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14. Regulating and cultivating feeling good
06/19/2023
14. Regulating and cultivating feeling good
In our lives, our behaviors and decisions shape our lives. We might have a way of living our lives that tends to be anxious or stressful. Our inner conversation might be critical and negative. We make decisions based on fear or pleasure. Therefore, without any awareness we do not realize that we are creating negative experiences and painful emotions to ourselves. According to sociologist and psychologists, we have three main ways of responding that have evolved throughout our existence. The first is the threat- response system, when we are functioning from this system we are alert and ready to respond by fighting, fleeing or freezing to protect ourselves. Can you notice in what situations you tend to feel this way? However, this system is silent when we feel safe. The second one is a goal-seeking system, this is the energy that’s behind addictions, where we feel comforted after eating, when we drink when we are thirsty or having sex when we are arouse. This system is silent when we are satisfied. When our desires for safety and satisfaction are not met we are less generous. The third system is the tend-and-befriend system this one is the one we want to learn to activate more often since it’s the one that will help us connect better with others and release self-preoccupation. Loving connection feels good and gives life meaning. In this episode, Yessica explains how important it is to cultivate a life where we can be aware of which motivation is leading the moment so that you can consciously decide and shift. When we cultivate compassion, we practice being in the third system, which will help us, step away from those feelings of fear or self-evaluation. If you want to do some deeper work, you can find more information for coaching sessions or mindfulness sessions with Yessica on
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