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006: The Gift of Joy - Part 2

You Were Made for This

Release Date: 12/19/2018

217: God Will Surprise Us show art 217: God Will Surprise Us

You Were Made for This

In the past dew episodes I’ve been talking about how I tracked down my birth father and met him for the first… and last time in my life. You’ll find links to those episodes at the bottom of the show notes. Today’s show concludes this painful chapter in my life by focusing on a larger relational and spiritual principle that applies to all of us. Namely, sometimes in our difficulties God will surprise us in unusual ways to remind us he is still working for our good and for his glory. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to...

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216: Our Past Helps Us Understand Our Present show art 216: Our Past Helps Us Understand Our Present

You Were Made for This

Hello everyone. If you haven’t listened to episode 215, “Searching for my Birth Father,” I suggest listening to that episode before continuing with this one. Just go to . Today’s episode, #216, continues with the theme of how understanding our past helps us understand our present when we see how God began shaping us early on to find joy in being the person he created us to be. Before we get into this I need to tell you that Carol, our announcer and executive director on vacation this week. Filling in for her is the latest addition to our staff, our chaplain and family cat, Father...

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215: Searching for My Birth Father show art 215: Searching for My Birth Father

You Were Made for This

One of the more popular topics from past episodes has been the story of Gail Rohde who was adopted as an infant, and her search as an adult for her birth mother. Then several years after finding her, she searched for her birth father - and found him, too. I’ll have links to those episodes at the bottom of the show notes.  It can be a relational minefield in dealing with the dynamics of adoptees wanting to know where they’ve come from, especially when it’s been hidden from them. I have a similar story about searching for my birth father that I wrote about in my book, THEM. ...

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214: People Are Like Houses show art 214: People Are Like Houses

You Were Made for This

A listener once suggested that for a podcast episode I should read from the book I wrote in 2016, THEM- The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others. It’s about relationships, which of course, is what this podcast is about. But I don’t know if reading from it would interest many of you. Maybe the first chapter might, I don’t know. It’s about how people are like houses when it comes to deepening our relationships with others. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.  Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from...

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213: Five Things to Watch for in Your Next Conversation show art 213: Five Things to Watch for in Your Next Conversation

You Were Made for This

One thing on my mind lately is a question about the meaningful conversations we sometimes have with friends, and what makes them different from other conversations. I started thinking about this while reading news articles about the Super Bowl played earlier this month. Meaningful conversations and the Super Bowl don’t quite seem to fit together, but they do in my mind.  Keep listening and I’ll explain the connection in today’s episode, number 213. Welcome to today’s episode Maybe they’ve always done this, I don’t know, but it seems that sports journalists lately are using a...

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212: Little Things We Do Matter the Most to People show art 212: Little Things We Do Matter the Most to People

You Were Made for This

The older I get the more I’ve come to appreciate how it’s the little things we do for people that matter most to them. Little things that come naturally for us because of how God uniquely made us, I’ve got a few stories for you today to illustrate this point. Stories that I hope will inspire you to bless others in ways that are easy and natural for you. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll...

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211: A Men’s Breakfast Like No Other show art 211: A Men’s Breakfast Like No Other

You Were Made for This

A men’s breakfast can be fun and still have a greater purpose than eating and conversation. When organized with a larger objective in mind it can be a great way to bless people and a means to live out the Gospel. Today’s episode is about my Men with Waffles breakfast and the impact it had on others not even in the room. Especially women. Breakfast with a friend  A few weeks ago my friend Randy was in town for the Christmas holiday. We used to go to the same church, but his job change meant a move to Pittsburgh. He and his wife are still closely connected with friends they have back in...

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210: Word of the Year for 2024 - Curious show art 210: Word of the Year for 2024 - Curious

You Were Made for This

CURIOUS. It’s my pick for the 2024 Word of the Year. Curious. It’s an important relational skill we need to help us deepen our relationships with others.  Today’s episode is about what happens when we’re not curious about people, and what we can do about it to strengthen our relational curiosity muscles that will enrich our relationships. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about.   Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover...

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209: The Christmas Story In 2023 show art 209: The Christmas Story In 2023

You Were Made for This

When you get right down to it, the only thing that really matters in the Christmas story in 2023 is Jesus. No Santa, gifts, or Bing Crosby. Just Jesus. Here's the original story as recorded in Luke's Gospel, just as it happened. I am reading from The Message, by Eugene Peterson. Luke 2: 1-20 The Birth of Jesus  About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to...

