The Empowering Working Moms Podcast-Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik
The Empowering Working Moms Podcast: Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik is a podcast for professional moms who are in survival mode and are ready to take hold of their lives and thrive. Your host, Prianca Naik, MD, a certified life coach, shares proven strategies along with cognitive psychology-based coaching techniques to will help you to transform from burned out to lit up. You’ll learn how to successfully hone in to your own power to finally get unstuck and get momentum to build the life of your dreams. If you’re ready to step into your best life, go to priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to get started.
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Managing Difficult Relationships: Proactive Strategies for Working Moms
04/03/2024
Managing Difficult Relationships: Proactive Strategies for Working Moms
Episode 93: Managing Difficult Relationships: Proactive Strategies for Working Moms Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about dysfunctional relationships with people who have narcissistic or borderline tendencies and how they must be managed with strategies and boundaries. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can protect your peace by utilizing the tools she explores in this week’s episode. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn how: Dysfunctional relationships can negatively impact mental health. To recognize unhealthy relationship patterns. To utilize strategies to manage dysfunctional familial relationships. To detect narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 93. Hello there, thank you so much for tuning in today, it is springtime finally. And in the northeast, there's hope in the air, summer is around the corner. And I'm sure so many of you have awesome trips planned or have had spring break trips or are doing summer stuff, all good. And today's episode was really inspired by the dysfunctional relationships that you probably have. I know there's no way all your relationships are 100% perfect. So I want to talk about why this happens. And I think participating in unhealthy dynamics and relationships is a major thief. And it steals peace of mind. And it steals joy and it's a huge waste of time. So, the sooner that we can start learning about our lives, and just learning to be aware, and then with that awareness, we can have tools that we use to really create this beautiful life. Because I know so many of you probably are just go, go, go from the minute your alarm goes off, getting out the door, yelling at your kids to get ready on time, brush their teeth, then you feel guilty for yelling. And then when you're at work, all you're doing is thinking about home stuff and your kids. When you're with your kids you want to be present. But even during their nighttime routine storytime, you're just thinking of your to do list or counting down the minutes until you get a little bit of a break before you go to bed. And so that's what I call the daily grind dread cycle. And it's such a shame for any of us to be participating in it because we've worked so hard to enjoy this life. And really, the work I do inside my program with clients, really teaches them to undo all of this and really heal from the inside out to create a next healthier and happier generation of children. So that's our kids. And the work we do really does impact them and have a ripple effect on those around us. And as we model better self talk, better coping skills, showing them how we practice mindfulness, for example. And we take a moment before we lose it and things like that. They see that modeled and they learn to do the same thing, which is amazing. So this work really isn't so much about us. I do this work, so that we get to be better for our kids than our parents were for us. So let's dive into the topic today. And also, if you want to learn more about this work, don't be shy book a call with me, , the link is in the show notes. And we can really dive deeper into what's going on with you, see if we're a good fit to work together. So in today's episode, I'm going to start by talking about some access to personality disorders, typically, narcissism and borderline because I think that they're very common, and those are really two disorders, and people have those traits, and these traits can be really pervasive in a lot of people. And in fact, Type A women, perfectionists and high achievers, overachievers often have narcissistic parents. And that narcissism has its positive side because as that parent, they identify with you like you're a part of their identity, and you're perpetuating their sense of self. So they put pressure on you to produce and to do well, and even there are narcissistic cultures, which I really believe that South Asian culture has a lot of narcissistic tendencies. And I'm gonna get into the actual disorder, so how you can learn and identify it. But yeah, there are cultures that have personality disorder traits and people who have those. And so the reason I'm talking about it today is because someone in your family probably does have major traits or the actual disorders of narcissism and or borderline. And educating ourselves on this can really help alleviate our own suffering, and bring us peace of mind because we can categorize things. I find categorizing things or putting people in a certain box actually will help me for understanding strange and irrational behaviors, so like why they behave the way they behave when I'm not understanding it. And remember that when people are behaving irrationally, their behavior rarely has anything to do with you, and really has everything to do with them. But engaging with them is always a waste of time. Because most of the time, they never change, they never grow. So having a real conversation with them isn't really going to go anywhere. And it's simply a waste of time and energy. And conserving our time and energy is such a crucial part of this work. So that's why I talk about it all the time in so many episodes. Even the concept of creating boundaries, that saves you so much time and energy, like a lot of this work, is to save us that space so that we have the things that really matter. Now, the relationships with people who have narcissistic tendencies or borderline tendencies really must be managed with strategies and boundaries. I'm going to talk to you about that to give you some tools. So let's start with narcissistic personality disorder, and really go through some criteria that the DSM-5, which is a manual used by psychiatrists and physicians and clinicians to diagnose mental disorders. And I'm going to abbreviate NPD, narcissistic personality disorder. It is really characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, feeling full of yourself, needing admiration all the time, and really lacking empathy for others, being really self absorbed, really self centered. So someone who's really preoccupied with themselves, their achievements, their image. They may seem overly confident, but this actually really masks a deeper vulnerability to criticism, like they're really sensitive, because they have a poor sense of self, they usually have poor self esteem, but that's really, really hidden deep inside. And men like this are actually very charming. And they will suck you in with grandiose gestures in the beginning of dating and can really charm and knock your socks off. So beware of that if you're a single woman dating, if it's too much too soon and too fast, it probably is, and they probably have these kinds of narcissistic tendencies. So key criteria for NPD includes a grandiose sense of self importance, preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success and unlimited power, brilliance, beauty. A belief that one is special, unique, better than other people, needing excessive admiration, having entitlement, like unrealistic expectations of people, especially favorable treatment, or automatic compliance with their expectations. Usually taking advantage of others or manipulating other people to serve themselves, lacking empathy, really being unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others, envy of others, or even thinking that others envy them, kind of a haughty attitude. So these are the main traits. Now I'm going to define and explain borderline personality disorder which I'll call BPD, which is really marked by intense emotional turmoil and unstable relationships. So these kinds of people, they're moody, they have rapid mood swings, they have major fear of abandonment and difficulty with self image, but it's not that obvious. In fact, there's a book that's called "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" which is the book for dealing with people with borderline personality sorter. So think about, I hate you, but I don't want you to leave me. So if you're ever wondering what it means just go back to that line because it really does sum it up. So they really want to avoid abandonment, either real or imagined. They have a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized alternating between extremes of idealization, but also devaluation. They have an unstable self image or sense of self, they're impulsive and at least a couple of areas of self damage or self harm, which would be spending too much, over sexing, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating, things like that. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self mutilating behavior, instability due to marked reactivity of their moods. So they get really angry over not much. They have feelings of emptiness, they have inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling their anger. So they're often angry, they're often raging. They also have transient stress related paranoid ideation. So like they're paranoid. And by thinking about this, it will help you when you have an idea of what these two things are, and you can always Google it, or you can look at the show notes here, and you can go through that list and it can help you to think, hmm, does this person have these traits? Okay, maybe they have these traits. So then I don't have to really engage so deeply in this. Like it's kind of a last cause to engage with a narcissist or like to try and have true intimacy with them. Or even borderline, they're so turbulent and they don't really improve with time. So you're better off just acknowledging and then deciding what kind of engagement you want to have with them. So I'm going to give you some strategies to navigate these relationships with people who have borderline tendencies or narcissistic personality sorter tendencies. And remember, some people have the full blown disorder, which means they have got the majority of the list I listed out earlier in the episode, or they might just have tendencies. And that's fine, like, no one's all good or all bad. But these disorders, I forgot to mention, really are thought to be more nurture the nature and they develop through childhood trauma. And once the brain is affected by that childhood trauma, often these personality disorders ensue. And it can be really confusing because these people often do really well in their careers, they do really well at work. And then at home maybe, or with their family or with super, super close friends, they act completely different. So it can be really confusing. And you may be surrounded by this, and then think to yourself, hmm, I'm the crazy one. But the truth is that once you can start recognizing the attributes that I talked about in this episode, you can start getting some distance and empowering yourself to decide how you want to operate with those sorts of people. So number one is to really set boundaries and decide for yourself, like what is acceptable for you, and what isn't. So if you have someone who, let's say is in your family, and they throw tantrums, or they make you uncomfortable, you could, let's say go to a family holiday. And then you don't have to tell them your boundary. But in your mind, you could say okay, well, if they have a tantrum, I will go to my room, or if they have a tantrum, I will leave early, like I'm not going to stay. And that way you have your safety mechanism for yourself amidst any chaos. Another strategy is really to maintain your own mental health and take care of yourself, get good sleep, really make sure that you're in not your worst self when dealing with these kinds of people. Meaning that you're not exhausted, that you're not depleted. And you can actually be in an okay position to manage the nonsense maybe that they will throw your way. Developing friends that you choose that are really healthy and wonderful and supportive that you can turn to that can validate some of these things that when maybe somebody in your family acts strangely, you can call a friend, and they can validate for you that yeah, that is really ridiculous. As opposed to when you're in your family, especially your parents, your siblings, it's really hard to see straight because you've been with them for so long, you're in certain patterns with them of your own. And so sometimes it's really helpful just to have an outside resource. And that could be a friend, that could be a therapist, that could be a coach, but it's always useful to have another set of eyes and ears on things. And really educating yourself and understanding these disorders so that you can really give yourself some grace and understand what is happening. And focusing on what you can control which is yourself, and how much time and energy you want to engage with certain people, especially with your family it can always be tricky, just figuring out physical distance. Or maybe instead of staying at your mom and dad's house for 10 days, you stay for three days, things like that. Learning how to de escalate things like lowering your voice or walking away or just not engaging in war with these people, with sparring with them because it's just a waste of time. And really learning to be your own support system so you're not turning to these kinds of people who really can't give you what you're looking for. And another strategy I'll give you is called gray rocking which is a strategy that's used to interact with people who have personality disorders or manipulative or abusive, like narcissistic and borderline. And gray rock really suggest becoming uninteresting, unresponsive, like a dull gray rock. This is to avoid giving the manipulative person any emotional response or engagement. So especially narcissists, if you don't respond, you don't react, you're not giving them a big emotion, they're not satisfied. So there's like not a whole lot they can do. And gray rocking is when you make yourself really emotionally nonreactive, make yourself really boring, you offer minimal responses, you withhold any engaging reactions or emotions that the manipulative person could use against you or to fuel their behavior. And the goal is really to make the manipulator lose interest in you because they're not going to get the emotional response that they seek. And this is really effective with people who thrive on creating drama, or they really want to elicit a strong emotional response from other people. It's also recommended for dealing with anyone who has narcissistic traits. And it's good in situations where engaging in a normal way just doesn't help and it's a good kind of last resort. So, how you go about doing this really minimal responses, providing one word answers or non committal responses, like hmm, I see, or okay. Avoid giving detailed answers or showing emotional reactions. Neutral topics like mundane neutral things, like the weather, TV, routine tasks. Avoid sharing personal information, don't overshare and don't share personal information, feelings, thoughts, or anything really about you to give them ammo against you. And really being nonreactive in your demeanor. So really controlling your body language, your voice, being monotone and avoid showing signs of agitation or distress. And really disengage like excusing yourself from interactions if you feel like things are escalating or you're uncomfortable, and consistency with using this method so that they realize that they really can't get you to engage at all. So this is kind of a weird one, I don't really do gray rocking so much. I'm pretty big on boundaries and expectations like adjusting, which is actually another tool, I will mention, adjusting your expectations of people who have these characteristics, realizing that they're not going to be able to provide for you in the way that you want that they're not going to be able to have true intimacy and really support you. So adjusting that expectation and making peace with that, I think is the first step and then seeing how much you want to engage with them. And it's always tough with family because I know many of us like we don't want to cut off our family members. So just figuring out how to operate and navigate within this scenario. But with gray rocking, it's really good with super manipulative and abusive people. But it's good to run it by a therapist or a coach and just get somebody else's opinion on it, because it is kind of an extreme way of responding. And definitely not my first choice, I would say it's kind of a last ditch resort. And if you find like gray rocking is causing you distress, then just don't use that. But I'm just giving it to you as an option today. So that's it. Those are the personality disorders and traits and solutions and tools you can use. And I really hope that you take note of this episode, and maybe even make some notes on your notes app in your phone that you could go back to. And you'll find it comforting when you can identify these traits and people who are close to you and act accordingly to protect your mental space, time and energy. And as you do that, you're gonna find you're gonna have more peace of mind, more energy, and really enjoy this life and not get sucked into drama, not get sucked into other people's unhappiness. Because you've worked so hard to build this life and you want to be creating a happier and healthier life for your kids. Because these personality disorders, they're not healthy for our kids either, even to over expose them to our family members who act like this, right? So we don't want to engage in this. We don't want to model it. And this is how we do this work and get healthier for them so that they get to be even healthier than we are when they grow up. And so that concludes today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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Embrace the Journey: Lessons for Busy Moms from a Working Physician
03/27/2024
Embrace the Journey: Lessons for Busy Moms from a Working Physician
Episode 92: Embrace the Journey: Lessons for Busy Moms from a Working Physician Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the importance of taking the time to appreciate the day-to-day, regular, mundane moments in your life in order to truly cultivate more presence and peace. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how soaking in your surroundings can help you keep yourself grounded and be more content with life. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn how to: Manage the common struggle of working mothers to stay present amidst their busy schedules. Be present and enjoy life. Embrace life as a journey and not just a series of achievements or goals. Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 92. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today to today's podcast episode of empowering working moms. And hopefully the weather is warming up near you. I know finally the sun is shining here. It was raining like crazy yesterday. It has been an interesting week or so, maybe 10 days for me. My old au pair left, I was awaiting my new au pair, in between childcare, trying to work. And then I ended up having to move up carpal tunnel surgery. And that was going to be literally like the second day my new au pair was here. And then driving with her to make sure that she's safe to drive my kids. It's been pretty logistically crazy. And that's what really inspired today's episode. Because really, so many times when we're at work, we're just obsessing over our to do lists, getting everything done, vacuuming with the Dyson, the crumbs, or signing our kids up for soccer. And then when we're at home, we're thinking about emails that we need to answer. Or if you're a physician, you might have charts pending that you need to finish piling up and a backlog. And you end up just not being present. You're not present at home because you're thinking about work. You're not present at work, because you're thinking about home. And you're just missing out and you're stuck in this daily grind dread trap. And this really happens because you're just so busy. And you're busy trying to keep up with everything in your life. And then you just end up falling behind and feeling like you're not doing good enough of a job. And then life is just really passing you by. And so, this whole logistical the circumstances that were super annoying in these past 10 days, I just had so much to do, my to do list was really long. And well, I don't make to do lists. But you know what I mean, I had a lot to do. And it was just really hectic. And so it really got me thinking about the fact that life is now, like it's happening right now. And the regular moments of our day to day lives are really what make it up. And yes, there are beautiful trips. There are memories we make that are really special, like the holidays. But besides those, we've got our day to day life that we are lucky to wake up and be alive. And I say this because as a physician, I have seen so many elderly folks, and they're really sick. And they just wish they had more time and they're towards the end of their lives. And it's tough. So while we're here and we're still young, we get to decide what kind of life we want to live. And that means that we learn to be present for the now and enjoy the journey. And I bring up this concept of the journey because it really is all about this journey. Life is a process. It's never going to be perfect. And it's all about just being here. And when things go wrong, learning the lessons and being there with the turbulence, knowing that it's going to end and then you come out on the other side. And you are all good. You're resilient. And I'm sure if you're listening to me and you're thinking, What the heck is she talking about? Like, I don't believe a word of this. I know you can reflect and think of times where you have bounced back and you were so strong. Because you are a kick ass female and you work you are a mom and we are tough, we are so much tougher and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So back to the journey. It's really about being here, being present, enjoying the now, and not sweating what's to come. Because a lot of the time, what's to come isn't as bad as we assume. And we sit there worrying because we want to troubleshoot, we want to problem solve, we want to fix. And it's just a waste of time and energy. So then we drain ourselves but on top of the waste of time and energy, you end up missing out on what's right in front of you. And so I'll give an example of this actually, this was happening today. So I got my new au pair and we always do a lot of test driving. I do the drive with my kids, getting on and off a kind of like a mini highway where I live, getting on and off, dropping my kids off, figuring out that route, watching are you putting your turn signal on, all those things. Anyway. So, I go through that. This is my second time doing this with my new au pair. And I feel stressed a little bit because of course, I'm very protective of who drives my kids. They are young children, and they're my most precious cargo. And of course, we're all as mothers, right? We're not just let anyone drive our kids. So it ends up making me always feel a little stressed and anxious. Right. So then I ended up getting this retired police officer to do a test drive and lesson test him out and give an objective assessment on how he thinks the au pair drives. And that usually puts my mind at ease, and helps to teach any driving skills that maybe they need some brushing up on. So today, I went to an Easter egg hunt with my kids while my au pair was getting the lesson. And then after the Easter egg hunt, I took them to frozen yogurt. And that's all to say that during frozen yogurt, I knew that her driving lesson was coming to an end soon. And I could find my mind wandering and thinking about oh, what is the driving teacher gonna say, is he going to say she's a good driver, is he gonna say she's not good, am I going to have to go in to re- all these things just, I could feel my brain going down that path. And as my brain was going down that path, because I do this work, I'm able to notice that. So I pulled myself back into the present moment, I looked at both of my kids, because they're so cute. And they were enjoying their frozen yogurt so much. And I looked at each one of them. And I thought this time is not coming back. And this is a really special time, the time that I get to take them for frozen yogurt. And some of the stuff just brings me to tears, the regular daily stuff, because here's the thing, and I'm not preaching about this, it's really the truth like. These are our lives people. Like taking our kids to frozen yogurt, that's just a regular thing to do. But you know what, 20 years from now, when they are off at college, or they don't live with us anymore, we're going to be dying to spend time with them. And they may not want anything to do with us. I believe it's sooner than that, actually, that people say that they're just not hanging out with us. Maybe in middle school. I don't know, my kids are young. But that's it, watching them enjoy their frozen yogurt that mundane, boring, it's not so boring, though, just regular moment, that's what we get to soak in. That's what we get to be grateful for. That's what we get to really be present for instead of sitting there and worrying about what the report is going to be about the au pair driving. Because regardless of the outcome of that report, I would figure it out, you would figure it out, we'd be fine no matter what, right? So why bother worrying about that and missing out on the magic of the ice cream, or the frozen yogurt and the look on the kid's face, or my daughter has chocolate ice cream all over her lips. It's just really cute and adorable. And the enjoyment that my son shows. And I look at him. And I look at both of them. And I remember when they were newborns, and I just cannot believe how quickly time has flown by. So just being grateful, being present, being here and now. Pulling yourself to the present moment by simply noticing what's happening around you, noticing what's happening right in front of you, and pulling yourself there instead of letting your mind wander. Because believe me, you got this, whatever challenges come your way, you're going to be able to deal with it no matter what. And so that's the journey, the journey is here now. Which also brings me to pointing out that we often are so used to going from one thing to the next and checking off one box, then getting to the next and the next. And we're always on to the next thing. And then we're sitting there thinking yeah, I'll be happy and satisfied when. I will be happy when I go on this vacation, I will be happy when my divorce is final, I will be happy when I got the perfect job. And that's just not the case. The happiness is now. The happiness is appreciating all the beauty for what it is while it's happening. As opposed to thinking that a circumstance something that happens is going to solve all your problems. It's not, and the sooner that we can realize that we are in control of our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own experience of life, this journey, the more empowering that is and that's how we end up enjoying our lives and being happy. Okay, so in a world obsessed with outcomes and goals and the end game, it's so easy to overlook what's happening, where the real magic is happening, where we learn and we grow. And that is so beautiful, and the destination, where we're heading, which is really we're all heading to death, right? We're all gonna die someday. So we might as well just enjoy the time that we have. And I know you might think that's easier said than done. But I will tell you that even in my darkest hours, and the most difficult difficult times in my life, especially in the beginning of COVID I would say from 2020 to 2022. Even when I was pregnant with my daughter from 2020 to 2021, I would enjoy the fresh air outside and soak in my surroundings to keep myself happy, balanced, sane, whatever you want to call it. Even when I was struggling big time in my marriage and things like that. It was a very hard time. But by being present, and really focusing on where I was at the moment, that is what allowed me to be well during a very turbulent time. So think about this. How often are we rushing through our days, we're just checking off the stuff on our to do list without really experiencing our life. And we're taking for granted the journey. And instead, we can allow ourselves to be present and really savor the regular parts of life and find gratitude every single day. And gratitude is so important in just helping ourselves have a lens that is a little bit more rose colored. And as we realize that we don't have to take life so seriously, we don't have to be so intense about everything, we can have a lot more fun, we can be more adaptable, we can be more flexible, we can be resilient. And this really helps build our sense of self and balance and stability. And by really just taking hold of each day and appreciating it and taking things in your stride. And the thing is, there are always going to be curveballs that get thrown our way. A client was telling me how she was supposed to go to a party and then her spouse who's also a physician had to stay late at work. And then she had to do all this juggling, and eventually she got there. But the point is that when those things happen, right, that's all part of the course, we make all these plans and we've got to learn to roll with the punches and be flexible and not freak out when things change when plans change, because that is life. And we get to realize that sweating the small stuff, it doesn't really matter. And it is a waste of time. So I would just encourage you, I know you're ambitious. I know you're a go getter, I know you're getting stuff done left and right. But I would really encourage you to slow down, stop and really soak in moments with your kids, holding your spouse's hand, the hugs, bedtime, whatever you enjoy. Looking at them while they're enjoying something, seeing the magic of whatever it is, kids get really excited about the tooth fairy or all these things. And just being there. We're not going to remember half of the stuff that goes on anyway. But I know for me when I'm dying, I am going to look back and know that I did the best I could and I did my best to connect and be there with the people who mattered to me the most. And I highly encourage you to do the same. Because that's what this is all about. It's our journey, learning to be present and really letting go of toxic stuff, toxic dynamics, we let go of our worries, we don't have to worry so much. It's just not worth it. And we can learn to have presence and connection and truly enjoy our lives. So if you really want to dive deeper into this work and heal yourself from the inside out to truly find peace, happiness, joy in your life, and therefore we're going to create a happier and healthier next generation of kids. Book a call with me . Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you next week.
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Unpacking the 'Not Good Enough' Syndrome: A Guide for Ambitious Women
03/20/2024
Unpacking the 'Not Good Enough' Syndrome: A Guide for Ambitious Women
Episode 91: Unpacking the 'Not Good Enough' Syndrome: A Guide for Ambitious Women Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the concept of not feeling good enough, which is an issue that many women struggle with. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can combat this type of mindset in order to create a more peaceful and joyful life. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn about: how perfectionism hurts us workplace dynamics and gender roles fear of failure and its impact the deep-rooted 'Not Good Enough' Story shifting perspectives and healing Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 91. Welcome. Hello, how are you? I hope you are doing well today. I want to welcome you to today's podcast episode for all of you moms in demanding careers. You've worked so hard to build this incredible life for yourself. And you probably are wishing that you didn't feel not enough or you feel the mom guilt, or you have impostor syndrome. And you don't want to have to be worrying about the next thing all the time. And the problem is that most people are putting the needs of others in front of themselves or making decisions based off what other people think. All the hard work that you're doing is based on other people's needs more than your own, you're people pleasing. Or you don't realize that we can't control other people's opinions of ourselves, or what they're thinking. It's simply a waste of time and energy. So how do you find peace of mind and joy? You can try therapy, yoga, self help books. But the question is, how can you find the right therapist or even get to and from the yoga studio, you probably don't have enough time. So you can actually cultivate peace of mind with the practices that I talk about because of the ease, and there's just not a whole lot of time and energy required. And when most people think about making changes, they think that it takes a ton of time, or that you have to sit down for hours and hours to meditate to get peace of mind. Even though with the methods I'm talking about today, you don't have to do that. And you can totally learn to be present, feel peaceful, be connected. Why? Because I have streamlined implementable processes. So if you're wondering how you find peace of mind, balance, presence, let me show you in this episode. Today, I'm going to talk about the concept of not being enough or good enough. And I will tell you that you are enough, you are good enough. And Type A women, they hold themselves to perfect standards, which is totally impossible and only is going to lead us to being unhappy. And we're conditioned to do this at such a young age where we are trying to impress our teachers, we're people pleasing when we're really little. We're trying to get 100% on tests or getting straight A's in school. You get a little bit older, it's competitive. You apply to college, then maybe graduate school like medical school. In fact, I've actually seen that, apparently, I don't know this personally. But I've been told that it is worse to apply to private high schools than it even is college undergrad applications, which is crazy to me. And grades, test scores. That's a great way to get people spots in competitive universities, it's difficult to figure out without quantifying, but honestly, this really has created a society that expects perfection. And don't get me started on medical malpractice lawsuits. Because physicians are human beings, they're going to make mistakes, and yet they're expected to be perfect all the time. So some of the things that really contribute to our feelings of not enoughness is the high expectations that we place on ourselves, we're perfectionists. Type A people are just high achieving, competitive, and they set a standard for themselves that really is tough to maintain. And when they're not perfect, this leads to feelings of failure, which really isn't fun. And women in particular might feel extra pressure to not just succeed in their careers but also meet society's expectations of their personal lives, meaning being married, having kids, doing all the stuff at home, doing the cooking, doing the cleaning. Even in workplace dynamics, women often face challenges in the workplace as in gender bias, and often are given leadership positions not as soon as men. And these challenges make it harder for women to feel validated in their achievements. Furthermore, you have internalized gender roles. Even as society evolves, women feel like they need to prioritize caregiving and relationships over personal achievement or maybe that's expected. And this can really lead to internal conflict and feeling inadequate at work. So this brings me to, if you're always trying to be perfect, then really nothing you ever do is good enough and that feels bad. And the not good enough story and that narrative can be really deep from our childhood, or even other events. And though others might look at me as a success, for example, so many times in my past I felt less than or not good enough. And I still struggle with that story, I have to keep myself in check, I got to do the work to make sure that I don't play into it all the time. So through working on myself, and really teaching these tools, I don't give that story nearly as much airtime as I used to, but it still comes up. And I find the not good enough dagger is really stabbing, I get triggered pretty badly. And usually, when I feel triggered, it's a moment to examine what's really going on. And it helps me to figure out my patterns and therefore disrupt them. And that's really how we start to ditch perpetuating generational trauma, by being aware of our own stories, being aware of our narratives, and making an active decision if we're going to play into them or not. Because as we learn to not play into the bad narratives, the narratives that hurt us, we help to create a healthier next generation. That's really why we do this work. And I find my clients struggling with the same issues. And when you have that not good enough story. You transpose it onto your life, and you start believing I am not a good enough of a mother, I am not good enough of a wife, I'm not good enough of a professional, I'm not good enough of a doctor, I'm not good enough of a lawyer, I'm not good enough of a friend, I'm not good enough of a community member, I'm not good enough of a neighbor. And it is really a terrible lens with which to see yourself. So what do we do with this not enough syndrome? First, we get to see it for what it is, that it's just a story. It's just a narrative, it's just a mode our brain likes to operate under. And then we can get distance from it. When we see it and observe it, we don't have to play into it as much. So we notice it. And then we can neutralize it. And if you have never heard this from me before, check out my episode on the three N method during which I talk about how to deal with any negative thought or feeling. And so you notice it, you neutralize it, you get your distance from it. And then actually, the third step is new. You get to create new stories in any given moment, like I am enough, I am good enough, and start to see yourself at your core, like your core self, knowing that you are worthy no matter what, you are lovable no matter what. It's enough. And asking ourselves, when it comes to not being good enough. What are we doing with our identity? Are we tying our identity to our achievements? Are we tying our identity to our net worth? Are you tying your identity to your career? Or what else might you be tying your identity to that maybe isn't helpful? And if so, we can acknowledge this, that that's our ego. And really, attaching ourselves to our ego, these external kinds of things, it really only increases our suffering. And though it sounds dramatic, human suffering is universal. And this is a tenant in Buddhism. And it's just good to know because we will often create suffering in our lives without even realizing we're doing it. So the more we can detach from the not enough story, the more we can detach from these concepts, the more we can really be one with our inner being, our core, our soul, whatever you want to call it, but really get in touch with ourselves beyond our egos. Not the ego of like, I think I'm great. The ego is the part of ourselves that really attach ourselves to external things, external achievements, external validation. So the more we can detach ourselves from that ego, the more we can heal ourselves. And the more we do that, then we really cultivate inner peace, happiness. And what happens then? Well, we live happily ever after. Sort of, because there's always stuff to deal with. And that's why it's so important to have these tools in your toolbox to work on, to deal with all of the adversity that will come your way. There are always challenges in life that may come up, right. So as we heal ourselves, we find peace and happiness and then it bleeds on to our kids, our spouses, our friends, our families, creating a happier and healthier family, a happier and healthier next generation, and truly a happier and healthier world. And that's why putting some thought into this life is so important, not just to decrease our suffering, but really to create a better place in this world and really have a better next generation. And if you want to dive deeper into this work, please check out my website , and learn more about what I do. And if you are really feeling brave, book a call with me to see if we are a good fit to work together. If you're ready to take that action to step into the best chapter of your life yet, then let's do it. Find out if we're a good fit to work together. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week.
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The Ultimate Guide to Weight Loss: Exercise Tips That Work
03/13/2024
The Ultimate Guide to Weight Loss: Exercise Tips That Work
Episode 90: The Ultimate Guide to Weight Loss: Exercise Tips That Work Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the vital topic of exercise and the vast benefits it can bring to your life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can implement strategies for working out in a way that is manageable and realistic. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: strategies you haven’t heard of before to create a consistent exercise routine how to create a sustainable flexible work out schedule the scientific and medical benefits of working out Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 90. Hello. Welcome to this week's episode of the empowering working moms podcast-real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, that is me. I am a board certified internal medicine physician, but most importantly, the mother of two beautiful children and motherhood changed everything for me. And that's really what brought me to doing the deep work that I did to get here and then help others to do the same to really heal and do the work, heal from the inside out to create another generation that will be happier, healthier, our next generation, our kids that hopefully won't have to do as much healing because of this work. So this work that we're doing here, inside overcome burnout for good is so much more than just ditching burnout and exhaustion, which it does, but truly having a ripple effect with our families. So many of my clients have better marriages and a better connection with their kids. And this ripples out, right, but also it will have a generational ripple effect, too. So today, I'm going to talk about the follow up to last week's episode on healthy eating nutrition stuff. So now I'm going to talk about working out. So I'm really going to teach you about how to finally get that workout routine under your belt. Because I myself hated exercising for the majority of my life. And then really, since my son was born, I've had a consistent workout routine for almost six years, even though most of my life I hated it. And what most people do is really they're following society's standard of success personally and in their career, instead of really focusing on what would make them happy, or you're putting the needs of others above your own, putting yourself last. And all the hard work you're doing is based on other people. And here's what happens if you're doing that. You're feeling exhausted, depleted, you're giving way too much at work and at home, nothing to yourself, you're in survival mode, and really just not doing what you want to be doing. Like working out, for example. And there are so many ways to figure out how to get exercise going. But I'm going to give you my best way in this episode, I don't want to overwhelm you, so that you're finally getting time yourself to work out. So you have more joy more presents, you're gonna get the mental health benefits, peace of mind, and really feel better. So before I get into strategies and how you're going to get more exercise into your life, I want to talk about the benefits of exercising, which includes increasing longevity, really healthy aging, because exercise is associated with a decrease in mortality. So consistent exercise shows an increased lifespan and a lower risk of dying from age related diseases, which is awesome, right? That's what we want. And it really promotes healthy aging by maintaining physical function and really delaying the onset of chronic diseases. And in fact, large observational studies suggest that regular exercise reduces risk of disease specific mortalities for most people, men and women, a wide variety of age ranges. And this is really seen across the board, different ethnicities, different income levels, different geographic settings, it is totally the same where physical activity is associated with lower risk of mortality. So if that's not a reason to get your butt in the gym and exercising, I don't know what it is. Also exercise enhances muscle strength and endurance because working out stimulates muscle protein synthesis, so creating proteins, leading to more muscle strength and endurance which is so important for just daily living as you get older. It also boosts our immune system. So it really helps us to make it easier to fight off an infection when we get sick. It's helpful in weight management, really burning calories and helps get your metabolic rate higher which helps with weight maintenance and weight loss. Physical activity as you know probably releases endorphins, which are really feel good hormones and this helps our mental health So this reduces feelings of anxiety and depression while really boosting overall mood. And I will say, so my number one reasons for working out are improving my mental health. If I'm having a bad day and I work out, I just feel better after. I find even that often I'm on my peloton, and when I'm on my peloton, my breath is quick. And I really have to focus on my breath to keep myself going. And it's almost like a meditation while I'm working out. And working up a sweat and getting my heart rate going, I just feel better. And then the number two reason I personally exercise is for boosting confidence. I just feel more confident if I work out, I feel better about my body, I just feel good. And then of course, the third reason is just all of the health reasons that I'm getting into now, which I'm going to add another one, it enhances cognitive function, because you're going to have better blood flow to your brain when you're exercising, you're opening up your blood flow in general, you're getting your heart pumping better. And you're going to help your aging process, decreasing cognitive decline. Exercising also regulates blood sugar levels, which is awesome because it helps in regulating insulin. So it reduces insulin resistance, because you get insulin resistance in diabetes. Helps in glucose metabolism. So just sugar metabolism, which reduces the risk of type two diabetes. And even if you're managing diabetes that you already have. Now, a lot of genetic factors play into this kind of stuff. But we can do things in our power, like working out to help change this. It also strengthens bones and joints. And so when you're doing weight bearing exercises, even as simple as walking on the treadmill, where you got your bone on bone going. Not if you've got bad osteoarthritis of your knees, but that kind of training helps to increase bone density in men and women and really helps reduce osteoporosis, which is a condition that creates brittle bones and osteoporosis creates more fractures. And then that's a worsening mortality for elderly folks. So things you can do to strengthen your bones and prevent osteoporosis are walking, running, lifting weights sometimes, depending on how much your joints are working on that. Not things like swimming, or even biking. Another thing that exercise does is it improves your sleep quality, because regular physical activity is just going to tire you out, deepen your sleep, have you fall asleep better. And also, exercise improves cardiovascular health because regular physical activity strengthens the heart, therefore reducing blood pressure, improving circulation, like I mentioned in preventing cognitive decline, and thereby decreasing risk of cardiovascular disease. Now, many studies have been done showing a strong inverse relationship between exercise and the risk of coronary artery disease. So the more you exercise, the less risk you have of heart disease, heart attacks, cardiovascular events, all that stuff that's pretty freakin scary, right? And I'm just gonna get a little technical and medical in case you're interested. I think it's interesting, of course, because I'm a physician. But just so you know that we're not making this stuff up. Aerobic training induces beneficial effects on lipoproteins. So lipoproteins means your LDL and your HDL, so it's going to increase your good cholesterol, decrease your bad cholesterol. And that's how you can help your cholesterol levels, which we know we want to maintain an LDL of around, let's say 100. So physical activity is also associated with lower levels of inflammation. So if we did blood work on you and your CRP, which is an indicator of inflammation, you can look at that. And if you work out regularly, and you're healthy, probably that would be lower within normal limits, which is awesome. That means the body is less stressed. And you're also going to have just general well being, healthy body, all that stuff. So just think about all of those effects and benefits that working out can have. Moving our bodies is so important. And if you think about this, what's happened to modern day is we've got sedentary jobs, we've got busy, hectic lives. But naturally we are meant to walk around, right. Cars are all artificial constructs. But back in the day, cavemen were hunting and gathering foods. So they were out all day and that was their form of exercising. So now we have to be mindful of doing that, basically simulating. So if we simulate that, we're going to be forcing ourselves to exercise. So you might ask, what do I know about this? And how am I coming to you today with a little bit of an off, beaten approach on exercise? So I mentioned this on last week's episode. But essentially, I was overweight as a child, probably from around 10 to 13. And then my weight fluctuated for a while until I hit my 20s. And even in my 20s, I watched what I ate, I watched my diet, and I was able to maintain a healthy body weight, but I really never had a consistent workout routine. And funnily enough, when I was in residency, I would get on health kicks, and I would exercise but it would never last, right. And then what ended up happening was, I really had to examine my life after my son was born, I just was so overloaded working as a full time physician. And then my most important work, my most important job is being a mother and realizing that being an anxious mess all the time just isn't an okay atmosphere for a child to grow up in. So I started doing all the self care things, including exercise. And as I really stuck to it, and I found that it really helped my mental health, I just did it. And that was it. But what I found was making that commitment to exercise on a regular basis, it eventually became my identity. So when you're deciding to exercise, you really have to see yourself holistically and see yourself as a healthy person, whether you are or whether you aren't. I'm healthy, I work out, and that's just what I do. So when you don't work out, that feels weird, not the other way around, right. So when you know that I'm just a person who works out, that's just who I am. That's what you say to yourself, because the thoughts that we feed ourselves truly create our reality. So you get to embody the identity and speak to yourself in a way, that means I workout regularly. Okay, so it's an identity shift more than anything. That is the critical, crucial piece in this is embodying the identity of a person who's healthy of a person that works out. Now some generalized principles on this, and then I'm going to give you really specific tools and tricks and tips to work out. The generalized things you can do is really, to ditch the all or nothing mentality. I think people, they have these crazy lofty goals, they go from not working out at all. And then some of my clients will even come to me telling me, hey, I want to work out for an hour a day, four days a week. And I say to them, that's really a lot to do when you're starting with zero. And it's just too much. I mean, if you can do it, you can do it great. But I feel like when we set ourselves up for failure, we get discouraged. And then we're much less likely to actually carry out our goal. So ditching the all or nothing mentality and really embodying the something is better than nothing. So believe me, I'm human, you know, I'm definitely not perfect. And on the days when I don't want to exercise, and I'm really sluggish, and I just don't feel like it, I will force myself to get on my peloton for 15 minutes or do some other workout for a really short period of time. And what I find is that after the workout, I feel better, and I'm proud of myself for doing something, because something is always better than nothing. And there's always a compound effect of this kind of stuff over time, over months, over years, where your 80 year old self will thank you for doing the workout. And if all else fails, just take a five minute walk outside or run up and down the stairs for five minutes. That's all you have to do. Just a little bit is truly better than nothing. And remembering with the identity piece, why you're doing the workout. So for me, I know I'm gonna feel better if I exercise and the aftermath of working out is helpful for me just to get going on days when I don't want to. And really thinking about your longevity, your long term health goals and knowing that exercise is a part of that plan. Now in terms of crafting routines, you really want to have some flexibility around this. It depends on your personality type, but I find the more rigid I am with my routine, the less I want to do it. So I started out exercising two to three days a week. Then it went from three to four days a week. Now it's at about four to five days a week, sometimes even six. Because the less pressure I put on myself the better I personally do. So have some goals for yourself. You can start with one to two days a week for literally five to 10 minutes for those two times. You don't have to start with a half hour or 40 minutes. Something is always better than nothing. And you want to make it realistic and doable. So one great thing you can do is you wear your workout clothes when you're feeling like working out so that you're going to work out. I have never put on workout clothes and not worked out. Maybe once in several years, it just doesn't happen. So that's one thing, two is to do something at home. Having a gym membership is great, but it's a production, going to the gym, doing your routine and then driving home depending on how far it is. And the harder you make it for yourself, the less likely you are to do it. So you want to really get rid of any barriers between you and working out. Have a few things that you find not totally terrible, not totally boring, and do those workout options. For me that really is either a workout video through my peloton app or getting on an actual bike, I find those doable, helpful. And even actually, I was a member at this gym called lifetime and they had childcare so I could drop my kids off on the weekends. And I would go do my workout. And it was almost like a little ritual that we would all do. And it was nice because afterwards, my kids and I would go get food. So you can find all kinds of ways to make it more appealing for you. Now, if you're lacking time or you're lacking motivation, the time lacking part, I think really start small, like five to 10 minutes, even a couple days, you don't have to do it every day. And that's it, you'll see that you can do it if it's a small goal. And then once you get a little bit of momentum, you will be able to find time and increase your time to do that. Now motivation wise, it's always helpful to have an accountability partner or maybe someone that you could go on a run with or go on a walk with, be it your partner or a friend. That can be really helpful to keep people active. Some other easy to follow tips are if you're a person who really lives by your calendar, schedule your workouts in. Involve your family, maybe all of you can go on a walk or bike ride or run. That makes it more fun, doable. And that way you don't even feel like you're taking away time from your kids. My peloton is actually in my basement, which is also the children's toy area and they love going down there to play with their toys. So when I go downstairs to do my peloton workout, I can watch my kids at the same time and they're having fun. So that's all good. Incorporating physical activity into daily tasks. Maybe even start as small as taking the stairs at work. Parking far away as long as it's not winter and icy to get in more steps. Embracing outdoor activities like a hike. Rest when you need, create some variety in workouts. Also people love joining gyms and going to the workout classes, that can be a really fun way to make friends and create a sense of community. Create like a five minute workout rule if you're going to force yourself to work out for five minutes, and then after five minutes, you're not feeling it, you can stop. You can pair it with TV shows. Let's say I know Gretchen Rubin on her podcast happier she does it with her sister and her sister's a type one diabetic has to exercise. So her sister only lets herself watch The Real Housewives if she's on the treadmill. Otherwise, she's not allowed to watch it. So her incentive is to have that paired activity like her guilty pleasure, like the Real Housewives. And she will only do that when she's exercising. Find your optimal time to work out when it works for you. For some people, that's first thing in the morning. For me, it tends to be in the afternoon or early evening after I'm done with work. But before it's time to spend time with my children, that is my optimal time. First thing in the morning for me doesn't work. It's different for everyone, but really figure out a time that you can stick with. And maybe you could even depending on what time you have, you could do five minutes in the morning and then 10 minutes at work, take a walk. If you've got a lunch break or something at work, you can do that. And even if you can't make time to work out or go to the gym, but you set an intention to exercise. You could do something small like work with resistance bands, you could do some body work where you're doing, let's say core exercises, stretching, yoga, a quick walk. And also one of the most important things in all this is to really keep a positive mindset and congratulate yourself. Be proud of yourself when you complete a workout. That is awesome because you're doing awesome just to do a little bit of it. And truly finally, embrace consistency over perfectionism. It's so important to be consistent over weeks, months, years. And it feels so good to really look back and think about all the time you've been working out. Because if you have a consistent routine you are going to see, and especially eventually when you're older, feel the benefits of all of the things I mentioned in the beginning of the episode. Now, I want you to remember that your journey is unique to you. Working out is really not just for weight loss and having a fit body, which that's part of it. And it also helps to maintain body weight. But it's really more about your identity, how you feel. And finding what works for you, having flexibility and just having compassion for yourself when you're trying to make these changes. And have fun. It's so...
