Breaking Bread Podcast
Around the meal table, needs are met. As participants we celebrate the common solution to our physical need - bread. While we do so, bread of another type is broken as well. Help, hope and encouragement are shared to meet the needs of our struggles, heartaches and questions. Breaking Bread is reminiscent of these life giving conversations. This podcast strives to meet some of our common needs through our common solution – The Bread of Life.
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Discipleship in the Middle Years
03/16/2026
Discipleship in the Middle Years
Show notes: Growing into Christlikeness is not a linear process. Yet the historic Christian church has identified three movements that we revisit with increasing depth. Purification: This refers to growing in increasing moral excellence. Illumination: This refers to growing in increasing understanding of truth. Communion: This refers to growing in increasing fellowship with God. These provide a helpful “map” for understanding the invitation before us to grow in Christ-likeness. In the middle ages of our life, we can expect God to use the stage we are in to perform these movements of growth. Career, family, responsibilities, duties and life circumstances are not a deterrent for spiritual growth but instead serve as the context for which our spiritual growth happens.
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Praying Like the Disciples
03/02/2026
Praying Like the Disciples
Christ knew what he was doing when he gave his disciples what we have come to call “The Lord’s Prayer.” It is beautiful to the ear. Rhythmic to the tongue. Simple to remember and loaded with power. In this episode, Joe Leman highlights this beauty and power and helps us see the hope of human transformation that is instore for any who would take up the prayer and pray it.
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How to Have Stress-Reducing Conversations
02/16/2026
How to Have Stress-Reducing Conversations
Stress is a very real part of our lives. How we manage stress can have healthy or unhealthy consequences. Fortunately, one tool we should be using to soothe stress in one another is stress-reducing conversations. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer, Craig Stickling, and Brian Sutter explain how to have these purposeful conversations. Show notes: What is stress-related conversation? A conversation that has at its purpose the intention of soothing the emotions in a stress heightened individual and thereby reducing their stress levels. What qualities are present in stress-reducing conversation? Active listening, attending presence, non-judgement, non-criticizing, empathetic agreement. What should your posture be for being a stress-reducing partner in a conversation? Have an eye towards being on the same team with the other. What are some different applied contexts for stress-reducing conversations? Marriage: Look for them with your spouse if you are married. Family: Look for them with your kids if you are a parent. Neighbors: Look for them with community members. What good are stress-reducing conversations beyond reducing stress? Stress-reducing conversations build the safety to eventually step into conversations with other purposes such as conflict resolution or corrective conversations. How do I carry out stress-reducing conversations when I disagree with the person that has heightened stress? Separate the matter of disagreement from the person. Connect with the person first. Then when safety is achieved and we are on a team together, voicing disagreement can happen in effective ways. What makes stress-reducing conversations difficult? Fixating on accuracy. Fixating on solutions. Inability to detect emotions. Inability to stay present with a person. What does it mean to be intentional with stress-reducing conversations? Have conversations with the express purpose to be stress relieving. Select topics thoughtfully that you can be “on the same team” about. What is at stake if loved ones don’t engage each other in stress-reducing conversations? We might look for stress-reducing conversations from unsafe sources such as AI or other people.
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Accepting Relational Influence
02/02/2026
Accepting Relational Influence
Healthy relationships require that we are open to being influenced. After all, what is a relationship if it doesn’t include give and take. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer explains what both research and experience has taught him about the importance of accepting influence in relationships. Show notes: What does accepting relational influence mean? Allowing those we are in relationship with to shape and impact our thinking, feeling and behaving. What does not accepting relational influence look like? Relationship rigidity resulting in dismissing or being un-moved by the input, wisdom, experience and interaction of another individual. What does the research say? Husbands who accept influence from their wives tend to have happier and more satisfying relationships. The more influence a spouse is willing to accept, the more influential they can be. What makes accepting relational influence difficult? Being defensive or the tendency to recoil from perceived challenges. Black and white thinking or the tendency to see matters in either/or categories. Avoidant or the tendency to avoid relationship disagreement and friction. Misunderstood roles in relationship or the tendency to enter a relationship with a role modeled or taught to you that does not permit influence. Lack of relationship safety. What happens if we don’t accept influence? The relationship tends towards disconnection. Does accepting influence mean finding agreement? Yes and no. Yes – you both agree that the other is worth understanding well enough to know when and how to yield to them. No – agreement is not the objective. In fact, disagreement is common and still should include influence. What does healthy influence look like amid disagreement? When a person says “no” in a relationship, they should simultaneously say “yes” to the friend or spouse they are in relationship with. By this we mean, those we are in relationship should always feel they have been understood and valued enough to have influenced us regardless of the decision at hand.
