Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners

Welcome to "Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor" – the podcast where old money meets new manners, and your Auntie Kiki spills the tea on all things etiquette, with a side of laughter and a dash of aristocratic charm! Join the illustrious Kiki Astor, author of smutty romance novels and grande dame of decorum, as she tackles your most pressing etiquette questions with the finesse of a debutante twirling at a ball. Wondering about the historical roots of fork placement or the proper way to decline a social invitation without causing a scandal? Auntie Kiki has you covered, darling! In each episode, Kiki Astor delves into the archives of social graces, uncovering the hidden gems of bygone eras and bringing them into the 21st century with a wink and a nod. Learn how to curtsy with confidence, when to deploy the subtle art of shade, and why you should never, ever drop your pedigree papers, whether it's during a soirée, a cocktail party, or in the PTA or HOA meeting. From navigating the treacherous waters of modern technology to mastering the delicate dance of small talk, Kiki Astor is here to ensure you ascend the social ladder without stepping on any well-heeled toes. So, grab your monocle, straighten your tiara, and prepare for a delightful blend of refined advice and uproarious anecdotes that will have you laughing all the way to the gilded gates of high society. Subscribe now and embark on a journey through the annals of etiquette, where Kiki Astor transforms the socially awkward into the effortlessly elegant, one podcast episode at a time. After all, darling, why be gauche when you can be gloriously graceful? 🥂 #AwkwardEtiquette #KikiAstor #MannersMatter

Acquired, perhaps, but never bought: a discussion on Taste 01/26/2026

The Masterclass on Class: What class really is, and why it matters. 01/19/2026

The Masterclass on Class: What class really is, and why it matters. In this episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we tackle one of the most uncomfortable—and misunderstood—topics in modern society: class. Not money. Not income. Not net worth. Class. From ancient Rome and Greece to modern Europe and North America, this episode explores how class has historically functioned as a system of behavior, duty, values, and conduct—not merely consumption. We trace how class evolved through feudal societies, the rise of the bourgeoisie, Victorian morality, and America’s enduring myth of classlessness, revealing why pretending class no longer exists has made people socially confused, status-obsessed, and deeply anxious. We unpack the critical difference between wealth vs class, income vs status, and why high earnings don’t automatically translate into elegance, credibility, or social ease. Drawing on ideas like cultural capital, invisible manners, and long-term thinking, this episode explains what actually signals class today—and what merely signals insecurity. You’ll learn: The real historical meaning of class (and how we lost the plot) Why class markers have little to do with logos or luxury spending Who actually gatekeeps class, and why gatekeeping exists at all The 3 Generation rulle: How class mobility really works—and why so many families rise quickly only to fall within a few generations Why restraint, privacy, and institutional fluency matter more than visibility How pretending class is “dead” creates fragile elites and chaotic aspirants Finally, we explore why class still matters—not as superiority, but as stewardship, social literacy, and stability—and how to cultivate genuine elegance regardless of your starting point. This episode is for anyone fascinated by old money vs new money, social codes, etiquette, cultural power, and the quiet rules that still shape opportunity, trust, and belonging in modern life. /episode/index/show/0bd3118f-678e-4992-af73-c4a2e9c69691/id/39785160

You’re Either In or You’re Out: Exclusion, Power, and the Psychology of Belonging 01/12/2026

Real Resolutions for 2026: Old Money, New Manners, and the Quiet Power of Not Explaining Yourself 01/05/2026

