For All Abilities
For All Abilities -The Podcast is meant to inform the world of the amazing people out there who are succeeding in HUGE ways with brains who don’t fit into the imaginary norm. While developing software to help businesses support their employees with , dyslexia, autism and learning differences, I was continually shocked to find out how many people were ashamed or felt less than due to these conditions. I vowed to change the way the world sees cognitive differences and the podcast was born.
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Allie Mason: A Diagnosis of Autism While in Graduate School (023)
06/27/2022
Allie Mason: A Diagnosis of Autism While in Graduate School (023)
In this episode, I interview Allie Mason. We discuss the challenge of her diagnosis of autism while she was working on a graduate degree. We also talk about how she has navigated school and work with the diagnosis. To connect with Allie, please follow her on LinkedIn (Allie Mason), on Instagram at whensouthmetnorth and on Facebook at Where Allie Writes.
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Anvita Jain: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with an HR Professional (040)
06/13/2022
Anvita Jain: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with an HR Professional (040)
I am talking in this episode with Anvita Jain about her journey with generalized anxiety and how she navigates the workplace as a human resources professional. Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Follow Betsy on Social Media Twitter: Instagram: Facebook: LinkedIn: Join our newsletter or find out more about our software and services for employers:
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Tim Irr: Finding Your Strengths - ADHD (#006)
05/23/2022
Tim Irr: Finding Your Strengths - ADHD (#006)
In this episode, I interview Tim Irr, Anchor at WSAZ-TV in West Virginia. We discuss the challenges of his ADHD. Tim talks about his childhood and the challenges he faced in the classroom. He discusses how he ended up in television news and how it is the perfect fit for his strengths. To connect with Tim, please , email him at , or connect on . Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Follow Betsy on Social Media Twitter: Instagram: Facebook: LinkedIn: Join our newsletter or find out more about our software and services for employers:
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Episode 44 - An Interview with Cassidy Hooper About Her Life with Turner Syndrome
11/09/2020
Episode 44 - An Interview with Cassidy Hooper About Her Life with Turner Syndrome
For this episode, we interviewed Cassidy Hooper about living with Turner Syndrome. Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast, and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. And I'm back here today to talk to yet another amazing person with Nord neurodiversity, and he's going to talk about her life and how she's using her skills as a person with autism to make a difference in this world. So well show Cassidy Hooper, how are you? Cassidy Hooper 1:00 I'm good. How are you better see the sunrise, your podcast? Yes. So Betsy Furler 1:05 I'm so excited to have you. So why don't you introduce yourself real quick to our audience? Cassidy Hooper 1:11 Yes, of course. So I'm Cassidy Hooper. First, I'm from North East Mississippi. And I was diagnosed with a rare genetic condition called Turner Syndrome. When I was nine days old, and at around 17 years old, I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, a form of autism. And as far as neuro, neuro diversity, and what I do for the autism community is I do some advocacy work for the art of North East Mississippi. I am the community navigator for the autism now division within the ark. And um, yeah, so that's a little bit about me. Betsy Furler 1:57 So what were you like as a little girl? What do you remember about your childhood? I guess, you your diagnosis you knew of when you were little was Turner Syndrome? Cassidy Hooper 2:07 Yes. Um, well, as a child, I was always really sick. Um, but I was in the hospital for a while. But, um, I didn't walk until I was around like 19 months. And so yeah, that's, that's pretty much all I know, for my childhood. Um, I was pretty much sick. Throughout. Betsy Furler 2:38 What about school? Did you enjoy going to school? Cassidy Hooper 2:41 Yeah, um, for me, it was hard to always stay to myself most of the time. I didn't really connect with the other, my peers, um, with other kids? Very much. I just stayed to myself most of the time, but I think I've gotten better socially, as I've gotten older. Um, so yeah. Betsy Furler 3:08 What about in high school did you do in? Were you in special ed classes? Or were you in general ed classes? Cassidy Hooper 3:14 general ed? Oh, good. Okay. Good. Betsy Furler 3:17 And in high school, did you do band or any extracurricular activities? Or did you pretty much just stay with the academic classes? Cassidy Hooper 3:26 I stayed with the academic classes pretty much my entire high school career. Betsy Furler 3:33 Did you what kind of grades did you make? Did you do okay, or was it hard for you? Cassidy Hooper 3:38 Yeah, I did pretty good. Um, I was actually, when I graduated high school. I was for highest ranking in my class with honors when I graduated high school, so Unknown Speaker 3:52 I, yeah, he got really well. Cassidy Hooper 3:55 Yeah. So that's cool. Yeah. What Unknown Speaker 3:59 did you do after high school? Cassidy Hooper 4:02 Well, I went to a local community college, but it didn't work out. So I'm now currently not going to college anymore. So yeah, it didn't work out. Because no, I had to take a math elective. And that's my worst subject. I had visual spatial awareness issues. So math was really a struggle for me. And I had to take college algebra. So yeah, yeah. So it was difficult. So that college wasn't for me. So I was drew and but yeah, Betsy Furler 4:46 yeah, college is not for everybody, right, and doesn't necessarily even give us the skills we need. So what have How did you have you had any other jobs besides the job at the arc that you're currently doing? Cassidy Hooper 5:00 Well, I, I went to rehab, called Building words. But that didn't work out either. So it wasn't a good fit for me. So Betsy Furler 5:15 what kind of jobs did they have you doing Cassidy Hooper 5:17 over there? Why would like woodworking and things like that, like factory work? Betsy Furler 5:24 probably wasn't good for somebody with visual spatial challenges either, right? Cassidy Hooper 5:31 Yeah, exactly. Betsy Furler 5:32 Doesn't sound like a good, good fit for your strengths. Cassidy Hooper 5:36 Yes, exactly. Unknown Speaker 5:39 So how did you come up with the arc? Cassidy Hooper 5:42 Um, I got involved, I connected with the president Cheryl file zone of the arc of Northeast Mississippi chapter locally here. And she, we met, and she just thought that would be a good fit to volunteer at the art as the community navigator. So right now it's a volunteer position. But it's awesome to know advocate for individuals with autism. As someone with autism, I think it's really important to have that experience and to mentor other individuals with autism. So that's been great. Yeah, Betsy Furler 6:35 I agree. Because they're things that you don't know. Unless you've lived it yourself. Cassidy Hooper 6:41 Yes, absolutely. Betsy Furler 6:43 So tell me what kind of things do you do for your Do you call them clients are? What do you call the people that you work with? Cassidy Hooper 6:52 No, no. Um, well, right now, because of the pandemic, it's hard to get the programming going for this division? Uh, huh. No, with the pandemic and all. So we're trying to do some fundraising and things like that to get it going. And, yeah, so it's been tough, you know, with the pandemic, but we're trying to get it going. And, yeah, Betsy Furler 7:22 that's amazing. So what is your dream for what you would like to do in the future? Cassidy Hooper 7:30 for the future, I would like to become a mentor for other individuals with autism. And just, you know, know that they're not alone. And they can be any time they want to be. They can be, they can have a job, they can do anything they want to do in our lives. And autism shouldn't stop them from living our life. Betsy Furler 8:01 That's awesome. So what else do you like to do? What do you like to do for fun? Cassidy Hooper 8:07 Fun, I like listening to music and watching TV and movies and things like that. Yeah. What's your what's? Betsy Furler 8:17 What's your favorite TV show right now? Cassidy Hooper 8:20 I love the Big Bang Theory. And I love the good doctor. Betsy Furler 8:27 I like I really like the big bang theory. I've only seen a couple of episodes of the good doctor, but I really big bang theory. Cassidy Hooper 8:35 Yeah, Betsy Furler 8:36 I did a I did a TED talk just the other day on using our strengths and our differences as our superpowers. And I talked about people who were to he are twice exceptional, who have a cognitive difference or disability as well as academic giftedness. And when I was memorizing, memorizing my speech, I had some pictures that I was looking at to try to help me remember, you know, the different areas of the speech. And I used a picture of Sheldon for that too. Cassidy Hooper 9:04 He Yeah. Betsy Furler Yeah. And so what, um, you said you want to do advocacy, advocacy for people with autism in the future for your work or continue that because that's what you're what you're working on right now. And what do you think your strengths are in the workforce? Because sounds like he made great grades. And so you know, what, what do you think your strengths are that you can bring? Bring to an organization? Cassidy Hooper 9:37 I Yes, well, um, you know, I'm really good on and resources. I'm a very big researcher, and paying attention to detail like I'm very detail oriented. Yeah, and so yeah, I think that will be really awesome for workforce? Betsy Furler 10:01 Absolutely, yeah, those are skills that a lot of people don't have or the or they have no interest in it, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think I really believe everybody needs to find what they do well, and then figure out a job that can use those skills because that way you're happier. And the people that you work for happier. Yeah, we're all happier when we're using our strengths. Cassidy Hooper 10:24 Yes, absolutely. Betsy Furler 10:26 Not having to do something that's difficult and, you know, not built on what we like to do and what we do well. Yeah, well, Cassidy this has been awesome. I'm I think our my audience is going to really appreciate hearing from you and they might want to connect with you. How could people connect with you if in the future? Cassidy Hooper 10:47 Yes, so I have a Facebook Cassidy Hooper. See a SS ID blog. h o. p er. So they can connect me on Facebook. And I also have an Instagram, Miss Cassidy Eden. So that's my Instagram handle. And I connect with me there's Wales. So yeah, with the questions you have. And if you want to connect me and follow me and bring me you can, so yeah. Unknown Speaker 11:26 Awesome. Well, thank Betsy Furler 11:26 you so much for being on the show. Cassidy Hooper 11:30 You're welcome. And I enjoyed it. Thank you for having me. And audience. Thank Betsy Furler 11:34 you so much for tuning in. Again, please rate, review, subscribe, and all those things with this podcast on whatever podcast platform you're listening to. And if you want to know more about the company that I founded, for all abilities, you can go to my website at for all abilities calm, to find out about how we help businesses, support their customers and their employees with disabilities and also help them reach required mandates from the ADA for federal and corporate contracting. And you can also follow me on LinkedIn at Betsy Furler f er le AR. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks so much for listening to the for all abilities podcast. This is Betsy Furler, your host and I really appreciate your time listening to the podcast. And please subscribe on any podcast app that you're listening to us on. If you'd like to know more about what we do in our software that helps employer support their employees with ADHD dyslexia, learning differences in autism, please go to www dot for all abilities.com You can also follow us on Instagram. And you can follow me on LinkedIn at Betsy Furler. f as in Frank, you are le AR Have a great day and we will see you soon. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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Episode 43 An Interview with David Sharif About Working with Autism
11/02/2020
Episode 43 An Interview with David Sharif About Working with Autism
On this episode, we interview David Sharif about working with autism. Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast, and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. And I'm so excited to be here again today talking to all of you, and another special guest. I'll introduce him in a minute. But I hope you all join us for an interesting conversation on autism, neuro diversity, and why we all need to value the differences of others as well as our own differences. So today, we have David Sheree with us and I probably mispronounced his name, but he's gonna tell us in a minute, he has autism and is a Autism Awareness advocate. And I'm really excited to hear about David's life story, and how autism has affected his life. So welcome, David. David Sharif 1:19 Thank you for having me. Oh, and before anything, you perfectly pronounced my last name, so don't worry. Betsy Furler 1:26 Oh, it's a miracle. Unknown Speaker 1:27 Yeah. Betsy Furler 1:29 So why don't you just introduce yourself to my audience? David Sharif 1:33 Sure. So my name is David Sharif. I am a magnet come loud, a graduate of Pace University with a Bachelor of Arts in political science and Peace and Justice Studies. And I currently live in Ridgewood, New York. Betsy Furler 1:47 Awesome. So usually we start the show by talking a little bit about what you were like as a little boy, and your diagnosis everywhere you remember it? I think I read you were diagnosed as around the age of four. Yeah, so you may or may not remember that. But anyway, tell us tell us your own words to tell us about that. David Sharif 2:07 So yeah, I actually do remember my diagnosis. And I kind of noticed my behavioral challenges during my world travels, because I grew up in a family, where global citizenship and traveling the world is a huge passion. So what happened was my family and I were flying back to the United States from Pakistan, at the airport, and Islam about a security guard wanted to look into my suitcase. And I lashed out when that happened, but then my parents had to help me. And then they were able to tell the security, check the security guards that he that he is different. And then so that situation was handled. And then by the time we got back to Los Angeles, I was taken to the pediatrics to be evaluated. I had my early therapy sessions. And I was also a part of a youth group, where I really, really explored, I'd been where I explored the arts in various ways, before I got enrolled into a school that provides different supports for kids with learning differences from pre preschool, kindergarten to high school. Betsy Furler 3:32 Awesome, and you obviously are a smart person. Because you graduated from college, and with honors and you did it in four years, correct? I did, which is not necessarily like, you know, people don't have to do that. But it is an accomplishment in like now it's definitely an accomplishment. So congratulations on that. David Sharif 3:53 Thank you. Betsy Furler 3:54 So what was what were you? What were your academic? and academics like early on? So like in elementary school? Did you struggle in school? Or did you always do pretty well? David Sharif 4:06 So back in elementary school on the workload wasn't that tedious. Um, so during elementary school, we had something called spelling tests, they were a combination of short words, long words. And the spelling tests didn't matter about the words that we got, right? It's really about learning how we spell them how we learn from mistakes. And, and even before I got into upper elementary school, we had separate reading groups based on the comprehension skills of other students. And then we were reading stories that we were familiar with and were not familiar with. We had to learn how to catch words that specified the main idea of a story. And then moving into around fifth or sixth grade. This was a really, really fun learning style. That I enjoyed very much. And it was visualizing and verbalizing, which is looking at an image using 12 different categories to picture the, what the image is representing. And also, we had to do the same thing with stories that were around four to five sentences. And really, really studying the essence of how you can comprehend a long story when you start to read longer books, and especially stories that are not going to be black and white. But even before fifth and sixth grade, my peers and I were very, very lucky to have had a teacher who really helped us improve our reading skills with analogies, synonyms, opposites. And he was so great because he helped everyone improve their reading skills. And we even learned how to catch verbs, nouns, adjectives, we had to mark do different markings on what we discovered and what we read. And we, and moving into the advancements of technology, we learned how to type properly on the keys with different sources that teach us how to type sentences. And then without looking at big computers, we had alpha smarts that have the keys in the same spot. And that's how we practiced our typing to see if we made errors if we didn't make errors. This is really all about discovering the way we learn how we are different. And sometimes the challenge of it is, there are students who are more advanced than other ones. There are students who have a who are following the criteria greatly. Students who have really, really kept up with the needed criteria to move forward to further education. And sometimes there is a lot of argument between students about that. I had been in that situation before. And and it was certainly not fun at all. Betsy Furler 7:14 I love the visualizing and verbalizing idea. And I'm a speech pathologist by training. I don't know if I told you that earlier. Um, so that is so interesting. I love it when I hear people's stories about great things that happened to them in school. And clearly that made a huge impact on you and probably helped you all the way through college. Oh, yeah. David Sharif 7:37 Well, I actually wanted to bring up to the point was, after elementary school, the administration told me that I would not graduate high school. So then in my first year of middle school, I was not on the deployment track. In the school that I went to, there are three different tracks. The diploma track is the advanced track where your learning styles are right at the expectations and you can go to any college you wish to go do so and then from diploma track, there is the certificate track where you are doing work that is kind of too easy, you're not really challenged the way you expect yourself to be. And depending on how your learning styles go, you can potentially take some college courses and classroom settings at community colleges, but not at universities. And the lowest one of the mall is this other certificate program where you really have not improved your learning styles far enough into the point that, okay, this is not going to go well for you. And then after your high school years are done, you're going to go into some different kind of training program that will prepare you for things that may be easier for you. And how it works is if you are not on the diploma track, like I said earlier, that you are not eligible to apply to colleges. Without a doubt you are not eligible to apply to universities, or even schools that are nationally recognized as the top or best ones. Unknown Speaker 9:16 Wow. So you found this out in middle school? David Sharif 9:18 Yes, I did. So in seventh grade, I really didn't care about not being on the diploma track because I was actually too busy with preparing for my bar mitzvah. But then when my brother went to college in New York City, I got very, very upset about it because I was going to be humble alone and I had nobody to mess around with. So and so in eighth grade. I started in in the certificate track of the middle of eighth grade and so my parents advocated for me to proceed to the diplomat track. So in the middle of eighth grade, I went to the diploma track and I was succeeding very well in it and then when I got it into high school, I was placed in the deployment track what I wanted and expected. But then there were multiple meetings with my parents, the teachers and the principals about my learning progress, how I was doing and the strategies that are going to be needed for me to stay in the program and to pass my classes successfully. And I am very, very proud to say that all throughout high school, I had made the aorta row five times and the A and B are in a row three times. Betsy Furler 10:31 That's amazing. And, you know, what also is amazing is that I'm so thankful you had the parents that you did, who helped you advocate for that. And you think about the kids who have autism, who don't have parents who are able to advocate for them or don't know that they should, and don't person confidence in their children. And you know, what they miss out on and with their education? David Sharif 11:00 Well, I really, really do want to bring something out onto this point that I have been around kids who were who did not respect me or did not like me because of my academic success, and that I was doing better than them. This is not school related. But I was also miss treated for finding a home away from home, which is a summer camp that I went to the Poconos, which I also called my imaginary Where's wizarding school, I am a huge Harry Potter fan. And I have memories of watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone every weekend when I was like four or five years old, when my family got the video that but going back into high school, it was very serious because my reading comprehension skills were not that great. But they weren't in English class. But in history class, they were pretty decent because I did enjoy history. And with all the traveling I've done in my years, it was easy to recognize that I was very good with mathematics or and I did decent in science as well. And the other thing that I got mistreated about was the fact that I mentioned I live in a family that loves to travel the world, I have been traveling the world since I was two months old every summer every winter, I was also mistreated. For all the traveling I'd done. This is a very, very huge thing that I will say. I was bullied by a group of twin brothers and some of their supporters. They told me that I should not go to college in New York City, and that it would never amount to anything for me. But what did I do? I took their pessimistic feelings. I used them what they told me and I took my inspirational attachments to become a magnet can lead a graduate of a prestigious university. Betsy Furler 13:06 That's amazing. And I I think that's the best revenge for bullies. Oh, yes, they're doing it's succeeding at the thing that that they're trying to tell you that you can't do. And I do think that bullying often comes out of jealousy. Rather than Unknown Speaker 13:27 Yes, Betsy Furler 13:29 the tribe thinking that someone really is less than them. Usually they think you're more than they are. And that's what they don't like. David Sharif 13:36 Well, yeah, and, and I never and sometimes it's hard to really reveal that and I really tried to be as private as I can. And usually in my locker I have printed pictures of me with my friends from summer camp, and what they have done for me to support me and how they have been a part of my autism journey. And also pick pictures from New York City because New York City is considered to be my dream city. And I fell in love with it when I first went there and when I walked into my grandparents his apartment, just looking at the gorgeous views of the city lights and all the vehicles and I did that every morning while my family was sleeping. And another thing that kind of relates to the bullying was I also got bossed around by another person I'll senior year because this person was going to go to a community college and I did not choose to do that I wanted to blaze a new trail which was to go to a university and I kind of do I kind of meant to be boastful about this but I do want to mention this because it is true. And I do keep it as a fresh memory. I graduated high school as valedictorian and I am the first student from my school. To go to a university in New York City and the other side of the country, and I never noticed that until the end of my journey, and, and despite being told that I was going to be valedictorian. Before my last semester of high school, I had to focus on getting good grades and maintaining them, and even to remain admitted into peace University where I went to and the first school that admitted me, Betsy Furler 15:30 that's amazing. And were you the first person with autism to be valedictorian at your high school? Do you have any idea? David Sharif 15:36 Oh, no, no, no, it's like, more than 80 or 90% of our students are on the autism spectrum and learning differences. And also, like I mentioned before, the school I went to is a multidisciplinary special needs school. So every class or almost every graduating class had a valedictorian on the autism spectrum. So that part does not correlate to anything. Betsy Furler 16:06 So one, one thing about autism that I have noticed since I've started doing this podcast, actually, and because I love people with autism, and how people with autism think I think it is such a gift to our world. And to have people to Brett whose brains work in such a unique, different and interesting way. And what but one thing that I hadn't really realized until I started doing this podcast is when I have guests with autism on my show. I know everyone with autism is different, right? But the one thing that I have found that is very consistent is that guests with autism, make their appointments really fast, keep their appointments, and are always on time for their appointments with me. So I appreciate that so much. And I think that also probably really served you well in school because you did that as well. As soon as we discussed you being on the podcast, you immediately booked. And here we are today. And I think those skills are really great skills academically and possibly in the work world, which we'll get to in a minute. But I love to hear about college, what your college experience was like, and what your social life was like at college, and how you use your unique brain to succeed at college. Sure, David Sharif 17:33 so I went to college at Pace University in New York City on the New York City Campus. During my college career, I received comprehensive support with the Oasis program. The Oasis Program is a program that helps students with learning differences, navigate college life and prepare for the real world of work. I was a part of that program. All my years of college, I had an academic coach that I met with at least once an hour, four times a week, I had extended time on exams, I was not allowed to use notes on the exams, unless if the professor allowed it, which was different. And there were some classes that I had been in with that before. My academic coach would help me prepare for exams, get by presentations ready to make sure that I have that I am ready to present and talk on stage. And also would help me with my draft papers on a Google Drive and to make sure that my citations are accurate because it is without a doubt required on almost every single paper because we're using sources that are not considered to be our own and we have to credit Um, so another thing that I very much liked about my college career was I participated in an employment readiness workshop that is reserved for upper sophomores or seniors in the Oasis program. It could be for juniors and seniors right now I'm not entirely sure about that. In our work readiness program, we are trained by our career slash internship counselor, along with employment skills coordinators from another nonprofit that I actually work for right now. We have 12 weeks of the workshop, where we learn about communication in the workplace, how to behave in the workplace, drafting resumes, writing cover letters, mock interviews, which are considered to be practice interviews that help us prepare for the real one. And also to understand what our goals are and ambitions are when we enter the real world of work. And the goal of that is for every student in the Oasis program to have an internship or to be interning at any company before they graduate college. And I have had the privilege of doing administrative work as an intern for my grandfather's company, partners for progressive Israel. Betsy Furler 20:21 Ah, that's amazing. So, your college sounds like they did an amazing job or preparing you for the workforce. David Sharif 20:28 Yes. And and another thing that I would love to bring out and that I missed most about college was I traveled abroad five times during my college career. So my first adventure was a January term course, that on ecosystems and biodiversity, I studied that at Universidad San Francisco de Quito and Quito, Ecuador. And I went to the Galapagos. And this course was administered by a by an instructor with scuba diving experience and also trained with biology from the United Kingdom. And the study abroad program was administered by the American Institute for Foreign Studies, which is a study abroad organization that provides day trips, excursions and cultural activities, I support the organization 100%. So then, after my January term abroad in Ecuador, I went abroad with the same organization to Barcelona, Spain, in the fall semester of my junior year, where I studied global politics, and euro Mediterranean Relations at a large public university in Barcelona. And then I did the same thing in my senior year of college, the January term in Berlin, Germany, studying the rise and fall of Nazi Germany and anti semitism, which was a pretty emotional one. Because knowing that Judaism is my religion, it's very hard for me to control my emotions at these places, sometimes one of my favorite colleges, and one of my favorite college courses, in being a political science major was Model United Nations Model United Nations takes you beyond the classroom. It's like you write a position paper, that is very short, you are given a country that you have to represent like every institution has on but you can choose the UN committee that you think you can work your best in. And that is how it usually happens. Sometimes we get our top choices, sometimes we get our second choices. And we attend the national Model United Nations Conference in New York City during the spring semester. That is considered to be the pinnacle Model United Nations Conference in America because it is the biggest one out of the mall with more than 4000 delegates from all over the world. And there are two separate conferences. Every fall semester, our Model UN team travels to Washington DC, which I never took in the fall semester. So I got to take Model UN three times, I did two conferences in New York City. I applied and was accepted to attend an international one. So when I took Model UN for my last and third time, I attended a conference in Rome, Italy, where I represented the People's Republic of China in the Economic and Social Council, but even expanding the studies of the United Nations. Right before my senior year began, I participated in a United Nations program in Geneva, Switzerland, where I got to go to the UN headquarters in Geneva, visit...
