Andrew Petty is Dying

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and neglect the things that matter most. On Andrew Petty is Dying, life and leadership coach, Andrew Petty, helps us live our best lives now and escape deathbed regrets by tapping into the most powerful motivator of all--our Mortality. Join Andrew every two weeks for insights that cut through the clutter and interviews with fascinating people to help you become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live.

Ep. 098 | The Brave Habit: Cultivating Bravery in Daily Life, with Todd Henry 03/26/2024

Ep. 098 | The Brave Habit: Cultivating Bravery in Daily Life, with Todd Henry What is bravery, and why is it so important? What are some of the common counterfeits of bravery? How can we detect and eliminate them from our own lives? How can we get braver? As an “arms dealer for the creative revolution," is the author of seven books and a veteran podcaster of 19 years who speaks internationally on creativity, productivity, and passion for work, and helps people and teams generate brilliant ideas. Todd's new book, The Brave Habit, is a concise, persuasive, and timely treatise on bravery. In today's conversation, we explore bravery through the lens of The Brave Habit in pursuit of actionable insights for all of us. Todd also shares how an encounter with Mortality when he was 15 radically altered his perception of risk and what's most important. I first invited Todd to be on the show in early 2020. The timing wasn't right for a variety of reasons, though, and then COVID hit and all bets were off for a while. I'm grateful four years later to be able to bring you Todd's wisdom and insights today. In this episode, you will learn how to: Cultivate authentic bravery in your daily life to unlock more of your potential in service to others. Overcome fear by taking action and embrace the exhilarating freedom on the other side. Embrace the impact of mortality on life choices and discover the transformative power it holds. Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:00 - The Deceptive Nature of Fear 00:00:54 - Importance of Bravery 00:02:04 - Cultivating the Brave Habit 00:04:43 - Todd Henry's Journey to Brave Habit 00:07:38 - The Definition of Bravery 00:13:40 - Starting Over with Daily Creative 00:14:44 - The Right Thing to Do 00:17:32 - Bravery as a Habit 00:18:53 - Close Encounter with Mortality 00:23:32 - Connecting with Todd Henry's Work Remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Let’s Connect Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Todd | | | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/30505138

Ep. 097 | Evolve: Create an Ending to Make Way for a New Beginning 02/26/2024

Ep. 096 | Look Up, Let Go, and Live, with Chris Ray 02/12/2024

Ep. 096 | Look Up, Let Go, and Live, with Chris Ray Do you ever feel powerless against your hurts, hang-ups, and habits? Chris Ray's hurts, hang-ups, and habits literally killed him. Remarkably, his encounter with Mortality wasn't permanent, and Chris returned transformed. Chris is no longer powerless against his hurts, hang-ups, and habits because he has learned to look up and let go. If we have ears to hear, we can learn the same lessons from Chris’ story without a harrowing ordeal of our own. If we have the courage to add Action to our Insights, we can experience transformation, too. I met Chris through a mutual friend here in Steamboat. His warmth, openness, and lack of pretense were simultaneously a bit disarming and a refreshing change. Chris exudes his unique brand of warmth, openness, and lack of pretense, but I realize that it's a combination of qualities that I often encounter in those in the Recovery community. It occurs to me, too, that I belong to that community now, due to the alcohol-free Adventure I've embarked on in 2024. I certainly don't claim to embody those qualities yet like Chris does, but I hope to someday, and Chris is a wonderful role model in that respect. Tune in to , to learn more about my recovery journey en route to considering how you can go beyond resolutions to your best year yet, too. I would be remiss if I didn't publicly thank Chris for his part in encouraging me to accept this new Call to Adventure. In this episode, discover how a brush with death led to an unexpected journey of adventure and self-discovery. Follow Chris' path from addiction to recovery and to a life-changing retreat in Costa Rica. Hear how looking up and letting go transformed his perspective on life, and find out why he decided to drop social media altogether. This is not just a travel story – it's a powerful lesson in embracing the unknown and finding peace through letting go. And the best part? Chris is not done yet. This is Part 1 of 2–before and after the Costa Rica Adventure. Tune in to find out what he's discovering about himself and how it could inspire your own journey. Some Key Moments: 00:00:00 - Facing Mortality and Recovery Journey 00:03:20 - Transformative Recovery Journey 00:08:14 - Soboat's Growth and Impact 00:12:47 - Galvanizing Near-Death Experience 00:13:41 - Spiritual Awakening and Rebirth 00:14:14 - Surrendering to Something Greater 00:17:38 - Wrestling with Experience 00:19:31 - Appreciating Life After Encountering Death 00:23:02 - Dependence on a Higher Power 00:27:45 - Embracing Faith and Intuition 00:29:37 - The Search for Balance 00:32:28 - Redemptive Effects of Suffering 00:33:01 - The Call to Adventure 00:39:53 - Embracing the Present and Letting Go 00:42:25 - Gaining Perspective and Embracing Community 00:44:11 - Embracing Involuntary and Voluntary Adventures 00:45:32 - Post-Costa Rica Adventure 00:46:36 - Hero's Journey and Personal Growth 00:47:30 - Curiosity and Mundane Adventures 00:51:27 - Disconnecting and Embracing the Unknown Do the Work, Just Don’t Try to Do It Alone Look up, let go, and live! Only you can do the work, but you can't do the work alone. None of us can. I always offer one free coaching session. to schedule your free session. Thank you for your time, attention, and trust. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends. I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying--Lord willin' and the creek don't rise! How Did This Episode Land for You? I'd love to know. Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Chris | | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too New to Andrew Petty is Dying? Welcome! I invite you to browse the archive of past interviews with fascinating people and short, topical solo episodes--all designed to equip you with the mindset and the means to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. We flip the script by inviting our ancient foe, Death, to become an unlikely ally in our heroic journey to leave it all out on the field of life. Turns out, Mortality might just be the best motivator available--blasting us out of our ambivalence and complacency and toward the fullness of our potential. /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/29879113

Ep. 095 | How to Become Someone You Feel Genuinely Good About 01/29/2024

Ep. 095 | How to Become Someone You Feel Genuinely Good About Who are you? A big question, for sure, and not a slow pitch over the plate for most of us. But it’s a pitch that is critical for us to get good at hitting. As of this recording, I’m just a couple days removed from the first Growth Camp of 2024, where we plumbed the time-proven depths of the Hero’s Journey framework to go beyond resolutions and discover a heroic path to our best year yet. Once again, the importance of who we are–that is, the quality of our character and our responses in life’s defining moments–rose to the surface and stayed there, demanding our attention, resisting our instinctive attempts to boil life down to a set of tips, tricks, hacks, and strategies; and calling us to become even better humans. I’ve tackled the question of who we are before. In fact, in one way or another, every episode of this podcast is about who we are. I tackled this topic directly, though, in episodes and , a two-part series devoted to what I call The Big 6–essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. In this episode, I pull the Big 6 from the proverbial back burner to the front burner to reheat them for all of us. The path illuminated for us by The Big 6 isn’t sexy, it’s not easy, and it’s paved with discomfort. But this path corresponds with Reality and leads to meaning, purpose, true significance, and becoming someone we feel genuinely good about. Arduous as it may be, I find that path preferable to one divorced from Reality that ultimately leads to meaninglessness, purposelessness, insignificance, and becoming someone I genuinely despise. Tune in for the guts of the original two episodes on the Big 6 combined into one episode and reset in the context of key qualities that will lead us to feel genuinely good about who we are and lead a life of meaning, purpose, and significance. Remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! I Have a Favor to Ask I want this show to reach many more people. If it has been helpful to you, I invite you to share it with others for their benefit. It can be as simple as texting an episode that was meaningful to you to a friend. For extra credit, post an episode on social media. This is where the marketing folks would probably say I should incentivize you with a freebie of some sort. But I’m going to appeal to a different part of you instead–the higher and even better part of you that finds joy and fulfillment in simply improving other people’s lives and knowing that their improvement ripples outward to the rest of the world. Thank you! I’m grateful for your trust, time, and attention. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. How can I Help? Let’s Connect. I’d love to meet you and be of service. I offer one free coaching session. . Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/29669378

Ep. 094 | Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet 01/15/2024

Ep. 094 | Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet Each new year presents the opportunity for a new adventure. Often we start out strong but fizzle in a month or two. Our fragile resolve sabotages even our most well-intended and heartfelt resolutions. We need something stronger than our own resolve and more reliable than our resolutions. As we kick off a new year, I invite you to go with me beyond resolutions to find a heroic path to your best year yet. In this episode, you will: Learn about the Hero’s Journey. Be equipped to embark on a transformative journey through the Hero's journey framework. Discover a path to profound inner transformation. Discover the power of going beyond resolutions. Explore the path to personal growth and adventure. Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:00 - New Year, New Adventure 00:01:41 - The Hero's Journey Framework 00:06:51 - Alcohol-free: My New Adventure in 2024 00:09:51 - Call to Adventure 00:13:53 - Embracing the Call to Adventure 00:16:03 - The Nature of the Adventure 00:17:31 - Enlisting Companions and Allies 00:21:28 - Invitation to Go Beyond Resolutions & Find Your Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet Join me Saturday, January 20, 9am - 5pm, at the first Growth Camp of 2024, called Beyond Resolutions: A Heroic Path to Your Best Year Yet. You will tap into the timeless wisdom of the Hero’s Journey to acquire a trustworthy compass and the right resources for your best year yet. In-person and virtual options are available, so don’t let a little thing like geography get in your way. This year, go beyond resolutions and embark on a new adventure. Don't just dream of change; unleash the hero within and make your dreams a reality. Secure your spot at Growth Camp, and kick off your New Year with unprecedented clarity, courage, and purpose. Let’s Connect Find me on , and , visit , or . Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/29471773

Ep 093 | Tap into the Transformative Power of Pain, with Audrey Dwyer 12/04/2023

Ep 093 | Tap into the Transformative Power of Pain, with Audrey Dwyer Are you tired of feeling stuck and overwhelmed in the face of life's challenges? Have you tried to push away pain and ignore its lessons, only to find yourself feeling even more lost and disconnected? It's time to break free from the ineffective pattern of avoiding pain and embrace it as a powerful teacher. By leaning into the discomfort and allowing ourselves to learn from our pain, we open the door to personal growth and resilience. It's time to rewrite your story and discover the transformative power of embracing pain as a teacher. In this episode, you will: Discover how Audrey Dwyer's personal journey can inspire resilience and personal growth. Learn the transformative power of embracing pain as a teacher for personal development. Explore the journey of overcoming addiction and trauma and finding hope for the future. Uncover secrets to finding purpose and making a meaningful difference in your life and the lives of others. Tap into the transformative power of vulnerability and its impact on personal growth and resilience. My special guest is Audrey Dwyer Audrey has faced and overcome numerous challenges in her life. From addiction to a life-changing heart surgery, her story is a testament to the power of embracing pain as a teacher. Audrey has gained valuable insights into the transformative nature of pain and the potential it holds for personal growth and resilience, and they’re available to all of us in today’s conversation. Audrey's story serves as a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there is always the opportunity for redemption and growth. You’ll be inspired and empowered to face life's challenges with courage and resilience so you can secure the treasures available to you on the other side. Key moments in this episode include: 00:01:01 - Audrey's Story Begins 00:05:17 - Hospitalization and Heart Surgery 00:08:02 - Recovery and Reflection 00:09:46 - Current Journey and Recovery 00:12:54 - Coping Mechanisms and Family Dynamics 00:14:18 - Lack of Communication and Emotional Expression 00:15:27 - The Importance of Talking About Loss 00:18:15 - The Impact of Avoidance and Regret 00:19:09 - Embracing Life and Taking Control 00:25:26 - The Importance of Commitment 00:26:39 - The Challenges of Commitment 00:29:47 - The Journey to Self-Commitment 00:31:30 - Overcoming Chaos and Finding Clarity 00:33:43 - Love Your Scars and Embracing Challenges 00:39:00 - Finding Healing and Acceptance 00:40:39 - Overcoming the Lowest Low 00:41:53 - Embracing the Beginner's Mindset 00:43:52 - Love Your Scars Movement 00:48:12 - Embracing the Messy Middle 00:52:37 - Moving Towards the What 00:53:33 - Author of Your Own Story 00:54:04 - Courage in Vulnerability 00:55:14 - Connecting with Audrey 00:56:14 - Embracing Mortality Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it! Until We Meet Again–Lord Willin’ and the Creek Don’t Rise! This is the final episode of 2023. I look forward to resuming the Adventure of tapping into the power of our Mortality in 2024. Until then, I wish you and yours a very happy holiday season. Revel in the moment. Seize the day. Keep in mind what matters most. Summon the courage to say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, and live like there's no tomorrow. For those of you who missed Growth Camp 2023, stay tuned for details about the first Growth Camp of 2024, coming in January. It's a perfect way to kickstart your year and put yourself on a path of unprecedented Purpose and Adventure. Thank you once again for your time, trust, and attention, today and throughout 2023. It's a privilege and a pleasure to be invited into your lives and hearts and minds as, together, we pursue deeper understanding about how to conduct ourselves in the world to get the best results with our lives. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next year on Andrew Petty is Dying--Lord willin' and the creek don't rise! Let’s Connect Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Audrey | | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/28897118

Ep. 092 | Crack the Contentment Code: Find the Path to Contentment 11/20/2023

Ep. 092 | Crack the Contentment Code: Find the Path to Contentment If you're feeling trapped in a cycle of constant striving and never reaching true contentment, you’re not alone. Maybe you've been chasing external achievements, thinking they will bring you lasting fulfillment, only to find that they leave you empty inside. Perhaps you've been seeking validation from others, hoping that their approval will bring you a sense of worth, only to discover that it's fleeting and insubstantial. Or maybe you've been relentlessly pursuing material possessions, believing they will bring you happiness, only to realize that they only provide temporary satisfaction. But there is another way to find contentment, one that involves cultivating a deep sense of purpose and inner peace that transcends external circumstances. In this episode, you will: Discover the key to finding contentment and unlock a fulfilling life. Embrace personal growth and purpose to create a meaningful and satisfying journey. Cultivate positivity and practice possession to experience true happiness and fulfillment. Address discontentment head-on and learn how to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace. Explore the power of embracing mortality and gain a new perspective on what truly matters in life. It's a pleasure to welcome my wife, Charis, back as my special guest to help us crack the contentment code. Through personal anecdotes and practical strategies, Charis and I will help you uncover the main reasons contentment eludes us and provide actionable steps to crack the contentment code. The key moments in this episode are: 00:00:00 - The Importance of Contentment 00:02:31 - Defining Contentment 00:03:47 - Contentment Can't Be Found by Looking for It 00:10:57 - The Role of Gratitude in Contentment 00:13:51 - The Paradox of Finding Contentment 00:14:39 - Persevering to Find Contentment 00:15:42 - The Recipe for Contentment 00:16:41 - Embracing Scars and Wounds 00:18:06 - The Big Questions in Life 00:27:35 - Overcoming Fear and Finding Confidence 00:30:10 - Different Learning Styles and Paths 00:32:16 - Valuing Differences and Building Confidence 00:35:01 - Owning and Integrating Our Stories 00:37:13 - Practicing Presence and Possession 00:43:21 - Contentment Beyond Circumstances 00:44:29 - Cultivating Positivity 00:46:36 - Embracing Action and Forward Movement 00:55:15 - Finding the Source of Discontentment 00:56:02 - Consequences of Ignoring Discontentment 00:57:00 - Embracing Mortality 00:58:15 - Taking Tangible Action 01:00:04 - Cracking the Code to the Contentment Conundrum I Can Help With Mortality as our motivator, this podcast exists to help you cultivate the mindset and the means to live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. That’s my purpose as a coach, too. Find me on , and , visit , or . to learn about Graveyard Group masterminds--where we make time each week to invest in your life's most important work. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/28712508