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3 Habits for Our Kids
01/19/2026
3 Habits for Our Kids
Parenting has its eye towards producing future adults. One powerful adult forming tool is instilling good habits in our kids. A well parented habit can pay dividends in the long run by building the muscle memory to do what otherwise would not be natural. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter examples this by suggesting three habits that will produce very welcome attributes in our children as adults. Show notes: Healthy habits can help grow and mature our children. And yet, to do this, the habit needs to grow and mature with the child. Three examples are given. Example 1: Goal: To produce thankful adults. Habit – Say, “Thank you.” Growing habit – Say, “Thank you for _________.” Maturing habit – Say, “Thank you for _________ that is a gift to me.” Example 2: Goal: To produce a humble adults. Habit – Say, “I’m sorry.” Growing habit – Say, “I’m sorry I ________.” Maturing habit – Say, “I __________, how did that make you feel? I’m sorry.” Example 3: Goal: To produce adults who are good listeners. Habit – Say, “Tell me what you think.” Growing habit – Say, “Tell me what you think, I have a lot to learn.” Maturing habit – Say, “Tell me what you think, I have a lot to learn and value your insights.”
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One Tip for Human Growth
01/05/2026
One Tip for Human Growth
We all have room for growth. Yet sometimes our progress gets stalled, and we get discouraged. This discouragement might be because we are measuring the wrong thing. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. helps correct this mistake and teaches us to measure from the bottom-up. Show notes: Measuring human growth can be tricky. We often evaluate our progress by measuring from one of three perspectives: From top-down: This happens when we measure the gap between who we are and who we want to ideally be. For lofty goals, this measurement often leaves us discouraged. The gap becomes a continual reminder we are “way off the mark” and we live in failure. Side-to-side: This happens when we measure ourselves by comparing ourselves with others. This can have a mixture of reactions. On the one hand, we might have an inflated view of our progress and become lax in our growth. Or on the other hand, we can feel deflated and have an inferior view of our progress and become discouraged. From bottom-up: This happens when we measure progress by remembering where we started and being thankful for how far God has helped us. This measurement approach tends to promote a healthier view of growth. With this approach, we are encouraged to take the next step. Measuring from the bottom up is made possible when we have an accurate view of God. Sometimes we have the idea that God is far, with arms crossed, waiting for us to achieve his standards. Rather, God is with us wherever we are and prompting us to take the next step. He calls us to a life of discipleship whereby he is present in all our learning and growing.
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Aging with Intention
12/22/2025
Aging with Intention
To be human is to age. To age well is to transition. To transition well is to adapt. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ron Messner and Lori Wiegand encourage us to be intentional in the aging process. In so doing, we find abundance of life where scarcity may have been assumed. Show notes: Finding abundance instead of scarcity in the last third of life is a function of intentionality, acceptance, and adaptation. Intentionality: Making healthy choices. Having needed conversations. Making future plans. Acceptance: Making peace with new realities. Letting go of old norms. Letting go of old possibilities. Adaptation: Finding a new identity. Welcoming new norms. Finding new possibilities.
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Thy Kingdom Come
12/08/2025
Thy Kingdom Come
Advent is a season of longing and hope for Christmas - a time when anticipation fills the air. But what does this waiting reveal about the kind of people Christ is shaping us to be? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Joe Leman and Matt Kaufmann explore how the Lord’s prayer stirs a deep desire for Christ’s kingdom and transforms our hearts to long for him in and outside of the Christmas season. Show notes: What is Advent? Advent is the season when the Christian church prepares for the celebration of Christ’s coming – Christmas. What advantage does advent offer the believer? Every year, the Christian is given an opportunity to wait for, long for and celebrate Christ’s coming. This practice can shape in the believer a desire for Christ’s coming kingdom. What is the Lord’s prayer? Christ gave his disciples the Lord’s Prayer (Luke 11) when they asked how they should pray. This prayer has a deep and rich history in the Church both past and present. What advantage does the Lord’s prayer offer the believer? The Lord’s prayer offers the believer a template for praying and thinking. It can be divided into two sections each having three subparts. Our Father which art in heaven... Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Our Father which art in heaven... Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. How does the Lord’s prayer enliven advent? The Lord’s prayer prepares in us a heart that wants God’s kingdom to come and will to be done. How does advent enliven our faith? Advent teaches us that waiting, longing and celebrating Christ’s present and coming kingdom is tangible, practical and meaningful.