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Episode 42 - A Business Owner with Autism - Mark Fleming of Equally Fit
10/26/2020
Episode 42 - A Business Owner with Autism - Mark Fleming of Equally Fit
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Episode 41 -From a Nonverbal Child to a Speaker and Autism Advocate: Jeff Snyder
10/19/2020
Episode 41 -From a Nonverbal Child to a Speaker and Autism Advocate: Jeff Snyder
On this episode, we hear from Jeff Synder. Jeff was diagnosed with autism as a child. He was nonverbal and talks about learning to talk. He walks us through his journey to becoming a public speaker and advocate. Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast, and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. This is Betsy Furler, your host and I'm excited to be here to introduce you to another special guest. And this podcast is all about talking to people who are living successfully with neuro diversity, like autism, ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences, as well as other disabilities, because I am so passionate about all of us embracing our differences and the differences of others, because I think our different brains are what really makes our world an interesting, productive and efficient place. So today, our special guest is Jeff Snyder. Welcome to the podcast. Jeff. Jeff Snyder 1:16 Thank you for inviting me, Betsy. Yes. Why don't you introduce yourself a little bit to our audience. Okay, well, my name is Jeff Snyder. I am 31 years old from seekonk, Massachusetts, here in Providence, Rhode Island. And I have been I was first diagnosed with autism at 21 months old. I've I am a 2007, graduate of seekonk High School. And upon my graduation, I was the first student with autism to have completed pre K through grade 12 in the seekonk public school system. Um, my day job is I work as a janitor, janitorial specialists for a major supermarket company up here. And I and since 2015, I have been living in my own apartment, and I am also a home. I'm also a panelist on the show on the weekly video series, Ask an Autistic every Tuesday, which is on every Tuesday night at eight o'clock on YouTube. And I am also a avid world traveler and I am also a fan fiction writer. Betsy Furler 2:28 Awesome. Well, I'm so excited that you're here. And as we talked earlier, you probably don't remember your diagnosis at 21 months. And but what do you know about your early childhood? What were you I like when you were a really young child? Jeff Snyder 2:46 Well, when I was really young I I didn't, I was very much nonverbal. And when I was first diagnosed with autism, I, I remember I couldn't talk I would sometimes resort to hitting things and throwing things just to communicate. And it wasn't. And it wasn't until about 1998 when the serious news came to my house to interview me for a special that they were doing on a thing called autism. And until that moment, I didn't know I was on the autism spectrum. And it was not until they came to my house, they that I found out about my diagnosis. So you might say it, it took about I didn't know till I was about nine years old that I was on spectrum. Betsy Furler 3:45 Wow. When did you and when did you start talking? Do you know? Jeff Snyder 3:50 I remember I think I was nonverbal. I think I was about four years old. Betsy Furler 3:56 That's amazing. I'm a speech pathologist by training. So I'm always very interested in hearing stories of people who were late talkers, who were now who are now communicating well, so that's amazing. So what was it like when you went off to school when you went to kindergarten and then to elementary school? Jeff Snyder 4:18 Well, I began my education. In 1992. When I was three years old, I was enrolled. I was enrolled in like a special special school special preschool and then that was an odd northborough. I was at a I was at St. Lawrence school in North Providence, which was where I began my educational journey and then and then I began my my my proper preschool training in 1993 at teddy bear preschool here in seekonk. And then I first enrolled in the I first went into the seekonk public school system in 1994. And when I went In when I was in kindergarten, I met a really, really nice um, I had a really nice teacher and, and the funny story is that when I graduated from priests from from preschool, teddy bear preschool, I had met my kindergarten teacher and and for some reason I, I somehow don't remember saying this but from what I heard was my kindergarten said, Geoffrey Snyder, are you looking forward to going into Miss coils, kindergarten Catholic kindergarten class, and I said, Geoffrey Paul Snyder is and going into Miss coils kindergarten class, and, and for some reason I I don't, I mean, I don't remember saying that. But, but I guess that's what the story is. And then when I was throughout elementary school, I had been, um, during the summers, I would get, like, assisted tutoring from my kindergarten teacher, I remember throughout my entire elementary school career during the summer, I would, I would go undergo special tutoring with her, we would, you know, get out into the community and do things and we also do summer, the equivalent of summer readings. So, so I mean, I, I did have some, it was all included in my individual education wise plan or IEP. So, you might say that, um, I did have some kind of assistant training during my, during the first half of my school career ran through till I went into middle school. Betsy Furler 6:37 Were you in general ed classes or in special ed classes in elementary school? Jeff Snyder 6:42 I was in general ed classes, but I was again on the IEP and I would um, for like, a few times a few times a day, I would do speech, I would do occupational therapy. I would do like, learning sent home or club I mean, because I'm a lot of us don't like to do homework at home, we would rather do it at school. So I I have that luxury of doing that. So, um, but I'm but for the most part, I was in general, I was in regular sized classes in elementary school. Betsy Furler 7:18 What about middle school? So most kids in middle school start doing you know, more extracurricular activities, sports, choir band, things like that? And what was middle school like for you? And did you do any of those extracurricular type activities. Jeff Snyder 7:34 When I was in middle school, I was actually put into special i was i was put into special education classes. And as a matter of fact, some of the pilot programs that were created around me are actually still in existence to this very day, believe it or not, um, and, I mean, I attended all I attended all regular classes, but but one thing I will, I will say is the one special class I was special, a class I was a part of was special in math. And for the first two years, sixth and seventh grade, I was in special ed English. And when I, when I went into eighth grade, I was put in a regular English class, because our reason was that because the teacher, my English teacher, they had an eighth grade, also taught my sister and she had become, she had become very enamored of me through my sister. So that was how I started to kind of branch out of doings regular English classes, but I still did on special ed, math classes in sixth and seventh grade. And then, for the first semester of my eighth grade year, I was in a regular math class when that didn't work out. I went back into a special ed, math class. Betsy Furler 8:57 And then you went on to high school and you went through the same feeder pattern, right. So you were kind of with the same kids from elementary, middle and high school. Jeff Snyder 9:08 Well, I mean, for the most part, yes. No, I mean, like, um, like when I got to middle school, things kind of changed. I, in terms of students, I did have some are regular. I did have some classmates that follow me to the high school program, but then I went, but I did, but I did stay in. I did stay in a specialized math class from ninth grade, and 10th grade and, and all the other classes amazingly were. Were all regular sized classes, and the only class I didn't take in high school was foreign language. Because because they offered Spanish, French Portuguese And I couldn't do all those things. So that was it that was in my IP. That was including my IP that I would not take a foreign language class. And I actually didn't take gym class my freshman year, but in sophomore and my senior year, I did take some classes. So Betsy Furler 10:22 that's interesting about the foreign language I was I was actually just thinking about that today about a child that I know who's he's six, he's in first grade. And he's in a school, a private school that he has to take two different foreign languages. And I was thinking today about oh, my goodness, that's, I think this is so confusing for him. So I'm glad you had a different experience and didn't have to, didn't have to do that. Um, did you like being in general ed class classes or in special ed classroom classes more? Jeff Snyder 10:56 Well, I mean, there were some generalized classes that had about 30 people. So I will say from firsthand experience, that it can be overstimulating to be in a class of 30 people, but when I was when I was younger, I would always mask my emotions. So that I could try to fit in and, and looking back now. I mean, I, part of me wishing asked importantly, wished I didn't ask but, but for the most part, I mean, if I wasn't in, if I wasn't in regular classes in high school, then things would be a lot different right now, because I had a friend that I gotten to know, a lot of my gen ed teachers on a personal level. And if, if I wasn't in general, if I wasn't in those general classes, then things would be a lot different. So it was more about the personal relationships, that was more than the actual class size. Betsy Furler 12:01 Okay. That's interesting. So when you said when you were really little, you would throw things and kind of have temper tantrums around communication? And what was your quote unquote, behavior? Like, in middle and high school? Were you one of those, it sounds like you might have been one of those people that just kind of shut down, shut out. What's going on around you, rather than acting out? Jeff Snyder 12:27 Well, when I was, um, when I was in Milan, high school, I mean, I will say that my, I would always show two faces, the face I would show in school was very different from the face I would show at home. When I wasn't when I was in school, I tried to be, I would try to bring a sense of professional professionalism into, into my, into my education. Because, you know, school, I think a lot of people don't realize this is that school is sort of a professional environment. I mean, you're around teachers that have to be professional in their appearance. And, and, and believe it or not, my dad for 35 years was a vice president for a major company up here in New England. And so I adopted that business style that he had, and took it into my public schooling. I mean, sure, you know, there's a lot of kids that sure a lot of my fellow classmates weren't on the same page as me. Of course, nobody is. But that was, that was my mindset going into going into the educational aspect, it was just to maintain a level of professionalism. But at home, but at home, things were obviously different. And I don't want to go into too much of that, but but, you know, school was the professional side and home life was the personal side. For me. Yeah. Betsy Furler 13:57 That also that probably really helped you when you got out of school, that you had all those kind of years of practice of, of acting professional and probably more grown up actually, then a lot of kids act. Jeff Snyder 14:13 That is true. Yes. I, um, it did help me in a sense. I mean, um, and the funny thing is, when I got into after I graduated high school, I didn't go into college, I only took a few classes at a community college up here and in Massachusetts, and, and I gotta tell you, college is very different from public school life. I mean, the thing with with some colleges is that they don't accept you, when you're on it and stuff me I didn't get accepted into Johnson and Wales for their own tourism and hospitality services. And then I was also accepted into Bristol Community College, which is the aforementioned community college that I took a few classes. At. And then for for a couple years from I think 2008 till 2013. I did take a few college classes, I took one math classes, a reading class, actually two reading classes and two writing classes. And then I came to the conclusion that, you know, college isn't for everybody, and you don't have you don't need a college degree to go anywhere in life. So when i. So, in 2013, I took the arm, like a heavy level, advanced writing class, and I had to, I said, You know what, I can't do it. I mean, I'm done. And so, for me, it was more about and there's a time to walk away. I mean, you know, I said to myself, you know, I did my job, in school in public school. College is a whole different animal. And, you know, I was, I was happy. I mean, you know, I've been, I've, it's seven years later, and I, I have no regrets for, for stopping my college education. Betsy Furler 16:06 That's great. And, you know, the good thing about that, too, is if you ever decide you do want to do that, to get good want to go back to college, you always can, right, there's not like you've, you know, never shut the door completely on it. But I think that is, I think that's a really good point that college isn't for everybody. And that's okay. Because there's so many things, so many skills our world needs that you don't even learn in college. So it's and sometimes it's it this, the stress of it is, is so detrimental to people that they they go just because they think they have to or they think that's what society is expecting of them. So tell me about well, I want to I want to hear about your fan fiction writing and about your job and about the advocacy that you do. So I guess that you know in whatever order you feel comfortable with. Tell us about that. Jeff Snyder 17:07 Well, while the first in regards to my fanfiction I am well first off, I am also a member of the Disney and Brony phantoms. And for those of you listening who don't know what a brony is, they are fans of the show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic that actually ended on almost a year ago. Last October and for the past seven years I've been writing seven or eight years I've been writing fanfiction not not just of story space from My Little Pony but also of Disney have and a few other things. And for those of you who aren't familiar with the term fanfiction, a fanfiction is a story based around a movie, a TV series on a book on you know all those things and you take the characters from that story and you put them and you put your own little spin on it. And I've been doing that for I remember I did write my first fanfiction, to be honest in 2004 but it wasn't until about 2012 that I really started taking off with my fan fiction writing and and then so but with and right now I'm currently working for the past year I've been working on a continuation of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic on I've ran a season 10 I have ran a season 11 and i have i've actually literally just start work on season 12 the season 12 premiere was published last week, so Betsy Furler 18:46 that's amazing. So where do you Where do people read your fanfiction? Jeff Snyder 18:52 Right now my two main profiles are on www dot FanFiction. Net my username is Twilight Sparkle 3562 or one all one saying have spaces in I am also on www dot fanfiction dotnet with the same pen name, Twilight Sparkle 3562 and then I am also on DeviantArt also Twilight Sparkle 3562. So those are really the three main writing platforms that I use for my fanfictions Betsy Furler 19:28 That's amazing. I didn't know anything about fanfiction until a couple of years ago when the movie A Star Is Born came out the Lady Gaga Bradley Cooper version. And I was obsessed with the movie. And anyway, there's a lot of fan fiction around that movie. And so that's that's when I discovered this phenomenon and I think it's amazing that i mean it's it's so fun that you know now we have the internet that can bring us together on on niche interests like that and all of that. Other people's visions and ideas about things. But I also think it's amazing that you had you know, you you are able you, it sounds like in in high school you struggled a bit in the general ed English class and now you're writing, you know, a lot of information and I'm enjoying it sounds like you enjoy it too. Jeff Snyder 20:25 Yes. And actually, during my, in my eighth during my eighth grade year of middle school all the way through English in high school was where I really started to kind of hone my craft. And if I wasn't in if I never took generalized English, General English classes to begin with, I wouldn't be able to, you know, do my fanfiction writing. So, I do get, I got to give myself a lot of credit for you know, being in regular English classes from grade eight through grade 12. Betsy Furler 21:00 Yes, that's incredible. Um, tell us a little bit about what you do during the day, your day job. Jeff Snyder 21:08 Oh, my day job is um, for the past. Um, well, my first real day job was ran after I got out of high school I was at borders bookstores in North Attleboro, Massachusetts I was at I was a bookseller at their store from 2007 to 2010, I started working in inventory, and then I worked my way up to customer service. And then from December 2010, till today, I have been working for a major supermarket chain called stop and shop. I started out as a bagger. And I am currently a janitorial specialist for the, for them. And, and I mean, I, you know, at first I kind of like my job, but right now, but it's not good. But the thing with jobs is that they don't last forever, you can't be in the same job forever. And I mean, they're, you know, be closing the chapter, at my time with unstoppered chop, they're a great company, but I mean, it's, you know, things, things change. And, and, you know, you know, and I have, you know, I've got really good talent, and I mean, I have very good computer skills. And I mean, you know, I will say this, that we all have skills that we sometimes have to, that we wish to harness, but we don't know how. But when that time comes, you got to take it, you got to take it. Because if you if you don't take those chances, then you're not going to get that second chance. Again. Betsy Furler 22:54 That's so true. And I also believe that, you know, you kind of have a job that you enjoy for a while, but then you know, when it's time to be involved, so glad you glad glad you realized that and, you know, can go on and, and keep working and you know, doing other things, and hopefully we'll get it get to work to your strengths. Because my hunch is that the janitorial work is probably not working to your strengths. You can do it, but it's probably not what's what what your strengths really are. Jeff Snyder 23:25 Sure, well, you might say that yes. Betsy Furler 23:29 What about your advocacy work? Jeff Snyder 23:33 Well, for my advocacy work on fit, I've run a run a group page and a railer page on Facebook. If anyone's interested on my Facebook group, my facebook group is called Jeff Snyder, disability self advocacy. It started off as Jeff Snyder autism self advocacy, but and then the summer of this past August, I had changed it to Jeff Snyder, disability self advocacy, and we have an right now I have close to 500 group, almost 500 people that are of this group and also pay all this advocate, which is also originally called Jeff Snyder, autism self advocate and change. I changed the name of that of my page along with my group also in August. And then I recently actually I became a moderator for the global hawks subprojects Facebook group autism knows no borders. Betsy Furler 24:40 Awesome. I think...