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208: Christmas - A Time to Reflect show art 208: Christmas - A Time to Reflect

You Were Made for This

There are many cultural dimensions to all that is Christmas. Pick your favorite. I have a few that I look forward to every year. But as I get older, I’m seeing Christmas more as a great time to reflect on my relationship with Jesus. In Luke’s gospel, for example, I’m especially drawn to the mother of Jesus, Mary, and how she reflects upon the birth of her son and all that it means to her, both in the present and the future. There are things we can learn from Mary as she takes time to reflect on this most important event in all of history.  Welcome to You Were Made for This If you...

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Today in "The Gift of Joy - Part 2" I need to admit that all the joy we hear around Christmas time often doesn’t register with me. For me, the more melancholy Christmas carols drown out the mood of the joyful ones. The ambience around “I’ll be home for Christmas” and “White Christmas” more typically characterize my emotions than “Joy to the World.”

My heart tend to drift the melancholy side of life anyway, and Christmas tends to push me even more in that direction. Most of it has to do with reminders of the painful dysfunction of my childhood. And then this particular Christmas several of my friends are going through a really tough time in their life. It’s hard to see the joy.

My hunch is that some of you are like me, or you have friends or family like me. How can people like us find a measure of joy during what others describe as the most joyous time of the year? I found an answer that works for me, and there’s a good chance it will work for you too.

In the previous episode I mention that we find joy, not by looking for it, but instead by waiting for Joy to come to us. I find that thought comforting, one less thing to work at.

Another way of looking at coming to us, is to think of Joy as more like a cat than a dog.

With dogs, there’s the expectation they will meet a need we have. Most dogs enjoy people, they want to engage with us, and they want us to affirm them. They want to be part of our world. Dogs are easy, and mostly needy. Not so with cats. They don’t need us. They’re self-assured and not co-dependent on us They’re not impressed with our words. You never say to a cat, “Good Kitty, good kitty” when they do something that meets your approval. They would laugh at you if you did. They’re already snickering on the inside as it is at us humans.

But where the joy comes with a cat is when they do the unexpected. Cats will surprise you. Dogs never do; they don’t know how. They are way too predictable. There’s little joy in the predictable.

But a cat knows how to surprise. Like when you visit at a friend at their house and their cat goes into hiding when you ring the door bell. But then, an hour into your visit, and when you least expect it, their cat appears out of nowhere and ever so quietly, jumps up on your lap as if you’ve been best buds for 20 years as it sits there and purrs. So unexpected, so surprising. That’s what joy is. It finds you, you don’t find it. The harder you look for joy, the less likely you’ll find it. Less is more, when it comes to finding joy.

Joy is found in surprises, and how can you go looking for a surprise? You can’t. To get more joy in our life we need to be prepared for joy to find us. We need to be ready for surprises.

How do you do that? How do we prepare for joy to find us, like a friend’s cat who comes out of hiding to jump on our lap?

We need to create a welcoming place in our heart for joy to find us.

I have an example of how joy found me recently.

Flash mob November 2010

Several years ago I stumbled upon a YouTube video by accident. It’s of a flash mob at the food court of the the Seaway Mall in Welland, Ontario, Canada. I have a link to it at the bottom of the show notes, so you can watch it for yourself  now, and then come back here. Or you can watch it later.

Christmas Food Court Flash Mob - November 2010

87 people from a church choir in Ontario scattered themselves throughout the food court of the mall on Saturday, November 13, 2010. Out of nowhere, and on cue at precisely 12 noon, one person from the choir interrupts the eating and quiet conversation by standing up and begins to sing the "Hallelujah Chorus" from Handel’s Messiah. Shortly thereafter, others from the choir, all dressed as holiday shoppers, gradually join in. And for the next 4 and ½ minutes the food court patrons are treated to one of the most beautiful choral pieces ever written.

The video really moved me, as it has done so for others, too. The local newspaper reported the same in people who viewed the video. Here are a few quotes from the article:

“I’m not a religious person, but I found this video to be beautiful and it brought tears to my eyes, well done!”

“How could listening to this beautiful music not make someone smile? It was heart warming to see all the food court people mesmerized by such a spectacular performance.”

“You can clearly see people crying… This is the most intense video I have ever seen on You-tube”

“I was deeply touched by this great performance.”

“Just watching the video nearly moves me to tears.”

“Every time I watch this I get the holy goose bumps and tears in my eyes. So powerful! THANK YOU!! and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! Hallelujah!!!!!”

