Final Fancast

Two millennials with maxed out goofball stats tackle one of the biggest video game series of all time. Mike (lifelong superfan) initiates Remy (total FF newbie) into the arcane secrets of Final Fantasy one game at a time. Ridiculousness ensues. Friendships are tested. Each episode, more final than the last.

Aesthetic Lava (FF3 Part 7) 03/21/2025

Aesthetic Lava (FF3 Part 7) Onward to the Labyrinth of Ancients and Syrcus Tower! We fight a Titan made up of four Gastlies then touch another crystal and are imbued with exciting new vocational skills. Remy timeloops back to Eureka. Talking weapons are cool. The knight job is okay I guess. Does the ranger have wilderness survival skills or…? /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/35545560

Vs. The Nine Foot Tall Twink (FF3 Part 6) 03/07/2025

Vs. The Nine Foot Tall Twink (FF3 Part 6) Mike acquires some summon monsters. We get a rad new airship that comes with guns and a free bed – but who services the Invincible’s vending machines? How does Unei use dream mastery to clean up some rock mess? How precious is human mortality actually? I wonder how the Hecatoncheir feels about his precious mortality after we kill him dead. Mike spills some tea about the development of FF3. Along the way we'll visit the Temple of Time, the Ancient Ruins, Falgabard, and the Cave of Shadows. Music used for Gutsco Protein Powder segment: "" by Anonymous420 () Thanks, Anonymous420! Sorry, Anonymous420. -_- /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/35529735

Whoa There, Delilah (FF3 Part 5) 02/21/2025

Whoa There, Delilah (FF3 Part 5) Four geezers save us from exploding shoes then trick us with shrooms. Goldor, who likes gold, throws his evilest money at us. Bards sing some tunes. We get shot down in Saronia for interrupting a heated shirts vs. skins staring contest. Remy stumbles upon one weird trick Odins hate. Mike gets quizzed on colors. Stops at Goldor Manor, the Circle Cave, the Sunken Cavern, and the Saronia catacombs. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/35374535

Excessive Generosity (FF3 Part 4) 02/07/2025

Excessive Generosity (FF3 Part 4) The mystery of the gysahl greens is revealed! A piano is played. We bask in our sheer confusion re: fundamental aspects of these player characters’ identities. Which of these lil dudes gets invited back to Princess Sarah’s castle after the adventure concludes? Desch’s girlfriend needs a pep talk. A blue lady is a key. A generosity challenge is undertaken and one of us is shooting for extra credit on the assignment. Goldor hatches a questionable plan. We question his questionable plan. Somebody tells us to get shoes from a sewer. Smarter podcasts discuss literary themes and influences in these games while we’re stuck simply trying to make sense of what’s happening. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/34835260

Publish Then Perish (FF3 Part 3) 01/17/2025

Publish Then Perish (FF3 Part 3) You know what? Let's keep playing this game and nab that fire crystal. Experiments are conducted to answer questions from last episode. Lali-ho! Dwarves have more hats. We bought a bunch of Gutsco Protein Powder and became our own bosses. But what’s going on with that snake around Gutsco? The mystery of the missing Glass Tower is not that big of a mystery. How does thievery work? Should we steal from demons? Books are the weapons of scholars and therefore should be unbannable if that's how the 2nd amendment works. We end up being tree doctors and then call it a day. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/34835110

Tree Roaming the Desert to the West (FF3 Part 2) 01/03/2025

Tree Roaming the Desert to the West (FF3 Part 2) First we cast toad. Now we become the toads. Plus, honeys, we shrunk ourselves! Hey, what's in this gnomish bread? Also a snake attacked. It hurt us. It hurt us real bad. Can we hurt it real bad? Probably not, right? This dungeon has a serious rodent problem. Remy learns about double negatives the hard way. A chocobo travel dare is undertaken. Original Chocobo Art: Exiting the cave: Final Fancast is produced by and for Final Fantasy fans for purposes of commentary and criticism. We are not affiliated with, nor authorized or endorsed by Square Enix Holdings Co., Ltd. If you love Final Fantasy like we do, support the creators and buy the games. All of them. Preferably using the links on our website. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/34588975

