Straight Talk for a Curvy World®
Straight Talk for a Curvy World® is a podcast about life after 40 and the challenges women face. Host Ann Peck talks to women (and a few men) some you’ve never heard of - and some you have… about the things, we don’t talk about… the things we keep inside because we feel ashamed, confused or fear we’ll be judged. These conversations cover the messy stuff, like grief, death, divorce & hormones. Losing the money, losing our minds, losing ourselves… we talk about sex, dating, affairs, and starting over… the second half of life, building a business, pursuing a passion and following a dream… and we talk about love.
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Mental Health, Anxiety, Self-Harm and More
01/18/2023
Mental Health, Anxiety, Self-Harm and More
A single act doesn’t define us, nor does a moment in time. When we feel weak or powerless, we search internally for the one version of ourselves that we think will best cope with the situation we are faced with. If our history includes anxiety, anger, or apprehension, we are basically like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’ll get. Often, we systematically compare our pain to that of our peers to self-judge our normality. Still, in doing so, we risk gathering all the pain within ourselves, primarily if we identify with it. Ultimately, we project our anxiety and anger inwards or outwards. If we understand that both are okay – just different – we take the following steps to emotional freedom. If you'd like to stay connected, please visit Ann's website and sign up to receive her weekly Love Notes.
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Aging Women Learn About Physical and Emotional Limits
01/17/2023
Aging Women Learn About Physical and Emotional Limits
*Consider who may be listening with you. This episode contains fun stuff that only adults should hear. A Special Passage for Monica From - Sometimes, it comes as a soft-bellied whisper. Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency, but it always says, “Wake up, my love. You are walking asleep; there’s no safety in that.” Now, Where Did I Put That? Aging can be fun if we consider it a never-ending game of hide-and-seek. The physical aspects of getting older are more accessible for us to deal with than the mental and emotional changes occurring within our bodies. We may understand that a tire with a nail in it isn’t fit to be on the road, but if the exact tire doesn’t feel like going out for a Sunday drive because it may or may not feel flat, we have a hard time accepting that. And it’s not just us. There is a lot of judgment among people who view another person as being emotional as a weakness. Most of us remember when we have commented negatively about someone who allows their mental state to overwhelm them and take over their life. We might later be sorry for having said it, but we already passed judgment. Our Ever Changing Hormones If having a five o’clock shadow isn’t enough, we get to read our prescription bottle for our female dryness medication with our “readers” (If you don’t know, it’s the cool way to say bifocals). And older sisters – if you are lucky enough to have one – were given to us as gifts from God, as town criers to alert us on our next genetic mutation. Realizing that science and chemistry are behind what we feel is an excellent tool for reconnecting with ourselves and finding balance through proper nutrition. If we ignore our bodies, as Monica did, we may find ourselves gasping for breath, thinking today might be our last day. We, women, have the propensity to suffer silently. It’s Best to Switch to Vodka Now Monica shares her darkness, light, and compassion in today’s call. We also ponder these questions... Does a glass of red wine trigger hot flashes during the night? Are meditations and exercise black magic for curing memory lapses? If you'd like to get in touch with Monica and see what she's been up to since this was recorded, you can visit her website
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Accepting Ourselves Without Judgement
01/17/2023
Accepting Ourselves Without Judgement
In this Best of Straight Talk for a Curvy World® episode, I talk about my book. became a #1 Best-selling book upon release and continues to show up in the top ten even today. It also won SIX national and international book awards and was selected for review by Publisher's Weekly. And even though I write about #Me-Too, my book was released long before the world ever heard that phrase! I hope you'll check it out and leave a review. Click on the title above, or request the book from your favorite bookseller. Emotional Pain in the Physical Form During Christine’s uncertainty about staying in her marriage, she began having chest pains and suffered from shingles. At the time, she was unaware of the physical connection to her emotional distress. She recommends going to a doctor and talking with a trusted friend about what ails you. It may uncover that you have been trying to mold yourself into a form someone else wants you to be instead of who you are. Practice self-love, and do some internal work to help clear your mind. Why Can’t We Live the Life We Want to Live? Many women spend a lot of time comparing themselves to other women. We see a photo or read a story, and we think the woman we are looking at has everything together. We wonder what is wrong with us and why we don’t have that certain something. But remember, when you look at a person’s picture, you don’t see a person’s history, you don’t see fear, and you don’t see their anxiety. We all have a past. Women need to talk to each other and say the magic words, ‘me too.’ Because you are not alone, and you are not crazy either. “There is no safety in silence — only isolation and disconnection.” — Ann Peck. There is Life After Divorce It is much easier to settle than it is to step out of your comfort zone and into the life you want. If you do leave your marriage, Christine recommends spending some time with yourself before you go looking for someone to spend your time with. It’s more important to love and learn more about yourself than to run out and find your next knight in shining armor. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions, and feedback with me at or on social media . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it).
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Grief, Anxiety and Moving Through Time
01/17/2023
Grief, Anxiety and Moving Through Time
Lucky is how Mo Hannah describes herself. And when you consider the profound impacts she has withstood, you can agree that Mo Hannah is indeed lucky. Mo was destined to have found the Battered Mothers Custody Conference. Her personal life gave her reason, and her humanity gave her purpose. Ann and Mo talk about how being in the present can alleviate anxiety and how taking your time to feel out a problem gives your inner voice a chance to speak. The physical pain caused by grief is not a structured ailment. There is no amount of time when it ceases to be, but it does change form over time. Understanding that when we pass, we move on to a different realm, another level of consciousness, where we immerse ourselves in the universe. Mentions: - Napolean Hill
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The Journey of Caregiving Our Aging Parents
01/17/2023
The Journey of Caregiving Our Aging Parents
Caring for our parents can be one of the greatest gifts in life and one of our greatest hardships. You can never quite prepare yourself for the physical and emotional changes on the way. It is a challenging time that requires us to be many things to many people. We are the lucky ones spending as much time as possible with the people who gave us life. We are not alone on this journey. Mentions:
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Learning to FLY - (First Love Yourself)
01/17/2023
Learning to FLY - (First Love Yourself)
