ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk

Welcome to ADOPTION MATTERS, a podcast with real people sharing real life stories and getting real about adoption from all three perspectives of the adoption triad. I'm Kim Noeth, one of your co-hosts, and a birth mother, along with Sharon Butler Obazee, an adoptee and Sally Ankerfelt, an adoptive parent. Together we explore difficult topics and share frank conversations guided by our commitment to truth-telling and truth-seeking. In each episode we discuss important issues using adoption attuned principles to help us navigate even the most sensitive topics with grace and respect. Together, we model courageous communication, and help create a community where anxiety can be reduced, and mutual understanding can prevail. Whether you are an adoptee, a birth parent or adoptive parent, or a member of the adoption constellation, we are excited to share our stories, insights and support. Thank you for joining, ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk

Episode 27_ Love is Only a Beginning: Adoptive Parenting Differs from Biological Parenting! 04/01/2026

Episode 27_ Love is Only a Beginning: Adoptive Parenting Differs from Biological Parenting! Join co-hosts, adoption coaches, and triad members Kim Noeth, a birth mom, Sally Ankerfelt, an adoptive parent, and Sharon Butler-Obazee, an adoptee as they continue to revisit some special guests over the last year. In each episode, your hosts are committed to looking at the adoption system from the perspective of the triad: from the adoptee, who is the center of the triad, from the birth parent, and from the adoptive parent. Learn more about your ADOPTION MATTERS' hosts and their ICF-approved course Adoption Attuned Coaching Certification Program at . Let's meet our featured special guests for this episode: Jean Kelly Widner: Jean's newest book, The Adoption Paradox: Putting Adoption Into Perspective, has won widespread acclaim. It gives voice to those often left out of the adoption conversation—birth parents, adoptees, and families shaped by the system. The Adoption Paradox is the result of years of personal interviews, research, and emotional courage. Jean is also the 2026 recipient of the Growing Intentional Families Together Shaping the Future Award. Learn more about Jean and her work here: Isaac Etter: Isaac uses his story and deep passion for adoption and foster care education to bring relevant, quality, and diverse resources to the adoption community. He draws on his story of being adopted and growing up in a white world to curate deep conversations about race, identity, and adoption in America. With his unique insight, Isaac curates impactful discussions about race in America where everyone learns to value each other and their experiences. Isaac believes these conversations are crucial for child welfare professionals and adoptive and foster parents to nurture mutual understanding and grow happier, healthier families. Isaac is also the first recipient of the Growing Intentional Families Together Shaping the Future Award. Learn more about Isaac and his work here: Marcie Keithley: Marcie is an author, advocate for genetic rights, speaker, master storyteller and co-founder of the National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP). She retired as Vice President of Retail Bank Management and Merrill Lynch after serving the financial industry for over 32 years. She and her birth daughter, Jessica, were reunited on Father's Day in 2008. Marcie has written, The Shoebox Effect and Transforming Pain Into Fortitude and Purpose and currently is working on her next memoir, Beautifully Broken, Diary of an NPE, A DNA Surprise. Marcie is also the 2025 recipient of the Growing Intentional Families Together Shaping the Future Award. Learn more about Marcie and her work here: Anne Heffron: As an author, Anne is fearless, candid, and wildly authentic. In her nationally acclaimed memoir, You Don’t Look Adopted, she reflects on her lived experiences as an adoptee. She connects with others through her own imperfections, and, through doing so, instills an empowering sense of community, possibility, and freedom in her readers. As an advocate – for members of the adoptee community and anyone seeking a sense of safety and self-esteem – Anne believes in caring, collaboration, and real conversations. She leads by example and seeks to inspire others to live a life that feels healthy, productive, generous, and true. Learn more about Anne and her work here: Dr. Patrice Martin: Dr. Martin is a same race adoptee. In her profession she works in grants management in the nonprofit and for-profit sectors. She has always known she was adopted and grew up with a loving family. Yet as life would have it, some twists and turns were embedded in her story as she learned that quite possibly she would never be able to find her biological family having been abandoned in a trash bin at birth. She now lives her full story with both sides of her family and is inspired to help others. She is does not shy away from the issues that adoption raises in adoptees' lives and works to help children and adults see their fullest potential despite challenges a non-ideal situation presents. Learn more about Patrice and her work here: https://adoptionunfiltered.com/podcast/dr-patrice-martin/ /episode/index/show/2229290f-8a2e-4619-b79a-5b2a6f2037b7/id/40627155

Episode 26 Celebrating Author, Jean Kelly Widner, Recipient of The 2026 Shaping the Future Award! 03/18/2026