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For All Abilities – The Podcast Liz De La Torre - A Successful Nursing Career with ADHD For this episode of For All Abilities: The Podcast, I spoke with Liz De La Torre - one of my son’s nurses. She talks about her nursing career and ADHD. To connect with Henry, please email her at [email protected]. Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Transcription by Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody. This is Betsy, your host for all abilities. Thank you so much for joining me today on my podcast. This podcast is meant to inspire everyone to use all of their differences as their strengths. And we frequently talk about neuro diversity and how it's so important to have different brains in this world. Today I have a special guest, Liz della toray hopefully I said that correctly, Liz, please introduce yourself to my audience. Liz de la Torre 1:05 Hi, I'm Liz de la Torre. And I am 60 years old. I've been a nurse for 37 years. And I have been ADHD actually since I was 21 years old. So 49 years 39 long time. Betsy Furler 1:24 Awesome. And we met, um, because you have been my son, Henry's nurse, several multiple times. And we got started talking and I was so glad that you agreed to be on the podcast. And so I guess I gave people a little bit of a teaser that you're a nurse professionally, but we'll get to that in a minute. And so tell us what were you like when you were a little girl? Liz de la Torre 1:48 So when I was little, I went to Catholic schools and it was just strict girls school nuns only, and I never could sit still back then there wasn't a day diagnosis of and so I was always getting spanked, pinched ears cold, you got ants in your pants, that kind of situation. And I would try, you know, super hard to just sit down and pay attention but I couldn't because I was my mind was going elsewhere and I needed to get up. So it was that kind of thing. I'm home. It was pretty. I had an older brother. He was nine years older than me and it was kind of like, he was also in a private school. But he would poke at me, I think, I guess he knew, you know that something. I couldn't sit sit still or whatever it was that he would always poke at me and get me in trouble with my parents. Especially. Yeah, Betsy Furler 2:52 you spent a lot of time in trouble. It sounds like Liz de la Torre 2:55 I did. I did and it was like, as hard as I would try. Boom, you get it. Betsy Furler 3:02 Right, you just couldn't make your body do fit into the box of what they wanted you to how they wanted you to behave. Correct. So what about when you got on to middle school in high school? Liz de la Torre 3:16 Okay, so middle school and high school the same kind of situations with the nuns. And, you know, once you're in middle school, there was it wasn't like we have normal schools now I kind of just float into the next one and then it flowed into high school. But it was pretty much the same thing. grades, I could make super good grades without even studying. But if I didn't care to do it, I would just kind of you know breeze through it because like I said, My mind was going 50,000 miles a minute, and I didn't understand what was the deal. Why didn't everybody else think in speed version like I did. Betsy Furler 3:57 Did you go to the same school for 12 years or were you did you move at each different level? Liz de la Torre 4:04 So much amount Sacred Heart, which was the elementary school and I went there through sixth grade. And then seventh grade at Incarnate Word. This was in San Antonio Incarnate Word open their seventh and eighth grade. So that's where I went seventh through 12th grade. Betsy Furler 4:23 Okay. Okay, so it's kind of same feeder pattern, so to speak, but different schools. So, what did you think? Well, let me ask you about homework, first of all, because I, as I've interviewed so many people, homework seems to have been a big issue for people, lots of people with ADHD. How did you do with homework? Liz de la Torre 4:44 No, my homework I had was impeccable. I would, I would do it all the time. And I wanted my homework to be perfect. It had to be. I actually we were laughing the other day at work. Because, um, my grandmother taught me how to write and she would take erasers off the big pencils. Well, my brother came home one day and he was bothering me. I was writing my ABCs and he said, What are you doing? Then I kept saying, I'm writing, I'm writing and he pushed my arm so my pencil went across the paper. Ultimately, I was ruining my paper. The man died with the red mark in his in his eye. Unknown Speaker 5:26 Literally. Betsy Furler 5:27 Hey, I think a lot of us have scars still from pencils been poked out. Yeah, he definitely deserved that. And well, that's interesting about the homework. So why do you think the homework was easier for you to concentrate on than the schoolwork? Liz de la Torre 5:45 I don't know. Maybe it was maybe it was because I was in my own environment. Maybe it was because somebody wasn't telling me constantly your back your or pinching at me or poking at me or doing something to me. Maybe that's what it was. I really don't know. Betsy Furler 6:03 Did you do homework in silence? Or did you have like background noise and things like that? Liz de la Torre 6:09 No, I always had to have and looking back on it now. I've always had to have some kind of noise. Music mainly going on background. Betsy Furler 6:20 I went homework versus in the school setting. Unknown Speaker 6:25 I never thought about it. Betsy Furler 6:29 That's interesting. So after high school, what did you do? Liz de la Torre 6:32 So I went to college, um, high school was a blow off. It was a party time for me. And so when my parents were moving from San Antonio, they both retired when I graduated. And oddly enough, they were moving from San Antonio to Houston to retire. Um, so I wanted to stay in San Antonio because I had just gotten a new little boyfriend and all that good stuff. So my main focus, my main thing is I told my dad, I want to go to college. And he looked at me like, it was extremely demeaning. And he said to me, You need to marry one of our rich friend sons. Why would you go to school, college after high school? And I was like, because, you know, high school to me, a C and A d when I got in high school, that was great. I was passing Unknown Speaker 7:21 too bad. Right? Right. So Liz de la Torre 7:23 he looked at me and he said, Okay, I'm gonna let you stay. one semester. What do you want to be? A nurse just popped into my head, and I said, and he said, a nurse, you want to be a nurse? I said, Yeah, I want to be a nurse. So he said, Okay, one semester, we're gonna see how it goes. So he got we got an apartment. I had a car, paid for my school. Dean's list for five semesters. Betsy Furler 7:55 Wow. Where did you go to nursing school. Liz de la Torre 7:58 I went to see Antonio College for the first two semesters because I think he wanted to see if his money was gonna be spent or not. And then I went to UTSA. And so, at the end of that, it was time it was gonna be time to go into nursing school because I'd gotten all my, you know, I gotten all my academics and stuff down. And so he and my mother came down. And this is a this is about when I went to and I got diagnosed. And they asked me, my dad asked me, so do you like your apartment? And I was like, Yes. Do you like your car? Well, yes. And finally, he looked at me like I was some kind of dumbbell. And he said, Do you like to eat? I said, Well, yeah, of course I do. And he said, then you're gonna have to get a job. Like, get a job for why he said, Well, if you want to stay in Houston, San Antonio, you're gonna have to pay for all your stuff. Or you can come to Houston. And I was like, Are you serious? He said I am. So I had to pack up and I came to Houston and during a physical for enlisted in a during a physical for nursing school. That's when it came up about because I started noticing in math and statistics I could memorize, like series of numbers and keep it. Uh huh. And it was like, What do you call it when you can? Like photographic memory, I can do it. My son can do it, oddly enough, too. But it was eat. That's what a nursing school was extremely easy because I could read the testing material the night before, go to sleep. Wake up and I could see the page. So it was like, great. There it is. But they did diagnose me at the time. It was something before Adderall that they gave me. I forgot what it was. But it started making me calm down. But what it really did is it made me be able to put things like in sequences so I could understand stuff. Betsy Furler 10:12 I went through I said, I said before you were kind of you had a great memory so you're able to just regurgitate that material. Correct? Excuse me, but not necessarily and comprehend and, and synthesize everything together. Liz de la Torre 10:28 I think I could I Well, I'm sure I could comprehend because of my grades and everything. But what I started to do is I think it was things that really interested me that I can stop for a minute and pay attention. And there you go, there it is. Betsy Furler 10:50 Yes, and I think nursing is such a great career for people with ADHD because it's so it's fast paced, and then it's always something different. You know, Like you have all these different patients with all these different conditions, having, you know, in your current job setting different, you know, different treatments being done. So, it's got to be more exciting than some other, you know, a desk job or whatever. Right. So after you were diagnosed, what kind? what difference did that make for you? Liz de la Torre 11:23 It's almost as Um, Unknown Speaker 11:27 so Liz de la Torre 11:29 I could concentrate more. I could effectively do things like so. When I would stay when I go to start cleaning a house, I'd be in the kitchen. Then I would go to Oh, I remember there's there's a glass in the bathroom. Let me go get it did not start cleaning the bathroom, you know, and it was like, and then the Unknown Speaker 11:51 planes Liz de la Torre 11:51 cracked in the bathroom, you know, it just wasn't completed. So once I started getting medicine, it was like, I could Concentrate and know I can't go there. I need to stay here and complete this task. Uh huh. Was it? You know, Betsy, when I'm thinking about it with work, I could complete stuff. And I don't know. I don't know. Maybe like I said, maybe it was just because there was a big interest there. Right. Betsy Furler 12:21 Right. warehouse workers say is boring anyway. It's Liz de la Torre 12:25 not a big interest. Right? Yeah. Betsy Furler 12:30 So how did it help your self esteem to be diagnosed? Or or did it did it help? Liz de la Torre 12:37 I think as far as my self esteem, I don't. I don't think it helped that. I think it helped me understand that. When I was a little kid, I really wasn't a bad kid. I just really couldn't sit still. There's just too many things going on and I was just wired different. Betsy Furler 13:00 It kind of explained it. You were able to understand yourself better. Probably correct. Yeah. So then after you got out of out of nursing school, where did you What do you didn't end up doing? Liz de la Torre 13:12 So when I was first a nurse, I became, it was an odd year. So I graduated nursing school. I got married. I got I got pregnant, and I passed my boards. Wow. Yeah. Easy year. Yeah. And so my first job was at Methodist and in labor and delivery, and I really loved it really, really loved it. But once again, when I got pregnant, I quit taking my medicine. So I was learning about labor and delivery. And I couldn't I couldn't grasp how to how to figure out how many centimeters do they dilated because it's kind of like I was concentrating on too many things. They're finally it snapped, I got everything. And it just kind of like all fell into place. When it happened, you know, once I started understanding, but now I was really having to control my thoughts because and you know, in my mind because it was racing. Mm hmm. There was nothing to settle it down. So it was kind of like me having to talk me down. Interesting because once I kind of, I guess I got a taste of the good, or the right wife, you know how it's really supposed to be? Uh huh. And then when it got taken away from me when I got pregnant, it was like, Oh, no, here we go again. Mm hmm. But now I think I was getting I was like, 24 now 20 Yeah. 24 And so now, I was kind of getting used to or starting to understand how to talk through it and in with me in my mind. And yeah, kind of like myself, Betsy Furler 15:05 you were able to coach yourself through it this summer. So how do you think that HD has hindered you and then also helped you in your career? Liz de la Torre 15:20 So, I can't, I really can't see that it's hindered me so much. Because I've done a lot in my career. I was the nurse have been taught in the emergency room. Um, and you know, there, you're having to triage excitement. Yeah. I know, you know, you're having to triage and you're having to keep stuff. This goes here and this goes there. And so I think it really helped me. A lot of and after that a lot of my jobs. They've been, like the nurse manager for home health, always with infusion. Mm hmm. I've always had to, you know, once again, triage what's important who's got to be seen. Where are we going? What part of the city? And then if there weren't nurses, I had to, you know, I'd have to jump in and go see patients. Mm hmm. And then come home and do my come back and do my desk job. So it was, I can't say it's hindered me. Betsy Furler 16:21 It sounds like it sounds like nursing, you somehow just fell into a job that's perfect for you. Liz de la Torre 16:31 I think so. I mean, it's always like, like you said, it's a fast pace. Everybody's different, you know, from what we're treating now. As opposed to you know how it was before when we were doing home health. there was all kinds of antibiotics off TPN the total parental nutrition stuff I used to I was one of five in the city who used to put picc lines in at the very beginning when picc lines came out. Uh huh. So that was kind of cool because you get called, you know, can you go do a picc line, Betsy Furler 17:04 blah, blah, and you go, right, right. And then that was also probably kind of good for you. I know with myself, I'm not diagnosed with ADHD, but I definitely like a variety of different activities. And if I had a desk job, it's kind of what I'm doing now, because I'm doing everything from home. But then occasionally, I'll get to go do something. And it's like, just having that change of scenery occasionally, I think is so helpful for just not getting bored and refocusing and everything. Liz de la Torre 17:36 Correct. And I think if I would have had to stay home in the midst of it and when it first started all this the COVID I don't think I would have done well. I would have gone nuts. Yeah, because it was just Betsy Furler 17:52 Yeah, that's a great topic to discuss here because we are still you know, most of us are still staying home. You've gotten to go to work or had to Get to work however you want to frame that. And yeah, so, um, let's talk a little bit about COVID and stay at home. How do you think you? What do you think would have happened if you had to stay at home and you weren't an essential worker? Liz de la Torre 18:17 Well, I know what happened on the weekends. I frequented the garden center and Lowe's almost every Saturday and Sunday and have a nice garden outside. I just couldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to just stay home. Uh huh. Betsy Furler 18:37 Well, that's awesome. much weight. I've lost 25 pounds over the stay at home order because I started walking and then subsequently running because I can't stay in my house all day, every day and on the you know, it's like when there's nothing else to do. It's like at least I can walk around the neighborhood. Oh, Liz de la Torre 18:57 yeah. I couldn't do it. wouldn't have been able to do it. Betsy Furler 19:02 Yeah, that's really interesting. My husband also has ADHD. And he's also considered essential because he's in construction and as a general contractor, and I think it's saved. It's saved him. I think he would have he, you know, it's been very hard on him anyway. And I think it really would have been awful if he wouldn't have been able to get to work at all. Liz de la Torre 19:23 That's correct. That's so right. Yeah. Oh, my God, it would have been dreadful. Betsy Furler 19:31 And he probably would have driven everyone around you crazy. Liz de la Torre 19:35 I would have my husband is one that can sit on the couch and watch TV. And it's like, how can you do that? Do you not have a bedsore yet? Oh my god. Betsy Furler 19:50 So and it seems like at the infusion center that y'all have stayed pretty busy the whole time that it hasn't really changed workload or anything. Liz de la Torre 20:01 We got a little slower than we are right now only because of the chairs. Oh, Betsy Furler 20:08 that was it. Essential distance between the chairs. Right, right. Liz de la Torre 20:12 We should really have like, I think it's 18 or 19 chairs right now. But, you...
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036 - Thriving with Medical Challenges Including Autoimmune Encephalitis with Henry Furler Part Two
09/14/2020
036 - Thriving with Medical Challenges Including Autoimmune Encephalitis with Henry Furler Part Two
For All Abilities – The Podcast Henry Furler Part Two For this episode of For All Abilities: The Podcast, I got to talk with one of my very favorite people. I interviewed my son, Henry Furler! Henry and I talk about the life threatening medical problems (including epilepsy, dysautonomia, autoimmune disease, autoimmune encephalitis) that he has faced throughout his life and how he has succeeded despite all the challenges. To connect with Henry, please follow him on LinkedIn (Henry Furler) or email him at . Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Transcription by Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Henry Furler 1:17 I'm so glad to be here again. So when we left off, we were talking about middle school and then High School is when it really got interesting, right? Yes, I'm in ninth grade. For the first semester. I was completely, I was completely homebound. And that would have been 11th grade. No, it was 10th grade Dengue Oh, I think it was in 2008 it might be 11th grade because Henry's usually right about dates. So, okay, anyway, so I'll start at 10th grade since we're mentioning that. Um, so in 10th grade I started at a very small private school called Xavier educational like how to me where the majority of the classes are online, but you go to a school location and they have like tutors interact with. So okay, tell them about being Dengue So in 2015, I went on a youth group trip and to Port Aransas, Texas, and a week later National Institutes of Health on tropical diseases and specifically, I think the West Nile and Dengue so he had a presumptive diagnosis of dengue fever, with all the symptoms and you're right that after Betsy Furler 9:38 So we forgot Henry also to tell them that while all this was going on, you were very active in Boy Scouts. And you're also very active in the children's advisory board at Texas Children's so wanted to tell them a little bit about Boy Scouts because you had finished your Eagle before he had dengue Henry Furler 9:56 Let me finish with the dengue first Okay. to the National Institutes of Health because the disease had finished its progression and she couldn't report it it was tested too late yes um, and dengue of the Betsy Furler 10:33 pretty much for your lifetime after you get them dengue is one of those and that will come up later. And he also during the dengue he started having a lot a lot of severe dizzy spells and heart rate variations and breathing variations and was ultimately diagnosed with dysautonomia, so tell them a little bit about your extracurricular activities since your life wasn't awesome. Henry Furler 11:00 In the hospital, it seemed like it was. So a few years before I got dengue I became an Eagle Scout. Through the Boy Scouts of America, I built a cell phone charging station for the emergency Center at Texas Children's Hospital. And then I was on the children's advisory board at Texas Children's Hospital, which helped a lot with making the hospital more family pay family. Patient Centered Care is what they call it. Betsy Furler 16:01 All through your life really, although you've been really medically complex and sick so much, but the good thing about you, Henry is, if you're not in the hospital, you're pretty much living life as quote unquote normal. So, maybe dengue was awful, and then you develop the dysautonomia after it. And then two years ago, almost in November, on November on November of 2018, So much for being on my podcast for two episodes. Yes, I am glad that I got to share my story with all of your listeners. And if somebody wants to reach out to you to get more information or find out more about you, how can they find you? My email again is [email protected]. Thank you for being here, Henry. I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. I love you too. So, thanks for listening to my part two of my interview with my son Henry. And please like rate review, and subscribe and all of those things to my podcast on whatever podcast you're listening to this on. Please share the podcast and please follow me, Betsy Furler on LinkedIn and on Instagram at for all abilities on Facebook for all abilities, Twitter. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to for all abilities the podcast. This is your host Betsy Furler. And today we are talking about talking with someone who has succeeded so exceptionally despite a lot of challenges. Frequently we talk to people with different types of neurodiversity like autism, ADHD, dyslexia and learning differences or with people with physical challenges, and today I am talking to my son for part two His medical story and medical challenges. So part one talks about kind of birth three Middle School. And part two, we are starting with his high school years. So welcome back to the show, Henry. Henry Furler 1:40 that was a mess. Betsy Furler 1:42 And he had had we also forgot to say that he had a vagal nerve stimulator implanted, which is an implantable device, almost like a pacemaker for your brain, right? Henry Furler 1:51 Yes, that within. That was at the beginning of eighth grade. Betsy Furler 1:56 But yet your seizures persisted. It has helped over time Yours at your Caesars Caesars persisted. So for ninth grade you are home. And do you remember why what were we what we were getting ready for Henry Furler 2:09 for that fall? I do not. We were Betsy Furler 2:11 getting ready for the ketogenic diet. Oh, yes. So tell them about starting the ketogenic diet. Henry Furler 2:17 So when we first decided that we were going to do the ketogenic diet, and we went to the hospital and talked to the doctors, they were adamant that I would not follow the diet completely, because I was a teenager, and they were wrong. Betsy Furler 2:36 So I said, Henry is like the most compliant person on the face of the earth, even if he is a teenager. So why don't we just try it? So we actually changed hospitals. Remember, we had to change Henry Furler 2:48 we moved from the Texas Children's Hospital to children's Memorial Hermann. Betsy Furler 2:53 Yep. So we had to change. neurologists made a new neurologist and then she got him started on the diet. So tell him about that. fat. Henry Furler 3:01 So it's an interesting diet, lots of mayonnaise, butter, olive oil, um, you have to measure all of your food in you have to weigh all of the food, and it's very time consuming. And we did it for almost five years. Betsy Furler 3:23 So for the first like two or three months, I think I made almost all your meals. Remember, we used all those little recipes or those little things that we had to follow and measure to wait a 10th of a gram. And then you took over, learn to cook started cooking all sorts of super interesting keto things, and it did help them with it did help with your seizures after when you start the diet. Henry Furler 3:50 Like my mom said, for the first what is it three to four months I think you have to do everything very very specific and you have to weigh everything no carbs at all. And then after that you can start transitioning into the more relaxed where you don't have to weigh anything, weigh everything, but I'm still a lot of oil and drinking olive oil, which is not the best thing to do with olive oil please Betsy Furler 4:27 and eating Manet she got a you liked eating man a straight? Henry Furler 4:31 Yes. Betsy Furler 4:32 Mayonnaise is delicious and heavy cream, lots of heavy cream. Henry Furler 4:35 Yes. But you can mix things with heavy cream. So Betsy Furler 4:38 that's true. And so you kept on that and you did well and then in 10th grade Well, you had a couple of hospitalizations, several hospitalizations on getting the keto kind of settled in your body. Because you had refeeding syndrome. Remember, like prisoner Have war have when you're fed, again because of the effects of the keto, and then some hospitalizations for illnesses and seizures and all the regular stuff for us. And then in 10th grade, you got really, really sick. And, and tell them about that. Unknown Speaker 5:20 So Henry Furler 5:23 around Or mentors that are actual teachers. I'm there to help you with all of the assignments. So the assignments are online. And for the majority of the classes and they're graded, and outside of the school, that's how Betsy Furler 6:17 it was done then yeah, now it's a little different Henry Furler 6:20 yet now they have actual teachers, um, and quite a few of my classes while I was there had actual teachers I'll mention that in a minute. Um, but, um, because you could work at your own pace at that school that worked very well with my medical issues at the time. Betsy Furler 6:43 Henry didn't really like being homebound and ninth grade and being homeschooled. He was homebound through the school district, but I also homeschooled him or he homeschooled himself, but he really likes the input of other teachers and peers. So Xavier worked really well for that and it was nice and flexible. Henry Furler 7:01 I loved the majority of my classmates as well my graduating class was I think 10 or 11 students. I loved the majority of them. There were a few that were a little difficult, difficult to I started having some really bad symptoms, my body would be aching a lot. Betsy Furler 7:43 So you had a severe headache behind your eyes here you can tell that he had a severe headache behind his eyes, severe body aches and was very weak. And so we ended up going to the into the emergency room they thought he had meningitis. So they did a spine They'll tap on you with no anesthesia. Um, and they he was admitted, because he was so sick. And after quite a few days in the hospital, he was they, they didn't really know what was wrong, but my husband saw something on TV about Dengue fever. And we were able to through our network contact a local woman who also happens to be a national authority on tropical diseases. So she actually came to see him after we got home. Henry Furler 8:34 She, she is a doctor and she is one of the national authorities with the Betsy Furler 8:58 the disease progresses To that point where you have bleeding under the skin, and bleeding and the GI tract, Henry Furler 9:06 I think, I think the the bruise was from an IV that I had at the hospital during the hospitalization and it stayed for over two weeks, even though there was no bleeding like from the IV, like they got it was a really good idea, actually. But the lady who came the National Authority who came to our house and did the test, she said, um, a week or so, later, she said, it's ding gang. It is to help children so that they don't feel scared in the hospital. Betsy Furler 11:39 And we learned a lot about things like we talked to the other kids and learn that they only gave people one chance of drawing blood. And we had been giving them three chances. And we realized that the error in our ways and we went to the one chance because if they don't get it on the first chance that they're probably not going to get it right. So you also were inquiring Middle School. Shut up, shout out to Mr. bola. Henry Furler 12:02 Let me say something else about the Texas Children's advisory board. So there were a lot of fun things that I did with the children's advisory board one time. We tried new foods from the kitchen at the hospital and rated the foods and they were actually all really good. The food at Texas Children's is actually really good. Another thing, if any, but if any of you know of radio lollipop that some hospitals some children's hospitals have, we went to the hospital one night and we did like a children's advisory board takeover of the radio station and that was a lot of fun. Um, we have like a little day trip every year to celebrate the end of the children children's advisory board year and that was we did a lot of fun things and where are we now with the Betsy Furler 13:04 choir. So I think that he did children's advisory board for like eight years, like from 11 to 19. Okay and then choir just say just give a shout out to Mr. bola Henry Furler 13:16 shout out to Mr. bola for directing the linear middle school choir and for doing all those awesome trips with the choir we went to Disney World twice. It was a fun school trip to Disney World. And then we went to Fiesta Texas in San Antonio once Betsy Furler 13:34 and one of the benefits of having a medically complex child is you get to go on all the trips because they get kind of scared of him and so I get to go and I don't know maybe the next time you go on a trip you might go by yourself finally because you're 22 now but anyway, I like having you there with me. Through all the school trips, I got to go even if they already had enough chaperones. They'd either kick somebody off to let me go or does add me as an extra. So that was fun. He also did the the geology thing. Henry Furler 14:10 Yes. When I throughout the time that I was in high school, I did a G a series of geology field trips through the University of Texas at Austin. They have a program called geo force, Texas. And we did a series of professional college level and geology trips. A lot of my education actually since about fifth grade has been a college level staff, but presented so that a a middle schooler, or mostly high schoolers, it was like, it was like, I've been taking AP classes basically since I was in fifth grade. But um those trips were like college classes. And they were a lot of fun because we go to a lot of different places one year, we went to Padre Island and Puerto ramzes. And we went out and we took like an open ocean like boat and they let us swim in the ocean and a shark actually brushed my foot. It was a little scary but fine. We went to Utah, Montana and Idaho I think the last year and we went to go see I get Yellowstone and Yosemite mixed up all the time. It's the one with the big geyser. I think that's Yellowstone. Betsy Furler 15:46 So that was really fun. And I didn't go on the trips, but I went to the location and hung out just to make sure that he was okay. And so we so we you got to do a lot of fun stuff. you had or there earlier in that month, you'd had a little cold. And then about a week after that, you got the flu shot. And then a week after that, you want me to tell the story or you want to have it a week after that. Henry Furler 16:48 I kept being what we thought were frontal lobe seizures, they call I think they call them focal seizures now, and that would look like temper tantrums For a few months before that, Betsy Furler 17:04 really years but they've gotten progressively worse and we thought you had Pam's and tell them what pan's is because I always get it wrong. Henry Furler 17:12 That's the pediatric autoimmune, neurological, something, Betsy Furler 17:22 something like that. Anyway, we thought that he had that and then in November, I came home, our washer and dryer both broke that day. And so I Henry had had a seizure that morning, and then went into a catatonic state, he'd been having progressively more seizures and more strange behavior. But that morning in particular, he had a grand mal seizure. And then later in the day, he went into a catatonic state and our washer and dryer both broke, I ran to the store to buy a washer and dryer, and when I got home, he met me at the car with his backpack gone and said we have to go to the emergency room. There's something wrong with me. So we went and in the emergency room he went into a psychotic event and, and also started seizing and was very aggressive. Do you remember any of that? No. So they put him in scrubs like they would for a psychiatric patient. And then I convinced I and our wonderful nurse Lacey, and convinced them that it was medical because he was having so many seizures. So they did not put them on the psych ward, which is such a blessing because had they have done that it would have been really hard to get the medical testing that we needed. And it's a very long complicated story, which we might have to have a whole separate podcast for someday, but the short version of the of it is that he ended up having autoimmune encephalitis. Henry Furler 18:55 If any of you have seen brain on fire The movie with what's her name? Susanna Callahan. Um, her story. It's basic, it's it talks about the autoimmune encephalitis Betsy Furler 19:15 so you were having delusions and you are very, very scared and you are responding to that with being very aggressive and only certain people could be around you or touch you. So I was one of those people and Lacey was one of those people. And then as you got transferred to a different hospital there, there would be nurses here and there that you were okay with them touching you, but if someone would come at you or be confrontational at all, you got very aggressive and very upset and very scared. And like you wanted to flee and you were paranoid and it was horrible, horrible, horrible, and then your Henry Furler 19:59 There were points before November, where when did we go to the wedding reception in Tyler? Betsy Furler 20:09 That was right before that, Henry Furler 20:10 Okay, um, when we got home when we were driving home, we passed No offense to anybody if they are a member of this faith but we passed at Jehovah's Witnesses meeting house and I thought that they were coming after me. And before that when my mom would be...
