Daddio Patio

Nothing is off-limits on Daddio Patio. Guided by a Pentagram of five friends, this show cannonballs into everything hilarious and wonderful about the cosmos. Join them on a magical adventure to the holy grail of fun and friendship!

DP129 - Parallelogram 08/13/2024

DP129 - Parallelogram The Sims /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/32554212

DP128 - Foreskin Bodybag 01/03/2024

DP128 - Foreskin Bodybag Kermit the Frog here /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/29319993

DP127 - Take My Breath Away 09/22/2023

DP127 - Take My Breath Away Channel 9 Locker Room /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/28114295

DP126 - Tiny Alien 04/03/2023

DP126 - Tiny Alien After a few months we're back. Anyway what would you paint on your pirate ship? /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/26426814

DP125 - Don't Wake Danny 01/08/2023

DP125 - Don't Wake Danny We closed out 2022 with Daddio Patio's Green Ranger Dan Goedeker. Sleepy hats, Sega Saturn, and Jared Fogle's fat jeans. What does it all mean? /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/25536414

DP124 - Gravy 11/27/2022

DP124 - Gravy Thanks a million for nothin'. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/25140360

DP Bonus - P.D.F.A. 11/19/2022

DP Bonus - P.D.F.A. We were out in New England with no recording equipment, so we did it the old fashioned way. In the cold New Hampshire rain, we talked about Dunkin Donuts and a few other sociopathic topics. Congrats to our buddy Cobra. We love you. Is this episode listenable? You decide. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/25072008

DP123 - Blaberus Giganteus🪳 10/21/2022

DP123 - Blaberus Giganteus🪳 Is intelligence a winning evolutionary trait? Obviously not, because it took them so long to add a backlight to the Game Boy Color. This week, we're joined by friend and bug expert Chippy. He also brought a giant jungle cockroach and left the lid off of the cage the entire time. Chippy brought some much needed scientific knowledge to the show, anyway what if you could use your ass hair as a weapon in Goldeneye 64? From meatspin to decoding the human genome, this is an episode for the ages. Thanks for joining us Chippy! /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/24763557

DP122 - ☀️ The Circle of Life 🦧 08/28/2022

DP122 - ☀️ The Circle of Life 🦧 A long drive with a lot to think about, joined this week by our buddy Phil. Enjoy. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/24188742

DD#89 - McDAVIS WITH CHEESE 08/15/2022

DD#89 - McDAVIS WITH CHEESE Battle Bots & Botulism. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/24061362

DADDIO DUNGEON - #87 Mummy Sandwich 06/27/2022

DADDIO DUNGEON - #87 Mummy Sandwich We found this episode in King Tut's tomb and dusted it off for the internet. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/23547410

DP121 - Fish Happen 🍣 06/09/2022

DP121 - Fish Happen 🍣 We really went off the deep end with this one. What's it like to be eaten by a shark? Why are the hammerhead's eyes so far apart? If you give an Amish person a GameBoy Color will they ever go back to churning butter? All this and more. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/23372480

DADDIO DUNGEON - #81 - Stone Age Disco Weiner 06/05/2022

DADDIO DUNGEON - #81 - Stone Age Disco Weiner Another classic dusted off from the archives for your enjoyment. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/23328113

DP120 - Medieval Pizziola 05/09/2022

DP120 - Medieval Pizziola Here's an episode where 4 subhumans gather in the morning sun and wish they lived in a simpler time - a time when mana, magic, spells, and dragons were everywhere. Was any of that real, or were people just stupid back then? Was life simple and beautiful, or just s h i t t y ? Anyway it's time we revealed John Hammond's true agenda. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/23046065

DP119 - Brotherhood 03/25/2022

DP119 - Brotherhood This one ain't for the faint of heart. We're talkin' about boogers, wedgies, nipple twists, and all of the other cruel and unusual punshment that older brothers inflict on their younger brothers. This one was 9 years in the making, Lance's little brother finally joins us to defend himself after all of the stories Lance has told over the years. We also briefly mention the philosophical value of comedy, or something like that. Anyway remember when they threw Joe Pesci's whitie tightie wearing corpse in that hole? /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/22567901