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Mastering Healthy Eating and Diet Strategies for Lifelong Wellness, Weight Loss, and Maintenance
03/06/2024
Mastering Healthy Eating and Diet Strategies for Lifelong Wellness, Weight Loss, and Maintenance
Episode 89: Mastering Healthy Eating and Diet Strategies for Lifelong Wellness, Weight Loss, and Maintenance Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how you can cultivate a way of life that is sustainable and how to lose or maintain your weight without feeling restricted. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about three tips to help you navigate healthy eating habits that are realistic and obtainable. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: The five mistakes most people make when "dieting." To navigate nutrition in the sustainable way. How healthy eating can be a way of life that is flexible and maintainable. Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 89. Well, hello there, welcome to the empowering working moms podcast. I am so glad to have you here listening with me today, I want to talk about something that is like a pretty hot topic, I think amongst working moms, which is nutrition and healthy eating habits if you want to lose weight or maintain your weight, and it just gets harder as we get older. So a lot of people think that by like dieting, and following strict diets, that's the best way to lose weight. But if that were true, then everyone who's on a diet would be losing weight. And we just know that's not the case. Sometimes you can watch what you eat, and you feel like the scale isn't moving. So a lot of mistakes that people make with dieting is that they have like an all or nothing attitude, they maybe follow something really strict, and then they throw their hands up in the air about the diet. They treat it as like super black and white or good or bad. Certain foods or being really rigid, which I think can be really overwhelming and exasperate the issue. And then oftentimes, a lot of people, I think don't take into account liquids, or even alcohol is high in calories, including a glass of wine with dinner, let's say. And so these are some of the mistakes that people make when they're trying to lose weight or maintain their weight. And really, the solution to this is learning to cultivate and embody a way of life that is sustainable and doable. The majority of the time, you don't have to be perfect by any means. But just something that you can practice about 75% of the time. And with that you can most certainly maintain your weight. And I say this as somebody, who I was an overweight child, and I was probably overweight by about 30 pounds in middle school, and I yo yo dieted as a teenager, and my weight really fluctuated, probably until I hit medical school. And then I really started learning more about nutrition and my body and how to eat properly and was able to live that way more than just following diets and restricting for a short period of time. And I would say I've maintained relatively the same weight for about maybe like 20 years now. So I want to share with you everything that I've learned. And with my medical background and my own personal experience, I'm going to teach you today about how to really maintain your weight, or even lose weight without totally feeling restricted, and in a more manageable, sustainable way. So I'm going to talk about three of my favorite ways of eating. And I'll be honest with you that I play around with all three of these. And I don't necessarily do one all the time. I more or less follow one or three of these methods several days a week. And then often on the weekends on Saturdays or Sundays or if I'm going out to eat, I indulge more. So the first way of life that you can do to lose weight or to maintain your weight. Or also just if you go on vacation, or you have a few days where you're eating and drinking poorly. And you want to do a reset, one of the best things to do is an intermittent fast. So this is really just really an idea of getting your body into fasting. And so the best way to do this is to fast for 16 hours and then eat during an eight hour window. So you can do this for let's say five days. And then for a couple days, you don't necessarily have to follow this. So you can also start slow and really just do this for 12 hours to start. So let's say you stop eating at 8pm. And then you go to bed at 10. You wake up at 6am. For the first two hours, you can fast. And I will tell you I actually don't do this 100%, I cheat and I drink coffee. And then once I drink coffee, I feel settled. This isn't like a perfect fast by any means. And then I will eat for the hours allocated like 16 hours I'll fast and then I'll eat. And there are times when I might have to break the fast earlier depending on how I'm feeling and that's totally fine. And I think that's really what I want to bring to your attention today is having flexibility, lacking the rigidity that makes a lot of these diets. It really is a way of life but making it so that you can give yourself grace, you don't have to be all or nothing. And you really just practice doing these things and have consistency. And it's okay if you mess up or it's okay, if you have a less than perfect day, you just start over at any time that you want. And one of the benefits of intermittent fasting is really just allowing you to probably consume less calories just because it's over a less amount of time. And you're going to improve insulin sensitivity. So for those of you who you're borderline diabetic, or you've got your hemoglobin A1C, which is a measure in the bloodstream, which tells us that people have diabetes. If it's maybe higher than you want it to be, and you feel like you're having a little bit of insulin resistance, this is really helpful in protecting against type two diabetes, really improves that insulin sensitivity. And it helps to support cell repair processes. Because during these fasting periods, cell maintenance of health is their best time to really repair. And you get an increase in the brain hormone, BDNF, brain derived neurotrophic factor, which really may aid in the growth of new nerve cells and is believed to protect against Alzheimer's. So that's pretty cool. And in general, fasting has been shown to really increase lifespan and longevity. So you can do a couple different ways. You can fast for 16 hours and only eat during an eight hour window. You can eat normally for five days a week, and then really limit calorie intake very severely on two days, which I don't like as much. And so I recommend the first way, which is the 16 hour fast, including when you're sleeping, and you can always gradually build up to that. And you want to make sure that you drink a lot of water. And if for any reason at all, you feel weak or dizzy or you're not feeling well, you may need to adjust your fasting window, not make it so long, you want to talk to your health care provider. And this episode is definitely not specifically medical care, though I am a medical doctor, I'm not your doctor, but I am just giving information and tips that you can follow. And of course, the key in all of this is consistency and patience, and giving yourself grace if you're not doing it perfectly, really you just try this see it if you like it, do it. And then you can adjust it as you need. So for me, I don't do intermittent fasting every single day. I especially will do it if I have an indulgent period of time. Like this past weekend was my son's birthday party, I had family in town, we were going out to eat a lot. So this week, I will attempt to do the intermittent fast several days. Or if I come back from vacation, I will do the intermittent fast for several days. But by no means do I do it every single day or religiously. I stagger the different kinds of ways I practice my eating. And it's great because it keeps things fresh. But it also really helps me maintain a good body weight. But I will say as well. Exercise is really wonderful and important. And it helps boost your endorphins. And I can definitely do a different episode on exercise stuff. But I used to actually hate exercise and for the past five years, I've consistently exercised first it was like two to three days a week, then three to four days a week. And now it's usually five days a week. But that is helpful, more than even in weight loss just in cardio protective health in blood flow to all of your organs, blood flow to your brain, decreasing dementia, increasing longevity, and of course, maintaining a healthy body weight. Now the second way of life, which I guess I really like to call these way of life more than diets. The second option is the Mediterranean diet because it's really not super restrictive and it's very practical and easy to follow. It's mainly fruits and vegetables, which you're gonna get a lot of antioxidants, fiber, vitamins that you need, whole grains like whole grain bread or couscous, which also gives you fiber and nutrients. And then healthy fats like olive oil or nuts and seeds, and avocado for example, legumes like beans, lentils, chickpeas, and fish and seafood. And in terms of meat, poultry is really preferred over red meat you can have a little bit of red meat, a little bit of sweets, but really limited, and eggs and cheese and yogurt as well in those. So it's really extensive and that's why you can do it without really feeling like you're on quote unquote diet. And the benefits of this are really you've got the heart health because it's really great for reducing risk of heart disease, managing weight. A gain, also with diabetic prevention and control and all of the anti inflammatory and antioxidants in this food may really help reduce inflammation or even prevent risk of cancer because you've got these lovely antioxidants helping your body. And so this is extremely easy to follow. And really, if you want to do it, I would say do it the majority of the week and learn to practice that and see how it goes for you because it's very easy to do in like social settings. And it's so simple to follow that it's a great lifestyle to have. And now my third option is probably the most well known option, which is the low carb diet. And that's really great for diabetic prevention, it decreases inflammation, it's really good for your skin. Because carbs are really inflammatory, they can increase acne, or even dandruff like seborrhea dermatitis. And so low carb is a great way to go. It's even helpful in preventing heart disease. So I think the most important thing with knowing low carb stuff is it's not just obvious things like sugars and desserts, and chocolate, and let's say sugary juices. But it's also really most things that are white, like rice, or pasta, or bread. And now these are not necessarily things that you have to stop altogether. But really being mindful of how you're consuming your carbohydrates. And some of the carbs I really like, are like, if you like bagels, for example, an English muffin, like half an English muffin is just lower in calorie, low carbs. It's the really dense carbs, like a bagel, there's so much denseness in there, that's gonna have more carbs than a lighter, like more air in there, which is like an English muffin, for example, right? So you can make those kinds of choices where you're like, oh, well, I'm not gonna have a bagel, but I'm gonna have an English muffin. Or if you're going to have pasta, you really have to know that a serving size of pasta, you want to have about half a cup. And that's not what is served when you go out to eat. That's not how much you're going to take. And you really want to try and keep it to half a cup if you're eating, things like that. So that's one easy way to really lose weight is the low carb, high protein, high healthy fats diet slash way of life, but it's also not very fun. So I think that the low carb way of life, you can definitely do multiple days, and you could stagger it with the other two. That way, it's just more doable. So you can kind of play around with what you like in terms of that. And you just want to replace high carb items with lower carb items you can try let's say like cauliflower rice, instead of white rice, you can do a little bit of meal prep with veggies. And really make sure not to put sugar in your drinks or drink high sugary sodas and monitor how you're feeling. And everybody feels differently. But really, I think once you get over the first hump of reducing carbohydrates and eating high protein, more veggies, a little bit of cheese, let's say, you're going to feel full, and you're going to feel better. Because carbs are really pro inflammatory, we often will have like a sugar crash after having sugar. And I'm not saying you can't indulge in carbohydrates or sugar, just keep it to like 20% of the time. And then let's say 80% of the time you follow the low carb diet. And I know the Atkins diet, which was super popular in the 90s is a no carb diet. And that is pretty miserable. But that actually is one of the easiest, fastest ways to lose weight because you put your body into ketosis. And even though you're eating protein, and let's say fats, your body still goes into a starvation mode. So that's if you're really looking to lose a ton of weight. But in my opinion, it's not sustainable over the long run. So when you're picking these lifestyles and making these choices in your eating, keep in mind that really the most important thing of all is to be consistent. Play around with them, mix and match them. You don't have to do one thing every single day. You can see what works for you. You give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. If you quote unquote mess up your diet, you can start that day to do better or the next day. And you just keep at it. And eventually if you practice all of these ways of eating and ways of life, they really eventually just become you and it's not so much that you're going on the diet and off the diet and on the diet and off a diet, etc. And if you're in a sedentary job where you're working from home, really make sure you move your body, you get out, you take a walk at the very least or you do a workout because when you're just sitting around there aren't very many calories burned. Although we do burn calories with various activities, even using our brains, but you just want to move your body as well. So if you like this, let me know, leave a podcast review. And if you are like many of my clients who are burned out, they've been exhausted, and through working with me they've learned to enjoy their lives and truly find peace of mind, heal themselves from the inside out so that we have a healthier generation of kids because we've got a healthy generation of parents. Book a call with me . Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.
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How to Make Friends as a Working Mom
02/28/2024
How to Make Friends as a Working Mom
Episode 88: How to Make Friends as a Working Mom Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how powerful human connection is and debunks the myth that all relationships must last forever. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can do what is right for you without feeling guilt or shame in order to cultivate more joy and peace. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: The importance of tribe and connection and how you can cultivate them How to prioritize your well-being How to make peace with relationships that no longer work Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 88. Hello, thank you for being here and listening to this podcast today. I am so grateful to have you here. If you're new to this podcast, welcome. And thanks for joining. If you are a faithful listener, I so appreciate that you're listening. And if you can, I would love it if you would drop a review of this podcast. And let me know what you think because it's so helpful. And it will help reach others, so they get the stories, the connection and the tools. So today, I'm going to talk about a couple of things that came up, really the power of human connection. But the reason I'm bringing up this topic today is because I'm in this entrepreneurial network, and a conversation came up during which people were talking about how certain relationships are meant to come to an end. And I found that so profound, because I think often we are taught that relationships are supposed to or should be a certain way. And that way really is lasting forever. So I'm really gonna dive into that topic today. And if you are a professional mom, you've got a successful career that you're proud of daily, but you're filled with guilt, because you're just not showing up for your family in the way that you want. Or you just can't be present for the moments that matter. And your brain is always spinning in a million directions, thinking about your to do lists at work and at home. If that sounds familiar to you, please check out my brand new on demand masterclass. How overdrive and career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care in just five minutes a day, the link is in the show notes. Now, in terms of human connection, really, it's friendships and relationships that often connection makes us feel fulfilled, it boosts our happiness. And it's so important in our overall sense of well being. And where this really comes from is our sense of tribe, because tribe really refers to belonging to a social group of individuals, right, who have things in common, and they help each other. And this was so important, especially pre historically, humans were living in small nomadic groups relying on cooperation, working together, mutual support for survival. And so this was critical for survival. And if you take this evolutionary development, you can see how for us, we still want that same connection. The early tribes were closely connected by familial ties, and hunting and gathering and protecting each other from threats. And now that we don't need to be we can go to the grocery store for our food. And it's not quite the same, we still require that connection. So I bring this up, just so that you know that this is why we crave connection. But on the other hand, we've also been sold and told the idea that a lot of relationships have to last forever. For example, marriage is supposed to be forever. You're supposed to get along with your family. You're supposed to get along with your mom and dad. You're supposed to get along with your sibling. You're supposed to have friendships that lasts forever. And that is wonderful, right, when it works out. There are two people that create all relationships. And sometimes relationships just cannot last forever. Sometimes they are meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. And I want to talk about that today. Because I feel like that can take the pressure off and give us tremendous relief when our relationships don't live up to society's standards. Because these standards are what cause us suffering because we believe that we should be doing things a certain way. We believe that if our marriage ends or if a friendship ends, that we're failing. And I know if you're a mom who's in a demanding career, you're type A, you're a perfectionist. I know that you are probably considering yourself a failure when things aren't picture perfect. But remember, just because society has trained us to think a certain way, just because we are pressurized for things to last forever or for relationships to be a certain way. That does not mean that we have to internalize that. That does not mean that we have to agree. We can actually have our own take on relationships and decide if we want them. Decide if they're healthy and give ourselves grace and forgive ourselves if there are relationships that we don't want to be a part of. And maybe other people or society is frowning upon that, right? So, on one hand, we've got this need for human connection. But on the other hand, they don't have to last forever. So this concept of the tribe, it's really talking about our innate need for connection and belonging. Whether it is from our ancestors who were in tribes, even now, finding a sense of community and like minded individuals and people for your group is so important. And have you ever noticed that when you do meet people who are on the same page as you, or like minded people, how fulfilled you feel, how supported you feel, how connected you feel, right. And so, that's so important. So it's wonderful to make those connections. And I have been really doing this, in the last few years, I have been, I guess, you could say shaking up my life a bit, I definitely have a lot of old friendships, and I foster those, especially the ones that mean a lot to me. And there is something really special about friends that you've known forever, because there's a certain amount of safety you feel or you just feel like they know you or they knew you at a different time. And it's very comfortable. It's like your created and chosen family. So there's that. So I foster those. But I've also really been getting out in my own community. Meeting like minded women, meeting more people like networking a bit more, and just trying to surround myself with people who think like me. Because, it's important for us in our own personal development, growth or journey to feel like we're not alone. It's important for us to, I mean, we really are who we surround ourselves, by and with. So that also is crucial in our sense of fulfillment, belonging. So that's all to say that, it's great to be open minded and make new connections that maybe fit you better than some of your older friendships and perhaps, dial back on certain friendships that maybe you're outgrowing. And that's okay. You don't have to feel guilt, you don't have to feel shame. You can feel sad. I think change is really hard. And we can have grief for things that change. But just giving ourselves, just some leeway, and being easy on ourselves for, let's say, choosing not to put a ton of pressure on certain relationships on the forever part. Right? So think about marriage, right? Nobody goes into marriage thinking that they're gonna get a divorce, most people don't, I don't think. And our society really pressurizes us to stay married. And a lot of times people have really toxic situations, it's detrimental to their mental health or physical health. And if they have children together, or there are kids in that environment, it's horrible for children to grow up in an unhealthy environment. And those kids can often act out and have a lot of issues themselves. So nobody talks about that part, the part where, yeah, marriage is a serious commitment. And anybody who's married, it makes sense, they put all the work they can to keep the marriage together. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And that's okay. It's totally okay. You don't need other people's approval, to know what's right for you. Or even a friendship where maybe you've been friends for 20 years, and something isn't sitting right or that's just not the kind of person you want to surround yourself with. That's okay too, to not put a ton of time and effort into that friendship. Or even familial relationships that perhaps you wake up and you realize, hey, this is dysfunctional, these patterns are not healthy, like this is not okay. You don't have to be best friends with your parent or your sibling or whomever else in your family. You don't have to force yourself to do that. It's okay to find distance, it's okay to have friends who even function as your family. Right? So as we can give ourselves grace to distance ourselves from unhealthy patterns, even if society generally doesn't support us in that, it's totally okay. There are a lot of dysfunctional things that go on in society. I think we can all agree on that, right. So I want you to while you listen to this to feel supported in doing whatever is right for you. Right. So friendships as well. You don't have to foster friendships that aren't working for you as much anymore. If there are things you don't want to go to, gatherings and they're not aligning with who you are today. You don't have to go. We don't have to feel so guilty about everything all the time, like it's okay to live a life in alignment with who we are. Because as we continue to do that, as you grow, you're going to be happier and more fulfilled. And that in turn has a positive ripple effect on your own family, on your kids, on those around you. So there's nothing wrong with calling it quits with certain things or dialing back. And that's all juxtaposed or the background of that, right, is our need for tribe, which is why I talked about that in the beginning. We do need that connection. And so that connection and feeling supported is crucial for our well being, perhaps even our survival in some ways. And it's okay if you want to make new connections or do something different. I find I try to be really open about meeting new people, and it usually steers me really well. So this episode, the intention really is to let you know that whatever you're deciding in your relationships is totally fine any which way. You don't need to feel guilty or feel pressured by society's standards because it really just creates more sadness and suffering for us. So I'm so grateful that you tuned in today. And if you really want to learn more and dive deeper into this work, and ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care, without the therapy, without self help books but with proven processes that work. Book a call with me, . I would love to talk to you see where you are and if you're a good fit to work with me if I can help you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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The Top 10 Ways to Let Go and Find Peace
02/21/2024
The Top 10 Ways to Let Go and Find Peace
Episode 87: The Top 10 Ways to Let Go and Find Peace Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the importance of letting go and how it can serve to greatly improve your quality of life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you, as a professional mom in a demanding career, can learn to truly let go of things such as perfectionism and guilt in order to create peace for yourself. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: The importance of self-love and its impact on both personal and professional life. How to let go in order to ditch burnout. To release attachment to outcomes and be in the present moment. Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 87. Welcome. Welcome to the empowering working moms podcast real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, that is me, your podcast host, I'm so glad you're tuning in today. I'm recording this a little bit after Valentine's Day, which was literally one of my favorite Valentine's in such a long time. And it got me thinking about how important this work is, and just how loving ourselves is one of the keys to a peaceful, happy life. And by loving ourselves, we set an awesome example for our children to love themselves too. And I was thinking about really what love is, and how love in its purest, truest form, is simply unconditional. And if you are not sure of what love is, I encourage you to really think about how your children behave towards you, especially if they're young. And that is love in its purest form. Your kids love you just for being you. And there's no rhyme or reason to it. And it is the most beautiful thing. And so today I'm about to talk about the concept of letting go. Because most people have been following society's standard of success personally and professionally, instead of asking themselves, what would make them happy. Or a lot of working moms, whether you're working hard in your career, or even working hard at home, you're always putting the needs of other people in front of your own. So like the hard work that you're doing is based off other people's perceptions and needs more than what you want. And here's what happens if that's what you're doing. You're going to feel exhausted not getting enough sleep, too much work at home and too much work at work, you're going to feel depleted. Because you're giving at work, you're giving at home, and then you feel like you have nothing left to give. Or even if you are in survival mode, where one day bleeds into the next. I call it the daily grind dread cycle where every day is just like Groundhog's Day. And you just can't tell the difference between days, especially during the week, and you just want to get through it. Or even having no time where you're busy all the time, over extended. And that just leaves you feeling depressed and unfulfilled. And so there are really five ways of getting out of this and getting out of burnout and exhaustion. And I'm going to actually give you one of my favorite ways today. So that you don't get overwhelmed I can't teach you everything inside my program. But you will be able to be more present with your family and kids and have a better connection with them. Really cultivate more peace of mind get better work life balance, and even hours back each week of your time and your energy. So to truly understand the crux of letting go, we need to understand that it's not really just letting go of physical things like decluttering or the Marie Kondo method. It's about letting go of the mental load and emotional weight that we feel day to day because we've got that to do list that really causes us so much grief at work, at home. And the thing about the to do list and I have previous episodes on what to do regarding the to do list, but the to do list is never ending and it always has more stuff piling on. So it's not satisfying. And frankly, most of us are type A enough that if you let the to do list go, you'll see that you're gonna get everything done anyway. So we find ourselves just overwhelmed with obligations, expectations, and a lot of them we create ourselves, struggling to maintain that balance. So letting go really allows us to free up mental space, prioritize our well being, and get our inner peace back amidst all of the details of day to day life. And it's really a conscious choice to release things that don't serve us, to release attachment to outcomes, which I know is so much easier said than done. I know one of my senior partners and he's somewhat of a mentor to me, he told me long ago, like you do your best and then you detach from the result which I found really mind boggling. This was several years ago. But he was so right. And really surrendering to the natural, just having more flow in your day with grace and acceptance. So I'm going to talk a little bit about the benefits of letting go because I think it's important to understand why we let go. And then I'll give you some actual practical tips to do that. So, in the short term, we can really be liberated and unburden ourselves from negativity and self doubt. And really feel so much more free. And this really allows us to navigate life's challenges so much more easily when we can just let go. Because remember, the only thing we can really control is ourselves. We can't control circumstances, we can't control things around us. We can control what we think, what we do, and how we react to things. And there's so much power in that control. But then when it comes to all the other elements, we really have to work on releasing and letting go. And as we let go, we really clear up so much more space, in our minds as we're letting things that don't serve us or just are bothering us, letting go, it creates so much more peace. And as we practice, we can get better and better at it and really release attachment to the beliefs and patterns that maybe are not helping us. And of course, physically, if you declutter, letting go just creates a more peaceful, clean environment. I'm going to give you the top 10 takeaways from the book letting go–the pathway of surrender by Dr. David Hawkins, because the entire book has multiple chapters on letting go. I've read many parts of it, I didn't read the whole thing, because it's pretty dry. But here are some things that he talks about, that I think are so useful for us to put into action. And so letting go is really liberating. Because we release attachment to outcomes. And then surrender to the present moment, which really helps us to be present with our thoughts and our feelings. Present with the sadness. Present with the negativity, without resisting or trying to control it. Because the more we resist, it will persist. I'm sure you've heard that saying, but it's true. As opposed to just letting yourself feel the negative feelings and allow yourself to be where you are. And then once you allow yourself to be there, you can let go. And so emotional release is exactly that, processing your emotions, feeling them, and then you're without judgment, without resistance, and then you can more easily let them go. And also, how much power there is in forgiveness. So forgiving is a big way to let go, you just let go, especially if someone apologized to you, but they don't have to. You forgive in order to create peace for yourself. And I think the most important person to forgive really is yourself for any harm you may have brought upon yourself or decisions that you made that you feel like you were not in integrity with yourself or you didn't have your own back. And also just detaching from the ego. Because really, not to get too philosophical, philosophically Buddhist here, but our attachment, our ego, which is really just our sense of self. And it's not even real, the ego, or our sense of self, it's something that we create. So detaching ourselves from our ego can really help us to be so much happier and less frustrated. And really letting go to practice patience and allow things to just happen. And I find the greatest teachers of patience are my kids, in so many ways. Even something simple like at bedtime, they'll be dilly dallying, and then I find myself feeling a little nervous and anxious that they're cutting into my relaxation time after they go to bed. I want to have time to unwind before I sleep, and then I have to go to sleep at a certain time because they automatically wake up at 6:30. And then I need a certain amount of sleep and so on and so forth. And then the brain is just spinning out. But what I find so fascinating is young children really have no concept of time, they don't care, they will just do whatever. And they're fine, like they're very happy. And so it's definitely something we can think about doing more of. And I think it would make us happier if we learn to let go of some of those constructs that we create. And so here are some major ways in which we as professional moms, moms, in demanding careers, can let go. We can let go of perfectionism. Because I think that is one of the biggest, it has gotten us so far, right, in our careers. But it is really a thief of joy. So really letting things go in that sense, like letting go of the perfectionism, not trying to be perfect. Realizing that you're human and you're gonna make mistakes and especially letting go of perfectionism in parenting because we're just never going to be the perfect parents as much as we want to be and being able to fess up even and apologize to our kids. If we raise our voice or do something, maybe that's less than perfect, and we can be open and honest about that. And I think that kids do really appreciate that. And that allows them to also realize that it's okay for them to make mistakes. So another way to let go is to really let go of our guilt for maybe working too much, or having too much on our plate or whatever else it is. And just realize that we're doing the best we can. And we are the perfect parents for our kids. Like, I believe that kids choose us. And their little spirit chooses the home to be in. So that always brings me tremendous comfort. And letting go of toxic dynamics, relationships, or friendships that maybe have reached their course and are no longer serving us. I think that that is something that really lightens our mental load and can really create more simplicity for us. So by releasing toxic relationships, toxic ties, we create space for a healthier, more nourishing connection. We create space and time for new, healthier friendships and relationships. And now I'm going to give you 10 practical strategies to really learn to let go every single day. So you can use these in everyday life. And one is practicing mindfulness and really being in the present moment to get that clarity and inner peace. So that means centering yourself, or focusing on your breath when your mind is wandering, or you're perseverating on something that you know isn't healthy for you. Cultivating self compassion and forgiveness for ourselves. And also that ends up bleeding on to other people. Number three is to set clear boundaries to protect our time, energy, and emotional well being. And I've talked about this on a recent episode. So if you haven't listened to that, check it out. The next is to embrace flexibility and really release the need for control outside of ourselves. Because we don't have any control over other people and any thought that we do is just a simple delusion, we just can't, right. And really leaning into the natural flow of life. Five is to declutter physical and mental space. So letting go of unnecessary possessions. And also letting go of thoughts and beliefs that really don't help us, don't serve us. Six is to really focus on what we can control and release attachment to outcomes beyond what we can influence. Seven is to embrace imperfection, and really allow ourselves to be human. Eight is to let go and stop whining ourselves so tightly, and enjoy and celebrate everything, big and small, birthdays, holidays, progress, growth, festivities, all of that. Nine is to cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in our lives, really everything that's going well for us. Thinking about all of the dreams that we've made come true, but also on a smaller day to day level. Being able to acknowledge what we can be grateful for every day, even if it's simple, like having hot water, a roof over your head, your health. Those are all things that we take for granted. And it's important to focus on those to really help us to feel abundance, contentment, and also let go of the small stuff because the more we focus on what's going right, the more that we can let go of what's going wrong. And really the last but not least is radical acceptance. So really accepting what is and not fighting that. Embracing reality, without judgment, without resistance. And the more we can just kind of accept where we are. And I'm not saying you have to accept bad treatment or accept less from yourself than you want but just accepting that that is where you are right now. And that you're always growing, learning, and changing, and developing, and moving towards where you want to go. So letting go of fighting with what is and I know that this really allows for a deeper sense of peace and contentment. So that is this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it definitely practice one of the 10 things that I talked about and see how it will completely change your life. And if you want to dive deeper into some of this, check out my free brand new on demand masterclass. How over driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care in only five minutes a day. So the link for that is in the show notes. Check it out. I just recently redid this masterclass. It's awesome. You don't want to miss it. Take some time. It's about 35 minutes. Make sure you have time to watch it and take notes. Check it out link below in the show notes. Thank you so so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week
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Creating Balance Between the Beauty and Challenges of Working Motherhood
02/14/2024
Creating Balance Between the Beauty and Challenges of Working Motherhood
Episode 86: Creating Balance Between the Beauty and Challenges of Working Motherhood Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the very important topic of one’s relationship to motherhood and how to face the dichotomy between being a mother and balancing an identity outside of motherhood. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how self-care is not always the answer to burnout and exhaustion for working moms, despite common belief. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn to: Ditch the ‘Daily Grind Dread Cycle’ with the practices from this episode. Balance work and motherhood to find fulfillment. Combat mom guilt through practicing mindfulness, reframing perfectionism, and embracing one's humanity. Heal and grow through understanding the complexities of motherhood. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 86. Hello there. Thank you so much. I'm so glad to have you here today. Welcome to this podcast, empowering working moms real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik. I will say that February in the northeast, it's a time for realizing that spring is around the corner and the cold days are going to leave us relatively soon. We're not so much in the dead of winter anymore. And I noticed that it got dark a little bit later yesterday. So I was really pumped about that. The Long Dark days can be really kind of tough. So I'm sure you as a working mom in a demanding career, I'm guessing you've been told that self care is the absolute answer and antidote to burnout and exhaustion. But what most people never realize is that so many moms, in demanding careers are getting mani pedis, they're still exhausted. And you make the time to get the massage and it does not work. And if that happens, what is going to happen to you? What's going to happen your exhaustion? Is self care really the answer? Well, no. It's really being aware of the problem and deciding to do the work, the work to heal. Instead of bandaiding like self care. In my coaching program overcome burnout for good. I teach clients to heal from the inside out using my tools that are really backed by my experience as a medical doctor, a mom, I have my master's degree in neuroscience too. So I've used all of this background and information to develop my processes, helping so many moms to find peace of mind and balance, to ditch exhaustion and burnout once and for all. Now book a call with me , the link is in the show notes, to find out if you are someone that I can help too. And today I want to talk about really our relationship to motherhood. And I had this feeling, I had come back from a trip and I just felt thrown back in to the daily grind. And there's what I call the daily grind dread, which so many moms are trapped in where they're just dreading the day. And they get out of bed, their alarm goes off, they're dragging themselves out. And then it's work, work, work, work work, they come home. And then it's more work and more stuff to do in the to do list. And it's just totally exhausting. Now, I never feel the daily grind tread because of my processes. But I will say that when I'm not with my kids, I miss them. And they're top of mind, their safety and their well being. And when I am with them, I feel a lot of pressure to spend a lot of time with them because there's that saying that the days are long, but the years are short. And it's so true. So you know, I realized that the next thing I know, they're going to be off to college and ditching me and even before that, they're not going to want to hang out with me anymore. And this time is so so precious. And as I was ending my carefree time, and it was back to my regular scheduled programming. Meaning my job, my older one is in private school and figuring out when the deadline is for that and tuition and all these things. His camp, I think I pretty much got done, but there are a couple things lingering with that and just those kinds of things. And then also, of course, I love being with my kids. But that's what brings me to the topic of today. Which is how being a mom is the most important job that we will really ever have. And today I'm going to talk about my own personal story, which really is about how I knew I wanted to be a mother at six years old. Now that's not true for everyone. But that is true for me. My sister is actually six years younger than me. And when she was a baby, I loved caring for her. I loved having a baby sister, I would help to make her formula bottles and supplement them with iron. And I remember very vividly helping do this and even changing her diapers when I was that age and I really loved it. And I love babies. And so, from that moment, I knew I wanted to be a mom. Now it doesn't have to be that soon for people. And maybe some people don't know they want to be a mom and they get pregnant and they decide to have a baby not really knowing. But what happens is, after we have those babies we love them fiercely like no other. And that love that a mother has for her child, there is nothing like it. It is so beautiful. I'm probably gonna cry while I deliver this episode. But when I think of the day when I became a mom and I brought my older one home from the hospital and looking at him, and he was just, he was the cutest thing I've ever seen. And many of us we have a tough labor, which I felt like with both my kids, I had not the best laboring situations. And yet, if you asked me would I do it all over again, I totally would. Because I have these two magical creatures that I'm so blessed and privileged to call my children. And just looking at them, it's sometimes surreal for me that they're my kids. And actually, it's funny, they don't really look like 100%, like me or their father, they're just some mix of those DNAs mixed together, and you have them and they look like each other. So definitely, we know that they're our children, but I look at them and it's not like either of them is really a spitting image of me. And when I look at them, and they're doing things, and I just cannot believe that these are my children. And I even had a moment the other day when I was putting my daughter to bed, and we do this really long hug. And I realized, well, I always think, this is it, this is now, these are the times. And I thought to myself, wow, like, there was a time when there was nothing more than I wanted but to be a mother and it's here and it happened and that dream came true. And not everyone gets that dream so easily, right? People go through a lot to have children, and a lot of people have fertility issues. So that's all to say that on one hand, it's so moving to be a mom. Now the reason I'm telling you all of this is, there's that right? And there's the juxtaposition of how it is yes, being a mom is literally some of the most important work we will do, our job as mothers raising these people, these little humans. But at the same time, it is by far the hardest job. And it's the most important. So it makes it even more hard because we know that whatever we're doing, whatever is going on with us, whatever trauma we have, whatever stories we have, whatever triggers we have. That shapes, how we come across to them, what we're saying to them, and how we're rearing them and raising them. And so that's why it is so important for us to work on ourselves. And that's where it's not about self care. It's about having intention, and realizing that as we work on ourselves, as we heal ourselves, we're actually being better mothers. So none of that time that we take for ourselves, none of that work that we do for ourselves, because it's really for our kids too, it's not selfish. It's going to have a positive ripple effect on our children, and our whole family. And so we know that being a mom is the most important job. And yet, we want to be human beings. We want to be people besides being a mother. That identity is so crucial. It's so important for our personal fulfillment. And yes, children fulfill us in so many ways. But we also have our careers that we're managing. And that is important. Now for some of us, a career means personal fulfillment, feeling like you're really impacting the world and making money at the same time. And for some of us, it might just be making money, but either way, those are choices we make. That's something we want to do. We want to be people outside of being moms, we want to have an impact. We want to help make our child's lives better, maybe with the extra money we bring in. Or also I believe that being a professional mom, it sets an awesome example for my children that I have a career that's important to me. And my mother, she worked really hard. She worked many, many hours, and I reaped the benefits of that through she was able to pay for a lot of things. And I had a wonderful life thanks to her. But not just that. She sent an example of hard work that has really stuck with me, and it's wonderful, and I'm really grateful for that. So how do we make peace or face this dichotomy? Because there is a dichotomy. It's like on one hand, you love your kids so fiercely, you love them to death. And on the other hand, you're spread really thin and you're needing some time for yourself or you need to be a person outside of that. So how do we do this? How do we reconcile this? When we tend to feel so much mom guilt, right? Because mom guilt is something that just goes with the job. It's an inherent part of being a mother. Basically, we feel guilty that we're not doing a good enough job, we feel guilty that we're not perfect. We're not spending enough time with our kids, maybe we're doing too much work this and that. And we set ourselves up for dissatisfaction because we are striving for perfection just like we do in our jobs, just like we do in general because we're type A. And as we can really combat this mom guilt, we can practice mindfulness, and try to be in the present moment. We can really reframe, and allow ourselves to let go of perfectionism, embrace our humanity, being human, learning to apologize to our children if we make mistakes, connecting with other professional moms as well. Those are ways that we can ditch mom guilt. Now, the bottom line in all of this, and why I bring up this topic today, why am I talking about my love of being a mother, juxtaposed with the difficulty of being a working mom? The difficulty of trying to do it all and being spread relatively thin? Well, first of all, it exists. And that's why I'm talking about it today. It is there. And then how are we going to create peace in this situation? So this is what we do, we learn to be aware. We're aware that we have this dichotomy. We're aware that we have the guilt. We're aware that we want to be people outside of our children. And as we become aware, we can learn to embrace our humanity. We can learn to heal ourselves. We can get help, we can go to therapy, we can get a coach, we can learn our patterns. And as we do that, as we really practice, healing, mindfulness, all the tools, a lot of the tools that I have on this podcast actually I talk about a lot of tools. And then I have way more in depth processes inside my coaching program. But this is how we really heal from the inside out and create this next generation of healing mothers. So that we don't make the mistakes that our mothers made with us. But also, we get to enjoy our lives, we get to find peace and happiness, we get to be working, we get to be moms, and we get to be fulfilled. And we can learn to realize the mom guilt is always gonna be there but make our peace with it. Peace with the fact that motherhood is beautiful, but motherhood is hard. Motherhood is important. Motherhood can be frustrating sometimes. We can feel all of those things, they can all exist at the same time. That's the beauty. It's not black and white. It's not one way or the other. And as we acknowledge this, we get to give ourselves grace. Knowing that we're doing the best we can. We keep learning and healing and growing. And that is how we learn to connect with ourselves. But also have a better connection with our children, with our spouses, with our families, and our friends and build this life filled with love for ourselves, our families and also alignment to really live out what we want for ourselves. And by doing this, we're helping ourselves and helping our loved ones. So if you want to dive deeper into this work, book a call with me . I've helped so many moms just like you. Book a call to see if you're someone I can help too. We dive way deeper into all of this stuff inside my coaching program overcome burnout for good in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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Learn Boundaries for Work-Life Balance
