The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill

A storytelling podcast

Podcast #39 Stories 249-254 08/14/2024

Podcast #39 Stories 249-254 Stories: 1. Drinking beer for Jesus 2. Falling out of love with the dog 3. Jersey no longer sees or hears the mailman 4. Mr. Neill is embarrassed to call his near deaf dog 5. With this one simple trick, Asia no longer misses Jersey 6. The old ladies in the neighborhood remind Mr. Neill that he's not all that good of a person Music: 1. The Yas Yas Girl and Her Rythm Rascals - True love 2. Gene Gifford and His Orchestra - Dizzy gilde /episode/index/show/500stories/id/32567472

Podcast #38 Stories 239-248 05/15/2024

Podcast #38 Stories 239-248 Stories: 1. Audio Galaxy reanimates Sir Harry Lauder who animates Gifford Neill 2. John Neill meets John Neill and they don’t like each other 3. Gifford Neill’s boss has a colorful office 4. Mr. Neill gets 3 jolts 5. Mr. Neill’s mace 6. The bay rum mystery 7. Andy D and the mystery of the Chinatown discard plate 8. Jeepers Creepers! 9. No hydro in Canada 10. Sexyham Music: 1. Sir Harry Lauder - Stop yer tickling, Jock 2. Sunshine Boys Quartet - I am a pilgrim 3. York Bros - Riding and singing my song /episode/index/show/500stories/id/30937683

Podcast #37 Stories 228-238 05/01/2024

Podcast #37 Stories 228-238 Stories 1. Lost old people 2. Oldness at work 3. COBOL yinzer devs aren’t so old after all 4. A cat named Tawm 5. Oldness at Arcade Theatre 6. Scent of the month club 7. Young Mr. Neill builds a toolbox 8. Mr. Neill makes the ultimate hipster toolbox 9. Mr. Neill tries to sell his Soda Crate Toolboxes on Etsy 10. Young Mr. Neill fails to sell his toys 11. Young Mr. Neill fails to sell his Rubik’s cube solutions Music 1. Gene Gifford and His Orchestra - Squareface 2. Coleman Brothers - Get away Mr. Satan, get away /episode/index/show/500stories/id/30673613

Podcast #36 Stories 216-227 04/15/2024

Podcast #36 Stories 216-227 Stories 1. Mr. Neill befriends a group of friendly anarchists 2. Dance party failure 3. Santarchy 4. Pillow fight 5. Luchador bowling 6. Punk rock karaoke misunderstanding 7. Karaoke humiliation 8. Judgy house cleaner 9. 11/11 11:11 end of the world party 10. Glowing in a microbus 11. Asia finds her people 12. Glowing while washing dishes Music 1. oldmanneill - Shook me all night long 2. Perry Como - Zing zing, zoom zoom /episode/index/show/500stories/id/30607713

Podcast #35 Stories 208-215 04/01/2024

Podcast #35 Stories 208-215 Stories 1. Mr. Neill picks a slacker to mentor him 2. Mr. Morrill’s approach to teaching 3. Mr. Neill gives a Geometry test 4. Benjamin no longer has perfect attendance 5. The professor and the Jesus painter 6. 1.5 life hacks from Mr. Morrill 7. Mr. Morrill joins the Army 8. Daniel avoids disaster when the boss picks up the tab Music 1. Rosetta Howard - When I been drinking 2. Sunshine Boys Quartet - Satisfied mind /episode/index/show/500stories/id/30424853

Podcast #34 Stories 195-207 03/15/2024

Podcast #34 Stories 195-207 Stories: 1. UIC succeeds in their quest to get rid on Mr. Neill 2. Mr. Neill fears for the life of his elderly professor 3. Mr. Neill has his head in the clouds with non-Euclidean Geometry 4. Mr. Neill learns nothing in his education classes 5. Mr. Neill enjoys grad school with no tests or homework 6. Mr. Neill regrets: Not going to a party with his professor 7. Not taking a selfie with muscle-men 8. Not talking to 2 ladies in an elevator 9. Not giving an IKEA employee a hug 10. Not fostering a child 11. Not saying "what's up with that guy?" 12. Not playing Scrabble at the Jumping Bean Cafe 13. Telling my nephew 2 story arcs Music: 1. Andy Kirk and his Twelve Clouds of Joy - Git 2. oldmanneill - I'm sorry /episode/index/show/500stories/id/30331143