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The Power of Thanksgiving
11/24/2025
The Power of Thanksgiving
The Thanksgiving holiday affords us the opportunity to engage in one of the healthiest human behaviors – the giving of thanks. Research suggests that thankful people are in some ways mentally, emotionally, and relationally healthier than their unthankful counterparts. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Matt Kaufmann look beneath the hood of thanksgiving to discover the deeper matters that not only make thanksgiving possible but likely. Show notes: Giving thanks is an action. Thanksgiving is the outward fruit of deeper gratitude. By it, our gratefulness finds its expression. Furthermore, our expression finds its mark in gratitude toward God or another person. Gratitude is a quality of our character. Its opposite is entitlement. Where entitlement believes all things are owed, gratitude sees all things as a gift. It is the fruit of humility. A posture we have with the world where we see ourselves as the beneficiary of all good things.
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Tech & Kids: Understanding AI
11/10/2025
Tech & Kids: Understanding AI
It has always been hard to stay on top of technology. It seems artificial intelligence (AI) has just raised the ante. In this Breaking Bread podcast episode, David Virkler helps demystify AI. In so doing, some down-to-earth advice is given on how to parent our kids in this world of AI. Show Notes: A few things to understand about AI. Artificial Intelligence is an expansive field with many applications. It includes everything from machine learning to neural network AI engines and large language models like ChatGPT. Large language models respond to inquiries by generating text by using probability models for selecting the next most probable word. In so doing, sentences are created and intelligence is mimicked. AI platforms are trained on a body of data made available to them. Some use the data we input into it when we use it. Others do not. The source of data from which AI draws its information depends on the platform being used. Some AI platforms pull from all available data on the internet. Others pull from a closed data set according to the specs of the developer. AI is only physical. It is made up of circuits, elements and processors with the capability to find and sort data. AI is powered and thereby limited by the earth’s resources. A few things to be cautious about. AI has no metric for truth when generating content. Rather, it uses probability to guess what the user wants. Be aware, when by your use, you are contributing to the data pool AI will learn and draw its information from. When using AI understand your level of personal privacy or lack thereof. To determine the trustworthiness of the AI tool, understand where the tool is sourcing its data. Is it sorting through all the data on the internet or is it sorting through a smaller, more reliable data set? AI can mimic human qualities such as emotion. AI companions can be influential and misleading. AI will have an influence on our personal formation. Our habits, creativity, critical thinking skills, and more will likely be affected. A few questions to get us talking. What makes AI less than human? AI runs on circuits and processors. It is physical and non-living. It has no soul as the human made in God’s image has. What is the difference between knowledge and wisdom? AI has made knowledge ready and easy. How to apply that knowledge lies with the user. Is speed and ease always better than time and struggle? AI completes tasks quickly with very little effort on the part of the user. While this efficiency is appealing, healthy human formation seldom comes quickly and easily. Rather, God uses time and friction to develop our minds, hearts, souls and bodies. Who do we want speaking into our life? AI can mimic human companionship. However, human connection has been God’s design for the community that best cares for the human being. Has AI made God old fashioned? AI will provide many answers for us. It will push society forward. With it will come questions. As has been the pattern in the past, Christ and the Scriptures will be relevant in new and important ways. A few things to be enthused about. AI is really good at writing and summarizing. If used well, it can be a very helpful tool as a note taker in a meeting. AI is really good at analyzing patterns in large data sets. When used well, it can provide tremendous insights quickly make connections and offering helpful suggestions based on data. AI will be a strong educational tool. It has the capacity to tailor education modes and means to the uniqueness of the learner. AI is becoming very good at language. Real time translation is a powerful asset for those trying to communicate across language barriers.