Episode 26 Celebrating Author, Jean Kelly Widner, Recipient of The 2026 Shaping the Future Award! Celebrating Author and Adopted Person, Jean Kelly Widner! Join your co-hosts and other members of the Growing Intentional Families Together coaching team as we honor Jean Kelly Widner as the recipient of the Growing Intentional Families Together 2026 Shaping the Future Award. We are thrilled to acknowledge Ms. Widner's work to expand communication, nurture understanding, and advance Adoption Attuned practices, policies, and education within adoptive families and the broader adoption community. She has made significant contributions to helping others understand how adoption impacts adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, and the entire adoption constellation. Her efforts bridge often siloed perspectives and helps constellation members better understand themselves and the needs of adopted persons. We also recognize and appreciate Jean's ongoing work with Adoption Knowledge Affiliates. Jean's newest book, The Adoption Paradox: Putting Adoption Into Perspective, has won widespread acclaim. It gives voice to those often left out of the adoption conversation—birth parents, adoptees, and families shaped by the system. The Adoption Paradox is the result of years of personal interviews, research, and emotional courage. Learn more about Jean and her work here: https://adoptionparadox.com/about-h/about-jean-kelly-widner/ From Jean's website: Jean Kelly Widner is the author of The Adoption Paradox: Putting Adoption into Perspective, a powerful exploration of the complex realities of adoption. Born in 1965 and adopted from birth in Washington State, Jean lives the paradox she writes about-experiencing both love and loss, belonging and separation. In her book, she shares stories from all sides of the adoption triad: adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families, alongside insights from mental health experts. Jean brings clarity and compassion to a subject often wrapped in silence and misconception. With a background as a marketing consultant and joint venture affiliate marketing expert, she and her husband have built and sold two successful e-commerce companies. She also owns a local news and storytelling blog in Boulder City, Nevada, where her love of writing continues to grow. Jean lives in Southern Nevada with her husband and two dogs, and often escapes the desert heat in their camper van, where they work remotely and explore new places. Through her writing, she invites readers to see adoption not as a simple narrative of rescue or loss-but as a layered, human experience that deserves honesty, empathy, and ethical reflection. Jean Kelly Widner PO Box 61072 Boulder City, NV 89006 facebook@AdoptionParadox medium.com/@jean_36017 Learn more about Growing Intentional Families Together and its adoption coaches: www.giftfamilyservices.com /episode/index/show/2229290f-8a2e-4619-b79a-5b2a6f2037b7/id/40137905

Episode 25 From the Dark Ages of Adoption to an Adoption Attuned Approach 02/18/2026

Episode 25 From the Dark Ages of Adoption to an Adoption Attuned Approach Join co-hosts, adoption coaches, and triad members Kim Noeth, a birth mom, Sally Ankerfelt, an adoptive parent, and Sharon Butler-Obazee, an adoptee as they revisit informative interviews with a few very special guests over the last year. Asw always, your hosts are committed to looking at the adoption system from the perspective of the triad: from the adoptee, who is the center of the triad, from the birth parent, and from the adoptive parent. Learn more about your ADOPTION MATTERS' hosts and their ICF-approved course Adoption Attuned Coaching Certification Program at . Let's meet our featured special guests for this episode: Adopted person and author, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, a warm, delightful guest with great insight into adoption from her own personal experience as well as many years of professional practice. Dr. Pavao shares today a little of her personal story, one that pushed her forward into advocacy for ethical adoption practices and better training for professionals to become adoption competent. *Learn more about Dr. Maguire Pavao: https://www.pavaoconsulting.com/about *Listen to her podcast: April Dinwoodie, advocate for adoption, foster care, and multiracial Families. Relinquished into foster care at birth and adopted by the age of two, Ms. Dinwoodie grew up navigating life as a Black/biracial woman in predominantly white spaces. Her personal journey—shaped by questions of identity, belonging, and family—has fueled her lifelong commitment to embracing empathy, inclusion, and understanding. *Learn more about April at Sharon McNamara, adoptee and developmental psychologist, shares a bit of her own personal story that demonstrates that adoption may very well be the factor in an adoptee's emotional response to a given situation. For adoptive parents, Sharon's philosophy is one that promotes a practice of "unconditional positive regard" as an adoptee works through trauma, grief, loss, rejection, identity, and other issues. Learn more about Sharon McNamara and her work here: *Learn more about your hosts, Adoption Coaches, Kim, Sally, and Sharon as well as other Growing team members at /episode/index/show/2229290f-8a2e-4619-b79a-5b2a6f2037b7/id/39734240