*This is an adult conversation, so please be aware of who may be listening with you. A Special Passage for Lisa “I am worthy. You were born worthy. You don’t have to do anything to make yourself worthy. You are a superhero born into this world, and being you is all you need to do. Express yourself, and don’t believe the hype that says you need to be anything more than your amazing self. I used to believe I wasn’t deserving of great things, but when I began declaring my worth, my life changed for the better.” - from the soon-to-be best-seller, I AM...: A Girl’s Guide to Harnessing SuperPowers. The “I AM” Initiative Even though we live in the same area, the universe wanted and me to meet in Florida. We both have made it our mission to propagate the “I AM” habits. As a listener of my podcast, you are aware of how I broadcast the message. Lisa spreads the message by empowering 3rd to 8th-grade girls with superpowers and the three rules of self-defense. She teaches them that the right action is the action you take when you love yourself, you trust who you are, and you trust what you feel. Lisa often encounters young girls bombarded with “this is who you are” and “this is who you need to be” directives. In her workshops and retreats, girls discover they can freely say “No. I know who I am.” Lisa’s Journey The common thread that is woven through Lisa’s past life is one of feeling unworthy. She succumbed to playing the part of the victim until a final “push” made her reconsider her role in her own life. She says, “Your path and your journey begin with what you believe about yourself, which moves into creating your experiences. I truly do believe anything is possible. If you set yourself on the course you want to be on, you will get there with the consistent behaviors of self-love, self-care, self-responsibility, and self-compassion. When you bring these things into your life, anything is possible.” Lisa loves sharing these experiences because it gives her bright light a chance to shine. “The truth is, to heal, we all need to tell our stories and have them witnessed.” from The Dance of the Dissident Daughter - Sue Monk Kidd. Lisa knew she needed to pay forward the kindness she received from the two owners of the kickboxing studio she went to every day after she started living her life with love, forgiveness, and gratitude. She decided to share, with young girls, the encouragement she so desperately needed when she was young and couldn’t calculate her value. So, Lisa is Perfect Now, Right? Even though she adds practices to her life to reach a state of mindfulness, Lisa admits she has much further to go. It’s not like you make one decision and everything is instantly accessible. A tendency towards self-sabotage is a fierce dragon that is hard to slay. The ego lives, and so do collective expectations of success. Lisa says that when a self-defeating thought takes over, she thinks about things that she loves, things that need to be forgiven, and things she is grateful for, so it becomes easier to cope with the trap of “I’ll love myself when.” The Shadow Dance There is light and dark in all of us. The dark will come, and there is no avoiding it and accepting yourself exactly as you allow you to release the craving for what you desire. It is the craving to make something last that creates suffering. If you release your desire before it arrives, you are given the joy of having it. No one thing is easy or hard for people to release. It’s based on the individual; for Lisa, it’s her business. She says, “it’s a crunchy I can’t get rid of.” Her advice to those of us stuck in our cravings, whether to be in a relationship or to find forgiveness for those who may have hurt us, is to take a deep breath and then go out and do something that will feel good today. It will bring completeness, wholeness, and happiness. Learn How to Get SuperPowers of Your Own To stay in touch with Lisa and get weekly updates about her new book, her “I AM” initiative, and her confidence coaching, enlist at . Her latest book, , and accompanying cards will be available very soon. You are Not the Only One, and You Are Not Crazy Either If you found value in this podcast, please share it. If you need someone to talk safely and privately with, email me at . This email is confidential, so you can feel secure knowing that your truth is safe with me. The more support we all have and can give, the better our community will be. If you want to connect socially, you can find me on social media at .
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A Conversation About Mental Illness
01/17/2023
A Conversation About Mental Illness
Most of us believe medicines will heal our illnesses. We do not expect a drug to exacerbate our problems, so when one does, it’s difficult to know it is at the root of the problem. Karen shares with us how Prozac caused a mania that led her down the dark hallways of depression, suicidal thoughts, and the disintegration of her marriage to a good man. She has since recovered and sings jazz twice weekly and serves as a spiritual advisor in the unity church. Mentions: - Neale Donald Walsch - Emily Cady
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Jordan Harbinger Talks About How Men Deal With Grief
01/11/2023
Jordan Harbinger Talks About How Men Deal With Grief
Detaching yourself from grief shortly after a loss is a reliable way to ensure you prolong its influence. Frequently, additional losses compound the suffering and may cause other behaviors which eventually take their toll on your well-being. And even though most of us have difficulty handling grief, it seems men are more likely to bottle it up and not let it out. Jordan shares with us his recent reaction to the news about the loss of a peer and how he became aware of the value of living a more fulfilling life. We all must deal with this topic at some point in our lives. Jordan is one of the most talented people I know, and he's also one of my favorites. I've loved watching him grow his show and his family since we originally recorded this episode. Jordan Harbinger is a man worth knowing. But don't take my word for it; get to know him yourself. Be sure to check out Jordan's podcast, The Jordan Harbinger Show. Awarded a Best of Apple Podcast, you will love listening to the fascinating conversations and guests Jordan shares. You'll find everything you need to get to know Jordan and his podcast on his website!
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Anxiety & Starting Over in Your 40s
01/11/2023
Anxiety & Starting Over in Your 40s
We don’t always plan on being pushed in the right direction, and more often than not, it takes us by surprise, especially when we are in our 40s. It usually happens when we take a deep breath and martyr our lives for those we care about. In Ellen’s case, her push came right after she bought her coveted little red corvette. She suddenly found herself needing a new way to support her family. And instead of wallowing in anxiety, she channeled her father’s wisdom and chose to do something that would make her happy for the rest of her life. Mentions: Daring Greatly
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Building a Better Relationship with Yourself
01/11/2023
Building a Better Relationship with Yourself
Many of us are just finding ourselves again in our 40s. Our relationships up until this point have been with people with which we share similar emotional attributes. We may try to recreate our family of origin because it is a familiar place. When we learn to stop living through other people, we start to have better relationships with ourselves. We can then build upon our losses and take risks that catapult us into clarity. Through meditation, we can tune into our inner wisdom, which will guide us in our journey. If you have benefited from this podcast and think it could benefit someone else, please share this podcast with a friend.
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Introducing the Best of Straight Talk for a Curvy World®
01/05/2023
Introducing the Best of Straight Talk for a Curvy World®
Welcome to a new season as we introduce the Best of Straight Talk for a Curvy World® podcast series. This "best of" series features some of your favorite Straight Talk for a Curvy World® podcast episodes. Over the coming days and weeks, you'll have an opportunity to get reacquainted with our previous guests while we work behind the scenes on the next season of the all-new Straight Talk for a Curvy World® podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a single episode!