Ep 091 | My Hero’s Journey: Lessons Learned on the Road to Growth Camp 2023 11/06/2023

Ep. 090 | A Tale of Two Mountaineers: How Comfort Sabotages Our Contentment, and What to Do About It 10/23/2023

Ep. 090 | A Tale of Two Mountaineers: How Comfort Sabotages Our Contentment, and What to Do About It Do you desire genuine fulfillment and contentment? Are you searching for a way to achieve true satisfaction and inner peace? In this episode, I'll reveal an antidote to discontentment. By embracing the hero's journey, you can unlock the path towards lasting contentment, breaking free from the sabotaging clutches of comfort and convenience. It's simple in principle, but far from easy in reality. Perhaps that's why so many of us avoid it. But don't let that be you. Wide (and easy!) is the way that leads to discontentment, and many find it. Narrow (and hard!) is the way that leads to contentment and becoming someone you genuinely feel good about. Take the narrow way! In this episode, you will learn how to: Discover the transformative power of embracing the hero's journey to find true fulfillment and purpose in life. Uncover the surprising truth about mistaking comfort for fulfillment and learn how to break free from the cycle to find lasting contentment. Explore the importance of pursuing goals and personal growth, and learn strategies to overcome obstacles and achieve your dreams. Understand how hardships is the way to profound personal transformation, and gain insights on how to navigate challenges with resilience and grace. Embrace living with urgency and learn how to pursue your dreams with passion and determination, creating a life filled with meaning and satisfaction. Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:01 - The Reasons for Discontentment 00:02:10 - Steve's Decision 00:05:04 - Laura's Triumph 00:07:02 - Base Camp vs. the Summit 00:08:33 - Becoming the Hero of Your Own Story Your Companion for the Journey This episode draws upon the truths embedded in the Hero’s Journey, an ancient pathway for a life of purpose and adventure. To learn more about the Hero’s Journey, tune in to Ep. 086, , where my guest, Jon Ritner, and I introduce you to the Hero’s Journey through the lenses of our own stories. I’m here to help you summon the clarity and courage to embark on the Hero’s Journey that’s calling to you and stay the course. Connect with me on , and , visit , or . Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/28384439

Ep. 089 | Unleashing Your Potential: Chris Slota's Journey to a Purposeful Life 10/09/2023

Ep. 089 | Unleashing Your Potential: Chris Slota's Journey to a Purposeful Life Have you been told that the key to building a fulfilling and meaningful life is to simply follow the conventional path and do what society expects of you? Here's the hard truth: By blindly following this path, you may be feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and lacking a sense of purpose. It's time to break free from these limiting beliefs and discover your true passions, unlocking the potential for personal growth and transformation. Meet Chris Slota Chris Slota embodies the essence of personal growth and transformation. With a background in the corporate world, Chris found himself at a crossroads, feeling unfulfilled and yearning for something more. Through his journey of self-discovery, he made the courageous decision to explore his true passions and create an even more purposeful life. Chris's story is a testament to the power of answering the question, "What do you want?" and the incredible impact it can have on our overall well-being and fulfillment. Join Andrew Petty and Chris as they delve into the stages of the Hero's Journey and discuss the practical wisdom that Chris gained along the way. Get ready to be inspired by Chris's remarkable personal transformation and learn valuable insights for building a fulfilling and meaningful life. You are in control of your own life. If you want to wallow in sorrow, you are welcome to do so. It's a free country, but you're probably not going to get anywhere if you do it. - Chris Slota In this episode, you will learn how to: Unleash your potential for personal growth and transformation and unlock a life filled with endless possibilities. Take ownership of your life by understanding the importance of taking responsibility for your actions and choices. Embrace change with open arms and shed old ways that no longer serve you, paving the way for personal growth and transformation. Discover some of the keys to fulfillment and meaning in life, leading to a sense of purpose and joy in everything you do. Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness and Success Taking responsibility for your happiness and success is crucial in the quest for self-improvement. Instead of blaming circumstances or other people, acknowledge and embrace your power to shape your life. Active participation in your life pushes you towards achieving your aspirations, resonating with Chris Slota's story of personal transformation, pursuit of passions, and overall happiness. Next Steps Join Growth Camp 2023 on October 14th to equip yourself with the tools to build a life of even more purpose and Adventure. Explore the Hero's Journey framework for living a good life with a capital G. Learn how to live a life of adventure and make unique contributions in the world. Reflect on the question "What do you want?" and take the time to answer it. Don't just focus on what you don't want, but truly explore your desires and aspirations. Consider the potential consequences of failing to answer this question. Consider joining a Graveyard Group to help navigate personal transformations and find clarity in life. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who can support and guide you on your journey. Embrace the power of your Mortality and use it as a focal point to envision the life you want to live. Timestamped Summary of this Episode 00:01:09 - The Hero's Journey Andrew discusses the Hero's Journey framework as a template for living a purposeful life and making unique contributions in the world. He mentions that Growth Camp will leverage this framework to help listeners become the hero in their own story. 00:03:14 - Chris Slota's Story Andrew introduces Chris Slota and explains that Chris experienced a remarkable personal transformation by figuring out what he wants in life. He highlights the importance of answering the question, "What do you want?" and how it can lead to purpose and fulfillment. 00:05:17 - Challenging Times Chris describes his dissatisfaction with his corporate banking job, the stress of the global pandemic, and his struggle to figure out what he wanted in life. He shares how he felt detached from relationships and was generally unhappy during this time. 00:08:04 - Transformation Chris talks about his current state where he runs his own business, even though he is financially struggling. He wakes up with a smile on his face because he believes in what he's doing and feels fulfilled. He mentions the gratification of solving puzzles and helping people in a way that aligns with his values. 00:14:12 - Taking Responsibility for Change Chris reflects on the necessary change in his life and taking responsibility for himself. He discusses the positive impact it has had on his relationships and how he now focuses on building others up instead of complaining about things he can't control. 00:15:45 - Positive Influence on Others Chris shares how his attitude shift has positively affected those around him, particularly his wife. He emphasizes the importance of being a positive influence and building others up instead of complaining. 00:16:26 - Relationship Dynamics and Change Andrew discusses how when one partner in a relationship makes changes, it forces the other to deal with it and decide what it means for them. 00:18:07 - Starting a Business in Cryptocurrency Chris explains how his interest in cryptocurrency led him to start a business in the industry. He shares the challenges and uncertainties they faced in building a business that didn't exist before and how they had to figure out pricing and services. 00:22:25 - Growth and Opportunities Chris talks about the growth of their cryptocurrency advisory business and the opportunities that have come from it. He discusses the importance of customer feedback and being able to apply it directly to their business. He also mentions new ventures they're exploring, such as smart contracts and tax credit projects. 00:28:05 - Delayed Gratification and Creating a Better Reality Chris discusses the concept of delayed gratification and making sacrifices today for a better future. They mention Jordan Peterson's teachings on finding meaning and satisfaction in life through responsibility and hard work. Despite the stress, Chris wouldn't trade their current situation for their past, as they are moving towards something important to them. 00:29:11 - Enjoying the Journey and Smelling the Roses Successful business owners advise Chris to enjoy the journey and not just focus on the end goal. Chris reflects on their own experience, appreciating the growth they have achieved and the feedback they receive. They emphasize the importance of stopping to appreciate progress and finding excitement in the daily adventures. 00:30:43 - Loss vs. Gain in the Face of Challenges Andrew asks Chris how they would feel if everything they were working towards fell apart. Chris responds that even in that worst-case scenario, it would still be a gain because the awakening they had was not about the specific business but about recognizing their true desires and values. They learned to challenge traditional expectations and embrace the unknown. 00:32:25 - Moving Forward Without Knowing All the Hows Chris and Andrew discuss the importance of not getting stuck on knowing all the details and how to achieve a goal. Instead, they emphasize the importance of having a clear why and a clear what and starting to take action. Along the way, the actual questions that need to be answered and problems that need to be solved present themselves and are opportunities for growth and learning. Chris shares examples of challenges they faced. 00:41:33 - Metamorphosis and Personal Growth Chris describes his intense period of metamorphosis and personal growth, comparing it to a snake shedding its skin. He emphasizes that personal growth is not a one-time event but a continuous process of change, adaptation, and growth. He also highlights the importance of mindset and tools in enabling personal transformation. 00:42:49 - Recognizing Personal Growth Andrew acknowledges the positive changes he sees in Chris as a result of his personal growth journey. He mentions how others have also noticed Chris's transformation and how this growth is transferable and applicable to every aspect of life. 00:43:58 - Strength and Fortitude Despite not having achieved his desired financial goals yet, Andrew commends Chris for his personal growth and resilience. He believes Chris is now in a stronger position in life compared to two years ago, highlighting the importance of personal development beyond material success. 00:45:01 - Perceived Energy Shift Chris shares how others have noticed a positive change in his energy and demeanor. He believes in the power of energies and vibrations and finds it gratifying that people can perceive his personal growth, even if they are not aware of the specific changes he has undergone. What adventure is calling to you? How has Chris’ story encouraged and empowered you to accept the call? What’s just one thing, no matter how small, that you are willing and able to do to respond to the call? Not Sure Where to Start? Start Here! Spots are still available at Growth Camp 2023 | The Best is Yet to Come this Saturday, October 14, at the Steamboat Social Club here in Steamboat Springs, CO, where you’ll be equipped and empowered to embark on your own Adventure. To remove as many obstacles as possible to participating, I’ve overhauled the pricing. Now, you can have the whole one-day experience, valued at almost $700 for only $50. Or, you can name your own price, according to your perception of the event’s value and your financial means. Visit for complete details and to register. Maybe Growth Camp is your first step? If it’s calling to you, why not respond to the call? Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying! Let’s Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Chris | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/28250942

Ep. 088 | Become the Hero in Your Own Story: Overcoming Resistance and Fear on the Journey, with Vince Coleman 09/25/2023

Ep. 088 | Become the Hero in Your Own Story: Overcoming Resistance and Fear on the Journey, with Vince Coleman If you're experiencing overwhelming frustration and disappointment because despite your efforts to find fulfillment in your current career, you still feel empty and unfulfilled, then you are not alone! If you're constantly taking on new projects and responsibilities, hoping they will bring you joy and purpose, only to find yourself in the same state of dissatisfaction, then you are not alone! If you're caught in a cycle of fear and resistance, unable to take the leap into a new adventure that excites you, because the fear of the unknown is paralyzing, then you are not alone! If you're longing for something more, something that aligns with your passions and values, but you're held back by the fear of failure and the opinions of others, then you are not alone! Meet my special guest, Steamboat Local Vince Coleman Meet Vince Coleman, a Steamboat local and a living testament to the transformation that can come from accepting a call to adventure. From the daily grind in restaurant kitchens to the creative world of leatherworking, Vince has turned his passion into a promising career. As both an entrepreneur and small business owner, Vince is known not just for crafting unique leather products at Coleman's Haberdashery, but for his inspiring journey towards finding fulfillment beyond the culinary world. His story is an energizing journey of self-discovery and innovation and an example to us all. I was just getting burned out, tired, exhausted, frustrated, you know, kind of all of the above. - Vince Coleman In this episode, you will: Uncover tactics for mastering fears and resistance when taking the leap into a new adventure. Realize the vital role of exploring oneself and engaging in rewarding hobbies for personal growth. Grasp the remarkable power of having companions and allies as you pursue your next adventure. Witness the transformation brought about by embracing change and following one's passion. Overcoming fears and resistance is a recurring theme in Vince's journey. Undertaking a career transition inherently breeds uncertainty and apprehension, yet Vince was able to navigate these hurdles with encouragement from his supportive network. His story serves as a reminder that while fear and resistance are natural responses to change, they can be overcome with determination, support, and a clear vision. Become the Hero in Your Own Story Hero's Journeys come in all shapes and sizes--from a major vocational transition like Vince's to summoning the courage to have a hard conversation to leaving the house for the first time in a while. We see them as we look at the whole span of our lifetime, and we can see them in the span of just one day. The pattern is everywhere and at every level of resolution in our lives. What if instead of simply being an observer of that pattern in our lives retrospectively, though, we could voluntarily activate it to live with even more purpose and adventure? That's exactly what will equip you to do. On Saturday, October 14, from 9:30am - 8:30pm, join me, Jon Ritner, and your fellow heroes for Growth Camp 2023, a one-day in-person intensive that combines the inspiration of a great Ted Talk with the relational richness of a long lingering meal and tops it off with the insights and action steps acquired from personal coaching. Whatever adventure calls to you, you will become learn how to become the Hero in your own story and be empowered to move forward with guts, gusto, and abandon. Wherever you are on your journey, whatever your age or stage, this is the right time to declare that the best is yet to come! If this opportunity is tugging at you, do something about it and reserve your spot today. One day really could change your life. Remember, you are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying! Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction Andrew Petty introduces the podcast episode and the concept of the Hero's Journey, a framework for a life of purpose and adventure. 00:01:24 - The Best is Yet to Come Andrew announces an upcoming event called "The Best is Yet to Come," where participants can gain a deep understanding of the Hero's Journey and find clarity about their own unique adventure. 00:02:38 - Vince's Story Andrew introduces Vince Coleman and discusses his transition from the culinary world to owning his own business. Vince shares the early hints that a new adventure was calling to him. 00:07:34 - Resistance to Change Vince talks about the resistance he faced when transitioning from the culinary industry to starting his own business. He shares the challenges of uncertainty and financial investment, as well as the fear of fully committing to the new adventure. 00:12:14 - Overcoming Uncertainty Vince discusses how he navigated the transition from working in the restaurant industry to fully committing to his leather business. He shares his decision to work part-time at a restaurant while growing his business and funding it from his savings account. 00:14:45 - Embracing Uncertainty and Transition Andrew and Vince discuss the importance of accepting uncertainty in life and embracing the call to adventure. The guest's wife and close friends played a significant role in supporting his transition from the culinary industry to the leather business. Financial considerations also played a major role in his decision to pursue his new career path. 00:17:21 - Making a Viable Business Vince shares how he realized the potential of his leather business when it started making more money than his previous job. This financial success gave him the confidence to fully commit to his new venture and focus on growing it into a sustainable career. 00:20:01 - Challenges and Growth Vince reflects on the challenges he faced during the early years of his leather business, including burnout and exhaustion. He eventually found a balance between aggressive growth and manageable workload, allowing him to prioritize his well-being and personal life. 00:22:58 - Balancing Success and Self-Management Vince discusses the importance of self-management and maintaining a balance between running the business and being consumed by its success. He highlights the ongoing process of reassessing priorities and finding the right work-life balance as the business continues to grow. 00:25:43 - Shaping Life with Intention Vince shares how his adventure into entrepreneurship has changed his outlook on life. He now has the freedom to shape his business and personal life in a way that allows him to pursue his passions and prioritize experiences like travel. 00:29:04 - The Value of Money and Experience Money adds comfort, but life is about experiences and relationships. Money can make things easier but also more challenging. Comfort can lead to complacency and loss of connection with our stories and sense of adventure. 00:30:22 - Embracing the Call to Adventure We are designed to experience life, explore, create, and have adventures. The hero's journey resonates within us because it reflects our true calling. We were made to be pioneers and not settle into comfort and complacency. 00:31:29 - The Impact of Accepting the Call to Adventure Accepting the call to adventure can lead to significant personal and professional changes. Vince's marriage, mindset, and contribution to the world have all been positively transformed because he chose to embrace the unknown. 00:33:35 - Alternative Reality and the Importance of Pursuing Dreams Imagining a life where Vince didn't accept the call to adventure feels depressing and unfulfilling. Pursuing dreams and passions, following desires, and living life with intent are crucial for personal fulfillment and growth. 00:39:12 - Vince's Journey as an Example Vince's entrepreneurial journey serves as a real-life example of the Hero's Journey. It highlights the importance of embracing uncertainty, overcoming challenges, and transforming oneself. Each person's Hero's Journey will look different, but the essence remains the same. Let’s Connect How did this episode help you? I'd love to know. Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Vince | | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/28122695