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035 - Thriving with Medical Challenges - Henry Furler Part One
09/07/2020
035 - Thriving with Medical Challenges - Henry Furler Part One
For All Abilities – The Podcast Henry Furler Part One For this episode of For All Abilities: The Podcast, I got to talk with one of my very favorite people. I interviewed my son, Henry Furler! Henry and I talk about the life threatening medical problems (including epilepsy, dysautonomia, autoimmune disease, autoimmune encephalitis) that he has faced throughout his life and how he has succeeded despite all the challenges. To connect with Henry, please follow him on LinkedIn (Henry Furler) or email him at . Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody, welcome to the for all abilities podcast. This is your host Betsy Furler. And I'm so glad you're here. This podcast talks about the amazing things people are doing with brains and bodies that may be different from the norm. Often we talk to people when they're diversity and today I have a very, very, very special guest with me. I know I always say that my guests are special and they all are but today is the most special of all. Special guests. I have my son Henry Furler. With me today. Hi, Henry. Hello. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad to be here. Henry, I want you to tell my audience about your life as a little boy. So tell us what you were like as a little boy. And we can weave in areas of your diagnosis. So, all start, I guess by telling the audience that you were sick from the moment of conception. I had a very rough pregnancy. And when you were born, you had a hard time and had a blue spell when you were about 24 hours old. Where you stopped breathing. We were still in the hospital. And you also had to be re hospitalized for three weeks because you couldn't gain weight, then you had apnea then you had seizures at about three months. And but you are an amazing, very smart baby, despite all of your medical challenges, so why don't you take it from where you remember and about three or four years old. The other thing my audience has to know is that Henry has an amazing memory. And he remembers things even from when he was really tiny. So tell the audience about what you were like as a little boy. Henry Furler 2:26 I remember being very energetic and loving to learn new things. And I remember a lot but it's usually usually specific thing, little memories, little memories. Betsy Furler 2:42 What were your favorite things to do when you were like really little like two to four years old. Henry Furler 2:47 I liked to go to museums and go out to places where I could learn new things I loved watching Arthur on TV and watching other PBS Kids shows that most kids Wouldn't be watching. Um, we watched a lot of Forensic Files on Discovery Channel. A, you can explain why we watched. Betsy Furler 3:14 We watched a lot of Forensic Files when we're in the hospital and he also loved Ancient Egypt. Henry Furler 3:18 Yes, I did. I've loved history and social studies since I was little and that has influenced my future. career path. I'm currently getting a degree in anthropology from the University of Houston at Clear Lake. Betsy Furler 3:35 So, um, you were in the hospital a lot, even as a very little kid. What do you remember about being in the hospital when you were little? Henry Furler 3:45 I remember that it wasn't. It wasn't fun. But, um, the nurses and the people who would come to visit me tried to make it more interesting and I remember being in the hospital as a, I guess you could describe it as more of a joyous experience. I remember when I was little, I had one at one point I had an ID in my foot. And I would be taken around in a little wagon and we would go around the hospital and they had little play areas. And, um, I remember at one point, my dad brought window markers to the hospital, and we would draw on the windows in my room and have the, the window that went out to the hallway. Betsy Furler 4:40 So a lot of people think kids are really scared in the hospital, but you were usually not scared there when you were little. Henry Furler 4:46 No, I've had a lot of experiences in the hospital and even when I was little. If kids have been in the hospital a lot, they may still be scared of the doctors in the hospital, but I was never scared of the hospital. Betsy Furler 5:02 And you may not remember but I started teaching you when you were two to know which medications you were supposed to be taking, and kind of what they looked like and what the names were. So you were able to tell the nurse if they gave you the wrong medicine. So that was really different than most little tiny kids on the hospital. Henry Furler 5:21 That's something that I still do. I always ask the nurses to show me the medicines and to show me what they brought to the room doing the ibig. Actually, I think I don't have to ask them because they always show it to me beforehand. So Betsy Furler 5:37 So what kind of school did you go to an elementary school? A lot of people think that if you have lots and lots of seizures and other medical issues that you have academic problems. So tell my audience a little bit about your academic experience. Henry Furler 5:50 When I was in elementary school, I'm in kindergarten, I went to a normal school. It wasn't Specifically gifted and talented but I was classified as gifted and talented there. And then starting in first grade, I went to a gifted and talented and IB primary years program, school that was very diverse and taught about a lot of different things that focused on how we can connect things in the world. And I feel like my education there was more. I'm trying to think of how to explain it. I'm thorough, even though we didn't focus on specific, fixed subjects all the time. So the things that we would focus on would be themes or topics, and we would focus on those for a few weeks. And the normal subjects like math, science, social studies, and English would be woven in to that. So there was no like math time or science time, there was there were themes and we would weave those subjects into that. Betsy Furler 7:12 So in elementary school, you may not know this, but you were classified as special ed as well as gifted and talented, near classified as special ed because of your, your medical issues. So tell the audience what kind of accommodations you got in elementary school, if you remember. Henry Furler 7:29 I don't really remember you thinking any accommodations other than the extended testing time for standardized tests. I don't even know if I had that in elementary school. Betsy Furler 7:40 You did, but you didn't really need it. But what you needed was small group testing, more so if you had a seizure or something happened that you didn't disrupt a whole group of kids and you only disrupted a few kids, so it was easier for them to manage. You also had extended time for assignments and preferential seating although I don't know that you really Even needed that our class our class say Henry Furler 8:04 that our classes were very small anyway, the largest class I remember having an elementary school, I think was maybe 22 students, which is much smaller than a lot of elementary school classes these days, which can go up to 3032, or maybe more, which is, I think, is Betsy Furler 8:25 very big for an elementary school class. So you continue to have seizures and had some really severe allergies that caused you to go into anaphylaxis. And so, one time he had to have an ambulatory ECG, which to my audience, that means it's a test that looks at your brainwaves, and they put on all the electrodes on your head and if it's ambulatory, it means walking around. So it's something that you can go about your daily life with. Now, most people when they do ambulatory, Eg they just stay at home. But did you stay at home with your ambulatory ECG? Henry Furler 9:03 No, I was in second grade and I went to school every day that I have the ambulatory ECG on. A lot of the kids were actually very intrigued by the ambulatory ECG, they didn't make fun of me or anything. My school was very accepting of every pretty much everything they would ask me and I would explain to them that it was looking at my brain and how my brain was working. Betsy Furler 9:31 Do you remember that every year we talk to your class about your medical problems? I do. Um, Henry Furler 9:40 it got a lot more complicated to explain those things to the class as as time progressed, because we would find out more and more things. And I believe we stopped doing that when I started Middle School. Betsy Furler 9:57 And the the greatest thing about that That and why I can encourage other parents to do that is because your friends that you went to elementary school with to this day are some of your best advocates and friends and one of them even went to college with you when you lived in the dorm. And she was so aware of everything that was going on with you. And I was so concerned and such a great friend. So let's talk about Middle School a little bit. So after elementary school and you were so taken care of at River Oaks Elementary, I know, there was one time that I had to be a little firm with them because they wanted to take away your special ed dead designation, because you were so smart. But I wouldn't let them do that because you remained having the medical problems and we never knew what was going to happen or how much school you might have to miss. And we needed to preserve that. So you couldn't get kicked out of the magnet program. So what happened in Middle School. Henry Furler 11:01 When I start right before I started Middle School, I'll start with this. I started having a lot of anaphylaxis ik reactions, which were eventually attributed to something called colon ergic. urticaria, with anaphylaxis, and I missed a lot of days of actually, it only happened a few times before we started on the prescription medicine to work with that, but a few times I had anaplastic reaction that school and I had to be taken to the emergency room. Betsy Furler 11:33 And that's called an Arctic Arctic area with anaphylaxis is basically a, an A anaplastic reaction, or a severe allergic reaction to your own sweat. So he would sweat and then he would swell up and have an anaplastic reaction. Henry Furler 11:50 There's an episode of The Simpsons where Milhouse lists a lot of things that he's allergic to. And at the end, he says, and I'm allergic to my own tears. And just so you know, that can actually happen. So, Betsy Furler 12:05 yeah, so so you had all of those allergy things going and then in sixth grade you had a video eg that I thought was going to show you weren't having seizures. And it turns out you were having seizures every 10 minutes, but they were small, what they call petite mall or ops on seizures. So you had those in sixth grade but I don't think they affected you too much at school right? Henry Furler 12:30 No, I did very well in sixth grade. I didn't have to go to PE because of the cool energetic urticaria but um, which now I kind of regret going to PE not going to PE I feel like that's an experience for children in school all by itself. But my son terrible for some people. Um, but yes, I did very well throughout middle school. I'm trying to think of other things to say about sixth grade. Uh, it was good. Um, yeah, I think that's it. There's not a lot of, Oh, I had a lot of teachers that I really loved. We still keep in touch with a lot of them that that I met throughout my middle school experience. Betsy Furler 13:24 Yeah, your middle school was great and it was also a gifted and talented magnet with IB. Henry Furler 13:30 The middle years program starts in Betsy Furler 13:32 sixth grade. And in seventh grade though, we tell my audience what started happening in seventh grade. Henry Furler 13:40 I started having a lot more seizures when I was in seventh grade, um, maybe about once a week, and they were they were the grand mal seizures, but they would happen so fast that it looks like they were what would be called by some people drop seizures, Betsy Furler 13:58 right and you have to start with wearing a helmet because you had a couple of concussions. Henry Furler 14:02 I started wearing the helmet in eighth grade, maybe about halfway through eighth grade. And what was Betsy Furler 14:08 it like wearing a helmet in middle school? Henry Furler 14:11 Oh, people with the school loved it. They wouldn't make fun of me but they'd give me they'd asked me about it just like when I had the ambulatory eg and they'd give me stickers to put on the helmet and it was fine. Betsy Furler 14:25 And everybody signed it like they would sign a cast. Henry Furler 14:27 Yes, they did. We got metallic Sharpie markers and they would sign it and it was a skateboard helmet. When you think of someone with seizures wearing a helmet, you may think of those a soft kind of like, entire foamy entire head covering helmets, but my dad insisted that we get a cool skateboard helmet. And the doctors that proved that. They said that that would be just as good as the foam helmet. And we did that. Betsy Furler 15:02 So at this point, we didn't really know what was wrong. We had thought that you had a fatty acid oxidation defect, when you're really little, and then we thought it was another disorder of metabolism. And that never could none of that could be proven. So, around that time we went to the Cleveland Clinic, we'd already been to the Mayo Clinic, which you enjoyed right. And, and he saw our wonderful doctor, Dr. Buckley at the Mayo Clinic and then we followed him to Pittsburgh Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, and then in about eighth grade, we went to see Dr. COVID Dr. Marvin dito Vich at the Cleveland Clinic, and once you tell my audience about that experience, so Henry Furler 15:51 we went to see this doctor at the Cleveland Clinic and he sat with us for about six hours. I think that's Seven and a half, I think, Okay. And about halfway through the appointment. He had gone to the restroom or something. And he walked in and he said, I know what's wrong. And we were so excited. And he said, Henry is an alien. And then we're like, Unknown Speaker 16:19 yes. He said, it's the only Betsy Furler 16:21 POS that's the only logical explanation for this. Henry Furler 16:26 And we were like, yeah, that has to be it. And then um, that's the rest of the appointment was pretty normal, but he ordered a skin biopsy. And we did the skin biopsy the same day that we were leaving on the airplane, which is not a good time to do a major procedure like that. And they did it without any anesthesia Betsy Furler 16:55 entered two samples. Henry Furler 16:57 Yes, they did. Betsy Furler 16:59 So the first one was wasn't as bad because you didn't know what was coming. Yes. So after we saw Dr. Neto Vich we really hung on to the alien thing. And we decided that I'm the alien. My husband is an earth lane. And Henry is half alien half Earth ln, and that's why he has so many medical problems. We decided that he was right that Dr. nitobe, which was right, and that was the only possible explanation. So Henry, I think we're going to stop here. And for now, and we'll grant it we're going to do a part two. Henry Furler 17:33 Okay, Betsy Furler 17:34 so if you want to contact Henry and, Henry, I always do this at the end of my podcast. So tell tell the people with the best contact for you as Henry Furler 17:44 well. If you want to contact me, you can email Betsy Furler 17:47 so and your email Henry Furler 17:49 It is [email protected] Betsy Furler 17:59 so Thanks, Henry for being on this part one, and in it and then we'll do a part two with the rest of the story. Thank you audience for tuning in. As always, I appreciate it so much, please like rate review this podcast on whatever podcast platform you're listening on. And please tune in next time for the rest of this story of Henry. Good bye for now. Thanks so much for listening to the for all abilities podcast. This is Betsy Furler, your host and I really appreciate your time listening to the podcast. And please subscribe on any podcast app that you're listening to a song. If you'd like to know more about what we do in our software that helps employer support their employees with ADHD dyslexia, learning differences in autism, please go to www dot for all abilities.com You can also follow us on Instagram. And you can follow me on LinkedIn at Betsy Furler f as in Frank You are le AR Have a great day and we will see you soon. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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034 - Surviving and Thriving with Mitochondrial Myopathy - Isabelle Stahrfisher
08/17/2020
034 - Surviving and Thriving with Mitochondrial Myopathy - Isabelle Stahrfisher
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Thirty Four - Isabelle Stahrfisher - Surviving and Thriving with Mitochondrial Myopathy In this episode, I interview Isabelle Stahrfisher- recent college graduate and graduate school student. On the podcast, Isabelle and I discuss her early years with a serious chronic illness (mitochondrial myopathy), her strengths and interests and her college experience. We also discuss her dreams for future employment. To connect with Isabelle, please go to her Facebook page (Isabelle Stahrfisher) or e-mail her at . Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody, welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. This podcast is all about talking to people with different types of nerve diversity and other disabilities who are doing great things in this world. And today I have a special guest and her name is Isabel Starr Fisher and I've known about Isabel for almost her whole life. I think her mom and I met when she was three years old. She's around the same age as my son Henry. So I'm really excited that she was willing to be on the podcast today. Welcome, Isabel. Hi. Isabelle Stahrfisher 1:11 I'm so excited to be here. Betsy Furler 1:13 Awesome. If you could just introduce yourself and tell my audience a little bit about what you're doing currently. Isabelle Stahrfisher 1:19 Okay, um, well, I am a recent 2020 graduate, I graduated with my degree in communication and my minor in creative writing. And I have a physical disability, mitochondrial disease. I'm a ambulatory wheelchair user and I have chronic illness and all that extra good stuff. So, in college, I focused a lot of my research in my writing about people with disabilities, and I'm about to start my graduate program with a focus in telling people disability stories. Wow, that's awesome. Betsy Furler 2:00 Well, I'm so excited you're here. And I would love for you to tell my audience about what you were like as a little girl. I think you were diagnosed fairly young in life. So you may not remember that, but kind of what were you like, what was school like in those early years for you? Isabelle Stahrfisher 2:17 So when I was little, like you said, I was diagnosed really young, so I really don't remember the pre diagnosis period. But my kind of story is actually kind of weird because I was born really sick, which then helps me get a diagnosis, which then helped my siblings get a diagnosis, and then we all got treatment. We kind of stabilized. So yes, we had to do feeding pumps at night and we had to do some different treatments, but we're very active. I did competitive dance for several years. And we did bowling. We are homeschool to just try to limit interaction with others when it came to getting second stuff, but other than that, we lived pretty normal lives. And all three of us had it. So it didn't really feel any different to me. And so I just remember the first time I went to MBA camp, and that's kind of the first time I really started realizing that, like, yes, my whole family's weird, and this is kind of my normal, but also it's other people's normal. They have slightly different versions. And I remember being seven years old and my parents sitting down at the table at Camp like okay, this is how you say, mitochondrial myopathy, and I'm just struggling through that word. Um, but yeah, that was really the first time I was kind of realized, I guess that other people have disabilities that are similar but also not similar. And we all kind of experience it in different ways. And that was really exciting for me. Betsy Furler 4:04 Yeah campus so wonderful. Henry loved going to camp as well. He left the camp. And but it is amazing that a seven year old can even like know the word mitochondrial, because most adults don't even know that word. Isabelle Stahrfisher 4:21 So yeah. But my mom will talk about it. And I was generally just like decided the three of us also the oldest. So like, I had the responsibility of being the oldest and then I didn't have a lot of energy to do anything else. So we'll talk about stories, especially my sister was always getting into trouble and stuff. And I'm like, Well, where's my trouble stories and my mom's like, you're spending all your energy trying to make sure that your sister didn't kill herself doing something stupid. So, um, but yeah, that was kind of my childhood. And I really took to Reading and things that I could do on my downtime that preserved my energy for other things like dance that I really cared about. Betsy Furler 5:09 Well, and I think if I remember correctly, you had a lot of hospitalizations when you were super little, but then not so many. When you were probably the ages that you remember. Isabelle Stahrfisher 5:20 Yeah. I had a few hospitalizations, for surgeries. I remember the surgeries more than I remember being sick. And several ER visits. But I think in my memory, my siblings had more hospital visits for being sick and like being admitted, then I do in my, my memory period. Yeah, I know that several early on. Betsy Furler 5:45 So then when you once you graduated from high school, and as you said, you were homeschooled. And so when you went off to college, that was really your first time to be in a, I guess organized school in a traditional school environment. I guess I should call it Isabelle Stahrfisher 6:00 I'm kind of I did co ops. And so I had, I took classes at different places. And they were generally taught by college professors were also parents. So it was kind of like a school system. I went to university model school my senior year, and took a couple math classes. They're so similar. But yeah, college is the first time that I had, like, a strict system, which was really different. And then also being away from my family for the first time was really different. And then I had a whole bunch of health issues that first year that made it really difficult. And so that it's really interesting to me that like that first year, I think of this like the first year, or I'm trying to figure out independence, but it wasn't until I transferred back home because of my health issues, that I started learning what true independence was and that was when I was having to Be more dependent on my family than I ever wanted to be making my own decisions while at home. And I right now, even though my health issues continue to kind of get worse, I feel the most independent that I've ever done. I've got really strict boundaries for the most part with my family when they helped me and like, if I'm in my wheelchair, I need help being pushed like, you can't push in places that I don't want to go. That's not okay. And having those discussions about boundaries is something that I've learned is really important in maintaining my independence. Betsy Furler 7:37 Yeah, that is that's really important, especially with sibling relationships. That's a really, that's so important. So when did you did you have accommodations when you went off to college? Did they provide accommodations and what kind of accommodations Did you need academically or living accommodation, you know, accommodations to your living question. Isabelle Stahrfisher 8:01 So I didn't become a wheelchair user until 2017. So my first year, I got accommodations, but they were, I was allowed to use a computer for note taking. I think if I remember correctly, I had professors who wouldn't let me do that. And then I also was allowed. extended time, maybe I just know I had a whole list of accommodations. And then several professors who wouldn't give me the accommodations Unknown Speaker 8:33 as well. Isabelle Stahrfisher 8:34 Yeah, super frustrating I had, or at least not, it wasn't that they wouldn't give me the accommodations, they just would like, Okay, well, if you're going to use a computer, then you have to sit here and it has to be in the front of the room, or it has to be in the back of the room and it has to do this and you have to do that and I really don't trust you and I really don't trust that you're not going to be doing other things which is really frustrating. As I was trying to get all this stuff figured out so I'm trying to learn when and how I was going to take notes really difficult process and really frustrating because I didn't have the energy to fight them. And I didn't want to fight them I was this freshmen kid was like, I don't know how to fight my professor for accommodations when they're really not inclined to give it to me and the school didn't have the, the system to really fight for me either. So it was just a really frustrating process that I kind of learned how to accommodate for myself. Whenever Betsy Furler 9:41 that's when it's I think there is often a problem with accommodations is even if a school will say like, here's your list of accommodations frequently, it's too many. You know, like it's a bunch of accommodations that they just kind of generically Give to everyone with the similar disability. And then when professors put all sorts of criteria around your accommodations, it's kind of because it kind of defeats the purpose, you know, because then it makes it actually it's actually a, it impedes your ability to use your accommodations, if you know that they're putting all this stipulation around there. So that's something I worry about both in education and in the workforce, you know, in an employment setting, and when someone has accommodations, so would you I know you then transferred, so when you transferred back home, how was that different? Isabelle Stahrfisher 10:37 Um, well, it was different in a couple different ways. When I transferred back home, I actually ended up going to the school that my mom works at, and that kind of gave me the ability like if I was able to drive that my mom is