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Discussing The Controversy Of Bioidentical Hormones With Kelli Jaecks | STCW 058
06/23/2017
Discussing The Controversy Of Bioidentical Hormones With Kelli Jaecks | STCW 058
Kelli Jaecks has been speaking nationally and internationally for ten years and is wrapping up work on her book Martinis and Menopause (out later this year). We’re discussing bioidentical hormones to help unshroud some of the controversy you may have heard about them. To start off, bioidenticals are made from plants. This means they cannot go through the same vetting process that chemicals made in a lab go through. The FDA does not grade and test them. Even so, Kelli is a believer and has used them for ten years on her journey through perimenopause and now during her postmenopausal state. Prescriptions vs. Over the Counter A key thing to keep in mind about bioidentical prescriptions is that they are not done through a “one size fits all” method. You usually have a blood draw which comes back with a detailed screen of estrogens, testosterone, and other hormones which your prescription is then tailored to. Your bioidentical is made on site at a compounding pharmacy specific to your prescription, which is vastly different than other prescriptions you may have. So what about over the counter bioidentical cremes? The main difference is in the dosages. The first thing Kelli tells women when discussing bioidenticals is usually to go pick up some from the store, like a phyto-progesterone crème. Just put some on your skin and see if helps you take the edge off some of your irritability. Another symptom these cremes can help alleviate is brain fog – that feeling you get when you can’t remember what you were just doing, writing, or even thinking. Thankfully this is a transient symptom and won’t actually cause any lasting harm, even though it may feel like it at the time. Remember, you’re not alone; there are about 158 women just like you going through perimenopause as well. Knowledge is Power What’s going on when your partner (or even your dog) looks at you the wrong way and you just want to bite their head off? Let’s demystify some symptoms and behaviors you may have experienced. You have estrogen receptors in your brain and if you don’t have enough of the hormone to fill them you can be left feeling extremely irritated. Serotonin, a feel-good neurotransmitter, is something that often has large level swings and can leave you very agitated when you don’t have enough of it. Doing something relaxing and tactile, like walking outside, listening to a water feature or a favorite wind chime are good ways to stimulate release of serotonin. You may not want to hug someone, but if you do you’ll jumpstart the release of more serotonin as well. Don’t be a hormone hostage! Be honest with your partner, that your irritability stems from you and not them. You’re working on understanding what you are going through better so you can learn to cope with the symptoms. Sex and Desire Kelli was surprised when her desire to have sex waned during perimenopause. Going from a very sensual partner to being consistently turned off was a shock, and something that was not an option for Kelli. She had to find ways to turn her brain on so she could retain some of her sex drive. Thinking back to satisfying sexual memories is one way to go about this. Kelli also found a way to view sex as marriage maintenance, a giving for her partner. She changed her outlook on sex during times of low drive so she could stay in a healthy sexual relationship with her partner. Believe it or not, scheduling in sex on the calendar works too. So when your desire is diminished you can see that the date is coming up, and it gives you time to prepare and get ready in a way that works for you. Being a good partner means understanding what you respond to and what your needs are, so masturbation can be a key component to exploring what ways best arouse and fulfill you. Sex, like anything, is a use it or lose it activity. Kelli and I are here to help you gain knowledge and empower you to get where you need to be on your own time. Links www.kellijaecks.com
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EP057: Accepting Ourselves, How We Are, Without Judgment with Christine Khetarpal
05/18/2017
EP057: Accepting Ourselves, How We Are, Without Judgment with Christine Khetarpal
My guest on today’s podcast is the Certified Life Coach at . Christine Khetarpal helps women who are contemplating divorce make clear, confident choices. Christine learned the hard way, filing for divorce four times before making the final commitment. She offers all of the beautiful women listening to this podcast a free reassurance tool, to help you love yourself during a difficult time. Why I'm Smiling on the Inside Smiling On the Outside: Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-Love is being released on June 6th, and then on June 8th I will be personally signing copies of my book at the Barnes and Nobles in New York City, yes, you read that correctly, right in the middle of Union Square! The signing is a free event. The only thing I ask of you is to share this information. Visit the Straight Talk for a Curvy World Facebook page, and share the event announcement or tell your friends. I look forward to seeing you there and discussing this important topic. Emotional Pain in the Physical Form During Christine’s uncertainty about staying in her marriage, she began having chest pains, and suffered from shingles. At the time, she was unaware of the physical connection to her emotional distress. She recommends going to a doctor, but also talking with a trusted friend about what ails you. It may uncover that you have been trying to mold yourself into a form someone else wants you to be, instead of who you really are. Practice some self-love, and do some internal work, to help clear your mind. Why Can’t We Live the Life We Want to Live? Many women spend a lot of time comparing themselves to other women. We see a photo or read a story, and we think the woman we are looking at has everything together. We wonder what is wrong with us, and why we don’t have that certain something. But remember, when you look at a person’s picture, you don’t see a person’s history, you don’t see fear, and you don’t see their anxiety. We all have a past. Women need to talk to each other and say the two magic words, ‘me too’. Because you are not alone and you are not crazy either. “There is no safety in silence — only isolation and disconnection.” — Ann Peck There is Life After Divorce It is much easier to settle than it is to step out of your comfort zone and into the life you really want. If you do leave your marriage, Christine recommends spending some time with yourself before you go looking for someone to spend your time with. It’s more important to love and learn more about yourself than it is to run out and find your next knight in shining armor. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me at or on social media . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it).
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EP056: Creating a Better Body Image
04/13/2017
EP056: Creating a Better Body Image
Welcome home, everyone. I am so happy to be back with you on the Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast. My break was just a little longer than I had anticipated, but I took the time to line up some amazing guests for upcoming episodes. Today, Elaine Turso is here to tell us about her business, and to discuss body image. Why I'm Smiling on the Outside Because my book is done! My long-awaited book is complete and it has a new title, Smiling On the Outside: Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-Love. It will be available on June 6th, 2017. I’ll be sharing more about it as the launch date approaches. A Quote to Kick Off the Conversation "A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” — from Tim Ferriss’s book Body Image: The subjective picture or mental image of one's own body. Elaine Turso has a rule in her studio, anyone coming in for a photography session must adhere to, they are not allowed to say anything disparaging towards themselves. She calls it being body positive. Many women have a hard time standing naked in front of the mirror. Their first reaction is to let their inner mean girl judge and criticize them. But, Elaine wants to change that. At her boudoir studio, Elaine starts by making women feel beautiful by helping them to dress in a flattering piece of lingerie, then she elegantly lights the scene and she works to capture the woman’s beauty, inside and out. She wants to ultimately capture their soul. Women are subjected to unrealistic ideas of what a woman’s body should look like and Elaine is saying, “enough.” Elaine has lived with a burn on her upper torso since she was 5. It took a long time for her to come into body acceptance, which she says, is a mind shift change. She tried to cover herself at all times at school. She was blessed with having very supportive people in her life. Elaine knows not everyone has that. She has finally accepted her body now that she is close to 40. Using Photography for Healing Elaine courageously shares her story of being violated as a young girl. She identifies with those who need healing and she tells a story of one woman who wanted to recreate the scene of when she was attacked. Elaine was charged with the difficult task of capturing the hurt and the trauma. “The Uprising of Annie” shoot was followed up by a video, in which the woman told the story of being robbed of her sense of safety at the age of 13. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me at or on social media . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it). Join the Straight Talk for Curvy World Community on FB and take the survey I mention in the podcast.
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EP055: Important Conversations Should Be Heard Again
09/29/2016
EP055: Important Conversations Should Be Heard Again
Thank you all so much for the anniversary messages you sent me to celebrate this podcast’s one-year milestone last week. When you send in messages and share your stories with me, it validates that we are achieving our goals with this podcast. I know we are making a difference in each other’s lives. You are not alone and You are not crazy either. Today’s episode is a replay of a previous episode with Monica Tarr. Monica’s deeply engaging episode is a conversation worth hearing again. Follow this link to read the show notes from the original episode, . Don’t worry if next week’s episode doesn’t automatically download in your podcast player, the Straight Talk for a Curvy World Podcast will be taking a short, one month break to organize and develop some amazing new content for the upcoming, Season 2! Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories Do you need to catch up on early episodes of this podcast? If you do, go to . You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page or on social media, . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me. Be sure to and share your review on whichever platform you use to listen.
