Mediate Your Life with John Kinyon
Host and Nonviolent Communication (NVC) expert John Kinyon guides guests through conflicts in their lives and the larger social-political world toward bridging differences and healing hurts using processes and principles rooted in empathic communication. The Mediate Your Life podcast with John Kinyon explores how to transform conflict into connection and possibility. Drawing from over two decades of experience in nonviolent communication (NVC) and conflict resolution, John shares powerful tools and insights to help you navigate challenging conversations and relationships with greater ease and effectiveness. Each episode offers practical guidance for moving from reactivity to presence, judgment to understanding, and conflict to collaboration. Learn evidence-based approaches for self-connection, difficult conversations, and mediating your own conflicts developed from John's extensive work with Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication. Whether you're looking to improve personal relationships, enhance workplace communication, or contribute to positive social change, this podcast provides a roadmap for creating peace - one conversation at a time. Join John to discover how awareness, empathy and compassionate dialogue can transform conflict into an opportunity for deeper understanding and meaningful connection.
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The Neuroscience of Emotion Circuits and Navigating Territories of Conflict with Sarah Peyton, Part 2
03/19/2025
The Neuroscience of Emotion Circuits and Navigating Territories of Conflict with Sarah Peyton, Part 2
In Part 2 of my conversation with Sarah Peyton, we dive deeper into the neuroscience of conflict and emotional healing, bridging the Mediate Your Life framework with the groundbreaking research of affective neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp. Together, we explore how different emotional circuits—rage, fear, grief, disgust, and care—shape the way we experience and navigate conflict, both internally and in our relationships. Sarah shares profound insights into how empathy rewires the brain, transforming reactive patterns into resilience, and we discuss how shame and self-judgment can block our access to authenticity and healing. We also explore how the different emotion circuits contribute to our ability to engage, connect, integrate, and move forward in life, and how the polarization in today’s political and social landscape mirrors deep neurobiological patterns of in-group/out-group dynamics. The final section of the episode incorporates a third conversation with Sarah. In this section, I share a difficult experience from my own life and how I used one of the Mediate Your Life maps to navigate it, while Sarah provides neuroscience understandings and insights on how this was connected for me with a childhood trauma. Sarah’s expertise in resonance and relational neuroscience brings new clarity to the healing process, offering listeners a roadmap for transforming conflict into connection. Join us for this rich, powerful conversation filled with deep and wonderfully illuminating insights. Jaak Panksepp’s Emotion Circuits SEEKING CARE PANIC/GRIEF FEAR RAGE SEXUALITY PLAY DISGUST Sarah’s bio, key links, and learning materials: Sarah Peyton, author, Certified Nonviolent Communication Trainer and neuroscience educator, integrates brain science and the use of resonant language to heal trauma with exquisite and warm gentleness. She teaches and lectures internationally, and is the author of the Your Resonant Self series, on the relational neuroscience of self-compassion and making your brain a good place to live. Her latest work is The Antiracist Heart, co-written with Roxy Manning, Ph.D. : Episode Chapters 0:00:00 - Intro 0:01:04 - Social Justice & Politics 0:07:15 - Conflict Maps 0:19:00 - The Emotion of Disgust 0:23:40 - Care Circuits and Evil 0:27:15 - Fear of Lost Connection 0:32:15 - Mourning and Care Circuits 0:36:45 - Shame, Stress, and Loneliness 0:51:20 - The Role of Fear 1:00:30 - Reconciliation Healing Process 1:07:11 - John’s Personal Experience 1:14:05 - Processing Trauma and Survival 1:20:30 - Mourning Unmet Needs 1:27:17 - Authenticity & Shame 1:38:30 - Neuroscience of Empathy 1:40:13 - Time Travel 1:46:00 - Outro
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Trauma, Conflict, and Healing with Sarah Peyton, Part 1
03/12/2025
Trauma, Conflict, and Healing with Sarah Peyton, Part 1