Episode 24: Support Families & Individuals in the Adoption Community... Become an Adoption Attuned Coach! 01/21/2026

Episode 23: Interview with Open Adoption Advocate and Author, Linda R. Sexton 12/17/2025

Vlog 22: ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk with Guest, Simon Benn 11/19/2025

An Interview with Special Guest Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, a pioneer in adoption understanding 10/15/2025

Vlog 20 ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk with Guest Jean Kelly Widner 09/18/2025

Vlog 20 ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk with Guest Jean Kelly Widner Join co-hosts, adoption coaches, and triad members Kim Noeth, Sally Ankerfelt and Sharon Butler Obazee, for another poignant and informative discussion with this month's special guest, adopted person and author, Jean Kelly Widner. Jean shares her own personal story with your hosts as a well loved, mostly happy adoptee growing up in the small town of Yakima, Washington. "They did everything right and imagine ... and it was the 70s I'm talking about!" Jean says enthusiastically. Yet she realized at some point that indeed, she had a deep and enduring trauma having experienced the loss of her first mother at birth. There was no getting around the fact that while she had wonderful, loving, and supportive adoptive parents for which she was grateful, adoption's pall of grief hovered over her. It is true, she posits, adoptees can have a "good adoption" and still suffer emotional pain that is part and parcel of any adoption. Jean has found healing and purpose, in writing and talking about the adoption experience of herself and others. Learn more about Jean and her work here: From Jean's website: Jean Kelly Widner is the author of The Adoption Paradox: Putting Adoption into Perspective, a Powerful Exploration of the Complex Realities of Adoption. Born in 1965 and adopted from birth in Washington State, Jean lives the paradox she writes about, experiencing both love and loss, belonging and separation. In her book, she shares stories from all sides of the adoption triad: adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families, alongside insights from mental health experts. Jean brings clarity and compassion to a subject often wrapped in silence and misconception. With a background as a marketing consultant and joint venture affiliate marketing expert, she and her husband have built and sold two successful e-commerce companies. She also owns a local news and storytelling blog in Boulder City, Nevada, where her love of writing continues to grow. Jean lives in Southern Nevada with her husband and two dogs, and often escapes the desert heat in their camper van, where they work remotely and explore new places. Through her writing, she invites readers to see adoption not as a simple narrative of rescue or loss-but as a layered, human experience that deserves honesty, empathy, and ethical reflection. Jean Kelly Widner can be reached at PO Box 61072, Boulder City, Nevada, 89006; On facebook at ; and at medium.com/@jean_36017 Reach your hosts and adoption coaches at /episode/index/show/2229290f-8a2e-4619-b79a-5b2a6f2037b7/id/38268000

Episode 19 ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk with Guest Sharon McNamara, Ed. D., 08/20/2025

Episode 19 ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk with Guest Sharon McNamara, Ed. D., Join co-hosts, adoption coaches, and triad members Kim Noeth, Sally Ankerfelt and Sharon Butler Obazee, for a poignant and informative discussion with this month's special guest, adoptee and developmental psychologist, Sharon McNamara. Sharon shares her own personal story as well as her work with members of the adoption constellation. Adopted people and adoptive parents need to understand that the separation of an infant from their first caregiver is a traumatic event and has life-long effects on the adopted person. Adoption may very well be the factor in an adoptee's emotional response to a given situation. And for adoptive parents, it is most important to develop a practice of "unconditional positive regard" as your adoptee works through trauma, grief, loss, rejection, identity, etc. Sharon's approach to children and families is to help the child and family understand that most children have some version of relational trauma as a result of being adopted. By accepting this as a starting place, the adoptive parents can understand better how an adopted or foster child may have different reactions to so-called “normal” parenting practices. She also tries to help families understand the big picture regarding how information is always useful in helping adoptees and foster children make sense of their situation. Sharon Stein McNamara, Ed. D., L.P. has been been practicing as a psychologist since 1991 when she graduated from the Harvard Graduate School of Education and did her internship in cognitive behavioral psychology at McLean Hospital, affiliated with the Harvard Medical School. In addition to this, she is was adopted as an infant and have been studying the effects of adoption on families for over 20 years. Learn more about Sharon McNamara and her work here: Learn more about the adoption coaches at Growing Intentional Fmailies Together: /episode/index/show/2229290f-8a2e-4619-b79a-5b2a6f2037b7/id/37889060

Episode 18 ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk with Special Guest Elizabeth Barbour 07/16/2025

