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Living with James Part 2
01/28/2022
Living with James Part 2
Starting with her return from the short break in Florida in 2015 Dot talks about how things began to change and sadly deteriorate. James stopped eating and stayed in his bed most of the time. Despite being seen at the hospital nothing helped .Dot certainly needed the break that working at the Thrift Shop on a Friday provided-even though it meant leaving James on his own. Eventually he was in so much pain James himself asked Dot to get the doctor and was taken to the Royal Infirmary where they were asked to consider a 'Do Not Resuscitate decision' During his last days in the hospital ,James was visited by his family and Dot remembers him smiling at his six-month-old grand-daughter Lily. Dot tells us about some the things that they investigated to help support them :groups were not a success ,but James did enjoy going to the bookies and placing a bet. His memory and confusion issues also meant that over time he didn't enjoy seeing the family-apart from the baby. The changes in James personality and moods were the hardest for everyone. Dot describes this as being like Jekyll and Hyde-or that James had been taken over by an alien-as he was not the man she knew or loved .Her faith is very important and at times she would go to the church for some peace-even if she was sometimes angry with God. Her advice for someone in a similar situation? Don't shout, try not to get too upset, go off and have some quiet time. Dot always had a standby bar of chocolate or a cake to make her feel better. Looking back on those last years and final days, Dot knows she has lots of lovely memories and funny times which help block out the difficult ones. Despite the long goodbye, Dot and James were able to to say their final goodbyes which is a great comfort to her
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