In this fascinating and heartwarming episode, I sit down with Sarah Peyton, a renowned expert in trauma healing, relational neuroscience, interpersonal neurobiology, and Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Sarah’s work bridges the worlds of science, empathy, and healing, helping us understand how conflict—both internal and external—can be transformed into connection and growth. We explore the deep connections between trauma, conflict, and healing, weaving together neuroscience, empathy, and the transformative power of resonance. Together, we discuss how the brain processes conflict, the role of resonant language, and how we can cultivate a sense of warmth and safety within ourselves and in our relationships. We also engage in a live, experiential dialogue using Sarah’s powerful “I-You” language practice, as well as an internal mediation process to navigate inner conflict. Sarah also shares how her personal journey through NVC and neuroscience has shaped her groundbreaking work. We discuss the current political and social landscape, and how trauma patterns shape ideological divides, making tools like NVC more vital than ever. This is part 1 of a rich, thought-provoking, informative, and deeply moving series of conversations that I trust you will find as meaningful, valuable, and enjoyable as I did. We delve into: 🔹 How the brain processes conflict and trauma, and why resonance is key to healing. 🔹 The power of “I-You” language, John and Sarah do a practice together that integrates both hemispheres of the brain to deepen relational connection. 🔹 How warmth and vocal tone influence the nervous system, and why emotional resonance is more impactful than words alone. 🔹 A live internal mediation, where John guides and accompanies Sarah as she explores her own inner conflict. Sarah’s bio, key links, and learning materials: Sarah Peyton, author, Certified Nonviolent Communication Trainer and neuroscience educator, integrates brain science and the use of resonant language to heal trauma with exquisite and warm gentleness. She teaches and lectures internationally, and is the author of the Your Resonant Self series, on the relational neuroscience of self-compassion and making your brain a good place to live. Her latest work is The Antiracist Heart, co-written with Roxy Manning, Ph.D. Episode Chapters 0:00:00 - Intro 0:06:30 - Resonant Self 0:10:00 - The Power of Warmth 0:11:00 - Understanding Brain Hemispheres 0:14:10 - NVC and Consent 0:15:20 - The Resonant Self Witness 0:16:50 - Research on Meditation 0:19:30 - The Value of Conflict 0:22:30 - Default Mode Network 0:26:50 - Stress and Healing 0:28:35 - Long Meditation 0:31:25 - Left and Right Hemispheres 0:37:00 - Self Talk 0:39:32 - How to Mediate Oneself 0:41:00 - Mediating Conflict & Being Vulnerable 0:44:20 - The Role of the Mediator 0:51:00 - Roleplaying 1:13:00 - Today’s Political Climate 1:15:00 - The Importance of NVC
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A “Unividual” Perspective on Politics and Polarization with Philosopher Tim Freke
01/07/2025
A “Unividual” Perspective on Politics and Polarization with Philosopher Tim Freke
In this compelling episode of the Mediate Your Life Podcast, John’s guest is pioneering philosopher Tim Freke. Tim is the author of 35 books that have been translated into 15 languages. The conversation explores how Tim’s groundbreaking, revolutionary philosophy of “Unividualism” integrates evolutionary science with deep spirituality and offers a new paradigm for personal and political evolution. Rooted in individuality and consciousness of collective unity, the unividual perspective fosters universal benevolence and open system of paralogical thinking—embracing the complexity and integration of seemingly contradictory ideas. Tim challenges critiques of modern individualism, arguing that true individualization leads to deeper unity and compassion. He shares his transformative journey from closed-system political ideologies to an open, unividual perspective. Together they discuss practical strategies for navigating political polarization, fostering constructive dialogue, and creating coalitions grounded in shared values and benevolence. In the second part of the conversation, Tim vulnerably shares an inner struggle related to his health and productivity, and John guides him through an inner healing process, demonstrating the transformative power of the “third chair” perspective, and also the unividual framework. This episode offers profound insights and practical tools for bridging differences and divides of modern life and politics, inspiring the vision of a more compassionate and collaborative future. English philosopher, the author of 35 books (including a Sunday Times Bestseller and Daily Telegraph ‘Book of the Year’) and one of the '50 Most Spiritually Influential Living People' in Watkins Magazine 2020 and 2021. Find Tim Freke here: Learn about Tim’s NEW upcoming podbook. Tim’s books: Episode Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 4:40 - Politics and Philosophy 6:51 - Science and Spirituality 9:40 - Tim's political evolution 12:19 - Seeking out opposing viewpoints 13:43 - “Unividual” and universal perspective 15:43 - Paralogical Thinking 21:57 - Holding Multiple Perspectives 23:53 - Benevolence in Discourse 28:37 - Economic Transactions Analogy 29:31 - Reaching Universal Perspective 31:03 - Commonalities Between Religious Mystics across Traditions 33:34 - Building Coalitions Based on Intention 34:11 - Soccer/Football Team Metaphor for Political Cooperation 35:42 - Tendency to Focus on Changing Others' Views 38:37 - Personal Story about Challenging Political Assumptions 42:00 - Transcending Political Divisions 45:00 - Evolution from Collective to Individual Thinking 47:44 - Balancing Individualism with Collective Unity 52:36 - "Why Your Life Really Matters" project 56:07 - Historical Evolution of Conflict Resolution 01:01:33 - New Society and Human Evolution 01:04:06 - "Going up" vs. "Going Left/Right" 01:05:37 - Polarization and Societal Transformation 01:07:08 - Misinformation and Shadow Projection 01:09:18 - Tim's struggles with Food Habits after Quitting Smoking 01:12:38 - Beginning of Mediation Process 01:15:59 - Exploring Emotional and Physical sensations related to Drive for Productivity 01:21:37 - Health, Balance and Sustainable Productivity 01:24:50 - Naming and Understanding Different Aspects of Self 01:28:31 - Integration of Perspectives and Seeking Sustainable Solutions