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Hidden Rules of a Great Conversation
10/27/2025
Hidden Rules of a Great Conversation
It’s not uncommon for communication between two individuals in a relationship to go sideways. And when the pattern is sideways for many years, it becomes even more challenging to set right the cart. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer and Brian Sutter explain how to do just that. Show notes: The speaker/listener model is a structured approach for communication that enhances understanding between two individuals or parties. When do you use it? When communication is not working and understanding is not being reached. How does it work? Roles are determined. One party is the speaker, and the other is the listener. The speaker succinctly expresses a message. The listener responds by telling the speaker what they said. The speaker determines if the listener understands. If yes, the speaker continues. If no, the speaker tries the message again. Appropriately, reverse roles. What does it do? It slows down the conversation. It promotes understanding between the parties. It helps clarify what should be communicated. It gives a chance for communicative trust to grow. It gives the space for individuals to regulate their emotions during the conversation. What are the prerequisites for success? Participants need to be able to take on another person’s perspective. Participants need to be able to regulate their emotions. Participants need to be able to play by the conversation rules.
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Celebrating 10 Years of Breaking Bread
10/13/2025
Celebrating 10 Years of Breaking Bread
Join us in the studio as we celebrate 10 years of Breaking Bread! In this celebratory episode, Arlan Miller, Katie Miller and Brian Sutter turn the tables and interview Breaking Bread host Matt Kaufmann. They go behind the scenes of the show, telling stories and reminiscing. Most importantly, they pay tribute to the devoted listenership of Breaking Bread.
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Celebrating 10 Years of Breaking Bread
10/13/2025
Celebrating 10 Years of Breaking Bread
Join us in the studio as we celebrate 10 years of Breaking Bread! In this celebratory episode, Arlan Miller, Katie Miller and Brian Sutter turn the tables and interview Breaking Bread host Matt Kaufmann. They go behind the scenes of the show, telling stories and reminiscing. Most importantly, they pay tribute to the devoted listenership of Breaking Bread.
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Beyond Symptom Reduction
09/29/2025
Beyond Symptom Reduction
Nothing motivates treatment quite like pain. We want it to stop. Too often, when the pain has past, we are not motivated to continue the important work of personal growth that lies beneath the pain. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr explains the hope that lies beyond symptom reduction. Show notes: Symptom reduction is only half of the journey to health. There are four questions that point to the important second half of the journey...a journey worth finishing. Is my predominant outlook on life joy? Are my relationships healthy and satisfying? Is my relationship with God unhindered and growing? Do I know what my spiritual gifts and talents are and am I actively engaged in using them? Answers to these questions lead us to important spiritual, relational, psychological and physical growth.
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The Life Curve
09/15/2025
The Life Curve
We enter life with no ability to control. As we grow, we acquire more and more faculty to control. If our life takes its natural course and we age into the sunset years of life, we gradually lose our ability to control. Finally, we will leave this life having the same capacity to control as when we entered, little to none. Join us as Matt Kaufmann discusses this life curve with his father, Denny Kaufmann. Control, the ability to rule, make choices, make determination in our surroundings and direct people, transitions over the span of life. The transition is a function of release. Ease of release is a function of confidence in the predecessor and ability to live with God into the future. Release to the predecessor is helped with a view that God is in control and uses people separate from us. The ability to live with God into the future is helped by learning to find satisfaction in his presence apart from the satisfaction that the power of control affords. Living healthily will require that we know where we are on the life curve and live accordingly.
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Navigating Marriage Through Busy Seasons
09/01/2025
Navigating Marriage Through Busy Seasons
In seasons of busyness, it can be easy for marriages to drift towards disconnection. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer encourages simple ways to maintain connection as well as a framework for thinking about marriage amid the busy. Show notes: Demands on our time and attention can ebb and flow over the calendar year. When marriage is involved, these seasons of busyness impact the marriage. If we are not vigilant, disconnection can result. Communication becomes challenging. Irritations can set in, and spouses can drift apart. Couples who wish to weather these seasons well need to be thoughtful about how they remain connected. A few examples follow: Connect with your spouse by having regular “check in’s.” Take time to update your spouse and be updated on the life of the other. Connect with the life your spouse is living. Try to understand the demands he/she is under. Have a goal to visualize their day-to-day. Connect with your shared roles by growing your appreciation for the career of each. Understand the uniqueness of the profession and what it means to your family. Connect by establishing shared rituals through the season. Celebrate the season by infrequent significant moments of connection that bind marriage and family amid the season. Connect by establishing frequent small moments of connection during the season. Connect with the larger shape of marriage. A life for which a season is that - a season. Connect with the larger intention God has for challenges in marriage. The intention to grow you up into Christ-likeness.