Ep. 087 | The Question That Changes Everything (Reboot): The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live 09/11/2023

Ep. 087 | The Question That Changes Everything (Reboot): The Go-to Tool for Living the Life You Were Made to Live Today’s episode is a reboot from the archive with a few upgrades. I decided to bring this one back after a recent experience as a vendor at the local Farmer’s Market. I wasn’t your typical vendor–a life coach amidst vegetable stands and woodworkers and handmade soap purveyors. And my offer wasn’t typical either: Answer one question to be entered in a raffle for a hundred dollar gift card. The question I posed to visitors to my booth was one that I also posed on this podcast a couple years ago, in episode 16. The conversations and insights that the question generated at the farmer’s market were so high-quality that it inspired me to bring it back to the front burner for all of us today. Embrace the urgency of your mortality and unleash your true potential by challenging yourself with one question: If I only had five years to live, what would I start doing differently today? In this episode: Delve into the transformative impact of using mortality as a compass for living a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. Discover the value of imposing an artificial five-year expiration date on your life to clarify what matters most and make big changes. Reflect upon what you would change if granted a limited time. Begin steering your own course with purpose and courage, transforming discomfort into a catalyst for growth and adventure. The power of a five-year timeline comes from the clarity it provides in defining what’s truly important in our lives. Imagining life with an explicit deadline compels us to take more risks, make bolder decisions, and pursue our desires and ambitions. A five-year timeline challenges the complacency of postponing dreams and aspirations. With five years to live, you can't just have an extended farewell tour! You still have to put food on the table and keep a roof over your head. How will you live? How will you use the time? Tune in to the full (short!) episode for the whole story. More Provisions for the Journey If you have the guts to begin asking yourself this question and acting on your answers, you’ll be in for an exhilarating ride. AND, you’ll invite some other tough customers into your life in a new way--like fear, doubt, and new kinds of discomfort. As I said at the beginning, this simple question can revolutionize your life...and it’s far from easy to follow through on your answers. A few other episodes of Andrew Petty is Dying provide tools for mastering fear, doubt, and discomfort: If fear is getting the best of you, listen to Ep. 005, . If you’re tempted to feel like you don’t have much to offer, listen to Ep. 003, If life’s stiff winds are threatening to sink your ship, listen to Ep. 012, I’m rooting for you, and I believe you have what it takes. Remember, you are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Seize the Moment: Tomorrow Never Comes If something within you is awakening to the challenge posed by the 5-year question, then seize the moment. As Jon Ritner mentioned in the previous episode, exercise the 10-second rule and resolve to do something about it now. The first step could be as easy as connecting with me to schedule a free coaching session. Visit andrewpettycoach.com to do that today. Also, summon the courage to participate in the one-day Andrew Petty Coaching event coming up on October 14, here in Steamboat Springs. Jon Ritner and I will host an immersive experience called The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today. You will emerge from that experience equipped to deploy the Hero’s Journey framework that Jon and I discussed in episode 86 to slay the dragons of fear, boredom, stuckness, and lack of purpose by accepting the call to adventure and becoming the hero in your own story. If you haven’t listened to episode 86 yet, cue it up now, and stay tuned for more details about how to secure your spot at The Best is Yet to Come on October 14. Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying! Let’s Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on , and , visit , or . Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/27987471

Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today 08/28/2023

Ep. 086 | The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for a Life of Purpose and Adventure Today “Not only did this hero's journey resonate with a desire we all have, it felt like it told the story of the life I was actually living. And I think I realized that it wasn't a one-time adventure–that it had the potential to be a pattern or a framework that I could lean into and try to follow over and over again in order to find more meaning, more purpose, and more transformation in my life. In many ways it was what I was missing back in Virginia. I realized it was offering me a pathway, almost like guideposts on the journey that could deliver the things I wanted more of in life, which were meaning and purpose and significance.” -Jon Ritner Boredem, confusion, aimlessness, lack of purpose, lack of fulfillment, and a host of other emotional and psychological woes. These are some of the problems that, though they're not entirely new to humanity, seem especially rampant in the affluent Western world today. You might even be able to relate to one or two of them yourself. When the modern age doesn't offer many useful remedies to these ills, where else can we look? It's time to return to the "old roads," to quote a line from an Andrew Peterson song. It's time to return to wisdom that has been generated over generations and stood the test of time. It's this wisdom that my long-time friend and colleague, Jon Ritner, and I unpack together in this episode through the lenses of our own stories. It's the wisdom contained in The Hero's Journey, a compass for living derived, surprisingly enough, from humankind's core mythologies. In this episode, you'll get a crash course in the Hero's Journey and an introduction to how to begin using it in your own life right now to vanquish the dragons of boredom, confusion, aimlessness, lack of purpose, lack of fulfillment, and the laundry list of other besetting woes. As you vanquish those dragons, you'll discover the treasure behind them that you were uniquely meant to find and share with the world. If you're willing, you're in for the adventure of your life. This episode is also an appetizer for the main course that Jon and I will serve up this October at a special one-day event designed to fully equip you to use the Hero's Journey in your own life. Introducing Jon Ritner Jon Ritner and I met in college in the early 90s. We were acquaintances then but became close friends in the years immediately following college, when we were roommates, each of us trying to find ourselves and find our way. We ended up on the same church staff together, a chapter in our stories full of highs and lows and lessons hard-won. We've seen each other at our best, and we've seen each other at our worst. Eventually, our paths diverged, and that's the point at which we pick up Jon's story today. Jon has served as a pastor for 20 years in various capacities in the US and overseas. Today, he's the Chief Strategy Officer for Communitas International, a global non-profit. He also coaches leaders who are starting and shaping communities to live like Jesus, and the author of Positively Irritating, a philosophical and practical guide for faith leaders navigating the changing cultural realities in the western world. Jon and Kristyn, his wife of 22 years, live in Burbank, CA with their teenage son and daughter. Highlights from This Conversation What The Hero’s Journey is and why it matters in our real-world lives today How The Hero’s Journey framework helped Jon make more sense of his life so far, and how it can do the same for you How The Hero’s Journey helps Jon live a life of more purpose, meaning, and adventure today, and how it can do the same for you The distinguishing qualities of a Hero, and how to be one Why and how adventure is an antidote to so many of today’s besetting woes, like boredom, aimlessness, confusion, and lack of purpose And more. Tune into the full episode for the rest of the good stuff. SAVE THE DATE: Special Andrew Petty Coaching Event, Saturday October 14, at the Steamboat Social Club (brunch and dinner provided) I’m excited to announce a special Andrew Petty Coaching event–a one-day intensive that combines the inspiration of a great Ted Talk with the relational richness of a long lingering meal and tops it off with the insights and action steps you acquire from personal coaching. The event is called The Best is Yet to Come: Rediscovering an Ancient Compass for Living a Life of Purpose and Adventure. If today's episode has sparked something inside of you, then The Best is Yet to Come is just the thing to propel you forward on your next great adventure. This episode introduced you to The Hero’s Journey, but The Best is Yet to Come will go deeper. We’ll identify the reasons we so often fluctuate between listlessness and boredom in one season of life and then overwhelming stress and anxiety in the next. We’ill give you language to describe the call on your life as well as license to accept that call with courage and support. We’ll help you move from victim to Hero in your own story and empower you to live a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. Whether you are just setting out on your journey or are stuck in a rut, this is the right time to declare that the best is yet to come! Keep your eyes peeled for registration details. Still figuring all that out...ha! In the meantime, how can I help you become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live? Find me on , and , visit , or . Thank you once again for your time and attention. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying! Connect with Jon | | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Resources Mentioned in This Episode (Joseph Campbell) (Christopher Vogler) /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/27857505

From Good to Great: How Assessments Can Transform Your Life, Work, and Relationships 08/14/2023

From Good to Great: How Assessments Can Transform Your Life, Work, and Relationships It's great to be back with you after a six-week break from the show! What better way to kick things off than for my wise and wonderful wife, Charis, to join me again for this second installment in a 2-part series about how assessments can transform your life, work, and relationships. In the previous episode, through the lens of our own stories, Charis and I explored the transformational potential available to us through the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory, an assessment that helps us understand our natural personality style better. In this episode, again through the lens of our own stories, we're going to explore the transformational potential available to us through the Highlands Ability Battery, an instrument that helps us understand the abilities we were born with. The Highlands Ability Battery is particularly useful for understanding the kind of work we were made to do in the world. Taken together, Myers-Briggs and the Highlands Ability Battery provide invaluable insight into the kind of human we are--our Nature. In turn, that insight can equip us to become the person we were made to be and live the life we were made to live. Any of These Sound Familiar? If you find yourself stuck in any area of life...If you're finding that what got you here isn't getting you where you want to go...If you have persistent points of irritation or conflict at home or at work...If you have a big dream to tackle but just can't seem to get moving...If you simply want to be all that you can be...Then this episode is for you. You don't have to listen to the previous episode in order for this one to make sense. Both episodes can stand alone. But I do encourage you to tune into both for the full benefit. As I said in the previous episode, much of who we are and why we do what we do as humans in this world remains a mystery. But some things don't need to remain a mystery. We hope our story inspires you to pursue fresh insight into the kind of human you are and start taking action on it today. Highlights from This Conversation How the Highlands Ability Battery (HAB) dispelled old but deeply-held limiting beliefs about Charis, improved her perception of herself, and how it can do the same for you. How HAB gave Charis new insights, tools, and that dramatically improved her ability to advance professionally, and how it can do the same for you. How HAB infused Charis with more confidence about her own abilities and her professional path, and how it can do the same for you. How the insights gained from HAB continue to help Charis on a day-to-day basis in her daily life and work, and how it can do the same for you. How HAB revised my (Andrew’s) perception of myself and the first 14 years of my professional life. How HAB has helped me (Andrew) write a new chapter personally and professionally that aligns better than ever before with the kind of human I am, and how it can do the same for you. How HAB helped me be more available for my wife and kids and finally begin enjoying rather than just needing vacations! And more… Making It Matter in Your Life I've said this often at the end of an episode, but it remains the million-dollar question: If you tuned in to this episode, what's sticking with you? And here's the 2 Million Dollar question: What's one thing you're willing and able to do today with the insight you've gained? Insight + Action = Transformation. Don't waste a perfectly good insight by neglecting to do something with it. Put it to work and transform your life. Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! I Can Help! It would be a pleasure to help you become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. Find me on , and , visit , or . Thank you once again for your time and attention. I'm so glad you tuned in today. Don't forget to follow this show and share it with your friends, and I'll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying! Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/27732645

From Irritation to Appreciation: How Assessments Can Transform Your Life and Relationships 06/26/2023

From Irritation to Appreciation: How Assessments Can Transform Your Life and Relationships What's a recurring point of irritation in your most important relationship? Where do you consistently feel frustrated at work? What annoys you about your default way of operating in the world? Without a doubt, your personality and the normal and natural differences between yours and other people's personalities are involved in those situations. This is good news, because you can do something about it. Deepening your understanding of your innate personality style and making real-world changes as a result of what you learn empowers you to deploy yourself in life even more enjoyably, meaningfully, and productively. In this episode, the first in a two-part series, my wife Charis returns to the show to help me unpack some of the many ways in which acquiring and acting upon personality insights has dramatically improved our lives individually and as a couple. Much of who we are and why we do what we do as humans in this world remains a mystery. But some things don't need to remain a mystery. Our innate personality style is one of those things. We hope our story inspires you to pursue fresh insight into your personality style and start taking action on it today. This episode focuses on the many benefits available from the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator, specifically. See You in August…Lord Willin’ and the Creek Don’t Rise! I'm taking a break from the show in July, so this is the last episode until August. Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I'm looking forward to a great second half of the year, with more enlightening conversations--including part 2 of this two-part series with Charis. That episode will explore the game-changing power of gaining deeper insight into your natural abilities, the abilities you were born with. Together with insights about your personality gained from MBTI, insights into your natural abilities form a really solid baseline understanding of your Nature--the kind of human you are. The second half of the year will include more short solo episodes, too, all geared toward equipping you with the practical means by which to deploy the Mortality Mindset in your life with transformational results. Thank you for your time, attention, and trust. Those are precious commodities, and I don't take them for granted. I hope you and yours have a wonderful July. In the meantime, as always, you can find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, at andrewpettycoach.com, or email me at [email protected]. I've said it once already in this episode, but it's worth repeating: Remember, you ARE going to die. But you're not dead yet. So get after it! How Can I Help? Find me on , and , visit , or . Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/27252927

Tell Your Stories, Free Yourself: How Telling the Stories of the Things That You Keep Can Change Your Life 06/12/2023