It Came from the Gutter (FF3 Part 1) 12/20/2024

It Came from the Gutter (FF3 Part 1) The CRYSTALS speak! The podcast has begun a new game, a Fantasy so FINAL that it can only be undertaken by four brave ONION KNIGHTS (whatever they are). MIKE offers the most revolting description of the BASILISK you could possibly imagine, while REMY, the last hope for decency and decorum, enlists the help of four retirees from the fabled city of MIAMI. Meanwhile, the Dragon King BAHAMUT squaws and screeches, djinn and land turtles stalk the countryside, and the GOLDEN GIRLS rise to defend their cheesecake from the growing darkness.... Note: Apologies to anyone who was notified twice for this episode. There was an error in the orignal audio file that necessitated its replacement. We promise to do our very best to avoid this in the future. Final Fancast is produced by and for Final Fantasy fans for purposes of commentary and criticism. We are not affiliated with, nor authorized or endorsed by Square Enix Holdings Co., Ltd. If you love Final Fantasy like we do, support the creators and buy the games. All of them. Preferably using the links on our website. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/34559750

Double Dadless (FF2 Part 6) 12/06/2024

Double Dadless (FF2 Part 6) Cyclone devastation! "Everyone is dead." How many father figures can one game kill off? Let's finish Final Fantasy II before it gives us the depressions. Mirrors summon dragons. We kill the Emperor. (He gets better.) Then we dance for a very long time. Afters, we'll treat ourselves to a little headcanon. EPIC REVEAL: Leon is a jerk. Cid gifts you an early Xmas present then gifts himself a nice lie-down. Was Lil Nas X's "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)" music video about the Emperor? Zombie Borghen, what are you doing in that box? Were you waiting to hear our FF2 Final Fancast final fancast? Okay, Zombie Borghen. If you insist. Hey, check out this cool Yoshitaka Amano art we mention on the show: https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Final_Fantasy_II_concept_art /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/33360802

Wise Beyond Her Year (FF2 Part 5) 11/15/2024

Wise Beyond Her Year (FF2 Part 5) Remy's upset about something. Not sure what. The podcast ends, but then it keeps going anyway. Mike is attacked by a wild quiz. The toad spell becomes Remy's entire way of life. The Red Soul is back – but not for long. The Basilisk is also back but it's okay actually. Cyclone fortresses are cool but how do they work? Joe Rogan’s not gonna see this episode coming. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/33360747

Dissed By Deists in Deist (FF2 Part 4) 11/01/2024

Dissed By Deists in Deist (FF2 Part 4) We play until we defeat Gottos in Fynn then drop by the Tower of Mysidia. Garland sasses us on mic. We celebrate our first chocobo sighting then face our greatest challenge yet: pronunciation. Mike and Remy steal a sacred artifact and kill a member of an endangered species. Gosh, what else happened? Enter Layla the pirate. Exit the king. We break out of the prison in our mind. Plus, move over flat Earth theory -- the toroid globe is here to explain the world map. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/33360557

Goodbye, Red Soul. Rest in I Don’t Care (FF2 Part 3) 10/18/2024

Goodbye, Red Soul. Rest in I Don’t Care (FF2 Part 3) Mike & Remy say goodbye to Josef, say hello to Pancake Josef, snowcraft into the icy Snow Cave, and finally blow up the Dreadnaught. Now we have questions. Is the Adamantoise actually a turtle or a tortoise? Why the Red Soul gotta be so nasty? Why is gold stuff better than mythril stuff? What happens if we blow up the dreadnought before saving Princess Hilda? Can Were-Panthers turn into humans or…? Whyyyyyy so many empty rooms? /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/33360687