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Healing Societal & Personal Divides: The Power of Presence & Nonviolent Communication w/ Jeff Krasno
11/06/2024
Healing Societal & Personal Divides: The Power of Presence & Nonviolent Communication w/ Jeff Krasno
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John speaks with Jeff Krasno, co-founder of Commune Media and a leader in the health and wellness world. Jeff shares deeply and movingly about his experiences facilitating difficult conversations during times of social and political turmoil, particularly in his recent efforts organizing a 5-day intensive peace initiative on the Israel-Palestine situation. The discussion explores the challenges of navigating polarized viewpoints and the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue. Jeff recounts powerful moments of connection that emerged from seemingly insurmountable differences, highlighting the transformative potential of empathy and active listening. John and Jeff explore the application of Nonviolent Communication and Mediate Your Life principles in both global conflicts and personal relationships. In a vulnerable part of the conversation, Jeff opens up about his family of origin and relationship with his aging father. The conversation also touches on Jeff's upcoming book, "Good Stress," and how embracing discomfort in controlled doses can lead to personal growth and improved communication skills. Listeners will gain practical insights into managing difficult conversations, the importance of presence in conflict resolution, and how to apply these principles in their own lives. This episode holds value for anyone interested in personal growth, effective communication, and making a positive impact in an increasingly divided world. Find Jeff Krasno here: Discover Jeff’s books here: Read “Good Stress:” Discover Commune Media: Chapters: 00:00:00 - Introducing Jeff Krasno 00:04:09 - Discussion of political polarization and recent Israel-Palestine event 00:06:11 - Background on Commune platform and Jeff's newsletter 00:11:00 - Jeff's approach to responding to critical emails and inviting zoom conversations 00:20:06 - Learnings about difficult conversations and finding points of connection 00:25:00 - Building psychological immune system through exposure to criticism 00:29:00 - Creating safe containers for difficult conversations 00:42:00 - Background on Israel-Palestine Peace Summit 00:49:00 - Trauma and healing in Israel-Palestine dialogue 00:54:30 - Historical context and shared trauma between groups 01:03:30 - Biographical stories exercise 01:06:15 - Comforting a Palestinian participant who lost his cousin 01:13:00 - Difficult conversations with aging parents 01:16:00 - John guides Jeff through internal mediation process 01:23:50 - Strength and carrying others’ burdens 01:38:30 - Nurturing vs healing needs 01:43:00 - Discussion of Jeff's upcoming book "Good Stress" and its key themes 01:45:00 - Final thoughts on importance of difficult conversations for democracy Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: : : :
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Healing Family Rifts with Tejumo Ogouma
10/08/2024
Healing Family Rifts with Tejumo Ogouma
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John Kinyon engages in a heartfelt conversation with Tejumo Ogouma, a conflict resolution professional with an international background. Tejumo opens up about a deeply personal family conflict, centered on his relationship with his sister in the wake of their parents' passing. The discussion explores the complexities of sibling dynamics, estate management, and the profound impact of lost connection. John guides Tejumo through a process of self-empathy and compassion, helping him navigate the pain, sadness, and frustration he experiences in this difficult family situation. This episode demonstrates how the tools and approaches used in professional mediation can be applied to our own intimate family conflicts. Tejumo's journey of self-reflection and his efforts to find compassion for both himself and his sister provide a powerful example of the transformative potential of empathy in healing relationships. Listeners will gain practical insights for dealing with family conflicts, understanding the importance of self-compassion, and recognizing the universal human needs that underlie even the most challenging behaviors. This episode is a worthwhile listen for anyone grappling with family discord or seeking to deepen their understanding of conflict resolution in personal relationships.