Elegant Chaos: Why Old Money Never Has a Perfect Christmas 12/22/2025

Elegant Chaos: Why Old Money Never Has a Perfect Christmas For the final episode of the season of Awkward Etiquette Old Money and New Manners, Auntie Kiki invites you into the most intimate setting of all: the floor by the Christmas tree, wrapping gifts imperfectly and talking you down from the holiday panic spiral. This conversational season finale explores why old money traditions never revolve around a perfect Christmas and why elegance, confidence, and connection matter far more than flawless décor or curated aesthetics. In this holiday etiquette episode, Kiki breaks down the modern obsession with getting Christmas “right,” from symmetrical trees and pristine tables to carefully chosen outfits that are technically appropriate but completely forgettable. She explains why old money has always rejected perfection, not out of rebellion, but out of wisdom. Perfection is fragile, exhausting, and one spilled drink away from collapse, while confidence thrives in imperfection. Listeners are guided through old money holiday style, including why wearing the wrong thing to a Christmas party is often the most elegant choice. From hunting jackets over velvet dresses to pearls paired with dog walking boots, these outfit choices create narrative, signal inherited confidence, and eliminate the anxiety of trying to impress. Old money fashion, Kiki reminds us, is about story over spectacle and presence over performance. The episode also dives into old money Christmas parties and entertaining etiquette, where chaos is not a failure but a feature. Real candles, questionable wiring, overcrowded guest lists, and unpredictable moments are what transform gatherings into lasting memories. These imperfect holiday parties work because they allow people to relax, laugh, and connect without fear of things falling apart. Gift giving etiquette takes center stage as well, with Kiki unpacking why old money never suffers from gift anxiety. Instead of branded, over explained presents, old money gifts reflect continuity and life in progress. Think homemade jam in reused jars, books no one asked for, mysterious brass objects, and stockings filled with oranges, loose sweets, and forgotten pocket treasures. These gifts aren’t curated. They are contextual, personal, and quietly confident. This season finale of Awkward Etiquette is a warm, witty reminder that true elegance during the holidays comes from resilience, shared stories, and emotional ease. Old money Christmas isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection, memory, and allowing imperfection to do its most important work. /episode/index/show/0bd3118f-678e-4992-af73-c4a2e9c69691/id/39495380

The Old Money Villain: Vampires, Exclusion & The Art of the "Ice Queen" 12/15/2025

The Old Money Villain: Vampires, Exclusion & The Art of the "Ice Queen" Vampires are back—but in 2025, they aren’t sleeping in coffins. They’re chairing the board, running the estate, and freezing you out of the conversation with a polite smile. In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, Kiki Astor dissects the ultimate social archetype: The Old Money Villain. Drawing from her novel Scarlet Fever and the terrifying "Sangren" family, Kiki explores why we are culturally obsessed with wealthy monsters (think Succession, The White Lotus, and The Perfect Couple) and why the scariest people aren’t loud—they’re just insulated. If you’ve ever felt frozen out by high society, intimidated by a boss’s silence, or exhausted by the "Eat the Rich" discourse, this episode is your survival guide. Tune in to learn: The Anatomy of the Monster: Why Old Money villains don’t use force, but "continuity," to maintain power. The "Eat the Rich" Trap: Why shame doesn't work on the ultra-wealthy, and how to replace outrage with structural literacy. Etiquette as Risk Management: Why exclusion isn't usually about snobbery—it's about equilibrium (and how to make yourself "legible" to the elite). The Economics of Emotion: How to use "The Power of the Pause" and manage your emotional labor like a currency. The Outsider’s Mistake: Why trying to mimic the "Ice Queen" backfires, and the difference between powerful silence and petty contempt. BONUS SEGMENT: Dressing the Part. How to adopt the Old Money Villain aesthetic—using clothing as armor without looking like a costume. Whether you are navigating a difficult dinner party or just want to understand the psychology behind the "Quiet Luxury" villain, this episode will teach you how to borrow their composure without losing your soul. Mentioned in this Episode: Scarlet Fever by Kiki Astor The psychology of Succession & The White Lotus Navigating toxic social hierarchies Strategic silence and emotional boundaries Subscribe to Awkward Etiquette for your weekly dose of old money secrets and new world manners. /episode/index/show/0bd3118f-678e-4992-af73-c4a2e9c69691/id/39412290

The old money holiday survival guide: Manners, Social Skills, and Style Tips with Kiki Astor 12/08/2025