Tell Your Stories, Free Yourself: How Telling the Stories of the Things That You Keep Can Change Your Life We all have a lot of competing demands and priorities, obligations and opportunities--plenty of day-to-day things to tend to that have clear relevance. In the midst of all that, why would we set aside time specifically for cultivating deeper connections with fellow humans? What's the point of "connection" with others? On the one hand, a better question might be "why don't we set aside that time" because perhaps its value is obvious on some level. But the fact of the matter is that many of us still suffer from a profound lack of meaningful human connection--especially in this global age. So though we may give it lip service, most of us don't walk the talk. Martie McNabb is a personal historian/visual artist who creates visual narratives from client’s photo, document & memorabilia archives. She's also an interactive story-sharing heartist who helps people create connections by giving them a way to share the stories of the things they keep. That's what her company, Thing Tide Show & Tale, and her Show and Tale events are all about. Helping people connect has been part of her Martie's mission from the beginning. In this episode, you'll learn how the things that we keep contain stories waiting to be told, how telling those stories connects us to our own Story and to our fellow humans more meaningfully, and why all of that matters for you and me. Write a Great Story With Your Life in The Graveyard Group In the Graveyard Group, write your best life Story with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset and human connection to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. New groups for men and women are forming now. to schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, find me on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me at [email protected]. Connect with Martie | | | | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/27085863

The Global Fish Pond Crisis (Reboot): How to Establish and Stabilize Your Identity in this Global Age 05/29/2023

The Global Fish Pond Crisis (Reboot): How to Establish and Stabilize Your Identity in this Global Age The previous episode laid out a simple way to change the world–one to which each of us can contribute. It’s not easy, but thankfully it is simple. This episode lays out a way to overcome one of the key obstacles we often encounter on the way to changing the world–namely, our own poorly-established and unstable identity. It’s another timely reboot in an age that can sometimes feel incurably chaotic. One Pond, Two Fish: Meet John John was born in 1952 in a small town in Michigan. His mom managed the homefront, his dad was an accountant, and he had two younger sisters. In keeping with the prevailing sentiment of the day, his mom and dad favored stability, predictability, and peace above all else since WWII was still painfully if not distantly visible in the rearview mirror. And John’s dad was a combat veteran. Gratitude for the simplicity of small-town American life was a staple of John’s family’s ethic, and dreams of bigger and better things weren’t exactly frowned upon, but they weren’t encouraged either. John went to school with the same 60 or so kids from K-12, watched the same regular TV programming as everyone else, and was glad to get a job at a local print shop when he graduated from high school. He liked art and design, and this seemed like a reasonable way to get a bit of that in his work while at the same time taking his place among the ranks of the responsible and productive. John eventually bought the print shop after 20 years at the company and the establishment of his own family, and though each decade brought with it its own set of challenges in the world at large, John had a sense of who he was and what he did in the world. He was John, the son of Tom and Sally, from a small town in Michigan. He was a husband, father, business owner, and engaged member of his community. He was aware of the wider world and interested in its affairs, but he didn’t spend much time concerning himself about things that didn’t affect his immediate day-to-day or threaten to do so. On the whole, John was content to be a decent-sized fish in a small pond in the middle of Michigan. One Pond, Two Fish: Meet Alex Alex was born in 1995 in the same small Michigan town as John. The town was bigger when Alex was born, but not significantly so. It had simply grown the way that towns can when there aren’t specific causes for decline but neither are there particular reasons for a boom. His mom was an IT manager who worked from home and his dad was a VP with a national healthcare provider. Alex was an only child. Alex changed schools 4 times and moved to different neighborhoods twice in his K-12 years--the result of his parents’ concerns about the quality of the education he was receiving and proximity to the airport for his dad’s business trips. So, Alex had several different groups of friends over the years but became increasingly less social as the years wore on--fatigue from the social turnover taking its toll. By the time he was a sophomore in high school, smart phones and the proliferation of social media made it easier to interact from a distance and meet people outside of his hometown that he found more interesting. He was aware of the vastness of the world and the almost infinite options awaiting him. There was so...much...more out there than this little town had to offer. By the time his senior year rolled around, Alex was counting down the milliseconds until graduation--when he was free to leave the stifling smallness of his hometown and explore new horizons. Maybe he’d visit his buddy Alex in Oregon, whose dad grew marijuana for medical use, or his online crush Lisa in Miami. His gaming buddy, Yoshi, had invited him to visit him in Tokyo. That would be amazing. The possibilities were endless. Fast forward to the present day, and Alex’s still a relatively young man at 26, but he’s beginning to feel some internal pressure to figure some things out. He’s lived in 4 different cities since high school graduation--all thankfully much different and in his opinion way more interesting than his hometown. But eventually, each city got a little old, or he had a hard time connecting with new people there, or the tech job he’d landed went away because of down-sizing or right-sizing or an acquisition. He’s feeling a bit adrift. He’s spending more and more time on social media--fantasizing about achieving the stardom and notoriety of a Gary V. or a Joe Rogan and peering into the lives of hundreds of people he doesn’t know but whose lives look more interesting than his. This isn’t helping. It creates a chronic sense of he’s here and “they” are way over there--living in a magical land of financial ease and personal certainty. The gap seems to be widening with every passing day. Plus, it appears to him that the world is beginning to crumble around him. Racial unrest, global pandemics, dishonest politicians, and environmental armageddon are just a few of the big things that threaten to do the world in any day now. At least, that’s what he’s hearing in the media. And can the media be trusted? If not they, then how does he get reliable info about the state of things? He feels like he ought to do something about at least one of these things. But which one? And what can he possibly do as just one guy? He feels increasingly like he’s being swept along by a tidal wave of horrible inevitability that he’s powerless against. Alex is a small fish in a global fish pond. It’s terrifying, and it’s paralyzing. The Global Fish Pond Crisis Hopefully, the juxtaposition of the portraits of these men from the same town but with very different experiences of the world illustrates the theory I want to share with you. Here’s the theory, simply stated to make the implicit explicit: I think that most if not all of us are suffering at the hands of what I’m calling the Global Fish Pond Crisis. We’re susceptible to some version of Alex’s experience in the world. I actually think it’s a big reason that people like me have a job doing what we do. People feel adrift in a global fish pond and need help making sense of their place in it. Here’s what I think is happening: When the whole world is at our fingertips 24/7 and the old ways of forming an identity aren’t adequate anymore, then it’s completely up to us to catalyze our identity--a term I first heard from Jordan Peterson--and stabilize it in the midst of a global pond churning with other fish trying to do the same thing. In John’s case, geography and associated cultural norms provided reliable, local boundaries to his fish pond and formed a foundation for his identity. He was one fish among 20,000, not one among 7 Billion as we may feel ourselves to be today. But perhaps the biggest problem with the Global Fish Pond Crisis is that we’re not aware that it exists. We’re tempted instead to think that we’re just not cutting it. We may be aware of various degrees of psychological pain and suffering caused by it--like in Alex’s case--but we’re misattributing it to our own laziness or incompetency or lack of worth. This is a case in which I think many of us are truly being victimized. And that’s why I bring it up. Because if this Global Fish Pond Crisis is actually a thing, then exposing it and its insidious effects on us means we can stop being victimized by it and start doing something about it. We can go from unwitting victim to victor and find our place in the vast global pond in which we now swim. In an age where few of us are born into small local ponds anymore, we have the opportunity to appropriately claim a small part of the global pond for our own--a part of the pond small enough to actually make a difference. How to Rescue Ourselves from the Global Fish Pond Crisis I think the way forward lies in each of us doing our best to assume even more complete responsibility for ourselves. To concern ourselves with those things that we can influence, to get our own houses in order, so to speak, and operate as productively as we know how right now, right where we are, with what we have. Staying zoomed out to the global view too much of the time leads to overwhelm and, frankly, I think it’s a cop-out because we then blame the global situation for why we’ve failed to sort ourselves out. Because what can one person do when the world is burning down around us? That’s victim stuff right there, and we’re all susceptible to it in one way or another. Zoom out every once in a while, sure--but zoom right back to your own here and now, and determine to do what you can right where you are. And I don’t mean do what you can to fix the world. I mean do what you can to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. I think that when we do that, we actually fulfill the many desperate needs in the world better and more quickly, anyway. Are You Struggling to Find Your Place in A Global Fish Pond? If this idea is scratching an itch for you--if you resonate with the idea of feeling like a tiny fish in a global pond--then resolve to do something about it in your own life right now. These four episodes of Andrew Petty is Dying will be especially useful as you take next steps to rescue yourself from the Global Fish Pond Crisis: Remember, you are going to die. But you aren’t dead yet. So get after it! I Can Help You I can help you escape the grip of the Global Fish Pond Crisis. I can help you establish and stabilize your identity so you can become the person you were made to be, live the life you were made to live, and do your part to change the world. to schedule a free first session. I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/26964462

How to Change the World (Reboot): An Antidote to Apathy and Despair in an Age of Doom and Gloom 05/15/2023

How to Change the World (Reboot): An Antidote to Apathy and Despair in an Age of Doom and Gloom Today’s episode is a timely reboot from the archives. It’s a reminder we can all benefit from and something we tend to lose sight of all too easily. It’s an antidote to apathy and despair in an age of doom and gloom. Doom and Gloom Abounds If environmental armageddon doesn’t get us first, then a hostile nation’s plans for global domination will. Maybe the Republicans will sink the ship and all hands will be lost. Or maybe it’ll be the Democrats doing. What about AI--the potential for hyper-intelligent machines to take over the world and eradicate or enslave humanity? You thought COVID was tough? Just wait until the next super virus is unleashed by nameless, faceless, malevolent forces plotting our demise even as we speak. Take your pick. There are no shortage of dire, doom and gloom scenarios to choose from these days. And the media and the internet serve up heaping quantities of it onto our psychological plates if we get in line for the 24/7 buffet. I’m NOT saying, BTW, that there aren’t genuine reasons to be concerned about the state of the world. There are--and, there always have been. In the modern digital age, though, it’s possible to be aware of most of the challenges facing the world--or, at least, the existing portrayals of those challenges--and to be aware of them most of the time. That’s infinitely more knowledge and awareness than any one of us can hold well in our hearts and minds or possibly act upon. And if we’re not careful, it can lead us to despair, despondency, and inaction. Where does that leave us, then? What CAN we do? Good questions. How do we change the world? It’s Simple, Actually I’m not going to bury the lead here. Let’s get right to the point. To change the world, simply be the best “you” that you can possibly be. Profoundly simple. And FAR from easy. If it was easy, more of us would embrace it and live it out. It’s also far from a new idea. “Be the change you want to see in the world” is a statement derived from ideas that Gandhi put forth. As is “if you want to change the world, go home and love your family”--that one derived from Mother Teresa’s way of thinking. Today, in his book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, Jordan Peterson sounds a similar note when he exhorts us all to “get our own house in perfect order” before we criticize the world or, by extrapolation, try to change the whole world. It’s not a new idea, but it seems to be one that needs to be revived in our hearts and minds these days. We forget. And we get swept up in the myriad of massive global concerns and take our eye off the ball right in front of us--the only ball that is really ours to carry. The ball of our One and Only Life, our unique path, and the purposes we alone can accomplish along that path. We need to return to this simple idea and double-down on it in our own lives. As Natalie Niksa said in the previous episode, “we’ve lost our way because of all the shiny objects.” And in returning to this priority, we’ll revitalize our personal power, passion, and purpose and reduce our sense of paralysis and powerlessness in the face of all of the world’s woes. Then, we can really get to work, right where we are, with what we have. Breaking It Down But what does it mean to “be the best you that you can possibly be,” and how does that actually change the world? It means taking radical responsibility for yourself. It means working your ass off to discover and express your unique self as fully as you can and bring your unique gifts into the world. It means dreaming the dreams that exist only within your heart and doing your damndest to fulfill them. It means doing the work to become the person you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. It means working your ass off to be the best spouse, partner, parent, neighbor, and employee, employer, or entrepreneur that you can be. It means dragging yourself over the finish line of your life utterly depleted AND utterly satisfied because you left it all out on the field. For some, those efforts will yield global recognition and impact. For others of us, our efforts will only ever be known among those closest to us. Guess what? The scope and scale of our impact is irrelevant and, frankly, none of our business. It’s not even knowable, in fact. We have no way of knowing how much of a difference our life will make--now, and in the years and generations to come. Our lives ripple into eternity, just like those before us ripple into ours. Keep It Positive Make no mistake, though: There’s no such thing as a neutral or no-impact life. We don’t get to control IF our life will make an impact or know how much of an impact we ultimately make, but we do get to influence what KIND of impact we’ll make. Will it be negative because we shrank back, didn’t take full responsibility for our One and Only life, and failed to show up--and our absence was a loss for those who needed us to show up? Or will it be positive--not because we showed up perfectly all the time, but rather because we did our very best to simply show up, to bring the best of ourselves to this fleeting life, day in and day out? Carl Jung said that the greatest burden a child can take into adulthood is the unlived life of their parent. In a slightly sillier context but with no less relevance, in the Lego movie Ninjago, Lloyd the good ninja tells his dad, the movie’s arch villain, that he ruined his life. To which his dad, Lord Garmadon, replies, scoffingly, “How could I ruin your life? I wasn’t even there.” But How Does It Change the World? If all of that at least makes a dent in understanding HOW to “be the best you that you can possibly be,” then that leaves the question of how it actually changes the world. When we take responsibility for being the best versions of ourselves that we can possibly be, then we change ourselves. When we change ourselves, we change our world--the little part of the world that we call our own. Our family life changes, our work life changes, our community life changes. Then, as our world changes, by definition the world changes as the ripples move outward from us at the epicenter. Change your life...change your world...change the world. That, my friends, is how we change the world. Buckle Up, Buttercup The good news is that it’s so simple. Our primary focus becomes simply evolving ourselves. As I said at the beginning, though, it’s far from easy. There’s no journey more challenging. But there’s also no journey more completely satisfying and worthwhile. And if you’re looking for more purpose and meaning, this journey will fill that cup to overflowing. So buckle up, buttercup, and get to work becoming the best you that you can possibly be. And remember, you are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Change the World in The Graveyard Group The Graveyard Group was created precisely for the purpose of helping you become the very best you that you can be. It combines the unsurpassed motivational horsepower of the Mortality Mindset with the force multiplying influence of your very own confidential board of advisors. Break free from the status quo, become who you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live. New groups for men and women are forming now, and both in-person and virtual options are available. Visit to learn more and schedule a free 1-1 coaching session to determine if is right for you. BTW, this episode pairs well with episode 036, , because it offers a solution to the Global Fish Pond Crisis. And no, episode 036 is not about a literal fish pond crisis; it’s about the formidable challenges of constructing solid identities for ourselves in this modern, globalized age. If you haven’t checked it out, and this one was meaningful to you, then I encourage you to do so. I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Recommend These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/26828793

The Energy Gauge: A High-powered and Underrated Tool for Finding Your Unique Path in Life 05/01/2023