02/07/2024
Learn Boundaries for Work-Life Balance
Episode 85: Learn Boundaries for Work-Life Balance Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the important topic of boundaries and how to properly establish them in order to get the most out of their benefits. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can get more work-life balance through setting boundaries for yourself. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, and relational boundaries to achieve work-life balance. the positive impact of boundaries on mental health, stress reduction, and healthier relationships through improved communication and clarity of expectations. practical implementable tools on how to implement boundaries. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 85. Hello, hello. We are now in February. I am so glad that you are listening here today. Welcome to the empowering working moms podcast. So thrilled to have you listening. And I want to keep with the theme of self love this month, I'm going to do my best to do that. And that is actually why I'm going to talk about boundaries today. And so many moms in demanding careers, they're focusing on things like self care, mani pedis, massages, trying to work out more, maybe on your peloton, do you have one? I know many of my clients do. And meditate more. Well more like downloading apps like headspace and calm and then never actually meditating. But they do these things to feel more energized, to ditch exhaustion, to ditch burnout. And these are really Band Aid solutions. They're a quick fix for a day or two. But they really don't work in the long term. There are actually five ways of doing this overcoming burnout in my coaching program overcome burnout for good. But today, I'm giving you one of my favorite ways, right now you're going to be able to practice this. You're gonna have time, energy back each week. But also you're going to be able to stop feeling guilty and show up for your family in the way that you want. Really creating deeper connections and being present for the moments that matter. And that is through boundaries. So we're going to talk a little bit about what boundaries are and the kinds of boundaries, how you can practice them. And I'm sure you already know that you probably are thinking you need to practice better boundaries, because a lot of clients coming to me saying that. So now I'm going to give you the way to actually do that. So really, boundaries are a way that creates a delineation between us and other people. They're the limits and guidelines that we create to define what is acceptable to us. So acceptable and appropriate behavior in various parts of our lives. And boundaries create a framework for healthy relationships. But really, the healthy relationship that we have with ourselves. Boundaries are so important for our own personal well being and self preservation. It is a true key to balance and work life balance. And so we've got several types of boundaries which I'm going to describe for you. Physical boundaries really just involve personal space, physical touch, protecting one's space and body. So that's why I know there's so much stuff on social media, where this generation of mothers, we're not forcing our kids to hug people anymore, because we're allowing them to have personal space and autonomy over their bodies. And I actually created this list of values with my kids for our family that I thought was fun. We have it on the fridge. And one of them is personal space and personal boundaries. And my two year old daughter, she has been saying personal space and personal boundaries for a while. And it is to help keep them from invading each other's space. But also in the future as they get older, other people's space. The next boundary is emotional boundaries, and that's really protecting our emotional well being and recognizing and respecting our own emotions along with other people's. And so this is really protecting and preserving our mental space. Or if something does not feel like a safe environment mentally, then maybe that's something to think about creating an emotional boundary for. And then there are relational boundaries, which really are in different settings, like within a family, or with your friends, or with people at work. And I know that's a tough one for a lot of moms in demanding careers, they have a tough time establishing boundaries between home and work. And that's why y'all want work life balance, right, because you want it to be better. And boundaries really have such a positive impact on mental health. So research has really shown that boundaries help with stress reduction, knowing your limits, and really being able to tell people that or avoid certain situations, prevents overwhelm, and really helps you to stay balanced. Also enhancing your self respect. Because as you maintain your boundaries, you're really respecting yourself and preserving your own sense of self and what works for you. Boundaries also foster healthier relationships, because you're going to have more clarity of expectations. You're going to decrease misunderstandings, be more clear and therefore enhance communication. And so this is just going to increase the quality of relationships that you have in interactions and connection. It's going to definitely increase your emotional well being because you're going to be able to take care of and safeguard your emotional space. And so this is truly what prevents emotional exhaustion and burnout. So this allows you to really navigate challenges with resilience. And establishing boundaries for work life balance is so important to really allow our personal time to be our personal time. And setting boundaries really helps us to feel empowered and control our lives. Because we really don't have control over anything outside of ourselves. We have no control over other people, we can only control what we do and control our response. And that is where boundaries really come in handy. And healthy boundaries really prevent codependent relationships where people are just so intertwined and rely on each other for everything for emotional validation. And being able to have boundaries, a delineation between you and other people, really helps you to be independent and have a more stable and resilient mental state. And now I'm going to dive into the actual practicality, how to implement and practice boundaries, give you some examples as well. Before I start that, I want to say that boundaries really are not something that you have to tell other people. Your boundary is really simply for you. And boundaries go like this. If this happens, then I do that. If this, then I. So if something outside of you happens, then you take action in a certain way. And that way, it really has to do with what you're doing. Not anything else. Okay. So that is the premise of a boundary. So let's say for example, at work, you have a tough time creating boundaries. If there is an extra project that you don't have time to do. So if there's an extra project and I don't have time, then I say no. You say no. If I'm at home, and it's after five, or after six, whatever, I am not going to look at my work emails. So if, then. And that way, you have these, it's almost like they're little rules for you to live by. Which most of us I think are probably rule followers. Personally, I'm actually a rebel Gretchen Rubin. I don't know if anyone's familiar with her. But she has these four tendencies. And I took the quiz twice, because I didn't believe I was a rebel. Which is ironic, because that just shows that I am a rebel. So I actually don't like to follow rules. But when it comes to boundaries, I will stick to them. Because for me, personal boundaries and being good at sticking to them, it's a skill that I've been learning and building over time. And so it's almost like, I get to show myself how I am really transforming and growing as a person. Because if you're familiar with Indian culture at all. My parents were born in India, they came here in their 20s. And I was born and raised in this country. And so in my culture boundaries really are not a thing. Everybody's up in everybody's business. There's really no delineation between family members. So this has been something I've had to learn in my later adult life. And it's been a game changer. Which is why I'm so passionate about talking about it today. So other boundaries that you can do, even certain things like with your children, for example, that's a really, really tough one. Boundaries with our own kids is tough, because the way a mom loves her children, it's so special, it's so different, and it can be so intense. And so you love your kids so much. And you just want them to be happy. And so a lot of times we will overextend ourselves for our children, which is not a problem at all. But we can also have boundaries. So for me, my boundary is, because I do some remote work, my coaching business, I work from home. And when my door is shut during the day, at night, I usually leave my door open so I can hear my kids, but during the daytime, if they're at home, and let's say my au pair is taking care of them. If my door is shut, then I am not available. And so that is my own boundary, which I don't have to tell them, but I do tell them this just so that they know. And then when they don't adhere to this, and they burst into my room, I reinforce when the door is shut, I am doing work, and I'm not available to hang out and play. So that is one example of preserving, let's say your workspace or your time, and you can even do it with your children. Now I'm going to give you a bit of an extreme example. When people are in dysfunctional relationships. And one of the spouses, let's say, has a temper problem and it's scary. And maybe they're not ready to remove themselves from the unhealthy situation, et cetera. A great boundary for that could be in your mind, you could say if he calls me a swear word again, or if he starts slamming doors, I will leave. So you don't even have to tell the other person that. But at least for you, then you have a boundary and you have a safety plan. And it's just something that you can control. Though I would recommend getting out of those kinds of situations because they usually don't improve with therapy and things like that. Although never say never because anything's possible, I suppose in this world, now isn't it. Another example that's like quite personal for me. I had my first au pair, she's wrapping up with me in about a month. And our relationship started out really well. And then I would say it kind of took a turn, maybe four months in or so. And so she's been wonderful with my children, no doubt. But when you have an au pair, sometimes you have house rules. And she does not like to follow mine. And she will tell me, oh, I would never not follow your rules, I will always respect your rules. And then she flat out doesn't. And I've caught her in a couple of white lies to me and I don't like being lied to. So that's all to say that since we're coming towards the end of our relationship, I don't really think it makes sense to have major conversations about this. And what makes more sense for me, though, to preserve my own personal energy is to have boundaries. So if you don't respect my house rules, and if you lie to me, then you won't get a certain privilege or a certain extra whatever it might be, extra demand from me. And though I actually found that really hard to put into action. Especially when you live with somebody, it can be very tricky in terms of how to deal with a person you live with. So I practiced my boundary. And what I found was it made me really uncomfortable. But what I knew was that I had inner peace, knowing that I loved myself with my boundary. I respected myself with my boundary. And I was more than comfortable. And I knew if something went down with her, for example, that I would be okay. I was going to be fine no matter what. And I'm not trying to brag I'm saying that is how I knew that I've come so far, and I'm growing so much. And so this work really means something. And it's not always easy, it is very simple. And it can change how we experience life for the better. So much more peace, so much less cognitive dissonance. And now I'm going to get into a little bit of scientific research about the benefits of boundaries. I'm not going to bore you too much. But I think it's important for us to know concrete evidence that this is why we want to learn and practice boundaries. And you know that I'm a scientist because I have my master's in neuroscience. I am a board certified internal medicine physician who still sees patients so I'm also a very science based person. A study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior investigated the relationship between boundaries, work related stress, and work life balance. And what they found was that people who actively set boundaries really ended up having a lower level of stress and higher satisfaction in their lives. Another study published in the Journal of Family Psychology showed that families with well defined and communicated boundaries experience lower levels of anxiety and stress and having better mental health outcomes. And the last study that I'll mention comes from the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, which has investigated the impact of parental boundary settings on child outcomes. And this research shows that parents who maintain consistent and appropriate boundaries contribute to lower stress levels in themselves but also in their children. So if that isn't incentive to start learning how to practice boundaries, I don't know what it is. So remember, when you're practicing boundaries, you really want to create that safety, physically and mentally for yourself. So if this happens outside of me, then I do this. And you will see, you're gonna feel so so much better. If you want to dive deeper and truly heal from the inside out, to ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care, without working out, without meditation and truly heal yourself, get that change that you've been wanting, ditch burnout, exhaustion for good book a call with me . Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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Unlocking Happiness: Mastering Mindfulness for a Fulfilling Life
01/24/2024
Unlocking Happiness: Mastering Mindfulness for a Fulfilling Life
Episode 84: Unlocking Happiness: Mastering Mindfulness for a Fulfilling Life Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the importance of cultivating presence and joy in the small and mundane moments happening in ordinary life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about strategies to realize that life is about the here and now. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: Embrace the Present Moment:- Discover the transformative power of living in the now and the importance of mindfulness. Practice Mindfulness Easily:- Practical tips on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. Find Joy in Small Moments:- Scientific insights into the impact of finding joy in everyday experiences. Practical tips for cultivating gratitude and happiness in small, ordinary moments. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You are listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 84. Well, hello there, happy winter. It has been an interesting winter here on the East Coast. There were a couple of snow days. And basically my au pair got stuck in Nashville. So I was without childcare for, I think six days or so. It was a lot. And one of the days actually, I was unable to go to work because my au pair was not around to be backup childcare for the snow day. And I ended up spending time with my kids. It was very stressful. But it actually inspired this week's episode, which is about the concept of the time is now. Like, this is your life, in this moment. These are the days of our lives. They are so so precious. And though we hate on ourselves for so many things like our bodies, and this and that. When we're ninety years old, we're going to be missing our 30 something year old 40 something year old bodies. And actually, I'm going to be honest, my kids are in the background because it's the weekend and this morning, I was gone to a workshop that I was putting on on mindfulness tools for moms who are exhausted and want to enjoy their lives and find peace of mind. And so actually, my au pair was off this weekend as well. So she couldn't help me. And so I had a babysitter come and then I came home, I spent some time with my kids. And I decided it was time to record this podcast episode. But now I'm actually thinking, Well, I wanted to avoid screen time. So I have them in my room playing but I'm realizing it is too much noise probably. So I am going to break down and put them in front of a screen because that's usually the only way to keep them quiet. So hold on. I'll be right back. All right now we're back. I put on Disney plus for them. And I'm very anti screentime. And I tried to not have my children watch TV at all costs. And so anyway, I digress. But okay, we're back. And it's just adults here. It's our little safe space right now. And I'm going to go ahead and record this before anything happens. So the moment is now. These are the special moments. And it dawned on me that this is the case when it was a snow day. And I'm sitting at the breakfast table with my children. And I'm stressed about how am I going to get to work like, what am I going to do? How am I going to entertain them? Or can I find some childcare? And I was putting on some music. And they both started laughing. And we were all doing these hand motions in the air. And it was just kind of cute and funny. And we're all laughing. And there was just this moment. And in my mind, I just thought to myself, This is it. This is the magic. And it's right here, right now. Which is also just kind of a mindfulness piece in practice, like it's right here right now. And I get to be there. And I have this privilege to be here right now and spend time with them. And they're so little and yeah, they follow me around and I can't even go to the bathroom without having them in tow. And that can be really exasperating. But at the same time, I know that someday they're going to be busy with their friends, they're going to be teenagers, and I'm going to miss this time. So the time is now because there are moments right now that might be annoying you but one year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now you're going to miss it. And so we also just catch ourselves in the past or the future. That's what we're caught up with. And we're just neglecting what's right in front of us the present moment and the power of right now, right. And that's what really dawned on me during just a mundane breakfast with my kids. But it's in the mundaneness that there's so much magic and I really loved sitting with them and being goofy and it was fun. And those are the moments I'm gonna remember on my deathbed, not being stressed out about whatever, day to day stuff, the day to day grind. And another way to really realize how it's right now, this is life, is that we have journeys. Well life is a journey. And it has very distinct phases with different experiences. And there is beauty in every single stage. Even if there is pain. There's always something positive that can come out of negativity. I remember even a couple years ago, gosh, it's gonna be actually close to four years ago now. That's so crazy to think about, but four years ago was when I moved for my spouse's job, and I left my full time job. And it was just such a weird time because we were in the middle of COVID and I actually had gotten pregnant too. But leaving my full time career as a physician in a practice, shout out to first docs. But my practice is so great, and it's the job I've been at since residency, and they've always treated me really well. And there's some flexibility and it's just a great practice to work for. And so I was leaving that full time job, really not knowing what I was going to do and it was really tough. And that was actually what opened up time to pursue my coaching business. And even having the creativity and the time to do this podcast and things like that. And so what seemed like such a horrible thing at the time, leaving the only job I had known full time at the time, and not knowing what I was doing next really gave me time to reflect. So no matter where we are, and that's kind of not so dark of a thing, but even darker things. There's always some lesson there that challenges bring us and something we can learn. And we can really embrace what happens. So we can embrace the current moment. And the way to really do this is through learning how to be mindful. And this morning, I spoke to a local group of women about mindfulness practices and tools that they could use in stressful moments. And the thing about mindfulness is, it's not meant only for dealing with stress and anxiety. But it's also meant to bring you to the current moment and one of the most useful tools, saying to yourself here and now, can really help you. As you inhale, you say here, as you exhale, you say now. And doing that as you're breathing can really tether you to the current moment and take you away from the narrative, the story that's going on in your head. Bring you back to the now, which is really the main life that we're living is right now. And take you away from obsessing over your to do list, the grocery list, et cetera. So try the here and now mindfulness exercise and see how it goes for you. You can use it when you're feeling stressed. But it's also really helpful if you are just wanting to bring yourself in. And I actually used it right before this episode when I was trying to structure the rest of the day and thinking about hmm, how am I going to record my podcast with the kids home, and I don't want to do it after they go to bed because I'm gonna be too tired, and so on and so forth. And I was doing special time with my kids. And I said to myself, here and now and that brought me in to the present moment. Remembering to cultivate presence and joy in small, mundane moments happening in ordinary life can profoundly impact our well being. And scientific studies have actually shown this, that finding joy in these moments can make us happier. Whether it is savoring a cup of coffee in the morning, enjoying or marveling at the sunset, enjoying the sunshine on your face, enjoying your surroundings, enjoying laughs with your children, embracing a friend or a spouse and really soaking that in. Because we just never know how long we have on this earth or even how long we have with other people. And also practicing gratitude. And so that brings me to some tips you can use to really realize that life is now, these are the moments of our lives. These are the best moments of our lives, even if sometimes we're going through some hard stuff, because life can be tough. And no matter what comes our way, we can learn to have moments of joy and presence. Even if we've got grief in the background or dysfunction with family members in the background or arguments with somebody in the background, you're having a falling out with your old best friend in the background or a divorce in the background. There are so many other serious things that can go on, they can happen. But you can still cultivate peace of mind and joy, I promise. So some tips to do this. One is to really practice gratitude. And I've mentioned this before in different contexts. But this is a known happiness factor or hack. I know that it makes people happier, because it just trains your brain to see the glass half full. So for yourself thinking of brainstorming five things to be grateful for every morning. Or when you're in the shower. You can cultivate a gratitude practice with your children. If you're into journaling, you could practice gratitude that way. People have a gratitude jar. I think Jay Shetty had mentioned this on his podcast or somewhere, create a jar and name one thing you're grateful for every week. And then at the end of the year, you have 50 things you can reflect on, which is kind of cool. Practicing the mindfulness that we talked about. Maybe using here and now and just bringing yourself into the present moment as you breathe. Engaging your senses in any given experience. So if you're in a room with wonderful people at an event, let's say. Just marveling at the space, the room or their paintings on the wall, really seeing everything seeing the people looking at their expressions, what are they wearing? Or what are you hearing? Are you talking to someone Are you really listening? And maybe just listening without having a response and just soaking that in. Really cultivating those listening skills, that really creates presence and realizing this is my life right here, right now, this is what's happening. The senses, can you smell anything? What about tactile? Is there a feeling like maybe you're sitting on a really comfortable couch? Or did you shake hands with somebody, notice when you're shaking their hand. Or a hug. And we went over seeing, listening, smelling, touching, tasting. If you're eating food, really notice what you're tasting, and try to focus on that instead of letting your mind wander off. So the senses are a great way to make yourself present. Because if you focus on your senses, you're observing what's happening right now, instead of letting your brain wander to the past or the future. And that is really how we can be present. And I also think over planning for years and years in advance, maybe shying away from doing that, like making plans years in advance, because. I don't mean financial planning, I just more mean like vacations and things like that, because things happen. COVID happens, world catastrophes happen, environmental things happen. Somebody actually today that I met this morning was telling me that she and her husband are considering canceling their trip to Iceland because there were volcanoes erupting. And so it's just always stuff. So if you just try to live day by day, shorter periods of time to really live in the present moment, that is the best. And that's actually why Al Anon and I believe AA too, they talk about one day at a time. And I will tell you, if you're living with someone who has an addiction to any substance, including alcohol, it can be very, very difficult to practice loving detachment, which is really the premise of Al Anon. And it's detaching yourself with love. so that you're able to create your own peace and happiness in spite of what might be going on with the chaos of addiction. And I really do believe most people out there have some relation to addiction in the sense that they must have a family member that struggles with addiction in their family. There has to be because it's much more common than we think. But the premise there of one hour at a time, one day at a time. It's used in the sense that I believe for alcoholics, they do one day at a time that they have to be sober. So that it's not so daunting that they feel like they have to be sober for a lifetime, because that can be very overwhelming. So the idea that one hour at a time, one day at a time, in terms of coping with addiction. But also you can use that same premise for let me just be here in the present moment, right now. Because this is my life as I know it. Like this is what's happening one hour at a time, one day at a time. These are the moments. And we're not going to love every single moment. But often we can find joy in the more annoying moments. And I'll give an example. I'm not particularly a morning person. I don't love waking up at 6am, let's say. But on the mornings where I am in a rush and getting my kids out the door, dropping them to school and then going to work. I'm able to find joy throughout that process. And that process, like the process of the daily grind, that's not my favorite thing to do. But I can wake up I can set an intention for the day. That creates presence for me and pause. Then I see my son and I give him a really long hug and I savor that. I savor hugging my daughter because she's still in her twos, but she'll be three in the spring and so she's still kind of a baby to me. So I savor the babyishness. Then we get the brushing teeth on which is not that fun. And then it's breakfast time, which is okay. But during breakfast, we may engage with each other, make jokes, I enjoy that. Then let's say on the ride to school, maybe I'm tired, but I'll play music and we'll be enjoying the music. And then I say goodbye to each kid. And I savor that moment. I think transition moments are really important to connect with our children. But the point is, though, those are not my favorite hours of the day and time when I'm in a rush in the morning and kind of ushering my children. I still am able to create pockets of joy throughout that process. So in the present moment, and so that is what I want to bring to your attention today. To really be able to live in the moment. To be able to cultivate joy and appreciate what's happening right now. Even if you're not in a good mood. Even if it's an annoying task. Is there joy at any point? Because I bet you there will be. And even when we feel pain, and we're sad, and we cry. Most of the time. It's not like we're crying nonstop. You rarely will cry nonstop for 24 hours, right? There has to be a break in there where you feel some relief because you experienced the catharsis of tears. So my point is even pain, we perceive it as longer than it actually is. Which is why we'll always say, oh, it's been a long day, because our perception of the day is long, because maybe it wasn't the most fun day. But our perception is not reality. The reality is, the crappy moments, were probably fewer and far between. I'm not talking with a big tragedy, I'm just talking about an annoying day. So maybe we had some few and far between bad moments, but our brains we decide to perseverate on the negative. Because that's what we do. That is our tendency as human beings. We tend to focus on the negative. We scan the environment for threats, and then we tend to perseverate because we're no longer foraging in the forest. But our fight or flight mode gets activated. And we're in there perseverating on the negative so we can problem solve. When we really most of the time these days, you don't need to. So if you can just be aware of the fact that we do have the negativity bias. Be aware of the fact that life is now. It's right now, in this moment, when you're listening this podcast. Maybe you're enjoying your drive, maybe you're on a walk or a run. You can get that fresh air perhaps. And this is it. Here and now. So remember that. When you're having those joyous moments, bring yourself in say to yourself here and now, soak it in. Because this is it baby. These are the moments of our lives. And as you continue to practice this, you are going to cultivate so much joy and peace of mind. So if you like this and you want to dive deeper into this work book a call with me . I would love to work with you. I work with professional moms to help them ditch exhaustion, ditch their stress, anxiety and really enjoy their lives and cultivate peace of mind no matter what in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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Finding Fulfillment Beyond Overachievement: Embracing Stillness in Motherhood
01/17/2024
Finding Fulfillment Beyond Overachievement: Embracing Stillness in Motherhood
Episode 83: Finding Fulfillment Beyond Overachievement: Embracing Stillness in Motherhood Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about finding peace and enjoyment through taking time to be intentionally quiet and still. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about practical strategies on how to cultivate stillness, as well as how it can greatly benefit you and contribute to better well-being. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: The Power of Stillness: Discover how incorporating moments of quiet and stillness into your busy life can be a transformative practice, leading to enhanced self-reflection and a deeper alignment. Breaking the Overachievement Cycle: Understand the detrimental effects of constantly filling every moment with tasks and activities, leading to burnout and stress, and learn practical strategies to escape the 'Fill All My Time for Fulfillment' trap. Cultivating Inner Peace: Explore practical and manageable techniques, such as slowing down, spending time alone, connecting with nature, and going technology-free, to bring more peace, joy, and fulfillment into your daily life. Personal Growth Through Stillness: Hear a personal journey that illustrates how moments of stillness and reflection can lead to clarity, self-confidence, and positive life changes, providing inspiration for your own breakthrough. Benefits Beyond Stress Reduction: Recognize that embracing stillness not only reduces stress but also improves relationships, and allows for a more intentional and enjoyable existence. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 83. Hello there, everyone. Thank you so much for listening today to this week's podcast episode. I have to be honest, it is getting dark so early now. It's such a bummer. So over it. And I'm not a fan of the cold weather either. I think I'm a little in the middle of winter blues, I don't know. But it just stinks because the day ends so early, and you almost feel more tired when it's dark out earlier. But I digress. I know that you're probably an over driven career mom, right. And so that's why you're here listening to empowering working moms. And I know what it's like to be in your shoes. I'm an internal medicine physician, I do life coaching as well. But becoming a mom when I was working full time was totally overloading me. And it made my anxiety so much worse. And so that's really what started me on this journey, which really started with self care and meditation. But then over the past several years, it's just gotten so much deeper than that. Really doing investigative work on myself and healing myself from the inside out. Doing the work required to really feel like I have my own inner compass and feel solidified in myself and learn to cultivate peace of mind every single day, no matter what is going on around me. And that is what I teach my clients to do to really find peace of mind and enjoy their lives once and for all. And if you're curious about this, check out my free on demand masterclass four steps to overcoming burnout and overwhelm, the link's in the show notes. You don't want to miss it. And so you're probably making plans for fun when you're not working right, because you need something to look forward to. But the thing is, these plans just cause you to feel more tired and overwhelmed. You don't get a sense of peace or rest. And it's frustrating because on paper, you have everything you worked so hard for personally and professionally. And this means you're trying to pack in more fun or over scheduling with minimal downtime to make the most of your time off to rejuvenate yourself, but you end up exhausted. And this is the fill all my time for fulfillment trap. That's what I call it. You're wanting to make the most of your time to be doing your best in all aspects of your life, work and play. And this comes from a drive to achieve from a really young age. But what this does in adulthood, this results in over achieving and leaves us super busy but not fulfilled. And even darker, it can leave us feeling empty and then cue the exhaustion and burnout. So what do you do instead of this. And this is what today's podcast episode is all about. You find time to be quiet and to be still. So overachieving moms, they find themselves trapped in this whirlwind of constant activity. The pressure to succeed, not just professionally, but personally too. And it is this pressure that really leads them to fill every single moment of their day. This need to take every opportunity to prove their worth, their ability. It just creates this over busy overfilled but not fulfilling life where you're just multitasking all the time. This plays out in saying yes to projects at work that maybe are extra or volunteering at the school on certain committees or in the PTA. Or volunteering to host a book club or other gatherings. And this is in addition to working, right. And then on weekends, you've got the kids activities, or maybe some trips or other events that you've signed up for and there's just not a moment to breathe. And then women are finding themselves depleted on a day to day basis just dreading the day. And we know that that's just no way to live. Because why are we busting our asses at work and at home all to find ourselves not happy, trapped in the daily grind dread. So burnout, stress, and exhaustion are something that they're there all the time and it's just a tough cycle to break. So some of the deeper implications of this constant hustle is really detrimental to our mental and emotional well being. So not being still can really lead to this sense of disconnection from yourself. Which is the worst disconnection of all because when you're disconnected for yourself, you don't feel stable in yourself. And you're constantly looking for answers and validation outside of yourself. Which is the worst thing because we cannot control what other people think of us or what input they're gonna give us. And what's much better and can leave us feeling more peaceful and whole is to really find connection with ourselves. And this is through the stillness. And when we're not still each day is bleeding into the next. We're obsessed with the to do list, daily chores like the dishes, keeping a neat and tidy kitchen, trying to buy more clear containers to organize everything, the kids toys, all this nesting behavior. And I think Instagram makes this so much worse. And I'm laughing because I'm totally guilty of this. I have my own kind of stuff surrounding cleanliness and neatness, tidiness, organization, which I'm not going to get into in this episode. But I definitely subscribe to some of these things as well, all the clear containers in my house. And also I do cleanse and purge all the clutter and whatnot. And I do quarterly donations just to make sure that things don't pile up. But I digress. Because the point of that is we're obsessing over that. And we're trying to keep it all together, and then you're left feeling drained. So you might be thinking, why do I keep harping on quiet and stillness as the solution to this. So here we go. Stillness offers a space for self reflection, and we can really begin to get in touch with ourselves, our values, our priorities, because half the time we just don't have the time or space to stop and think about it. Because all we need is a little bit of thought and intentionality to our lives.And that really is a key component to finding peace and enjoyment. So I will tell you my own personal tale, when I moved for my partner's job, I had an opportunity to be out of the daily grind dread for a while. And it was with that time that I was not working full time. So many things became clear to me. All these things about my life, I had not really given any time or thought to. I was in survival mode. I was able to get clarity and really build my own sense of inner compass, my self confidence, and love myself. And I made so many moves, like big changes in my life in a short period of time to get my life on a way better path. And without that time, without that reflection, I'm telling you right now, I would still be stuck where I was. So that's great, right? I'm telling you about stillness. And now you're thinking, well, how am I going to do this. So I'm going to give you some practical strategies to implement and put into practice in order to really cultivate stillness. And I know your life is busy. And I'm not saying that you have to sit and meditate or spend a ton of time on this. But with a little bit of intention and the determination to make some changes in your life, you can practice these techniques, and you will see that you're going to have so much more peace and enjoy your life. So here we go. Slow down, in general. And this has come up for me because 2024, I decided that I wanted to cultivate more patience. Patience has not been a part of my DNA for a really long time, which is kind of funny because I became a physician, which is a really long path. And I guess you do have to be patient in it. But it's almost like you're so busy first trying to get into med school and studying all the time. And then studying and studying some more and cramming all the stuff in, that there is no room to be impatient. Because you're just like going going, going to try and achieve your goal. So patience. And the reason I decided to really dive into patience as one of my intentions for 2024 is I just knew I need to slow down. Because when you slow down, that is when you have the time and space to actually open up your mind and accept or have new ideas come to you that you normally wouldn't. Because there's just no space for it. The monkey mind has 60,000 thoughts a day. And so if we don't sit still to notice those thoughts, then we're not going to be able to really live our life in integrity with how we want to live. And instead, we're going to be on the hamster wheel like Groundhog's Day, same day, day in and day out. And that is not fun. And I know that's not how you want to live. So just cultivating some patience, slowing down and reminding yourself to not be in a rush. Now the other thing to do to create some stillness is to spend some time alone. And I know that might be daunting for some of you. Maybe you're married you have children and that's really hard to do. I get it. But you can literally start by sitting quietly for a few minutes every day. That's it. That's literally it. You just sit for a couple of minutes every single day, sit quietly. And you will see how many thoughts come and go. And you can just open yourself up up to whatever your brain might want to think. And sit there. So start with that. And then in terms of spending time alone and cultivating stillness, spend more time by yourself. It could be taking yourself out to eat, it could be doing an overnight trip. And Dr. Bonnie Koo and I talked about this, spending time alone. And it's so good to just get away from all of the stimulus and all of the day to day stuff to really open yourself up to ideas and inspiration. And creativity is something that we really end up squashing in this modern day life. And then if you really get brave, you could take like a quick trip by yourself, completely alone. And that can be amazing too. And the more you learn to be alone and spend some time alone. Not just the fact that you got your brain and space opened up to new and fresh ideas. But also, this is how you really learn to love yourself and being in your own company. And when you do that you can get comfortable with yourself. And then you can stop hanging out with people who maybe make you feel uncomfortable. Because a lot of times we end up hanging out with people we really don't want to hang out with. And it's just a waste of time. Having kids and being a professional, free time is so precious that if you end up having, let's say, a trip or something, or even a dinner with a bunch of people, and you don't find it refreshing and rejuvenating, there's no point in continuing hanging out with that person or them. It's really that simple. And I know maybe that sounds harsh to you, but really standing guard and being tight about who we spend our time with. And opening up to even spending time alone, because it's better to be alone than be around the wrong people. The next thing to do is to stop jam packing everything in all the time and be able to just say to yourself, no, this is too much. I'm not doing all this. And I have played around with this a lot in my life, because I tend to be a really social person. But I'm also a mother, I also have two different careers. And so I'm definitely spread thin, that's a fact. But I have noticed that I will bite off more than I can chew. So I really take time to be mindful of how stressful it might be for me to schedule certain social things, etc. So not jam packing, giving yourself free space, free time, free Saturday nights, for example, and not trying to fill them with a million things to do. Also getting in touch with nature. Or just taking a walk outside, getting some fresh air. Yeah, you're moving. But that really does cultivate peace and stillness. The next strategy I'm going to give you and I know this cannot be new to you. But it's really going technology free. So having time without your phone. Putting your phone away for certain amounts of time, especially when you're having family time or time with people that you really want to connect with, putting your phone away. Especially with your children and really connecting with them. And another way to do this when you're alone, and I found this really useful is, I just started this new hobby actually. After my kids go to bed, I'll do puzzles. And I never really used to like puzzles. But what I really love about puzzles is that they're somewhat challenging. It's a visual thing. But also my hands have to put the puzzle together. So you can't be scrolling on social media and doing a puzzle at the same time. Or even doing some sort of adult coloring or paint by numbers. It's great to just do those kinds of things to maybe activate other areas of our brain and cultivate some creativity. And that can just create inner peace, stillness, and happiness and joy as well. Another way to be still or even just giving you an example of what this looks like, I'll give an example from today actually. I was speaking to my landlord, and he's really annoying. Basically, he gives me a tough time for any repair that has to happen in this house. And it always makes me feel anxious. And I had gotten off the phone with him. And I felt really exasperated and then my five year old was asking me to play something with him. So I literally said, this was slowing down, getting still. I said I need a moment. I'm feeling exasperated. I sat on the couch in front of my son, I closed my eyes. And I just did a little bit of kind of an impromptu box breathing, which is basically like inhaling to seven or eight, holding for the same and then exhaling for seven or eight counts. And then holding for that amount. It was a little modified. But I was taking long, deep breaths and I closed my eyes. And then he kept talking to me and I said I'm not done yet, like I will be with you shortly. But it was a way to just regulate myself. Turn into myself. Manage some of that anxiety that was coming up. And also giving my children tools as well. And I teach them these tools but when they see me doing it, then it's an example for them of how they can deal with their negative thoughts and emotions. So if you get comfortable with sitting still, you're going to become more aware of your triggers or what's going on in In your head, and you will decrease your suffering by slowing down and actually deciding how you want to react instead of having a reflex that maybe you don't want to have. So that was the stillness in action. So you can see how it's so helpful. And here's some other benefits of stillness. Besides reducing stress, it really creates deeper fulfillment for ourselves personally and professionally. And stillness in relationships, we can connect better with our family and our friends. And really, there's just so much good that can come from stillness. We can get clarity on what's important to us, what we really want. We can slow down and not have our brains taking over and making us feel anxious or stressed. We can slow down to enjoy our lives. We can slow down and not jam pack our schedules and actually have some room to breathe, have some space and enjoy that life that we've worked so hard for. So the constant pursuit of success and doing our best everywhere and being a perfectionist can really lead to burnout and stress and scheduling time for ourselves, having some mindfulness practice, integrating some stillness into our busy lives is really a way to cultivate inner fulfillment, inner peace, and joy. So stillness is an investment in our success personally and professionally. And actually, one more tip that I forgot to mention today is gratitude practice. So when we're grateful we can take a minute to be still. It helps us to really see the glass half full and we can cultivate that peace of mind and joy. Now that concludes my tips and my episode on stillness. And really try any or all of the strategies that we talked about today. See how it goes. Let me know. If you really want to find presence, be centered, enjoy your life, live in alignment, live out your dreams, book a call with me . I would love to speak with you. The link is in the show notes and I'm so grateful that you tuned in today. I will talk to you next week.