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EP054: Not Everyone is Ready to Write Their Story
09/22/2016
EP054: Not Everyone is Ready to Write Their Story
Today’s episode marks the one year anniversary of my Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast. I truly believe in the work we are doing here on the show and all of your generous feedback lets me know you believe in it too. To help me celebrate this milestone, I am speaking today with an amazing woman, . Ann was my very first guest on my very first episode of this podcast. During her episode, , she opens all the way up and shares her secret truths. Her episode is to date, the most popular and most downloaded episode from the past year. A Great Writing Coach Ann Sheybani is my writing coach. If she tells me I am ready to release my book, I believe her. Ann says there are many people who are not able to share their stories with the world because they have not yet dealt with their emotions around the subject they want to write about. According to Ann, “When you are writing about your past, your feelings come back to you as if you are experiencing them again...” She says, many people dissociate from their feelings which make them hard to access. If they want to write a powerful story they have to think about everything they were feeling at the time and allow the reader to identify with the why behind the what. As a book coach, Ann Sheybani likes to form deep bonds with her clients. She wants the relationship to be a positive one for both parties. She will refuse a client if they are damaged or need more therapy than writing can provide. But she says, when a writer is ready to learn and to be critiqued without getting their feelings hurt, she can help them to uncover their role in their past situation. And, that is when the story gets interesting. I Thought I Loved Myself While I was revising my still untitled book, there were numerous epiphanies that bubbled up. One epiphany that really stood out was looking back at all the times I thought I loved myself. How do you know if you love yourself anyway? If I thought I loved myself then and I think I love myself now…how is a girl supposed to know? Given the transformative process that this book has had on me, I realize it is much easier to be honest than it is to hide things. There will always be someone judging. It’s unavoidable. The takeaway I want people to get from my book is to remind them they are not alone, they are not the only one, and they are not crazy either. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories Do you need to catch up on early episodes of this podcast? If you do, go to . You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page or on social media . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me. Be sure to and share your review on whichever platform you use to listen.
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EP053: Life Asked Her to Step Up – Part 2
09/15/2016
EP053: Life Asked Her to Step Up – Part 2
I continue my conversation with Carol Egan from last episode, where we discovered how a girl who dropped out of high school to raise her son, made it a priority to get her life and health in order. In this episode, we discuss her entrepreneurship, what happened after she got her college degree and just how far she will go to make her dreams come true. The Root of Disease Carol discovered she had a polysystemic problem, resulting in poor digestion and difficulty releasing excrement from her body. It built up so much fermentation and with it came fungus and an overload of yeast. So much, in fact, that it affected her well-being, thyroid and brain. Carol says allowing shit to build up makes your body acidic. An acidic body is a body in need of balance. To achieve balance the body starts depleting the bones of calcium and the muscles of magnesium. Whatever it Takes Working at a restaurant was squelching Carol’s spirit. The universe told her it was time to focus on her business as a health coach. But getting the business off the ground wasn’t easy. She went through all of her savings, lived with her mother and didn’t have enough money for food. Worrying over her financial situation was diminishing her creativity and passion. Her behavior started to change. Then a friend recommended becoming a driver for Uber. She was hooked after her very first fare. She started driving long hours to make more money. And, because there wasn’t a big enough demand in her area, she started sleeping at a rest stop and showering at her gym so she could be closer to the action. More Than A Detox Carol is not a medical doctor but she did graduate with a master’s degree from Boston College, attended a nutrition program at Cornell University and is a certified health coach. But more importantly, she is committed to helping as many people as possible. She has clients who have gone off of mood altering medications, who have had their Autoimmune Disease go into remission and clients who have reduced their insulin requirements by 80%. Carol’s is accepting new clients. It is an entry level program that offers a lot of benefits. Visit to learn more about her one-on-one coaching, her half-hour free consultations or if you just want someone to talk to. Carol will always provide affordable access to information because she believes in what she does. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page of or on social media . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me. Be sure to and share your review on whichever platform you use to listen.
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EP052: Life Asked Her to Step Up – Part 1
09/08/2016
EP052: Life Asked Her to Step Up – Part 1
Today my conversation is with Carol Egan. Carol and I met online in a mastermind club. When she shared her story with me, I instantly thought of how courageous she was. It reminded me of the quote “Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” by Elizabeth Gilbert from her book, . It All Just Fell Apart When Carol was just about to enter high school, her parents got a divorce. They had hidden any troubles they had from their children, so it came as a shock to Carol and her brothers. Her father then lost his job and crumbled to the point of moving to the YMCA and making it his home for a year. She knew she couldn’t cope with the pressures of the private school she was scheduled to attend so she went to public school. In less than a year, Carol became pregnant. She was sent to an unwed mother’s home in another town, the father denied paternity and Carol, at 18, had to become an instant adult. She Was Broken Just after delivering her baby, Carol watched Children’s Services take her baby away. She didn’t know who to be. She didn’t know how to fit everything that she was, into the situation she was in. All she knew was that her baby would grow up with her. After 3 months in a foster home, Carol got her son back. She got an apartment with money from her waitressing job and her son’s father came back into her life. Shortly after moving in, he started to beat her. When she couldn’t take any more, she got a state-provided mover to help her and her son escape into the night. Waking Up Carol went to school to become a hairdresser and worked to support herself and her son. Her mother gave Carol the family home to live in and everything was well, except for Carol’s health. She was seeing traditional doctors and specialists for her chronic anxiety, her urinary tract infections and her myriad of other health issues. One doctor told her that if she didn’t take the prescribed Xanax 3-times a day she would have panic attacks, which could lead to suicide. This woke her up. Carol knew she had to find someone to help her. She started seeing a natural doctor for her gut problems and she inquired about a college program for non-traditional women who wish to become students. Life has never asked Carol to step up in such a big way, until she became an entrepreneur. You will hear about that part of Carol’s journey on next week’s Straight Talk for a Curvy World Podcast. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page of or on social media . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me.
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EP051: The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality
09/01/2016
EP051: The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality
* This conversation involves sex talk, please be aware of who may be listening in with you. My sister friends Charlie, Leigh and Felicia are back together again for an episode on Pornography. The four of us openly admit to having watched porn and for most of us, it is something best shared with a partner. Jamaica Me Want to Touch It In addition to having every porn channel available on DIRECTV, Felicia and her husband found themselves in Jamaica during Wicked Pictures’ Pornography’s Fan Appreciation Weekend. She shares insights from her conversations and interviews about the super-nice porn stars she met, including their secrets to playing it safe. Plus, she has photos to prove it. Soft Is Better Than Hard The ladies all agree soft porn is better than hard porn. The random pizza delivery guy showing up while the kids are at school or the Mr. Fix-It handyman fantasy scenarios are the best for foreplay. Some of us use porn as a way to spice things up and certain scenes may help with role playing activities. One of us hasn’t seen porn since VHS was a thing. Possible Side Effects There are some couples whose relationships have been negatively impacted by porn. Most of us agree that when porn becomes a replacement for a human or for those who blur the lines between reality and TV, watching porn may be a sexual addiction instead of a method to reach arousal. For people with existing body image issues or feelings of insecurity, watching the beautiful people have sex may take its toll on their self-esteem. Or, there may be instances of younger people who are not ready to consume pornography and their immature mental states are unable to process it as an adult activity. Barbara G. shares her story, of how pornography was a contributing factor in her family's predicament, in the episode. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page of or on social media . Send me a private email at (I am the only one who reads it). If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone -including your name- and share your message with me.