able to drive me to school, but for the accommodation system, I really didn't have much luck. And the accommodations at my new school even though it was bigger and should have had more resources to help me, which actually has been a big conversation at the university recently about how poorly their accommodations go. And I had a lot of issues with my pediatric nurse who was in charge of getting all of the paperwork for the accommodations to my new school that she had sent to my previous school. And she would, she kept refusing to send it and it was really frustrating. And then the schools like, well, if you don't have paperwork, then I'm not really sure that you have to have these accommodations. And then when I became a wheelchair user, I was invited to go to a women's leadership retreat and when I signed up for the Women's Leadership Retreat, I literally had just gotten my wheelchair so I was like, He is a wheelchair user, I really want to go to this, just so you know, I'm a wheelchair user, so please, but you know, this retreats going to be accessible or not because I can't be on certain types of ground because my smart drive won't work on that. And I got an email from the accommodations department's just chewing me out for not saying that I have a wheelchair and I'm like, but I don't live on campus. And all the classrooms should be accessible. So what's the problem? I was so upset. So after that, I just kind of stopped talking to them. I was like, I'm just gonna deal with this one on one with my professors, which luckily I was able to do for the most part, it was just kind of talked to the professors about what I needed, and just kind of had to figure things out myself. Betsy Furler 12:56 Yeah, that's, I think that's what ends up happening to a lot of People as you know, when it becomes such a so difficult even to get the accommodations, and I know, with my son Henry, who has a similar, you know, kind of a similar story. Mm hmm. Unknown Speaker 13:14 A lot of his accommodations are Unknown Speaker 13:18 medical. So it's Betsy Furler 13:20 your extended time and it's like, oh, he has a seizure. Well, they would give him extra time anyway, right. Sometimes the paperwork doesn't if it's so hard to get it doesn't it's not helping. It's not worth it. What about where have you worked in the past? And what is it been like at work? Isabelle Stahrfisher 13:37 So I worked a couple different things. I did some student teaching for high school in a drama department, which really wasn't any different. I kind of worked under my mom. So she was able to give me all the accommodations like Oh, do you can't climb the stairs today? Well, everyone's moving outside, and so I didn't have to do that. But my first real job is actually at my university, I worked in the advancement office, which is just kind of looking up who's passed away. So we stopped some sending the mail. And that process was interesting. I remember going to the interview. And this was before I got my wheelchair and I'm just kind of using mobility devices on and off. And I was like, I'm not using a mobility device. I'm not giving them any reason not to hire me. I'm not going to talk about potentially missing work. And I was so thankful that when I got there, I actually found out that my boss has or had an autoimmune disease. I no longer work there, but she had an autoimmune disease. And then her boss actually was a wheelchair user. So when I became a wheelchair user, they were all very and I got my wheelchair. They were Very nice. They were very understanding. I was calling my boss and like, Hey, I'm having a flare up. I just can't make it to work today. And she was really accommodating, which was incredible. It was kind of one of the first times that I had ever experienced that, especially since when I've been doing research. And I've been listening to all of my friends on my Facebook groups, and we're struggling with jobs, not accommodating them or finding other reasons to hire them. And having this job that was just like, okay, you can't come in this week. That's fine. Thanks for letting me know. And just please take care of yourself. So you can come back when you can. And that was incredible. Betsy Furler 15:43 Yeah, like a dream come true. Isabelle Stahrfisher 15:46 Yeah. It was, honestly a terrible job like, paid really poorly. But the people were amazing, which is why I stayed there for so long. And then I moved over to the Writing Center as a tutor, which was a lot less Understanding was the only disabled person that I knew of there. And it was I was really nervous about ever calling in sick. So I tried to limit that as much as possible on the way I approached, it was very different. I'm like, okay, here's these, you know, when you're constantly sick, you pick trigger words like throwing up, fever, you know, something that makes people not want you there, instead of having a flare up. And it it's a whole different process. And I loved my job there it was, was one of those situations where the work was better, but that experience was a lot harder. And that I'm about to start my like real big kid job as a graduate teaching assistant. I'll be teaching the basic communication course. And we are Supposedly allowed. I'm not sure how this is going to work, but we're supposedly allowed not to attend or not to be face to face for our classes, maybe passively. And that's really, that's giving me more anxiety than anything else this summer is just thinking about what is going to happen at school, when I try to go back in like, what if I can't go back? Because that's really scary. And just because, you know, there's these things that people do. That kind of just puts you in a corner of like, Oh, you can't be in person in class, and they'll treat you different. They say they don't, but you feel it because they'll be short with you or they're like, well, there's no excuse for that behavior. There's no excuse and like, but if I was in class, I couldn't do that. And so I actually a friend of mine, who's also has a disability, who's in the graduate program who texted me And she's like, So technically, we have the right to not come to the face to face class and just zoom in. Do you think that that's going to be okay? And I was like, honestly, I don't think I don't think it's going to be any different than it was before. If you don't show up to class in the face to face, if that's what everyone's doing, then people are going to, professors are not going to understand they're going to be upset because they don't like the accommodations anyway, so, and that depends on professor, but for the most part, especially people who aren't willing to kind of think about their initial reaction. That's pretty much what we face which is really disheartening. But I like to think of it as the idea that, like, I have a friend who also has a disability and the graduate program and we're both intending to go into research. We're both intending to be provided. So that once we can get past this we can then become professors are more understanding. Betsy Furler 19:05 Yeah, yeah. And chain kind of change the system. Wait, wait, how has the COVID stay at home order affected you? Isabelle Stahrfisher 19:14 Um, at first I was kind of laughing at it because I'm like, oh I don't go anywhere anyway because I just too tired to go out or and you know, I'm chronically ill introvert I don't need to go out in the world but it's I go back and forth on like how I personally reacting. I've helped more issues with how the world is reacting especially since I live in DFW and Dallas is gotten really bad and I've got all these people on Facebook who are just basically saying people who died from COVID are pretty much going to die if they got a cold anyway so they don't really matter. And I'm like, I've had friends and family pass away from The virus and it's real scary thing. I have friends. It's actually just talking to them yesterday about when are we going to choose to go to the ER or not? Because I'm like, is this pain? It's unimaginable pain, but is it worth putting ourselves at risk? To COVID?...
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033 - DisabilityIN Advocating For Others and Yourself with Becky Kekula Part 2
08/10/2020
033 - DisabilityIN Advocating For Others and Yourself with Becky Kekula Part 2
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Thirty Three - Becky Kekula - DisabilityIN/Advocating for Others and Yourself Part Two In this episode, I interview Becky Kekula of DisabilityIN. On the podcast, Becky continues talking life as a Little Person. We discuss her transition from a career in the film/tv industry into her work at DisabilityIN and the importance of advocacy. To connect with Becky, please follow her on LinkedIn (Becky Kekula) and visit her website at . Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcasts. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Unknown Speaker 0:33 Hi, everybody, welcome back to for all abilities the podcast. Today we're going to have the second part of my interview with Becky Kekla. Ireally hope I'm pronouncing her name right. That's so hard for me. Her main name is current so you may know her as Becky Curran. She currently works for disability in but she has has had such an amazing Betsy Furler 0:59 roller coaster career and just twists and turns, and she's a little person. And when we last left off, if you didn't listen to the other episode, you really should go back and listen to that. But when we left off and the first episode with her, she was still in college, she was about to graduate and she had gotten this awesome opportunity to be a stand in for an actor in a film that was being filmed in her college town. And unfortunately, the taping the filming of it conflicted with her college schedule, so she had to turn down that great opportunity, but it has led her to so many more interesting things. So please listen to Becky and I talking about her career and her life and how she has become such an advocate for people with all types of disabilities. Becky Kekula 1:55 And then after the summer, Unknown Speaker 1:57 I Becky Kekula 2:00 While in college I haven't really mentioned it yet, I decided that I wanted to learn more about being a part of the little people community. It was up until college that I really didn't have any other friends who were little people other than maybe some people we would see at the doctor every year. It wasn't very often where we'd see the same people every year. But if we got along with them, maybe we'd stay in touch as pen pals. But I was not really close to the community. And I think once my friends in high school started dating, the later years after my back surgery, and even in college, watching a lot of people dating and not really finding my place of where I fit in in those scenarios. I was convinced to go to a little people convention that was happening in the Boston area in 2003. And I ended up meeting friends from all over the country and continue to meet people from All over the world. I just like in any environment, you filter through those who you have similar values to and then there could be some that you have nothing in common with. But I had over the years while I was in college, gotten very close to a tight knit group of people who lived in Southern California. And I thought, Okay, this ties in nicely to my desire to work in the film industry. So while I was finishing the casting opportunity for the film underdog, I was networking out in out in Los Angeles, just remotely trying to figure out how to get myself out there, where I could really be in the deep parts of the industry. And one of my friends, he had a talent manager, he was an actor. He asked me if I wanted to come work with her and I thought, great, I'll go give it a try. Let's Let's do this. I learned about casting this summer. Now. When about talent management. And she also happens to be another little person. And I got out to LA, my parents, they wanted to support me as best they could. They made sure that before I moved to Los Angeles, I had a job and a place to live set up, because they weren't going to support me if I just was going out there without an agenda. So we have the job. I stayed with friends for a while, thought everything was set up. And the minute I got to LA, I found out that that job opportunity was not there. Wow, that I was going to have to start the search. on my own. I luckily had, I had already done some networking. I was networking with people who were alumni of Providence college who lives out in Los Angeles, and just anyone who lived out there and even had a connection to marketing in general, even if it wasn't film industry related. So I To take a bunch of coffee meetings, I ended up picking up a Hollywood creative directory where they had names and addresses of places. And I just started sending out resumes like crazy. I sent out 1000 resumes, and then went on 100 interviews, sometimes up to four interviews a day. And back to that constructive feedback piece. I wish if I went back to that time in my life, that people were more willing to tell me if I was making mistakes in the way that I interviewed. Or, of course, after four interviews a day I had to be exhausted by that fourth interview. And it just felt like kind of going through the motions without really getting any feedback. Other than we're going to hire internally, we're going into a different direction with this position. There was nothing ever of like you want to do this differently next time. So after about four months, I decided to go with some tech placement agencies, so I could have an honest conversation with these recruiters. And then they could pitch me to just go show up at a job. And that ultimately ended up being the best strategy because people couldn't tell me that I can't show up for the job that I'm told to show up for. Because the recruiter would be able to stand up for me and say, You have no real reason to tell them to go home. Betsy Furler 6:27 Right, right. Wow. It was a long process and you had so much work experience before you even graduated from Becky Kekula 6:37 Glee that's the thing I had to at least been qualified. I wasn't applying for like high level jobs. This these were very much entry level. You must have a few internship experiences under your belt, not anything that was like, way above like I was expecting this huge position. Unknown Speaker 6:56 Right? Right. Betsy Furler 6:59 So So what did you do after that? And then how did you finally get to disability em? Becky Kekula 7:08 So, so the reason why I do the work that I do now is because I don't want people to go through what I went through. Unknown Speaker 7:15 I, Becky Kekula 7:16 after about three temporary job assignments, I was at the Hallmark Channel for about a month, I worked at this place called trailer park where they make trailers for movies. for about three days, it was around the holiday season. So it wasn't really a specific job other than a gifting because everyone loves giving gifts to all their clients for the holidays. And at that, so this was the end of 2006. And I still didn't have anything secured and it was the middle of January that I finally showed up for my first day at Creative Artists Agency, a talent agency where I ended up working for five years, but it took seven months for me to become a full time employee I was on a temporary employee Up until those seven months and then finally felt like I made my mark to at least have my foot in the door out. After having to say okay, I need benefits like what's happening I'm showing up to work every day it was still a full time opportunity 97 five days a week, but it took a lot of proven myself to get that permanent position. And most assistant stay at an agency for about a year. They don't want to be an agent, they move on. But I just was holding on really tight to that employment opportunity for five years because I didn't know how hard it was going to be to find that next opportunity. And I was in the I started in that entertainment marketing department and then moved over the comedy touring department. And it was only because the marketing department was shifting, and I was kind of at risk if I chose to stay there, just because of purely numbers. It was just people were being moved around. So one of my bosses I had worked for two people. Once I became permanent, I was working for two people. And he brought me to the music department. And then I found out about the comedy department. And it reminded me of the work I did at allied where I went to the movie screenings and filled out what people were reacting to. I had the opportunity to go to comedy clubs, like sometimes I would go to four shows a night, where I would write notes. And these were shows that the agents couldn't get to. But they would be able to gather these notes and decide if they wanted to represent any of the talent that they haven't seen yet, so that they could ask me follow up questions. If there were people I thought were really talented. And once a position became available in that department, I was up for it since I'd been working really hard to contribute up until that point. And while I was in that department, I I enjoyed it. It was fun. To get gain an eye for talent, but I think I just decided after I got to that almost fifth year that being an agent wasn't really the lifestyle I wanted to have, even though it's very lucrative careers. It's very grueling. And I just didn't see myself in that long term career path. So I did start getting the attention of people who worked at the agency, and they asked me what it was I was passionate about. And that was a point where I felt like I could finally say that I was passionate about changing what we see in the media because that affects how people like me are treated in society. And took up until then, for me to be vocal about it because I wanted to be able to prove myself as a hard worker first. And since they started asking, I was able to put together a panel discussion of people with disabilities in front of and behind the scenes in the entertainment industry. I was able to use the theater at the industry. We're at the agency where about 160 people showed up to watch this panel discussion. So it's content people are craving. And it was really talking about the challenges on how we can make more opportunities for people with disabilities, how we can make sure there are more authentic portrayals versus people playing disability, even if it's not their lived experience. And yes, and Betsy Furler 11:25 I think that's so important, too. And I think it's so important that if, you know, if they do have to use an actor that doesn't have the disability, they're portraying that they are so careful about how that is that about the accuracy of it and the respectfulness of it? I'm super passionate about it as well, and that they try to cast roles with people with disabilities. Becky Kekula 11:51 Yes, so that's the thing. I think even when we talk about inclusion in corporate America, inclusion in the media, make sure that you're at least finding people who fit the description or have the qualifications, and then have them still do the work and interview or audition. And at the end of the day, it's the best person for the job. But if you're not seeking out those people who can do very well, and match that description, you're not doing your due diligence. Unknown Speaker 12:19 Right, right. Becky Kekula 12:22 So I ended so just kind of fast forward I, through going to different comedy shows, I was recruited to work at CBS television studios and the casting department. And I was there for about a year and then I still just kind of learned about apps. After starting to get really passionate about disability representation and media, I learned that there's still a long way to go. A lot of times, casting directors are going so much of what the description says on a writer's notes. They're not willing to have those conversations about what if we cast someone who's a little different than what you described in your writing. And they're just not enough creativity of thought it's pretty much what you see in the description. Unless it specifically says disability, they're not going to think outside the box, at least at that point in time. I think there has been some progress made with the casting society really trying to do their research and make sure that doesn't continue to happen. But that was happening. I learned about casting from a studio perspective versus working on the set of a movie in casting earlier on. And I thought, okay, I love this. It's great that it influences a lot of people, but they're moving too slow. We need to find a way to get more people represented faster. And while I was kind of deciding after that year that that path wasn't for me either. I found out that my friend to was the one who invited me to come out to LA to work for his man. adjure who then continued to be one of my roommates? He was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease, ALS, so he had to go back home to Georgia. And I thought, Okay, what am I going to do anyways? I'm not really happy in my job. And I don't really know who I'd want as another roommate in Los Angeles is not cheap to live in, alone. And I thought, all right, even though it took me a really long time to get to where I am here, I think I need to go home and refresh. It was really hard to make that decision especially after the hundred interviews and really trying hard to get that first job. But I needed to just figure out how I could make change faster. From a personal influence level, when Yeah, and it was hard deciding Okay, cuz then I didn't mean I was gonna have to start the job search process again eventually, but I had the support To move home with my parents still kind of struggled with the fact that I was an adult with a disability living at home after being independent for six and a half years out in LA. But I needed to kind of refresh and my sister asked me, she's a creative writing teacher was at the time in middle school. She asked me if I could come meet her students. And then I thought, you know what, I'm just gonna start telling my story. And I wondered if people wanted to hear it, because I feel like you have to get to a certain level in your career, and then people may want to hear you speak. But then I was surprised. These students just wanted to learn all about me, because my sister had been talking about me for so many years. Uh huh. So I took that opportunity as Okay, I can do this. So I started reaching out to rotary clubs and in college I had started a Toastmasters club and got very involved in Toastmasters even after college, trying to gain more public speaking skills. and gotten involved with National Speakers Association. So I could start having a structure to my storytelling. And I just tried to reach out to as many places as possible, didn't worry about whether they were paid or not. And then it was about six months in. In March 2013, I had reached out to this organization called understanding disabilities and their speaker had dropped out and they said, What's your rate and I had to make up a rate and there was my first paid speech. Unknown Speaker 16:30 Wow. Becky Kekula 16:32 And so what I ended up doing during that period of time is I did go to a little people parents meeting so little people organization has regional events throughout the year in the 12 regions of the country. And then they have an annual conference every summer in July, where people come together, from all over the country and world. And in the parents meetings. A lot of these parents. Most of them are average height parents to children. In mature prism, they were talking about the struggles that their children were having transitioning from elementary to middle school or middle school or high school, when they're going to see a whole new environment that may be likely to make fun of them. I thought, Okay, let me talk to the administrators. If, if we make the connection, I'll talk to the administrators, and then it'll be a two pronged approach. I'll talk to the administrators about the accommodations I had. I can't speak to the personal experience of your child, but I can at least set a baseline. And then I'll go in and speak to the whole student body so they can ask me the hard questions versus your child who's transitioning next year and they haven't a lot going on and they don't need to have to answer the questions that are unnecessary. So give them that exposure just like that girl had and had been doing at Providence College despite by going to school there. Right, right. And it ended up being a great way to connect with families within the community and help with those transitions, and then I just kept trying to figure out where how I could get to the older groups because they need just as much education. And well, I was exploring figuring out what to do next. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people know this, just as a speaker on your own, trying to make it and build a career of it takes a very long time. And very hard. You have to have multiple avenues, multiple revenue sources. I ended up being asked to speak in Kenya. So I went and spoke to a little people organization in Kenya. Fortunately, the expenses were paid for. But it was a wonderful experience. But it was after that, that I was like, Alright, I got to figure out like, how do I get out of this house and figure out what's the next chapter for me? And I was able to be very vocal. Okay, I want to be a speaker and will continue to be a speaker. You're on the side, but I need another source of income. I was networking with someone who I met at the panel event I hosted at the agency. And he asked me if I would come work for him in New York at the actors union in the diversity department. And it was nice because it was still being able to use that experience I had from the talent agency in casting. And he said, I totally understand that you do public speaking as well. Happy to support you on that journey too. And it was a nice marriage between speaking and continuing to advocate for underrepresented groups in the entertainment news media. And moving to New York City. from Boston, there were just a lot more opportunities when it came to networking. So I was there for three and a half years and then I started to learn that the entertainment industry still has a long way to go. They're very focused on box office numbers and not wanting to take the risks that I feel...