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Navigating Tough Days: Strategies for Over-Driven Career Moms
01/10/2024
Navigating Tough Days: Strategies for Over-Driven Career Moms
Episode 82: Navigating Tough Days: Strategies for Over-Driven Career Moms Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses strategies on how to effectively deal with a bad mood and how to cope with adverse situations. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can overcome the difficult days in order to create peace of mind. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: How to have bad days and even enjoy them. To acknowledge your feelings, remember that tough moments pass, and practice mindfulness to navigate through bad days effectively. Steps to deal with negative thoughts and feelings. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 82. Well, hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. And again, happy, happy New Year. I'm still feeling the rejuvenation of the fresh start of the new year. That's not to say that you should put any added pressure on yourself. And I especially don't like resolutions. But I do love the idea of a fresh start. Of course, you can have a fresh start at any given moment, exactly when you decide to. So just keep that in mind. But I'm going to get into today's podcast episode, which is really about being in a bad mood and having a bad day, which totally happens, right. And figuring out how to be with what's actually happening, that is really so much of the work that I do inside my coaching program where I help really over driven moms to ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all in 90 days or less. And if you want to find out more, definitely check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelmed to get your peace of mind back. So I'm gonna dive in to how to deal with a bad mood. And it happens. And I call this real talk because I want to talk about the real deal and not sugar coat. And we all have bad days, because life is really 50% good and 50% bad. And yet somehow so many of us are conditioned to believe that life is supposed to be great and wonderful all the time. But it's really how we cope with the adversity or the situations that come up that are not the best. We can learn how to deal with them, we can learn how to be present with our negative emotions. And that is how we cultivate peace of mind. And that is how we enjoy our lives in spite of having not a great day. So this episode was actually inspired by my own personal experience. When we take call, we take phone calls at night. And this is just a normal part of medicine where you're on call, you get called in the middle of the night. And for me personally, I need a lot of sleep. I've always been like that. And disruptions in my sleep, definitely I'm not in the best mood when that happens. So I woke up feeling very unrested and I went to work. And then I was getting nonstop phone calls for various things. It was back to back phone calls, like I would be answering one call and then getting called on another line and then getting paged again. And it was just a lot. And so I was not enjoying that, of course. And then I'm going to see patients and I step in a patient's urine, which that was really gross. And it was just one of those days. Like, you know, you have those days where you wake up. And there's the saying getting up on the wrong side of the bed. And I was having that kind of a day. And it was funny because I was talking to a nurse and she was telling me oh my god, this is a horrible day. And I said, yeah, totally. I'm not having a good day. And even actually, when people would ask me, how's it going? How are you? And I would say not great, but it's okay, it's gonna pass. I'm not having the best day, but it's not gonna last forever. And it's totally fine. And by keeping that in mind, having a lens of this too shall pass. It helped me to not get so sucked into the story that this day is bad. Because the more you say that to yourself, the more you're going to believe it. And the more you're going to feel that way. As opposed to having a mindset of this is going to pass, this is not going to last forever. And yeah, it's a bad day because life's not perfect. So that is what I did. And today I'm going to teach you how to cope with a bad day. And here is what most people do. They have one bad thing happen. And then they think that it's going to ruin the whole day, the whole day is going to be crappy or unenjoyable. And often this is compounded by the fact that so many of us, whether we're working hard in our careers or at home, we're always putting the needs of others in front of ourselves. And all the hard work you're doing is often more based on other people's needs than on your own. And so when you're doing that you're putting everyone else's needs ahead of yours. On a bad day, when really that's a day to be gentle with yourself and care for yourself. You are putting the needs of other people instead of your own and that just makes things worse. And here's what happens when you do that. Even though you've got the picture perfect life, maybe on Instagram or to other people. It feels like you're drowning on the inside. And in fact, the alarm goes off, you wake up with dread thinking about the 1000 things you have to do for everyone else. You usually come last throughout the day. And you just wish you had a little bit of time for yourself. And then the bad day is getting worse, because you've got so much to do, and you're not giving yourself any care or compassion. Now, there are 20 ways of dealing with a bad day and tips that work. But I'm gonna give you my favorite ways right now, I don't want to overwhelm you with too much information, but you're gonna have the ability to really turn around the bad day through the following steps. So tip number one is to really acknowledge your feelings. When you realize that you're having a bad day, it's okay to not be okay. And just take a moment to be with that and validate for yourself that it's okay. You don't have to beat yourself out of a bad day on one hand, but you also don't have to play into it. Which leads me to tip number two, remembering that this too shall pass, you've had bad days before. And you can have a fresh start at any given moment. So for me the other day, when I stepped in the patient's urine, I felt really aggravated, and I was already kind of cranky. And so I put on some gloves and grabbed wipes to wipe down my sneakers. And after I did that I decided it was time to have a fresh start for the day. So you can decide to have a fresh start on your bad day. So first, you can acknowledge and then you can also decide to have a do over with your own mood. Now another thing that's really helpful on a bad day is just to practice mindfulness. And I just find focusing on my breath, focusing on the inhale and then focusing on the exhale. That is really helpful to just get myself out of my own story that I am having a bad day. And another tip that's helpful is to really delegate tasks if you're feeling overwhelmed. And get your workload off you whether it's at work or at home. You can get help with things and people are often very ready and willing to help more than you think if you ask. Also another thing to do on a bad day is to find some way to exercise. It doesn't have to be super rigorous. But if you're walking to work, you could park your car really far away. As long as it's not like an icy day and it's safe to walk. You could walk, you can take the stairs, you can do a quick workout. Something I do when I really know exercising is for the better for me, for a better mindset, better mental health. I will hop on my peloton for a quick workout, either 15 minutes or 20 minutes because it is better than nothing and it makes me feel better. The next thing to do on a bad day is to really be gentle with yourself and be kind to yourself. You should do this in general. But when you're having a bad day, if you find yourself speaking negatively to yourself, having some negative self talk, really stop yourself in your tracks. And don't let yourself go any further. We really have to learn to be kind to ourselves. Especially when we're not feeling great. Also connecting with those that we care about or loved ones. I think that is one of the most wonderful ways to really feel grounded, to feel connected and connected to other people, feel like we're not alone. And that can definitely pep up a bad day, having a laugh with a friend. The next thing I'm going to tell you to do, which is a great tip. And I think this is just great in general is to practice gratitude. To really take a moment to reflect on what is working in your life. It can be as simple as having a roof over your head or appreciating. I love my space heaters in my house. They keep me so warm when it's cold. I can be grateful for that or a nice hot shower. You can listen to music that gets you jazzed up. Or you can just take a moment to breathe, be with yourself, sit quietly and know that this moment is going to pass. And when you're really feeling terrible, something that's really helpful is to put your hand on your chest and really say to yourself I am okay, I am safe, everything is okay. And remember that this bad day is not going to last forever. This too shall pass. I have been through bad days before and I will see another day that's a great day, if not this one. And what I found from my recent quote unquote bad day was that the beginning of the day wasn't the best. And I stepped in that patient's urine and I was getting called nonstop. And I just felt like I didn't have a lot of space to breathe in that very, very busy morning. But by the end of the day, I had used some of these tools. I'd practiced some of these tools, I practiced the mindfulness, I called a friend and I found that the bad day really just faded away. And it was true, it really did pass. So try at least one of these tips when you're having a bad day. Check out the show notes so you can refer to it when you need in the future. See how it goes and let me know, you can find me on Instagram @DrPrianca and I've helped so many moms who are over driven career moms to ditch burnout and exhaustion for good in 90 days or less. Hop on a call with me to see if you are someone that I can help too . The link is in the show notes. Thanks for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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Mastering Balance: Mindful Living for Career-Driven Moms
01/03/2024
Mastering Balance: Mindful Living for Career-Driven Moms
Episode 81: Mastering Balance: Mindful Living for Career-Driven Moms Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how to find peace of mind, balance, and presence through the use of mindfulness practices. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can implement these streamlined mindfulness practices in order to gain both physical and psychological benefits that will greatly improve your quality of life. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: The physical and mental benefits of mindfulness practice. How to practice mindfulness in only a minute. Tools to deal with stress and anxiety. To be present for the moments that matter the most. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 81. Well hello. It is the New Year. Happy, Happy New Year. It's actually New Year's Eve when I'm recording this. But I know when you're listening, we're going to be in the year 2024. And what a fun time to have fresh starts. I’m not really into resolutions, I feel like they don't work. But I do like a reflection of the past year and really just setting an intention for the new year. So I hope you take time to listen to episode number 77, where I talk about reflecting on the previous year and creating power goals for the following year. So check out that episode if you haven't, to really get yourself off on the right foot for this new year. And moms in demanding careers just like you, I know you've worked so hard. So you want to enjoy your life. And you've worked so hard. And you just don't want to have to worry about just the mundane things like planning and getting organized for family stuff, and even work stuff. And it just becomes so much all the time. And the problem is that so many of you out there are creating hyper organized to do lists and creating systems. This might help temporarily, but really, nothing ever changes. And you're not realizing that it's about learning to be present for the moments that matter. And that's what you want. So how do you find peace of mind and joy? Well, you can try therapy, yoga, self help books. Or, the three N method, which is one of my own personal methods to cultivate presence and mindfulness. And I talked about that in an earlier podcast episode. So check that out episode number 61. But when it comes to those solutions, how are you going to find the right therapist or find the right yoga studio or how long is it going to take to get yourself to yoga? Well, you can find peace of mind with the mindfulness practices that I talk about because of the ease. And also it doesn't require much time at all. And when most people think about mindfulness practices, they really believe that they have to meditate for hours and hours. And that takes so much time. And this is not true. And even though it seems like it might take a lot of work to find mindfulness and presence, it doesn't. And why? Because what I talked about is really a streamlined implementable process. So how do you find peace of mind, balance, and presence? Well, let me show you in this episode. And if you really want to dive more deeply into some of these topics, check out my free masterclass on demand, four steps to overcoming burnout, overwhelm, and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back. The link is in the show notes. So I'm gonna dive in today to really learning how to practice mindfulness. So, so many women are wanting to be mindful, wanting to be present, to be present with their kids, instead of having their minds wander on the to do list, the grocery list, dinner planning. And they then download meditation apps like headspace, which actually I really like or calm. And that's been all the rage, it has been touted as the end all be all for peace of mind and work life balance. But often meditating every single day just is not manageable for most moms with busy schedules. So no matter how many time management techniques you've used, and you're putting everything on your calendar, you still cannot get everything on your list done. But you continue to run into all of this, that you've made it in your career, you daydream about being with your kids. But then when you're with your kids, you're thinking about work, and you are never present in your life because you're constantly flip flopping between both. And of course, as you can imagine, when this is happening, you're lacking presence, you are neither here nor there. And you're just all over the place in your brain. And the problem with this is it is just exhausting and draining. And this is what leads to burnout. So I want to talk a little bit about the benefits of mindfulness. And then I'm going to give you actionable tips to practice mindfulness and really get that presence and pause. So some physical benefits of mindfulness is it creates stress reduction, which really has been shown to lower the production of cortisol, which is a stress hormone. So if you lower cortisol, you're gonna lower the overall stress levels in your body and you're gonna feel better. Now as you know, I am an internal medicine physician. So when it comes to talking about medicine, or hormones, I am highly trained in this. And also you get better sleep quality because mindfulness practice trains your brain to not only focus better, but also it promotes a little bit of relaxation. It's going to reduce your mental chatter. And that really helps in falling asleep. And so I always do a relaxation technique starting from my toes up to my head. And as I relax each segment of my body, I usually fall asleep before I can reach my head, it's really helpful. And then also mindfulness is going to enhance the immune system. So there was a study published in 2012, that showed that the effects of mindfulness based stress reduction, the participants underwent an eight week MBSR Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program. And they found that the expression of pro inflammatory genes were reduced in individuals who were practicing the mindfulness. So this right there shows you that you're going to have less inflammation, right, and it's better for your physical health if you can practice mindfulness. It is also helpful in managing chronic pain conditions. And it helps you really hone in on your mind and your body. And you're not as overtaken with what you're feeling, including pain. And of course, deep breathing, and really learning mindfulness is linked to lower blood pressure. And then you're gonna have improved cardiovascular health. And in terms of mental wellness and mental health benefits, mindfulness is known to be an amazing stress and anxiety reducer. It really helps people become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, get distance from those thoughts and feelings. That way the stories in our head, and our feelings don't overtake us as much. And when we can get a little bit of distance from what our brain is doing, this really decreases our suffering. It helps us respond to stressors in a calmer, gentler way. And it also helps with emotional regulation. So really being able to notice the feelings that come up, and feelings are often just a vibration in our bodies. So squeezing in my throat for me, I really feel a lot of my tension in my throat if I feel anxious or stressed. And when I noticed that I can just say, oh, I have some anxiety coming up. That's all it is. And I don't have to be as freaked out as I would have been five to 10 years ago, before I started practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness also helps focus and concentration. So you're gonna have better cognitive performance on tasks, which is awesome. It's associated with improved memory, and really just an overall enhanced sense of well being life satisfaction and learning to be in the moment so that your life doesn't pass you by. So instead of being really busy, not taking a moment to be mindful and missing out on what's important, here's what you do instead. So I'm going to give you four methodologies to practice mindfulness that are quick, simple and easy that you can do instead of sitting and meditating for hours and hours. So the first method I'm going to talk about is literally acknowledging that there is a body. And I use this one when I am feeling really stressed. I can feel like I want to take action based on an emotion, like especially a highly charged emotion, like if I'm feeling upset or stressed. Maybe I have the urge to cry, like it's really strong. And I want to take action, I want to make decisions. But I know that I'm way too caught up in the emotion to make a sound and balanced decision. The first thing I do is say to myself, there is a body. So when I say to myself, there is a body, you remember that you have a body. Because most of the time we are in our heads, and we don't even realize that we do you have a body. And as you do that, you can start to notice your body, notice the pull of gravity. So for me if I'm sitting, like I'm sitting right now, there's a body. So I notice my feet on the ground. I notice my butt on the chair. I notice my hands on my lap. And I just notice the areas of contact. So there is a body, areas of contact, the weight of gravity. And when you do that, you're going to feel this stability in your body. So that's great because it's really a grounding exercise. And the goal here is to feel grounded and centered within yourself. And that is one of the most important things when something is upsetting you or you feel like there is chaos around you or you're starting to feel chaos in your own head. There is a body is the number one tool in my toolkit to get ourselves centered and grounded. So there is a body. Notice the points of contact with the floor or where your hands are, your feet. And then feel the weight of gravity on your body and you're going to feel solid, you're going to feel stable. It's going to center you. But you're also going to get out of your head where all the stories are swirling around and going and making you feel stressed and anxious. Okay, so that is tool number one. I'm actually going to do five tools, because I forgot to talk about my three N method, so I will do that last. All right, number two. Simply count your breaths. So literally, when you are feeling stressed, you can just count your breath, like count the inhale as one, one, exhale, two, inhaling is one, exhaling is two, you can breathe quietly, three, four, all the way up till 10. And then you start with one again. So counting your breaths, inhaling and exhaling one, two, all the way up till 10. And then you start with one again. I would do this for about times five, it doesn't take long at all. And if you're focusing on your breath, and notice where your breath is, does it feel like it's in your shoulders, in your chest, or is it your belly. And just observe the rising and falling of the belly as you count your breaths. And this also gets your brain to focus on your breath. So then you are out of your head, and you're not as married to the stories in your head or feeling these really strong emotions. So this is another one that I use when I'm feeling a little anxious, or I'm feeling a little stressed. And I just simply count my breaths, and it helps to just center and ground me. The third tip and tool I'm going to give you is box breathing. Now, this is used by I believe the military in stressful situations. So you inhale to a count of seven or eight, you hold for another seven or eight, you exhale for a count of seven, or eight. And then once you exhale, you wait, you count to seven, or eight, and then you inhale again. And it's box, because if you visualize it, so you've got four steps, each step is an equal count. So it creates a box. And this is really useful if you're getting amped up, you feel like your heart is beating fast. Do this for about a minute or so. And you will find yourself much more calmed down, much more relaxed. And this too, will get you out of your head and more one with your body and your breath. This is a really good one for when you're feeling really amped up and you just want to calm yourself. Tool number four is to notice what is around you. So when you find yourself, your brain is spinning, you're feeling anxious. You can do something very basic, like if you're inside, look inside the room, notice what's on the wall, notice the curtains on your windows. It's even better if you can get outside and breathe some fresh air. Notice the trees. And what this does is this helps us to connect with our surroundings and in our environment. And this also gets us out of our heads. Because when we're in our heads, and of course being in our heads is, I mean, it's a great thing in the sense that this has helped us achieve so much. But it also is really the cause of so much of our grief and suffering. So when we can really learn to work with our monkey mind and our brains, the way they're spinning out. And we can learn that that's just how we function. But instead, work with it and not against it. Right. These are simple tools we can use to really just notice our surroundings and get out of our heads. Now the last one I'm going to talk about is the three N method, which is my own personal method to cultivate mindfulness in a matter of a few minutes. Now this is a little bit more advanced. I'm gonna go over the first step because the other two steps are a little bit more in depth. And I go into this more in the episode I mentioned on mindfulness. And I also talk about it in my master class. But the three N method is notice, neutralize, and new. And this is really useful for when you're feeling negative about something, when you're feeling upset. Simply notice. Notice what's going on, notice what's going on in your body. If you're feeling anxious, what is it? Where is it? Qualify it, quantify it in your body. So notice, and then once you notice, you're gonna get that distance, and you can neutralize it and then the last step is really to create a new thought. But I want you to focus on noticing. Because as you notice, and you become aware, which is really the first step in this work, you create awareness, you're going to get the distance that you need to cultivate inner peace and presence. Now, I just talked about how these tools can help you when you're feeling stressed or anxious or get you out of a negative cycle. But they're also really useful in creating presence. To be present in the moments when you want to be there. So this is true, especially for when you're spending some precious moments with your children. So if you have younger children, and you do a bedtime routine, and you notice yourself obsessing about work, or the grocery list or dinner, while you're supposed to be reading stories, and your brain isn't even there, you can use any of the tools that we talked about today. So for example, if your mind is wandering when you want to be present in an important moment. Or just savoring time with your family, your friends, or your children. You can literally just focus on your body, say there is a body and notice your body and breathe. Or this is not a tool that I mentioned, but really easy to do. Just focus on your breath. It's kind of like counting your breaths, but just notice the inhale and notice the exhale. And as you do that, it really brings you in to yourself, centers yourself, you're going to ground yourself, and you're going to be present. So these mindfulness techniques that I talked about today, they're ways to calm yourself, decrease your suffering, deal with any negative thoughts or emotions. So that's an amazing thing, right? Like that's what we want. Because then we're going to feel less exhausted, less burned out. But the other piece of this is it really helps us to be present in the moments that matter. And that's where we start to be present, take hold of our lives. We don't have to let life pass us by and we can start to enjoy everything that we've worked so hard for. Now, I have helped countless professional moms like yourself reduce their stress and anxiety, ditch burnout once and for all in 90 days or less through working with me. And to see if you're someone that I can help too, book a call with me . The link will be in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in. I am wishing you the best of years this year, and I will talk to you next week.
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Breaking the Burnout Cycle: Strategies for Professional Moms to Find Peace Inspired by Children's Resilience
12/27/2023
Breaking the Burnout Cycle: Strategies for Professional Moms to Find Peace Inspired by Children's Resilience
Episode 80: Breaking the Burnout Cycle: Strategies for Professional Moms to Find Peace Inspired by Children's Resilience Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how professional women can draw inspiration from childhood behaviors to combat burnout and enhance life satisfaction. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can utilize childlike wonder to increase your happiness and reduce exhaustion. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: How to embrace curiosity and playfulness. Finally be present. Celebrate yourself. Have more fun. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 80. Well, hello there, I hope you are doing so well. And I'm so glad to have you here listening with me today. I actually have a special episode planned. Happy holidays. And this is the last episode before the New Year. And today I want to talk about the magic of Christmas time and the holiday time. So if you're a professional mom who is exhausted every day, you might be stuck in the daily grind dread trap. And if you're stuck here, you likely have a successful career that you're proud of. But almost daily, you're filled with guilt, because you cannot show up for your family in the way that you want. You're bogged down by the daily grind, going from day to day feeling like life is just passing you by. And you don't even remember the last time that you felt joy or being present in the moment. You're probably exhausted from wrapping gifts for your kids. And the reason this is happening is whether you're working at home or in your career, you're always working hard putting the needs of others in front of your own. And all the hard work you're doing is more based on other people's needs than your own. And I have been there because I am a physician. I'm an internal medicine physician and mom of two. So I know. I used to be a workaholic. And you want to make a change in your life. But sometimes just any change feels like more work and you just don't even want to start. And to fix this, you've probably tried therapy or counseling and it helped for a little while but overall you still don't feel better. Or you're listening to self help books by Brene Brown or Glennon Doyle trying to find a better way but there's no change in your life. If this is you, do not worry. I have helped countless professional moms just like you because I've been in your shoes. And I still practice medicine. And so I do know about managing so many things but still finding my peace of mind and joy. Book a call with me . Or even check out my free masterclass on demand four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm for good to finally get your peace of mind back. Links for both are in the show notes. Now I'm actually recording this on Christmas Day. And it has been such a wonderful holiday season because I went to my mother's house for Thanksgiving, she threw Thanksgiving for my entire family. And it was just really great to be around all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. And I hadn't really seen some of them since before COVID hit. So that was lovely. And then since then, my cousins and I have hung out a couple of times. So it's like a lot of hanging out with family in a concentrated time. And also connecting with dear friends for dinners around the holidays. It's just been wonderful. And yesterday, I actually hosted a bunch of my cousins at my home. And this was my first time hosting. And it was just great to have everyone there and be together. It was a nice time and it felt really good. And then today, I actually got to see another dear friend of mine from residency. The morning of course, was opening up gifts with my children. And that was absolutely fantastic and inspired the material for this episode actually. I had some other topics in mind, but I'll save that for next week. This kind of came to me when I've just really been enjoying and been so happy during the holidays. And I will say this is probably my best holiday so far in the past four years. The last three years were not as easy and great. But I'm just happy to be here. So that's why I wanted to talk about it. And one thing that really struck me which is the topic of today's episode is the magic of the holiday season. The magic of Christmas and the Christmas tree and the idea of Santa. And what I want you to take away from this episode is really what we can learn from our children and how we can adapt the lens that they have on life. And so many of those things, the way we saw things when we were kids, we lose them as we grow up. And I know that we all have way more responsibilities than when we were children. But I do think there's a way to be an adult, be responsible, but at the same time really embody the magic and wonder of being a child. And it's how kids see Christmas. So what I really noticed in my kids, especially my older one who's five and a half, is that he just had so much wonder and appreciation. I got this very real, very large Christmas tree and when he saw it in my home for the first time, he just gasped and he went oh, and it was literally one of the best things he'd ever seen. And we just take so many things for granted because they're not first for us. But there is so much beauty in a Christmas tree. And so that just got me thinking that we need to do more of that. We need to have magic and wonder and really appreciate the regular things. And the next thing that children do, which we lose as adults is they have so much sense of possibility and belief. And the fact that they just believe in the magic of Christmas, and they believe in Santa Claus, but they also believe that they can do anything. They have big hopes and dreams. And things happen to us along the way in our journeys that harden us, or make us lose belief in ourselves. And then we have limiting beliefs, which is really a belief that's not serving you, but you believe it is fact. And it limits you in what you can do. And these limiting beliefs hold us back so much, and they are thieves of joy. And because of them, we hold ourselves back, and we stop making our dreams come true. And we stop believing. And that is something that children automatically, naturally embody. And we need to take a cue and do more of that. The next thing that children do that we need to do more of is they have inherent intuition, and they believe it. And so many of us, we're all intuitive, and we quiet down our intuition, we ignore it. And often as we become adults, we just don't even realize we have it. And if we can actually quiet down the noise in our brains and tap into our intuition, the intuition that we had as children, even, then we can really make decisions in alignment and save ourselves a lot of trouble. And I say this because I myself was always really intuitive as a child, and even teenager. And then I went through a phase where I just didn't believe in it, I lost it. And I realized that not listening to the voice inside of me really caused me pain in certain areas of my life. And so now at 40, I no longer ignore that voice. And I really just follow my intuition and life goes so much more smoothly. And so that is really something to tap into. So think about and really just sitting in silence for a few minutes at a time or every day, you can just be quiet and see what comes to you. Because most of the time we're addicted to our phones, we're over scrolling on social media, scrolling on our phones, online shopping, online grocery shopping, or even Netflixing too much. So just think about doing some of that. Kids do that. And we need to also embrace that intuition. The next thing kids do that we also need to do more of is telling the truth, kids are so honest, and it is so adorable, and sometimes funny. And I know we don't want to hurt other people's feelings. But I think just being really honest with people is one of the best ways just to be straightforward and not play games. And we don't have to hurt people. But we can definitely honor our own truth and speak up, especially when it's appropriate. So telling the truth. Another thing we can do is embrace creativity. Kids are so creative and imaginative. And we just do not do this enough. As adults, we get so cerebral, and we just lose that sense of fun. So this could be anything. It could be writing or coloring or creating art, just a way to channel some creativity. Because kids are doing this all the time. My own kids will literally sit at my kitchen table and they will do coloring or arts and crafts for hours and hours. Another major concept that I've spoken about in the past is self love. And this really is a key pillar and component of inner peace, the good life. And children love themselves so so much and they value themselves. And whatever happens along the way that maybe starts to crush that and then they doubt themselves. But self love, loving ourselves and giving ourselves compassion and being proud of ourselves. That is something that we should mimic that children do. The other topic that I want to mention when it comes to how kids see things is time and deadlines. They literally have no concept of deadlines, no concept of time. And we're busy yelling at our kids to brush their teeth, get out the door on time, again, brushing their teeth, get to bed on time, right and we have our agenda. We have our deadlines, and they don't know and they don't care. Meanwhile, we're driving ourselves crazy to get places on time. And time of course is a false construct. So I just wonder if we just adapted this attitude, I'm not saying we have to do it 100%. But let go a little bit on our time stuff. Imagine how liberating that might be, and how that would reduce our stress and our anxiety. So the next time that you're rushing either your kids or yourself, take a deep breath and think about how it really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. We can also embrace curiosity, just like children. Because they just are naturally curious, always asking questions, soaking up things like sponges. And we can also do the same thing by asking more questions. Maybe doing things differently than how we were raised. That's a big one. But even on a smaller level, we could explore a new hobby or interest outside of work and really get our brains going in a different way. Playfulness is another concept that we should adapt from children, because children, they engage in play as a way to learn and have fun. And if we're able to incorporate a playful attitude into daily life, then this can truly help us combat burnout and exhaustion. And the easiest way to do this is really finding humor in everyday life and situations. Another thing that kids do is they're really present, and they're living in the present moment immersed in whatever they're doing. And really being mindful. And they're not worrying so much about the future. Because they don't have the responsibility of that. And so for us, really being present in the most important moments, the present moment, engaging in what we're doing is one of the greatest ways to really combat burnout and exhaustion as well. But that is one of the number one things that we should adapt from children. And to learn more about this, definitely tune in to one of my podcast episodes on mindfulness. And the last thing that we can be doing that is similar to what kids do is really celebrating the small achievements. And they learn to celebrate so many small things. And that's amazing and that really contributes to positivity and feeling fulfilled. So that is something that we can do more of and help ourselves truly find joy every single day. So take one of these and make an intention to practice one of the things I talked about today in the new year and see how much happier you will be. And if you are sick of burnout and exhaustion and you really want to do the deep work to heal the next generation of healing for the new year. Book a call with me, . And actually this week, I will have more spots to talk because I'm off work and I'm hanging at my parents house and I will have some free time. And I would love to talk to you to really dive into what is going on with you and make a plan to get you out of burnout once and for all in 90 days or less. Thank you so so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week which is in the new year.
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Finding Balance Beyond Therapy with the Happy Mom Method
12/20/2023
Finding Balance Beyond Therapy with the Happy Mom Method
Episode 79: Finding Balance Beyond Therapy with the Happy Mom Method Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how coaching can benefit you in finding work-life balance in a different way than therapy can. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how coaching can give you a way to create a concrete plan to get you out of burnout and exhaustion faster than therapy can. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: How therapy helps but takes a long time How to get out of the ‘Daily Grind Dread Cycle’ How to get transformational results in a shorter period of time Tangible tools to find more balance To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 79. Hi there, everybody, I am so glad to have you listening here today to this podcast episode. We are just wrapping up, I was gonna say the old year, which sounds weird. So let's just say that we are approaching the new year where a lot of us feel a renewed sense of self. And we want to have a fresh start to all that we might want to achieve in 2024. And I know for a lot of you that is finding balance or finding work life balance. And so many of my clients want this too. In fact, one of my clients, she was telling me that she found therapy. And she did it for a really long time, because she felt unhappy and unfulfilled, especially in her role of being a mom. She's a high power pharma exec. But she found basically, she had two problems with therapy. One was that it was very expensive, and that it wasn't really covered by insurance, which happens, I think, to a lot of people. And also it was super time consuming. And then it really takes years to see the effect of therapy. So that's really what made her try coaching. She found that within just a few months of working with me, she had her transformation and was really able to figure out finding happiness, peace of mind and balance her demanding work life along with her home life and responsibilities as a mom. And that coaching really provided tangible solutions for her that really therapy had not. And I bring this all up because today I want to dive into the concept of coaching versus therapy in finding work life balance, or just finding a more balanced life. Maybe you've tried therapy, and it's helped for a little while. But overall, you still don't feel better. And here's what's happening to most people, when they're experiencing the following problems. You've got the successful career you're proud of. But almost daily, you're filled with guilt, because you just can't show up for your family in the way that you want. And even though you've made it in your career, you daydream about being with your kids when you're at work. But then you're thinking about work when you're at home, and you're never present in your life because you're constantly flip flopping between the two. Or when you make plans for fun when you're not working, these plans cause you to feel even more tired, more overwhelmed, and you don't get the sense of peace, rest or balance. And it's so frustrating. Because on paper, you've got everything that you've worked for personally and professionally, but you're still unfulfilled, you're still not happy, and you definitely don't feel balanced. So often people will look for therapy or to find a therapist to solve this problem. And here's what happens, sometimes the therapist is a good fit, but sometimes the therapist isn't, and then that's kind of an issue because then you have to really go therapist shopping. And then maybe even couples therapy, which is great. It's good to have a neutral party to mediate and bounce ideas off and have a different set of eyes and ears on your marriage or your situation. But even that doesn't necessarily give you the solution that your marriage needs. And then in therapy, sometimes you just wish that your therapist would be more prescriptive, but he or she isn't. And a lot of my clients complain that their therapy sessions really turn into vent sessions. And though that's helpful to be able to vent things out, they don't really leave with concrete solutions, and they don't feel themselves finding transformation. And many of us have walked the path of therapy just to help us navigate our brains. And of course, therapists do offer a safe space if you find the right fit. But it can be a challenge to find the right fit. And the journey through therapy can leave us with insights about our past. But then often, why does it feel like sometimes we're stuck in a never ending cycle of venting. And then maybe even after years of therapy, you might have a better idea of how your childhood has affected where you are today. Or also like what got you here. But you're still left feeling exhausted and you don't know how to enjoy the now. You don't know how to even get from now to where you want to be. So really, here's what I really believe needs to be done instead: coaching. Because this really starts with an awareness. Awareness is the first step of all of this work. And it's basically an awareness of the stories that are going on in your brain. So what is our brain telling us and really being aware of that and in tune with that. And then once we realize what our brain is telling us, we can make an active choice and we can decide do we want to play into the story, do we want to feed into the story? And really part of the work inside my coaching program is where you learn about the stories, the narratives that you're telling yourself and recognizing what's going on. So questioning these narratives and deciding what we want to do with them. That really is the step of breaking free from the cycle of what I like to call the cycle of the daily grind dread, and gaining clarity on our thought patterns that really end up shaping and creating the experience of our lives. So this cycle of daily grind dread is really something that so many women and moms in demanding careers, they are suffering from it. Where you're waking up in the morning, you're exhausted, your alarm goes off, you're not rested, you got to jump out of bed, get your kids ready for school, out the door, maybe get to school on time, get to work, and then it's go go go in the grind during the day. You come home, you've got the chores or chauffeuring your kids around, maybe getting dinner on the table, and then you're so exhausted at night. Maybe you're scrolling on your phone, while you're Netflixing at the same time, and you stay up too late watching Netflix, and then you go to bed, not having gotten enough sleep to wake up and do it all over again. And this is just no way to live. There has to be more, in fact, forget there has to be, there is more to life than this. And it's really through doing the deep work, healing yourself. Not bandaid solutions, which often therapy can be and doing the work to get yourself out of that cycle of the daily grind dread. And really getting clarity on what's happening in your brain and what you're going to do about it. So how do we figure out these stories? Well take a moment to reflect on major events in your life. I want you to take a moment to do this. And really, I would pause this podcast episode or come back to it later if you're driving or walking or running and think about the major effects in your life, both positive and negative, and make a list. And then once you have the list, look at each event and really think about the thought that you have related to each event. For example, for me getting into medical school, that was a huge achievement in my life, that was a huge event. Or maybe that is for you, what were the underlying thoughts and narratives that propelled you forward. So for me, it was that I can do anything I put my mind to. And knowing that that is a story, that is a narrative that's helpful. And I can use that and move forward with it. Versus if there's maybe a negative event with a negative story behind it, we can become aware of that. And conversely, we can decide to drop that story and not play into it because it's not helpful. So understanding these stories is really the first step towards either carrying them on because we want to and this is all with intention. We're living a life with intention and having intentionality. So we're being intentional with carrying the story forward, because it's helpful. Or in dropping the story and maybe creating a new one, if it's not helpful. And this is especially, you're gonna see this in the negative events. And one of the key advantages of coaching in breaking the cycle of the daily grind, dread. So one of the key advantages to coaching is that it focuses on action. And it's really about getting ourselves out of this loop of monotony. So meaning this loop of monotony is what keeps us in this daily grind dread cycle, and we can't break free. But coaching helps us identify the stories that's really holding us back and replace them with empowering narratives. And this is a proactive approach that really moves beyond vent sessions and actually offers tangible strategies to create lasting change. So getting out of the daily grind that dread cycle is really the happy professional mom method, the happy mom method. And we learn to have alignment and mindfulness and empowering ourselves so that eventually we can really enjoy our time with our kids. Enjoy the trips that we plan, truly be present with them. Have the balance, have peace of mind. And this is all possible. And the reason I really do this work is to help moms like yourself, get out of the daily grind dread to really create the life that they want for themselves. A dream life in fact, one that really aligns with what they see for themselves because I want to make sure that you don't have regrets when you die. And you're really making the most of this life and enjoying and being present for the majority of your life. To be a happier mom professional, have happier partners, husbands or wives. And happier kids, which really makes a happier world. And as a physician, I'm still practicing medicine. But I have been there in the full time daily grind dread and one day was just bleeding into the next until I had my awakening when I became a mother and I just knew that I wanted to create a different and better atmosphere for my child. And that is what brought me into this work and that is why I do what I do. And I heal people in a different way. I am a healer of course, because that's just what physicians are, but I get to heal people. I get to help women like you and really feel like I'm making a positive impact on this world. So if you too want to learn more and see if you're dealing with issues like this, and they sound familiar book a call with me, to see if you're someone that I can help too. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.