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Mental Health and the Church: The AC Story
08/18/2025
Mental Health and the Church: The AC Story
ACCFS is a mental health service that supports the Apostolic Christian Church. This unique connection between church and mental health agency has a storied history. To tell it, Ron Messner and Ted Witzig Jr are interviewed by Matt Kaufmann on this episode of Breaking Bread. Show notes: Caring for people spiritually has given way to the need to care for them mentally. This led to the following statement of belief and consequently, the carrying out of counseling services at ACCFS. Based on scripture and extensive experience, we are complex beings with three overlapping and integrated parts to our being: physical, spiritual and mental. These cannot be separated, but each part can be affected by separate factors including biological, spiritual, psychological, or social influences. Each needs to be assessed, and any dysfunction needs to be treated or addressed based on the cause or causes of the dysfunction. This may include repentance, prayer, spiritual counseling and teaching, medication, other health interventions, and/or psycho-social counseling.
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The Crisis of Connection
08/04/2025
The Crisis of Connection
In an era that boasts the most human connectiveness in the history of the world, we struggle with isolation and depression in epidemic proportions. Evidently not all human connections are equal. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Katie Miller and Isaac Funk take on this crisis for connection directly. Not only do they identify the problem but also provide a vision for hope. Show notes: What do we mean by human connection? Human connection at a minimum is intersecting with another human being in physical or thought space. Human connection at a maximum is deeply knowing and being known by another. What is at stake with poor human connection? Isolation, depression and insecurity are some of the fees we pay for poor human connection. Often poor connection with people translates to a poor connection with God. What are the elements of healthy human connection? Healthy human connection requires time and space with people. It requires giving of oneself. The setting requires dynamic communication back and forth in real time. What are the elements that we are competing against for healthy human connection? Technology often promotes a shallow connectivity rather than deep community. It is engineered for the transfer of data rather than facilitating robust human fellowship. It is primarily designed for ease, speed and enjoyment, all three of which are not realistic expectations for deep human connection. Our western culture of individualism promotes self-reliance, putting people head-to-head in competition rather than shoulder-to-shoulder in shared need. The economics of money and promotion tend to assert themselves in our decision making over and above community and the need for human connection. What vision of hope does healthy human connection have? As humans created in God’s image, we are designed for embodied human relationships. Relationships that linger in time and space, suffering long with others. Overcoming isolation and shame with reception. Connection with others plays on the basic elements of life: living together, eating together, sharing needs, living together with a family or living together as a church family. When we live well together with people, we are at an advantage to live well together with God.
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Escaping the Drama Trap
07/21/2025
Escaping the Drama Trap
Drama sells in the box office, newsstands, social media feeds and more. It draws an audience because it is interesting. Yet, because drama often plays on relational conflict, it is painful. Because we are relational beings, we unfortunately find ourselves too often on drama’s stage. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling peels back the layers of drama and helps us escape its trap. Show Notes: Drama defined: Interesting relational or situational conflict. What is drama’s ill effect? It can provoke us to poor behavior. It can divide relationships. What elements does drama play on? Drama draws an audience. Drama grasps for sides to be drawn. Drama is fueled by unregulated emotion. Drama tempts us to be disingenuous about the truth. How do I know if I induce drama? I like the exhilaration of conflict. I like attention. I am easily offended and sensitive. I don’t regulate my emotion. How can I calm the drama? Don’t gossip. Regulate your emotion. Resist impulsivity for patient, measured responses. Seek the whole truth. Keep healthy boundaries.
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Elroi: The God Who Sees Me
07/07/2025
Elroi: The God Who Sees Me
She was useful until she was not. She was a victim of abuse and mistreatment. She was an abandoned outsider of God’s covenant people. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer and Matt Kaufmann linger on Hagar’s story. At her most desperate moment, God loves her really well. So struck by the encounter, Hagar names God Elroi, the God who sees me. Show notes: In her desperation, God finds Hagar abandoned to the wilderness. He calls her by name - “Hagar.” Even though her name meant “stranger”, his use of it meant she was not a stranger to him. In fact, she was known, not by association, but on her own terms. He asks her questions - “Where did you come from and where are you going?” Even though he knew these answers already, he gets her talking. God is a God who listens. He gives her a promise - “I will make a mighty nation out of your son.” Even though Ishmael’s lineage would rival Isaac’s, he is a God of blessing.
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Creative Spiritual Disciplines
06/23/2025
Creative Spiritual Disciplines
God has created us with the ability to connect with him. In fact, we are most satisfied when we do. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Isaac Funk explains that spiritual disciplines are ways through which we walk with God. Yet, at times, our spiritual disciplines may seem dull, flat or tired. It is in times like these that we need to think creatively about the activities we regularly engage in that train us in connecting with God and growing more into his likeness.
