The Pleasure Principal
I'm Tammy Fisher, a seasoned relationship and sex therapist. It's my life's mission to dismantle the chains of oppression, pain, and shame often tied to sexual pleasure. Join me as we delve into personal stories, expert insights, and practical tips designed to empower you to overcome these barriers and step into a world of self-acceptance, freedom, and overall health.
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Female Desire Myths with Jen Meyer
02/16/2026
Female Desire Myths with Jen Meyer
Tammy welcomes sex and relationship therapist Jen Meyer to The Pleasure Principal today to discuss female sexuality and desire. They share their professional connection through sex therapy training and study-abroad experiences with Sexual Health Alliance. The conversation covers common myths and misconceptions women encounter, including shame about wanting sex, beliefs that men always have higher libido, that women shouldn’t masturbate, that sex must equal love, and that orgasm is required. They discuss how cultural conditioning and sex education often make sex other-focused, emphasizing reproduction and male ejaculation while neglecting female pleasure, and how the absence of messaging about sex still communicates shame. Jen explains that sex is not a biological “drive” like hunger or sleep, but part of an incentive motivation system where people have different reasons for engaging (pleasure, emotional connection, stress relief, reaffirming vitality, spirituality, playfulness, or trying to conceive). They describe how women often seek therapy to “fix” themselves for a partner, and Jen emphasizes starting with a client’s relationship to their own sexuality, including exploration, permission, and safety through structured assessment and a full sex history to avoid trauma landmines. Jen reviews key sexual response models: Masters and Johnson’s biological phases (without desire), Helen Kaplan’s introduction of desire as a first phase, and Rosemary Basson’s model introducing responsive desire alongside spontaneous desire. They normalize that many people experience responsive desire—desire that emerges after pleasurable stimulation—and discuss factors that support it, including consent and openness (not obligation sex), pleasure without orgasm pressure, focus, and time. They also introduce the dual control model (accelerators and brakes), noting the importance of understanding both turn-ons and turn-offs, especially when sex is associated with pain or other inhibitors. They reference Emily Nagoski’s work (Come As You Are) and discuss research-based patterns of desire while emphasizing that desire can shift across life stages and that no one is “wrong.” They close by highlighting communication as a bridge to intimacy and “magnificent sex.” Jen shares that she can be found at jenmeyertherapy.com. 00:00 Welcome & Introducing Sex Therapist Jen Meyer 01:30 Why Female Desire Gets Shut Down: Shame, “Good Girl” Rules & Libido Myths 04:16 Watering the Garden: Staying Connected to Desire Through Life Stages 06:34 How Sex Ed Fails Women: Other-Focused Pleasure & Missing Models 08:56 Sex Isn’t a “Drive”: The Incentive Motivation System Explained 11:49 When Sex Is for the Partner: Rebuilding Self-Connection & Desire Discrepancy 15:39 Therapy Approach: Sex History, Safety, and Implicit vs. Explicit Messages 19:07 A Quick History of Sexual Response Models (Masters & Johnson → Kaplan) 22:24 Media Expectations, Gender Norms & The Shift Toward Responsive Desire (Bassan) 25:58 Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire: Why “Not in the Mood” Can Still Lead to Wanting Sex 27:32 Turning Knowledge Into Language: Why Sex Education Concepts Matter 28:14 How to Start When Desire Is Low: Openness, Exploration, and Investing Time 30:05 Make Pleasure the Goal: The “Party” Analogy and Starting Beyond Sex 31:28 Self-Compassion & Receiving Pleasure: Removing the Internal Blocks 32:36 Responsive Desire Foundations: Consent Without Obligation + Pleasure Without Pressure 36:20 Focus, Time, and Context: Getting Out of Your Head and Into Your Body 37:53 Brakes & Accelerators: Dual Control Model and Identifying Turn-Ons vs Turn-Offs 41:42 Normalizing Desire Differences: Stats, Relationship Shifts, and “You’re Not Wrong” 46:51 Co-Creating Intimacy: Communication, Venn Diagrams, and “Magnificent Sex” (Wrap-Up) Work with Tammy at Class isn’t over yet. Explore resources, shop The Principal’s Collection, and stay connected here: 👉
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Narcissism in Relationships with Sharon Bien
01/31/2024
Narcissism in Relationships with Sharon Bien
This episode of The Pleasure Principal features Licensed Professional Counselor, Sharon Bien. Sharon is a highly skilled counselor holding a Master of Arts in Counseling from St. Edwards University in Austin. With a strong commitment to professional growth, Sharon has pursued additional comprehensive training in areas such as the body's stress response, trauma processing, and the application of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy. Throughout her career, Sharon has provided valuable support to adolescents, adults, and families facing a wide range of life challenges. These include anxiety, depression, codependency, life transitions, marital and relationship conflicts, addiction, serious mental illness, ADHD management, parenting concerns, behavioral management, and trauma recovery. Sharon's expertise in narcissistic abuse recovery stems from her own personal journey of moving from surviving to thriving. This transformative experience sparked her passion to gain a profound understanding of the various forms of narcissism, including those that are elusive, as well as the cycle of narcissistic abuse. Her unwavering commitment is to guide others through their own paths of survival and healing. Currently, she is authoring a book on this subject, sharing her wisdom and insights with those in need. Sharon runs an on-line private practice, A New View Counseling, PLLC, in Austin, Texas. https://www.sharonbienlpc.com/
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Destigmatizing Herpes with Courtney Brame
12/26/2023
Destigmatizing Herpes with Courtney Brame
In this episode we are talking to Courtney Brame and his mission to destigmatize STIs with a focus on Herpes (HSV-2). This is a topic that is often avoided due to shame, judgment or overall emotional discomfort, even though it is more common than you think. It is estimated that worldwide - 1 out of 6 people are living with HSV-2. Courtney combines his personal journey, curiosity, and presence to destigmatize this prevalent health condition and provide support to individuals grappling with the diagnosis or supporting someone who is. Courtney W. Brame is a sexual and mental health advocate for people struggling with their positive herpes status. Diagnosed with the virus himself in 2013, he stumbled through the stigma from all sides, including communication with health care providers, potential sexual partners, family, friends, and most important — his relationship to himself. This was brought to light in 2017 when Courtney began researching herpes groups, only to find others struggling with their diagnosis to the point of expressing suicide ideation. This led to the weekly interviews on his podcast, , which is now a 501c3 nonprofit organization that offers mentorship, , along with the free support for people navigating all aspects of herpes stigma. Website: IG: @courtneybrame_ TikTok: @courtneybrame_ Podcast: Something Positive for Positive People Check out Courtney’s Inaugural Herpes Conference to learn more about HSV-S, find support and gain community!! Conference:
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Mom's Sexual Evolution
10/24/2023
Mom's Sexual Evolution
Welcome to the inaugural episode of The Pleasure Principal, where we take a deep dive into the world of sexual exploration, self-discovery, and the right to pleasure. In this episode, we have a truly special guest - my own mother. We'll be journeying through her personal sexual evolution, from the silent household she grew up in where the subject was taboo, to the societal messages that tainted her perception with guilt and anxiety - "good girls don't do that." We'll delve into her struggles with discomfort and pain and ultimately, her triumphant embrace of her inherent right to pleasure. This episode promises to be a compelling narrative of transformation, grit, and a woman's refusal to be shackled by societal norms. So, buckle up as we embark on this remarkable journey, and remember, the right to pleasure is not a luxury, but a necessity.
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