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032 - DisabilityIN Advocating For Others and Yourself with Becky Kekula Part 1
08/03/2020
032 - DisabilityIN Advocating For Others and Yourself with Becky Kekula Part 1
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Thirty Two - Becky Kekula - DisabilityIN/Advocating for Others and Yourself Part One In this episode, I interview Becky Kekula of DisabilityIN. On the podcast, Becky talks about her early years as a Little Person and her education and career were affected. We discuss her early career in the film/tv industry and the importance of advocacy. To connect with Becky, please follow her on LinkedIn (Becky Kekula) and visit her website at . Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast, and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody, welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. And I'm so excited that you're here along with my special guest, Becky kulula, which I hope I said that correctly. Becky is was introduced to me by a friend and the the diversity and inclusion space. And I'm so excited to have you here. So Becky, why don't you make the Yeah, Tommy if I mispronounced your name and then introduce yourself to my audience. Becky Kekula 1:04 My last name is Kekula. I was recently married within the past year. And my former last name is Curran. And one of the reasons I bring that up is because I started my speaking career under Becky Curran and just recently added the kukula. So no worries on that piece. And I just wanted to say that I'm excited to be here, I identify as a person with dwarfism, person with a physical difference, okay to call me a little person, a Gore. also identify as being someone who's proud to be part of the disability community. And in my current role, I work as the director of the disability Quality Index at disability in a nonprofit that helps business advanced disability inclusion. We're all on a mission to reduce the unemployment rate. of people with disabilities in this country and in the world in order to make people more people feel empowered and independent, and happy to have a place in this world when it comes to employment. Betsy Furler 2:14 Awesome. And normally I interview people with neuro diversity, which you don't fit into that category. But when I met you and talk to you, I thought you would be really interesting to have on the podcast because the of the career path that you've kind of been on. And but let's start with what were you like as a little girl growing up going to school? Normally people talk about their diagnosis, but I guess you can talk about that, too. You. You may not have memory of that, but I'm sure you know, you've heard the story. Becky Kekula 2:45 Yes, definitely. So 80% of people with dwarfism are born to appetite parents and that includes myself. When I was born in 1984. My parents had no clue what it meant to have a child dwarfism. And the only reason they were actually able to find out that I had dwarfism was because there was someone in the delivery room a medical professional, who had seen another person with dwarfism, more specifically 100 plastic dwarfism, which is the type of dwarfism that I have being born in that hospital. It's very common for a lot of people with dwarfism, since they're over 400 types of dwarfism to not even have a diagnosis when they leave the hospital after they're born. So they were fortunate to have that scenario where they could at least identify what my condition was. But they also found out that it was very possible I wouldn't make it through my first night that I was having breathing difficulties related to sleep apnea, which is common among people with dwarfism. And there were some issues that maybe they thought I had that didn't even seem related to dwarfism, but here I am. 36 years. Later still alive. And that was just the beginning of their journey really not knowing what that meant. And I know you mentioned how you do work to advocate and speak on behalf of the neuro diverse community. And although I don't identify as such, people often get people with dwarfism mistaken with certain communities because of our height. They assume as adults, we still should be talked to as children. And it's really just lack of the unknown lack of previous exposure, and figuring out where to meet us. So a few days after I was born, my parents were released from the hospital, but they knew that they had a long journey ahead of them, and it was recommended to them to go meet with the geneticists, and they made an appointment and they got to the office where the geneticists worked, and they met with the receptionist and asked for directions on how to get to the gym. This office, and the receptionist immediately told them to follow the signs that say birth defects, and then go into the elevator that says birth defect floor, and then follow the hallway to see another sign that says birth defects. And then the genetic counselor will be waiting for them there. And that was something that really didn't settle well with my parents. So they decided that maybe it was time to write a letter to the hospital and let them know that there are a lot of new families who have found out that their child has some sort of difference. And it is not really fair for them to be told that their child has birth defects when they're learning to figure out how to find beauty within the difference that their child may have. Unfortunately, that hospital did change the signs to say genetics, and it matched exactly what the genetic counselor did work in genetics. And that was kind of just a testament of how I was was raised and how if they saw something that seemed off, they were going to question it and challenge societal views, and making sure that they could find a way to help me grow and thrive in this life that wasn't necessarily made for someone of my stepdaughter. Betsy Furler 6:20 Yeah. Hi, I relate to that story so well, because my son, my 22 year old son, who we've just recently found out has a neuro autoimmune disorder, but he's 22 years of not knowing. But how his life started was, when I was six weeks pregnant. I knew I was pregnant because I'd already taken a million pregnancy test. I went to my ob and he said, I don't know why you women think you're pregnant when you're not hot. And I learned to start fighting for his life at that point. And I think parents who start on that road of advocacy really early for their And how that, that idea of I don't want my child just to survive. I want them to thrive and be the best that they can be. I, you know, I just keep hearing this, this refrain over and over and over again as I interview people. So I'm so glad you had those parents. Becky Kekula 7:18 Exactly. And really that's what I've tried to dedicate my life to do is advocate on behalf of those potential new parents, the next generation of new parents as they find out any type of difference their newborn child may have. I would love to get to a day where people are equipped with the tools and resilience and confidence to raise their child no matter the difference. I recently spoke at a conference and someone was sharing this book about children being born with Down syndrome and it was a book Had letters from all of these people with living with down syndrome as adults, writing congratulations instead of I'm sorry, because people try to say I'm sorry. Like, we've got nothing better to say to you, and we don't know how to help you. Good luck, versus congratulations. This is what your child can accomplish and still has the potential for. Unknown Speaker 8:26 Oh, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah. But the perspective is, it makes all the difference, doesn't it? Becky Kekula 8:32 Yeah. So my parents really just didn't have a ton of resources. Even my dad's brother worked in the medical field, and all he could offer was a brochure that he found once on dwarfism. And it took about six months for my parents to find a specialist in Baltimore, Maryland. I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts, and they had to find a doctor eight hours away, who was hosting people with dwarfism who weren't current patience for a sleep study. It was a research project they were doing. And in order to get an appointment with him, we have to sign up for the sleep study. And we got to his office. And my parents immediately, just like showed how panicked and nervous they were, but also kind of about to feel relieved because they found the answers to what they were praying for just someone who was an expert in this area. And he had a doctor had a waiting room full of people. And he ended up calling my parents and even though these people had been waiting for hours for their appointments, he just saw their ghostly looks on their faces and said, basically, just lay it out there. What are your concerns? Let me help answer the questions you may have. And that kind of led to me being able to be patient of his and we were okay with waiting eight hours for those annual appointments. Even If we arrived for the original time, because we knew that he helped us in a very important moment when I was six months old. Betsy Furler 10:09 So what was it like when you were in preschool? And then elementary school? What were those years? Like? I think Becky Kekula 10:16 one of the greatest things my parents tried to do is help me fit in seamlessly with our community. And one of the ways they did that was they worked closely with the family friend, who I think we may have met just while we were going to preschool and preschools pretty early on. So I was still around the height of most kids in my preschool. So a lot of questions didn't start till people started growing taller than me in my age range. And there was a person in my preschool class who my parents worked with her parents to have her be in my class all the way up until seventh grade when we were separated by alphabetical order because I was C and she was w four last names. But still, that was a good chunk of my early childhood, where I had at least one friend in my class who could protect me from any potential beliefs in the community. And really, I don't remember many times being made fun of and it could have been, I do have narrow ear canals. So I have a little bit of hearing loss in my right ear. So it's possible that maybe I didn't hear certain things, but other things, I really think that she was able to stick up for me without me even knowing and it just kind of felt seamless, being a part of community. And then my mom was actually a special education teacher in middle school. So when I got to middle school in fifth grade, she was already a part of that community within that school and well respected. She was never one of my teachers, but at least I was kind of in that environment that people knew and respected her and I think that really helped me feel like that middle school. Those middle school years were just a seamless and then junior high in high school. I did have some medical procedures growing up. And the biggest procedure that affected my older high school years, was losing my ability to walk and I had to miss 29 days of school in 10th grade. And oh, wow, the community was super supportive during that time. Unfortunately, I did fall back in classes, I was in all honors classes, one of my biggest fears was falling behind. And I decided to still stay with my grade. But I had to work extra hard to try to keep up and make up for those 29 days of school, and everyone was super supportive. I think one of the reasons I needed to stay dedicated to staying with my class was that doctor we had gone to at six months and beyond. He mentioned to my parents try your best to keep her in the same school. system with the same people. And I think it even applies to try to stay with your grade because you know those people the most from early on. And that's one of the decisions I could have taken a year off not feel as rushed to finish my junior and senior year. But it was equally as important for me to stay with those people who knew me and grew up with me. Yeah, I Betsy Furler 13:24 think that's really, really important. I know I say to parents that all the time really, no matter what, you know, your child has that could be a potential struggle. My son's issues are mainly medical. And he was also with the same kids from kindergarten or from first grade through eighth grade and it made a huge difference. And one of the girls he was with all those years, they ended up going to college together and they lived in the same dorm and it was so wonderful. You know, that she kind of like was kind of looked out for him. For me, so I think it's really important to stay with your peers and when you can. Becky Kekula 14:07 Absolutely. And a lot of what I've done now, as we get to that point in talking about kind of the speaking that I do advocating on behalf of the community, I go into schools where sometimes there isn't that choice A family has to move to a different community, and try to try to help make that transition a little easier for those kids who are also sometimes it's five elementary schools coming together for middle school and if you don't already know someone at the middle school like me being fortunate to have my mom there. It's going to be a scary place because we'll only know a fifth of the people. Betsy Furler 14:50 Right, right. That's very limited. So what did you do after high school or and also in high school, were you in any clubs or anything like that? Becky Kekula 15:00 My mom was I was very good at getting us active in Student Council because she was in charge of it in the middle school and then I just continued on with it in the older years, and then I did speech and debate but it was the speech side it was forensics, where you compete based on how well you can present materials. So I focused on children's books, those competitions and how you can read children's books and really learn some of the presentation skills that way. I took some public speaking classes and photography while in high school, and then I was involved with the high school swim team and sailing team. Sailing was like a, it was a club that was newer there were not as many participants but my my dad actually made the decision to help me get that started so I could have a high school sport to participate in after my bachelor's surgery I had been on the swim team, but it was harder for me to participate as actively as I wanted to after that. Betsy Furler 16:09 Yeah, that's, that's wonderful. So what did you do after high school? I ended Becky Kekula 16:14 up applying to nine colleges. And I ended up choosing Providence College. Because when I was in the cafeteria, while going on a tour, there was a little person who's already attending school there. And I was able to see someone like me in that environment, even though it's not a very diverse school. It's predominantly Irish Catholic, Unknown Speaker 16:38 is at a small school. Becky Kekula 16:39 It had about 4000 people, so about 1000 each grade. Uh huh. But I knew that since most environments, there are only 30,000 little people living in the United States, and 180,000 or so in the world. Most environments have not met a little person. So it really does matter. If someone has touched that community in one way or another, so as soon as she was there, it helped set up the tone that whether or not she was having a great time. And it seemed like she was having a great time. I knew that people would be a little bit more respectful because they had seen her before seeing me. Betsy Furler 17:20 Right, you kind of had a, the door was opened a bit a little bit. Becky Kekula 17:24 Right. And, and that didn't make it extremely easy. That was just kind of the reason why I chose to go there. And it almost felt like applying to jobs, deciding whether or not you're going to disclose your difference. This was back in 2002. So when they were doing the roommate selections, I didn't feel like I needed to disclose that I was a little person and I don't, I don't really think Facebook was fully available by then or any of the social media. So it was pretty much Just what you have on your roommate profile, and I had two roommates that I was matched up with, and one I got along really well with on the phone. And once we arrived at school, she was not too happy about me not disclosing because she just didn't know what to expect. And it was a very challenging six months we still we talked about it to this day. We we've been in touch and we just talked about how it was a learning experience. But in the moment of it, it was very hard not knowing how to fix apologizing or like being forgiven for just being who you are. Unknown Speaker 18:42 Right. roommate situations are so touchy anyway. Becky Kekula 18:46 Right and that and I had a few days before we moved into school I was involved with this program called urban action. And it was like Habitat for Humanity where we went and cleaned up a farm, but it was a way to go to college a few days early. And meet the amount of people that you are going to be taking classes with. So it was about 150 of the people who were going to be in my class that I could get to know ahead of time. So I was already, like prepared them going above and beyond getting involved before even moving into college. So this will give me a head start. But I think it just kind of comes with the journey, the roadblocks that come with it. And I was fortunate during that program to meet someone who is my best friend to this day. And after that freshman year, she and I were roommates from sophomore to senior year and it really made a huge difference. Just having someone who, I didn't have to apologize for being myself too. And someone who gives me a lot of constructive feedback. That's something I asked for a lot. And I'm sure that you kind of witness that a little bit within the community that you advocate on behalf of wherever People just want to say they're doing a great job, and don't really know how they can improve. And I really appreciate when people tell me if I'm doing something wrong, so I can learn how to do it better in the future. And she's one of those people always been in my life willing to give that feedback, honestly and...
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031 - Organizing with ADHD and Lisa Woodruff Part 2
07/27/2020
031 - Organizing with ADHD and Lisa Woodruff Part 2
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Thirty One - Lisa Woodruff - Organizing and ADHD Part Part In this episode, I continue my interview with Lisa Woodruff of Organize365. On the podcast, Lisa talks about her early years with dyslexia and her incredible career helping people get organized. We discuss her books on organizing and ADHD and her new book on mastery paper organization We also talk about the impact that her home organization program had made on my home and life! To connect with Lisa and to find out all about her incredible home organization program and products go to . Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. episodes, because I knew we could talk a lot and she has so many wonderful stories and things for us all to learn. So Lisa, why don't you introduce yourself to my audience again? Lisa Woodruff 1:14 Sure. I'm Lisa Woodruff. I am the founder and creator of organized 365 out of Cincinnati, Ohio. We help women get their home and paper organized in one year with functional systems that work. I have authored a couple of books, one being how ADHD affects home organization. And my next book will be out August 4, called the paper solution. Betsy Furler 1:35 Awesome. So we left off last time after you told my favorite story about your kitchen counters and how not being able to put your groceries on your kitchen counters ultimately led to the organization and 365 business organized 365 sorry, and business and so I wanted to start off this episode. talking a little bit about how you think the COVID stay at home safe at home and order mandate. You know, suggestion if you're in Texas Lisa Woodruff 2:14 Anyway, let's say you're in. Betsy Furler 2:16 Yes. And how that has affected people with especially people with ADHD but all different types of neuro diversity as far as home organization, whatever you want to talk about about it. Lisa Woodruff 2:29 Yeah, you know, it's so interesting. I, when we first got the stay at home order, I'm in the state of Ohio. So we were one of the very first states to shut down. Our governor was very proactive, and we were very positive about that in the beginning, but as Americans, you know, like our independence over time, we weren't as excited about it. I initially thought Yay, everybody's getting sent home. Yay. This is my super bowl like put me in coach. Everybody can get organized and I totally did not anticipate how mentally exhausted It would be for us to lose all of our habits, our structures, our routines, and to be constantly mentally trying to reorient our selves to what the new normal is. I mean, like, of all the words that we have in 2020, like new normal, he thought that was going to be for the stay at home order, and then you thought that was going to be for working from home, and then you thought it was going to be for racism, and then you thought it was going to be for politics. And it just seems like we're getting whiplash. Every other week. There's a new normal every single week. And as we've opened up, all these different ways of looking at everything that we took for granted or had routines and habits in place for almost all of our routines and habits are gone, almost all of them are gone. And if you don't realize that your life is a series of the habits that you have created over time, and if you didn't purposely create them, then they just happened like too much social media time or whatever too much Netflix time or if you purposely created them, even if you purposely created them with a morning routine and affirmations and going to the gym, a lot of those even positive routines that you had in place just got thrown out the window and taken away in the blink of an eye while you're trying to make sure you still have income coming in, and you'd have enough toilet paper and oh my gosh, now I can't grocery shop where I used to grocery shop. And my cousin was telling me, she's down in Cincinnati in the city. And when she would go to the store, they were only allowed to get to milk items. Like you could get milk and cheese but then you couldn't also get butter. So I was like, Are you serious? Like that didn't happen 20 miles north where I am in Cincinnati. And so it was just constant survival like we got thrown back to we need to have the basics. We need food, we need toilet paper, we need money we need we need rent and some of us are still in those basic areas. And I just want everyone to take a deep breath and recognize that this has not stopped like the amount of change that has come to your brain has not stopped And I have been more exhausted in the last three or four months than ever. Greg and I go to bed so early, and we sleep in and we take naps. And still we are just mentally exhausted. And I know that when you sleep, I don't know who said this. But I know it's true when you sleep. Your brain makes order of the day, like literally your little cells like detox inside of your brain when you're sleeping. And the file folders of all the paper of information, your brain gets put in little file folders in your brain tries to organize what you've done during the day. And there's so much change and so little routine that your brains are just exhausted trying to figure out how to get money, get food. We don't have this. We always said, Oh, if I got sent home for an extended period of time, there are all these projects I would want to work on. I would say just a small percentage of us or even to that point yet. Betsy Furler 5:52 Yeah, it's been really interesting. I know I've been I found it very interesting on how I have I handled this it's been hard really, really hard. Being home with everybody in the family 100% Sure. And I like I said earlier I kind of are on the other episode. I have a tendency when I'm under stress either to get super disorganized, or like ridiculously over organized. And when this first happened, I did too. I did one of my crazy things when I get super stressed as I get, I start inventory things and I don't inventory at any other time. But I enjoyed all of our food. Like, member because remember back in March, when Ohio shut down, I was like, Oh, no, Texas is shutting down. I'm better get I better get it together. Remember, back then we didn't know we knew there was a toilet paper shortage already. We didn't know what the rights was going to be like, where are we even going to go the grocery store where they're going to close the grocery stores now. Right and I inventories I have this inventory I mean it's like seven pages of everything and what shelf it's on So, like Eric will say, you know, I don't think we have Italian dressing I'm like yes we do. It's on the second shelf from the top and the pantry. Lisa Woodruff 7:15 I did the same thing I went to the grocery store and everyone should know I don't cook like as soon as you listen to one episode of my podcast, you'll know that I don't cook. So I went to the store I bought beans and rice, like literally black beans and bags of rice. And not that I would even know how to cook this. And I said to myself, well this seems like a beans and rice moment I was ever gonna have beans or rice. This is when I would have it. Just so you know. My favorite restaurant called verse fast food never shut down. So I continue to drive there and get my onion rings. They were masks it was fine. And we continue to get takeout or Greg cooked and then the other ridiculous thing that I do every time something like this happens I did it when my dad died. I did it in 2008. As I like to think that I'm going to grow a vegetable garden, like I don't even cook but I think I'm going to grow a vegetable garden. This time instead of just starting a vegetable garden outside because it's March in Ohio, I bought one of those awesome hydroponic tower gardens like that you see at Epcot for $1,000. I made four salads I had $250 salads because like after I had like four salads I'm like I'm done with this and the whole thing died and whatever. But yeah, we just we go to this survival instinct, but yet we're not survivalists. So we do it in a weird way. Betsy Furler 8:30 What when, when Henry had his autoimmune encephalitis and it was really really severe. Um, and my audience on is Henry's been been medically fragile his whole life but the autoimmune encephalitis was like a whole new thing and very, like awful. And you know what I did? I inventoried all my clothes. I took photos of all of them. I remember that every I don't plan it planning. It's so it's just oh my goodness. I just want Lisa Woodruff 8:59 Can you can Troy What are you in control? Unknown Speaker 9:01 Oh, yeah. Betsy Furler 9:05 Yeah, so what are you in control of So, um, so I do think though, that having a system like organized 365 has helped me through this pandemic too, because I have had moments where I've decluttered and I've lost 20 pounds. Lisa Woodruff 9:22 I don't think I told you that I'm saying you look fabulous, Betsy. Congratulations. Betsy Furler 9:27 Thank you. So I've, I've had to spend I've gained it. No, just kidding. I have spent so much time outside because it's in the house. It's like where do you go? Well, it's safe to walk around outside. So anyway, I am so now I've gone through all my clothes again, because you know, none of them fit me anymore, which is a really fun problem to have. But I also started realizing that my structure like you were saying all our structures have changed so much. So my structure the whole way. I structured my De was totally blown up. And we all have a tendency to do is you know, then I end up wasting a lot of time because I'm not in my regular routine. And the other thing that I found that was very hard for me and I actually, I've never been diagnosed with ADHD or any of us. But I realized when I was stuck at a computer all day, every day and in one room and in my house instead of moving around the world, like I did before, I had a lot of trouble paying attention and attention. My attention was poor. And I started again, how do we get so antsy just sitting I ended up buying a standing desk also and that helps a little but, you know, really had to take breaks to like actually do physical exercise. And I also walk every day at lunch as well because I just like I feel that pent up energy that I never even recognized before. Me too. Yeah, it's, it's amazing how you know, just that change in structure can can just throw you for a loop. Unknown Speaker 11:16 Go ahead. Lisa Woodruff 11:16 Yeah, I used to be able to like, I'm one of those weird people because I do not have ADHD. I've been tested ever. It's like yesterday, I'm like, No, I don't I actually, I can literally sit at index from 8am to 8pm. And just get up for bathroom breaks and coffee and, you know, lunch, I can do that. And I can sustain my attention. During that time. I have worked over the last eight years to expand my focus. It used to be only until 11 and then 12, and then one and now I could do a full 12 hours. As soon as the pandemic hit, I was exhausted by 11am I couldn't make it past 11 so I was like, okay, and each week I just tried to get you know, another half hour and now I could do a full day again, but it took me all this time for months to get back to where my energy level was the way it used to be, my focus was the way it used to be. And still, it's not all the way there. I mean, I'm still going to bed at eight or nine o'clock at night. And we used to go to bed at 10 and 11 all the time. So our brains really have been affected. Like, this is such a huge change on so many levels that we just don't have the focus and the energy and the attention that we had before. Betsy Furler 12:24 Well, and I know now I get by 430 in the afternoon, I'm like done, like I and and I've never stopped working that early before. And you know, today I have a couple of calls. I have a call at five have a call at six I have a call at 730 and it's like, oh, Unknown Speaker 12:43 my nap Betsy Furler 12:44 challenge. Yeah. And because I you know, but it's not always a bad thing to because I think getting off the hamster wheel has really made me realize what I really want to be doing with my life and working till six every day in it. Lisa Woodruff 13:01 Yeah, but have you found what you want to replace it with that that's kind of my thing. It's almost like we all went off coffee simultaneously. So our productivity would like I didn't stop drinking coffee, but you know what I mean, like that extra jolt of productivity or packing more in. And then a lot of things got taken off of our list, like commuting or taking kids places like, but I don't. I'm not doing as much as I used to, but I'm more exhausted than I used to be. Although I haven't found like, Okay, and now I have time to take a college class or read a book or, like I haven't found that I filled in that time with anything that was always on my to do list. I'm just kind of in the messy middle. I think. Betsy Furler 13:40 I've been walking and that's what that's how I started running. And because I've walked so I mean, I'm walking like nine miles a day. And yeah, it's extreme. This is why so much weight. And I started I actually started running not because I necessarily wanted to run, but I started thinking, you know, I really like getting this much movement in. And when life goes back to whatever normal it is, again, I'm not gonna have enough time, like am I gonna have time to walk nine miles a really long time. So, so I was like, I need to pick up the pace. And so that meant learning to run. And so I started running and the other thing that we've been doing is we so you know, as you know, and I don't know if my listeners know this yet, but I am not a cook either. And one thing we've been doing is we totally aren't we source our food totally differently now. So we buy our meat from restaurants because here in Texas restaurants are allowed to sell uncooked food now. So we make all our meat from restaurants and then we get a farm box every week and produce and then we look at the produce and then I google because I'm really good at like figuring out recipe like what recipes we should make. I just I'm not good at the actual Making of the food but I can coordinate the effort. So I you know, Google, you know, spaghetti squash and chicken or whatever or yesterday it was eggplant and butternut squash what can we make with that? And I come up with recipes print them out for because he wants them printed and he has not paperless and yeah, he makes them but the so that has taken more time but then kind of like in the long run it's like you know, we used to go out to eat all the time. Yeah. And going out actually took so much more time than looking everything from scratch every meal from scratch, but we have like really shifted our time in that way. And then the other thing which is I don't know if it's good, bad or indifferent, but we just watch a movie every night together. Yeah to weave in. We never did that before. My husband does have ADHD and it doesn't really like movies like he really has never been interested in watching movies except for like, maybe once every couple of like, like a couple of times a month, we might do like a family movie night. But now every nights fam every night family dinner every night family movie night. Unknown Speaker 16:16 And so that's been fun. Lisa Woodruff 16:19 Yeah, Greg and I have always called our date night like from eight to 10. Like, we'll watch TV shows or movies or whatever. And that's something we have kept consistent. What I love about what you're sharing is for those of us who still have jobs, our work has not changed. And for those that don't have jobs, I mean, you're in the process of a job search or you're figuring out if you're going to take off some time or whatever. So the work bucket has stayed consistent through all of this the worry about it, the doing of it, the the taking care of the work, but the play in the social buckets got emptied out and aren't necessarily getting filled up. And so that's kind of what I've been talking through with my organize 365 it And since we focus on the home, is that, you know, school school still happened. It just happened at home. And it was messy for sure. for teachers, for parents, for students, for everyone. It was very discombobulated and hard, but school still happened. But kids social got taken away and kids play other than Xbox kind of gotten taken away. And so as we go through this global pandemic, which doesn't appear to be ending anytime soon, and we focus so much on our work, whether that's work or school, or volunteering, or however you spent the majority of your weekday, what you were doing, how do we replace our social and our play at home, in a positive way, and, and, and with that, like I like puzzles, some people like reading, your play, whatever it is you like to do for play. It's not just that I want time to do puzzles. We like novelty in our play. So you don't want to read the same book every single night. You want to have a variety of books, if you like puzzles, you like a variety of puzzles, you don't want to do the same puzzle over and over again. If you like cooking you, great a plant and squash so that's challenging. So I can, you know, have some creative outlet and my cooking and how do we focus on our social and our play while we are safe at home? Betsy Furler 18:16 Right? Yeah. And I and also our, you know, I was thinking the other day about my kind of my circle of people that I interact with. And my circle was huge before. It's still huge on a on a virtual basis, right. But the people that I saw in person every week was a really big, wide spread, very diverse group of people from different parts of my life and everything. And now my circle of people that I see in person is very, very small. And we have a neighbor, family that's a neighbor who we have quarantine with the whole time. So we have them and they have two little boys and then I have one of my college friends who's quarantined with her husband that I see periodically in person, the six feet apart, but you know, I have been to her in her home...