DP118 - Guacamole Goalie 02/23/2022

DP118 - Guacamole Goalie Hey remember when we had those snow days? We recorded an episode from the comfort of our homes, but never released it. Now that it's snowing again it seems appropriate. We had dogs growlin and cats howlin but we were still able to talk about some of the classics. Orthodontic scams, Joe Pesci, PB&J's and apes. Catch a fuckin snowflake on your tongue. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/22227491

DADDIO DUNGEON - #68 - Sports & Agreements 02/07/2022

DADDIO DUNGEON - #68 - Sports & Agreements This Daddio Patio classic will have you pumped for the big game. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/22044626

DP117 - 🥊 ROCKY 2 🥊 01/31/2022

DP117 - 🥊 ROCKY 2 🥊 What more needs to be said? - All credit where it's due. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/21959771

DP116 - Homicron Alonicron 01/16/2022

DP116 - Homicron Alonicron Hey here's a fact that might melt your face off like Raiders of the Lost Arc - Fatbody joined us for this digital episode. That's right, although we couldn't be together in person, we used the power of the internet to connect and talk about extracting oil from George Lucas' neck. Join us, drink from the empty glass, smoke a bit of the future, kick back, put on a diaper, have some fun. It's just the apocalypse. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/21787673

DP115 - 🌪Tornado Kiosk🌪 12/30/2021

DP115 - 🌪Tornado Kiosk🌪 We jumped the shark years ago. Does it even matter what we talk about anymore? Anyway we kind of recap 2021. This episode is remote, right back where we started, from the comfort of our own homes, with the virus swirling around outside (and inside 40% of the hosts). Anyway, we hope you jump right on into 2022 with our dumb podcast in your airpods. See ya there. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/21630545

DP BONUS - Help The Bear 3: Prime Meridian 12/20/2021

DP BONUS - Help The Bear 3: Prime Meridian In another late night phone call, Peach and Andy discuss high scores, Rocky 5, Kiosks, shoes, and pens. We may have crossed the line this time, but did anyone ever stop to ask why that line is there? What's the line called? Anyway Rocky 5 sucked. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/21548378

DP114 - Grandma's Last Picture 11/29/2021

DP114 - Grandma's Last Picture Tony Soprano had his head transplanted onto a robot mantis body at the end of The Sopranos. We’re not sorry for spoiling that, it should be common knowledge by now. Hey, we’re back with 4/5 original cast members, but still 5 boys. Remember the school picnic? The same salt & pepper shaker ride ran for at least 50 years with 0 maintenance. Is unsupervised fun a thing of the past like those little glass carnival prize pictures? Also, isn’t it crazy how you can go into a thrift store and buy the last photo of someone for $2? Also, whats the latest on the head transplant? All this and more. Makin' your way in the world today takes everything ya got - we're always glad ya came. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/21307262

DP BONUS - Help The Bear 2 11/01/2021

DP BONUS - Help The Bear 2 In the spirit of holiday generosity, here's a bonus installment of our late nite call series "Help the Bear". This time Peach & Andy talk about Nu Metal, Walnuts, Basketball Arcades, and gas station products. Nothin' special, just some buds having a BS session. You're welcome! /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/21013133

DP113 - 🪵 Butlers Gone Feral 🪵 10/25/2021

DP113 - 🪵 Butlers Gone Feral 🪵 Hey MFers we're back. Do you remember that Daddio Patio was almost named jail? Well those criminals do, they were forced to listen to it. This time we talk about all kindsa ridiculousness. Mark Zuck or whatever wants to make the multiverse? A laughing sickness in Japan? VR mass shootings? Will Collin make it to his final destination? Oh also please buy our latest product from the late night TV ad. You won't want to miss this one, order now and get the double VHS set of Butlers Gone Feral. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/20925467

DP112 - Live Your Gimmick -- AGAIN 09/14/2021

DP112 - Live Your Gimmick -- AGAIN It's finally here, the moment you've all been waiting for: THE SEQUEL TO THE CHICAGO WRASSLIN ROAD TRIP EPISODE. That's right, after all the isolation, Peach & Andy get back on the road to pick up where the left off. Caffiene induced anxiety? you got it. Country Fried steak from Cracker Barrel? Of course! Advertisements? You bet your freakin Alanis Morisette CD we got em. This episode is recorded on the road, by the road, for the road, and in the damn road. Please excuse our dear aunt sally for the variations in audio quality. We’ll be back in the stu soon enough. Thanks for listening, go live your gimmick. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/20463677

