Cheek Clappers

The #1 Comedy Podcast In The World

The Mercedes-Benz Curry House of Doom 04/23/2024

The Mercedes-Benz Curry House of Doom Fuck me, this is an absolute Clappers classic, a top 10 episode for me. We've got some Tara childhood stories, some more recent ones and a bunch of other funny shit. MISS THIS ONE AT YOUR PERIL. T-shirts: Music: Our subreddit: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/30949183

Emerald City Runners ft. Harry Slime 03/14/2024

Emerald City Runners ft. Harry Slime In this episode I talk with the fantastic Harry Slime (aka Cam) of the 'Life & Time with Harry Slime' Podcast. The audio is a bit fucked in this one, I've done my best to repair it but it still sounds kind of whacky. Next time we do an episode together it'll be much better. Either way this one is still good. Listen to Cam's podcast: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/30370788

I'm Not Gonna Die This Way 03/04/2024

I'm Not Gonna Die This Way WE'RE BACK! With an unmissable Clappers banger. We talk about more weird stuff that happened when Tara was at school, the listeners ABANDONING US, Gregg Wallace's daily routine, the new lids on drinks bottles, otter attacks, being struck by lightning, Winnie the Pooh and much more. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our subreddit: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/30220708

Marty Garza: UFOs, Government Disclosure, Angels, Demons & Beyond 02/16/2024

Marty Garza: UFOs, Government Disclosure, Angels, Demons & Beyond Marty Garza who has amassed an enormous wealth of research on UFO and UFO encounters, to talk about what these things may or may not be, and how we might think about them. This podcast is intended as supplementary to Marty's appearances on Brothers of the Serpent, which can all be found on YouTube (and are best listened to in order), or can be found on any podcast app: If you'd like to watch the video of this podcast you can find it here: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/29984273

Fuck Your Life UP 02/08/2024

Fuck Your Life UP WE'RE BACK! In this episode we talk about what we've (not) been doing, Omracer, men going missing and much more. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: Our subreddit: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/29855658

Peru vs. Australia 01/15/2024

Peru vs. Australia In this episode we talk about an awkward encounter I had on a basketball court, koalas, grave robbers (sort of), UFOs and much more. We also hold a kind of competition between Peru and Australia, where Tara represents Australia and I represent Peru. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: Our subreddit: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/29491128

Should've Worn a Diaper That Night 12/29/2023

Should've Worn a Diaper That Night WE'RE BACK! We talk about a lot in this one including Jamaican guys, Freddie Kreuger, mental hospitals, Santa and much more. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/29271108

Food Poisoning? 12/06/2023

Food Poisoning? WARNING: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DIARRHEA AND VOMITING SOUNDS. In this episode, sickness befalls The Clappers Kingdom, and we fall into a fairly deep depression. This isn't a normal episode; if you don't want to listen to hours of us being depressed/the sounds of vomiting and diarrhea then please skip this one. This is for serious Clap-heads only, and even then some of you may not like it at all. We will be doing more normal episodes soon, it's just been a really tough period and we haven't had the opportunity to record. Check our Patreon if you want to hear some episodes that don't contain vomiting and diarrhea sounds. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/28959153

Omracer, We Need to Talk. 12/01/2023

Omracer, We Need to Talk. This episode is a good one but it's mostly about Om, so if you are not interested in Om then might be worth skipping. That said, even if you aren't interested in Om some of the thoughts and ideas might be applicable to life in general. Also, we have really struggled to record lately due to our dog's injury situation and loads of other crazy stuff going on at the moment, but hopefully soon we'll be able to get back in the studio. The Patreon is still busy though, so get on there if you're not already and you want to get clapped. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/28882933

HAMas 10/23/2023

HAMas In this episode we talk about Israel, Hamas, me needing to piss during a driving lesson, fertility clinics and a RIDICULOUS email from Tyrone. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/28394306

You Don't Actually Eat Hot Food 10/10/2023

You Don't Actually Eat Hot Food In this episode we talk about the situation in Gaza, dog rape, crocodiles, MILF suicide and we hear some truly RIDICULOUS comments from Gregg Wallace. We also read a great letter from a new member of the Clap family. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/28274456

Fuck It 09/13/2023

Fuck It BOOM! Cheek Clappers is back with an absolute banger. We talk about giving away a free bed frame to some angry youths, squirting, arse cramps, infant mortality, zoos, Gregg Wallace and more. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/28022388

You Can't Force The Funnies 09/11/2023

You Can't Force The Funnies This one starts out funny and then we fall into SERIOUSNESS and DEPRESSION. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27997158

Sleep Whackers/Question Time 09/06/2023

Sleep Whackers/Question Time This is two episodes combined. First we talk about a terrifying incident in which Tara was assaulted in her sleep, then later on we answer questions from a list Tara found on the internet. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27954801

OAP Fighters 08/08/2023

OAP Fighters On this episode we talk about a recent incident with our neighbours that ended with me having a (sort of) fight with an old man. We also talk about food, fat people, Jordan Peterson's daughter and much more. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27690513