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EP050: Accomplishments and Milestones
08/25/2016
EP050: Accomplishments and Milestones
My book title needs amending. My book coach and some very good, honest friends told me the title I previously had simply didn’t fit. I resisted and held onto the title for a long time, because I was emotionally attached to it. But, I am currently in the process of discovering a new title. HuffPo Recently, I had my first article accepted into Huffington Post. They accepted me as a contributor and when I sent in my first article named, 3 Types of Grief Everyone is Going to Face and How to Overcome Them, they added it to the Common Grief, a healthy living editorial initiative. If you would like to read it, go to the Huffington Post and search “grief”, there you will find the original article. It’s gotten a lot of action on Facebook and Twitter. If you know someone dealing with grief, please share the article with them. It helps me to know I reached people who needed to be reached. One Year Anniversary Believe it or not, Straight Talk for a Curvy World is coming up on the one year anniversary of this podcast! Only through your support and your feedback is this possible. I continue this podcast because our community tells me it’s making a difference. I am putting together a very special episode for the one-year anniversary, which is in just a few weeks. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on social media or send me a private email at . If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone including your name and share your message with me. I would love to play it on the air. Visit to hear all of my previous podcasts, read my blog posts and watch my videos. If you just started listening to this podcast, some great episodes to start with are:
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EP049: Betrayal, Trust and Forgiveness
08/18/2016
EP049: Betrayal, Trust and Forgiveness
My guest today, Penny Isaac Nelson, speaks candidly about an affair she had with an older, married man when she was in her 30’s. Now 52, she has been happily married for 10-years, volunteers for the church ministry and creates a video series, Focus Forward, which assists women in finding a work/life balance. Her advice to everyone is “There is value in being single.” Record the Past as a Present For Your Child Both Penny and I were the caregivers of elderly parents who have since passed on. We both agree that the things we appreciate most in this world are the recordings and journals our parents left for us. Penny still hits replay on a voicemail of her mother, and in a previous podcast I helped fulfill my mother’s dream of having her story published by reading it to my audience. If you have an elderly parent I highly recommend making a video journal of them telling their stories. A 5-Year Tryst Penny met her older lover at work. They were teachers in the same district. Their first date was something they both had in common - passion for riding a motorcycles. It was only after their second date that the man told her he was married, but that the relationship was failing and a divorce was inevitable. Penny knew she had a decision to make. Penny started bringing him to family events, and once she went fishing with one of his 5 children. Everyone in her family loved him, especially Penny’s mother. And, even though their relationship lived in limbo, she had hopes one day of them being married. Trust Issues Penny knows now that she has been forgiven for what she has done as God called her back to serve him. She felt compelled to share her story with her church singles group in which her current husband was part of. She thought it was better that he know than to have it hidden. It was during this confession that Penny realized that even though God had forgiven her, she had never forgiven herself. Penny says that being single is better than being with the wrong person. And, there is value in being single. Send Me Your Questions You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on social media or send me a private email at . Visit to hear all of my previous podcasts, blog posts and videos.
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EP048: Knowledge: Carnal and Conditional
08/11/2016
EP048: Knowledge: Carnal and Conditional
* This podcast is a conversation between adults, please be aware of who may be listening in with you. My friends Charlie, Felicia and Leigh are joining me once again to share intimate details about their sexual preferences and experiences. Today’s honest conversation includes a follow up from last episodes at-home frosting assignment, answering listener questions and finally, we ponder whether or not the bush will actually come back in style. Inquiring Minds Want to Know Claire lives in New York, is newly single, and starting to date again after being married for 22 years. She asks our group what we think about men calling us sluts or whores while we are having sex with them. Group response: We all agree that communication is the key to this working out and most of us don’t mind it if it is in the moment. Leigh, however, would give the mouthy bastard a black eye and promptly leave. Shelly is 43 and lives in Nashville, Tennessee. She requests that we discuss orgasms. Group response: One member of our group was the lucky winner, boasting about her 3 different types of orgasms. She has innies, outies and squirties. You’ll just have to listen to find out who it was. And as far as masturbation goes…we all do it and we like it, very much. Devices that vibrate seem to be the most popular tools, while the “Mr. Spouty” showerhead and the armchair lean-back hand technique are close seconds. What About Down There? When it comes to oral sex most of us can’t get our minds to shut up long enough for us to enjoy receiving it. Common worries include hygiene, lack of control and vulnerability. Intercourse wins over oral any day. The hair or bare question was mostly about personal preference and what spouses liked better. There was mention of a personal shaver which comes with special holiday designs for those looking for that special gift for their significant other. Send Me Your Questions I will soon be putting together a panel of men and I hope to ask them intimate questions similar to the questions we discussed today. I need you, the female members of my audience, to send in the questions you really want to have answered. No subject is off limits. You can share them with me on social media or send me a private email at . Visit to hear all of my previous podcasts, blog posts and videos. Past podcasts you may want to check out are:
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EP047: Love Yourself Through Your Challenges
08/04/2016
EP047: Love Yourself Through Your Challenges
As many of you know, I have been planning my book launch, birthday party, and a spectacular Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live event. I decided that on my 50th birthday, I would celebrate the beginning of the second half of my life by sharing the first part of my life in a series of stories and lessons. In preparation for making my book the best book it could be, I sent my manuscript to a group of beta readers. This was a little bit scary. I had read my book over and over, and because I was so close to it, I needed to get feedback from others so I would know if there was anything missing. In this episode, I share the feedback I received from the beta readers and my carefully reconsidered future plans. I believe with my whole heart that my book should benefit and serve those who trust me enough to read it. I refuse to put out anything that is less than what you deserve. Much like this podcast, my listeners and future readers deserve the best of me. I want to thank all of you for sharing your stories with me and for your love and support. Together we are better. We are here to love each other through our challenges so that we all come out enriched when we reach the next step of our journeys. As Always If your story needs a compassionate and empathetic place for being shared, you can reach out to me on social media or send me a private email to . And, is where I share all of my previous podcasts, blog posts and videos. I hope to meet you there. Past podcasts which focus on self-love are and . I know you will enjoy sharing these with someone who may need to hear them.