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Transforming Political Differences with Candidate Jovanka Beckles
09/11/2024
Transforming Political Differences with Candidate Jovanka Beckles
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John Kinyon engages in a heartfelt conversation with Jovanka Beckles, a seasoned community leader running for California State Senate. Jovanka shares her journey from mental health professional to political activist, highlighting how her experiences shaped her commitment to social justice and community healing. The discussion covers the challenges of running a corporate-free campaign, the emotional impact of political conflict, and the importance of addressing root causes of societal issues. John guides Jovanka through a process of empathy and self-reflection, helping her navigate the hurt and frustration she feels when encountering opposition to her platform. This episode offers listeners a unique perspective on political engagement, demonstrating how empathy and compassion can transform our approach to political differences. It provides practical insights for anyone seeking to engage in political discourse with greater understanding and connection, while also offering a compelling look at grassroots political activism in action.
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The Enemies Project with Larry Rosen
08/27/2024
The Enemies Project with Larry Rosen
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John Kinyon engages in a deep conversation with Larry Rosen, a mediator who is creating a documentary series called, "The Enemies Project." Larry introduces his theory of the "enemy trance," explaining how empathy shutdown leads to misunderstanding and conflict escalation. He shares insights from the documentary he’s creating, which aims to bring together politically opposed individuals for transformative dialogues. The discussion covers the neuroscience of conflict, the role of "enemy makers" in society, and how to break cycles of animosity. John also guides Larry through an internal mediation process, demonstrating Mediate Your Life principles and how these relate to the Enemies Project. This episode offers listeners an exploration of conflict dynamics on both societal and personal levels, providing practical insights for anyone seeking to navigate disagreements with greater compassion and understanding. About Larry: Larry’s experience with peacemaking is multifaceted and long. As the founder of the mediation law practice , Larry has helped thousands craft stable solutions to crippling conflicts. In September 2024, Larry begins hosting the documentary film series , whose goal is to help rivals and enemies see deeply inside each other. Larry’s TEDx, , viewed 1.5 million times, offers simple, profound insight into human psychology. His popular article series, , further illuminates the hidden human mind. In 2024, Larry completed writing the soon-to-be-published novel The Enemy Dance, posing the question: Can a society riven by tribalism heal itself or must it descend into war? Larry graduated in the top 10 from UCLA School of Law where he was Editor of the Law Review. His many projects share a common purpose: feeling what is inside our enemies — so that we know how to convert them into friends. If you would like to participate in the documentary film series , please visit the website and submit an inquiry.
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Navigating Self-Care and Activism with Palestinian Activist Ashira Darwish
08/15/2024
Navigating Self-Care and Activism with Palestinian Activist Ashira Darwish
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John Kinyon engages in a deeply moving conversation with Ashira Darwish, a Palestinian activist, journalist, and founder of Catharsis Holistic Healing. She was also featured in the powerful documentary, Where Olive Trees Weep. Ashira shares her experiences living in Jerusalem, and her personal journey of healing and activism. The episode explores themes of intergenerational trauma, the weight of bearing witness to seemingly insurmountable conflict, and the complex interplay of rage, guilt, and the need for self-care in the context of sustained activism. John accompanies Ashira through a process of the Mediate Your Life approach, navigating the internal conflict between her intense drive to help her community and her personal need for self-care. This process reveals the challenges activists face in balancing their commitment to their cause with caring for their own well-being, and offers a compassionate framework for integrating these often seemingly opposing needs. Watch “Where Olive Trees Weep:” Visit Ashira’s Website:
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Crossing Political Differences and Divides with Cory Tyler
07/24/2024
Crossing Political Differences and Divides with Cory Tyler
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John Kinyon engages in a heartfelt conversation with Cory Tyler, exploring the transformative potential of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in our politically divided world. Cory, drawing from his background in show business and his journey to becoming an NVC practitioner, coach, and trainer, shares examples of navigating political disagreements within his own family. Through these personal stories, he illustrates the shift from reactive debate to compassionate curiosity. John and Cory explore the nuances of self-empathy, the challenge of facing our inner judgmental thoughts, and the liberating process of translating these into compassionate understanding. They discuss the ongoing practice required to maintain presence in difficult conversations and the importance of having support systems. This episode offers practical insights for anyone seeking to bridge divides in their personal relationships or broader communities. John and Cory explore these themes with candor and sensitivity, revealing how NVC can be a powerful tool for personal growth and social change. Listeners will come away with concrete strategies for transforming potentially volatile interactions into opportunities for deeper connection and mutual understanding.
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Embracing Freedom and Love with Nicole Gibson, Part 2
07/09/2024
Embracing Freedom and Love with Nicole Gibson, Part 2
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John continues his moving conversation with Nicole Gibson, founder of Love Out Loud. In this part of the conversation they use the Mediate Your Life map of internal mediation to delve into Nicole's intimate relationship journey towards self-trust, authenticity, and embracing one's true self in the loving of another. They discuss the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and the transformative power of truly understanding and integrating all parts of oneself. Nicole shares her experiences of learning to navigate complex relationship dynamics, making choices that honor her authentic self, and the ongoing process of reconciling inner and outer conflicts. This episode is a heartfelt examination of the path of love and self-love in intimate relationships. John and Nicole explore these themes with empathy and adept sensitivity, uncovering moments of resilience and healing through their conversation.