Flavoured Condoms 08/03/2023

Flavoured Condoms We start off this episode by talking about flavoured condoms and then we invent our own flavours. After that we read some listener correspondence and talk about sluts, prostitutes, sobriety and much more. Patreon: T-shirts: Music: Our forum: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27647721

The World Is Not As It Seems 07/17/2023

The World Is Not As It Seems Things get freaky on this one. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27483531

Life Fucked The Shit Out of Me and I'm Sick of Everything Being Wrong 07/05/2023

Life Fucked The Shit Out of Me and I'm Sick of Everything Being Wrong In this one I talk about my DAY FROM HELL while Tara tries her best to derail it with POINTLESS and SHITTY interjections about NOTHING. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: My new album: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27370995

Start Again 06/28/2023

Start Again In this one we try to start again after a bad weekend. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: My new album: The Bus Driver: A Revenge Story: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27310344

Remember When Pride Was a Sin? (ft. Chris D'Elia) 06/23/2023

Remember When Pride Was a Sin? (ft. Chris D'Elia) We get deep on this one talking about Pride and various other things. Chris D'elia also stops by at one point. Check out my new album: Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/27245178

Don't Rape 05/22/2023

Don't Rape We're BACK (in the studio)! We talk about the variety of Oloffs out there, Blink-182, Good Charlotte, Blur vs. Oasis, incest, Two and a Half Men, pedos, technology, a rotund gentleman eating sweets on the train, me being humiliated by a little girl in a shop and much more. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26910711

No More Monkey Business 05/10/2023

No More Monkey Business In this one we take 2C-B and go for a walk. The first half hour or so is a bit slow but then it gets good after that. We talk about scooters, wanking challenges, perverts, Xenia, Christian films, Sabrina the Teenage Witch being ugly, fucking the shit out of Laura Woods and the time I took a shit in a garden. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26797299

Pieter Tritton ("Posh Pete"): Surviving Ecuadorian Prison, Drug Trafficking, Addiction & More 05/09/2023

Pieter Tritton ("Posh Pete"): Surviving Ecuadorian Prison, Drug Trafficking, Addiction & More Today on Cheek Clappers we are joined by Pieter Tritton (also known as "Posh Pete"), a Cardiff university student turned drug trafficker who spent almost a decade in the Ecuadorian prison system. This was a really enjoyable and interesting interview about a range of topics including mentally surviving prison, the allure of trafficking, redemption, drug addiciton, the prevalence of cocaine in society and much more. If you haven't already I heard it I recommend first checking out Pete's story here: You can also buy his book here: Watch the full video interview on my other channel here: ------------------------ Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26786397

For Concrete 05/03/2023

For Concrete This is a good one. First I relive some INFURIATING family memories and get some stuff off my chest and then we talk about what foods black and white people eat, a guy fucking a crocodile and me fucking a dolphin. Then later on we go for an evening stroll and Tara takes a trip down memory lane to tell us some more depraved stories from the boarding school from hell. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26730975

A Required Taste 04/25/2023

A Required Taste In this episode we start off at home and talk about anorexic people, an OUTRAGEOUS homeless man outside Lidl and various other things before Tara makes us eat some foul pickles which makes me really angry. After that we go for a long walk in the mountains and talk about various things including Savile, Hitler, Pingu, school bullying and Tim Westwood. At one point I fall over which is quite funny but then from about 46:00-73:00 the episode is a bit slower and the conversation becomes a little bit more sparse and atmospheric because of the distracting terrain and increased difficulty of walking in that part of the mountains. If you don't like that kind of episode you could perhaps skip that section, as after that we get to flatter ground and the conversation resumes a more normal pace. Good episode though. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26644785

Dildo Suckers 04/20/2023

Dildo Suckers This episode starts out quite manic and then Tara brings up an embarrassing story of me sucking a dildo which really pisses me off. Later on we talk about MILFs (as usual), the Dalai Lama sucking a boys tongue, Ron Atkinson and much more. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26599041

Happy Easter 04/09/2023

Happy Easter In this episode we talk about my resurrection, inconsiderate locals, deer being sexy, Tara wanting to fuck jaguars, scruffy wrongons and much more. We also eat some eggs at the end. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26488032

RIP Ciaran 04/03/2023

RIP Ciaran RIP Ciaran /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26424981

Monopoly Money 03/29/2023

Monopoly Money Wow! This is a mad one. It starts off fairly normal, with us on our way to a letting agency to resolve a dispute over an apartment. After that we talk about dogs, bad drivers, pedophiles and landlords and much more... Then on the way home things get EXPLOSIVE and we have a huge argument. One for the ages for sure. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26376285

2Clappers-B (Clippers) or: The Ghost of Love 03/13/2023

2Clappers-B (Clippers) or: The Ghost of Love In this one we take 2C-B and talk about Tara having a spicy wank, Pandora's Box, Greek people, a Chinese man being forced to eat shit, Spanish people's tardiness and much more. Our forum: Patreon: T-shirts: Music: /episode/index/show/cheekclappers/id/26209374

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