Episode 17: Three Fathers Share Their Reflections About Fathering on Father's Day 06/06/2025

Episode 16: Mother's Day Reflections 05/07/2025

Episode 15 Resilience, Leadership & Service as Pathways to Healing with Special Guest Marcie Keithley 04/16/2025

Episode 15 Resilience, Leadership & Service as Pathways to Healing with Special Guest Marcie Keithley Welcome to ADOPTION MATTERS, a podcast with real people sharing real stories and getting real about adoption from all three perspectives of the adoption triad. Join coaches, Kim Noeth, one of your co-hosts, and a birth mother, along with Sharon Butler-Obazee, an adopted person, and Sally Ankerfelt, an adoptive parent as they explore difficult topics and share frank conversations guided by our commitment to truth-telling and truth-seeking. Today, we honor as the recipient for her work in encouraging dialog and understanding between the members of the adoption constellation. The Shaping the Future Award acknowledges the efforts of individuals and organizations committed to encouraging dialog across the adoption constellation because we know that a fuller view of adoption complexity gives a more complete picture of the adoption experience. When we see more completely, relationships can be strengthened and people can grow in their understanding and care for another person’s experience, especially understanding the adoption person’s experience, which is front-and-center. Ms. Keithley's work surely embodies those goals and aspirations! Marcie J. Keithley, is an author, advocate for genetic rights, speaker, master storyteller and co-founder of the . She retired as Vice President of Retail Bank Management and Merrill Lynch after serving the financial industry for over 32 years. She and her birth daughter, Jessica, were reunited on Father's Day in 2008. Ms. Keithley co-founded the and has testified multiple times throughout the years in support of OBC access for the sister organization, H.E.A.R. (Hoosier For Equal Access to Records), where she served as Vice President. She also hosts the twice-monthly, Friday night virtual event, with a global audience from across the adoption constellation. Her journey took a dramatic turn in the fall of 2023 when an intended DNA test to search for more Keithley family members resulted in a DNA surprise that would alter her world: she had no biological connections to the Keithleys. Similar to an LDA, she discovered at the age of 68 that she was raised by non-biological people. An author, Ms. Keithley has written, and currently is working on her next memoir, Beautifully Broken, Diary of an NPE, A DNA Surprise. Whether you are an adopted person, a birth parent or adoptive parent, or a member of the adoption constellation, we are excited to share our stories, insights and support. Thank you for joining, “ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk” /episode/index/show/2229290f-8a2e-4619-b79a-5b2a6f2037b7/id/36152235

Episode 14 "Blind Spots" in Adoptive Parenting 03/19/2025

Episode 14 "Blind Spots" in Adoptive Parenting Welcome to ADOPTION MATTERS, a podcast with real people sharing real stories and getting real about adoption from all three perspectives of the adoption triad. Join coaches, Kim Noeth, one of your co-hosts, and a birth mother, along with Sharon Butler-Obazee, an adopted person, and Sally Ankerfelt, an adoptive parent as they explore difficult topics and share frank conversations guided by our commitment to truth-telling and truth-seeking. Today's episode features April Dinwoodie: Advocate for Adoption, Foster Care, and Multiracial Families. Relinquished into foster care at birth and adopted by the age of two, Ms. Dinwoodie grew up navigating life as a Black/biracial woman in predominantly white spaces. Her personal journey—shaped by questions of identity, belonging, and family—has fueled her lifelong commitment to embracing empathy, inclusion, and understanding. As the host of two podcasts, "Born in June, Raised in April: What Adoption Can Teach the World!" and "Calendar Conversations: A Guide for Adoptive Parents," April promotes dialogue about identity, family, and cultural differences. A former Chief Executive of the Donaldson Adoption Institute (DAI), she has led national adoption reform initiatives and founded AdoptMent, a mentoring program for adopted and foster youth. Currently, she serves as Executive Director of Transracial Journeys, Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging Lead at Steven Madden, LTD, facilitates adoption affinity/support groups in schools, consults on federal child welfare grants, and serves on advisory boards within the adoption community. April has been sharing her experiences nationally and internationally for over 25 years as a keynote speaker and presenter, including engagements with the UPMC Hospital System and the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption/Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Summit. Learn more at Aprildinwoodie.com. Whether you are an adoptee, a birth parent or adoptive parent, or a member of the adoption constellation, we are excited to share our stories, insights and support. Thank you for joining, “ADOPTION MATTERS: Real People, Real Life, Real Talk” /episode/index/show/2229290f-8a2e-4619-b79a-5b2a6f2037b7/id/35340340