The Energy Gauge: A High-powered and Underrated Tool for Finding Your Unique Path in Life What does our energy have to do with finding our unique Path in life? A lot, as it turns out. Stay tuned to learn how to put it to work for you. Energy for the Win It was 2015, and I was a couple years into a major personal and professional evolution–much of which I share about in greater detail in the earliest episodes of this show. Part of that evolution had included a move to CO. Now, after a self-administered period of sabbatical, it was time to begin getting clearer on what the next chapter would be for me professionally. Though I didn’t have the language for it back then, through a long process of self-discovery supported by family, friends, colleagues, my first partnership with a coach, and insights gained through assessments and reflection, I had already created something very similar to my very own Personal Owner’s Manual. To learn how to create yours, tune into episode 035, . As a result of all that work, I was beginning to lean toward coaching as the next step along my professional path. I wasn’t yet committed to it, though. Until, that is, I began to recall when I felt more and less energized in my previous professional chapter. Hands-down, I realized, I felt more energized when I was having meaningful conversations in 1-1 and small group settings about how to move forward. Those conversations left me on a high and helped those involved. Conversely, I felt much less energized when I returned to most of the other parts of my job. What kind of work would involve a lot more of those kinds of conversations, I wondered, and a lot less of all the other stuff? In light of the new clarity that reflecting on my energy had provided, in conjunction with the accumulated insights from all of my previous self-discovery, the field of coaching, broadly speaking, became the obvious next step on my professional path. So I summoned the courage to put my Insight into Action, and began to move forward on that path. After 7+ years of coaching, I can confidently say that my energy didn’t let me down. It was a reliable guide then, and it continues to guide me well today. Your energy can do the same for you. The Energy Gauge Imagine with me for a moment a dashboard. This isn’t any old dashboard, though. It’s your personal dashboard. Its gauges and indicator lights are specific to you, and from it you gain important information about how well you’re functioning. Your fuel gauge tells you when it’s time to rest, recover, and recharge. Your emotions gauge informs you about how you’re responding to internal and external stimuli and where attention is needed. You get the idea. It’s your dashboard, and you can customize it any way you’d like. I recommend making sure that one gauge is present and prominent on your dashboard, however–your Energy Gauge. When we pay attention to our energy, we get rich real-world feedback about what we were made to do and what we weren’t made to do. Watch when your energy gauge goes up and when it goes down. In both cases, take note of the specific conditions that are causing it to go up or down. Then, take action to engineer the circumstances of your life to allow you to do more of what energizes you and less of what doesn’t. The magic of the energy gauge lies at least in large part in the fact that when our energy goes up, we can be confident that our innate personality, abilities, gifts, and talents, our life experiences, our interests, and our values are all being put to use in some significant way. When our energy goes down, we can be confident that those things are less present. In other words, when we pay attention to our energy gauge, we get all that and a bag of chips. Whether you need a tweak, a major adjustment, or feel like you have no clue at all what your path in life is, your energy gauge will serve you well. It’s simple, reliable, actionable, and powerful. It demystifies what can feel like a daunting and hopelessly complex pursuit, i.e. finding your path in life. Anyone can use it, and you can begin using it right now. The keys to unlocking its potential are the Courage and Humility to act upon what you discover. Tune in to episodes and to learn more about Courage, Humility, and the rest of the Big 6 essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. Check Your Personal Energy Gauge What is your energy gauge telling you? What’s one thing you’re willing and able to change today to act on what it’s telling you and get even clearer on your unique path in life? Remember, you are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it. Dedicated Support for the Road Ahead It’s one thing to pay attention to your energy gauge. It’s another thing entirely to act on what it’s telling you and stay the course. That’s where a 1-1 coaching partnership with me can make all the difference. I’ll help you break free from the grip of the Status Quo so that you can become who you were made to be and live the life you were made to live. To learn more, to schedule a free session, find me on , and , or . I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/26687781

Surrender, Compassion, and Connection: A Death Doula's Guide to Life, with Danielle Slupesky 04/17/2023

Surrender, Compassion, and Connection: A Death Doula's Guide to Life, with Danielle Slupesky What's on the other side of Death? Danielle Slupesky came face-to-face with her own Mortality through a harrowing and prolonged medical crisis. She barely lived to tell the tale. In the midst of that crisis, she had a near-death experience that completely changed the trajectory of her life and her relationship with Death. Danielle is an End-of-Life Coach and a Death Doula based out of Albuquerque, NM. In this episode, she gives us a detailed first-hand account of her near-death experience and how it changed her. Frankly, it's difficult to know where to file or categorize Danielle's experience. On the one hand, it would be reassuring if it fit neatly into my existing worldview or further supported it. But it doesn't do that, so for now it gets filed under "Unsolved Mysteries." It's clear, though, that what remains a mystery to me has radically transformed Danielle. Its impact cannot be ignored. For that reason alone, her story is worth paying attention to. But there's more to Danielle's story that deserves our attention, including the importance of surrender, the perils of unconscious living, and how our bodies whisper messages that we need to hear and heed. This conversation enlightened, challenged, and encouraged me. I hope it does the same for you. Some Highlights From This Conversation Danielle “before and after” her encounter with Mortality and near-death experience The perils of “unconscious” living and how to live more consciously How to hear what our body is whispering to us about our mental and emotional wellbeing Danielle shares a detailed account of her near-death experience and how it changed her What Danielle considers most important today, after her encounter with mortality and near-death experience How an End-of-Life Coach can help you live more consciously today The role of the Death Doula in the 21st Century Tune in to the full episode for more… The Graveyard Group: End-of-Life Coaching, Mastermind-style The Graveyard Group is like end-of-life coaching with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. As Danielle pointed out, when we bring our Mortality to the forefront of our awareness and begin planning for a conscious death, we automatically begin to lead more conscious lives. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit to schedule a free 1-1 coaching session with me, find me on , and , or . Let’s Connect I can help you uncover what you really want and go after it with guts, gusto, and abandon. Schedule a free session to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership with me is a good choice for you. Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Danielle | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/26547711

The Big 6 (Part 2): Essential Ingredients in the Recipe for a Life You’ll be Outrageously Proud of When You Die 04/03/2023

The Big 6 (Part 2): Essential Ingredients in the Recipe for a Life You’ll be Outrageously Proud of When You Die What does it take to live a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die? That’s really the question at the heart of this podcast, and this episode is part two of a two-part series aimed at providing a trustworthy answer to that question. Through my own life experience, conversations with guests on this show, 1-1 coaching partnerships, and The Graveyard Group, I’ve identified six essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we’ll be outrageously proud of when we die. I call them the Big 6. Other ingredients are important and useful, for sure, but none appear to me to be as important as these six. Without them, the recipe simply doesn’t work. In the previous episode, I introduced you to the first three of the Big 6, Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling. In this episode, I’ll introduce you to the second three, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge. There is a logic to the order of the ingredients in this recipe. They build on one another, and each one depends upon the others that precede it. If you haven’t listened to the previous episode yet and you have an additional 8 minutes to spare right now, I recommend tuning in to that episode first before listening to this one. The Fourth Ingredient: Self-Permission The fourth essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of is Self-permission. Self-permission is ownership of the reality that I can do what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want, with whom I want. It is a permission granted to us simply by virtue of our arrival at chronological adulthood, but many chronological adults remain emotional and psychological juveniles because they fail to fully grant themselves this permission. Instead, their thoughts and actions remain heavily and unduly influenced by others, by worn-out worldviews inherited from their family of origin, and by a myriad of other external sources of permission. They remain dependent upon external sources of permission to determine what they think and how they conduct themselves in the world. Self-permission can be used for good or evil, and everything in between. It isn’t a license to run amok. Nor does it mean tuning out the input of others; it is wise to seek and learn from the counsel and examples of others. Rather, the proper expression of Self-permission simply frees us from dependence upon external sources of permission in order to think and act. Let me say that again: The proper expression of Self-permission simply frees us from dependence upon external sources of permission in order to think and act. It also puts the consequences of our thoughts and actions squarely at our feet, a topic we’ll delve into next when we discuss Self-responsibility. Failure to take full ownership of Self-permission relegates us to living at least in part according to the will and permissions of others. This limits our ability to become the person we were uniquely made to be and live the life we were uniquely made to live because our Path and Purpose are co-opted by others’ will and wishes. Successfully taking full ownership of Self-permission, however, sets us free to discover who and what we really are and who and what we really can become. We are able to make our unique contribution to the world. Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling are prerequisites for Self-permission. Remember, as an adult, you really can do what you want, when you want, how you want, where you want, with whom you want. Use the privilege well. Tune into Ep. 022, entitled , to learn how your inner voice can help you add more Self-permission in your own life. How fully have you embraced Self-permission? In what area of your life can you exercise even more Self-permission? The Fifth Ingredient: Self-responsibility The fifth Big 6 ingredient is Self-responsibility. Self-responsibility is complete ownership of our thoughts, words, and actions and the consequences that result from them. It is “extreme ownership,” to borrow Jocko Willink’s phrase from his book by the same name. It is the antidote to the insidious and destructive force of victimhood and just about every other manifestation of human dysfunction imaginable. When we are Self-responsible, we exhibit a willingness to acknowledge and make amends for mistakes. We choose to be solution-focused rather than problem- or blame-focused. We acknowledge that we always have a choice. We point the finger at ourselves first. Self-responsibility helps us distinguish between what we can and can’t control. It allows us to forge interdependent rather than dependent or co-dependent bonds in relationships because we’re able to establish and maintain healthier boundaries. We neither assume too little or too much responsibility for others. We are 100% responsible for ourselves and appropriately responsible for others. Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, and Self-permission are all prerequisites of Self-responsibility. Tune in to Ep. 019, , for more on this topic. How have you demonstrated Self-responsibility recently? In what area of your life is more Self-responsibility needed? The Sixth Ingredient: Self-knowledge The sixth and final essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die is Self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is an ever-evolving understanding about the kind of human you are–your Nature—and the influence of your Story–or Nurture–upon the person you’ve become. Together, Nature and Nurture help us discover the person we were made to be and the life we were made to live. Self-knowledge is made up of both quantitative and qualitative data and information. It is both objectively- and subjectively-derived. Professional assessments and inventories like those that I use with my clients, our own experience, and counsel and feedback from friends, family, mentors, coaches, and mental health professionals are valuable sources of Self-knowledge. Our pursuit of Self-knowledge depends upon increasing measures of Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, and Self-responsibility. In turn, the Self-knowledge that we gain helps us deploy Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, and Self-responsibility even more effectively. Deeper Self-knowledge leads to a more enjoyable, meaningful, and productive life. Though its fruits are personally rewarding, we ultimately pursue Self-knowledge in order to better understand how we are uniquely equipped to serve humankind. Tune in to Ep. 035 of Andrew Petty is Dying, , for more on this topic. How have you deepened your Self-knowledge recently? In what area of your life is more Self-knowledge needed? Perfecting the Recipe: Just Add More There you have it–the 6 essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. The instructions in this recipe are simple: Just keep adding more. More cups of Courage. Heaps more Humility. Tons more Truth-telling. More generous scoops of Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-Knowledge. With this recipe, more is always better. Each time you add just a little more, you’re investing in a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. Which ingredient can you begin adding more of today? Because remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Become a Master Chef in The Graveyard Group If the Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die, then The Graveyard Group is the kitchen in which you become a master chef. You and your own personal, confidential board of advisors help each other perfect your recipes for amazing lives. The Mortality Mindset is the heat that energizes your work together. Step by step, week by week, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it’s too late. Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, to schedule a free session with me, find me on , , or , or . Get Unstuck and Create the Life You’ve Always Wanted I know what it’s like to be stuck. I also know what it takes to get moving again toward the life you’ve always wanted. If you’re stuck, to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership is right for you. If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/26412171

The Big 6 (Part 1): Essential Ingredients in the Recipe for a Life You’ll be Outrageously Proud Of When You Die 03/20/2023

The Big 6 (Part 1): Essential Ingredients in the Recipe for a Life You’ll be Outrageously Proud Of When You Die What does it take to live a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die? That’s really the question at the heart of this podcast. Together, we’re cultivating the mindset and acquiring the means to answer this question. The Mortality Mindset breaks us free of the Status Quo’s gravitational pull and motivates us to give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it’s too late. The insights and tools we’ve assembled along the way are the means by which we put the Mortality Mindset to work in the real world. Here’s another way to look at it: The means we’re acquiring are like ingredients in a recipe, and the Mortality Mindset is the heat we apply to those ingredients in order to produce the desired result. Through my own life experience, conversations with guests on this show, 1-1 coaching partnerships, and The Graveyard Group, I’ve identified six essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we’ll be outrageously proud of when we die. I call them the Big 6. Other ingredients are important and useful, for sure, but none appear to me to be as important as these six. Without them, the recipe simply doesn’t work. In this episode, I’ll introduce you to the first three of the Big 6, Courage, Humility, and Truth-telling. Tune in to the next episode for the second three, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge. Ingredient 1: Courage The first essential ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of is Courage. Courage is the sovereign choice to be brave in response to fear. It is first among the Big 6 because none of the other Big 6 ingredients are possible without it. In fact, it’s difficult to think of a single admirable personal quality or act that doesn’t have Courage as its foundation. Courage is not something you have to go find. It’s something you choose to summon right here and now in order to take the very next step forward. We demonstrate courage when we choose to have the hard conversation, get out of bed when it would be easier to hide away, and take on a new challenge. Consistently summoning Courage makes once-feared things seem trivial. The antidote to fear is not becoming less afraid. It’s getting more brave. So if you’re scared, practice being brave. Over time, as your consistent choice to summon courage expands the frontiers upon which you’re capable of operating in the world, the Frontier becomes your playground. Courage is also contagious; the more we practice it, the more it inspires others to do the same. Tune in to Ep. 005, , for more on Courage, the first ingredient in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. How have you summoned Courage recently? In what area of your life is more Courage needed? Ingredient 2: Humility The second Big 6 ingredient is Humility. Humility is fueled by Courage. Humility is the courageous willingness to acknowledge our ignorance, deficiencies, and mistakes and move forward anyway. Humility is a courageous attitude of the heart that welcomes truth no matter how hard it might be to receive. It continually verifies our perception of ourselves and the world against the feedback that others offer us. It is the “sober judgment” of oneself commended in the book of Romans. It is essential for learning and growth. We demonstrate humility when we ask the question that no one else is asking, despite our fear that others will think it’s dumb. We demonstrate humility when we confess our wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness. We demonstrate humility when we submit to the guidance and instruction of someone wiser than us. We demonstrate humility when we can acknowledge both our strengths and our weaknesses without any inflation or deflation of who we are. How have you demonstrated Humility recently? In what area of your life is more Humility needed? Ingredient 3: Truth-telling The third Big 6 ingredient is Truth-telling. Truth-telling is fueled by Courage and Humility. Truth-telling is accurately defining reality–first for ourselves and then for others. Often, the only thing harder than telling others the truth is telling it to ourselves. It requires us to acknowledge who and where we actually are vs. who and where we’d like to be or think we should be. Often, it highlights difficult actions that we need to take. Life can feel easier in the short-term when we don’t tell the truth, but the degree to which we fail to tell the truth will be the degree to which our relationships with ourselves and others are based on lies. The short-term costs we incur for telling the truth pale in comparison to the long-term costs we incur for living by deception. Very few of us set out to intentionally lie to ourselves and others. But we encounter significant internal and external obstacles to Truth-telling every day, and we’re not even aware of many of them. For example, if we grew up in a family that only approves of certain professions, we may find it very difficult to acknowledge the truth that we’re not well-suited to any of them. There could be big relational costs associated with telling the truth. Remember that there are big costs associated with not telling the truth, too. A classic example is the middle-aged man who realizes one day with dismay that his corner office and high-paying position were someone else’s dream, not his, but he wasn’t willing to acknowledge the truth when it tugged at him along the way. When we tell the truth, our starting point corresponds with reality and serves as a reliable point from which to move forward. If we don’t tell the truth, though, our starting point doesn’t correspond with reality, and our navigation forward will lead to destinations for which we’re not intended. My coach, the one-and-only Amy K., gave me a great tool for getting better at Truth-telling. Whenever you’re finding it difficult to accurately define reality in a specific situation, finish the sentence, “The truth is, …” as honestly as you can. For example, “The Truth is, I feel scared about this opportunity even though I feel like I’m supposed to be excited about it.” How have you told the truth recently? In what area of your life is more Truth-telling needed? It’s a Simple Recipe: Just Add More I don’t enjoy cooking, so this whole recipe metaphor is a stretch for me. For me, the simpler the recipe, the better. Whether you enjoy cooking or not, though, I have good news: The instructions in the recipe for living a life you’ll be outrageously proud of are simple: Just keep adding more. More cups of Courage. Heaps more Humility. Tons more Truth-telling. You get the idea. With this recipe, more is always better. So, resolve to summon more Courage, risk more Humility, and practice more Truth-telling. Each time you add just a little more, you’re investing in a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. I’ll introduce you to the other three Big 6 ingredients–Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge–in the next episode. In the meantime, remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Perfect Your Recipe in The Graveyard Group If the Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die, then The Graveyard Group is the kitchen in which you become a master chef. You and your own personal, confidential board of advisors help each other perfect your recipes for amazing lives. The Mortality Mindset is the heat that energizes your work together. Step by step, week by week, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve now, before it’s too late. Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, to schedule a free session with me, find me on , , or , or . Get Unstuck and Create the Life You’ve Always Wanted I know what it’s like to be stuck. I also know what it takes to get moving again toward the life you’ve always wanted. If you’re stuck, to see if a 1-1 coaching partnership is right for you. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/26264373