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030 - Organizing with ADHD and Lisa Woodruff Part 1
07/20/2020
030 - Organizing with ADHD and Lisa Woodruff Part 1
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Thirty - Lisa Woodruff - Organizing and ADHD Part One In this episode, I interview Lisa Woodruff of Organize365. On the podcast, Lisa talks about her early years with dyslexia and her incredible career helping people get organized. We discuss her books on organizing and ADHD and her new book on mastery paper organization We also talk about the impact that her home organization program had made on my home and life! To connect with Lisa and to find out all about her incredible home organization program and products go to . Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi everybody, this is Betsy Furler. Your host for all abilities podcast. Welcome back. And I have a seat I know I always say I have a special guest but today I have a super super super special guest. A really good friend of mine, Lisa Woodruff from organized 365 and I'm super excited that she is here to talk about ADHD and and what she does professionally which is Amazing. And I'm just thrilled that she's on my podcast. And she has a podcast of our own that I'm going to say a little bit about too after she introduces herself. So, Lisa, welcome to the for all abilities, the podcast. Lisa Woodruff 1:15 Se thank you so much You and I started working together years ago when you were in my organized 365 community audience and I was writing the book how ADHD affects home organization. And I asked you to write the agenda in the back, which ended up being like a third of the book about how different apps and accessibility can really help people with ADHD. So I love that you were part of that first book that I had coming out and then you are helping me with ideas for promoting my next book that is coming out August 4, called the paper solution that will be published by Putnam Random House. Betsy Furler 1:50 Yes, and I'm so excited about that book coming out and tell my listeners about your podcast really fast are your podcasts Lisa Woodruff 1:58 so organized recently 65 has been around for almost six years has almost 8 million downloads. And in that podcast, we really unpack the difference between decluttering your home getting your home organized, and how that leads to increased productivity and how the majority of the work that actually gets done and getting your home and your life organized starts with your mindset and your thoughts first. Betsy Furler 2:20 Yes, we both you and I definitely agree on mindset. Yeah, the things I've worked on mindset. And I have to tell my listeners, how we met because it's an unusual story. So well, kind of unusual, I guess. Um, I think it's unusual. So I had decided I was going to organize my house and I've always been fairly organized. But you know, as we all have things, you know, life happens and things get disorganized. So I've loved podcasts for years, and I decided to start listening to podcasts on organization on home organization. So I listened to a bunch of podcasts and I found yours and I loved it and after I've listened to To like 10 episodes in a row, I thought, I have to be friends with this woman, she, I got to meet her, I've got to meet her in person, she's got to be my friend. And so I continued listening and, you know, following your system and getting my house totally organized, which by the way, it's still organized because I still follow your system. And so if I need to touch up a little thing, it's like a 15 or 20 minute thing. It's not a days and days and weeks and weeks. So then fast forward, I don't know, maybe a year after that, or so. And you were writing your ADHD book and found out that I do, I'm an expert in the use of apps and people with all sorts of different disabilities. And so you called me and we started working on that together and then we ended up going to a conference and actually being roommates and within Think about six hours of snowing each other in part in person. I was at the time thinking about launching my other podcast, your app lady that I don't record anymore, but it's still available. And a lot of other people have told me I shouldn't record a pot do a podcast and you're like, Betsy, do the podcast, you can talk. You'll be fine. And you're totally right. podcasts are a piece of cake for me. So anyway, that's how we met and I'm so glad that I manifested our friendship. Lisa Woodruff 4:29 Yeah, you totally did. You totally did. And I love it. You're just such a creative person. You have so many ideas. You're always going a million miles an hour, as am I. And our conversations are so diverse and so eclectic. And we just get each other going off in so many different directions. It's so much fun. Betsy Furler 4:47 Wait, dad, and so I, I am so to my listeners. This is going to be a two part episode maybe three. And depending how long Lisa and I talk, we're talking. We're gonna talk way more than three 30 minutes for the podcast. So, um, okay, so back to the back to the purpose of the podcast and tell my listeners about what you were like as a little girl what your childhood was like. Lisa Woodruff 5:14 So I'm an extrovert, but I grew up kind of out in the country and there were 72 houses on the street and only two other families had children and they were boys, which was boring as a girl. And I had one younger sister and the reason I knew there were 72 houses was because I counted them. And I made a newsletter that I sent out to everyone in our neighborhood, and I also coordinated our neighborhood block party. So I was always very industrious. I'm a fourth generation female college graduate, all of my, the women on my mother's side of the family have all owned their own businesses. My great grandmother actually had four businesses in the 30s, which is amazing, like a floral shop and restaurant like, like big businesses, not just, you know, little businesses. And so I grew up with entrepreneurs. And as an extrovert without a lot of people to talk to I just basically talked to myself in my head and I created up all kinds of fantastic fun things to do. I created an invisible games for my sister and I were I named all of the different paths through our yard as if they were different streets in our city. And we would ride our bikes as if they were cars, and we used our baby dolls as if they were our children. And I called our bedrooms or mini apartments, and then we would meet at the cafe, which was that the kitchen and I was just coming up with all these unique ways for us to entertain ourselves. I think now as we're in the global pandemic, I often drawn those ideas to share with the kids that listen to the organized 365 podcast of ways to let your imagination you know, keep you company here in this safe at home environment during the pandemic were so much more creative than we realize we can be so that's the kind of child I was I was always creating new adventures and new things and I was able to play question At least even though as an extrovert, I was able to play quietly by rearranging my bedroom or reorganizing something somewhere else in the house or getting my sister to create an imaginary store with me. I did a lot of babysitting, and I would create imagination games with the kids that I babysat for. So, I was always busy doing something, but I would often clean up my mess is behind me. So it didn't seem that I was as scattered as maybe I was. Unknown Speaker 7:26 And how did you do in school? Lisa Woodruff 7:30 I did. Okay, I love learning. I still love learning. I was the one that always asked a question. If you're like, oh, if she would stop asking questions in class, that was me. I was always asking questions. I always wanted more knowledge. But I always had this floating. See, so my mom was a straight A student. She's a perfectionist, and I was not I always had a floating see and what that meant was, it was never in math, but it might be in English or history or science. And I would get a C on my report card and science and then I would try w hardest sciences and all sudden next semester, I would have seen history and then I tried doubly hard and history and then all of a sudden I'd have a C in some other class like I could never get all A's and B's, I always had this floating C. And it didn't really bother me because I'm not a perfectionist. And I knew I knew the information. But it really bothered my parents that my grade card did not reflect the intellect they thought that I had. And by my junior year in high school, I was taking a class. And I was raised Catholic. So I was in a Catholic High School. And I was taking a class and I read this whole thing about the conversation of bead and I read the whole entire thing, and I have a photographic memory. So I was taking the test. And I went up to the teacher, I said, I don't know what the answer to this question is, but it's on page four, line three, does that count? She goes, No, you have to actually know it. I was like, darn it. So then another class I about this conversation, a beat I go up and I said to the teacher, I said, You know, I understand they're having conversation in all but really, he's been converted to Catholicism. I don't know why they're not saying that she's like, read this word. And I'm like conversation. She said, read it again. I'm like, oh, converted. And that's when they took me to Sylvan learning centers. And they said, We think that Lisa has a learning disability. And they asked me a bunch of questions. I was a junior in high school. And they said, Well, I'll tell you what, if we run her through our battery of tests, she's going to come out just fine. But I'm going to give her this test that we would give her like on, you know, if you got through all these 10 levels, and we were trying to figure out what it is. So they gave me the test, and I failed it. And they said, she has dyslexia. They're like, 600 different kinds of dyslexia. They said, she has dyslexia, she has accommodated for it in multiple ways. It's not really worth doing anything about it right now. But that's why I could never get you know, all A's on my report card was because I understood the concepts. I understood what I was doing, but my spelling wasn't great. And so my reading comprehension was not always where it needed to be to get all A's and B's. Betsy Furler 9:58 Yeah, I kind of have a similar path. I've never been diagnosed with anything but my mom, even to this day will say hi, I think you just had to leave just have a touch of dyslexia. And I know that spell tech is now my friend or spell production and editors. My editors, yes, it was so helpful. And I was kind of the same way. I mean, I know my mentor in college said, you know, you're not really your grades aren't really reflecting your potential and then he did it but you're having a lot of fun. So there's a lot to be said. Like, Yes, there is. So how did it so you went off to college? Did you go right off to college after high school? Lisa Woodruff 10:42 Oh, yes. I mean, I you know, I came out of the womb with plans with five year 10 year 15 year goals like I had a planner before planners were cool, that's for sure. So I when I was in high school, I wanted to own my own business and be President of the United States and have four children and homeschool them all. I have done all those things, and I don't want to be president anymore. So three out of four isn't that only a two children, but they're the equivalent of four is often what I say. And I did end up homeschooling my daughter the last two years for last two years of high school. But I always knew I wanted to be a business owner. And my parents had enough money to send me to college. I went to Miami University in Ohio. And my dad had figured out it was going to cost about $80,000 to send me to college and 1990 to 1994. He was a salesman, he was a businessman. And he said, If you graduate in four years, I'll buy you a car because he knew a car was going to be $20,000. So same thing either go five years, or you get a car. So I got done in four years with two degrees. But he also sat me down at the age of 18. That summer, and he said I wanted to have a corporate daycare at that time. It was a new concept. And there were some corporate daycares in Akron, Ohio, and I knew one of the business owners that had started one and so I was intrigued with that. And my father said to me, you can go to college if you want or I will give you $80,000 And you can start, you know, your corporate daycare center, you could start your career and I was like, who jump right into entrepreneurship. To which my mother who had a four year college degree said absolutely not. She's going to college. So I went to Miami University and I really enjoyed it. I got a teacher degree and I was a teacher for a few years, but I think it was always evident from when I was a young child that I would eventually own my own business one day, it just took me a little bit longer to get there. Betsy Furler 12:26 But I think you're still a teacher even though you're not working in a school but you're everything you do professionally as all about teaching other people systems and and ways to go through them. And one of the reasons that I love your program so much, and your podcast is that you do so much and you move fast, but you have a really structured system behind it too. And I know that the way my mind works, because I can get Really distracted by all of my ideas that I have. And so a structured system while it's not kind of it's not my, it's not my go to, it's the thing that keeps me going, if that makes sense. So you like I'm running now, by the way, which I don't know if I've told you, but I'm a runner now, which is shocking. And, and I run every other day, and I run at the same time every day. And I, you know, I have this plan and structure of how I'm moving forward with my running. And if I didn't have that, if I just was like, I'm just gonna run when I feel like it. I would probably run like five times a day for the first two weeks, and then I would never run again. So yeah, the way you teach organization is so helpful. And I think for anybody with any kind of neuro diversity, it is really helpful to have a plan and a structure. Lisa Woodruff 13:55 Yeah, I 100% agree. My last year's actual teaching right before I start Organized 365 I went back to teaching for 18 months, and I taught Montessori middle school math and science. And I loved it. loved, loved, loved it. And what I loved about Montessori education was all of the focus was on learning. And there was structure in place, you know, we had the structure of the day, and we had the structure about how many minutes you had to do in each assignment. But there was so much freedom and how and how you got to learn the different subjects. And so my goal was to teach everyone algebra, and if you know anything about school, like when you ask kids, what's your least favorite subject more often than not, it's usually math, science, you know, that's not usually the favorite subject. So there were quite a few students in my class that were not really thrilled to be having their minutes with me. And I just took it as challenge great. I'm gonna make you love math as much as I love math. And I am going to teach you math in a way that you will understand it forever like I'm not as into the grade as I am to understanding the concept. So I could literally teach any algebra concept in eight or 10 different ways I would teach it with. In Montessori, we actually have three dimensional materials that will show you why a squared plus b squared equals c squared. It's fantastic for those that are visual learners, but other people are really just really good about learning formula. So we just learned the formulas. And being able to take the same concept and teach it in so many different modalities expands your thinking as a teacher, and that's what I do in organized 365. Like, I have this product called the sundae basket, which thousands of people are using and a psychologist went through and she analyzed the sundae basket and she said, the reason why it works for almost everyone is because you have all the different learning styles in there, you have all the different modalities you have, like any way that people would approach learning is inside of this one simple system because I kept refining and iterating the system so that it would work for all So that your learning style is baked into the system. And that's the fun challenge for me. How do I get you to love organizing as much as I do, so that you want to listen to the podcast and you want to organize more when before you thought, Oh, I'm not an organized person. I'm never going to learn to be organized. It's just a chore. It's a task that I want to check off and never have to do again. I had kids by the end of the year love math. They didn't love math before. And now I just do that with organizing. Betsy Furler 16:25 And back to school, and when you started working after school, how do you think your dyslexia affected you both in positive and negative ways? I think Lisa Woodruff 16:41 I tell you exactly when it was was my third year teaching, I had finally gotten a classroom of my own. And the only reason I got in that first year classroom class was because I had taught the extra half an hour or half day for kindergarteners the year before. And these are all children that were at risk for being on an IEP having some kind of Learning Disability behavioral disability in the future. And so they got an extra half day of kindergarten because our district did not have full day kindergarten. And so the administration said, we will give you a first year job, we'll give you a classroom, if you will take all of the disadvantaged children in your class together, instead of spreading them out amongst the other first grade classrooms so that you will loop with them so that the children when they come in fall, will at least have a relationship with you and your classroom style. And then you could pick up where you left off. And we want to see if this would work for these children. I thought, Yeah, great. I'm all in. So the school district I was in had a lot of free and reduced lunch and some of...