“I haven’t been to Mass in years, and I’m bawling my eyes out right now.”

“I watch this recording over and over again, because of its overwhelming impact. The happiness on the faces of those people performing, but also to those listening!”

“I am an atheist, yet I find myself coming back to this video over and over again. I love beautiful music and even more I love seeing people enjoy it. I think this is wonderful!!”

* * * * * * *

All of this is joy. But after the 4 plus minutes or so of the singing, people applaud, then go right back to eating their Arby’s roast beef sandwich like nothing ever happened.

That’s how it is with joy. It usually doesn’t last long, It’s like the manna in the old testament that fed the nation of Israel in their 40 years of wandering in the desert. It came once each day, didn’t last long at all, but more came the next day.

And so it is with joy as well. It may not last long, but if we sit back and relax and create space for joy to find us, it will come back.

* * * * * * *

I’ve watched this video many times, and I’ve been trying to figure out why. Why does it bring me so much joy? Why am I drawn to it as I am? I’ve been trying to figure this out for some time, and the conclusion I’ve come to is the appeal of it comes down to one word: beauty.

There is so much beauty in several relationships here. The obvious beauty of the heaven-like voices and harmonies that so connected with people, that it brought some to tears. Both the food court lunch crowd, and the YouTube viewers the newspaper interviewed.

There’s the beauty of the lyrics, and being part of the history of generation after generation since 1742 that have enjoyed them. It’s a relationship that transcends time and space.

Then there’s the beauty of the singers who sang with such gusto and joy on their faces, second only to the joy in their voices. The beauty of this church choir all working and relating together to create something much grander than they ever could individually. The sacrifice they made on a Saturday to come entertain and bless strangers in a shopping mall in itself is a thing of beauty.

I found beauty in all the contrasts in this scene. Starting with the pianist playing “Jingle Bells” on his portable keyboard in the very beginning, then turning on the organ mode for the “Hallelujah Chorus.” The contrast of this glorious music for the heavens meant to be sung in a majestic cathedral, performed instead in front of an Arby’s and a Subway in a shopping mall food court.

For me, the second most beautiful thing of all is the reaction of those dining in the food court. So many smiles. People taking out their cell phones and recording the experience. Little children standing on chairs to take it all in. Joy was obviously finding them. They didn’t have to go looking for it at all. It came to them. The event united strangers together in joy and beauty for a few minutes on a Saturday afternoon in November.

One face in the crowd stands out for me. Notice at the 3:23 mark a 30-something slightly bearded man. His smile and his eyes are saying, “Ahh. This is so beautiful; it’s just what I need at this moment. Ahh.”

Finally, the most beautiful relationship to me is the connection between the truth of the lyrics, and the voices that proclaimed them. You can tell from their faces the choir actually believed what they were singing. You can tell their voices were connecting with their hearts.

The words are quite simple:

The kingdom of this world is become the kingdom of our Lord, and his Christ

And He shall reign forever and ever

King of kings forever Hallelujah

Lord of hosts

Lord of lords Hallelujah

Put all of these elements together and it creates a feeling. Beauty is a feeling, and I think that is why I’m so drawn in to the moment recorded for us in this video. It’s the relationship between what we see, and what we hear, and what we think that produces this feeling of beauty.

Handel is masterful in using just a few words from the last book in the Bible. He weaves these lyrics together with his beautiful melodies, bringing hope that there is a future for all of us. That the difficulties of this life will vanish one day, and that because of the king of kings and lord of lords, I will begin living as God originally intended for all mankind. Forever and ever.

The joy of that truth found me, by God using a flash mob at a food court in a shopping mall in Canada, of all places. If joy can find me through beauty like this, it can find you too.

Which leads us to the main take-away from today’s episode, our show in a sentence:

Joy will find us in surprising ways when we open our hearts to the beauty found in relationships with people working together, in our relationship to history, and in our relationship with truth that touches our hearts.

How are we to respond to today’s show?

May each of us spread joy to the world through the beauty of how we relate to each other, to what’s happening around us, and to the transcendent truth that is ours for the taking. And in doing so, may joy find us in ever increasing measure.

In next week’s episode, the day after Christmas, we’ll wrap up the year with the last episode of 2018, and talk a bit about what’s coming up in 2019 to help transform our relationships into the best they can be.

Quote of the Week

“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.”                 

                  - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Resources Mentioned on today’s show

You Were Made for This, episode 5, The Gift of Joy - Part 1

Christmas Food Court Flash Mob - November 2010