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Before "I do"
06/09/2025
Before "I do"
A lot of health for marriages lies in the prework, before the marriage happens. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer and Arlan Miller speak about the pre-contemplative, contemplative and engagement phase of marriage and the great deal of promise these stages hold. They bring to bear resources and advice for both singles and the supportive community that surrounds them. Show Notes: The health of the marriage is what individuals bring into the marriage to create it. For this reason, attention to oneself is a critical starting point for future marital health. Singles should consider the following: Walk with God in healthy discipleship. Develop a healthy Christ-centered identity. Grow in healthy self-awareness. Learn to cope with uncertainty or unmet expectations. Nurture a community that will provide godly counsel. Gain realistic expectations for marriage. Steward a healthy understanding of intimacy. Engagement is a unique and time-bound stage for engaged couples. If not stewarded well, wedding preparation can overshadow marital preparation. Couples should consider the following: Develop healthy connections with each other. Grow in friendship. Learn to honor each other. Establish a practice of proactively stepping into issues that arise in the relationship. Establish healthy rhythms that will carry over into the marriage.
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The Story of Mental Health
05/26/2025
The Story of Mental Health
May is Mental Health Awareness month. Like most matters that get highlighted with a month’s recognition, there is a story to be told. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ron Messner and Ted Witzig Jr. join to tell the story. A story that has loving as Jesus loves at its center. The story of mental health can be told from two perspectives: a societal understanding of mental health and the care that comes from that understanding.
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Receiving God's Blessing
05/12/2025
Receiving God's Blessing
God was very thoughtful and intentional about how to bless his people. “Do it like this” he told Aaron. His blessing (captured in Numbers 6) is beautiful poetry. Not only is it beautiful to the ear, but it is also health to the heart and soul. In this episode of Breaking Bread, let’s learn together about how God chooses to bless us, how to receive His blessing and how to bless others with our Father’s words. Show Notes: We live in a world of cursing. God knows this, so he has thoughtfully chosen to bless us carefully. And when he does, he confers abundant, flourishing life on us. Receive God’s blessing in Numbers 6.
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Emotional Dependency & Enmeshment
04/28/2025
Emotional Dependency & Enmeshment
The capacity for emotion sets us apart from all things living. It gives us the capability for healthy, deep and intimate relationships. What does it look like when our relationships are too enmeshed emotionally? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Kathy Knochel teach us about enmeshment and the dangers of being too emotionally dependent on others. Show notes While we are to receive and give support to others, we are not to take ultimate responsibility for other's wellbeing. Unhealthy emotional dependency can happen when two or more individuals lose their independence and identity to the relationship. Individuals assume unhealthy responsibility for the feelings of others. Often it is marked with overwhelm and exhaustion on the part of one and deeply felt need on the part of the other. When this occurs in the family system, it often goes by the term enmeshment. However, emotional dependency can occur between unrelated friends also. Finding health for individuals in emotionally dependent relationships will require some action. First there needs to be a recognition of emotional dependency. Second, boundaries will need to be put in place to promote safety between the individuals. Third, individuals will feel a mixture of guilt and loss. Working through these emotional realities is necessary. Finally, reengaging in the relationship at the healthiest level possible.
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Are We Too Fragile in Life?
04/14/2025
Are We Too Fragile in Life?
There is a lot of offense these days. Probably not more offending than normal as people have acted badly for a long time. But it seems people are quicker to call foul when they are hurt by others. “Trauma”, “emotional hurt”, “abuse”, “bullying” are household terms and sometimes we drop them when the opportunity is right. Have we become connoisseurs of the offenses against us? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter and Ted Witzig Jr give us some important tips on living in a world of offense. “Trauma”, “hurt”, “abuse”, and “bullying” are too real to get wrong. Show notes: Living well in a world of offense will require a healthy view into our hurt and a healthy view out of our hurt. A healthy view into our hurt: Acknowledge the offense against you whether great or small. Welcome others into it. Seek perspective so you can size it correctly. Engage in the work of healing. Pursue forgiveness. A healthy view out of our hurt: Have a realistic and broad understanding of the offenses that many in this world face. Have a biblical understanding of the world we live in. Understand both its brokenness and beauty. See God’s intention for a coming reconciliation. Seek joy and wholeness in Christ.