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Self-Care is the Worst Way to End Burnout and Exhaustion
12/13/2023
Self-Care is the Worst Way to End Burnout and Exhaustion
Episode 78: Self-Care is the Worst Way to End Burnout and Exhaustion Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how self-care is not the end all be all when it comes to treating exhaustion and burnout. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about why self-care isn’t actually all it’s made out to be and some techniques on how you can truly relieve exhaustion. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: Why self-care doesn’t solve exhaustion and burnout Common mistakes made by busy professional moms and what to do instead. The deeper work required: true energization comes from addressing internal struggles and challenges rather than relying solely on external self-care activities. The power of self-love: Highlighting the significance of self-love as a transformative tool for overcoming burnout. Sharing personal experiences and client anecdotes illustrating the profound impact of integrating self-love into one's life. Practical tips for cultivating self-love: Drawing inspiration from the book "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" by Kamal Ravikant. Practical tips for cultivating self-love, including daily affirmations, consistent habits, positive visualizations, and selective social circles. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 78. Hello, how are you? I hope you're doing well. I am so happy to have you listening to today's podcast episode. It is freezing here in the Northeast. So I have maybe been doing a little bit of retail therapy, grabbing cozier and warmer sweaters. And I restarted my newly rental, I have no affiliation with them, just to have some variety in my wardrobe. But yeah, I think last winter was a lot milder, it wasn't as cold as soon so it's been chilly here in the North East. But the fun part of that is the holidays are approaching. I actually just got my very first real Christmas tree, please don't judge me. I know it's not good for the environment. But I love the smell. And it was a big deal for me to get my own tree. And I'm super excited. It just came last night, it was delivered. And now I get to decorate it with my kids. And it's going to be a beautiful holiday season. So today I want to talk about really the concept of self care. Is it really the way to energize yourself in the long run? I don't think so. Because we've all been told about self care for a really long time. It's been pushed on us as the antidote to burnout. And if that were the case, then everyone who gets mani pedis would just be out of exhaustion and burnout and energized, right? So here's what most women who are in survival mode, in demanding careers, who are exhausted do when they're, let's say, proud of their careers, but daily, they're filled with guilt, because they're not showing up for their family in the way that they want or making plans for fun. When they're not working they feel even more overwhelmed, never getting a sense of peace or balance. And it's really frustrating because on paper, they have everything that they've worked for personally and professionally. Or when you get home after a long hard day of work, there's still emails or charts pending that you can't separate work from home. And then during storytime with your kids, you don't even know what you're reading. You want to be present, but your brain is spinning in a million directions thinking about your to do list and all the work that's piling up, right. So people with these problems are often trying more self care. And so many professional women are getting mani pedis, they're getting massages every once in a while. And though these things are great, it's good to pamper ourselves, it's great to take a break and just be alone or get a mani pedi with a friend. But in terms of solving the issue of burnout and exhaustion, these tactics just don't work. And the reason is that getting a mani pedi or getting a massage, that lasts for an hour, maybe two. You feel a little bit relaxed for a couple of hours. But then it's back to either work at your job or work at home. Getting stuff done, being the default parent, or functioning as a single parent or being a single parent. Whether it's arranging the kids lessons, their extracurricular activities, childcare, or trying to plan a night with friends. So trying the self care stuff, it doesn't work. And so women continue to run into these problems, because self care is really temporary. And the only way to truly be energized, to truly be less exhausted, is to heal from the inside out. To do the work on the inside. And you may be wondering, how do I do this, right. And so of course, this is a lot of the work that we do inside my coaching program overcome burnout for good, but I want to let you in on what I believe is the crux of this work, to really having a life filled with inner peace and joy. And the first step to this besides having a vision and living a life with intention, which I've talked about before. Maybe not the first step, but another major pillar of this is to learn how to love yourself. And I say learn because I think all kids love themselves. And I see this in my children how, especially when they're babies, they have such a fascination with themselves and starting from when they're newborns, they love looking in the mirror. And then they are just really pleased with themselves and they love themselves and it's incredible. And then we were probably like that, and then life does its number on us. And then we begin to accommodate other people's needs above our own. We learn to people please and we lose sight of how magical, how wonderful we are. And so loving yourself. It really will have the most profound effect on your life. And it's a wonderful example to set for children as well. So when you start to ask yourself the question of what would I do if I loved myself, it really starts bringing so much clarity to areas where you may be having confusion. And I know a client of mine, she was really struggling in her marriage. And through doing the self love work, she was able to leave a very toxic and abusive situation. But it was learning to love herself that helped her to face her fears and leave him. So it's so powerful, this work. Now, you could use self love on a much more basic level. But it does make decisions a lot clearer. So we really have to decide that we're going to reteach ourselves to love ourselves. So a couple of years ago, I read a book by Kamal Ravi Kahn, and I hope to have him on the podcast in the new year. And his book is called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. And it really talks about the power of self love. And he talks about his own personal journey, which hopefully he'll be on the podcast talking about that which will be great. And he gives a few tips. Now his tips are as follows. Repeating the mantra of I love myself, just all the time and this affirmation to remind yourself to love yourself. And really shifting in replacing negative thoughts with more positive affirmations. Making self love a daily habit and being consistent with this, be it through meditation, affirmations, or just something you do every day. And visualizing a positive future. So envisioning a life with self compassion and positive energy. As well as letting go of negative influences, and being really picky about who you're surrounding yourself with. N ow, I read this book a couple of years ago, and it most certainly transformed my life. And then I was talking to an energy reader. I am into a lot of manifestation. And I've gotten very much into energy. And she told me to focus on self love. So I decided to get back into my self love practices, meaning, after I read his book, I really learned to love myself and make decisions in that light. But I decided to take that practice one step further and cultivate a daily ritual. So actually, the first time I decided to do this, I looked in the mirror, and I told myself, I love you. And it was really awkward. And it felt really weird. And it freaked me out. Like it felt really strange. And what's interesting about this is it was actually really hard to do, which makes me realize that loving ourselves isn't second nature. And it's something that we have to sort of teach ourselves to do again. So come up with a ritual of self love for yourself that you can practice. It doesn't have to be like what I'm talking about here today, it can be anything that you feel is a good self love practice. The concept of looking into the mirror and saying I love you, you're lovable just for being you. It's similar to Mel Robbins, high five habit where you look in the mirror, you look yourself in the eye, and you give yourself a high five. And similarly, it's just looking in the mirror and making eye contact with yourself. And even though you might be looking in the mirror when you're putting on your serums or your makeup, it's very different when you're looking in the mirror and you're actually being a friend to yourself. So try that and you'll see that at first it's really awkward, it feels very unnatural. It might not even feel great and it can be a little confusing, but as you keep practicing it, it becomes less awkward. And you really start to embody that concept of loving yourself. So that is one way that you can really energize yourself for long term success as opposed to the band aid solutions like self care mani pedi and massages. I'm not saying that they're not good but they really are a simple Band Aid fix for feeling chronically exhausted or being in survival mode. And to dive deeper into this work, book a call with me, . I've helped so many professional moms with these types of problems and see if you're someone that I can help too. Check it out. And thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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2023 Recap & Power Goals for 2024
12/06/2023
2023 Recap & Power Goals for 2024
Episode 77: 2023 Recap & Power Goals for 2024 In this episode, Dr. Prianca Naik talks about ending the year off strong by reflecting on the prior year and planning for the year ahead. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can head into the new year with clear priorities and understand what you want to bring into 2024. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn how to: Practice a year-end reflection Shift your brain to appreciate all you’ve done Set Intentions for 2024 To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 77. Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Nothing lights me up more than doing these podcast episodes. I love it so much. I used to love giving unsolicited advice back in the day, no one wanted to hear it. So I think this podcast is my special way of really using everything I've learned and all the work I've done on myself and streamlining that. It took me a lot longer than the tips I offer to you. But everything that I've learned, I put it on this podcast, knowing that it's going to help you. Maybe you're stressed at work because you're dealing with clients or patients all day long, you're not getting a break because when you go home, it's go go go with the kids activities or getting dinner on the table. And you're helping everyone else all day long, except for yourself. And this leaves you feeling exhausted, burned out and depleted. So if you want to be out of burnout for good, check out my free masterclass four steps to overcoming overwhelm and burnout, finally get your peace of mind back. The link is in the show notes. Today, I wanted to share with you something that I do every single year towards the end of the year. And as I approach the following year, I have been doing this I believe since 2020. And I really wanted to share it with you my own special end of the year reflection. And if you want a copy of the questions, feel free to message me on at Doctor Prianca on Instagram, that link is there too in the show notes. So here we go. So let's just go over a year end reflection and some of the things to think about. And I record this on a Word document and save it on my computer. And then what's really fun is I get to compare the various years and see all the progress I make each year. And it's so important to keep in mind all of the great things that we are doing because we just tend to be perfectionists, and therefore we end up focusing on what's not working or what we did imperfectly or what we're not doing right. And that just leads to unhappiness. So the more we can actually take time out because it's not natural to do this. But take and make the time to see how much we've grown, assess the past year, we learn from our mistakes. And then we make new goals for the following year. And I just love this organizing life or just having some structure and intention. And I'm going to tell you that I literally just went over my goals for 2023. And I would say I hit 80 to 85% of those goals. There were some big ones that I haven't achieved yet. But I shall transpose it to my new document as I think about 2024. I do really believe that we can all make our dreams come true. I don't care how cheesy that sounds, I fully believe in it. So hopefully you agree too and don't think that's completely kooky. But I really believe that we can think about something, we have a dream in mind, we put it out there in the universe, and we are smart and capable women, so we can truly make anything happen. Truly, anything we decide we get to make our dreams a reality. And the only caveat I will mention for that though, is that sometimes our dreams take longer to realize than we want them to because the universe doesn't work like that. But I do know that your dream will come true. As long as you don't give up on yourself. You gotta bet on yourself and go for it. Alright, that's enough of that soapbox. So now when we're thinking about 2023, here are some things to reflect on. And I would definitely listen to this when you can actually make a note or take notes and not while you're driving. Or pause if you need to think about the answers to some of these questions. So really reflecting on what worked and what went well. What did I create? This can be a feeling, this can be a trip, this can be an experience, this can be anything, what did you create? How did I grow as a person? And there's so much that you've probably grown in your life this past year, and you don't even realize it. Think about how you interact with your family, or your friends, or patients, or clients, or people at work? How has that changed? How have you matured? Which goals from last year did you achieve? And which ones did you achieve, and why and how? And which ones did you not achieve? And why didn't you achieve them? Or how are you on your way to achieving the goals that you did not achieve from last year? I think that's actually a better question. How are you on your way? So what did not go well? What would you do differently if you could reflect back on this year? What were some major moments? What were some major milestones? What were some incredible memories from this year? And for me, I turned 40 this year so that was a special milestone for me and memory as well. And I was able to make a dream of mine come true for that also, so I'm really happy when I look back on that for 2023. What are you proud of? This could be your qualities. This could be habits that you've cultivated. This could be something you've achieved in your career, this could be something you've done as a mom, something you're just doing for your mental health. Have you run a marathon? I mean, so many things we can be proud of. And we can be proud of really small things too, like doing handiwork at home by ourselves. What were some of your very, very best moments that make you smile, make you laugh, put a giant grin on your face? What was fun? What was the most fun that you had? What were some serious fun times where you were being goofy? I think for me it's when I'm dancing. So I think about those moments, and that's when I feel the most carefree. So that's the most fun for me. What felt hard? What was hard last year? And I think it's good to look at this because it's okay to feel like things are hard. It's okay, we get to give ourselves grace to feel some of the more negative parts of life. Because life really is 50/50. And the more we can embrace the messiness of it all, the less we suffer, I think, because you realize, hey, this is just part of the course that's going to pass. Which areas were difficult? So what were some major challenges? This is sort of similar to what felt hard. So what were challenges? And then when you think about the challenges, what did you learn from these challenges? How am I different than I was a year ago? This is a great one. And when I look at this one, I feel so proud of myself thinking about how I'm different in how I was a year ago. What are some serious lessons that you've learned from 2023? Come up with three to five words or phrases to describe 2023. For me, I have gratitude, freedom and growth. What are you the most grateful for in 2023? So it's always good to reflect. And I highly suggest doing this every December, really reflecting on the year. So now that we've reflected, we can move on to 2024. So what are three major things you want to focus on in 2024, and it can be broad. Once you come up with those, what are habits that you already have that you want to continue in 2024? So for me, I increased my working out in 2023. I used to work out probably three to four days a week, and now I'm closer to four to six. So I work out more. But I basically maintained that habit and continued it. I wanted to meditate regularly, I'd fallen off the wagon at some point. So I want to continue my meditation, I want to continue the mindfulness, I want to continue reading, these are all things I've always done. I started getting into manifestation stuff, and the universe and energy and all this kind of fun, more woowoo stuff at the end of 2022 and beginning of 2023. So I'd like to continue those habits. And then if you have any new habits that you want to develop, add those. I think for me, I'm maxed out on my habits right now. But you've got room if you want to add something new. How do I want to challenge myself in 2024? So I challenge myself in 2024 to do the following. So come up with some goals that you have. In 2024, I want to prioritize the following relationships. In 2024, this is my purpose. So mine, for example, is self love and spread joy to others through myself and the work that I do. So it can be really anything that you want, any mantra. Then list just any goals or generalized things that you want to achieve. And then reflect on for 2024 success looks like. So put that in there. In envisioning your ideal year ahead, what do you want? Think about what you want in your personal life, your professional life, for yourself, and how do you want to feel? And I think when you have an idea of how you want to feel, and you have that word in mind, you can also convert that word, how you want to feel, to your theme for 2024. I believe my theme for this year was fun. And I think I did have a lot of fun this year. Now if you need a hard copy and hand out of this just again, message me at DoctorPrianca on Instagram and I will email it to you no problem. In case listening to this, you're more of a visual learner, and you need to see the stuff. But this gives you a lot of homework for your year end reflection along with coming up with 2024 goals. I don't believe in resolutions really, I think people lose steam on those and then they forget about them. But I do find that when I reflect and I write things down in this way, I do end up sticking to it. And also it's a great way to just manifest by writing stuff down. And you make a list of things that you want and a lot of times if you're open the universe will present that to you. So see how that goes. And I know that it is going to be a great exercise for you to do before we hit 2024. Now if you're feeling like when you get home after a long day of work, there's still a bajillion emails pending or charts pending, you can't separate work from home. Then during storytime with your kids, you don't even know what you're reading. You want to be present but your brain is just spinning in a million different directions thinking about your work and your to do lists piling up so you're exhausted and you're not enjoying your life. If that's the case, book a call with me to learn more about working with me, to be out of burnout and exhaustion for good in 90 days or less. . Link is in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in this week and I will talk to you next week.
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People-Pleasing Trap: Why Women Are Prone and How to Break Free for Work-Life Joy
11/29/2023
People-Pleasing Trap: Why Women Are Prone and How to Break Free for Work-Life Joy
Episode 76: People-Pleasing Trap: Why Women Are Prone and How to Break Free for Work-Life Joy Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the topic of people pleasing and why women may be more susceptible to this phenomenon. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can stop people pleasing and take back control of your life. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: Understanding the Roots: Explore why people-pleasing is ingrained from a young age and how early conditioning impacts our adult behaviors. Power Dynamics: Uncover how seeking external approval can unwittingly give away our power, using real-life examples from professional settings. The Narrative Shift: Learn to detach from others' opinions by understanding that their views are often shaped by their own stories, not a true reflection of your worth. Personal Journey: Delve into a personal story of overcoming people-pleasing, including struggles, self-discovery, and the transformative power of saying "no." Practical Solutions: Equip yourself with actionable tips, including setting boundaries, practicing self-awareness, embracing constructive criticism, and surrounding yourself with a supportive network. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms Podcast, episode number 76. Well, hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I am very excited to dive into a topic that really affects so many of us and can have such a profound impact on our work life balance and overall joy. And that is the topic of people pleasing. So I'm going to give you powerful tips and solutions for you to deal with this towards the end of this episode. And if you really want to dive deeper into this work and be out of burnout and exhaustion to truly enjoy your life again, because you deserve to, book a call with me. to get started. So the holidays and family dynamics really had me thinking. It had me reflecting on the person that I am today versus who I was about maybe five years ago, or even 10 years ago. And just having done this work and thinking about how I operate today, as opposed to how I was functioning in the past with my family, it made me realize that I so desperately wanted to be approved of by my extended family members. And honestly, I don't even see them that much. I see them pretty sparingly. So putting all this weight on what they thought of me and my life, so interesting, when it really doesn't come into play on a day to day basis. So hence the thought of people pleasing. I found myself really just behaving in alignment with my own life in integrity. I didn't feel like I needed to prove myself in the past, I would have talked a ton about how I meditate and how I do all this stuff and humble bragging about all that and I chose not to because I don't need to prove anything to anybody. And really at the end of the day, the most important approval that we should have is with ourselves. Having our own approval. So people pleasing is really a common behavior that many of us engage in, especially if you struggle with saying no or setting boundaries, or constantly seeking approval from others. If that resonates with you, any of those behaviors, then you may be a people pleaser. So this episode is especially for you. Let's start exploring why we become people pleasers in the first place. So the root of this behavior can really be traced to our childhood. And as toddlers, we learn that performing well, hitting those milestones will earn us praise. And as we progress through school, our grades sometimes depend on what our teachers think of us. So this really sets the stage for seeking external validation. And then it continues into adulthood with maybe how your colleagues see you or how your boss sees you, and really wanting them to know how talented you are or what a hard worker you are. So it's really critical that we recognize that this is happening and to realize that worrying about what other people think of us and trying to control their opinion of us and wanting them to like us when not everyone is going to like us, understanding that concept is so key in increasing our own sense of inner peace and also just joy because people pleasing is a time waste and it is a waste of energy. And it's tiring, and it's a joy thief. So this pattern of seeking external validation is especially prevalent in work settings, as I mentioned. I want to touch upon why men don't seem to be as people pleasing as women are, not to generalize. But I believe that women tend to engage in people pleasing behaviors way more than men. And it's really due to a combination of societal and cultural norms and factors. And these are general trends. And not everyone's like this. But this is why women might be more prone to people pleasing. Because from a young age, we are often socialized to be nurturing, accommodating, considerate, and that is put on us, especially helping in the kitchen or with cooking and cleaning. As well as cultural expectations and norms where women may be socialized to prioritize other people's happiness at the expense of her own needs. Also fear of disapproval where women fear social rejection, or sometimes it's harder for us in the workplace to function. Like we can't get away with saying certain things that men could get away with. And sometimes I feel like people in medicine, staff will say certain things to me that they would never say to my male colleagues. And then if I have a response, I might be seen in a more negative light than one of my male cohorts would be seen just because I'm a woman. Also just in terms of empathy and emotional awareness. Women often have higher levels of emotional awareness than men. And though it's valuable, it also leads us to be more inclined to please others in order to alleviate an uncomfortable situation. So the reality is that people pleasing gives away our power because when we seek approval outside of ourselves, we are handing over our happiness to external forces. Whether it is a boss or a colleague or friends or family. And this is basically futile. It's useless to try and control others perceptions of us because we really can't control it. And people often just see us based on their own stories. And it's not so much about what we're doing. So often we people, please to avoid the discomfort of disapproval. But realizing that not everyone's going to like us, that's helpful in ditching people pleasing and really just aligning with our own stuff. So the majority of someone's opinion is really shaped by their own narrative and not a true reflection of another person. So once we can figure this out and make peace with this, then we can move forward. Now I'm going to touch upon several tips and steps you can take to stop people pleasing, and really start living a more happy, fulfilling life. One is acknowledgement. So just acknowledging and recognizing that you're a people pleaser, or realizing when you are people pleasing. Meaning doing things that you don't want to do in order to make people like you, or doing something that's even harmful for yourself in order to control someone else's opinion of you. Number two, practice the power of no. Really playing around with and practicing saying no to stuff that you don't want to do that will free up your time. Practice pleasing yourself, and really celebrate everything that you've achieved and everything you're doing and be grateful for your own accomplishments and growth and take time to really think about that on a daily basis, all that you're doing and achieving and how amazing that is. Tip number four is to set clear boundaries. So really learning boundaries, which is a line between you and other people to create personal safety for yourself. And understanding that setting boundaries really helps in self preservation, and it is not selfish. Step number five is to practice self compassion, and really treat yourself as you would treat others. So this is a little bit of a golden rule reversal. But really learning to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you offer other people, that you offer to your own kids, even, and acknowledging that you do make mistakes, giving yourself compassion for that. And that's okay. And really, this is such a great balance and counterbalance to self criticism. And the factors that often drive us to people please. Number six is to really surround yourself with your own tribe and supportive people. So people who really see the world the way you do, and they appreciate you for exactly who you are, and they unconditionally love you. And there's a mutual respect. And this is so helpful. Because when you feel like you belong, you don't have to drive yourself crazy people pleasing. And number seven is to recognize that you really can't please everyone and set realistic expectations. And that's totally okay, right. Really challenge the idea that your self worth is contingent upon external validation or meeting other people's expectations. And really embrace the idea that you are valuable, you are lovable, regardless of what you do and your achievements. So incorporating these tips into your life, you're going to be so much better equipped to navigate situations to prioritize your own well being and ditch people pleasing once and for all. So the journey to doing that, to ditching people pleasing is really an ongoing practice. And you just have to start small, where you say, let's say, no to something that you really don't want to do, that's going to suck a bunch of your time and start there. And if you're not used to saying no, this can be really, really tough. So I would say even for the next week, say no to five different things. And I may have mentioned this on the last episode, but my mother hosted Thanksgiving for my entire dad's side. And it was basically I think it was 25 people, including the children at my mom's house. And it was totally crazy. And she took this on without really asking any of us meaning my father or my sister, should I do this, she just kind of volunteered it. And then from the get go, I actually told her, hey, I really don't want to be involved in organizing and helping, like I have my own stuff that I'm constantly doing in my own life. And I would like to relax when I come home. And that was my way of protecting myself so that I didn't leave Thanksgiving feeling totally drained and depleted. But I can actually leave that vacation of a few days, leave it feeling restored and rejuvenated. And I'm happy to say that that is the case, but it's because I had the guts to say that. Now you may think that's not very nice or it's not helpful, but I did end up helping and I did facilitate activities during Thanksgiving with my family. But my point is I did it on my own terms and I was helpful, but at least I did not feel drained and depleted having to do a million tasks. So that's just one example of not people pleasing. And just to show you how far I've come, because the old me would have been trying to help with everything and doing everything, especially to show everyone how helpful I am. And I no longer engage in behaviors that are purely for other people's good opinion of me, I have to do things in integrity and alignment with myself, and I'm very particular about how I spend my time. So there you have it, that's one example. But that's a big no to do. But if you have some smaller stuff you can start saying no to, just start there. Five things for the next week, see how it goes, you're going to see that it's going to have a positive impact on you and therefore a positive ripple effect on everyone around you. And this will totally transform your life and you will learn to not people please nearly as much. You're going to find yourself seeking your own approval and being so much happier. So thank you so much for listening to this journey today. So important, this work, and I'm grateful that you're here listening. If you want to dive deeper into this work and truly ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all, stop dreading the day when you're waking up thinking about all the work you have to do, all the meetings you have to attend, all the patients you have to see. And then you do all this work and then you come home and you have more work to do getting dinner on the table, maybe helping your kids with their homework or arranging activities. And it's exhausting and then you're left without joy, without fun and that is no way to live. So to break that cycle, stop the people pleasing trap, get out of the cycle of the daily dread and book a call me to see if we're a good fit to work together. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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Inner Peace Unleashed: Letting Go of Others' Opinions
11/22/2023
Inner Peace Unleashed: Letting Go of Others' Opinions
Episode 75: Inner Peace Unleashed: Letting Go of Others’ Opinions Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she shares her personal narrative, navigating the transformative impact of self-improvement on motherhood, the interconnectedness of personal development and global influence, and practical insights for letting go of external opinions to find inner peace. In this episode, you will learn: The Ripple Effect: Impact on Motherhood and Beyond Delve into the transformative power of a mother's self-improvement journey, exploring its profound ripple effect on children and beyond, illustrating the interconnectedness of personal development, parenting, and global influence. Letting Go of External Opinions: A Path to Inner Peace Explore the negative impact of external opinions on work-life balance and happiness, drawing on Brené Brown's vulnerability research to highlight the risks of prioritizing others' thoughts over personal beliefs. Dr. Prianca's Personal Journey: Unveiling Negative Narratives Openly share Dr. Prianca's raw and vulnerable personal narrative, connecting childhood stories to recent challenges, illustrating how deeply ingrained narratives shape reactions and lead to unnecessary suffering. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 75. Well, hello there. I am so grateful to have you here today with me on this podcast empowering working moms. My name is Dr. Prianca Naik, I'm a board certified internal medicine physician as well as a certified life coach. But most importantly, I am a mother of two little ones. And I do this work because I know that as we work on ourselves, as we heal ourselves, as we heal our own wounds, and do the work to energize ourselves, practice some mindfulness. That really is the key to our better life, ditching burnout, and exhaustion for good. But also, the most important thing, and I think this is something that really hits home is that the work we do here, that's the work that has a ripple effect on our kids, because it makes us better mothers. And when we can be better moms, then these kids are going to be their best selves. And imagine the effect that that has on this world. It's truly a ripple effect. And it has such an incredible impact on the world as we know it. And it all starts with us. So I was thinking how so many of us worry about what other people think and worrying about what other people think, having a good opinion of us really might not be the best way to find work life balance and happiness. But considering other people's opinions and feelings, that's what's made you the kind, caring person that you are today. And it's okay to think this way, because it's what we've been taught for years since we were young. But if you've blindly believed this, I am willing to bet that you have found yourself mentally exhausted, waking up at least three times a week, dreading going to work or even facing the day. Look at what Brene Brown says, what's the greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am. She has done a ton of research on vulnerability, she emphasizes the importance of coming home to ourselves, creating boundaries, and going after what we want. She highlights that we cannot look after ourselves and our own feelings if we put others thoughts and feelings above our own. That basing our actions on what other people think of us will only lead to dissatisfaction. Therefore learning to let go of what other people think of us is a key component of cultivating inner peace and happiness. And if this is you, do not worry. I have helped so many moms in demanding careers fix this problem with my coaching program. DM me to see if you're someone I can help too. You can find me on Instagram at Doctor Prianca D o c t o r p r i a n ca. That'll be in the show notes and find out if you are someone I can help too. So today I'm going to talk about something super personal. It's my own narrative and my own story. And I'm going to talk about this because when it comes to our own narratives and our own stories, we really have to consider how much that they are in the background. They have been formed in early childhood or maybe even later childhood. And they are so deeply ingrained, those neural pathways, that they're there. And often we don't realize that we see these stories as facts. And what happens is we get triggered, and then we have a response. And often it is because of our stories and our narratives that we have a specific response. And these cause a lot of suffering at times, the negative stories. So today I'm going to get in the weeds about my own negative story about myself, how it came about. Because these last, I would say about four days of the beginning of this week, I was definitely having some inner turbulence, and it prompted me to investigate what was going on. And as I do this work, I'm going to give you what I discovered about my story, and then that hopefully will prompt you to think about your own story. And I'll give you the steps of what to do next, like how you too can get some distance from your negative stories to really decrease suffering and increase peace of mind. And that's how we energize ourselves. That's how we did burnout and exhaustion once and for all. So here we go. This is pretty vulnerable for me, but I know that this will help you. So I'm going to go ahead and tell you because you're not alone in your journey. You're not alone in your suffering. And this is, yes, I'm a little, I'm kind of like stumbling on my words because I'm a little nervous to talk about my own stuff, because it was so raw, actually a few days ago, but here we go. So when you have a visceral reaction, or a really strong reaction that's out of proportional to maybe what the trigger is, or if you have a trigger where you've got the same negative response again, and again, these are opportunities for investigation, reflection and growth. Something that has come up for me a lot is, this is my story. So my story. It's kind of a sad story. My story is that nothing I do is good enough. I'm not good enough. And nothing I do is good enough and it doesn't matter. And it's not like I feel like the story is in the forefront every single day. It's not like that. It's a deep seated story from my own childhood. And I've mentioned this before, but as you can imagine, when you're told that like a 98%, where are the other two points, it's always a mantra of, it's not enough. And it should be better. Everything has to be better and improving. And though I will say that the goal for me of always improving myself and bettering myself, it's a great thing. So it's a positive thing. But the negative aspect of that is the not enoughness. So nothing I ever do is ever good enough. And I started realizing this in my marriage, which now I'm in the middle of a divorce. But that was really raw for me, because it always felt like my efforts were in vain. And then recently, my older child, I do a lot with him, connecting with him, lots of rituals with him, and he will want more and more from me. And I think that that's just how kids are. But instead, when he does that, I create a story of oh, I'm not good enough, mom, it's not good enough, taking time off on your off school days is not enough for you, doing gratitude practice at nights, that's not enough for you, going to your school field trip, that's not enough for you. And I realized that's not what he's saying at all. But that is how I'm perceiving it. So that was my recent realization of my not enough story coming into play yet again. So I'm going to tell you what I've been doing about that. But now I'm gonna get into the next pretty raw story that has to do with this not good enough story line. So I have a very wonderful au pair. And she came into my life last spring. And she came in at a time when I really needed her I had been having issues with childcare. And she was truly like a gift from the universe. And she is what I would call a unicorn au pair. And we grew very close, I grew very attached to her, we had a special connection. And over time, what happens with a lot of the au pairs is they talk to each other, and then they grow more entitled. And so I will also say that on my end, I was extremely generous with her giving her a ton of time off, I would give her cash bonuses. But the problem was, in doing all that I expected that she would stay with me. And we came to a time when we had to reassess whether she was extending with me or not. And so she brought up a bunch of asks and demands, which I thought they were reasonable. So I pretty much said yes to all of her asks, and we move forward. And then we were deciding, she said, okay, I'm gonna stay with you. And I said, great, I don't have to look for somebody else. And then about a week ago, there were a couple of things that happened. And she had a problem with like, one of my rules, and I basically had my boundary. And I said, you know, no, that's not a rule, I can bend on, I've bent on everything else. And it's still not enough for you. And so we both mutually agreed for, I'm going to look for another au pair and she's gonna look for another family for when she's done. And that's fine. And this happens. But I had such a visceral response to this, I was so upset, I made it really personal, which if you've read The Four Agreements, which I haven't, but one of the Four Agreements is not to take things personally. And I know this, but I had intertwined myself with my au pair, because she lives with me and boy oh boy I was having a lot of grief about this. And I think it was a multiple layered grief, it was the grief of I'm going to lose my au pair who's been a stable factor in all of our lives, grieving her. Grieving what I thought was going to be, that she was going to continue with us. And so when I was having this visceral reaction and I was crying, and I had other really stressful things going on. So it was compounding with all that. And I knew that it was just at baseline, I was already really stressed with some other stuff. But it all really came to a head. And when I had such a strong response, I thought to myself, alright, this is a time to investigate. So for you too, when you find yourself having a strong response, probably out of proportion to the stimulus. It's a moment to really stop and say, Alright, what is really happening here. So I did some investigation, and I realized it was two things. One was back to the story of it's not good enough for you. So in my mind, I thought I've bent over backwards. I've tried to make your schedule good. I've tried to give you more money, you know, cash bonuses, this and that. And also make you feel cared for like a part of the family. And it's not enough for you. And now you want more from me. When really, I don't think it's that deep. Like, I don't know what she thinks. But I'm just saying on her end, she wants to experience America, she wants a different experience, she wants a little bit more freedom than what I'm offering and that's fine. Like it's not personal. And so the point is my own story about myself is what created my own suffering. My story is what had me having a really big response to something that wasn't that serious. And I was thinking to myself, why am I having so much upset like I've been through so much worse, and that's what got me to have this realization. So I just want you to think about a time recently or in your life when there was a stimulus and your emotional response was way too deep for probably what it was, even if you felt like things were unfair. And think about what's the story behind that, like, what's really going on here? That's something to ask ourselves when we're experiencing suffering. Because remember, we are creating our own suffering. So here are the lessons I learned with my child and with the au pair situation. So with my kid, I realized I have to give myself compassion and grace, I'm doing the best I can. And honestly, it's a lot better than my parents did. So I gotta give myself grace for that, and know that my kids are really happy. And that is a reflection of the ambiance I've created. That's a reflection of the work I do, coaching myself, for example, so I get to give myself grace. So you too get to give yourself grace for whatever turbulence or whatever is imperfect. With my au pair, my lessons learned were, well, first of all, it really got me realizing my story of the not enoughness, but also loving detachment, I think I've forgotten that concept. And that's something I learned in Al Anon and to detach with love is to really care for somebody, but to release and detach from the expectation. So kind of loving them from afar. And so I was way too attached to her. And I've learned that and I'm going to try my best not to be attached to my next au pair. Also, the expectations, those always set us up for failure, like we cannot expect things of people. We have to be able to give and expect nothing in return. So that's something to reflect on for myself as I move forward. The other thing is, as I said, not to take things personally. So it wasn't that personal. And I get to release that. So as you move forward, I want you to really identify what are some of your wounds, and the way you're going to figure that out is two things. One, something that keeps triggering you over and over and over again, and start thinking about why is it triggering you? Why is it wounding you? What is your feeling? And what is the story behind that feeling? The other situation is when you have a response that's way larger than the stimulus. So like overreacting in your own mind, like why am I reacting this way? Why am I having a bigger response than I should be having? So those are your signals to do your investigation. And when you do this investigation, think about how are you feeling? Where is it in your body? Why are you feeling this way? What are the thoughts that are creating these feelings? What is the story that you're telling yourself, that creates this feeling for you. And step number one is you get to be present with that story, acknowledge it, give yourself compassion for the story. And a lot of times these stories have been with us for 30 something years. So I don't think that these are things we can actually get rid of, we can't get rid of these stories completely. But when we are aware of the story, we get to make sure that it doesn't wound us as much, that we don't play into it as much, we get distance from the story. And as we do that, we decrease our own suffering. So notice your story, be aware of it, and watch out for it. And the next time you have a similar trigger, you can say to yourself, oh, that's just my story. Like for me, I would say oh, that's just my story that I'm not good enough, that nothing I ever do is good enough. And it hurts but I don't need to take it so seriously. It's not a fact. And then the next step to that is really creating a new story. And that I think is a little bit beyond the scope of this podcast episode, like getting into that, that's probably more work we would do inside my program. But if you even just start investigating the triggers and the stories, you truly will decrease your suffering, increase your peace of mind, have more balance, really feel more energized, not allow yourself to get drained as much, and be out of exhaustion and burnout. If you find yourself at least twice a day, you're yelling at your kids to get out the door, to brush their teeth in the morning or even at night, and you've tried practicing more self care like mani pedis and massages in order to feel exhausted but it's not working and you're still mentally exhausted. You're still feeling burned out, book a call with me to really heal yourself from the inside out and have that ripple effect on you and your family and therefore the world. And I know that sounds really like yeah, right. But trust me, it's so true and it's possible. Book a call with me to find out . Thank you so much for tuning in. Have a happy Thanksgiving and I will talk to you next week.
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The Power of Human Connection in Ending Burnout
11/15/2023
The Power of Human Connection in Ending Burnout
Episode 74: The Power of Human Connection in Ending Burnout Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how powerful human connection is when it comes to getting rid of burnout. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can improve several aspects of your life through connecting with those around you. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: The role of relationships in our mental well-being. The evolutionary context of the concept of tribe. The rewards of social connection. How to build and maintain connections. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 74. Hello there, I am so happy to have you here today listening to this week's podcast episode. I hope you're doing well, I have been doing great. And I say that because life is often in phases of up and down, or maybe just sometimes middle ground. And I have been in a middle ground to up meaning better place, at least right now. And I attribute that to having seen some old friends recently. And I've also been in the process of making new friends in the community and also at my older child's school. So that's been really nice and has me thinking about the power of human connection. So many of us as moms out there, you've got the demanding career, and you're just exhausted. And maybe you find yourself yelling at your kids twice a day to get out the door and brush their teeth. Or you've thought about cutting back at work for a really long time or a different role, but you're afraid to ask for that because of what your colleagues or superiors might think. Or every day your brain is just spinning nonstop over your to do list or pending work that's piling up. And this is mentally exhausting, and it leads to exhaustion and burnout. And what I do in my program, and I'm going to talk about today, it's really solutions to ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all. And if you want to learn more about that check out my free masterclass four steps to overcoming burnout and overwhelm to get your peace of mind back. The link will be in the show notes. And in terms of solving it, today, we're going to dive into the concept of human connection and how powerful it is. So let's just start with creating an understanding of the impact that relationships and connection have on our well being. Studies have shown that strong healthy relationships are linked to better mental and physical health, along with having a reliable support system. And this can truly improve emotional health, well being, resilience, and most importantly, it fulfills the need to belong. So for us, having a sense of belonging as human beings is such a key component for leading a balanced life. And we really are inherently social creatures. Evolutionarily, the survival and success of the human species has heavily depended on our ability to form strong bonds. So in prehistoric times, early on, early humans found support and also resources within the framework of tribes or close knit social groups. Which is why we always talk about, I think there's a common idea that having a sense of tribe is so important. Now back then those tribes provided protection against external threats like predators, and also helped with the success of hunting and gathering and feeding families. And the tribe would share these responsibilities and resources. And therefore the burden was no longer on one person. And that really helped them survive. So this is how humans evolutionarily really thrive in cooperative and interconnected communities. Now, today, it's a little different, especially in the United States. People tend to often stick to themselves, they don't ask for help, houses often are not as close together. And I say this because I remember when my grandmother was alive, when she would come to visit us from India, she would feel so lonely, because the juxtaposition of living in America where everything's kind of quiet, you're on your own a lot. She was used to living in an apartment in India, where neighbors would just drop by unannounced and she was constantly socializing. So that gives me a little bit of a comparison of how maybe other countries might function. I know that's how India is, people are much more social. But in this country, people don't always have this automatic community. And that's where the work comes in. And we get to decide that we can create one, we build one. So our brains have evolved to reward us for social interactions as well, because positive social connection really triggers the release of oxytocin. And oxytocin is a hormone that really fosters trust and bonding. And that's why spending time with loved ones and belonging and being a part of a community. For me, that's my college group of friends, my medical school group of friends, a couple of residency friends, I'm close with too, although currently I'm really working on building the community where I live and trying to make new mom friends. Which is why I'm bringing this up because I want everyone to have this at the forefront of their mind. Forming strong relationships is just rewarding. And it really has been through human history for the reasons I just described. So when we have a tribe, a group of friends or a supportive community, we have a place to turn when life gets overwhelming or we're having a hard time and hopefully you build a community with people who you trust, who can have empathy for you and you for them. And who can understand what your struggles might be, and make you feel like you have people to lean on. And that connection is such a great tool, a safety net, and can help us navigate the challenging aspects of being a working mom, a mom in a demanding career. Where you're doing so much at work, and you're so busy. And then at home, you're also perhaps having the majority of the mental and physical labor at home as well. The other thing I didn't mention before, which I should have is that early on humans and tribes, they actually experienced less stress, because they had this sense of belonging and emotional support, and that contributed to their overall survival, but also reproductive success as well. I'm going to briefly break down the types of connection that human beings can have. So you got familial, friendships, and romantic. So we've got those types of connection. And what's interesting is there are a lot of preconceived notions about family where you feel like you're supposed to be the closest with your family. But sometimes, depending on how much personal growth you yourself do, you can start realizing maybe things that don't align for you that your family demonstrated, or the practices that your family had. Or maybe that your family is not supportive in certain ways, and maybe they don't meet your needs in certain areas. And as you do that, connection with others becomes that much more crucial and critical. So friends, for example, fostering those friendships can really be grounding and help you during good times and bad. And I think I said this on last week's episode, that people are often caught up with their own stuff. But if you actually reach out to your friends and tell them that you need them, more often than not, as long as they themselves, if they're going through a hard time, they're not gonna be able to show up for you. But most of the time, people will turn up for you, you just have to ask. And of course, fostering that connection, in general is really important, be it through text messages, or sending cards, or sending a gift, or that you're thinking about them, or calling people. That's really important in maintaining the friendships throughout. And then we've got romantic relationships, which especially if you're married, or have a partner, and you live with them, that's a day to day interaction that is one of the most important relationships of all. Because that's the person, especially if you have a lifelong commitment with them, that you're going to be with even after your kids leave the house, after your parents pass away. So that one probably needs the most attention and take that for granted the least. And so also you have to figure out ways to connect with your partner on a daily basis in person, know their love language, really foster that and work on good communication skills. And actually beyond that, and I'm not a relationship coach, but something that I've really come to know is that knowing who you are, where you came from, your emotional history, your baggage, why you made the decisions you've made, how you got here, and really knowing yourself and loving yourself, that is critical in building a relationship and a connection with a romantic partner. And hopefully they do the same. And then it makes it a little easier to create a connection between the two of you. So those are the types of connections and then also we've got superficial versus more intimate connections. So superficial conversation is just conversations that you have with people that you don't know, like the weather, or what trips are you taking, but things that do not really scratch beyond the surface. And I personally am not interested in doing that in my life anymore, I just find it to be not rewarding. And I feel like it's a waste of my time. And if I'm going to make friends with people, I really want to scratch beyond the surface and delve a little bit deeper than that. I mean, you can't really do that right away with people you don't know. But me personally, I'm pretty open. So I will usually be honest about my situation. And with a little bit of vulnerability, I think that welcomes people to be vulnerable as well. And granted, you don't have to overshare but if you're comfortable sharing below surface stuff, I think that's always useful in initiating a little bit more intimate of a conversation, intimate of a connection that's beyond the superficial, because that's really how we create those bonds. So now I'm going to talk a little bit about maintaining and improving these relationships. So I've got about seven tips to talk about today. Tip number one is really prioritizing communication. So this is really wonderful and not easy to do to have real conversations. Really sharing our honest thoughts and feelings while practicing kindness at the same time. And this is truly the foundation of any strong relationship. And I actually really like the Gottman Institute for little tips and tricks. It's on romantic relationships, but I also think it's applicable to other parts of our lives. Including conversations with our children, where communicating with kids and really having those lines of communication, a judgment free zone and somewhere where the kids feel safe to talk to us. That's really critical in the bond with our children as well. Tip number two, quality time. So really making time to spend with the people that you care about. So be it trips, my college group of friends has a yearly trip, same usually my med school group of friends, we meet yearly. And with other friends, I try to make time to talk them on the phone regularly or see them. If you've got a partner really plan those date nights automatic, schedule them, have playdates for your kids with friends, and try to be present when you're at home with your family and put your phone away because that is quality time and our kids will be gone before we know it. So really being present in these moments can strengthen that connection with others. Tip number three is practicing empathy and understanding. So just the idea that everyone has their own struggles, so we just never know what's going on with other people. So really try and put yourself in the shoes of your partner or friends or family and try and have empathy for them. Because this can really lead to better connection as well. And if you show up empathetically for someone else, don't expect anything in return. But oftentimes people will surprise you. And they will support you in an empathetic way. And you will receive that well. Tip number four, boundaries. They're healthy. So learning boundaries is so important. And boundaries really look like if you do this, then I will do that. So it's not about shutting other people down. It's really protecting our own personal space and our needs. And so I'll give an example of this, which is interesting. And it's come up for me recently. I realized that one of my personal triggers is when people raise their voices or when they're yelling. And one of my children has taken to shouting from time to time. So I told my child, hey, can you please stop shouting, and my child didn't listen. So then I said, hey, if you keep shouting, I'm going to have to remove myself from the room for a moment because I'm not enjoying it, and I gotta leave the room. And I set that boundary. If you do this, then I'll do that. That's how boundaries work. And I found that the shouting stopped right away, and I didn't have to leave the room. So it's really interesting when we can communicate our needs and have a plan in place for ourselves for our own mental and physical safety, given whatever scenario you want to plug into that. And boundaries in preserving our personal safety and space really help to energize us and reduce exhaustion and prevent burnout, it leads to better connection and better and healthier relationships, actually. And remember that the people who really love and care about you, they're not gonna be mad at you if you practice boundaries for yourself. Tip number five is gratitude practice. I love this one because gratitude is known as something that really boosts happiness. Research has shown that gratitude practice really leads to a happier life. And so taking time every day to reflect on the positive aspects of our lives, having gratitude for the people in our lives, having gratitude for the relationships. Really telling ourselves how grateful we are for things, that's important to really acknowledge that. But also expressing gratitude for others. And I think it's so important to let those who we care about know that while they're still around, and hopefully that way, we won't have regrets. And so practicing gratitude can definitely strengthen the connection between us and others, really strengthen that bond and have a positive ripple effect just all around. That's one of my favorite things to practice, because it's just so easy to do. And I've probably mentioned this before, but I've been practicing gratitude with my older child since he was two and a half. And now he's five and now my younger daughter, she is two and a half. So I just started practicing with her too. Tip number six is to seek help when you need it. So don't be afraid to ask for help when you're going through a challenging time, fom your partner or friends or whomever else. Really sharing your struggles can help you feel better, but also help others have a better understanding of where you are. And that leads to strengthening of relationships as well. Last but not least, tip number seven is to celebrate. And this is one of my favorites. This is not as easy to practice as gratitude. But this is one of my favorite things to do celebrate everything, whether it's a personal achievement, an anniversary, a special occasion, a birthday, whatever it is. Getting people together for these milestones, and really creating memories to reinforce the joy of life. And also you'll see that when people show up for you during these special occasions, it strengthens the bond, it strengthens the relationship, and you're going to feel really, really loved and cared for. And me personally, a shout out to all my friends, particularly the ones who have shown up to celebrate with me some of the big moments in my life and they have taken a lot of trouble to do that and my sister too actually. So I love and care for them very deeply and it has meant so much to me that they've been there for me. And so taking the time to do the celebration and celebrate really each other and each other's success, each other's growth. And I remember a good friend of mine from medical school, a dear, dear friend, she and I were talking on the phone and we were both celebrating each other's progress in life. And it was just nice to cheer each other on for the mundane things. Because I think often we just take that for granted. But that's another way to really deepen your connection with other people. And now I'm just gonna talk about a couple of client examples. I have of really strengthening connection and relationships. One of my clients who is a physician and mother of two small kids, she started incorporating her older child, her daughter, into her morning routine of just making her coffee and having her help with stuff in the morning. Now, this served a couple of different purposes. Her daughter felt important, she felt like she was connecting with her mom. And the client was also getting some help in the morning. So it just ended up everybody was winning. But she felt like through creating a couple very simple rituals with her child, she was able to foster a deeper connection, and she found her child acting out a lot less when she was doing that. So that's something to think about doing. Especially if you have younger kids, they love being involved in mundane activities. Another one of my clients, who is a pharmaceutical executive and mom of two, she took time to start playing the guitar again. And what she ended up doing was she ended up taking guitar lessons with her daughter. So that was their special thing that they were doing together. And she was able to really connect with her daughter and reignite her old hobby and make time for herself through practicing the guitar. And now I'll give you one of my own personal hacks. If my son has like a half day off from school, I try to do something with him. Be it spend time with him, run errands with him, get a meal with him, just so that we get in some quality time on a regular basis. And this is in addition to whatever day to day practices that we have like the gratitude practice or storytime or he's playing the ukulele now, he just started but I sit with him when he practices that. Because for me, academics and being disciplined are really my strong suits so I can show up for my kids in that way. Emotional intelligence is also something I'm really interested in. So we talk a lot about mindset and the ways we see the world. And we do a lot of practicing breathing for, let's say having coping skills and tools in our toolbox for any and all emotions, which are all okay to feel. So those are specific examples of my clients and me and what we've done. And I'll also add that I know a lot of you are probably thinking that cutting back work to part time is the best way to be a good mom and spend time with your kids. Well, that's not the only way to be a better mother and connect with your children. And it's okay that you think that because society has been implying for...