Legacy: What It is and Why It Matters, With Maggie Gannon 03/06/2023

Legacy: What It is and Why It Matters, With Maggie Gannon Legacy. What is it, and why does it matter? As a 28-year veteran in the field of Otorhinolaryngology, clinical nurse specialist Maggie Gannon first encountered the transformational impact of legacy in the crucible of caring for desperately ill head and neck cancer patients. Then, cancer hit close to home. That ordeal galvanized her resolve to bring the power of legacy to everyone. Today, Maggie is the founder and CEO of Haven, the first customer-centric company built from clinical research to help the patient, the family, and the companies that serve them improve quality of life during life’s last chapter. Haven is changing the experience of death into something more meaningful and peaceful when the time comes. Maggie is also a recognized national lecturer and author. There’s Something to This Legacy Thing This is the second time in as many episodes that legacy has come up, so I'm taking note. If you haven't already, tune in to episode 075 with Alison Zimmerman for her perspective on legacy. There's something here that we need to pay attention to because those who have looked Mortality square in the eyes say it's important. Let's hear and heed their counsel now, before our own encounter with Mortality is upon us. Highlights from This Episode How listening well helps others see new possibilities and generate new options for themselves Key differences between those who cope well with their Mortality and those who don’t How years of caring for the chronically and terminally ill has changed how Maggie lives her own life–and what that means for you and me How Maggie’s views on life and death changed when cancer hit close to home–and what that means for you and me The astounding mental, emotional, and physical benefits of connecting with and capturing our legacy How to begin capturing your legacy today The top regrets that Maggie’s patients expressed as death drew near–don’t let them become yours! Tune in to the full episode for more… Get in Touch With Your Legacy How well-acquainted are you with your legacy? In light of your own Mortality, what are you willing and able to do differently in order to become better acquainted with it and give the gift of your legacy to those you love? Thanks to Maggie and her Haven team, all you have to do is visit to get started right now. Haven's guided, self-paced process is simple and intuitive and yours to use as you see fit. What you create remains as a permanent record for those you love and those who come after you. Take the Narrow Road It would be much easier not to check out Haven. It would be much easier to enjoy the insights you gained from today's conversation but do nothing with them in the real world. But if you listen to this podcast, you are not interested in the easy road. You're looking for the narrow road that leads to a life you're outrageously proud of when you die, and you're intentionally tapping into the power of your Mortality to motivate you. Visiom and start capturing your legacy today. Remember: You are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Create Your Legacy in a Graveyard Group As you capture your legacy on Haven, continue creating your legacy in the Graveyard Group with the support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, visit to schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, find me on , , or , or . I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Connect with Maggie | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/26127876

Keep Going: The Underrated Secret to a Wonderful Life 02/20/2023

Keep Going: The Underrated Secret to a Wonderful Life Unless you’re completely deluded or hiding under a rock, you know that life is hard. On the whole, it’s a series of challenges, crises, and steep learning curves punctuated by brief periods of relative peace and ease. That’s why all of us need to hear the very simple, highly-underrated, and completely unsexy message I’m offering you today. Unglamorous though it may be, it’s a key to living a life we’ll be outrageously proud of when we die. The Message Keep going. That’s my message for you today. Profound and sexy, right? When work is kicking your butt…Keep Going. When you’re passed over for a promotion…Keep Going. When your New Year’s resolve is running out…Keep Going. When things at home are stressful…Keep Going. When your kids are choosing destructive paths…Keep Going. When your relationship with your grown son or daughter is distant and cold…Keep Going. When your desire for a significant other remains unfulfilled…Keep Going. When your new business venture is on the rocks…Keep Going. When your health begins to fail you…Keep Going. When you get a terminal diagnosis…Keep Going. When a loved one dies…Keep Going. When others say it can’t be done…Keep Going. When the odds seem insurmountable…Keep Going. When life throws you a curveball…Keep Going. When your friends desert you…Keep Going. When your spouse betrays you…Keep Going. When you betray your spouse…Keep Going. When you make a mistake…Keep Going. When the news is filled with gloom and doom…Keep Going. When the economy is tanking…Keep Going. If you’re going through Hell…Keep Going, to quote the inimitable Winston Churchill. If you’re going through heaven, enjoy it…and Keep Going. Whatever life is like for you right now…Keep Going. Don’t stop. Keep Going. The Real Road to Victory Keep Going. Stay in the game. Find a way forward. Do not give in and do not give up. You might have to find a different way forward than you anticipated. So be it. Adjust and keep going. Your original dream may have crumbled. Very well. Grieve the loss, learn the lessons, and keep going. When all of our strategies, tactics, and lifehacks aren’t making a dent, “keep going” is all that remains. We too often look for the silver bullet and the shortcut, the smooth path to victory. But the road to victory is paved with grit, perseverance, determination, and a dogged insistence to simply keep going, no matter what. It’s paved with courage, humility, and radical responsibility. Too many of us have forgotten that. Chop the wood, and carry the water. Chop the wood, and carry the water. It’s not pretty. It’s not how we might like it to be. But it is Reality. Better to align with Reality than deny it and compound our misery. Keep Going…with Purpose and Flexibility “Keep Going” isn’t a call to purposeless, directionless movement without reflection, intention, or forethought. Sometimes, “keep going” can mean pausing to refresh, reflect, and regroup. But don’t stay there, get stuck there, or get lulled into complacency. Rouse yourself to action again based upon the Insights gained during your pause to refresh, reflect, and regroup, and keep going. Insight + Action = Transformation. Wash, rinse, repeat. It’s simple, but it ain’t easy. So shoulders back, head up, eyes open, and with a heart full of courage and humility, take your next step forward. “Keep Going” also isn’t encouragement to keep doing self-destructive things or keep doing the same thing expecting different results. When going in one direction isn’t getting the results you want, keep going, but try a different direction. No matter what, though, keep going, and don’t stop. Get the Help You Need to Keep Going If you need help to keep going, practice radical self-responsibility and get the help you need. Maybe you need help getting going in the first place, much less keeping going. Fret not: It’s part of the human condition to find ourselves completely stuck sometimes. Even better, stuckness is a necessary and sacred place full of potential energy and learning just waiting to be realized. Tune in to episodes and , a two-part series on Breaking the Stuckness Stalemate, to begin getting unstuck and moving forward again today. Some Good News! Here’s some really good news: We only ever have to keep going for one day. Today is all we’ve got. Tomorrow never comes. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow. Today has enough troubles of its own. And none of us by worrying can add a day to our lives. Whatever you may think of Jesus, that’s some solid advice. Here’s more good news: Bottomless reservoirs of motivation to keep going are available to all of us all the time. Simply remember that you are going to die. One day–maybe even one day soon–you will draw your last breath. But you’re not dead yet. In that light, nothing is more precious than this very moment. Tune in to to learn how to cultivate this Mortality Mindset. Keep going. These APiD Episodes Will Help You Keep Going, Too Get the antidote to fear, dread, and timid living in . In , learn what to do when life throws you a curveball. Learn how to make the most of today in . Remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! The Graveyard Group: Get Going and Keep Going None of us, no matter how strong or how extraordinary, can keep going all the time on our own. Nor would that be ideal even if we could. We need help from others. The Graveyard Group gives you your own personal, confidential board of advisors with whom to consult and collaborate on a weekly basis. The Mortality Mindset energizes your work together. Together, you keep going, step by step, week by week, giving the things that matter most the attention they deserve in pursuit of a life you’ll be outrageously proud of when you die. Break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, to schedule a free session with me, find me on , or , or . I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/25974021

From Pain to Purpose: Finding What Matters, With Alison Zimmerman 02/06/2023

From Pain to Purpose: Finding What Matters, With Alison Zimmerman On Mother's Day 2020, with COVID beginning its inexorable march around the globe, Alison Zimmerman got the news that her dad was being rushed into emergency brain surgery after an ER visit for a headache took a dramatic turn. Her dad survived the surgery to wake up to no peripheral vision, short-term memory loss, disorientation in time and space, and a terminal glioblastoma diagnosis. Alison swung into action right away, first by being there for her dad's initial recovery from surgery and then by relocating indefinitely from her home here in Steamboat Springs to be with her dad for the duration of his cancer battle. A battle that included COVID-induced isolation in the hospital and being treated by medical staff in hazmat suits, two months' recovery from surgery, aggressive radiation and chemo treatments, and a Gran Mal seizure that nearly killed him. After about a year of fighting the cancer, an MRI revealed that the tumor was growing. The medical community discontinued treatment, and Alison cared for her dad until his death in March 2022, just 10 months ago as of this recording. In this episode, Alison digs deep to share how the crucible of suffering and loss that she endured with her dad is changing her. So listen closely. Alison has grappled with Death and returned, bearing hard-won gifts of clarity and wisdom for all of us. How can her experience with Death change how you live? Meet Alison Zimmerman Alison is a creative at heart and a veteran of the hospitality industry who specializes in curated experiences and event design, from 1-1 partnerships to festivals. Her company, Wise Aspirations, creates containers that inspire expression, expansion, collaboration, and healing. As you'll hear, her experience with her dad's death has focused her understanding of her purpose in the world more sharply than ever before. Highlights From the Conversation What matters more to Alison now after her ordeal with her dad What matters less to Alison now after her ordeal with her dad The everyday utility of contemplating your and your loved ones’ deaths How suffering leads us to serve Emotional expression as strength The important of connection to our Legacy How Pain can reveal our Purpose How Pain helps us overcome our Ego The importance of facing the Truth Making It Matter in Your Life What stuck with you from Alison's Story? Pause for a few moments. Allow your mind to quiet down and your heart to bring to the surface the one or two things from this conversation that are especially for you. As Alison exhorted us, "don't turn your head away from the Truth." Whatever your heart whispers to you in response to this episode, even if it's unpleasant or unwelcome, don't turn away from it. Instead, summon the courage to acknowledge it. Then, write it down so it becomes just a bit more real. Do that right now. Now...What's one thing, no matter how small, that you are willing and able to do to put one of your Insights into Action? Insight + Action = Transformation. By when will you do it? Let Alison's story change yours--let change you--before a crisis of your own makes it too late. Remember: You are going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Exchange Willpower for “We-power” in a Graveyard Group In the Graveyard Group, swap out willpower for "we-power" with the weekly support of your very own confidential board of advisors. Harness the power of the Mortality Mindset to break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, , find me on , , or , or . I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Let’s Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Alison | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/25833669

The Mortality Mindset: A New Way in the New Year to Make New Things a Reality 01/23/2023