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Emotional Affair
03/31/2025
Emotional Affair
We are built for relationship. There is a yearning, need and desire within us for emotional connection with others. In the marriage relationship this can be both an asset and a liability. In this episode of Breaking Bread, marriage and family therapist Kaleb Beyer helps us understand the signs, offense and repair of emotional affairs – when emotional intimacy outside the marriage compromises the covenant of marriage. Show notes: Three stages of emotional affairs: 1st Emotional intimacy with another person outside of marriage. Deep connection at the heart and emotional level. 2nd Secrecy Walls are built between spouses and access to the illicit relationship is sought and protected. 3rd Sexual tension Physical relations may or may not be happening. However, there is growing openness to them. Recovery from emotional affairs. 1st End the illicit relationship. The betraying spouse needs to cut off the illicit relationship at any cost. 2nd Boundaries are set. The betraying spouse takes full responsibility for the affair. Boundaries are set that will help the betrayed spouse feel safe and stable. 3rd The betrayer grieves their relationship loss. The betrayer closes the door on the illicit relationship emotionally. This is done through grieving the loss. This grieving process is best walked through with a friend or counselor and not his/her spouse. 4th Cultivate friendship and emotional intimacy with spouse. Over time, with relational repair, trust and emotional intimacy with spouse increases. 5th As a couple, reflect on the context of their marriage. The couple learns from the painful experience. What individual and couple dynamics provided the context for an emotional affair? Moving forward, how do we wisely live together to prevent it from happening in the future?
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Habit Formation
03/17/2025
Habit Formation
We are creatures of habit. Rhythmic, repetitious actions that are triggered almost without notice. For good or bad, these habits shape us in profound ways. To help us wield the power of habit for good, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter take up the topic of habit formation in this episode of Breaking Bread. Show notes: Habits are reinforced by the positive feedback we experience when we do them. Typically, bad habits form naturally with immediate favorable reinforcement. For example, scrolling on your phone becomes a habit when it seems to cure momentary boredom. Typically, good habits form intentionally with long term favorable reinforcement. For example, practicing scales on the piano habitually forms muscle memory that will produce a good piano player in the future. Tips for Intentional healthy Habit Formation: Identity: See your habit as evidence that you are the type of person you want to be. For example, Sandy wants to be a thankful person so she begins to understand herself to be a thankful person. When she journals two things she’s thankful for each day, it reinforces her identity. Make the habit accessible: Build the structure that will make your habit easier. For example, Todd wants to exercise in the morning. By setting out his running clothes the night before, he makes the first step in exercising, that is getting into his workout clothes, accessible. Use habit stacking: Pair a desired habit with a habit or routine that you already have established. For example, Jake wants to be a prayerful person. He decides to pray while he brushes his teeth, a habit he has already formed. Make yourself accountable: Let others know you are forming a habit and ask for their accountability. For example, Jenny wants to move her body more. She asks a friend to keep her accountable that she walks 8,000 steps each day.
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Anxiety and Our Youth: Instruction (Part 2 of 2)
03/03/2025
Anxiety and Our Youth: Instruction (Part 2 of 2)
Generation Z has been dubbed “the anxious generation.” Any adult who has the opportunity to walk alongside these anxious ones knows how painful it can be. Sometimes we need someone who has walked this road in both directions to provide light and insight. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Nichole Suvar, an anxiety and depression survivor, speaks from her own journey of anxiety and illumines a path forward for the anxious - both young and old. Show notes: Nichole Suvar is an anxiety and depression survivor and Intentional Living Strategist who speaks and writes on the intersection of mental health, faith, and God’s design for mental wellness. You can access free resources and sign up for her free weekly email devotional at .
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Anxiety and Our Youth: A Story (Part 1 of 2)
02/17/2025
Anxiety and Our Youth: A Story (Part 1 of 2)
Generation Z has been dubbed “the anxious generation.” Any adult who has the opportunity to walk alongside these anxious ones knows how painful it can be. Sometimes we need someone who has walked this road in both directions to provide light and insight. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Nichole Suvar, an anxiety and depression survivor, speaks from her own journey of anxiety and illumines a path forward for the anxious - both young and old. Show notes: Nichole Suvar is an anxiety and depression survivor and Intentional Living Strategist who speaks and writes on the intersection of mental health, faith, and God’s design for mental wellness. You can access free resources and sign up for her free weekly email devotional at .
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