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Top 10 Burnout Mistakes And Solutions: How To Prevent Exhaustion & Stress
11/08/2023
Top 10 Burnout Mistakes And Solutions: How To Prevent Exhaustion & Stress
Episode 73: Top 10 Burnout Mistakes And Solutions; How to Prevent Exhaustion & Stress Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the top ten mistakes moms with demanding jobs make when it comes to burnout, exhaustion, and stress. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about solutions to these top ten mistakes so you can implement them in your own life. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: Common mistakes when dealing with burnout and exhaustion include ignoring the signs, neglecting self-care, overcommitting, and embracing perfectionism. The difficulty women have getting help and the importance of seeking support. Recognizing the need for downtime. Individualized solutions, like setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and seeking professional guidance, can assist in combating burnout. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 73. Well, hello there, I am so thrilled to have you listening to this podcast episode today. Actually, it is now suddenly freezing and cold in the Northeast. We had this day, I think last Saturday where the weather was 80 degrees. And I was outside with my kiddos, and then literally Halloween, it started getting so much colder. Anyway, I am enjoying the holiday season and just savoring this time with my children. Someone was telling me that when your kids turn around 15, they're not quite as interested in hanging out with you. So my older one is five. So I guess that gives me about 10 years left. This time is really precious, so I do my best to be present with them as much as I can. And of course, we can't control their perceptions of us. So we just do the best that we can. And I know that you, mama, are doing an amazing job because you're doing way better than your parents ever did. So take this moment to pat yourself on the back. Now I will say, one of my clients, she had found herself feeling so guilty as a mom and she was so distraught feeling like she was doing a bad job. But through working with me, we really worked on self empowerment. She was able to give herself compassion and love. And through the work we did together, she really felt like she was being an awesome mom and no longer was struggling with mom guilt. Which I know is such a pervasive issue for so many of us because we've got these careers and we're stretched so so so thin. So if you want to learn more about the work that we do inside my program overcome burnout for good check out my free masterclass or steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion for good, the link will be in the show notes, you can check it out there. So today I want to talk about the top 10 mistakes, according to me, that people make when trying to combat exhaustion and burnout. Now we know that exhaustion and burnout is just so pervasive amongst moms in general. And then moms in demanding careers because we're functioning like men at work. And then we've got all these duties at home. So you end up being spread super thin. You're juggling a bunch of different balls in the air and you feel like you're failing at it all. And on top of that you're tired, you're dragging, so forget about enjoying your life. So once you can kind of understand these mistakes, I'm going to talk about the mistakes and then why they occur. And then I'm gonna give you some solutions as well to combat these mistakes. And if you implement just one of the things that we talked about today, you're gonna see a positive effect in your life. So here we go. So the top 10 mistakes that people make when trying to deal with exhaustion and burnout is one ignoring the signs, two neglecting themselves, three overcommitting, four engaging in perfectionism, five not seeking any help at all, six not being able to manage their time or their stress, seven no work life balance, eight obsessing over problems, nine really not paying attention to the importance of some stillness, and 10 not being intentional and not evaluating priorities. So let's talk about number one, ignoring the signs of burnout. Now, the signs are fatigue, irritability, not feeling motivated. And these signs we often don't recognize because we have been trained to ignore them. And I say this as a doctor where residency and even in practice, there is no room or compassion for being tired or exhausted, you just grin and bear through it. Whether that is a 24 hour shift, or taking call all night long, or working for 10-11 days in a row, that is just normalized. So if you're exhausted or you feel burnt out, often you will not even notice it's happening. So that's basically why that's happening. Some solutions to work on this. So really checking in with yourself and seeing how you feel every morning, first thing when you wake up, that is very helpful just to see. And really listening to your mind and your body. For example, I'm on a push push mentality. That's just how I was raised. That's how I'm conditioned as a doctor and I just turned 40 in June. So as I'm living in my 40s now, I noticed that my body gets a little bit more fatigued than it used to. So I was working out five to six days a week and sometimes it if my back is sore, or my entire body's hurting, I will skip a workout that day. And maybe that's not what other people are preaching. But I have learned to really listen and give my mind and body grace. So these are a couple things you can do to really check in with yourself so that you're not ignoring what's happening. Alright, mistake number two, neglecting one's self. So the reason that so many of us do this is because we're conditioned to put the thoughts and feelings of other people in front of our own, we're often raised to be caretakers, we especially put our children above ourselves, which is okay. But what this really results in is that we neglect ourselves and we forget about what we want and what is good for us. And in that process, not only if it goes on for too long, can you really lose a sense of yourself, but this is what leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, because you're not even paying attention to your wants and your needs. And if you don't, no one will. We have to treat ourselves with love and care to really give an example to other people of how we want to be treated. So there are so many ways to go about doing this, I think the first thing is to just acknowledge that we do neglect ourselves and that it is okay to look out for ourselves or care for ourselves. And that is not selfish. And in fact, when you start to see what is healthy for you, you can be intentional and take action to do those things. So I'll give you my own personal examples. For me connecting with others on a bit of a deeper level, that is so important for me to feel like I belong in the tribe. We all need a sense of tribe, and when we lack that we lack that foundation, and then we feel alone. So connecting with those that I really care about, that is really significant to me. So I make time to let's say, connect with old friends. And actually, funnily enough, it's so funny when I'm recording this podcast, I have plans to connect with my college group of friends. So we've been friends for over 20 years, and spend some time with them, which is so beautiful. And then very last minute, a dear medical school friend of mine is in town. So I'm going to try and make time to see her today. But the point is that this is time that I'm taking away from my kids, let's say. But first of all, I'm very mindful about time away from my kids, I try to spend as much time as possible with them, as I said in the beginning of the episode, I've got 10 good years left with my son when he still wants to hang out with me. So I know that time is precious, and I try to be present and be here as much as I can. But I also give myself grace to fit in time with those other people outside of my two children that I care about, because that really makes me feel grounded, that is a part of my identity. A part of my identity is close meaningful connections and friendships, and by fostering that I get to feel fulfilled, and I get to put my best foot forward as a mother. So just give yourself some compassion and grace to take some time for yourself on a regular basis in order to fulfill yourself. And I'm not pushing self care, because a massage really isn't the end all be all, it's not going to solve your problems. But if you can figure out what is one meaningful part of the way you want to live life or your identity, and then take action to create that in your life, you're going to see that you're going to be more fulfilled, and you're gonna therefore show up better for your kids, be more patient with your kids, because you're not overextending yourself, and you're actually taking some time. So that is how to combat the self neglect mistake. All right, mistake number three is over committing. So that really comes from we're supposed to take care of everyone, maybe we were raised that way. And then it really results in feeling depleted. So this comes in the form of taking on too many responsibilities, not setting boundaries, saying yes to everything, including projects that you want nothing to do with or saying yes to hanging out with people that you don't even like, it makes no sense. And this also has to do with people pleasing as well, because you're going to do things to make other people happy, even if it's at a cost to yourself. And this kind of behavior and way of doing things really does lead to exhaustion. So one thing we can do to stop over committing is really understanding the power of no. Now, there was a New York Times article several years ago talking about the power of no and this was the first time I'd ever heard about this. And I was so shocked because I never said no to anyone for anything. And then when I became a mother, I just realized that my life was so different. And I had to manage so much more than just when I was on my own. And I really started to understand that it was important to say no to things that did not align with my priorities or the way I wanted to do things. So one thing I would say is definitely practicing no. So for me, I will never forget the first time that I said no to something. And it was at work. And I had finished my workday, I was looking forward to going home and I had an extra hour before my nanny was off to work out. And I wanted to do that, it's good for me and my mental health, etc. And one of the senior people in my group asked me to go back and see an admission, he said, can you and I said, no, sorry, I can't. And I remember feeling so guilty and so bad about it. And I think he ended up seeing the patient that day, because he lives near the hospital anyway, I'm about a half hour away. But it was fine. Like he didn't care and it was no big deal. I don't think it was much sweat off his back. But it was a huge deal for me to say no. So once I started understanding, saying no, I got so much more comfortable with it. So really say no. And I would start with people who you're not related to like relationships that are not as close because it's not as scary to do that. Also just learning to delegate lower value responsibilities, like errands, for example, if you can have someone help you with those. Or you don't have to be doing some of the stuff that doesn't bring you joy, I would suggest doing that so that you're not over committed. Alright, mistake number four is perfectionism. And I talk a lot about this on the podcast. I've had episodes on this because we are conditioned to be perfect. And that is insanity. Because to err is to be human. And I've said this quote before, but it's so critical to remember that being human means that we make mistakes, and we're never going to be perfect. So if we strive for perfection, we're always going to be unhappy. And the perfectionism comes from a really young age and just the way the school system, they give us tests and in South Asian families, like in my family, if I got a 98, where are the other two points, like everything had to be perfect. And as an adult, it's not helpful to be this way. Even if this served us to do well in school or excelling at work. And remember, the more we try to be perfect, and we're not going to be, then it just automatically leads to dissatisfaction. So by understanding this concept, you can start to not strive for perfectionism as much and just take it easy on yourself, give yourself grace, and realize that no one's perfect, and we can just do our best and be satisfied with that. So in terms of combating perfectionism, just being aware of it, and realizing that it is okay to make mistakes, and maybe the next time something's not perfect, I get really triggered by a lack of perfection, because that's just how I was conditioned. So when things are not perfect, I will literally just take three or four really long, deep breaths, inhale, counting to nine, exhale, counting to eight or nine, and rinse and repeat, do that a few times. And it just helps to ground me so that I can acknowledge that something being perfect doesn't matter, and then proceed to let it go. The next mistake is not seeking help. So I think women often feel like they can do tasks themselves or they feel ashamed with whatever issues they might be having. And so then they might not talk to their friends or ask for support from people. And then that just adds to the burden even more. So a few solutions for this is really, one thing to do is to reach out to friends and family. Because everyone is dealing with their own stuff and their own issues. So they're not going to sit there and think about whether you need help or not. But what I found is when I actually reach out to people, they show up for me. So I was actually struggling myself with some things a few weeks ago. And I reached out to a dear group of close friends and a couple other individuals and everybody made time to call me and talk to me and it completely helped me move through that tough time. So point being, if you actually reach out to people, often they will show up for you and you're not a burden because just think about how you would show up for them. Also, the second thing you can do is get professional help. Be it a therapist or some support, group therapy, or even life coaching. And one of my recent episodes, episode number 70, I discussed the differences between life coaching and therapy in case you're wondering about that. But those are some wondering more about the nuances and the differences between them and what would be a good fit for you. You can listen to that episode but they are also great options for moving through burnout and exhaustion. Now another mistake that people make is not really managing their stress and just kind of living without intention. So this really creates more exhaustion for all of us and makes burnout worse. So some things you can do to deal with stress. Really take time for yourself, even if it's five minutes in the morning to savor your morning cup of coffee. Have a routine, set an intention for the day, especially taking time to exercise. I make sure I exercise at least four to five times a week, and this really boosts my endorphins, and actually the breathing in cardio, like the rapid breathing, I noticed that just focusing on my breath kind of takes me out of my head. And it really helps to reduce stress. As well as learning to say no to just not take on more stuff in your life. So another mistake, an issue that people have when they're struggling with burnout is really not having clear boundaries between work and personal life. So that includes reading work emails when you've left work, talking about work constantly with other people, with your partner, and letting work bleed into personal space and relaxation. So really, it's important to set clear boundaries and give yourself deadlines and time limits for when you can engage in work stuff. Learn to unplug from technology and really have some tech free zones and tech free time. Plan things that are outside of work to really de stress and enjoy and really create more balance. Mistake number eight is obsessing over issues or future problems and ruminating over them really just is a waste of time because we can't really control the future. We can't foresee everything and obsessing over things and going down rabbit holes for days and days is just really, really draining. So that's another mistake that people make. They obsess over problems because they think that by obsessing and having anxiety over them, they can create a solution. And that's really not true. So a way to really not do this is to really practice the mind body connection. And one easy way to do this is to literally tell yourself, there is a body and notice your body. Notice how you're sitting how you're standing, the contact that you might have with your chair or your feet on the floor and feel the weight of gravity. And just notice. And this is really a grounding technique. And what it does is it helps take you away your ruminating and it frees up the brain, it gets you into your body, it breaks the cycle of obsessing. So this is great. Mindfulness meditation is awesome too, because sitting and meditating is really helpful in creating inner peace. But some people don't want to have to take time to meditate. I have a three N method that's one of my processes where you get distance from your thoughts and feelings. The first step it's really just notice. So simply noticing what your mind is doing gives you some distance, and then you're not obsessing as much. And that we talk about more inside my coaching program over home burnout for good. Now the ninth mistake that people make is they are on the go, go, go go go go. And they underestimate our need for rest and relaxation and downtime. And so what this does is this often makes us exhausted because we'll burn the candle at both ends. And we're, let's say, working like crazy, doing a bunch of home stuff, helping our children, raising our children, managing our children. And on top of that, maybe we've got like a bustling social life. And if you're over scheduling yourself, it can be so exhausting, and you just don't have time to rest and recoup. And even in medicine, the culture is always push, push, push, go, go go work, work, work, regardless of how you feel. So I bring that up, because we are conditioned to not take breaks. And we're conditioned to go, go, go. And so when we do this, in general, in our personal life, this really exhausts us, depletes us, and leads to burnout and exhaustion. So ways to combat this is to first of all, be aware that you do need downtime, and really take some breaks throughout the day, give yourself time and space to do nothing sometimes. Just be with yourself, be alone sit quietly, read a book, whatever. And you could even do it for five minutes. And you're gonna tell me, I don't have time to do that. But you actually could make five to 10 minutes and just give yourself some breathing space. And so...
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Stop Feeling Burned Out By Making Your Dreams A Reality
11/01/2023
Stop Feeling Burned Out By Making Your Dreams A Reality
Episode 72: Stop Feeling Burned Out By Making Your Dreams A Reality Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how a common misconception among people who are dealing with burnout is that they have no control over their lives. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can take control of your life and make the impossible possible. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: Burnout often stems from a lack of imagination and vision, causing people to feel stuck and unable to make their dreams a reality. Self-doubt is a common obstacle. It's crucial to change your mindset, believe in your capacity to achieve your dreams, and challenge negative thoughts. Reflect on past achievements to boost self-confidence. Practical strategies to make your dreams come true. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Sign up for this powerful vision breakthrough today…a limited time offer until the end of this year: Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 72. Hello there. Thank you so much for being here today. Halloween, probably when you're listening to this will have already passed. I hope you had a great time with your children and maybe even dressed up yourself. I recently attended a Halloween party, it was really interesting, met all kinds of people. And that was fun for me. And now I am preparing to do Halloween with my two little ones. So today I want to talk about basically making our dreams come true. And I say that because one of the greatest contributors of burnout and exhaustion is really a lack of imagination and a lack of vision. And so many people, they don't think that the things that they want are realistic, and they're busy with the day to day grind, forgetting really about the larger picture and wishing that they could have the things they want or that they can make their dreams come true. And without being able to feel the possibility of our dreams coming true, this can really leave us feeling trapped and stuck. And that is even more, right, like that resonates with exhaustion and dissatisfaction. A client of mine prior to working with me, she's a doctor and she really wanted to cut down on hospital medicine. She wanted to cut back at work by one day a week. And she really thought that this desire was totally impossible that it was a pipe dream. However, through working with me, she really realized that what she thought was impossible was actually possible. And through really creating a vision of what she wanted for herself and finding her voice and building her confidence to really tap into that voice because she felt her voice was small for so long and that nobody was listening. Through this work, she made her dreams a reality. So what she thought was impossible when she started working with me was actually possible and she made all of that happen. And now she has way more free time back she's really able to dedicate some time to herself and she's so much more satisfied at work. Burnout and exhaustion are way back in the rearview mirror for her, they are a thing of the past. If you too want to ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all, tune into my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion for good to get your peace of mind back. The link will be in the show notes. Now the other thing is one of the biggest mistakes we make is believing that we have no control over our lives or believing that our desires are really unrealistic and cannot become a reality. But the magic of coaching really dispels this and some of my secret sauce is really showing my clients that the impossible is possible. So we're going to talk about unlocking your potential and realizing that you can make your dreams come true. We'll explore how you can transform your life and make the impossible possible today. And the first step to doing this work is having a change in belief, which is also pretty much like having a mindset shift. We often underestimate the power of our thoughts, but believing that you have the capacity to achieve your dreams and acknowledging that the impossible is just a challenge waiting for you to make it happen. So we can actually cultivate beliefs, like belief in ourselves, belief that our dreams can come true in spite of whatever circumstances we're dealing with. Now, circumstances basically are just neutral things outside of us. For example, where we live, or our spouse, or our job. So we can make our dreams come true in spite of whatever is existing in our life. And something else we do in doing this is to step into who we are and really owning our own power. Just like my clients do, they start taking baby steps and find their voice to advocate for themselves. And in doing so they start making their dreams come true. And so this also involves ditching limiting beliefs, which are really beliefs that hold us back. Like beliefs where we're thinking, I can't do this, this is impossible, this is never gonna happen, so and so's never gonna let me do this. And instead, replacing them with power statements or empowering beliefs, which are more like I can do this. I can do anything I put my mind to. Just step by step, day by day, I'm getting the life that I want for myself, I'm in the process. So if you can think about what your thoughts are and how you can start shifting your beliefs to get yourself started on your dream life, you're going to be well on your way. Another barrier that really comes up for moms like us, professional moms, is having self doubt. So really being able to overcome self doubt and build the confidence that you need to chase your dreams. Because self doubt will creep in with negative thoughts and simply learning to challenge them, that is how we start to combat these thoughts. So if you are in doubt, think of all of the things you have achieved up until now. So this is how we're crushing self doubt. Now pause this and make a list of five to 10 dreams that you have made come true in your life. And think about the time when you thought that these dreams, that came true now, there was a time where you thought they were impossible. So for me, this was actually getting into medical school, I really thought that was impossible. And I totally made it happen. And that was really because I decided I was going to do it. And I was not going to let anyone get in my way. And I made that dream a reality. And the power of my mindset is really what got me through before I even knew beliefs and mindset stuff, before I even knew anything about them. Now take these past experiences, the dreams that you made come true that you once did not think were possible, right? Because that shows you that whatever dreams you think right now are not possible are possible. So use these to fuel your belief in yourself. Soak in that power, feel how powerful it is to really grab your life and create what you want. And you have that ability. You can do it because you are a powerful woman, you're smart, you can really do anything that you put your mind to. So now take a minute to think of one dream that you want to make a reality, one dream that you want to make come true. Then think of how you would feel once that dream is achieved and begin to step into that feeling, that future self feeling. How would your future self feel? What would she even look like? How would she be dressing? And really just take some time every day to feel that feeling and visualize yourself succeeding in that dream that you would want to make come true. So visualizing can really help rewire our brains to believe that our dreams are a reality. And then we're taking the action to actually make them happen. But our brain pretty much doesn't really know the difference between what we're telling it and reality. So this is actually really useful in creating the life that we want for ourselves. So then once you are able to do this visualization, and I suggest doing it every single day, maybe first thing in the morning, that's a fun time to do it. Then decide the next step that you can make, the actual action you can take to move the needle towards that dream. And then you go ahead and you take that action, you could reach out to a friend as an accountability partner or even hire a coach. And there are just so many ways to go about doing this. So you have to make some practical steps for making these dreams a reality, creating a roadmap. And then by setting clear goals and breaking them down into steps, you're gonna see your dreams happening along with really that belief piece and that feeling of what you would feel like once you achieved it, that you made that dream come true. So actually, I'm going to tell you something brand new and special that I'm offering from now until the end of the year, I cannot believe we basically have November, December and then the year is over. So I think that this is a really fun way to set up the year of 2024. I myself usually do a year in reflection and I'll plan on delving into that before the year ends. But right now I'm offering a powerful vision breakthrough, so you don't want to be left out of this. This is really the ultimate transformation to jumpstart your dreams and it is a very brief, tiny way to work with me. It's cheap and it is not that time consuming. It's just like a bite size way to start off 2024 in an amazing way. So if you're ready to finally break free from limiting beliefs, your own limitations, your self doubt, and embrace a life of endless possibilities okay, because the impossible is possible. My clients, they come to me thinking that so many things that they want, they can't have and through our work together we go from exhaustion to truly their best life. Now the work we do inside my program makes the pipe dreams a reality. So many of my clients have come to me wanting a different role or even to cut back at work. And we make that happen. Even when they think it's impossible. So for the first time I am offering a sneak peek of the magic of coaching, what so many of my clients have experienced, and you can now do this for just a limited time at a super reduced price and this offer, you're gonna figure out your dreams and that they're closer than you think. You're gonna get thinking outside the box. We're going to tap into your potential. Show you how the impossible can become possible. We're going to create a detailed step by step plan and roadmap to get you to where you want to be. You're going to have complete clarity on what you want and where you're going. You're going to have a 60 minute one on one coaching call with me, dive deep into your aspirations and challenges. We're going to talk all about you, and I'm going to support you, you're going to have one week of Voxer access to me, stay connected with me get the support you need, send me messages, send me questions, and you're going to receive coaching from me in return. And you're also going to have immediate access to the first part of my coaching program overcome burnout for good, which phase one, its alignment, and you'll get the vision and other thought work in there. Also, a week after your initial session, you're going to get a follow up call with me where we'll check in on your progress and I can provide additional guidance. And I'm offering this only for $249. Really, don't let life pass you by, don't have regrets. Start taking action, start making your dreams a reality. And I know this may sound like a stretch but it's totally not. My clients and I are doing this every single day. So I know you can too. Space is limited. So book this session today. I'm going to put a link in the show notes so you can do this bite sized package with me that's going to have a profound impact to get your 2024 started on an incredible foot. So I want to thank you for tuning in today. There's my new offer, that's limited for now and I will talk to you next week.
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Coping With Life's Challenges By Being Human
10/25/2023
Coping With Life's Challenges By Being Human
Episode 71: Coping With Life’s Challenges By Being Human Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how important it is to be kind to oneself as well as the conflict between cultural expectations and human nature. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how to treat yourself with compassion as you would with your children. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: The power of being human: We’ll discuss the importance of giving ourselves grace and compassion for being human. Overcoming Societal Expectations: Dr. Prianca shares personal experiences of growing up in a culture that values external achievements, appearance, and conformity. Personal Transformation: How making life choices that align with one's inner values and needs, even if they go against societal norms, can lead to greater freedom, peace, and happiness. Permission to Be Imperfect: View life as a journey with natural ups and downs, and understand that mistakes and non-conventional choices are part of being human. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 71. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I'm so happy to have you as a busy professional mom listening to this podcast episode. I know time is limited. So I'm grateful to have you here and I'm wishing you a good holiday season as all the holidays are starting to come upon us. So a little bit about what we do inside my program. A client of mine was actually recently telling me that she got exactly what she wanted in terms of her work schedule and her role, because before working with me, she did not even think that was possible. She's a physician, she was able to cut back on hospital medicine and actually get more part time work through finding her voice and advocating for herself. And it's just incredible how something that felt like a pipe dream is now a reality and now she's got better work life balance and really feels like she can breathe again. And I love hearing stories like hers because they really are a testament to the work that we do inside my life coaching program, overcome burnout for good. Because this work, it works. And so if you want to take your life back, get more time be done with mom guilt so that you're totally present for what matters at home, definitely check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcoming burnout and exhaustion once and for all. The link will be in the show notes. Now today I'm going to talk about something extremely personal and vulnerable in my journey because I know that this is going to be so beneficial for you. So here we go. A major way to cultivate inner peace is really through giving ourselves grace and compassion for being human because that's what we are. We're human beings and human beings, by nature are fallible, To err is to be human. That's a pretty famous quote. And I really want to dive into this today. Because being human was not a thing when I was growing up. It's actually not a thing, being human, in my line of work as a doctor either. And so I'll elaborate. I'm going to talk about my personal life in the context of the culture in which I grew up, which is South Asian culture. But I'm also very sure that a lot of what I'm going to talk about here today is applicable to other cultures and other upbringings. So in my culture, external success and perfection are expected. Now obviously perfection doesn't really go with being human. So there's conflict right there. Achievements are extremely important and emphasized along with what aunties and uncles, so basically aunties and uncles are your parents, friends, you call everyone auntie and uncle out of respect. So aunties and uncles are asking questions of your parents about what you're doing in life, what college you're going to, and all the external stuff, because everyone's comparing, and everyone's competing, and that is so inherent in the culture. Now, personal satisfaction, or effort or the journey or mental well being are not really acknowledged, they're not a thing. And I almost think of it as being expected to be a robot, which obviously, being a robot is also in conflict with being human. So when you start to understand these expectations, and external things, the emphasis of importance on them, you can start to see how they don't really belong in being human. Like they're just so the opposite, that you can see how there might be some inner conflict or inner dissonance when this is what you're used to. So going to an Ivy League school, for example, that's expected. And if that expectation isn't met, you're an automatic failure. And I hate to say that I did feel that way going to Wash U in St. Louis, though it was ranked pretty high when I entered starting college. Furthermore, there are only a few professions that are acceptable to choose as your career, doctor, lawyer, get your MBA or graduate degree, marry someone similar, and life will be good. Also going to college is a basic and that's nothing to be proud of. You can be proud once you've met the above expectations and gotten married and had kids. Wrong. This is very formulaic, and so in the messiness that is life, this in reality does not play out well. The humanity is nowhere in this. Very robotic. So in Indian culture, I'm gonna give you another example. This is fairly common, where are the other points, you'll receive that feedback when you get let's say, a 97%, or 98% on an exam, never good job because you're supposed to be perfect. And this is a very common story. I experienced this myself and I also have heard this from other Indian kids who grew up in this country. So I'm sure many can relate to this journey, that the effort doesn't matter. It's the finished product you have to produce and that's what some important. So when you're raised that way, imagine what happens when you're not producing, how you feel on the inside. Also, emotions weren't really a thing or acknowledged growing up. And people just kind of move on from whatever it might be, especially a negative emotion. On top of that, in terms of my career, in the field of medicine, as a doctor, you are not allowed to be human, you're not allowed to make a mistake at all, and you have to be perfect. And if you do make a mistake, you can get sued. And it's a pretty big stressor, headache, and hassle. So this is ridiculous. And I bring these examples up to show that a lot of this is just not congruent with being human. So for me being human was not a thing, and neither has been giving myself grace. So this is something I've really had to learn and to teach myself, and I'm always working at it. And I, of course, teach my clients to do this, too. Now, the stories run so deep regarding my success, or my perfectionism, that I really, really struggle when things are not perfect. And this actually goes from really small things like cookie crumbs on the counter to larger things like maybe not making as much money as I could be making at work. So I do a lot of work on noticing and letting go. And then I teach my clients to do this too, because that is really where we can start embracing being human and letting go of imperfections. And what's funny is, I'm really able to give my kids all kinds of grace for being human, being as they, are loving them unconditionally, applauding them for their efforts, telling them that they're learning and growing from everything, mistakes are no big deal because we are human. And it's totally okay to be imperfect. So I can do that super easily. And then I try to take that compassion and put it towards myself. So I really want you to take a moment to think about how you see your children, and how gentle you probably are with them. And if you're not gentle, I guess why? But if you are having a more gentle attitude towards your kids than you have yourself, see if you can transpose some of that attitude towards yourself. Because that is how we start to chip away at our perfectionistic tendencies, our type A tendencies, because those tendencies are really detrimental to our well being. So see if you can take some of that compassion and flip it on to yourself. So a little bit more about my culture and how I grew up. It really emphasizes the exterior, the external stuff, your weight, for example. This is constantly commented on when I was growing up, you've lost weight, are you dieting, you've put on wait, you look healthy, what happened to your face, I mean, I have a pimple. That's what happened to my face. Like these questions were a reality growing up, like so much emphasis on what you look like, and the outside. I mean, I look back on this. And I think that's completely crazy. Like I remember dreading seeing certain family members after a long period of time and being nervous that they were going to comment on my weight. But this is the reality, external stuff being valued. If that happened to you think about how that affects you today. And that effect is so much more profound than we give it credit for, really. I would even take time to pause this podcast episode, and really brainstorm a few things that were external and how emphasized they might have been in your childhood. And once you think about that really take time to think about how that's affecting you today. So on top of looks, and the external, the other really emphasize thing is your CV or your resume. And that's just important for how you're valued as a person, or even when you're dating. There's something called bio data, which is a really Indian thing where people put on Indian dating websites, their bio, meaning all their achievements. And that is how, you know, matches are made. How big your house might be, the college that you went to, being a doctor, being a certain kind of profession, having money, being married, staying married, all expectations, and if you aren't perfect in these areas, you're going to feel insufficient. You're gonna feel not good enough, and that feels pretty shitty. And that can be so dark. And that's why I'm talking about it today. Because I feel like these are the things that nobody talks about. And we have to talk about them. We have to bring them to the surface so that we can start acknowledging them, seeing how they're affecting us, and take action accordingly. So as I get older, I'm starting to realize that the exterior, the external, it really doesn't matter. What matters is what's going on inside our minds, inside our hearts inside our souls inside the house. What's going on inside your house, that's what really matters, not what other people are seeing or they think it's what you are experiencing moment to moment, day to day, that's what matters because it's your precious life, and you deserve to be peaceful and happy. So I've made two major changes in my life that are against the grain, they're outside the box, they're definitely not in line with any of the stuff that I mentioned. One is pursuing my life coaching business. Now, that's not in line at all with what an acceptable South Asian career is. And a divorce, which is also not accepted and super taboo. In fact, it took me about a year after filing for divorce, to even be able to talk about it without feeling tremendous shame. And it's nothing that anyone said to me, it's just the way I was raised, that divorce is not a thing. But I had to do what was right for me and my family. And the crazy part about this, about the coaching and separating from my spouse, though they were so the opposite of how I was raised, doing these things created so much freedom, peace, and happiness for me. And that kind of a home that I'm creating for my kids too that's so healthy for them. And I know this because I get feedback about my older child, that he's always smiling at school, and he's truly one of the happiest kids. So my point to you is following the formula, having the good CV, having the success, having this picture perfect life on the outside, that may not and likely is not going to bring you happiness and peace. What will bring you happiness and peace is giving yourself grace to be human, and make the decisions that line up for you. Not what your aunties and uncles think, not what other people think, not what's on social media, not the pictures that you're posting, but really what's going on, on the inside. So for me, I can conceptualize that my choices are wonderful and healthy for me and my kids in terms of my career and the divorce. But then there is a dissonance inside of me too where I'm living a life way differently from how I was raised. And that's why I'm talking about this today. Because this is really internal stuff that people don't talk about. And I want you to know that whatever struggle you're dealing with, you are not alone. So of course, this dissonance inside of me, for the decisions that may not be in line with how I was brought up, that is hard, and it's painful, but it's also where being human comes in. And that's why this episode really is about being human and allowing ourselves to be human, allowing ourselves to be imperfect, allowing ourselves to make mistakes, because, and this is where this Brene Brown quote comes in and I think it's so important to think about. What we don't need in the midst of a struggle is shame for being human. So we’ve got to give ourselves grace, I give myself grace, and I adjust to a life that I didn't think would happen. Medicine as a profession, for me has been disappointing. I never expected to, have a coaching business for example, I never expected to have a divorce. But here I am, and I am enjoying my life every day, I do feel tremendously fulfilled. And I'm happy. Even though I have veered so far off the course that was set for me at a really young age. So I get to create the life I want inside of myself and externally, regardless of how I was raised, regardless of what other people think. And so do you. Because this episode really isn't about me, though I'm talking about myself. It's about you. It's about how you relate to what I'm saying. It's about how hopefully what I'm saying today, my story, my vulnerability, my truth can help you feel like you're okay in being human. And you get to make mistakes, and you get to have your journey, and you get to create whatever you want, regardless of how you were raised, regardless of what other people think. We get to be human. Success and life. They're not linear, there are natural ups and downs. And this is a part of our journey. And this is a part of being human. And it is a journey. It's not a robotic path that we follow. We get to have imperfections. Mistakes, or decisions that we make that are less than ideal, allowing that, not seeing them as a huge problem, but accepting them as a part of our learning and a part of our human journey. And the sooner we can do this and accept this, the sooner we can try to not be superhuman, and not expect that from ourselves. And therefore when we do that, we can have inner peace, inner calm, say goodbye to inner restlessness. So I'm telling this very personal tale here today because I wanted to give you the strength and the permission to do what aligns for you, regardless of how you were raised, regardless of what other people think. Your parents are not the end all be all for what's right. They're human and have made their mistakes also, and in South Asian culture, parents are really revered and their word is the end all be all, or God's Word, or you know, whatever, it's in that light. So of course, it can be very hard to see outside of that and see them as human. So just really give some thought to that as well. Whatever your desire might be, especially if it's outside of the box, you conform to, I want you to think about it. Aligning your life with what is right and peaceful for you is a key component of peace and happiness. So now we're gonna do an exercise. Think of one thing in your life you'd like to do, but you're afraid of what other people would think. Now think about how little people actually perseverate on what's going on with you. Because they're way too caught up in their own stuff. And keeping that in mind. Use that as fuel to brainstorm how you can actually do the scary, outside of the box, outside of the perfect path thing, and find some peace and joy. And when you're all freaked out about doing something that's not your cultural norm, do the following things. One: know you aren't perfect. Inherently. Two: mistakes and imperfections are going to happen all the time. So remember that. Three: work on accepting that and letting shit go. Four: start to see life as a process and journey, not a formulaic robotic thing. Five: acknowledge and know that there are ups and downs, neither of which will last forever. So when stuff gets tough, remember, this too shall pass. Six: Take a breath, slow down, and just be. Be with wherever you are, literally by breathing, focus on your breath, and count your breaths to 10 and then start again. So count the inhale, you count one, exhale, two up to 10 and repeat. So try these things that I've talked about today. And I know you will see your life start to shift to more inner peace, more calm, because that's all we want. We want to feel peace. We want to feel happiness. We don't want to deal with overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout. And really taking some time to think about these things and shift how we think and do things, that is the currency for the good life, the life that we've expected to have. Your well being, it's not a luxury, it's a necessity. So take a step towards a brighter, healthier future and apply to work with me. My program offers personalized guidance, community, and life changing tools. Book a call . You'll get clarity on your roadblocks and walk away with your burnout free roadmap. Thank you so much for tuning in this week, and I will talk to you next week.