DP BONUS - HELP THE BEAR 09/02/2021

DP BONUS - HELP THE BEAR On a late night phone call, Peach & Andy ask the important questions. What's the deal with unicycles? What do the different colors of Nike Air Monarchs mean? Why can't those pesky priests just stop molesting kids? How come gratuitous violence can be seen on regular tv, but female nipples are censored? Is it possible to be a successful adult in America without being a total hypocrite? They also recap some of the most memorable super bowl performances. All this and more on this late nite bonus episode. ALSO: Look out for the sequel to "DP99 - Live Your Gimmick" coming soon! /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/20344055

DP111 - Between the Foot & the Flop🩴 07/20/2021

DP111 - Between the Foot & the Flop🩴 We're back. That's right, the first official episode of 2021 - it only took us 7 months. You thought we grew out of ass & sack jokes? NO! We grew IN to the show. This episode was recorded on an actual patio, with a couple of actual dads. We earned this. Anyway, we ask a few burning questions. What if George Costanza never went bald? Why did Lance kill so many lightning bugs? Why did God see it fit to take John Denver from this world? DID BUTTERFREE HAVE SHOES ON?? Also, Peach recounts his first time in the boxing ring! This is a long episode, but there was a lot to cover. Some say we are crusty, sweaty, and forgotten. To that we say - yes. Thanks for listening. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/19875620

DP110 - Neck Store Next Door 12/29/2020

DP110 - Neck Store Next Door Not to be a dungeon of pessimism, but 2020 sucked. We never meant to cause you any sorrow, we never meant to cause you any pain. The Daddios put one more masked episode in the books for this shitty year. This is the funniest, most carefree episode we've done in a long time. All of your favorite DP topics are covered: snacks, strange addictions, Lance abusing his little brother, public pools, sandwiches, janitors, video games, and everything else your calloused little 2020 heart yearns for. Notable absence: orange man. It's time we all reach out for something new, that means you too. But hey, don't forget - poop comes with us into 2021. Things have been tough, but we've managed to keep our sanity by laughing at the absurd and insane things in this world. Thanks for giggling with us. We'll see ya next year. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/17361230

DP109 - 🥛 Hole Milk 🕳 12/14/2020

DP109 - 🥛 Hole Milk 🕳 With a slight lifting of the psychological weight, the Daddios come back in a glorious return to form. This episode has all of the absurdity, philosophy, nostalgia, animal discussions, and bullshit that you've come to expect from your esteemed hosts. Of course, we're still masked in the dark basement. Speaking of psychological weight, being an educator must be very difficult. It's a damn shame that most educators are not paid accordingly. I mean, they're only responsible for a whole generation of minds. The Daddios call friend and longtime listener Alex to ask him about his experience as a middle school teacher. Alex took it upon himself to give us a talkin-to. That's right, we were disciplined on our own show. Clearly, the boys didn't grow up, they then discuss the future of nudity, and Collin reveals that he himself is DairyDaddy on OnlyFans. All this and more, but fair warning: this episode contains spoilers from the Frog and Toad books. It's good to be back. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/17191946

DP 106 - Get Rich or Die Crying 10/17/2020

DP 106 - Get Rich or Die Crying Once again, The Daddios took refuge from 2020 in Andy’s basement. They found little comfort, as they were instantly reminded of the house centipede infestation down there in the darkness. They had to talk about the current state of things - masks, the clown dictator, bugs, global pandemic, etc. Seems all bad right? Wrong! At the time of recording Lancey Boy was on the precipice of validating the title of the show -- That’s right, becoming a DAD! The first of The Daddios to become a real Daddio. Amazing. Also, after showing up with shrimp, Collin beats his microphone like Rocky beat his meat. After a few technical difficulties, the boys get back on track. Dr. Sant joins via phone from the tip of a mountain in Colorado! The world is pretty crazy right now, but still, there is beauty all around. We've found renewed appreciation for the small things amidst the ugliness of 2020. We hope you can too. Thanks for laughing with us. /episode/index/show/daddiopatio/id/16179515

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