The Mortality Mindset: A New Way in the New Year to Make New Things a Reality What new things do you have in mind for this new year? Maybe you want to tackle a new professional challenge. Maybe you want to pay more attention to your health. Maybe you want to dial back your intensity at work to make more time for family and friends. Whatever your new things are this year, how will you make them a reality? At the very least, how will you ensure that you’ll be able to say that you gave it your best shot? All of us are familiar with getting a strong start out of the gate–fueled by fresh inspiration and determination–but then fading somewhere along the way. Our willpower runs out. It’s discouraging and can be genuinely perplexing. “I really wanted to make that change,” we reflect regretfully to ourselves. “What happened?!” Let this be the year that you say goodbye to the demoralizing cycle of abandoned objectives and replace it with a new capacity for focus, perseverance, and tenacity that gets you where you want to go. Some of the prevailing wisdom out there tells us that we need to create better goals, manage our time more effectively, develop better morning routines, get more sleep, get up earlier, make sure you do a cold plunge and a sauna every day, and keep a journal, to name a few. Those are all well and good and doubtless have their time and place. But they also depend upon our finite reserves of inspiration and determination–resources that haven’t been adequate so far. What leads us to believe that our willpower will suddenly be up to the task this go-round? We need something more primal, more compelling, and more reliable. Something that we just can’t get around or ignore, even if we try. That’s what I’m going to give you today by sharing a simple message, a transformational mindset, and the practical means by which to apply the message and the mindset in the real world. The Message First, here’s the message. It’s short and sweet: You are going to die. Here it is a little differently: You ARE going to die. And one more time: YOU are going to die. It’s not a matter of IF; it’s just a matter of WHEN and HOW. Wake up. Say this with me: “I am going to die. It’s not a matter of if; it’s just a matter of when and how.” Most of us pay little attention to the reality of our Mortality. Some of us aggressively avoid thinking about it. There’s something deep inside of us that recoils at the thought and actively resists it. And in the absence of a personal encounter with Mortality, the comforts and conveniences of modern life simply distract us from the reality of our Mortality. But all of us will one day be forced to confront it. My experience has convinced me that avoiding the reality of our Mortality does us much more harm than good. It’s also convinced me that voluntarily confronting our Mortality is a key to living the life we were made to live with guts, gusto, and abandon and dying with no regrets. The Mindset So, the mindset I want to share with you is a way to transform your Mortality from an unpleasant reality that you avoid like the plague into the most powerful motivator you’ve ever had to create a life you’re proud of. I call it the Mortality Mindset. First, I’ll share a few snapshots from my story to show how this message and this mindset have changed my life. Then I’ll explain what the Mortality Mindset is and the practical means by which to apply it in your life. Snapshot 1: A Descent into Hell 25 years ago, I was a recent college grad, and after years of on-and-off, low-grade anxiety, my psychology had reached a perilous tipping point. I had been a gold-star kid all the way through college, but I now found myself aimless–without a plan, without an overarching purpose, and unable to find a way forward. Depression was beginning to sink its talons into me. Then, I began to experience some vague but persistent physical symptoms. My doctor wasn’t able to provide a clear diagnosis, and I suddenly found myself in the grips of severe, debilitating, and all-consuming anxiety–specifically about catastrophic health events and Mortality. My psychology had been pushed beyond its limits, and I was in a full-blown mental health crisis. No more a young man with the world as his oyster, I was now a young man clinging to his sanity by the thinnest of threads. At one point, it dawned upon me that I would rather die than go on living if relief from the psychological anguish didn’t arrive soon. Snapshot 2: A New Lease on Life Fast forward 14 years to 2012. Over the years, I had slowly and painfully found a way forward. I’d even gotten married, and my wife and I now had two young boys. Unfortunately, though, I’d let myself go physically and had picked up some unhealthy ways of trying to cope. I was 60 lbs. overweight, abusing alcohol, and smoking heavily. Then, in 2012, my brother-in-law got a bleak cancer diagnosis and began a three-year cancer battle that, sadly, ended in his death in 2015. As I watched him undergo excruciating and ultimately unsuccessful surgeries and treatments, I literally and figuratively looked down at my gut and realized that even though I wasn’t in control of when I died, I certainly wasn’t doing what I could to stay alive. I was gripped with a white-hot motivation to do whatever it took to get healthy again so I had a better chance of being around for my family as long as possible. Staring death in the face through my brother-in-law’s experience instantly clarified what was most important to me and supplied the will to act on it. It was the ultimate status quo-buster. For the first time, awareness of my Mortality was an asset rather than just a neurotic and crippling liability. Within a year, I was back to my fighting weight. I was on a completely new path of health and wellness, and the depression that had lurked annoyingly in the back of my mind for so long had vanished. Anxiety was still an unwelcome companion, but I was now a man in motion, not just a deer caught in the headlights. The momentum created by that tragic involuntary encounter with Mortality ultimately led to a major life renovation, our move out here to CO in 2014, and the professional path that I’m on today. Its effects are still unfolding. Take a moment to reflect on this question: How has an experience with Mortality impacted you? Snapshot 3: My Ally, Anxiety About four years ago, I reached a new level of exasperation with the Anxiety. All my years of trying to make it go away had been unsuccessful. One day, in desperation, in my mind’s eye I turned around to face the Anxiety–this unwelcome, uninvited, and tenacious hitchhiker in my psychology. And I said, “If you aren’t going to go away, then what are you here for?” That desperation-driven moment of surrender and acceptance transformed the Anxiety from a hated enemy into an unlikely ally. I had begun my work as a coach by this point. Thanks to my newfound acceptance of Anxiety’s place in my life, I had begun to wonder how my particular fixation on catastrophic health events and Mortality might be of use in my coaching work. I was certainly susceptible to thinking about Mortality too much. But I began to wonder: What if most other people thought about their Mortality too little–and as a result were twiddling their thumbs on the way to a regret-filled grave? From seemingly out of nowhere, the words “The Graveyard Group” sprang to mind, and I immediately sensed that there was something to it. In January 2019, the first Graveyard Group was formed. Today, Graveyard Groups members courageously and voluntarily tap into the power of their mortality each week to live with guts, gusto, and abandon and escape death-bed regrets. More on Graveyard Groups later. In 2020, I launched this podcast to share Mortality’s unmatched motivational power with a larger audience. Snapshot 4: My Friend, Mortality In the 3+ years that Mortality has had a central role in the way that I help people, it’s also become clear that it’s healing me. My once-bitter enemy, Mortality, has actually become a valued friend. Consistent voluntary consideration of my Mortality through The Graveyard Groups and the podcast has been a sort of exposure therapy. Through consistent, voluntary exposure, I’ve gotten braver. Today, I’m the boss of the Anxiety more than it is of me. Nothing has ever given me that much authority over the Anxiety before. It’s more than just an antidote for Anxiety, though, as significant as that is; I’m more alive today than I’ve ever been before. I’m living more boldly than ever before. I’m more ME than I’ve ever been before. The things that matter most get more of the attention they deserve than ever before. If I died today, I would be proud of the life I lived. And I have Death to thank for it. This is the Mortality Mindset in action. Personal Reflection Here are a couple questions for your own reflection: On a scale of 0-10, and you can’t pick 5, if you died today, how proud would you be of the life you’ve lived? If you died today, what’s one thing you would regret? But What is the Mortality Mindset, Exactly? I’ve described how the Mortality Mindset has become part of my life and how it’s impacted me. But what IS the Mortality Mindset, exactly? Simply put, the Mortality Mindset is the voluntary integration of awareness of your Mortality into your daily life. It creates the transformational impact of a real encounter with Mortality without the trauma and tragedy of one–and while there’s still time left to do something about it. It clarifies what’s most important to us and motivates us to give it the attention it deserves NOW, rather than waiting for the ever-elusive “tomorrow” or “someday.” It gives us the extra nudge we need to pursue a dream, to take a risk, to have the conversation we know we need to have. It provides a more compelling and reliable source of motivation than our finite, fickle, and fragile willpower. The Mortality Mindset is NOT normal. Those who embrace it are swimming upstream against their own innate tendencies and the prevailing tendencies of the culture we live in. It is rare, heroic, and life-affirming work. How Do I Use the Mortality MIndset in My Own Life? To use the Mortality Mindset, one must Cultivate it. Farmers don’t plant a seed one day and expect a fully mature crop the next. They plant the seed, water and fertilize it, and manage weeds over weeks and months in order to produce a crop. They cultivate their crop with care and consistency over time. The same is true of the Mortality Mindset. It must be cultivated with care and consistency over time, too. Each of us is different and has a different pre-existing relationship with Mortality, so there isn’t a one-size-fits-all list of steps that each of us has to take to cultivate the Mortality Mindset. There are no shortcuts, either. But here are some examples of things we can do: Die on Paper Before You Die for Real: Write your own obituary as if you’ve lived a life you’d be proud of. Be as specific as possible, and you get to choose when and how you die. Then, ask yourself what needs to change now in order for that obituary to have a chance at becoming a reality. With your Mortality as motivation, summon the courage to take action NOW on at least one of the things that needs to change. Revisit and revise your obituary occasionally, and take new action. Set Your Date of Death and Work Backwards from There by asking yourself this question and taking bold action on your answer: If I knew I was going to die 5 years from today, what would I start doing differently today? Make this podcast part of your routine, and resolve to do at least one thing in the real world–no matter how small–with a takeaway from each episode you listen to. Join a Graveyard Group so that voluntary awareness of your Mortality is built into your calendar each week. Create an intentional partnership with a friend, colleague, or coach for the specific purpose of cultivating and using the Mortality Mindset. Visit the old and dying to remind yourself of how quickly time flies and glean valuable lessons from their experience. Commune With the Dead by making occasional visits to your local cemetery. Read the tombstones, and reflect on the fact that you too will share the same fate as those buried there. Just like a farmer’s crop wilts and dies from neglect, so does the Mortality Mindset. Many of the guests on my podcast who have had extraordinary encounters with Mortality–people for whom you’d think the Mortality Mindset was now hardwired because of their experience–say that their awareness of Mortality fades over time. If it fades for them, how much more will it fade for us who haven’t had the same kind of experiences if we don’t tend to it diligently? How Will I Know If I’m Using the Mortality Mindset Effectively? A soybean farmer knows he’s successfully cultivated a soybean crop when soybeans appear on the plants. Here are some of the ways you’ll know you’re successfully cultivating the Mortality Mindset: You intentionally live in one-day increments, acknowledging that today is all we have. You make daily decisions about how to spend your time and energy with your Mortality in mind… You give the things that matter most more of the attention that they deserve NOW. For example, you prioritize relationships over tasks and cherish the mundane moments with family and friends. You value imperfect action now over “perfect” action tomorrow. You find yourself having to summon fresh courage more often in order to open up new personal and professional frontiers for yourself. What evidence do you find in your life that the Mortality Mindset is already at work? To Sum Up… Alright, let’s land the plane. Don’t rely on your finite, fickle, and fragile willpower to help you make the new things you have in mind this year a reality. Don’t pin all your hopes on today’s prevailing wisdom about how to achieve your goals, either. Reliance on willpower and prevailing wisdom just perpetuates the demoralizing cycle of abandoned objectives. Instead, dig deeper for a more primal, more compelling, and more reliable source of motivation: Cultivate the Mortality Mindset to acquire a new capacity for focus, perseverance, and tenacity that gets you where you want to go. Year after year until the day that you die, the Mortality Mindset will empower you to live with guts, gusto, and abandon and give the things that matter most the attention they deserve before it’s too late. Remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! : Exchange Willpower for “We-power” No matter how compelling the motivation, we still can’t do it alone. In the Graveyard Group, you not only have a consistent time and place to cultivate the Mortality Mindset, you also swap out willpower for the vastly superior “we-power.” With the support of your very own confidential board of advisors, break free from the status quo, become the person you were made to be, and live the life you were made to live. New groups for men and women are forming now. To learn more, schedule a free one-hour coaching session with me, or find me on , and , visit , or . I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. 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Report from the Frontier: A Pioneer's Tale, with Kris Reeves 11/28/2022

Report from the Frontier: A Pioneer's Tale, with Kris Reeves In episode 070, , I asserted that we humans are made for the Frontier and the Frontier is made for us. To shrink back from it is to do ourselves and everyone around us much more harm than good. It's a short solo episode, and if you haven't listened to it yet, hit pause on this one and cue up that one. It's a perfect appetizer for today's main course. Because today, we get a report from the Frontier from one of my favorite Pioneers, my friend Kris Reeves. This episode is episode 70 with skin on, so to speak, and it will encourage and equip you to take your next steps into the Frontier that's calling to you. Meet Kris Reeves I met Kris a couple of years ago in one of those small-world, technology-enabled moments of serendipity. He was researching real estate in my local Steamboat Springs market and came across my wife's Instagram business account. Kris and Charis connected, somehow I got looped in, and it quickly became evident that Kris and I had a lot in common and a lot to talk about. It's been a pleasure to watch his Frontier Story unfold since then. About 5 weeks ago, Kris called on the first weekday in almost two decades that he wasn't reporting to his corporate job. He was calling to celebrate that he'd burned the ships and fully committed to his new professional Frontier. Immediately, I knew I wanted to share his story, and Kris has been kind enough to oblige. Once you get to know Kris, though, I think you'll agree that he wasn't just doing me a favor. Helping others become Pioneers in their own right is part of his calling in life. Kris is Birmingham, AL born-and-raised, and his accent is music to my ears as a native Southeasterner myself. After almost 20 years in HVAC distribution and manufacturing, Kris and his wife, Jennifer, responded to the call of their next Frontier to invest in commercial real estate--self-storage, to be exact. They've had remarkable success in a remarkably short period of time. As Kris will attest, though, the apparent "overnight success" of Peak Storage Group, LLC was carried on the shoulders of years of preparation behind the scenes. Highlights From This Conversation How to discover your next Frontier. What it takes to break the power of the Status Quo and enter your new Frontier. How summoning the courage to enter your new Frontier not only changes you–it changes the world. How to cultivate the Pioneer mindset. The key to turning your dreams into reality. And more… The Mortality Mindset Will Propel You Into Your New Frontier In this Chapter of his Story, Kris' Frontier is a new professional path. But Frontiers in our lives come in all shapes and sizes and flavors. Maybe the Frontier calling to you right now has to do with your health or a relationship or a besetting fear. Some of you know exactly what Frontier is beckoning. Others of you aren't sure at all or are actively avoiding even the slightest suggestion of a Frontier. But one thing is true of all of you: There IS a new Frontier with your name on it. This is where the unmatched status-quo-busting power of the Mortality Mindset shines. If you knew you were going to die exactly 5 years from today, what Frontier would you venture into TODAY? Whatever your answer is, summon the courage right now to take your first steps toward it. "Tomorrow" never comes, but Death is inevitable. Don't die gazing upon your Frontier from afar. Instead, die exploring it with guts, gusto, and abandon. And if you're already in your new Frontier...keep going! Trusted Partners for Your Pioneering Journey Pioneering journeys are best undertaken with trusted, competent companions. That's precisely why I created . With your own confidential board of advisors in a small group setting, you break the power of the status quo and boldly forge ahead into the Frontiers that are important to you. You rob Death of deathbed regrets even as you use it to motivate you. New groups for men and women are launching in January, led by a fantastic team of facilitators. Take control of your Destiny. See if the Graveyard Group is right for you. Visit to learn more. See You In January, Lord Willin’ and the Creek Don’t Rise! I'm taking a creative break in December, so the next episode will air on Monday, January 9--Lord willin' and the creek don't rise. In the meantime, I wish all of you the very best of holiday seasons. In the midst of the hustle and bustle, give the things that matter most the attention they deserve. Hug the ones you love and tell them how much they mean to you. I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Let’s Connect I help men and women uncover what they really want in life and go after it with guts, gusto, and abandon. Find me on , and , visit , or Connect with Kris | | | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/25120614

Death Demystified: The Undertaker Takes Us to School, with Jamie Sarche 11/14/2022