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EP046: Raw Feelings Put on A Page Can Heal You
07/28/2016
EP046: Raw Feelings Put on A Page Can Heal You
In 2015, on a street in London, Sheree Angela Matthews was listening to a podcast. The podcast just happened to be my conversation with Shannon Crotty, founder of Polka Dot Powerhouse. Sheree started crying while listening and decided to reach out. I am so pleased she did. Her journey, which she shares with us today, is personal, touching and transformational. Those Who Can’t Do, Teach? Sheree has been writing since she was 6 years old. Her father would give her a notebook and a pencil and tell her to amuse herself. She used to make stories of a little mouse who was always the hero and who always saved the day. During her educational years, there was never any talk of being able to have a career in writing. Students were guided towards more traditional work, like police women or teachers. So, Sheree became a teacher but she was secretly writing the entire time. She now has a Ph.D. in Creative Writing from Newcastle University, two full-length collections of published poetry, she is an expert in Black, British Women’s Poetry, and she is working on her new book. Once she started to take herself seriously as a writer, others did too. A Need to Be Needed Sheree knows she has a deep need to be needed by others. Patterns of finding broken people with hopes of mending them started back when she would try anything to get attention from her father. She says she felt she was forever a disappointment to him and she never felt his love. Socially Challenged Sheree has had a trying time the last couple of years. She experienced something which caused deep wounds in her soul. People she thought were her friends were saying awful things about her. They called her a liar, a cheat and a thief on Facebook. She lost herself in her own guilt, shame and self-hatred. She has since risen up from the abyss and has used her intense feelings to write her book, . It is a gift she shares with her readers and listeners of this podcast to let them know they are not alone. Sheree acknowledges her fear that there will be vultures swirling around her new book, lying in wait for even the tiniest of mistakes, but that’s OK with her. She doesn’t need their approval. I recommend , a great resource for those of you who may be afraid to step out into your triumph. You can also find my conversation with Shannon Crotty here, . Come Forth and Meet Your Sisterhood If you would like to read my story of overcoming fear, guilt and shame, I Am More Than Enough - Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love, you will have to wait until September. I wrote this book to honor the journey I took during the first half of my life and to celebrate entering the second half of my life, because I am no longer hiding. On September 20th and 21st, you are invited to be a part of my book launch, my 50th birthday party and a gathering of world-class speakers for a VIP dinner and all-day life changing events in the lovely Minneapolis, Minnesota USA. To register for this inspirational, first annual live event visit . If you would like to be a part of my book launch team, sign up at . If your story needs a compassionate and empathetic place to share and you cannot make it to , you can reach out to me on social media or send me a private email to . Share This Episode on Twitter “People can only take you seriously as a writer when you have taken yourself seriously as a writer.” “I actively looked for broken men because I had a subconscious need to heal them. It was my personal crusade.” “My mother died suddenly of a stroke so all my plans were thrown into disarray. I started writing for my life.”
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EP045: When We Believe We Don’t Matter, We Start Acting Like We Don’t Matter
07/21/2016
EP045: When We Believe We Don’t Matter, We Start Acting Like We Don’t Matter
As the date of my book launch gets closer, I find myself going through a lot of emotions. I’ve put myself and my stories out there for everyone to see. It makes me appreciate my guests who have come on this podcast and shared their very personal stories with us, even more so. I didn’t think that was possible. But through all of the emotions, I truly believe that this is important. This release, this freedom, this place of life-changing sharing is beneficial for all of us. This podcast includes a glimpse of one of my stories I share in my book, I Am More Than Enough - Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love. Saving Face Almost 33 years ago, I was raped in a small town, by small town boys. The “Mandatory Reporters” I talked to about it offered no help to an 18-year-old whose confidence had just been exterminated. Self-destructive behaviors began to take the place of self-love and joy turned into worthlessness. My parents and the school faculty acted in the manner which they believed was best for the community. Women and men who go through this don’t need to be judged. They are judging themselves enough already. Just listen. Listen to this podcast and share it with someone you know needs to hear it. Come Forth and Meet Your Sisterhood My latest book, I Am More Than Enough - Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love is coming out in September. I wrote this book to honor the journey I took during the first half of my life and to celebrate entering the second half of my life because I am no longer hiding. On September 20th and 21st, you are invited to be a part of my book launch, my 50th birthday party, and a gathering of world-class speakers for a VIP dinner and all-day life changing event in the lovely Minneapolis, Minnesota USA. To register for this inspirational, first annual live event visit . If you would like to be a part of my book launch team sign up at . Find Freedom, Joy, and Love for Yourself Remember, freedom is what we receive when we release the stories, the secrets, and the shame. If you are looking to regain your self-worth and to love who you are, join me at my live event and share your story with me. If your story needs a compassionate and empathetic place to share and you cannot make it to , you can reach out to me on social media or send me a private email to .
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EP044: I Am More Than Enough is an Inspirational, Transformational Self-Help Book
07/14/2016
EP044: I Am More Than Enough is an Inspirational, Transformational Self-Help Book
Today, I graciously hand the controls and my microphone over to my dear friend Nicole Fende. Nicole has promised to be gentle with me and since she has started her own podcast I decided to sit underneath her verbal microscope and field some questions about my new book and live event. A Book Baby It was exactly 3:22 in the p.m. on the 4th of July, 2016 that Ann hand delivered the very last word on the very last page of her new book, I Am More Than Enough. It was very emotional for her. It took her exactly 9-months to write it from start to finish but the stories she shares took a lifetime to create. Ann describes the book as, not a memoir but an inspirational, transformational self-help book. Ann is exceptionally gifted in: Helping people to feel comfortable enough to tell their own stories She gives people permission to have their own similar feelings She gifts others with the tools to move forward. Specifically, the I AM habits. So naturally, each of her chapters is followed up by a reflection on what lessons she learned from each incident. Her goal is to have women see themselves in the pages and see themselves walking through the darkness into the light. The concepts of loss of identity, loss of self-worth and lack of self-love are all tackled. She wants women to know they are not the only ones going through these things and they are not crazy either. Resisting Joy Ann hired a coach to outline the arc of the book and to define the goal but each word of the book is from her own hand and contains her own blood, sweat and tears. She says she picked the easiest stories to write first and saved the most difficult ones for later. But when later came Ann found herself spending hours cleaning out the garage, going through old purses and weeding the lawn well after most people go to bed. She was actively resisting writing the stories that were hard for her to tell. She may have unconsciously been delaying the fact that once she was finished writing her book, she would have to share it with the world. Now that the book is finished and it has been shared with those she loves, Ann can pass her stories on to others so they can feel free, know they are not their past and that they are allowed to finally give themselves the compassion they deserve. *Nicole, thank you so much for the interview! The Prosperity Dimension Nicole Fende’s new podcast, , is launching on July 19th. Nicole, by way of her character Captain Brenna Rain, started her podcast so that small business owners can connect with other small business owners through interviews and expert advice. Her website, , sits at the intersection of business and science fiction. Get a free chapter of her multi-faceted book just by visiting her site. Nicole’s work was highlighted on an earlier episode of this podcast, . I Am More Than Enough Book Launch and Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live – An Affair With Joy Event If you want to know more about my book, I Am More Than Enough – Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love which is coming out on September 20th, you are invited to my book launch, my 50th birthday party and my VIP dinner. The entire next day, on September 21st, there will be a gathering of world-class speakers’ dinner and all-day live event in the lovely Minneapolis, Minnesota USA. To register for this inspirational, first annual live event visit . If you attend both the VIP birthday party dinner and the all-day event, use the promo code FREEDOM when you sign up to receive a $30 savings. And, the first 20 people who sign up will receive wonderful surprises and a free copy of my book, I Am More Than Enough – Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love. If you would like to be a part of my book launch team sign up at . The Freedom to Share Remember, freedom is what we receive when we release the stories, the secrets and the shame. Freedom is on the other side of secrets. If you are looking to live a life of self-worth and to love who you are, join me at the live event. If you enjoy the Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast please share it with your friends or if you have a story you would like to share with our sisterhood reach out to me on social media or send me a private email to .