Podcast #33 stories 185-194 (Gifford Neill Sr retrospective) 02/29/2024

Podcast #33 stories 185-194 (Gifford Neill Sr retrospective) Stories: 1. Gifford Neill growing up 2. Gifford Neill joins the Navy 3. Gifford Neill goes to college 4. Gifford Neill gets married 5. Gifford Neill builds a toolshed 6. Gifford Neill has the dream life 7. Gifford Neill gives up the dream life 8. Gifford Neill overcomes health issues 9. Gifford Neill gains financial stability 10. Gifford Neill 2005-2024 Music: 1. Norwood Tew - If I could bring back my buddy /episode/index/show/500stories/id/30171938

Podcast #32 stories 176-184 04/15/2022

Podcast #32 stories 176-184 Stories: 1. Mr. Neill goes anti-car 2. Mr. Neill is a moving target 3. A field trip to downtown Chicago 4. Louis jumps off a bridge 5. A mound of ungraded papers 6. Digital record keeping failure 7. Everyone’s happy with their math grade 8. Mrs. Sorenson handles her business 9. Drug deal in the kid’s bathroom Music: 1. Red Jessup and His Melody Makers - Trouble don’t like music 2. Lonnie Johnson - Lonesome road 2. Wiley and Gene - Bothered by the blues /episode/index/show/500stories/id/22642400

Podcast #31 stories 170-175 04/01/2022

Podcast #31 stories 170-175 Stories: 1. The Neills start to walk and talk 2. The unstoppable Mrs. Neill goes back to school 3. Drunk Leslie and sober Leslie are two different people 4. Lowballing Leslie 5. The scheme to live for two years without an income 6. Four results from a season of poverty Music: 1. Wingy Mannone - My sweet Lorraine 2. Golden Gate Quartet - High low and wide /episode/index/show/500stories/id/22585946

Podcast #30 stories 161-169 03/15/2022

Podcast #30 stories 161-169 Stories: 1. Prilosec Blues 2. Strange things are afoot in Buenos Aires 3. Mr. Neill gets to the root of the problem 4. Two wonderful docs that gave bad advice 5. One terrible doc that gave good advice 6. Seven reasons the good advice doc was terrible 7. Asia experiences Catholicism 8. Mr. Neill and Asia go to church 9. Preacher-man eventually drives the ball deep Music: 1. Sharkey and his Sharks of Rhythm - Give me an old fashioned swing 2. Jake and Carl - When the white azaleas start blooming /episode/index/show/500stories/id/22350812

Podcast #29 stories 153-160 03/01/2022

Podcast #29 stories 153-160 Stories: 1. Labor day, 1977 2. The reluctant bed wetter 3. They didn’t love “Lucky” 4. The legend of Lynn 5. Elderly parents 6. Watching punk rock with Lynn 7. The wonders of Kansas City 8. An aging Lynn only wants to bowl Music: 1. King Oliver and his Orchestra - St. James infirmary /episode/index/show/500stories/id/22142588

Podcast #28 stories 145-152 (Something New documentary) 02/15/2022

Podcast #28 stories 145-152 (Something New documentary) Stories: 1. Mr. Neill gets knocked out 2. Three reasons to be in Toledo 3. Watching TV on February 10, 1990 4. Chris opts out 5. Song tapes 6. Mr. Neill gets cornered 7. Mr. Neill gets serious in Columbus 8. Mr. Neill asks a heavy question Music: 1. Bill Carlisle's Kentucky Boys - Roll on old troubles roll on 2. Something New 1998 - All is well with me 3. Something New 2002 - Jesus I live to Thee /episode/index/show/500stories/id/22142534

Podcast #27 stories 135-144 02/01/2022

Podcast #27 stories 135-144 Stories: 1. The legend of Uncle Noel 2. George has magic dumbbells 3. George hacks his gaming console 4. On the 3rd try, Mr. Neill learns not to overwhelm his kids 5. George is a miner 6. Katt's book vanishes 7. Brian misses Iowa 8. Conrad flips 9. The virgin hot tub 10. Mr. Neill fails to ask an important question Music: 1. Stephen Grappelly and His Hot Four with Django Reinhardt - Clouds 2. Riverside Ramblers - Dissatisfied /episode/index/show/500stories/id/21647402