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Life Coaching vs. Therapy In Ending Burnout For Good
10/18/2023
Life Coaching vs. Therapy In Ending Burnout For Good
Episode 70: Life Coaching vs. Therapy in Ending Burnout for Good Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the distinction between life coaching and therapy and how each approach can benefit your life. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about which approach best fits your needs and evidence of the support life coaching can bring. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: Understanding Therapy and Life Coaching: Gain a clear understanding of the differences between therapy and life coaching Benefits of Therapy and Life Coaching: Learn the unique benefits of each approach Evidence-Based Insights: Discover the positive impact of coaching on physicians through studies and clinical trials, particularly in addressing burnout and enhancing well-being. Choosing the Right Path: Guidance on how to make an informed decision when selecting between therapy and life coaching, based on individual needs and goals. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 70. Well hello there, I am so happy to have you here listening this podcast today. It is the month of Halloween so I hope you are enjoying it with your children. And I want to talk a little bit about what we do inside my program overcome burnout for good. Clients are having wins every single day, really being able to cultivate peace of mind and not go down the rabbit hole anymore, ditch overwhelm, ditch mom guilt and truly get their lives back. And if you want to learn more about this, check out my free masterclass on overcoming burnout, ditching overwhelm, and getting your peace of mind back, the link will be in the show notes. Today I want to talk about the concept of life coaching versus therapy because some of you may not be that familiar with coaching. And I will be very frank here and say that when I first started getting into coaching, I thought it was a little hokey. I actually, in the very, very beginning, as I was getting my certification, I was a little bit embarrassed because it's not an MD like one of the degrees I have, right. And I also have a master's in neuroscience. So it's nowhere to the degree of that, a life coaching certification. But what I learned is that life coaching truly has been a way for me to get results in my life that are way faster than anything in therapy. And that's why I really want to talk about defining and explaining therapy versus live coaching, and then you can see what you think might be a better fit for you, if at all. So let's talk about therapy first. It's basically a service that is offered by trained therapists, often you're gonna have MSWs, meaning people with their social work degrees, or you might have somebody who had their certification in counseling, you can get your degree in counseling, also, you can have your PhD in psychology, and they also go through exams and practical exams in preparation for their work. That is their training. And they will use things like cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, or psychotherapy. And really, a lot of the work that's done in therapy is exploring thoughts, feelings, but often it's truly delving into the past. So what are your patterns and deeper than that, though, is how did your childhood affect where you are today? And it's kind of funny, because in my culture, Indian culture, it's not okay to blame your childhood for anything. It's a very American concept. But of course, as we can acknowledge our childhoods really did shape who we became. And at some point, you get to pave your own way, which is more where the coaching comes in. But basically, therapy often dives into how our parents may have affected us or certain events created trauma in our lives, and maybe challenges. And it's not so much about problem solving, but it's really to gain a better understanding of how you got here. So where did I come from? How did I get here? And I think therapy is especially useful if you have a major challenging event. And that way you can figure out what brought you there, what is it in your past? What makes you tick, the way you tick? What were you told repeatedly as a child growing up? And so on and so forth, to really understand the context of all of your past stuff to figure out how that plays a role in today. Now, I'm going to shift to coaching a bit. Coaching is more about the now and the future. So in my program, we get a little bit into the stories and patterns that we have that are not serving us and learn to drop those stories. But essentially, coaching is thinking about where's my life right now? Where do I want it to go? And what is the roadmap to get me from where I am today to where I want to be six months from now? And so coaches really act as guides and given that the life coaching industry is growing, people really tend to have their own processes that they move through, and they take their clients through to have the specific result and that often comes from personal life experience. And so for me, I use my experience in my life and all of the things that it taught me and that's how I created my coaching program overcome burnout for good, in which I've got five modules, plus bonuses, where I walk my clients through a specific process and specific tools and strategies, really streamlined strategies that are the fastest way to cultivate peace of mind and really be out of burnout once and for all. And so why I'm so passionate about coaching is I have found that in the darkest times of my life or the most challenging or when I might feel overwhelmed, what I have learned in coaching and through my own processes, it really helps to pull me out of that place so much faster than 10s of 1000s of dollars and years of therapy ever did. So it's really, you have these efficient, streamlined ways to get you what you want in your life. And for most of my clients that's truly ditching the mom guilt, finding peace of mind, being able to be present at home with their families, leaving work at work, enjoying the lives that they've worked so hard to build. And so really having those results with a very specific way to get there. And what's really interesting about both forms of these mental health fields is that 10 years ago, even five years ago, people would never admit to going to a therapist, and yet I find now in conversations with many of my friends, they will very nonchalantly say yeah, my therapist said this or that. And it's much more accepted now to have a therapist, which is great. And so life coaching is a little bit newer, and I hope and believe that five to 10 years from now everyone will have a life coach. And they'll be talking about what their life coach said, which is awesome. So if you feel like you really want to figure out how you got here, I think therapy is the best route to do that. But if you more really have a place where you want to go and you're having trouble getting there, as in a happier life, having more peace of mind, then coaching is the way because it's much more goals oriented. You will learn how to deal with your thoughts and feelings and emotions and really be able to be present with even the negative feelings without them ruining your day to day life. And on top of that you take action to make things in your life happen. And I find that coaching really suits high achieving women and moms because we like the most efficient way to do things and coaching most certainly is that. Now I'm gonna dive into how coaching is helpful and a great benefit for physicians because physician burnout is such a pervasive issue in this country. And physicians really show symptoms of burnout at double the rate of other careers, right, and so this is going to be worse for patients, worse for physicians, and coaching really helps combat that. Actually a study in JAMA published in 2019 by the leading experts in physician wellness, they showed that coaching physicians improves overall quality of life. And actually the study examined the effect of six professional coaching sessions for 88 practicing physicians. And what they found was emotional exhaustion was decreased by around 20% in only five months. Another study published in the Permanente Journal looked at the effectiveness of coaching in physician burnout. And what they found was that coaching interventions actually reduced burnout among physicians and through coaching, the physicians were able to manage their stress, improve work life balance, and really use coping strategies. So this, of course, led to more job satisfaction and improved patient care. So we have here, right, like I've talked about studies that show the efficacy of coaching. So hopefully that shows you how great and beneficial life coaching is for all professionals, not just physicians. And my goal today was to really educate you on what life coaching is and what the benefits are. Because it's not so much out there as we understand, we're much more familiar with therapy. So definitely think about what your goals are, where you are, where you want to be, or do you want to dive into your past to figure out if therapy or coaching is a better fit for you. But what I will also say is sometimes if you do both in conjunction with each other, they're very complementary because you can figure out with therapy really delve in your past, and that helps figure out the now, and of course the future, which is more coaching. So if you want to get clarity on what's getting in your way or you want to end burnout for good once and for all get your life back book a call with me. . The link will be in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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Find Balance as a Mom with a Demanding Career with Dr. Bonnie Koo
10/11/2023
Find Balance as a Mom with a Demanding Career with Dr. Bonnie Koo
Episode 69: Find Balance as a Mom with a Demanding Career with Dr. Bonnie Koo Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she and her special guest Dr. Bonnie Koo discuss various topics ranging from how important it is to take care of your mental health to how doing so creates a positive model of behavior for your kids. Dr. Naik and Dr. Koo invite you to learn about investing time into yourself in order to build a life you don’t need a vacation from. In this episode, you will learn: Take time for yourself: This gives you time, space, and a breather to get clarity in what you want to do with your life. Get coached: Dr. Bonnie emphasizes the importance of seeking coaching, therapy, or other forms of support for your mental and emotional health. Coaching can help you understand how your thoughts create your feelings and how to navigate life's challenges. Take Solo Trips: Taking solo trips or spending time alone can be rejuvenating. Whether it's a weekend getaway or a spa resort experience, dedicating time to yourself allows for reflection and self-discovery. Start with a dinner if that’s too daunting. Focus on Emotional Regulation: Dr. Bonnie also highlights the significance of focusing on emotional regulation, especially for parents. Teaching children how to handle their emotions and modeling healthy emotional regulation is vital for their growth. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: Follow Dr. Bonnie Koo on social media: Instagram: or @wealthymommd Facebook: Website: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 69. Today I am so excited to have a special guest coming to us on this podcast, Dr. Bonnie Koo. She is a master certified life coach, physician, and founder of Wealthy Mom, MD. She's a money coach for women physicians, and a proud graduate of Barnard College and Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons. She is the host of the WealthyMomMD podcast and author of Defining Wealth for Women: Peace, Purpose, and Plenty of Cash. She currently resides in northern jersey with her family. So let's get to it and dive in. All right, I am so excited today because I have a very, very special guest. Her name is Dr. Bonnie Koo. She was actually a coach of mine, and I'm thrilled to have her here. She's been doing amazing things and really thinking outside the box, which is what I want to dive into today. So welcome, Bonnie. Hey, there. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, it's great to have you on. So I wanted to ask you, I know you're a dermatologist by trade, what really led you to becoming a coach? Yeah. So I'm just laughing because like, it was not what I was expecting. I think that's the story for a lot of us. It's not like we were like, let's go to medical school or whatever career and then let's just change your mind a few years into it, right? Like, I don't think any of us had that goal. And so, I mean, the short story is that I was learning about money just for myself, because I realized I had no idea what I was doing. And then I was in a Facebook group of other physicians and it was for money, specifically. Just a community group where people were helping each other out. And then I noticed that I was answering all the questions, and then people started tagging me, this was just fun for me. And then someone was like, why don't you start a blog? And so I did. And then it just went on from there. And then I just started getting asked to speak. And then I started working with a coach because to me, this was just a hobby. And then eventually, I got to the point where I had to either let it go, because I just had my son who's now six or make it a business, although there's obviously a lot of options in between, but those were the two options in my head. And then at some point, I just decided, it wasn't like there was a specific reason if I'm perfectly honest, I was like, why not? The worst that can happen is that it fails and I'm still a doctor. Yeah, being a physician is not a bad fallback career, I suppose. I'm sure people are thinking that. Okay. So the personal development is the hobby, right? Which leads you to something that you're really enjoying, and then you make a decision to monetize it. So what I think is really remarkable here, and why I really wanted to have you on the podcast is what gave you the courage to step out of that box, because there is pretty much, with or without people acknowledging it, there is kind of a box that physicians are put into or whatever box you might be in, in your culture, and just having the guts to step outside of that not really knowing what comes next. Yeah, that's a great question. I think for me, I started meeting other people doing similar things. And so there's a conference called fincon, it's like in the fall of every year, it's probably like, happening this week or last week. And it's where all the people in the finance media world come together. And so I started to just meet other people who are doing this, including other doctors, there were a few other doctors. So I think just having that community, it was small, but just other people doing it. So like, I wasn't the only like weird and crazy person doing this. I think that was helpful. And then honestly, working with a coach, like she helped me navigate the decision. And then once I decided to do a business, she helped me figure out what I could or couldn't do. And she also pointed out some things that maybe I wasn't thinking of, she's like, you have basically been building an audience for the past two years, not like on purpose, but just because I've been just helping people. And so she was like, you're in the perfect position to monetize it, if you want. And then I was like, okay. So it's interesting. And then I took all these courses on how to learn how to run a business, because I didn't have any business skills. And so why would I Google it myself? I feel like a lot of people do this. I'm like, why would I Google it like people already know how to do this. I'm just gonna learn from them. I don't know if I'd describe it as courage. I think again, it's like being surrounded by these people. So it was almost like normalized that you can do this. But what's really fascinating in life in general, is that a lot of us think that, especially physicians, you go to college, you go to med school, you pick a speciality, you go into residency, maybe fellowship, and then you work and then it's going to be a steady income, and all the steps are there. So it feels so certain, even though you do have to pass the boards and do a lot of steps along the way. So it isn't actually certain but this false sense of certainty that we have in our careers, as opposed to being an entrepreneur, which just by nature is much more shaky, and it's more obvious that step A is the opposite of certainty. Exactly right. So it's a lot of trial and error or failing forward or any of those concepts. So that is why I bring up the courage piece. Where of course, stepping into the unknown pretty much we're doing that all the time. We have no control over what the future holds. Right, but at the same time doing something that's so different from what you're used to, or what you've been taught, or what you thought your life was going to be, and really just going for it, I think is really inspiring for people like, and that's why I say courage because for many people staying in the status quo, no matter how boring or dissatisfying or even malignant and might be, they'll stay there because they're terrified of the change. So yeah, can you relate to any of that, or can you elaborate on? Yeah, well, here's a few things that I didn't mention. So two things is I had a different career before medical school, I was a non traditional student, I worked at Morgan Stanley, not in finance, but I worked in IT. And so I didn't have this like identity of just being a student. So I think that's part of it. The second thing is right after college, I did some pretty intense personal development work. And so I say that because I think I was already sort of more open minded that things can change, and that people do this, if that makes sense. Like, I'd forgotten about it. And I feel like I regressed during medical training. But I think that's also why when I started working with my first coach, it was just really clear to me like, oh, yeah, remember this work, and just how fun it is to always be growing. Because I think what happens is, whatever career you choose, you become stagnant at some point, right? Because like in med school, it's like, we're learning all these new things, and you have residency, you're learning all these new things. And the first year or two of being attending is also exciting, right? And I feel like a lot of doctors get bored after like, three to five years, sometimes earlier. Well, there's nowhere to go. The beauty of medicine is it is a steady job. People will always need doctors. But at the same time, there's not that much upward growth, like you're a doctor and you're doing the same thing more or less, unless let's say you're managing your practice, and maybe you work less, or maybe you become an entrepreneur on the side, but just straight being a doctor, you're going to do the same thing in your 10th year that you're doing in your first or second year. And that, I agree, like you kind of just hit like a plateau there and you aren't really growing in your career, per se. Yeah. And I think that's when a lot of people get. They talk about the seven year itch and marriage, but I feel like it's more like a three to five year itch in medicine. I think people look around and are like, oh, is this it? Because I think we all thought like once we became attendings that we would live happily ever after, basically. And then we learned that's not a thing, and then we're really disappointed. Correct. And then the beauty is you have the steady income. And sometimes you can, well that's the work that you do, which feel free to talk about that. Like so, you have the money. And then what do you do with it? You have the luxury of maybe making your money work for you? Yeah, I mean, so I coach people on money. But what I realized after doing this for some time is it's not just about the money because you can have all the money in the world. But if you're an unhappy person, it doesn't matter. Right, you can take nicer vacations and eat at Michelin star restaurants, I guess, right? So I really try to teach my clients money is a tool to help you do things, it is very useful, obviously. But also money is not going to make you happy. And because we all know that technically, but we really think we'll be happier with money, like certain things are possible. And certain things are more fun. Like I love traveling first class, like I definitely am happier while flying first class, right? Like, there's no doubt about that. But those experiences alone aren't going to make my life rich and fulfilled. So I really try to help my clients do a little bit of both. And that's mainly from like the coaching because once you get coached on one area of your life, it kind of filters into other areas of your life. I was laughing about the first class business class flying, laughing silently, but what that brought up for me was that those kinds of experiences are transient. Right? So money might buy you that but that comes and it goes but a lack of money, I think also can create a lot of stress that will make you unhappy. Yeah. Well, so I don't know exactly who your listeners are. Are they mostly physicians or high income women? It's pretty much career driven, high achieving, working moms. I mean, pretty much everyone listening is not going to struggle with basic needs that money provides, right. And so I'm sure you've heard of a study that over a certain amount of money adjusted for where you live doesn't increase happiness, right? Obviously, if you don't have money to buy food, being able to buy food is definitely going to increase. It's not even happiness. It's like, just be not worrying about those primal things you need to live right. But yeah, after a certain amount of money, like it doesn't do as much as we think except for flying first class. And the fancy meals, which by the way, I feel like the fancy meals that are curated and they look beautiful on the plate. I always leave those places hungry, wanting a piece of pizza. Like if you've ever been to 11 Madison Park, or you know they do these, well, that's a bajillion courses. But if you go do like a lesser version of that, like three courses, of like bite sized food, and then I'm leaving craving more, having spent how much money. It's funny. I just went to France a few months ago, Paris specifically and I don't think I enjoy fancy food as much as I used to. To me it was like it's about the food. It's also the experience and I'm not sure if I enjoyed it. Maybe I'm just getting older and I'm just not used to going out as much as I used to. But basically what I'm saying is I don't need to go to a fancy two or three Michelin star restaurant, they tend to be kind of stuffy anyway, you know. And I feel like you know, a bit more of a modern hip restaurant is more my style now. I agree. During COVID, when I didn't go to restaurants, after people started emerging, I remember being really appreciative of service. But now I'm at a point where I think most of like the fancy meals, it's the same thing like every single time. So it does start to lose its novelty. And then you're kind of just looking for the quality of food, rather than the fanfare of it all. So something I wanted to also ask you is, what do you think would be useful for the exhausted burnt out professional moms, in terms of if they're on the precipice of making a change? What advice would you give them? Wow, there's so much. Well, I think the first thing is to take care of yourself, right? Because all those things you described is mostly a result of just not prioritizing themselves. So I think there's a lot of work in that, right. And women, we're basically socialized to be caretakers. And even if you don't have kids, that extends to just the people around you, maybe your parents, etc, right? Maybe in your culture, too. But in my culture, or a lot of other cultures, like you want to have a daughter because a daughter takes care of you, the sons don't. Right, have you heard that before? Yes, of course, in general, cultures, letting men walk away scot free from so many things that they could actually be contributing to including caring for your parents. Right? Yeah. So I think there's a lot of that. And I think it's even way more exacerbated if you're a parent, because you're just giving so much to your kids. And that has a toll on you. Because then I see a lot of women, they feel like they don't even know who they are anymore. Because they've just been giving, giving, giving. And then obviously, depending on your work circumstances, and whether you've gone through a divorce, there's obviously a lot of things that can cause stress. And so I would say number one is really take care of yourself. I actually taught a lot of my clients be willing to go part time and work less. But of course, they're always like, Well, what about money, right? They don't want to make less money. I was like, listen, money circumstances are temporary. And part of me is like, you might need to go part time or even take a sabbatical in order to a) recoup. And then what if that's necessary to actually make more money? That's something people don't consider, because they're so focused on like, well, if I work part time, that means I make less money. In the short term, yes. But then the thing is, you don't have headspace to think about things or be creative, or to even think about having a side gig when you're burned at both ends, you know? Absolutely. So I'm really intrigued by that. I love that concept that you're mentioning, what's the strategy behind that? Like, how do you coach your clients who you're saying, hey, maybe go part time, maybe take a sabbatical? What does that look like in reality? And how are you helping women to actually do this? Because that sounds really scary. And I'm sure many women are listening to this thinking, yeah, that's great and everything, but no, thanks. You know, they're all freaked out. Yeah. So part of it is looking at their money to see what's going on. The thing is, most of my clients aren't going to go broke. Like when I say go broke, like, they're not going to not be able to feed their kids or their family if they take some time off. Most of them will just go part. I mean, it's all different. To be honest, the thing is, even when you're doing a sabbatical, there are so many options to make money. Like you can just do like a per diem or locums. Right, I think you do something like that. So it's not like you turn the money faucet completely off. But it's like, how can we create more space and time and for some people, it's like literally just working one less day a week at their current job or, again, as physicians, there are a lot of options, expert witness work, etc. So it's not like you have to completely turn off the money income, but then it's also getting their money in order. Because the goal is to be in a position where if your job income stops, there shouldn't be a catastrophe in a month or two, right? Yes, exactly. It's more, I think, just the idea of slowing down the incoming and what am I doing about the outgoing, that people just kind of freeze and have a fight or flight moment during that conversation. I think they also have to realize that what they're doing now is completely unsustainable. If you think about the decrease in income being temporary, you could think of that as like the investment in yourself to get better, and to build a life where you're not going to need a vacation from right. Yeah, we need time and space to actually create and have thoughts flow. Because when you are in the day in and day out, day to day grind, you're just surviving. So there's very little room to actually transform or grow during that time. What else besides the part time work would you add to your advice for busy exhausted mothers? Well obviously getting coached. And I'm not just saying that as a coach, but also as a client. Like I don't know if you're getting coached actively right now, Prianca, but like people always. Actually I was just doing a call with someone and they were like, surprised that I was still getting coached on stuff. What I've learned from that is, I think people think, whether it's for themselves or looking at other coaches, that we get to a point where our brains are just beautiful inside and like there's no negative thoughts and like, I can handle anything and that kind of thing, unfortunately, yeah, we're human. Yeah, we're still human. Like, I'm working with a parenting coach now and like. Oh, that's cool. I would say parenting it's like the hardest job in the world right? And the most important too. I feel like most people feel like for me, my job as a mom is the number one job even though I spend a lot of...
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The Fastest Way To Make Hard Decisions
10/04/2023
The Fastest Way To Make Hard Decisions
Episode 68: The Fastest Way To Make Hard Decisions Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how we make hard decisions and the most efficient strategies to deal with them. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can identify and face the fears that are holding you back in order to create the life you want for yourself. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: Mastering the Art of Decision-Making: Gain valuable insights into the decision-making process and learn strategies to overcome analysis paralysis. Discover how facing your fears head-on can lead to more confident and intentional decision-making in your career and life. The Definition and Power of Fearing Forward: Explore the concept of "fearing forward" and the transformative impact it can have on your life. Hear real-life examples of individuals who faced their fears head-on and reaped the rewards of courage and resilience. Understanding Fear as a Survival Mechanism: Delve into the psychology of fear and how it has evolved as a fundamental aspect of human survival. Gain insights into how our brains process fear and why it sometimes holds us back in modern society. Unlocking Greatness Beyond Fear: Uncover the immense potential that lies on the other side of fear. Learn how stepping out of your comfort zone, whether it's leaving a job, making a life-changing decision, or facing personal challenges, can lead to a life filled with fulfillment and happiness. Don't miss this episode, where we discuss these topics and provide practical steps to help you overcome fear and make empowered decisions in your life. Join us as we explore the journey to authentic and intentional living. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 68. Welcome to this podcast episode. I am so excited to have you here today. If you've been listening, thank you so much for tuning in. And if you're new, welcome, welcome. It is now getting cold in the Northeast, school is majorly in session. I actually went to a back to school night at my older one's school, it was so beautiful and his teachers are so enthusiastic and it's wonderful. And his kindergarten teacher teaches the kids on how to speak up for themselves, how to really advocate for themselves, and to have boundaries. And I know that I'm sure you feel the same way I do, I wish I had been taught that when I was young because it's so useful, right? Because so many clients come to me struggling with boundaries and really finding it hard to be confident in themselves and having a hard time making decisions, which is really what brought me to today's episode topic. And the work we're doing inside my program overcome burnout for good is so remarkable. Clients are just having breakthroughs every single day. And one of my clients actually was telling me, she's a doctor and a mom of three young kids, and she really felt like she was struggling with balancing everything, juggling it all, feeling like she was drowning. I'm sure that sounds familiar to you. But through working with me, she was really able to find balance in her career and able to manage stress and anxiety so much easier and being able to cultivate peace of mind in any given moment. And with her I think it was especially tough because she had premature twins. And so she really had to work hard on cultivating peace when her baby twins might get sick, you can imagine the newborn phase and it really can be anxiety inducing. So cheers to her, kudos to her for doing the hard work that we do and really reaping the benefits. And to learn more about this process that we use inside my program, I encourage you to sign up for my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion once and for all. The link will be in the show notes. Now let's dive into today's topic, which really is about how we make hard decisions. And hard decisions really arise when we are afraid. Like they'll sit there, these decisions we have to make, they loom in the back of our minds. They're pending, they're definitely draining us of time and energy and brain space. And so they're difficult, right. And often the reason they're difficult is because they are tied to fears. So we're going to talk about the concept of fearing forward. Now this is my own concoction, my own concept, fearing forward, but basically fearing forward is facing our fears, indecision, and moving forward anyway. So moving forward, in spite of our fears is fearing forward. And there's a famous quote by Franklin D Roosevelt, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Okay, so just remember that. So I'm guessing maybe you find yourself afraid of making decisions, doing certain things, but you are underestimating yourself, you are underestimating your own power. And the reason you're doing this is it's basically a safety mechanism. So this safety mechanism of fear in our brains is really a fundamental part of human survival. And fear is an emotional and a physiological response that has evolved over millions of years. And its purpose is to protect us from potential threats and dangers in our environments. And that's a good thing, right. So here's how this works just so you kind of know how your brain is functioning. So our brain perceives a threat or danger, and then we're going to sense that through our senses, seeing hearing, smelling, or through cognitive processes, like thoughts and memories, and then that's going to activate the amygdala. Now stay with me, this is a little scientific, you have to remember, I'm a physician. So this is of course, how my brain tends to think, and I think it's good for us to understand what's going on at baseline. And that's how we can really work with it and take action to counteract some of these things that are not helpful. So the amygdala in our brain really processes fear and emotional responses. And so when we perceive a threat, the amygdala is going to send signals to the hypothalamus, the brainstem, other parts of the brain, and you're gonna get a release of stress hormones in response to this signal that the amygdala is sending out. And when we get the release of stress hormones, like adrenaline, cortisol, this really gets our body into the fight or flight mode. And so that's when you're going to feel the anxiety, right? So this of course, is going to get our heart rate going, have us feeling more alert, maybe increasing your breathing, increase blood flow to muscles, and the design of this is to help us react quickly to any perceived threat. So of course then in response to the fear, our brain is going to trigger a behavioral response. So that would be fleeing from the threat, fighting to protect ourselves, and then of course these fearful experiences are going to be etched into our memory so that we can use it for future similar situations. And over time, we learned to associate certain cues or situations with fear. And these really show up in today's world as triggers. Back in the day this was very useful, of course, when you're out in the forest scavenging and you gotta run from a wild animal, right. But as much as the safety mechanism is so crucial for our survival, in the contemporary world, in today's life, this can become problematic because what we end up doing is we've got certain stories in our minds, we've got our childhood memories, which shaped us, and then we've got certain triggers that can trigger us into stress and anxiety. And if we don't know that this is happening, it puts us down rabbit holes, it stresses us out more, it makes us scared when maybe we don't need to be. So fears can come in all shapes and sizes. Now smaller fears. I had a client one time she was telling me how she was brave and she faced her fear of going to Costco on a weekend with two small kids all by herself. And that was a great feat, right? Because, I'm not a big Costco person, I actually avoid grocery stores like the plague, I'd rather get my groceries delivered or pick them up. I don't love taking my kids to the grocery store because that also ends up requiring a lot of no, we can't get that no, we can't get this. And then of course, I have my own fear that I have to fight the fight of you can't have this and maybe a tantrum, maybe not. So that's an example of a small fear, right, that I'm sure you have faced. Another example of a smaller fear might be flying with your kids alone, I know that I was so afraid to fly with my children by myself, not because it was actually scary. But having anxiety about the moments of collapsing the stroller right before you get on the plane for plane side check in and not having an extra set of hands. And at that time, I remember my baby wasn't walking yet. So just the idea of I had to put her in the carrier while I did this so that she wasn't crawling around on the floor. So it was a minor logistical nightmare. But these are the kinds of fears that we have, and then we face them and everything is okay. So these are kind of smaller fears. Now, larger fears are, you know, fear of leaving a job, fear of leaving a partner, or a spouse, or a marriage, or moving cities. And these fears are bigger ones and not facing these fears, the big and the small, can really keep us stuck. And on the other side of facing our fears is truly greatness, because the status quo is so much easier to just do even if you're unhappy. Or even if you're miserable, or you just feel like this is not the life you wanted for yourself. That's where the unhappiness and the crappiness of life lies. When we're just kind of hanging in there in the status quo. But when we start to do the scary thing, that is when life becomes so, so wonderful. And the courage is there in each and every one of us. And we do have the power to change, to make moves. Even if you don't believe it, it is there, it's inside of you. And this is really the work we do inside my program overcome burnout for good, really facing our fears, and fearing forward is one of the components in my five pillar process inside the program. And I want to give you a small story about myself actually and be vulnerable here. I noticed recently, I became aware that I had had a fear of being overweight for much of my life because I was overweight, probably starting at the age of 10. And then in middle school, I went on a diet and I exercised and I pretty much maintained a healthy body weight. But my body weight was kind of up and down throughout high school and even college. And it really wasn't until I think I hit residency in my mid 20s, where I really just started having a healthier attitude towards exercise and eating right. And I didn't have to be afraid of being overweight, because that had not happened for, at this point, 20 years. But what's so interesting is we have these patterns ingrained in our minds, right? And they're so deep that we end up having irrational fears of things because we're just conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves. So for me, there's this inner overweight child inside. And I get to say, hey, that may have been a problem in the past, but that's no longer an issue and I get to let it go. So I get to face that fear. And I face it head on and I get to ditch it because I'm aware of it. So I hope that helps you just understand that you're not alone in your fears. And we're gonna talk about how to face them. So here we go. Here's the action you can take to ditch your, fears face your fears, like I'm talking about. So I want you to think of one or two instances in your life where you faced your fears head on and on the other side was goodness or freedom or peace. Really, I would pause this and take some time to write it down or brainstorm a time when facing your fears really led to something beautiful. Once you do that, really use that example as fuel to keep facing your fears, to keep making the scary decisions. Because this is really the currency to a happy, joyous, peaceful life. Facing our fears. Because most people want to run away from them because of course, right that keeps us safe, the status quo, but it is really through shaking things up that we can learn to have a way more fulfilling life. I want you to also identify and acknowledge your fears. So really start by recognizing and naming the specific fear or fears that are holding you back, that are getting in your way, what are you afraid of? What are you afraid of stepping into? What are you afraid of leaving in a certain big scary decision? And know that you can be afraid and take action anyway, it does not have to paralyze you. And if you're facing a larger fear with a larger decision, and you really feel overwhelmed, simply break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. And this can really make the process less scary. I know a lot of times, we tend to plan ahead, plan for the six months or year ahead. And not only is it overwhelming, but a lot of times things can just really change and our plans just go awry anyway. So it's really better when you're stressed, or you have something major going on, to take one baby step at a time. And I have this client who was going through a very tough time. And she was in an abusive marriage with mental and physical abuse. And the idea of leaving her spouse was so daunting to her because the status quo was just changing. And in a way, it was easier, though living like that was really unbearable for her. So instead of having a long term plan, because she could not fathom, she couldn't think of it, she just took one step of deciding she was going to move out. And that was it. There was no more thought after that. The first step was to move out. And that, of course, is a huge step. But it was just one step. And she didn't have to think about the future. And that's how she was able to do it much more easily. Because she didn't go down the rabbit hole of what am I doing, is my marriage breaking up, or any of that. She literally just decided, okay, I'm going to keep myself safe and I'm moving out. So think about that as your example for just one baby step in a very seemingly insurmountable situation or decision. So one baby step at a time, you take those, and eventually you get to where you need to go. Also, if you need support, seek help from friends, or a therapist, or a coach in having your accountability and really moving you forward. And when you're having negative thoughts really challenge and reframe those negative thoughts and beliefs, the ones that are not helping you, and figure out how you can really start to cultivate more powerful thoughts that will give you fuel to move forward. So one of my favorite thoughts and mantras that I came up with, or maybe it was Bonnie Koo, who came up with it when I was working with her, was I can do this. And this has been such a powerful mantra of my life. And it really helps me to face my fears, to do the scary things, and really to live a life so much greater than I ever thought I would. And then of course, the next step is to develop a plan and create a plan for how you're going to face your fear or make your decision, and have a step by step structured approach. And that's really going to make you feel empowered, like you have your sense of control. And know that you can always change your mind. And knowing that we can always change our minds is really helpful in decreasing the scariness of making changes. And if you're feeling like a plan is too much, and you really don't want to make this long plan. It's intimidating, it's overwhelming, then do what I said earlier and really just take one small step. And of course, once you make your decision, taking action with a small step is really going to get you over that fear and to where you want to go. And use that fear as a catalyst. Tony Robbins teaches that fear can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and transformation. So instead of avoiding fear, he suggests that we embrace it and use it as a tool for positive change. And then we get to redefine fear. So instead of seeing it as a negative thing, we can actually see it as a call to action and an opportunity for growth. So really reframing how we see things can help us to cultivate so much more peace of mind instead of spinning in confusion and feeling unhappy and miserable. And as you face your fears. Remember to practice self compassion, really be kind and understanding to yourself because it really is normal to feel fear. I talked about basically our fight or flight response and how our brain is conditioned, right? So it's completely natural to feel fear and setbacks can happen. So really be kind to yourself and as compassionate to yourself as you would your own children or your friend. And remember, facing your fears takes so much strength and courage and it's okay to feel afraid. It's completely natural and normal. The key is to not let your fear paralyze you, but instead use it as a motivator for growth, transformation, and positive change. And over time, as you practice, and you learn to face your fears, and have confidence, to make those tough decisions, you're going to build that resilience that is going to serve you so so well as you keep growing and changing. And to really dive deep into this work, to have a streamlined process, to be more present at home even if you're working crazy hours to ditch the mom guilt, finally unplug, and and exhaustion and burnout forever in 90 days or less. And I say 90 days or less because we are high achievers and we want to get shit done. And these processes are going to work faster than what you've tried, than the therapy, self help books, or yoga. Book a call with me to get started . On the call, you're going to find clarity for what's going on, what's getting in your way, and we will craft a roadmap to be rid of burnout for good. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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How Work-Life Balance Can Be Achieved By Finding Your Voice
09/27/2023
How Work-Life Balance Can Be Achieved By Finding Your Voice
Episode 67: How Work-Life Balance Can Be Achieved By Finding Your Voice Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the very prevalent issue of how to find your voice. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can change what your life looks like by standing up and advocating for yourself. Tune in for more on this important topic. In this episode, you will learn: How to Unlock Your Inner Power: Discover how to find your voice, speak up, and overcome barriers that often hold women back from achieving their goals and asserting themselves both at work and at home. Confidence-Building Strategies: Gain valuable insights into building self-confidence, celebrating your achievements, and ditching self-doubt to become a more empowered and self-assured individual. Effective Communication Skills: Learn practical tips for clear and concise communication, navigating tough conversations with ease, and setting boundaries that align with your values and goals. Career Advancement: Explore the importance of salary negotiation, risk-taking, and advocating for yourself to accelerate your career growth and maximize your income potential. To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. Apply to work witih Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call to end burnout for good. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 67. Hello, welcome. Thank you so much for tuning in today. It is fall, school has probably started for you if you're listening currently and the weather's getting a little bit chillier in the northeast, but that is time for pumpkin fun and Halloween. My kids and I have actually been celebrating Halloween since last week, I bought a bunch of stuff from Target and the dollar store. The Dollar Store is the best for seasonal stuff. Don't know if you know that but that's my little tip for you today. And we've been doing Halloween treats and getting all excited with the Halloween PJs and celebrating. And I know we talked a little bit about there's no such thing as too much celebration on last week's episode. And this week, we are going to talk about finding your voice and actually one of my clients Nivi who is a nephrologist, a kidney doctor, a mom of two young children. When she came to me she really felt like she was unheard and she felt small. And actually it's funny because she is probably I would guess five two or five three, and she found herself also small as in unheard at work. But through the work that we did together, she really empowered herself to speak up for what she wanted, find her voice and actually get what she wanted at work in terms of her schedule, with reduced hours and less hospital medicine, as well as finding her voice to communicate better with her spouse. So if you too want to find your voice, ditch the mom guilt, be present at home for the most important moments, check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm, the link will be in the show notes. Today I'm talking about finding your voice because women often find it difficult to speak up for themselves. And really this has to do with a bunch of different factors, one of which is the competence gap, which is really a phenomenon where women's doubt their skills, they lack self confidence and men tend to be actually overly competent, we have the opposite problem. And this shows up as saying yes all the time or not advocating for ourselves, being afraid to ask for what we want. When you find your voice, you'll be more confident. And this really builds on itself and increases your confidence as time goes on. Because you're not going to get what you want without asking for it. And this goes for work or at home too, or with friends. And we often have to ask for what we need or for help when we need it. And that's totally okay. So learning to speak up for what you want is going to allow you to learn how to negotiate and get the life that you want. So let's get into some more factors that affect women not finding their voices. I want to shed light on these so that you really start to become aware of what's happening to you. And then once you're aware you're not going to feed into these patterns or thoughts, specifically the ones that are not serving you. So often, women have a tough time finding their voice because they're afraid of what people think. And we are often high achieving moms with demanding careers. We are people pleasers. We want people to like us. A couple examples of this. My client Sarah, who is an OBGYN, and a mother of three small children, she was afraid to speak up for herself at work and really advocate for the schedule that she wanted. She wanted to drop down from five days to four days, but she was really afraid of what her colleagues might think, were they going to think she's a slacker. Through our work together and empowering herself to find her voice and really speak up for herself, advocate for herself, she was able to get exactly what she wanted in terms of her work schedule. That was awesome. Now, this actually also came up for me even though I've been doing this work for a while. Recently, I was on a group trip with many dear friends and a couple of topics kept coming up that were really uncomfortable for me and triggering for me. And I hesitated to say anything because I have this perception of myself. And I really think I probably come across this way, I speak my mind. I'm opinionated. I usually am not afraid to speak up. But actually there is a part of me that is afraid that people will think I'm being standoffish or adversarial. And I actually do have a little bit of trouble with confrontation. But I think most people who know me would be surprised by that. And a lot of times, on a little bit of a side note, people who have it together or they manage themselves really well, I think others won't realize what you might be struggling with unless you actually find your voice and speak up about it. So when these uncomfortable topics were coming up, they came up one night, and I didn't really say anything. And then again, similar triggering content was coming up. And I actually had a moment where I spoke up and I said hey guys, this is really triggering for me, if you don't mind, if we don't go down this path again, with this conversation. I'm doing really well and I've done a lot of work on myself, but I really would like to have fun and can we not go down the road of these topics again, and everyone just kind of kept quiet and we switched the subject and it's funny because the following day, I felt like oh, maybe I shouldn't have said anything and I said to one of my friends, I said oh I think it was bad when I said that and she said, no, you advocate for yourself and nobody's going to know if you don't say anything. And I felt so much better when she said that. So this is just an example of how we have a tendency to worry about what other people think and maybe we have skewed views of ourselves. And so my point is, you don't need my permission, but I give you permission and give yourself permission to speak up and advocate for yourself. Another barrier to finding our voices is self perception. And I'm gonna talk about the barriers and then I'm gonna give you actionable tips as well, just trying to build your understanding of what's going on here with this finding voice issue that we have as women. So according to a Hewlett Packard internal report, men apply for a job or promotion when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, while women will only apply to a job if they meet 100% of the qualifications. So this shows us that women often underestimate their qualifications compared to men. So our perception of ourselves, we downplay things, and this really makes us feel smaller than we are. So the solution here is to really be aware of this and careful about your self talk or downplaying your own achievements in your head. A lot of us have been raised to be humble, and not to brag, which is good, but if you're proud of yourself, that's okay. That's a wonderful foundation to be confident in your life, in your relationships, and at work. Imposter syndrome is another reason that women have trouble finding their voice. And really, if you don't know what impostor syndrome is, it's characterized by self doubt, the fear of being exposed as a fraud in spite of being competent. And again, women experience this more commonly than men. And studies have shown that women are more likely to attribute their success to external factors and luck, rather than their own abilities. So we really tend to underestimate ourselves, and then we stay quiet and small. But the solution here is to really acknowledge that this is going on, and separate fact from our feelings and fiction and really become aware of the stories that you're telling yourself. Also, do not compare and despair. Don't be comparing yourself to other people who are in your field and thinking, okay, why can't I have what they have, it's not helpful. So drop that too. And furthermore, celebrate whatever achievements that you have. So when you have something that goes well at work, you want to really take a minute to have gratitude for it and celebrate everything you've achieved. Now, another area that women have a tough time speaking up for themselves is salary negotiation, women are really less likely to negotiate their salaries compared to men. And this can result in lower initial salaries, slower salary growth over time, and really messing up income potential. So remember, really try and build that confidence, work on seeing what you're doing well, and then finding your voice to negotiate that salary. Because honestly, you don't have a whole lot to lose. When you ask for more, maybe you won't get it. But if you don't ask, you'll never know. And another cause of not being able to find our voices is risk aversion, because women are often perceived as more risk averse than men. And this may lead to avoiding taking on challenges or kind of stepping outside of our comfort zones and advocating for things or new opportunities that could really accelerate our career growth. So here are some strategies to find your voice. So finding your voice really entails having self compassion, kindness, and that really helps you to build resilience and feel more confident. And really, instead of the golden rule of treat others as you would want to treat yourself, I'm going to tell you do that. But also do the opposite. Treat yourself as you would treat others because often I bet you would sit there and encourage a friend to ask for that promotion, to advocate for herself in any given situation, or communicate with her husband. And then when it comes to you, you're not going to be as kind to yourself or as encouraging towards yourself or supporting yourself right. Also ditching people pleasing and external validation. So not worrying so much about what other people think and really being true to ourselves helps us to build the confidence to get what we want, regardless of what other people might think. And the thing about other people and what they think, yeah, people gossip. Yeah, they might judge you. But really, everybody's really busy wrapped up in their own lives. So maybe a five minute conversation about you and then they move on. So in the scheme of things, does it make sense to try and control those five minute conversations that other people have about us, maybe negatively? It makes no sense to put a lot of energy into that because in the end, it doesn't matter. And in the scheme of things, the larger picture, going after what we want is so much more important because people really don't know what our lives are like on the inside of our heads or in our shoes. Practicing boundaries is another important way to find your voice. So the power of no, learning to say no, really practicing setting clear boundaries, declining to participate in commitments that don't really align with your goals or values. This really helps you to speak up for yourself and also be really picky about how you're spending your time and how you're spending your energy. And of course, therefore, you're gonna feel less exhausted, less burnt out and more happy. Also learning to communicate these boundaries, when necessary. Being able to talk to someone senior, being assertive about what your limits are, that's really important for your own personal confidence, respect, and professional growth. So the more you practice, practice may not make perfect, but you're gonna get better and better at finding your voice. Building self confidence, as I've kind of mentioned already is so critical in finding your voice. So really reflect on everything you've achieved. In fact, I would, after this episode is over, take a moment to really write all the stuff down that you've achieved in your life and make a list of your achievements. Keep it somewhere, maybe a list on your phone, that way you can go back to it and really see how capable you are and use your positive achievements and everything you've accomplished up until now, use that to really fuel you as you continue to progress in your life, in your career. So speaking up effectively, how do you do that? Right? Really part of this is having clarity. So being clear and concise. So when expressing yourself, really using basic language, don't over explain yourself. And this is really an epidemic, depending on how you've been raised, I know I have a major tendency to over explain myself and I will start typing out a text and then I'm explaining and I ended up deleting a lot of it. So it's taken a lot of practice, but not over explaining is critical in clear communication, and even helps us to speak up. Organizing your thoughts too, really outlining key points that you might want to talk about, or things you want to convey to ensure that your message is being understood. Also a part of finding our voice is getting better at navigating tough conversations. So really getting ourselves into a calm state of mind. And I focus on my breath when I need to center myself to keep myself from, let's say feeling a really strong emotion when it's not useful. And calming ourselves and finding this balance can really help de-escelate a tense situation. And we're able to express ourselves, and expressing our thoughts and feelings, really using I statements so that we're not accusing anyone of anything. And when it comes to addressing touchy subjects at work, really focus on the issue and not the person and do your best to not make it personal. No avoiding, that is very helpful, and proposing solutions. Being proactive in conflict resolution and solutions is really helpful and helps us to grow and move up in the workplace and in life in general. And when we're solution oriented, and we don't complain, and we don't focus on what's not going well, we find ourselves happier. So finding your voice and really learning to effectively communicate. These are skills that can be developed. You don't have to have them right off the bat. And they can improve over time. By understanding why women tend to have a tough time with finding their voices and being aware of the stories that we're telling ourselves, and then also using the strategies that I talked about today we can learn to speak up effectively and really navigate challenging conversations, address conflicts professionally and personally while really maintaining our own integrity. Try one or more of the strategies that I talked about today and really see how you start creating the life that you want for yourself. And if you want to learn more, to get more individualized help book a call with me. to get started on being more present home, even if you're working long hours, ditch that mom guilt, unplug, end exhaustion and burnout for good in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.