Emeralds, Envy, and Etiquette: The Secret Language of Old Money Green 12/01/2025

Emeralds, Envy, and Etiquette: The Secret Language of Old Money Green In this jewel-box episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, old money and etiquette expert and author of the Virginia foxhunting dark old money gothic novel Scarlet Fever Kiki Astor takes you on a richly layered tour of Old Money Green—the color that has shaped centuries of taste, architecture, interiors, jewelry, fashion, and even social behavior. From the deep, secretive gloss of Charleston Green, rumored to be a begrudging compromise from the post-Civil War era, to the storied Kelly Green of The Greenbrier, to Elsie de Wolfe’s iconic soft greens in her legendary drawing rooms, this episode is a masterclass in how different greens evolved into markers of heritage, refinement, and generational confidence. We explore emeralds, jade, malachite, peridot, how tartan, tweed, and loden green became synonymous with country estates and equestrian culture, and why specific greens appear again and again in heritage interiors, private clubs, fox-hunting culture, English country houses, Newport “cottages,” and storied American porches. But Kiki doesn’t stop at aesthetics. She dives deep into the etiquette and emotional intelligence behind the color: how to handle the “green-eyed monster” with grace, how envy and jealousy show up in high-society dynamics, how old-money families neutralize competitiveness with ritual, language, and poise, and how to cultivate a quiet confidence that reads as “old money” no matter your background or bank account. Expect witty observations, social-historical details, and plenty of nouveau pauvre self-deprecation as Kiki breaks down: The history and meaning of Charleston Green, Savannah Green, and Oxidized Copper Green on classical American homes Why loden coats, tartan skirts, and forest-to-hunter greens signal insider equestrian and countryside heritage The psychology behind jealousy etiquette and how to manage envy in friendships, relationships, and competitive social circles The role of green in royal fashion, prep school uniforms, Ivy League design, and private club interiors How to incorporate “old money green” into your own wardrobe, home, jewelry box, and daily manners Packed with old money aesthetics, social-skills wisdom, historical context, and chic etiquette insights, this episode is a treasure trove for anyone obsessed with heritage design, timeless style, and becoming the most elegant version of themselves—without losing their sense of humor. Pour yourself an iced mint tea, sit beneath something vaguely chinoiserie, and let’s talk green. /episode/index/show/0bd3118f-678e-4992-af73-c4a2e9c69691/id/39223640

An old money style Thanksgiving on a budget entertaining hacks and etiquette tips for the rest of us. Awkward Etiquette season 4 Ep 24 11/24/2025

The etiquette and old money social anthropology of secrets. Awkward etiquette Season 4 Ep 23 11/17/2025

Old Money on Horseback vs Ralph Lauren: Equestrian Aesthetic and etiquette with Kiki Astor 11/10/2025

No-vember: Chic Introversion, Selective Socializing, and Old Money Etiquette 11/04/2025

No-vember: Chic Introversion, Selective Socializing, and Old Money Etiquette As daylight wanes and autumn deepens, the first week of November offers unique opportunities—and subtle challenges—for anyone who cherishes etiquette, aesthetics, and intentional living. In this episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners with Kiki Astor, Kiki reveals how to navigate early November with elegance, balance, and old-money flair. What you’ll learn in this episode: 1. Daylight Savings Time Etiquette: Adjust your daily routines gracefully, pour drinks earlier, and embrace the cozy rhythms of the season—without sacrificing sophistication. Learn how small timing changes can elevate your lifestyle and keep you effortlessly on top of social expectations. 2. Selective Hospitality: Discover the art of hosting with intention. From gracefully declining invitations to offering one-on-one refuge instead of trying to please everyone, Kiki shares how to cancel plans politely, truthfully, and with elegant alternatives—because refined social navigation is always in style. 3. Autumnal Home Rituals: Bring seasonal charm to your home with old-money-approved practices: polishing silver, waxing floors, stocking quality candles, and rotating throws and portières. These subtle touches honor the season, elevate your home’s gravitas, and add understated sophistication to everyday life. 4. Sensory Living: Cultivate warmth and romance by focusing on sound, scent, and texture—from cedar-scented storage to the Calandre glow of ambient lighting. Kiki explains how attentive, sensory-focused living can transform a simple space into a haven of comfort and style. 5. Wardrobe of Withdrawal: Learn to embrace seasonal fabrics like velvet and linen, revive the hostess dress for intimate gatherings, and indulge in self-care without falling into sloth. November is the perfect time to make quiet elegance and comfort your wardrobe mantra. 6. Intentional Connection: Reconnect with old friends and family thoughtfully. Create opportunities for others to contribute, and enjoy low-pressure, intimate evenings—like a chic aperitivo—where conversation and connection take precedence over performative socializing. No…vember is the month when introversion is chic, minimalism is luxurious, and balance—between solitude and connection, leisure and responsibility—is essential. Join Kiki Astor as she guides you through the subtle arts of selective hosting, seasonal refinement, and the timeless pleasures our ancestors once celebrated. /episode/index/show/0bd3118f-678e-4992-af73-c4a2e9c69691/id/38896460