Podcast #26 stories 132-134 01/15/2022

Podcast #26 stories 132-134 Stories: 1. Yelling “fleas” into a phone 2. Thompson presses a button 3. White Cadillac, tinted windows 4. Looking through binoculars Music: 1. Wingy Manone - Formal night in Harlem /episode/index/show/500stories/id/21647384

Podcast #25 stories 127-131 01/01/2022

Podcast #25 stories 127-131 Stories: 1. Career day has Mr. Neill wanting to change careers 2. Mr. Avellini, Mr. Bob Avellini 3. Mr. Wendy’s doesn’t pay taxes 4. Rufus reps Gary Sheffield 5. Shawn Baldwin has never watched Friends 6. Mr. Baldwin helps out the math department Music: 1. Bud Freeman and His Famous Chicagoans - After awhile /episode/index/show/500stories/id/21647366

Podcast #24 stories 118-126 (Gamblers rockumentary) 12/15/2021

Podcast #24 stories 118-126 (Gamblers rockumentary) Stories: 1. Guitar lessons and image repair 2. A phone call changes Mr. Neill's mind 3. Buying and selling shares in a band 4. Playing at Phyllis' 5. Nan gives a pep talk 6. 4x4 tries to mow down eggers 7. Bullying bandmates into recording 3 songs 8. Kirk wins back the love of his life 9. Old man hates to jam /episode/index/show/500stories/id/21337676

Podcast #23 stories 113-117 12/01/2021

Podcast #23 stories 113-117 Stories: 1. Giving bricks to eccentric people 2. Larry David and his castle 3. The pee jug 4. Sorry, no 3 million dollars for you 5. A debris hauler misses his dad Music: 1. Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald - The frim fram sauce 2. Shelton Brothers - Just because /episode/index/show/500stories/id/21222509

Podcast #22 stories 104-112 11/15/2021

Podcast #22 stories 104-112 Stories: 1. Hangin’ with Marty 2. The name is Mark, not Marty 3. Roaches in Kentucky 4. Rats at 911 S. Carpenter 5. The bicentennial club 6. Old Irving Park circa 1976 7. Bethie’s sister ain’t having it 8. Block parties 9. Groceries at Jay Bees Music: 1. Beale Street Boys - Back alley blues 2. Riverside Ramblers - Wondering /episode/index/show/500stories/id/21013931

Podcast #21 stories 96-103 11/01/2021

Podcast #21 stories 96-103 Stories: 1. Shut up ya crackhead 2. Elite modeling 3. Horton leaves no stone unturned 4. Horton shovels elephant poo 5. Stories will make a teacher human 6. Chitlins 7. A month on Amtrak 8. Bread Music: 1. Big Bill - Cotton choppin' blues 2. Gene Gifford and His Orchestra - Nothin' but the blues /episode/index/show/500stories/id/21011147

Podcast #20 stories 79-95 10/24/2021

Podcast #20 stories 79-95 Stories: 1. CC will kill Mr. Neill if he calls him CC 2. What's it like being in a gang 3. CC pays his debt to society 4. The name is Jim, not Bub 5. Jim sleeps on our couch and gives out jobs 6. Jim can't afford to be sore 7. Jim was teaching, but it was as if he wasn't there 8. Giving Jim some business advice 9. Mrs. Neill quits her job and Mr. Neill has to scramble 10. Three career paths 11. Mr. Neill forgets the golden rule of banking 12. Learning new education jargon 13. Learning how to code from a scammy sounding website 14. Eating pizza to celebrate the light at the end of the tunnel 15. A return to teaching 16. Mr. Neill joins a bootcamp 17. 748 Warrington Avenue Music: 1. Hal Paige and his Blues Boys - Big foot May 2. Delmore Brothers - Blues stay away from me 3. Little Son Joe - Black rat swing 4. Doc Sausage and His Mad Lads - She don't want me no more /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20916314

Podcast #19 stories 69-78 10/20/2021

Podcast #19 stories 69-78 Stories: 1. The kindest and unkindest words 2. The legend of Derek Jurina 3. Open mic night at Club Cafe 4. The blind comedian 5. Actor-cop 6. Call and response with a Yiddish rapper 7. Sunglasses so your boss can't see 8. Oversported 9. A jazz pianist with too many records 10. A very foul ball Music: 1. Oldmanneill - Derek Jurina 2. Ray Ball & His Guitar - Oklahoma, land of the sunny west 3. Joe Werner and Ramblers - Dreaming /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20874875