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Embracing Freedom and Love with Nicole Gibson, Part 1
06/25/2024
Embracing Freedom and Love with Nicole Gibson, Part 1
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John engages in a deeply moving, inspiring, and insightful conversation with Nicole Gibson, founder of Love Out Loud, an organization dedicated to scaling community and leadership capacity for emotional presence, love, and recognition. Together, they explore Nicole's journey from a challenging childhood and a life-threatening eating disorder to becoming a successful social entrepreneur and advocate for mental health. John and Nicole delve into themes of authenticity and vulnerability, the transformative power of personal storytelling and how it fosters deep human connection and healing, and Nicole's experiences with radical truth, honesty, and freedom as integral to love. Throughout their conversation, Nicole shares revelations of navigating intricate layers of facing fears and discovering resilience. We invite you to join us for this insightful discussion on embracing all parts of oneself, living a life guided by love and authenticity, and the continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. For more information about Nicole Gibson and the Love Out Loud organization, visit .
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Empathy and the Violence in Palestine with Rasha (Part 2)
06/06/2024
Empathy and the Violence in Palestine with Rasha (Part 2)
In this episode of the Mediate Your Life podcast, John continues working with Rasha, exploring the enormously challenging, complex, and deeply personal perspective she holds surrounding the Palestine-Israel conflict. Using the Mediate Your Life approach, they delve into a journey of empathy and compassion when there is great hurt and harm being done, and intense emotions of fear, anger, and profound pain. The episode culminates with Rasha and John doing a roleplay together that reveals an unexpected and powerful moment of connection, opening the door to transformation. Join us for a moving and heartfelt conversation on bridging and healing divides in this territory of one of humanity’s deepest wounds. This episode was recorded on April 24, 2024.
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Empathy and the Violence in Palestine with Rasha
05/14/2024
Empathy and the Violence in Palestine with Rasha
Growing up in the Middle East, Rasha learned to hold generalized views conflating Jewish people with the actions of people in the Israeli government and military. Moving to Canada as an adult, she learned to separate these differences. However, the escalating violence by Israeli forces against Palestinians in Gaza since October 7th reignited intense anger, sadness, and a sense of helplessness for her. In this episode, John works with Rasha to empathize with her experience and explore empathy for those inflicting this violence and suffering. Through this empathic dialogue, Rasha explored her emotions, needs, and values around this complex conflict.
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Societal Racism and Self-Compassion with Janine Lyman
04/22/2024
Societal Racism and Self-Compassion with Janine Lyman
After moving to the U.S. from growing up in apartheid South Africa, Janine was deeply disturbed to notice implicit racial bias arise inside herself while teaching a college math course. Host John Kinyon guides Janine through the Mediate Your Life map for self-compassion—the Chooser-Evaluator process—to help Janine find empathy and healing for herself and discover a new integration, wholeness, and insight moving forward. Timestamps: [0:00:00] Intro [00:04:05] A risky personal story [00:05:00] Challenging assumptions about racism [00:10:11] Racial awareness and transitions [00:13:36] The Chooser-Evaluator framework [00:19:19] Betrayal of Presented Worldview [00:24:15] Inherent value of everybody. [00:28:29] Justice and Empathy [00:35:07] Balancing social and cultural injustices [00:38:18] Naming the Internal Helper [00:43:57] Intersection of Guilt and Activism [00:49:11] Empathy between Justice and Helper [00:55:34] Challenging assumptions about others [01:04:08] The complexity of white privilege [01:09:45] Healing and justice for all [01:10:33] Genuine appreciation and connection Listen to the Mediate Your Life Podcast here: Website: podcast/ Apple Podcasts: Spotify: YouTube: iHeart: Amazon: Player.Fm: Learn more about the Mediate Your Life framework: Website: Download the Mediate Your Life App: Sign up for our Newsletter: Courses: Trainings and Events: Connect with John Kinyon here: LinkedIn: Instagram: YouTube:
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Coming Soon: Mediate Your Life with John Kinyon
03/22/2024
Coming Soon: Mediate Your Life with John Kinyon
Host John Kinyon guides guests through conflicts in their lives and the larger social-political world toward bridging differences and healing hurts using processes and principles rooted in empathic communication.
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