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EP043: Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live: An Affair with Joy - My Vision of a Sisterhood Realized
07/07/2016
EP043: Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live: An Affair with Joy - My Vision of a Sisterhood Realized
This is a place for women to share their secrets, share their stories, and share their shame completely free of judgment. In this safe place, you will be embraced only with love, acceptance, and validation. A Sisterhood of Sharing Remembering my Grandmother, Elsie, on the day of her birth reminds me of the stories she would tell me of her own Sisterhood of Sharing. She and a group of supportive friends would meet in church basements, dining rooms or wherever they could find a moment together to talk about their lives. They would share stories of their children, new babies, love, money troubles, men and even share a good cry when they needed some freedom and release. Having a sisterhood does make a difference. My Vision My vision was to create a place of support for women who needed it. A sisterhood which is supported and encouraged by the men in our lives. A sisterhood where we would be heard and validated, where we would be loved and no longer silent. A place where women would feel safe to share their stories and secrets, free of judgment. A place where each of us knows we are more than enough. My vision is realized in this podcast and in the upcoming event. I Am More Than Enough and You Are Too My latest book, I Am More Than Enough - Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love is coming out in September. I wrote this book to honor the journey I took during the first half of my life and to celebrate entering the second half of my life, because I am no longer hiding. On September 20th and 21st, you are invited to be a part of my book launch, my 50th birthday party, and gathering of world-class speakers for a VIP dinner and all-day live event in the lovely Minneapolis, Minnesota USA. To register for this inspirational, first annual live event visit . If you attend both the VIP birthday party dinner and the all-day event, use the promo code FREEDOM when you sign up to get a $30 savings. And, the first 20 people who sign up will receive wonderful surprises and a free copy of my book, I Am More Than Enough - Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love. If you would like to be a part of my book launch team sign up at . Freedom to Share Remember, freedom is what we receive when we release the stories, the secrets, and the shame. Freedom is on the other side of secrets. If you are looking to live a life of self-worth and to love who you are, join me at the live event. If you enjoy the Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast, please share it with your friends. They may enjoy one of these past episodes: with Monica Tarr talking about hormones, aging and sex. with Dr. Theo Tsaousides discussing self-love and self-respect. with Girlfriends exploring blow jobs. If you have a story you would like to share with this sisterhood, reach out to me on social media or send me a private email to .
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EP042: You Really Can’t Do It Wrong But You Can Make It Better
06/30/2016
EP042: You Really Can’t Do It Wrong But You Can Make It Better
*This is an adult conversation so please be aware of who may be listening in with you. Recording this episode was so much fun. My guests are three of my closest friends, Felicia, Charlie, and Leigh. We sat down in my living room, the day after the summer solstice, to discuss blowjobs while enjoying a bottle (or 2) of wine. Everyone agreed to be open, frank and honest with the hopes that those of you who may not have a friend to discuss this topic with can feel like you are sitting at the far end of the couch with us. Where, When and How? Several important revelations came from this portion of our conversation. We discovered that a Native American palate is better equipped than a Caucasian palate for natural blowjob selection, that rakers need to watch more porn, older women have the highest STD rates and that you’re not supposed to blow. It is also apparent that when you are younger intercourse almost always follows. Does Semen Really Come in Pineapple Flavor? This group of ladies was split when it came to swallowing. However, we wholeheartedly decided that a “free shot of protein” is just a ploy to get him on your tongue. Things to take into consideration are a possible gag reflex, the amount of food in your stomach and how quickly you want to get to sleep afterward. Several tools of the trade were mentioned which may enhance her pleasure, they include: Altoids Mint Jelly Peanut Butter Whip Cream And the new Straight Talk for a Curvy World Whipped White Can Frosting You Can Squirt Listener Questions J asks - Q. Is it about duty or pleasure? A. The longer you are together it becomes dutiful. However, BJ’s can be used as maintenance sex when somebody has the sleepies. Curious asks - Q. What if he doesn’t come? Have I satisfied him? And, how do I know if I am doing it wrong? A. There is no way you can do it wrong. Depending on the man’s age they are probably more worried about performing than you need to be. Anonymous asks - Q. If a woman enjoys giving a blowjob and is good at it, do men think she is slutty? A. Who cares what that kind of man thinks? If he treats you poorly get rid of him. You should always, 100% enjoy whatever it is you are doing. Dirty Talk Communication really IS all it’s cracked up to be, inside the bedroom and out. I surveyed the ladies to see: Would You Feel Comfortable Saying These Things to Your Sex Partner? Your cock feels so hot on my cunt. - Ladies say NO. Please give me more of your fat rod. - Ladies say NO. Put me on my knees and bang me ‘til I cum all over your dick. - Ladies say NO. I want you to put your dick right here between my tits. - Ladies say YES. You Are Not the Only One and You Are Not Crazy Either I am planning more of this type of episode so I really want to know how this one worked out for you. Share this podcast by tweeting your thoughts to me at , leaving me a Facebook message in the private Facebook group or by leaving a review on iTunes. I’m always here. If you are shy or have a specific subject you would love to hear discussed on this podcast email me at . This email is confidential so you can feel secure in knowing that your information is safe with me. The more we share the better our community will be. Reminder - We are planning a big event for September! The new . We will be working on self-love and loving our business from the inside out. There will be a private VIP dinner to celebrate my 50th birthday and the release of my new book. Everybody who attends will go home with a copy. Special early bird pricing is available, so sign up now!