Podcast #18 stories 67-68 10/12/2021

Podcast #18 stories 67-68 A socially inept man learns to ride a unicycle in public. Later he whittles a stick with a giant knife until a gunshot breaks his concentration. Mr. Neill will not talk to this man. Nor will he talk to anyone who listens to Night Moves. Stories: A strange man on a unicycle Night Moves Music: […] The post Podcast #18 stories 67-68 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838362

Podcast #17 stories 60-66 03/29/2020

Podcast #17 stories 60-66 Despite his sharp looking sports coat, a long haired Mr. Neill is accused of stealing his dying boss’ glasses. It’s the sort of thing a man who pees in the snow would do. Meanwhile a blind sub has no idea that his school has rats. Stories: Dr. Sharon Rae Bender thinks Mr. Neill peed in […] The post Podcast #17 stories 60-66 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838365

Podcast #16 stories 57-59 03/14/2020

Podcast #16 stories 57-59 Mr. Neill has an epiphany at 2pm while rooting against his hometown baseball team. In a state of feverish delirium, he accidentally lands a dream job. He knows he has landed the job because he finds $10 on the ground. Stories: 10 months of theological studies Aimless musings after a week in bed The dream […] The post Podcast #16 stories 57-59 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838368

Podcast #15 stories 53-56 02/26/2018

Podcast #15 stories 53-56 A voice from heaven tells Carol to stop beating her kids. A heavenly fireball ends the party. Mr. Neill is shunned after insulting a man’s meat and his beer while a runaway trunk cancels a sale. Stories: Carol, stop beating your kids A fireball breaks up a party A man’s beer and his meat are […] The post Podcast #15 stories 53-56 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838371

Podcast #14 stories 49-52 02/16/2018

Podcast #14 stories 49-52 D.O.G. hopes to shed his vegetarian ways. Pete wants to free the weed, perhaps in celebration of Gina’s birthday. Meanwhile, the hacky sack boss mops up the spilled beer of a house shopper. Stories: A potential home buyer takes a tumble Become popular by playing hacky sack A dog named D.O.G. Free the weed 78′s: […] The post Podcast #14 stories 49-52 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838374

Podcast #13 stories 45-48 06/21/2016

Podcast #13 stories 45-48 Mr. Neill visits four restaurants. A waitress confounds him while another documents him. A drastic career change is announced. In a shocking twist, Mrs. Neill settles for pork. Stories: A Dory-like waitress (Argentine) Dad, I want to rap (Burmese) A flip phone videographer (Sri Lankan) But this is pork (Chinese) Intermission music by Zachary Neill The post Podcast #13 stories 45-48 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838377

Podcast #12 stories 42-44 11/19/2014

Podcast #12 stories 42-44 A pothead claims that Mr. Neill is housing Spongebob’s DNA. What would Hank do? Probably shoot the pothead. What would Mr. Neill do if he had continued his video game addiction? Probably shoot the pothead. Stories: Spongebob grew up in my house Hank wants to sing hymns and shoot guns The perils of video game […] The post Podcast #12 stories 42-44 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838380

Podcast #11 stories 39-41 02/16/2014

Podcast #11 stories 39-41 Mr. Neill receives sage advice from both sides of the law. Yet questions remain. Can a mansion have just one bedroom? What if the lawn you wanted was no lawn at all? And what if having no lawn took you off the grid? Stories: The mansion at 3030 Elroy St. The lawn he wants is […] The post Podcast #11 stories 39-41 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838383

Podcast #10 stories 36-38 08/15/2013

Podcast #10 stories 36-38 A demented radio doctor retards Mr. Neill’s academic development. Evidence of his stunted growth quickly manifest in a not-so scientific “cocolate” chip cookie experiment. Stories: Tell us more about the texture of popcorn A Weird Al singalong Churro bites a longboarder down in Buenos Aires 78’s Cliff Carlisle – It takes the old hen to […] The post Podcast #10 stories 36-38 appeared first on The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill. /episode/index/show/500stories/id/20838386

The 500 Stories of Mr. Neill

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