Told Off by a Teletubby (FF2 Part 2) 10/04/2024

Told Off by a Teletubby (FF2 Part 2) We play until the Dreadnaught takes off. Actually we still like this game a lot. Airships are cool. Dreadnoughts are very cool. But then Palamecia does war crimes. Let’s talk about what makes FFII unique so far. New mechanics, new ways of interacting. Remy gets wrecked by werewolves and vampires. Will other Universal Monsters join in later? This game tells you what areas you’re supposed to wait to enter by ruthlessly killing you when you step out of line. Plus: Purple Pajama Wizard betrayal /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/32870007

Minwu Is Daddy (FF2 Part 1) 09/20/2024

Minwu Is Daddy (FF2 Part 1) First episode of Final Fantasy II. We played until we rescued the miners and Josef's daughter, Nelly, from the Mythril mine and return to Altair. We got a full FF game under our belt now and we’re feeling ourselves. One step closer to FF podcasting legitimacy. Mike gets a super legit Final Fantasy pop quiz! Enter Minwu, a favorite character to whom nothing bad shall ever happen. Final Fantasy II’s keyword system and unique skill development. Hey wait, there’s writing and characters and stuff in this game. Hey, why is the inn charging me based on my desperation for healing? What kind of hospitality/healthcare system is this? /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/32869972

Toot the Flute To Get the Loot (FF1 Part 4) 09/06/2024

Toot the Flute To Get the Loot (FF1 Part 4) We finished Final Fantasy I! Time loops are literally the worst. How do they even work? Aesthetics of a fallen civilization: always be robed. Did they originally try to call it Fighting Fantasy? Really? BUT FOR REAL, THOUGH? Plus listen in to our very first Final Fancast “Final Fancast” where we discuss which character Awkwafina should play in the movie version. One Last Thing Here's bit Mike was talking about. Credits by Lolique () by Kirk Osamayo () () /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/32868202

Magical Ninja Situation (FF1 Part 3) 09/06/2024

Magical Ninja Situation (FF1 Part 3) Let's play the Cave of Trials through defeating the Kraken. Mike vents his spleen about FF16. Remy vents their spleen about memorization puzzles. Mike encounters his very first time loop and has to replay the first game thus far. We have our first airship sighting in the series, our characters evolve like Pokemon, and we chill with our new bestie, Bahamut. What do the Black Mage and the Invisible Man from Hotel Transylvania have in common? Let’s think too hard about what oxy-ale is and how it works. Fairy slavery is very bad, actually. Don’t do it. Mike attains a surprising new credentials after being quizzed on dia-bility. Then we'll get our James Cameron on and take this submarine for a spin. Finally, Remy forgets an important step in completing the Sunken Temple and Mike as attakced by Harry Potter slash fic. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/32868152

Pre-Undead (FF1 Part 2) 09/06/2024

Pre-Undead (FF1 Part 2) We're playing from the Lich's defeat up 'til we nab the Fire and Ice Crystals. Lessons are learned along the way, like instant death spells sound metal AF but are bad actually. Plus, we'll take our first Mythology Minute (or five) to talk about dwarves and elves. Can we get some therapy for the guy who’s sleeping against a gravestone? What does any of this have to do with Mr. Bucket? Plus Mike and Remy take sensory damage. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/32868077

Take Me to Church (FF1 Part 1) 09/06/2024

Take Me to Church (FF1 Part 1) The journey of a thousand games begins with a single save file. Mike and Remy start from Square(-Enix) one: the very beginning of FFI. Mike outlines his storied relationship with the Final Fantasy series. Remy recites what they know, which isn’t very much and also isn’t very accurate. Valuable lessons are learned about life, death, and one key difference between churches in Final Fantasy and churches in real life... as far as we know. /episode/index/show/c1485e1d-7d30-48e4-9177-adb7a4d4afaf/id/32868012

Final Fancast

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