Death Demystified: The Undertaker Takes Us to School, with Jamie Sarche “...So fire cremation, we really think, okay, somebody dies and, poof, they’re ash. But what happens is the body gets put in an oven, which is known as a retort. There's an open flame that's at about 1800 degrees. It's got a five-inch pipe that feeds the fuel into the fire. So it has a very high carbon footprint. It uses as much gas as a cross country road trip. And the body's tissues are burned away. Fat is popping, and it's cooking the body. And then after about two hours what's left is bone, which is filled with fossil fuel and burned. So it's devoid of any nutrients. And then it's put through something that's called a cremulator, which is basically a pulverizer. And that's what you get back–pulverized bone that we call ash.” -Jamie Sarche, Director of Pre-planning at How did those words hit you? Were you shocked, a little disgusted or even offended? Did it pique your curiosity? Did it hit close to home because a loved one has recently died? Whatever your first response was, take note of it, and keep reading. Meet Jamie Sarche Jamie Sarche helps people create end-of-life plans before the end of their life is actually upon them. Jamie helps us demystify death and dismantle our own residual death denial by taking us behind the scenes of a mortuary, connecting the dots between end-of-life preparedness and grief, making ancient Death and grief traditions relevant again, giving us an end-of-life planning toolkit, and making a compelling case for end-of-life preparations as an essential personal rite of passage. Highlights From This Conversation What actually happens when a body is cremated, and why it’s important for you to know The vital connection between end-of-life preparedness, grief, and personal empowerment What ancient Death and grief traditions have to teach us today How to create your own end-of-life planning toolkit Why end-of-life preparations are an essential personal rite of passage How This Episode Affected Me If you've tuned in much recently, you know that rites of passage are very much on my heart and mind right now. Episodes 60 and 69 tell more of that tale. Among the many things that stuck with me from this conversation with Jamie, the significance of end-of-life preparations as an important personal rite of passage is top of the list. By voluntarily undergoing this rite of passage, we deal a mighty blow to our denial of Death and empower ourselves to live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon, and give the gift of less complicated grief to the loved ones we'll leave behind. I've already set the ball in motion to complete end-of-life plans for me and my wife. Make This Episode Matter in Your Life Take a moment and breathe. Allow your heart and mind to bring to your attention the things from today's episode that are especially relevant to you. If it's a welcome Insight, receive it with joy and gratitude. If it's a less welcome Insight, but one that you know you needed nonetheless, receive it with courage and gratitude. Next, determine how you will pair your Insight with Action to move toward Transformation. Insight + Action = Transformation. What's one thing within your ability to control that you're able and willing to do between now and when the next episode of this show drops in two weeks? Whatever that thing is, commit to it, and do everything in your power to fulfill that commitment. For some extra motivation and inspiration, tune into Ep. 064, End-of-Life Planning: Why You Should Do It Now, and How, with Michelle Mathai. Her story is both tragedy and triumph--a compelling case study in the value of making your plans now, while you still can. The Graveyard Group: Demystify Death, and Live! I created The Graveyard Group to give us all a concrete, consistent way to demystify Death, dismantle our death denial, and harness Mortality's incomparable motivational power to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. With your own confidential board of advisors in a small group setting, you give the things that matter most the attention they deserve, before it's too late. It's easier to stick with the status quo...until suddenly, it isn't, when crisis hits and there's no more time for do-overs. Don't let the status quo get the best of you. Tap into Mortality's status-quo busting power, instead. See if the Graveyard Group is right for you. New groups for men and women are launching in January, led by a fantastic team of facilitators. to learn more. I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Let’s Connect To learn more about how I can help you live your one-and-only life with even more guts, gusto, and abandon, ind me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Jamie | | Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/24978507

Forward, Pioneer!: Why the “Frontier” is the Best Place to Be 10/31/2022

Forward, Pioneer!: Why the “Frontier” is the Best Place to Be What comes to mind when you hear the word “frontier?” Covered wagons? Lewis and Clark? Space–the “final frontier,” for all you Trekkies out there? Danger, uncertainty, a place to avoid? Or how about excitement, discovery, a place to seek? In this modern age, the Frontier is neither an idea nor a reality with much apparent relevance or appeal. Most of us tread well-worn paths that lead to familiar destinations in our day-to-day lives. That, my friend, is a problem, because we were made for the Frontier, and the Frontier was made for us. We are tapping into the fullness of our humanity when we push into uncharted territory. And whether we like it or not, ALL of us will be forced to encounter new Frontiers in one way or another many times in our lives. We might as well be ready for it. Let’s become seasoned Pioneers. Divine Intervention “God, help. I have no idea what to do. Help me. Please.” I was on my knees on the floor in what used to be our home office. I was at my wit’s end. A work situation was stretching me well beyond my abilities, and I was stuck and scared. I think I’ve only prayed a handful of truly honest prayers in my life. Not because I ever intentionally set out to utter dishonest prayers, but rather because until I’m truly hard-pressed, until I really feel like my back is up against the wall, I often utter prayers from the head rather than the heart. A prayer that conveys, in essence, “God, I’m working on this thing, but thought I’d loop you in just in case you have anything to offer.” Maybe you can relate to that. On this occasion, though, my prayer was an honest prayer of genuine desperation. Lest you’re tempted to think of me as any more spiritual than is warranted, I have to confess that my phone was on the floor next to me. Because, heaven forbid, what if I missed a game-changing notification of some sort while I was communing with the Divine?! But, as they say, God works in mysterious ways, because as I uttered my desperate prayer, my phone buzzed to announce the arrival of a text. And yes, I checked to see who it was from. “Hang on, God, be right back with you.” It was from my dad who, as it happened, knew I was in the middle of a really challenging situation. “You will meet God on the frontiers of your own ability,” his text began. “That’s where He’s waiting for you. Not short of that, or out beyond that where you think you “should” be or you wish you were.” “Thx, Dad,” I wrote back, with tears of relief rolling down my cheeks and stunned by the way the truth of his words penetrated my heart. “Encouraging and timely. I’m definitely feeling like I’m on the frontier and disoriented. I was on my knees praying when you texted. Thank you.” “Then go with confidence,” was his simple response. “God is with you.” The Best Place to Be Go with confidence? Go with confidence. God is with you. Though the terrain wasn’t any more familiar or any less menacing than before, and the stakes still felt impossibly high, this Frontier was now the best possible place to be rather than a place from which to escape as soon as possible. In an instant, my relationship with this particular Frontier was transformed. So was my relationship with the Frontier in general. On the frontiers of my ability, I now saw more clearly, God comes alongside to help me take the next steps. It’s not as if he’s not with me when I’m operating within my established zone of competence, exactly; it’s just that his intervention isn’t needed because I’m already up to the task. And far be it from God to be over-responsible and coddling, as we humans are often tempted to be. So, He waits for us out on the bleeding edges of our ability, eager to supply what we need in order to expand our frontiers even farther. The perfect Father. I want to be where God is bringing all of His mighty power to my aid as often as I can be. My relationship with the discomfort that the Frontier inevitably brings was overhauled, too. Fear, uncertainty, and disorientation are all normal responses to the Frontier. In fact, they’re like indicators on our personal dashboard, notifying us that we’re approaching unfamiliar territory. Or, they might be indicating that we’re actually approaching a familiar border of Frontier territory into which we’ve never been willing to venture. We just keep bumping up against its borders and retreating as soon as we make contact. As a result, it has remained hostile and unsettled–a barrier to our forward progress. Now, though, I’m more able to see fear, uncertainty, and disorientation as potentially positive signs that I’m venturing into growth territory rather than warning signs that there’s a deadly waterfall ahead. I can say to myself, “Hey, looks like you’re scared and disoriented. You must be operating on the frontiers of your own ability. Good work. Stick with it. And remember: God is with you, so go with confidence.” In short, I’m becoming a more seasoned Pioneer. If you share a spiritual orientation similar to mine, then you may already have derived some fresh comfort and motivation from what I’ve shared thus far–especially if my account has helped you realize that YOU are operating on the frontiers of your own ability right now. But even if you don’t have a similar spiritual orientation, it’s still true that the Frontier–far from a place of peril and woe to be avoided at all costs–is actually the BEST place to be. What Makes the Frontier the Best Place to Be? So what makes the Frontier the BEST place to be? Why would we put in the work to become a more seasoned Pioneer? First, whether you find yourself there voluntarily or involuntarily, operating on the frontiers of our own abilities fortifies us against the many perils of this life. It’s the metaphorical weight room of our lives, where we add more weight to the bar. Additional weight adds more resistance, and repeated attempts to overcome that resistance give us greater strength, resilience, and adaptability in the face of life’s many perils. By contrast and by definition, the complacency and atrophy that come from only ever operating within our abilities are existential threats. Whenever possible, then, voluntarily open up new Frontiers in your life so that you’re better prepared for the involuntary Frontiers that Life will inevitably bring your way. Secondly, operating on the frontiers of our own abilities helps us find our unique Path in the world. You are on the offensive, deploying a spirit of voluntary exploration, seeing “what’s out there,” so to speak, rather than hoping that “what’s out there” will come find you. You are creating your own storyline within the ancient tale of human exploration and adventure. When we test ourselves on the Frontier, we come to understand more clearly the kind of human we are and what our ideal operating conditions are like. We also come to understand more clearly what kind of human we are NOT and what our adverse operating conditions are like. As we begin to travel our unique Path in life, we begin to fulfill purposes along that Path that are uniquely ours to fulfill. We take our place in the world and in the grand Story of humankind. You are wind in the sails of the human enterprise rather than an anchor holding it back. Thirdly, in time, new Frontiers become settled territory. They are no longer the realm of the unknown but get enfolded into the realm of the Known. They define the new borders of your expanded zone of competence. From those new borders, you can venture into new Frontiers that were once well beyond your reach. In addition to greater personal strength and the fulfillment that comes from treading your own Path, you now have more power and influence to wield for the world’s good. Become a Seasoned Pioneer The Frontier is the best place to be. On the frontiers of our own ability, we get stronger, we find our unique Path in life, and we acquire more power and influence to wield for the world’s good. We were made for the Frontier, and the Frontier was made for us. We are tapping into the fullness of our humanity when we push into uncharted territory. And whether we like it or not, ALL of us will be forced to encounter new Frontiers in one way or another many times in our lives. So we might as well be ready for it. It’s good to become a more seasoned Pioneer? What’s your relationship with the Frontier like? What kind of Pioneer are you? Do you consistently recoil in fear or automatically register the indicators on your dashboard as a signal to turn around? Maybe some Frontiers–at work, for example–are welcome challenges but others–at home, for example–are confusing and anxiety-provoking. Whatever your relationship with the Frontier is like, what’s just one way you could upgrade it? Start where you are, summon the courage to venture just a little bit more into the Frontier, and hold that new ground with tenacity–through all of the attending discomfort–until it becomes part of your settled territory. Then, advance again, Pioneer. And for some extra status-quo-busting motivation, remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Companions for the Journey Even seasoned Pioneers need a companion for the journey. Connect with me on , and , visit , or .. Or, enlist a group of fellow pioneers to support you in your journey by joining a Graveyard Group. New groups are forming now. Visit andrewpettycoach.com to learn more. I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/24839727

From Boy to Young Man: Reflections on a Rite of Passage, With My Firstborn Son Macgray 10/17/2022

From Boy to Young Man: Reflections on a Rite of Passage, With My Firstborn Son Macgray A year or so ago, I became captivated by the idea of creating rites of passage experiences for our boys when each of them turned 13--an age that to me represents the transition from childhood to young manhood. I don't remember what first turned me on to the idea. But once it took root in my heart and mind, it didn't let go. I explored the idea further through my own reading about traditional rites of passage and in a conversation with my coach, Amy Musson, in episode 060, called . I became more and more persuaded of its importance and more and more determined to make it happen for our boys. But I've dreamed big with nothing to show for it before. And in the midst of life's normal everyday demands, it would have been a lot easier NOT to do. Long-story-short, this episode is a triumphant fist-pump: My wife and I recently pulled off our first rite of passage experience for our older son, Macgray. Today, Macgray shares what it was like for him and what it meant to him. What’s In It For You? Parents with kids still at home, I hope you'll listen closely to Macgray's words and be persuaded to craft a rite of passage for your kids, too, if you haven't already. Everyone else, broaden your application of this episode to any of life's other major transitions--marriage, mid-life, job changes, the death of a loved one, for example. How can ritual accompany those transitions in ways that acknowledge the incredible energy contained within them and channel it in positive ways? What collateral damage will failure to attach ritual to those transitions cause? What benefits might it bring? What Did Macgray’s Rite of Passage Include? Before we dive in, some insight into the specifics of Macgray's rite of passage experience will be useful. First, we created a guide that we called The Path to Your Rite of Passage. It shared a bit about the historical precedent for rites of passage and the three traditional phases--preparation, transition, and reintegration--outlined what he could expect for his own rite of passage, and clarified what would be expected of him. In the preparation phase, Macgray was expected to watch and listen to a handful of videos and podcast episodes we handpicked for him and share what he learned with us. In the transition phase--a phase characterized by mental and physical challenge--he was charged with hiking to and successfully crossing the Devil's Causeway, an exposed high-elevation ridge of rock in a nearby wildnerness area. The reintegration phase had two parts: First, a "campfire council of the elders" with me, my dad, and my father-in-law--where we read prepared letters to him of encouragement, exhortation, and instruction, and officially welcomed him into young manhood. Second, upon his return from the campfire council of the elders, a party with the whole family to welcome him back into the family as a young man. Macgray shared some reflections about his rite of passage experience with the family at that gathering, and his mom and two grandmas read their letters to him, too. I invite you to tune in for the whole candid conversation with my firstborn son, Macgray, recorded in the comfort of his room just a day after the big party with the family, to hear what the rite of passage experience was like for him and what it meant to him. By extension, you’ll learn what role rite of passage experiences can play in your life and the lives of those you love. The Work Has Only Just Begun Folks, the rite of passage experience was more meaningful and rewarding than either my wife or I expected it to be. The family party was a tearful and joyful exclamation mark on the whole process. I'm SO glad we put in the time and energy to pull it all together. The truth is, however, that Macgray didn't magically transform into a fully mature, fully responsible young man simply because he had a rite of passage experience. Nor does it insure that he will become such a man. The ritual doesn't create the reality. But it does make way for the reality. Having officially bid farewell to his childhood, intentionally encountered the emotions that come along with that goodbye, and welcomed him into young manhood, we're all reading from the same sheet of music, and the stage is set for his next developmental phase. It will be up to me and my wife to clarify what new responsibilities we expect him to fulfill, to resist the temptation to do for him what he can do for himself, and to provide new freedoms and opportunities as he demonstrates himself to be responsible and trustworthy. It's clearer to me even as I say this that we've got our work cut out for us. In a sense, it really would have been easier NOT to have gone through with the whole thing--not to have set our sights so high for him and for us. But it only would have been easier in the short-term. In the long-term, the unnecessary pain and hardship brought upon Macgray and, by extension, upon ourselves for failing to do our very best to equip him for life on his own would far outweigh the temporary convenience of not creating the rite of passage experience. What About You? And so I ask you: Where is ritual missing in your life? What rite of passage awaits that will make way for a new reality for you, your child, or a loved one? You Don’t Have to Reinvent the Wheel; Borrow Mine! I'm glad to share the rite of passage guide and share more in-depth about rites of passage and the experience we created for Macgray with anyone who's interested. You can find me on , and , visit , or . I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying. Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review | | | If You Liked This Episode, I Think You’ll Like These, Too /episode/index/show/andrewpettyisdying/id/24696354

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