question.  I don’t know who originally coined this phrase, but it has been my mantra for years.  “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” Let me say it again in case you missed it.  “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.”  That elusive “feeling” of thinness is a powerful motivator.  I’ve experienced it at times and I have to admit, it feels good.  Really good!  At least, my flesh tells me it does.  My head tells me it’s another lie of Satan, but my heart still struggles to accept and internalize what I know God is saying.

I have literally spent decades fully immersed in diet culture.  As I shared with you last time, I went on my first diet and exercise program at 13.  No one specifically told me to do it, but after looking through a teen magazine and noticing that I wasn’t as slim as the girls I saw on the pages, I knew I had to do something.  For me, diet culture made sense and it made me feel like I was in control and could hold my head up high as long as I was doing the right things.  To be honest, the moral virtue part of that culture motivated me as much as the control aspect.  I was capable of denying myself…for my own good.  Of course it took self-control to limit my intake of the foods I really loved.  And sometimes I had to force myself to eat what I wasn’t so crazy about because it was the better choice.  When I was out of breath and sweaty, I could push myself to do one more lap.  I was master of my body and it would submit to my will.  In my teens, twenties and thirties that’s what it took to stay in control of my weight and I was proud of myself for the achievement.  When I attended my 20^th high school reunion just four months after giving birth, I felt pretty good about how I looked. I secretly judged some of my former classmates who clearly hadn’t practiced the same discipline.  In my mind, most of the people who didn’t look as good as they had in high school, probably just didn’t care enough to put in the effort and sacrifice.  I patted myself on the back and vowed to never “let myself go.”

 My hubris caught up with me though as I entered my forties and basic self-discipline no longer gave me the results I was looking for.  But rather than acknowledging that maybe body shape wasn’t a true measure of self-discipline and character - and that perhaps I had believed a lie, I just dug in harder.  Diet culture was full of experts advising women over 40 or 50 or 60 what special changes they had to make in order to stay young and thin. Getting older just meant you had to work a little harder and smarter.

So I did what it took.  And it took a lot more than what I had been doing.  It took 5 days a week of serious workouts: weight training, step aerobics, kickboxing, spin classes that I hated, boot camps, high-intensity interval training, Pilates and barre. It required measuring or weighing my portions and tracking every calorie, carb, fat and protein that I consumed. No one said I was crazy for going to these extremes, they were impressed by my level of commitment and complimented my appearance.  Even though all the things I was doing to keep my body looking like I thought it should look took so much time and energy, I never considered that I was exhibiting all the hallmarks of obsession.  Based on what I saw in the women working out with me, my friends and acquaintances, everything I saw on TV or read on social media, this was completely normal. ...