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EP041: When the Unimaginable Happens
06/23/2016
EP041: When the Unimaginable Happens
*This is an adult conversation so please be aware of who may be listening with you. My guest Barbara, who will soon be turning 50, is a mother with five kids at home and is currently going through her second divorce. She and her ex-husband have just finished the paperwork after going through the mediation process. She says that anyone who wants to create continuity for the children during this emotional undertaking should consider mediation as a way to save money, time and tears. This powerful conversation with Barbara addresses a subject which is very rarely discussed. That is when sexual relations occur between children in the same family. Barbara exhibits great courage in sharing her story with us today and says that if just one person is helped or one misconception is clarified, then it is worth it for her to share. “In the darkest moments, in the darkest of days, when it seems there is no hope when everything is going against you, HOLD ON. The light will come, the light will come, don’t give up. And when it comes it brings peace, love and compassion.” - Barbara G. Putting Yourself First Barbara realized that through much of her life she had the martyr mentality. She always put spending time with her kids and husband in front of doing things she wanted to do. She realized if she wanted to be the best mother and wife she could possibly be, she needed to take some time for herself. She started by taking 15 minutes to read a book she wanted to read and then little by little she took more time to practice self-care. When the Darkness Came While Barbara was pregnant with her sixth child, she and her husband were given the news that the baby had the rare, genetic disorder of Trisomy 13. Her child, who was born 9 weeks early, died after only 2 weeks of life. This trauma affected the entire family, and much more than Barbara realized at the time. Shortly after moving to Minnesota and in a fit of tears, Barbara’s 10-year-old daughter told her mother she was having sex with her 13-year-old brother. Barbara was devastated and her whole world went black. She felt like she fell down a black hole into hell. She immediately told her husband. She says it was a miracle that her son was away at camp because she truly believes her husband may have killed him. Family Services advised that they seek out a counselor and the counselor recommended a trip to the police station. The police wanted to charge the 13-year-old with felony abuse, which would have marked him as a sexual predator for the rest of his life. The Poison of Pornography In addition to the family trauma surrounding the death of the baby, pornography was introduced into the household by neighborhood kids. Barbara believes pornography is the objectification of the human body, which causes a distortion of normal behavior and normal exploration. Her research led her to the understanding that chemical stabilization in the brains of children doesn’t set into its normal state until age 25. She adds that when children view pornography they are stimulated in ways their developing brains shouldn’t be exposed to. She says her son will struggle with not falling back into predatory behaviors for the rest of his life. A State of Adjudication Her son was not convicted of felony abuse because he was in the range of being rehabilitatable. The judge considered the psychological evaluations, the family’s input, and the intense counseling when he decided to not give Barbara’s son with permanent label. Three different psychologists told the courts that even if the same events happened again it would not trigger him. The recent divorce is cause for concern as it may bring up emotional challenges for both Barbara’s daughter and son. Barbara monitors her son’s behavior for possible red flags and triggers and says “We have more fear of him turning to self-abuse rather than becoming a sexual predator. He is not a predator, he was a little boy looking for comfort after a traumatic situation.” Barbara’s Healthy Living Business Barbara is a dealer of the products, a 70-year-old company which offers free dinner presentations for those interested in preparing more nutritious and flavorful food for their families. She can be found online at and she recently opened her own store in her community of Maple Grove, Minnesota. She believes that how people prepare their food is just as important as what they are cooking. The cookware you use can enhance the flavor and nutrition of your food or destroy and detract from it. 99% of the world cooks in cookware that is old and inferior. You are Not the Only One and You Are Not Crazy Either If you found value in this podcast please share it with one other person. You never know who may need to hear it. If you need someone to talk safely and privately with email me at . This email is confidential so you can feel secure in knowing that your truth is safe with me. The more support we all have and can give, the better our community will be. If you just want to connect socially you can join the private Facebook group or on social media . Reminder - We are planning a big event for September! The new . We will be working on self-love and loving our business from the inside out. There will be a private VIP dinner to celebrate my 50th birthday and the release of my new book. Everybody who attends will go home with a copy. Special early bird pricing is available, so sign up now!
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EP040: Learning How to FLY (First Love Yourself)
06/16/2016
EP040: Learning How to FLY (First Love Yourself)
*This is an adult conversation so please be aware of who may be listening with you. A Special Passage for Lisa “I am worthy. You were born worthy. You don’t have to do anything to make yourself worthy. You are a superhero born into this world and being you is all you need to do. Express yourself and don’t believe the hype that says you need to be anything more than your amazing self. I used to believe I wasn’t deserving of great things but when I began declaring my worth my life changed for the better.” - from the soon to be best-seller I AM...: A Girl’s Guide to Harnessing SuperPowers The “I AM” Initiative Even though we live in the same area, the universe wanted and I to meet in Florida. We both have made it our mission to propagate the “I AM” habits. As a listener of my podcast, you are aware of how I broadcast the message. Lisa chooses to spread the message by empowering 3rd to 8th grade girls with superpowers and the 3 rules of self-defense. She teaches them that the right action is the action you take when you love yourself, you trust who you are, and you trust what you feel. Lisa often encounters young girls who are bombarded with “this is who you are” and “this is who you need to be” directives. In her workshops and retreats, girls discover they can freely say “No. I know who I am.” Lisa’s Journey The common thread that is woven through Lisa’s past life is one of feeling unworthy. She succumbed to playing the part of the victim until a final “push” made her reconsider her part in her own life. She says “Your path and your journey begin with what you believe about yourself and that moves into creating your experiences. I truly do believe anything is possible. If you set yourself on the course you want to be on you will get there with the consistent behaviors of self-love, self-care, self-responsibility, and self-compassion. When you bring these things into your life anything is possible.” Lisa loves sharing these experiences because it gives her bright light a chance to shine. “The truth is, in order to heal, we all need to tell our stories and have them witnessed.” from The Dance of the Dissident Daughter - Sue Monk Kidd Lisa knew she needed to pay forward the kindness she received from the two owners of the kickboxing studio she went to every day after she started living her life with love, forgiveness and gratitude. She made the decision to share, with young girls, the encouragement she so desperately needed when she was young and couldn’t calculate her own value. So, Lisa is Perfect Now, Right? Even though she adds practices to her life in order to reach a state of mindfulness, Lisa admits she has much farther to go. It’s not like you make one decision and everything is instantly easy. A tendency towards self-sabotage is a fierce dragon which is hard to slay. The ego lives and so do collective expectations of success. Lisa says that when a self-defeating thought takes over, she thinks about things that she loves, things that need to be forgiven and things she is grateful for, so it becomes easier to cope with the trap of “I’ll love myself when”. The Shadow Dance There is light and dark in all of us. The dark will come and there is no avoiding it. Accepting yourself exactly as you are allows you to release the craving for what you desire. It is the craving of making something last which creates suffering. If you release your desire before the thing you want arrives, you are given the joy of having. No one thing is easy or hard for people to release. It’s based on the individual and for Lisa, it’s her business. She says “it’s a crunchy I can’t get rid of.” Her advice to those of us stuck in our cravings, whether it is to be in a relationship or to find forgiveness for those who may have hurt us is to take a deep breath and then go out and do something today that is going to feel good. It will bring completeness, wholeness, and happiness. Learn How to Get SuperPowers of Your Own To stay in touch with Lisa and get weekly updates about her new book, her “I AM” initiative and her confidence coaching, enlist at . Her new book and accompanying cards will be available very, very soon. You are Not the Only One and You Are Not Crazy Either If you found value in this podcast please share it. If you need someone to talk safely and privately with, email me at . This email is confidential so you can feel secure in knowing that your truth is safe with me. The more support we all have and can give, the better our community will be. If you just want to connect socially you can join the private Facebook group or on social media . Reminder - We are planning a big event for September! The new . We will be working on self-love and loving our business from the inside out. There will be a private VIP dinner to celebrate my 50th birthday and the release of my new book. Everybody who attends will go home with a copy. Special early bird pricing is available, so sign up now!
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