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How To Be Happy As A Working Mom
09/20/2023
How To Be Happy As A Working Mom
Episode 66: How To Be Happy As A Working Mom Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about cultivating inner peace and living a more meaningful life. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about living life as if you were given a second chance and finding happiness in the ordinary things. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: How to live a life with more regrets How to find fulfillment Practical tips to get the most out of your life To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 66. Welcome. I'm so happy to have you here today. Thank you so much for tuning in, thinking and assuming that you're back in the rhythm, school has started, and the kiddos are back to school. I wanted to mention one of my clients, Diana, who is a physician and mother of two small kids, she was telling me how really before coaching with me, she was struggling with feeling like she didn't have enough time, how to balance everything, she felt so much mom guilt. And after coaching with me and going through my program, she really was able to show up as her best self and ditch the mom guilt and truly be present at home with her kids. And she was actually saying if you feel like you're drowning and want to enjoy your life again, I would recommend Prianca, which is so sweet of her. So this is the work that we're doing inside my life coaching program overcome burnout for good in 90 days or less. As a physician and having my masters in neuroscience, I've really created easy, implementable tools, including my three N methods and other processes that really help cultivate peace of mind, balance mindfulness without a ton of time. And to learn more about the work I do inside my program join my free on demand masterclass four steps to overcoming burnout, overwhelm, and truly getting your peace of mind back, the link will be in the show notes. Today, I want to talk about really shifting your mindset for a happier, more enriched life. And I did actually talk about perspective shifts in Episode 44, about what your 80 year old self would think about something and putting on that lens, really transposing that lens to the current moment. And that allows us to not take insignificant things too seriously. So definitely listen to that episode, Episode 44 first, if you have not, before you listen to this one. Because this episode today, I'm going to expand on this concept. We're going to talk about having a second chance at life without though having a near death experience. So there are people who have beat cancer, or they do have near death experiences, and they come back, they face their life really living differently, probably better. So what if we could do the same without having to die? That sounds pretty good, right? So before I get into the exercise, and really the couple of ways you can look at this and how to approach it, I want to talk about a Anita Moorjani's book Dying To Be Me. And I read this a few years ago, and it's really a memoir that talks about her journey from being on the verge of death to a miraculous recovery. She had been diagnosed with stage four cancer, and at that time, when she had this cancer, she was living a life really for others, out of alignment with who she was, who she wanted to be. And this near death experience, also abbreviated NDE really changed her sense of her life and healing and it transformed her, she felt a sense of interconnectedness. And she talks about how she made an active choice to not die and to return to life. Now, of course, this story is going to challenge conventional beliefs about illness and recovery. And some people might think it's woowoo. Regardless, I think it's just important to see that she had this message of coming back from NDE to embrace a newfound lease on life. And I actually am getting chills as I talk about this because I think this work is so powerful. And her memoir really offers us an example of life's challenges and how they can be a true catalyst for change and a deeper connection to who we really are and connecting to who you are. And if you don't know what that is, the work that we do inside my program, we really dive deeply into that. But if you don't have a sense of yourself, right, then you're kind of living all over the place. And when we do that, we're out of integrity. Once we can truly get to know ourselves, our values, and how we want to live, and we can live in alignment with that, then we can be at peace and have the balance and end the burnout that really ails so many women. And I'm sure you can relate with this. So let's talk about how we can really cultivate inner peace and live a more meaningful life. So that is through today's topic, which is what if you had a second chance at life? How would you do things? We're going to really look at this concept in two different ways. So way number one, so this is really when you have a new beginning. For example, let's say you have a new job or a new relationship or you're moving to a new city. So when you have a new beginning, really ask yourself, what did you learn from your past recent journey, your past job, your past relationship, the way you lived in your past town? And what was good, what worked? What didn't work? And how do you want to improve? And how can you use what you've learned for a better now and a better future? So let's say you're leaving a job for another one, don't underestimate the significance of these kinds of changes, because you might really have some grief for the loss of a certain job. It's its own death, right? So that's why I bring it up in this episode, how can you take the death of that job, and then have a rebirth with a new job? So how would you show up? Ask yourself that question. And when you can answer that, you take the answer, and you put that answer into action. And that's really how you're going to change your life experience for the better of course. Similarly, if you're ending a relationship, or you've had a divorce, you're in a divorce, what did you learn? How did you get there? How did you end up there in the end? And what was your role? And knowing all this, once you reflect on this, and take some time to do this, because I'm just kind of rattling these off, but the text will be in the show notes. So you can look at that for further guidance. How can you approach the present and the future differently in the context of all of this? So actually, in life we do get the chance to be reborn. And that's a little dramatic, right, being reborn. But basically, what I'm saying is we get a fresh start all the time, and maybe you're not realizing it. So I'm just trying to increase awareness for you, become aware of when you get a fresh start, and it can be as simple as okay, September's the new school year, I get a fresh start in this. Often for me, when the year is ending, I do a lot of reflection exercises and goals for the following year. But that's a reset. And then I do another reset, let's say in the summer, I give myself a fresh start when the summer's starting. And then again, when the school year's starting, I might do like a reset, a rebirth, et cetera. And it really helps us to keep ourselves active in living our lives, and really taking an active role in how we want to live our lives, what we want for our lives instead of letting life live us. And it's when we let life live us that we get drained, we feel exhausted, we feel unhappy when we're not doing what our heart desires, what we really want to be doing. And the concept that we can't is really something that we've been taught. And it's really not the case. And I did talk about dreams in a different episode. So creating the life of your dreams, check that out. It's a past episode, if you haven't, and that talks much more about this. But basically, we get to take control of our lives by refreshing ourselves whenever we want. And we can take a new lease on life. A refreshed, rejuvenated a second chance at life at any given moment. You can decide today in fact, you don't need at the end of the year or the times that I've just mentioned, you can create your own rebirth, your own, I'm coming back, I'm reliving my life, I get a second chance at life in this moment, you could do it right now. So that's way number one of the second chance. Now the way to look at this number two of the second chance is imagine that you are on your deathbed, okay? And someone, let's say an angel, whatever your religious preferences or beliefs are, you can just insert whomever. It could be a loved one who's passed, just someone, comes and tells you that you're not going to die in this moment and you actually get to go back. Beautiful, right? I mean, I'm sure so many people would love that. So instead of us being on our deathbed, wishing we had more time, let's try and create a life where when we die, we can say I lived a beautiful life, and I'm ready to pass. How beautiful is that? That's so rare, right? But we can create that. So given that you have this second chance at life, how are you going to show up throughout your day, now I'm talking about moment to moment, hour by hour, because now you realize that your time is limited. And often we behave as though we're not going to die. In my medical practice, I treat a lot of patients at the ends of their lives, and I have seen that family members often behave as though their family is never supposed to die and that it's natural to live forever, though we know it's a fact that we are all going to die. So with this fact, if we face this fact, which is not an easy fact to face, but it's true, then how would you show up moment to moment. And this is different for everyone. So I'm going to give you a couple examples of how this shows up for me. And then I will give you some practical tips in case you're feeling lost on ideas of how to do this. Alright, so for me, I practice a lot of mindfulness and I tend to be in the present moment because I've practiced years and years of meditation and I take what I've learned from years of sitting meditating and I apply that to my life, which is a lot of what I teach in my program without the meditation, but I'm able to soak in the moments. And also when I was young, many astrologers in India, this is definitely a cultural thing, had told my mother that she was going to die in a bad accident at 40. And my family shared this information with me when I was young, which I don't know if they should have, but they did. And so I actually grew up thinking that I was not going to have my mom forever. And that translated to me, even as a teenager, every single conversation with my parents, I would always say, I love you, bye, I love you bye. And I would always kind of think this could be the last time I see them. So that's my background. And I do tend to live life as though I'm not living forever, or the people that I love are not living forever. So that's sort of how that has shown up in my life till today. Now, today, with my children, and my parents, I really try it to savor the ordinary moments, because with my parents, I know they're getting older, right. So spending time with them is really critical, because that's not going to last forever. And I acknowledge that. So I will visit them at their home, my dad likes to do a bonfire and do s'mores, and we put on music and we dance and we laugh and we go out to eat. And these are all really ordinary things. But they're actually really extraordinary. At the same time, they're really special. And I try to soak in those moments, because I know they're not going to last forever. And I know that someday all I will have are memories of my parents. And similarly with my children. They're really young and super precious. And it's sort of the reverse issue that these moments with my children, when they're babies, that's not going to last forever, they're going to turn into adults. So I really try and soak in all of the ordinary moments with them, right. And of course, there are also tough moments that are filled with tantrums because that goes with the age. So during the happy times, the dancing, the coloring, the shopping at Target, going out to eat, hanging out with them, driving with them, when they're singing in the car or talking I am just in awe of their cuteness, the things they say and the rate at which they're learning new things. It's insane. It's incredible. And this actually brings me to tears a lot. I feel what I feel, what can I say. So I really just am able to be present and enjoy them. Enjoy the good times, and just the normal moments, which are just so so so so so precious. And I have tremendous gratitude for them too. And that's how I feel, you don't necessarily have to feel that way. But personally, I wanted to be a mother when I was six years old. So for me, my children are the greatest gift that life could have given me and they themselves surpass whatever expectations I had of what my children would be. So I practice gratitude for them on a very regular basis, probably a few times a week, I am so grateful for them. And actually, I will tell them too. Especially my five year old who understands a little bit more than my two year old might understand, I will literally tell him how grateful I am for him. And I want them to know that, I think that's important. Conversely, though, I never realized that being a mother meant being woken up multiple times a night for a bad dream or being afraid of the dark. But that is also part of being a mom. And that part is not really fun, right. But with this perspective, I know that just like the cute stuff, and the cute young, adorable time will pass quickly, the negative phases will also pass quickly. So I get to not give the difficult times a ton of attention. And I can sort of let them go and instead focus on the good. And that's my choice. And what that ends up doing for me is it creates a more positive life experience during which I feel more fulfilled and more gratified. This is all a choice, just like it is for you, you have a choice too. So if you're feeling a little lost on how to really get that second chance at life, here are some things that you can do to really enhance your life experience. So one thing is practicing gratitude and practicing mindfulness. Gratitude practice is really easy to do, you don't have to journal and I actually have an episode on gratitude practice earlier in this podcast, so check that out. But basically, you can just recite to yourself five things you're grateful for every morning when you're showering. Mindfulness also, simply saying to yourself, there is a body and focusing on your breath can really help you to just be present in any given moment. Forgiving yourself and others is another great way to approach this second chance at life because really forgiving yourself helps you cultivate inner peace and make peace with your past because none of us is perfect and we do make mistakes. So we get to have compassion for ourselves and really cultivate inner peace by doing that. And in terms of forgiving others really forgiving others is more about us than it is about them. And by forgiving others, we get to let go of any negative energy, negative emotions that we're hanging on to. And that really is liberating. And along with that really letting go of stuff that does not matter. So if something is trivial, if it doesn't matter in the long run, if it's not a do or die issue, which most issues are not, then really being able to let go. The next tip is to embrace what is going well and put on those rose colored glasses for ourselves. Because we really have a choice on how we see things. And if we can even see our challenges as serving us or testing us, or what are we learning from this, it's so much better than having a victim mentality, because that is much more depressing and sad. So we can embrace what is happening, and also what we are doing well, because we don't give ourselves enough credit for all the good things that we're doing. And I'm sure you're doing a ton of them. So give yourself a pat on the back. And again, it is great to have other people validate what you're doing. But that really gives our power away. So we get to reclaim our power by validating ourselves and supporting ourselves. And the more we can do that, the more inner strength, resilience, and peace we're going to build. The next thing you can do is literally figure out what you want out of this life and go after it yesterday. Okay, because time is so short. Somebody was telling me that they wanted to go into politics, and I said to this person, well, then you just need to do it right this minute. Right this moment, get going on it because time is of the essence. And you might as well just do it, don't prolong things that you really want to do. Another important way to approach our second chance at life is really connecting with those you care about that can be however you see fit via phone call, via FaceTime, an email, seeing them, maybe another way to do this is to write thank you notes. First start with yourself, practice gratitude to yourself and all the wonderful things you're doing. And then thank you notes to other people in your life. It's funny that I'm doing this episode because I literally wrote a bunch of notes to people last week, a bunch of my friends whom I care about, I wrote them notes the other day and mailed them out. But it really is beautiful to let those people that you know have had an impact on your life or that you care about or care about you that you appreciate them. That way if you die tomorrow, you did make your peace with them. Or if they die tomorrow, you have your sense of okay, I did let them know that I love them. Another way to approach coming back, having a second chance at life, really ask yourself how would you prioritize your work versus your home life if you got that second chance? What would you change? And this is a critical question because a lot of us are living on autopilot and really don't take the time to think about these things. But taking the time to reflect upon these issues is so important in getting the most out of this beautiful life. If you had a second chance, what would you do in terms of your physical and mental health? Would you take better care of it? And how? Would you travel more? And if you would, then you need to start booking those flights. Get going, see everything you want to see. Travel more often. And I know people make up a lot of excuses, I can't, but the truth is you actually can. You get to create what you want for yourself, whatever that means. And the last way to really make the most of the second chance is to celebrate everything. You get to celebrate everything you want. Whatever you want in this life, whatever you think is a time to celebrate. Let's do it. So for me, this shows up as celebrating the first day of school with my son, we got a cake, we lit candles, I FaceTimed a bunch of relatives and we did a little party. We sang, we danced, my son was running around the house, he was so happy. It was wonderful, what a great memory. And now, it's only September but I...
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Mastering Time Management For Career-Driven Moms
09/13/2023
Mastering Time Management For Career-Driven Moms
Episode 65: Mastering Time Management For Career-Driven Moms Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the important issue of time management for high-power working moms. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can get hours back each week and make the most of the time that you have. Tune in for more on this topic. In this episode, you will learn: How time is flexible To set boundaries so you get several hours back weekly To preserve your energy and get time back How you have more time than you think To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast, episode number 65. Hello there listeners, I am so glad that you are tuning in today. Welcome, welcome. If you are a faithful old listener, not old, but you've been listening, I'm so grateful to have you here. And if you're new, thank you for listening to the empowering working moms podcast today. And I'm going to talk about time management, which is such an important issue, right, because for us high power working moms, we just don't ever have enough time or that's just how we feel. And it's just tough to fit it all in. And many of my clients actually after working with me, they get time back every week, hours and hours. And they find the confidence that they need to create the work schedule that they want to create, or even change the type of work that they want to do to truly give themselves hours back each week. And a lot of this comes from living in alignment with the kind of life that they want to live, which is actually part of the first module of my coaching program overcome burnout for good. And if you really want to learn more about the work we do here, check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm, the link will be in the show notes. I'm going to start this episode out by discussing the actual amount of time that people have on average. So we're gonna do a little math here. So we know that there are 24 hours a day, seven days in the week. So 24 times seven equals 168 hours, every single week. So if you're working roughly 40 hours a week, there may be people who work more, this is just average, you're sleeping, let's say an average of eight hours a night, you're probably sleeping less than that. But let's just say that. So you've got 40 hours of work a week, and then 56 hours of sleeping. If you do the math and you subtract 56 plus 40. Take that math, subtract it from 168, you're gonna have 62 hours left outside of work and outside of sleep. Now that is a lot of free time, 62 hours every single week, that's a lot. And time actually really will stretch and accommodate what we put into it. And I learned this concept when I read Laura Vanderkams book, What Successful People Do Before Breakfast, and she gave an example of how one of her clients water heaters broke, and she needed an extra, I believe it was 12 to 15 hours back that week. And somehow she was able to create that time to be home while her water heater got fixed. So really realize the time is a lot more flexible than we think. And a lot of times when we set goals or an emergency happens, we do get something done in less time than we think. The reverse is also true where we think we're gonna get done a lot more in a given day. But there is the concept that you can get done a lot more in like a longer span of time, like let's say a year, you can achieve so much more than you think. But then on a day to day basis, you may overestimate. So overestimating the short term time amount and under estimating the longer term time where you can actually achieve much larger goals. So to really understand time and managing it better, we have to shift our perspective, shift how we see time. So as I mentioned, the idea that time can bend to accommodate our needs is really something that has gained attention in science and philosophy, science fiction writers. And while we don't really have the capability to manipulate time, like time travel in stories, there are some aspects of our perception that can really create a sense of flexibility with our time. And flexibility is so key because really feeling that flexibility, it makes us feel we have a sense of freedom. And there's nothing better than feeling free and not tethered down or boxed in by your time. So our perception of time can really vary so much depending on how we're feeling, what we're doing, for example, the saying time flies when you're having fun, right? So when we're doing something really fun, time can go so fast. But if we're bored, or we're waiting for something, and we're doing something not fun, time can feel like it's dragging on forever. So this aspect of understanding how our mindset and frame of mind changes our perception of time or our experience, really, we can, to a certain extent control how we experience time, we really embrace something and we're enjoying it, it's gonna go by faster as opposed to when we're not having fun. Also, we can plan our days efficiently, prioritize tasks, try not to procrastinate, right, and then that creates a sense of gaining time in a day. So multitasking, people think that that's the best way to get things done. But that also is when you have too many things on your mind, you actually will be less productive and you're going to do things more slowly and it'll take longer in the end. And certain activities will alter our perception of time. For example, if we're super stressed or you're having a life or death experience, which hopefully you're not, time can really slow down. And that way we can react more effectively. And I remember when my father and I got into a horrible car accident when I was in middle school, there was a horrible storm and the van that we were in slid on black ice into this ravine that was really deep in between two highways, and the car tumbled twice. And luckily, we ended up upright, and we survived with really not even a scratch. But I remember at that time, the minute that the van slid, and it did its first turn into that ravine, it was so slow, it really slowed down time, because I must have gotten into a fight or flight mode, a near death experience, or at least what felt like it at the time. So these examples really show how our perception and management of time can really bend time. So it's really important to remember that time itself is constant, right? And we can't really manipulate it, but it is flexible, and we can work with it and really optimize our experience to make the most of the time that we have. And a lot of this is about energy management too, which I will get to in a minute. Energy management in the sense that there's a quote by Jim Rohn, that is, I've talked about in past episodes, so important, and I really tried to live by it, stand guard to the door of your mind, which means that you really need a sieve to your brain and input you allow in and how you manage your energy. So we must also stand guard to the door of our time, and be really picky about how we allow ourselves to spend our time and not be doing things that we really don't want to do or don't line up with our values. So effective time management isn't really just about managing the clock, it's about managing your energy levels. So not allowing yourself to get drained by people or situations if you really don't need to, let's say if you're tired, or you're not feeling well, do not at that moment pick up the call of a person who you know is going to talk your ear off for an hour. Or if it's the kind of person who really makes you feel depleted after talking to them, for example, you really have to be mindful about how you are spending your time and energy. So in terms of time management tips, I'm going to talk about some indirect ways of managing your time. And then I'm going to discuss more concrete actionable tips that you probably haven't heard before. So in terms of managing time, indirectly, one way is to set boundaries, that's so critical, because setting boundaries really preserves our safety, our space, our time, our energy. And along with that is the power of No. So that means not taking on extra projects, saying no to things that don't align with our values and our priorities, really being aware of our perhaps people pleasing tendencies and not giving into them, and also taking rests and breaks to improve our productivity and realizing that it's better to do certain things when we are feeling fresh. For example, I have noticed that if I write patient notes, right when I'm seeing them or shortly after, I get them done so much more quickly. But if I write them later in the day, after my children are in bed, I'm so exhausted that it takes me probably triple to quadruple the time it would take during the day. So that right there would be poor management of time, so don't do that. Also, another way of indirectly managing our time is seeing time as it aligns with our priorities. So really creating values and priorities, knowing what they are and choosing to spend our time in alignment with those. Also hanging out with people who energize us and really not hanging out with those who we find draining because the more drained we are, the more time we might waste because we're going to be exhausted. So once you begin to align your decisions with your priorities and values, you will see a ton of time is going to be freed up. I'm going to shift now to discussing concrete actionable tips that you probably haven't heard before. And these tips will help you to reclaim your time, boost productivity, and really get a balance between your career and your home life. So grab a notepad because you're gonna want to remember these gems. Tip number one is the one minute rule. So if a task takes less than a minute to complete, do it right away. Whether it's answering an email, paying a bill tidying up your workspace, tackling small tasks can really prevent them from piling up and really that will prevent feeling overwhelmed later. So any task that is quick. I find even tidying things up, I'll do part of the task and that takes me a minute and it's not so bad. Be it like bringing my laundry down without actually doing the laundry and later I might do it. Number two is time blocking with a twist. So time blocking is pretty popular but let's add a twist to it. Instead of just scheduling work related tasks, specific blocks of time for self care, family time or personal growth, really treat these blocks with the same importance as you would your work task. And watch how it really changes your life. So you want to take your personal life and really take it seriously with following a schedule. Now only do this if you find scheduling stuff on your phone and the calendar or on paper, if it brings you joy, do it. If you tend to get overwhelmed with scheduling stuff, then I would say skip this one. But this is for people who really thrive with creating order and more organization. For me, I actually tend to put meetings, if I have a dinner with friends, or a trip or something, that's all on my calendar. But I don't really add a bunch of other stuff to my calendar because I personally find it stresses me out more than not. Number three, a one touch rule for emails. So stop checking your email every few minutes. Instead, decide that you'll check it, let's say every hour or every two hours and then really do a one touch rule, meaning when you open an email, you're gonna take action, reply, delegate or delete. And this really will minimize your email clutter and make sure you're not constantly being interrupted with your email. So on your phone, you would also turn off the notifications for email. I know I do that. Okay, so the next tip, tip number four is the power of 10 minute tasks. So of course, you're busy and finding long stretches of uninterrupted time between your career and your kids, maybe your spouse, 10 minute tasks can really help you be productive. So really, you can set a timer for 10 minutes and brainstorm ideas, make a phone, call organize a small part of your home, and you really get a lot done. This is also similar to Gretchen Rubin's, she calls it a one hour Power Hour. So every week, she sets aside one hour to do nagging tasks. So all the stuff you dread and don't want to do, set aside one hour during the week and really block that out on your calendar, or not if you don't like the calendar aspect, and get things done, like your doctor's appointments, or all those other irritating tasks. And of course, if you're able to, if you have the financial freedom or you want to prioritize getting stuff off your plate, I would outsource these things and get somebody to do it for you. Tip number five is the two minute mindfulness break. So really incorporating a two minute break in your day where you can literally focus on your body, focus on your breath, do a breathing exercise, and really the way you could do it is you could just sit there, if you can find a private space or like get a little time out for yourself. Close your eyes, notice your body, take a few deep breaths, counting to seven or eight as you inhale, seven or eight as you exhale, and then focus on your breath, set a timer, do it for two minutes. And this will really reset you and destress you and can boost your productivity and mental well being, which then gives you more time as well. Number six. So delegate creatively, you might really need to do everything yourself or you feel like you do. But delegating, as I said can really save you time. Reduce your workload, outsourcing tasks that don't bring you joy, whatever that is, be it meal prep, or house cleaning, or online research anything that's a joy thief for you, I would try and get somebody else to do it or pay somebody else. Tip number eight, the No Challenge. So I talked a little bit about this earlier. But this is a concrete plan for you in really engaging in the power of No. So that means, so understand that when you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. So if you say yes to whatever it is you're taking away time for yourself or time from something else. So understanding that your time is so so precious, and being really, really tight with how you spend it. So you could try this exercise for a month and make a promise yourself to say no to non essential commitments. And anything that you really don't need to do or you really don't want to do is going to help you free up so much time and energy and let you focus on your top priorities. And you're not going to overload your schedule, and you're going to feel so much more free and happy and like you have so much more time. Tip number nine is to literally try and track for one week how you're spending your time and 15 minute blocks. And this can be so so useful. I did this one time, and you will see where you're losing your time and where you could be more efficient or where you could maybe do like a two minute mindfulness break and stop scrolling your phone on social media, these kinds of things. So I highly encourage you to sit there and make a chart for yourself. And notice what you're doing Sunday through Saturday in 15 minute increments and then you can reflect on where your time is going. Which leads me to tip number 10 which is really a weekly reflection time so you can reflect on how you're spending your time and also really reflect on how you're feeling, how things are going, what you can celebrate, what you did well, what's not going well, what can be improved, how can you manage your time and energy better. And this will really keep the time and energy management at the top of mind for you which is awesome, right? So the more you really become aware of how your spending your time the more you can take powerful action to reclaim it back and really be spending it in a way that's in integrity with how you want to live your life and once you start doing this I promise you're gonna find yourself having so much more peace of mind and being so much happier. So cheers to that. If you have any questions feel free to contact me at Prianca at with any questions. I'd be happy to talk you through any roadblocks are having. Or better yet book a call with me to really get started on this work and have a streamlined process to be more present at home, get hours back each week, even if you're working a lot. Ditch the mom guilt, finally unplug, end exhaustion and burnout for good in 90 days or less. And the work that we do with coaching, it works so much faster than therapy, yoga, self help books, I promise. . I would love to talk to you, see where you are and if you're a good fit for my program. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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5 Steps To Ease Anxiety
09/06/2023
5 Steps To Ease Anxiety
Episode 64: 5 Steps To Ease Anxiety Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about several ways in which you can lessen your level of stress and anxiety. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can break anxiety in order to create inner peace for yourself. Tune in to this episode for more. In this episode, you will learn: How to Manage A Busy Mind What The Default Mode Network is and How to Deal with it Easy Practical Strategies to Manage Stress & Anxiety Mindfully To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back. If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to to book a 30-minute consultation call. Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Join her FREE Facebook group: [FULL TRANSCRIPTION:] You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 64. Hello, thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope you're having a great day. If you're listening on Wednesday, the day that this podcast drops, happy, happy Wednesday, people call it hump day I guess. I'm not that into that saying. So I'll just call it Wednesday. Hope everything is going smoothly. And as we bid the summer farewell, you're still able to find ways to enjoy yourself. Even though I know, especially in the northeast, summer is a really fun time that we all enjoy because we get to be outdoors. I want to talk a little bit about one of my clients before we dive into today's topics. My client Melanie who is an allergist, so she's a physician specializing in allergy immunology. She's a mom of two small kids and we work together and she was telling me how much better she was doing after coaching with me in terms of her anxiety. And the mindfulness tools that we use, she was really able to go from basically every sneeze and cough during COVID would send her into a spiral of catastrophization, worrying about “am I gonna get COVID” and stressing out. And then through mindfulness tools that we practice, including my three N method, she was really able to process her thoughts and feelings and she was able to get distance from them and find much more peace of mind. And the work we are doing inside my coaching program is really not time intensive. So if it's possible for Melanie to be out of burnout, out of anxiety and really enjoying her life, it's possible for you too. To learn more join my free on demand masterclass four steps to ending burnout and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back. So I started with telling you about Melanie and her anxiety because I want to talk about a little bit of stress and anxiety today and awareness around that because the more we educate ourselves, the more we can kick anxiety's ass and I know this is something that high achieving type A moms really struggle with. So when you're super stressed here's what is often happening. This is the cycle: you have the stress or the stressor, you have minimal sleep, increased irritability, and then everything is irritating you and now your stress and anxiety are worse. So this is a very vicious cycle. So how do we deal with this and break the cycle? Well, by being aware, and I talk about awareness all the time, but really awareness is the first step in this work, becoming aware of what your brain is doing. If there's one thing that you can learn from my podcast episodes, it is awareness. Awareness also, we're going to talk about today that the brain is doing its own thing. And that's the monkey mind, which is basically the default mode network or the DMN. And I'm going to explain more about that because it's really important to educate yourself on this topic in combating stress and anxiety. So do you know when your thoughts are racing a mile a minute, really swinging from one thought to the next, or really one branch to the next like a curious monkey? Well, that's why this phenomenon is called a monkey mind. And it is common when stress enters the picture, it's important to recognize that having a busy mind is totally normal, especially when we're stressed out. So this is really the default mode network, the network in our brain that becomes active when we are not engaged in specific tasks. And it allows our mind to wander, sometimes leading to overthinking or dwelling on the past or the future and not being in the present moment. Now the DMN can really be a double edged sword because it provides us with creative thinking, but can also contribute to higher stress levels when left unchecked. So think about your default mode network and how maybe if you didn't even know about it, you're leaving it unchecked. So I just want you to be aware of that. Really think about that. Now stress and anxiety and mind wandering are very closely connected. When we are feeling stressed or anxious, our mind tends to gravitate towards the default mode network. And this causes us to replay stressful scenarios or obsess over things. We plan for challenges and we create an endless loop of worry. And then this can worsen our stress levels. And so it's really important for us to be aware of this, to get away from it and not feed into this default mode network as much. Now you might be wondering, how do we manage this constant chatter in our minds along with the tendency to dwell on stressful things? Well, here's the answer, cultivating mindfulness, mindful awareness. So by acknowledging that our monkey mind and the default mode network exist, we take our power back, we get power to redirect our focus, to shift our perspective and really be mindful. And mindfulness is truly about being in the present moment, becoming an observer of our thoughts without judgment so that we're not one with our thoughts. We're not one with our feelings, we're not going down the rabbit hole, and consciously making a decision as to where to direct our mental energy. So here are some practical strategies for navigating stress and anxiety mindfully now that we understand the default mode network and where a lot of this stems from. So as I mentioned before, and I say in all of this work, the first step and key to this work is awareness. Now, we can also get more specific with that. We can practice breath awareness. And this is really practicing deep breathing exercises, taking a few long, deep breaths, counting to seven or eight while you inhale, you can even hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly for a count of seven or eight. Do this about five times or so and it will really clear your brain get you into the present moment, get you into your body, out of your head and practice mindfulness where you can be present and really calm your racing thoughts. Another method is to take mindful breaks. So if you take short breaks throughout your day to just check in with yourself, you can do it let's say every time you use the restroom, or every time you wash your hands, because I'm sure you're doing that more than once a day, take a second to just check in with yourself. Notice any triggers notice what your brain is doing, and gently redirect where your attention is. Or you can just, again, ground yourself and take a few deep breaths or notice there is a body. Another way to destress and another strategy to navigate stress and anxiety is gratitude practice. And I have a whole episode, I believe on gratitude practice in the very beginning of this podcast series. So really just being able to think about five things you're grateful for every day, they can be really small, like the roof over your head, or having air conditioning or having heat or having food on the table. And it just helps for us to have those rose colored lenses on to have a more positive outlook on life and can really shift us from the negativity that we might be feeling when we have extra stress or anxiety. Another method that people like, I'm not so big on this myself, I do journal every now and then, but not daily. But journaling and just getting your thoughts down on paper, just like getting your thoughts out, your feelings and giving them an outlet. Or you could also just vent, to record a voice memo to just get it out, or vent to a friend. And that can ease some of the tension when you get it out of your brain and out of your system. Now remember, the beauty of this work is being able to manage your own mind and manage your own stress and anxiety. That's amazing, right? Because you're going to be enjoying your life so much more. But also when we become mindful and we do this work, we're mindful of our thoughts and our patterns, we get to have this ripple effect that really extends beyond ourselves. So we cultivate more peace, ease and flow. Amazing, right, like so good. And then that in and of itself will affect those around us, those who love us, or our children too, or our partners, or our friends, or our family and they can just feel that more peaceful vibe. And also we are setting a great example for our children on how to manage our emotions or how to cultivate peace, and then they can learn that too. So it's not just alleviating our own stress and anxiety, but inspiring those around us to really adopt healthier ways of dealing with pressure. Remember that the monkey mind and the default network our natural parts of our brains and cognitive processes. But if we practice a bit of awareness, a bit of mindfulness, we can take control back of our mental state even when we're super challenged. So practice the strategies I've talked about today. Really embrace the present moment and watch yourself as you increase your resilience and your ability to handle stress and anxiety. To have a streamlined process to end burnout, exhaustion in 90 days or less that is going to work faster than therapy, yoga, self help books and more processes like the ones I've talked about today, really dive deep into this work to heal from the inside out and end burnout for good book a call with me to get started. . I would love to talk to you, see where you are, what's going on with you and create a roadmap for you to end burnout. Thanks so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.
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