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When “How Was Your Day?” Isn’t Enough: Questions That Help Kids Open Up
11/13/2025
When “How Was Your Day?” Isn’t Enough: Questions That Help Kids Open Up
How do we help kids open up about their day—really open up—so we can guide their hearts, not just manage their behavior? In today’s episode, we explore why the classic parent question, “How was your day?” almost always leads to a dead end, and how we can replace it with questions that actually build connection, confidence, and identity. Drawing from Dr. Kathy Koch’s deep insight into child development, we look at why kids often shut down when they come home from school, what their silence might be telling us, and how timing, tone, and relational approach matter more than the words themselves. Dr. Kathy explains how performance-centered questions unintentionally send the message that grades matter more than character, and she challenges parents to ask questions that explore who their child was during the day—not just what they did. Together, we unpack better conversation starters that help kids reflect, process emotions, develop humility, grow in problem-solving, and see where God showed up in their lives. We also discuss five identity-based categories—intellectual, emotional, social, physical, and spiritual—and how to engage each one meaningfully. You’ll learn about a simple “Go Fish” dinner-table activity that brings the whole family into the conversation and how three words—curious, confused, confident—can reshape the way you talk with your kids about school. Wayne also reflects on a powerful moment from John 21, where Jesus asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?” Instead of shaming Peter, Jesus restores him. That same pattern—gentle, repeated questions that lead to deeper truth—shows us that good questions don’t interrogate a child; they bless them. They help them see who they are becoming. This episode is an encouraging, practical guide for parents, grandparents, and caregivers who want to build stronger connections, nurture identity in Christ, and create moments of reflection that shine a bright light through the emotional fog kids sometimes carry home. You’ll walk away with new tools, new questions, and a renewed sense of hope as you shepherd your children’s hearts.
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