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029 - Moving from College to Employment with Autism and Bipolar with Michael
07/13/2020
029 - Moving from College to Employment with Autism and Bipolar with Michael
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Twenty Nine - Michael Newman - Moving from College to Employment with Autism and Bipolar Disorder. In this episode, I interview Michael Newman - college student . On the last podcast, I interviewed Michael’s mom, Kristine. She and I discuss Michael’s early years, his strengths and his college experience. On this episode, Michael and I discuss his view of his early years and his plan for employment. We also discuss the accommodations that may help him when he gets a job. To connect with Michael, please email him at . Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast, and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. Today we're talking with a special guest. We're talking with Michael and his mom. Christine was on the podcast last week talking about him and his brother. But I thought it would be really fun to talk to Michael himself and get his views on employment and school and his own neurodiversity. So Michael, welcome to for liabilities a podcast. Thank you for having me. Yes, thank you so much for being here and I would love for you just to introduce yourself really quickly to my listeners. Michael Newman 1:13 Okay. Um, my name is Michael Newman. I'm 23 years old, and I've been diagnosed with autistic tendencies and bipolar disorder. My bipolar starts showing up around second grade. My autistic tendencies didn't show up until much later than that. But due to the severity of bipolar I had I don't remember much from elementary school, there was a bunch of memory loss from that. So I'll just say what I can. Betsy Furler 1:50 Awesome. So and as you know, so to my listeners, Michael, this is a second time Michael has been nice enough to let me interview him because the first time I had some audio parts So we're having to do a repeat. And so Michael, I'm so glad you're willing to do this. So so you already know the question. So the first one is, what were you like as a little boy? So I know you had said that you had some memory loss and you don't remember a lot. But did you enjoy Elementary School in middle school? Michael Newman 2:20 Um, I enjoyed middle school, but elementary school not so much. The main problem that we had was that bipolar was running rampant while we're trying to find the right medication. Um, it made bipolar worse until we finally found out what I needed around fifth grade. I'm probably one of the sizings I remember that was actually very clear. For me remembering is my mom telling me that this was the happiest she'd ever seen me in the past couple of years. By polar There was major ups and downs there. I've ended up doing was called crash where if you don't know what that is, it's a it's an aftermath to bipolar. Where after an episode I get really tired. I can't think and I'm really depressed hmm that made school very difficult. Betsy Furler 3:24 Yeah, I bet and you said you liked once you got your medication kind of straightened out that made school better, I'm sure made everything better made life better. When you were in middle school, did you have any hobbies or extracurricular activities that you did? Michael Newman 3:41 Well, the main thing that I enjoy doing is art. I've done pretty much every medium you could probably think of. But starting in middle school, I started doing other things sixth grade, I started doing songwriting. And then starting in eighth grade, I began to write stories. Betsy Furler 4:02 That's awesome. Yeah. So, um, a little bit later, we're going to kind of talk about your strengths around employment. So then, so then you went off to high school. And was high school similar to middle school, or Were there any differences? did things get better or worse? Michael Newman 4:18 Things got a lot better. In high school, I'd say the issues stopped at school around eighth grade. I would have probably two episodes that were really bad at school until the fifth grade, but just for middle school, but things felt like as a lot more control afterwards. I didn't have any problems at school since then. Betsy Furler 4:48 That's awesome. And now you're, you're in college and you're going to be finishing up in about a year. Is that correct? Michael Newman 4:54 I'm going to be finishing at the end of this year. Betsy Furler 4:57 Oh, okay. So it's just one more semester. Michael Newman 5:00 After two more because I'm doing the summer semesters and have one more semester left. Betsy Furler 5:06 Okay. And then fall semester as well. Yes. Awesome. So and what is your major? Michael Newman 5:14 Um, general business? I've changed my name my major a couple of times. The first one I did graphics design for my major, which that only last fall semester because I was informed here needs Texas that job description is pretty hard to find. And then I changed it to general size and I'm doing general business. Betsy Furler 5:42 Yeah, I think that'll open up some more business opportunities, job opportunities for you. And what is your favorite thing about being in college Ben? Michael Newman 5:52 Um, well, they have. I don't live on campus but I drive up there. They have a game room actually. And my favorite thing to do the game are you playing playing ping pong with friends and actually taught other people how to play. Betsy Furler 6:13 Oh, that's amazing. That's, that's so much fun. And are you a video gamer as well? Michael Newman 6:19 Yes, I am. I've played a lot of your games, but that's not really the main thing I do much anymore. Betsy Furler 6:27 Oh, good. Yeah. And ping pong is a super active sport. It's like it's always amazing when I see people play ping pong, how much movement they do. Yeah, hand eye coordination and mood and physical movement Michael Newman 6:39 is a lot more than just involved back and forth. Betsy Furler 6:44 Yeah, yeah, strategy and everything else involved in that. And so as you get ready to graduate, I know you and your mom have been talking a lot about what kind of job you might want. So what have y'all been thinking about? Michael Newman 7:01 She thinks the best job with me would probably be a desk job routine as a big thing for me if like a sum, if I get a job description, but then things are just like I get a curveball with an assignment. Things change I start getting a little confused and worked up. I get a little stressed out. Betsy Furler 7:28 So you need as well as we're just kind of talking about jobs. We'll talk about the job accommodations too. So you need clear direction, right? Yes. Excuse me like so you like people to tell you like this is what I expect from you. And what about structure around schedule? Michael Newman 7:49 I'm really when it comes to schedule, I'm very flexible as if someone needs me to work someday I'll just go work there no questions asked. Betsy Furler 8:00 Okay, and and then I think we talked when we were talking before about one of the accommodations you might need is a little bit of flexibility on missing work occasionally, if you have a crash, Michael Newman 8:13 yes. And Unknown Speaker 8:18 oh, god, Michael Newman 8:19 oh, there was another accommodation that we had talked about. And that accommodation was when I get stressed out, I need like a moment to step back and just sort things out, kind of calm down, get things together, before you start working again. Betsy Furler 8:42 Yes, that's right. And I had said, I like 15 minutes and you said no more like five minutes, right? Michael Newman 8:47 So five tops. Betsy Furler 8:49 Yeah, not even a big deal. And what about I don't think I asked you before but what about what is your How do you like to learn new information? Do you like to read video To read watch a video here something, how to you are hands on learning? What do you think your best learning style is? Michael Newman 9:10 hands on learning would probably be the best. Betsy Furler 9:13 Okay, yeah, like going through so, yeah. So as we were, you know, on our last conversation we were talking about, you know, it's, you really don't need that many accommodations. And I think one of the things I was excited about having you on the podcast to talk about was the fact that someone could hire you, you would be a really loyal employee. And, and while you have a disability, you really need only about four things three or four accommodations that really aren't expensive or a big deal to implement because, you know, to have a little flexibility on if you need to come in late a day or so would you say a month or every couple of months when you have a crash Michael Newman 9:58 crushes really only have an episode whenever I get really stressed out, sometimes very, very rarely. I will miss miss medication, either at night or in the morning. And that can lead to some effects. But usually an episode doesn't happen often. Yes, probably a couple months. Betsy Furler 10:27 Yeah. So and then being able to take a moment away a couple of minutes, 235 minutes. And when you get overwhelmed, clear instruction, and and then maybe for your manager to know that when you're learning something new, you like to do hands on the walks instead of you know, giving it to you in written form, that having been able to walk through it is preferable to you, which that's not really even a common accommodation that's more like learning style and something that employers Do for everybody. So, um, yeah, I'm really excited. I can't wait to hear about what your job search looks like when you get there. And then you know what you what you end up doing because I think you could be you would be a really great employee for somebody. And really, they would really have to do very little for you. I really, I really wanted to point that out to people who are employers who are listening to my podcast, that there are so many times where you can get someone where they might be, you know, kind of, they don't know what to think or what to expect with someone who has artistic tendencies and bipolar. But once you get there on the workforce, you're kind of just like everybody else, you just need a couple of little couple of little things here and there that if your manager is aware of it doesn't even cost them any money or make any difference in your work. What you're doing Your productivity. Michael Newman 12:03 There's a one thing I didn't mention, though, when we start. And I think this would really help out my employers. Um, I've been told that this is very rare for people with bipolar. But I've been able to recognize what was going to lead to an episode like, I can recognize an episode before it happens. So people know, I'm going to have a problem. And this is what I need. Betsy Furler 12:36 That's Yeah, that's fantastic. That's definitely something you'll want to let your employers know that, you know, they you need, you basically need to be able to communicate with your managers. Yes. Yeah. Well, Michael, thank you again for being on the podcast. And I don't think the first time we recorded it, I asked you how people could connect with you did, I can't remember We've went through that. But if people want to, to email you, or I don't know if you're on LinkedIn or any social media, but is there any way that people could connect with you? Michael Newman 13:11 I'm really not on social media, but I'd be fine giving up my email address. Okay. Unknown Speaker 13:19 What's your email? Michael Newman 13:21 That'd be Michael Newman 199 [email protected]. Betsy Furler 13:27 Awesome. And I will put that in the show notes. Because I know this is gonna be really helpful for other people out there who are both hiring people or other people that are looking for jobs or they're college students and families. So I thank you so much for doing this interview not once but twice. Michael Newman 13:48 I really appreciate it. Betsy Furler 13:52 And to my listeners, thank you so much for tuning in today. And please rate review and subscribe to my podcast. Cast on whatever podcast platform you're listening to, and tune in to the next episode. Thanks, Michael. And thank you. Thanks so much for listening to the for all abilities podcast. This is Betsy Furler, your host, and I really appreciate your time listening to the podcast. And please subscribe on any podcast app that you're listening to us on. If you'd like to know more about what we do in our software that helps employer support their employees with ADHD dyslexia, learning differences in autism, please go to www dot for all abilities calm. You can also follow us on Instagram. And you can follow me on LinkedIn at Betsy Furler. It's f isn't Frank. You are le AR Have a great day and we will see you soon.
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028 - A Mom Helping Her Son Find Employment with Autism and Bipolar with Kristine Toon
07/06/2020
028 - A Mom Helping Her Son Find Employment with Autism and Bipolar with Kristine Toon
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Twenty Eight - Kristine Toon - A Mom Helping Her Son Find Employment with Autism and ADHD. In this episode, I interview Kristine Toon - mom of Michael. On the podcast, Kristine and I discuss Michael’s early years, his strengths and his college experience. We also discuss her dreams for his future employment. To connect with Kristine, please email her at . Join me on episode 29 when I interview her son Michael. Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host, Betsy Furler. And today I'm doing something a little different. I am talking to Christine toon, and she is the mom of two adult children with neuro diversity and we're going to talk a little bit about what their lives have been like and they're both kind of at a turning point of going from education to employment. So we're going to talk a bit a little bit about that. So, hi, Christine, thank you so much for being on the show. Hi. Nice to be here. Yes. And why don't you just introduce yourself a bit to my audience? Kristine Toon 1:14 Sure. I My name is Christine. And as she had said, I have two adult children that are moving to adulthood. They have had different challenges. One has had mostly autistic type symptoms, and that very high functioning but that comes with a whole nother set of problems when the world sees him because he looks very typical of other people. But then you find that he doesn't always understand things and they didn't know he didn't understand. And then my younger one is 23. And he has almost done with college. He'll graduate in December. But then we are now moving into a new part of his life where He's going to be looking for a job and trying to find the right employer for him. Betsy Furler 2:07 Awesome. And how old were they when they were diagnosed or you realize there was something different going on? Kristine Toon 2:13 Sure. Stephen was always the 25 year old was always quirky is what we called him. He did some odd things, but he was very bright and responsive to everything. He didn't speak until he was about a year old and they were odd words like I want this and that, and dog but he didn't say mommy and daddy and he pointed at most things. He was very fearful. And then when we put them in kindergarten, that's when everything kind of fell apart. I thought it was this perfect normal child as anyone who bought their first kid. And the first week of school, I got a phone call from the kindergarten teacher asking me to come into our conference. He was running away, not wanting to transition to anything, but just At home was fine, you know he they kind of train you in a way. And so, by the end of his kindergarten year, he was diagnosed with Asperger's. And then we started understanding the type of things he really needed to succeed. Michael on the other hand, he was older, he seemed more typical than Stephen did, but things fell apart in third grade. Bipolar started entering into his life, and he wouldn't remember things that he had done. And we were seeing some autistic tendencies also. So it was a long journey for us to get the right medications for the boys. Once they were put on the correct medications life did smooth out for us. It's still a challenge, but the out of control behaviors stopped by the time they hit junior high. Betsy Furler 3:56 Oh, that's a blessing because sometimes that's the worst time Kristine Toon 4:00 Yes, the medication route took from for Steven from kindergarten to fifth grade. And I know not everyone is into medications. But I must say today he started Risperdal. They're running away from school stopped. And Michael was probably third to sixth grade before the medications were evened out on him. Unknown Speaker 4:23 Wow, that's a long time long road. Kristine Toon 4:26 It was but thankful that we got there. So I'm not complaining because I know a lot of people give up or just don't want to get to that time period. Betsy Furler 4:38 So tell us what you have gone through talking with them and the rest of the family about what, what they might want to do as they transition out of school and into the workplace. Kristine Toon 4:52 That's been really difficult. Um, they both really like art. They love to draw. They like music. The problem with that is that there aren't always careers for that, of course, they wanted to design video games and they wanted to do web design in the typical things that we see with our kiddos. But that market is flooded a lot of times. So what I had suggested was they do those things as a side project and if it turns into something fantastic. If it doesn't, we need to have another plan also that that can be like a hobby to bring in extra money. That has gone well for my oldest Steven. We tried college with him but with his organizational skills, it wasn't really doable. And so he does music and art on the side and he does get some commission off of it. He does also work part time and receive a disability check to supplement. Michael doesn't really know what he wants to do right now. He is getting the degree So that he has something to fall back on. But, you know, we're concerned about finding the right employer that's willing to work with him. Betsy Furler 6:09 So for Michael, what type of job like he want to do? Like, would it be an office based job? Like, kind of what his skills be? And what do you think the accommodations he would need would be Kristine Toon 6:23 that I would assume he would really need an office job. The accommodations he would need would be clear instructions. Once he was comfortable with the job, he would be able to think outside the box. But in the beginning, he would meet clear direct instructions, and not to vary a bit. So our thoughts are, we're not sure how this is going to work. But our thoughts are get an entry level position in the larger company. Start from the bottom. Let them see he is a hard worker. He's willing to do things He is bright, and let them find the position for him. And like many of us, we didn't always know what we wanted to do when we got out of college. Some people have a clear direction on what they want. Maybe the employer can help guide him and then being in the workforce, he'll be able to find what he really enjoys doing. Betsy Furler 7:24 Yeah, that sounds I mean, and I don't you think that's pretty typical of a lot of people. I mean, I know when I was in college, my majors were psychology and sociology. And then I kind of landed, I kind of happened into a speech pathology program or communication disorders program and ended up kind of fat falling into my lap. But I think many people have at that age have no idea really what they want to do with the rest of their lives. Kristine Toon 7:52 I completely agree with you that our school districts now they're on kind of a track program where they they want them to pick His career in eighth grade and start molding them for that. And that's terrific, if you know what you want to do from an early age, but they're a little more lost sometimes. And I know that I am still some days trying to figure out what I want to do. I mean, I've been in the same jobs, banking for 15 years, and now I'm doing ministration work, but I think we kind of fall into what's good for us. And I'm really hoping that an employer is going to find his value, because it is there. Betsy Furler 8:38 What all have you done so far? Or is he done and looking for positions? Kristine Toon 8:45 that's been very difficult for Michael. Stephen, the older child is very outgoing, extremely social. The problem is Stephen doesn't have a filter, which doesn't seem to get him in trouble because people think that he's funny. Michael is more reserved and doesn't always give eye contact. And so he has looked for jobs and for two years, he was really unable to find anything. He'd have a job for a little bit. And they let him go for one reason or another. And recently the COVID thing, he did have a job as a dishwasher and was enjoying it. He was doing a good job, he they would call him and he he was getting lots of hours actually. But then COVID hit and of course that position went out of business. So it's it's not an easy finding, even part time jobs that were willing to work with, with him. And then we have the added problem of he needs to take medication, and the medication does today and so a lot of jobs for teens and young adults once you work to midnight. The hours or hours don't work for kids with disabilities. He needs to be home by 10 minutes. To take the medication so he can get up to do his classes The next morning, so he's not asleep now. Betsy Furler 10:07 Yeah, that is so true. That's a very good point. What are some other things like what do you think that employers could do to make a position Unknown Speaker 10:20 more appropriate for someone like Michael? Kristine Toon 10:25 Well, that's hard I, I work in a business office. And I have interviewed a few folks that I thought were on the spectrum. And when I do I desperately want to give them a chance because I know what what a valuable boy they would be. And then I have to weigh can they can they communicate with the people outside the office? How is that going to be perceived? It's so difficult when they don't look disabled. For people to not put too high of a standard on them, that they can't achieve, just the stress of the timelines are, are overwhelming. And, you know, right. Getting the top sternly to by an employer can destroy them where you and I would go, Well, they're having a crummy day. And for them, it could send them home. Really? Unknown Speaker 11:29 Yeah. I think sometimes it's the right boss. That's the right position. Kristine Toon 11:36 Yes. And I think that's going to be our largest challenge. And we have to, I must say, we have tried the government type programs where they help you find a job and we have found them in our area to be low level employment, that he would not be able to move out on his own and succeed. And that's our ultimate goal for kinos is for them to live the fullest life possible. But when they're only offering them minimum wage, you're never going to move up job. It's it's concerning? Betsy Furler 12:11 Yes. Right. I think that the other thing we talked about on the phone in the pre interview was talking about the fact that also he's going to need kind of some, you know, the ability, the freedom to take a day off here or there when he feels overwhelmed and needs that stress release, which I think you know, now more employers, I think are offering that but, you know, when you think about the entry level jobs, sometimes that type of accommodation isn't offered. But yet, it's so valuable, it might be more valuable for those employees than for the executives. Kristine Toon 12:48 Oh, absolutely. If I need a mental health day, I can take one, and I wouldn't call it that probably just like I need a day off. I can't take any more of this right now. Where they can't say that you come in, we need you now an hourly position that's just gonna be tolerated. Betsy Furler 13:10 Right. Right there. So, you know, I think I'm gonna hopefully interview Michael also for a podcast episode. I can't wait to hear his point of view. Yeah. And, you know, I think this is helpful information for employers out there who are looking to, you know, there's a really big push now for a lot of employers to to employ people with disabilities, and especially in our diversity, especially autism. Kristine Toon 13:43 And if they could really see the value of these kids, adults, they are dedicated. They want to work, they're driven, and most of all, they're pleasers, they, more so than entitlement. We see a lot of coming in and out. There's not a lot of entitlement because they haven't had a lot of entitlement. Right. Right a ton to offer and their rule followers, tell them this, it's going to be done what you say. Betsy Furler 14:15 Right. Right. And I think employers can make the accommodations that people need and kind of be also the flexibility. I think the flexibility is a huge piece that's very important for employers to think about. Is there anything else that you want to add, that might help an employer? Kristine Toon 14:36 The only other thing would be the importance of health insurance with these individuals with out good behavioral health care, and it's going to be hard for them to pay for that on the road. That's a concern. Betsy Furler 14:57 Right and also for many people Disability if they if they get SSI, and they're in Medicaid because of their SSI, which is a security income and kind of disability income for people who don't know that, and they may get a very small check for the SSI, but you know, $500 a month or something like that, but they also get Medicaid. And if you go to work, you lose that Medicare. Absolutely. And if you can't afford the private insurance to make up for that, Kristine Toon 15:31 you really can't work, Betsy Furler 15:32 even if you desperately want to work. And I think that's another factor that people need to realize that are often not not taken into account. Kristine Toon 15:43 Because the psych meds are not cheap. They they do, you do have to have a prescription for them. They have to be taken on a regular basis and insurances needed for those medications. Unknown Speaker 15:54 Right? Right. They're really prohibitive to pay out of pocket for especially for someone that entry level positions, Unknown Speaker 16:01 correct? Betsy Furler 16:03 Yeah. So Well, this was, I am so grateful that you have been willing to come on and be so candid. What is there anything else you want to tell us about your boys? Kristine Toon 16:17 They are incredibly intelligent and a lot of fun. I mean, we we laugh all the time. And I just wish everybody could see the joy that these people with autism in our case have that it is not so much disability as entertainment excitement. something new every day. Betsy Furler 16:40 Yes, and a different ability. Kristine Toon 16:42 Oh, absolutely. Yes. It's Betsy Furler 16:44 it. That's what I want people to realize. I even hate the word disability because it to me it's just a different ability. It's not less, that is just Unknown Speaker 16:53 different. Kristine Toon 16:55 Yes, they have things that I would never be able to see the world. in a beautiful way, and I just, I wish everyone could see what Betsy Furler 17:04 we get to see. Yeah, that's wonderful. Well, thank you so much for joining us. And if people want to connect with you, um, you know, maybe other moms or other people within our diversity or maybe employers who want more insight, how could they do that? The best way to connect with you? Kristine Toon 17:23 Absolutely, they can email me at [email protected] I'll be happy to speak with them. And thank you so much for having me. Betsy Furler 17:37 Yes. And I will put that information in the show notes and, and listeners. Thanks so much for tuning in today. And please share this podcast with other people subscribe rate review, on in whatever podcast platform you're listening to. And please join us again as we talk about the amazing gifts that people have to think differently and work differently, and how our world is so much better when we all think and work differently. Thanks so much for listening to the for all abilities podcast. This is Betsy Furler, your host and I really appreciate your time listening to the podcast. And please subscribe on any podcast app that you're listening to us on. If you'd like to know more about what we do and our software that helps employer support their employees with ADHD dyslexia, learning differences in autism, please go to www dot for all abilities calm. You can also follow us on Instagram. And you can follow me on LinkedIn at Betsy Furler f as in Frank, you are elhuyar Have a great day and we will see you soon
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027 - Letting Go of Control and Finding Your Purpose with De’Nicea Hilton
06/29/2020
027 - Letting Go of Control and Finding Your Purpose with De’Nicea Hilton
For All Abilities – The Podcast: A High Acheivier with ADHD with De’Nicea Hilton In this episode, I interview Dr. De’Nicea Hilton. She is a Doctor of Oriental Medicine and creates playful, healing spaces for women. We had a fun, joy filled discussion about life and ADHD. We discuss the challenge of her very unusual diagnosis of ADHD as an adult while working in an adjacent field! We also discussed how she has navigated school and work with her unique brain. To connect with De’Nicea, please go to her website www.deniceahilton.com, follow her on LinkedIn (De’Nicea Hilton) and on Instagram at DeniceaHilton. Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com Follow me Twitter: @betsyfurler Instagram: @forallabilities Facebook: @forallabilites LinkedIn: @BetsyFurler Website: www.forallabilities.com Full Transcription by Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:25 Hi, everybody. Welcome back to for all abilities the podcast. I am so excited that you're here to hear about another professional who is living and thriving and working with neuro diversity. Today we have Denise sia here with us and Denise, could you please introduce yourself to our audience? De’Nicea Hilton 0:49 Yes. Hey, Betsy, thank you so much for having me on your show. I'm so excited because I've not actually talked openly about this. Awesome Yeah, so I'm denisa Hilton, Doctor of Oriental medicine and holistic play activator. So I am in this space where I create these playful healing spaces, typically for women, so that they can embrace, embody and express their perfect, authentic selves. Betsy Furler 1:22 That's awesome. So we'll have to talk more about that as we get on with the show. But I first I want to tell us what you were like as a little girl and what was school like kind of in those early years elementary school years? De’Nicea Hilton 1:36 So let me think Let me think I was definitely one of those kids that I got along with other kids definitely got along with other kids. I would say that I was sensitive in a way that my mom would tell me as an adult, like how some things I might get sad over or I might have wanted. I do Be curious, asking questions, things like that. I definitely was also the one who took her time doing things and take my time doing things and then also exploring, um, there came a time when I was like a third think was third grade, second third grade, where it drew their attention to like me talking in class. And then who I thought I was just having a chat with, I later learned was a psychologist was testing me. And then that's when they found out that I was a perfectionist, and they are like, She's also gifted and advanced. And so basically, she's bored. So like, that's when they learned, okay, they my parents and my teachers, like Alright, well basically that's what it is. And so we gotta like step it up a notch. So my classes changed. So that was I was with I was getting a curriculum that was quote unquote tougher so that I would stay engaged. My mom totally like through me and some other activities and whatnot. I read a lot like reading was one of the things I love doing. And I still have some of my books from when I was little too. Betsy Furler 3:22 So were you a good student? Like were you making good grades? De’Nicea Hilton 3:27 Yeah, I totally was it was just what was causing my mom's attention was that it was taking me forever to do homework or sometimes like classwork. If I was the one who would be like one of the last to be done. And so that's where my mom was, you know, asking them like, what kind of work are y'all giving these kids because it's taking so long, but I would just be so engrossed in it. And I do recall, there are times and I'm like this even now and I have to leave catch myself when I'm doing it. Um, but like even just, you know, you're you're learning, you're in math. And then you're learning all like division and the addition and everything I was the one that I would seriously take my time writing so that all the numbers were lined up that the equal line was like perfectly online with a notebook paper. Unknown Speaker 4:25 Ah, De’Nicea Hilton 4:28 yeah. And so like if it was thrown off, like I was it for some reason, I think like, Oh, well, then my back would be off if, if they're not all perfectly lined up. And so I can see where I do that now. Even just drafting notes and, and whatnot, how I might go into that space of totally critiquing how I'm writing and then I'll have to, like, snap out of it, you know? Betsy Furler 4:53 Yeah. And that can really derail us from getting anything done from our productivity. By doing that, yeah, yeah. So as you went on in school, so then you were in the gifted program and what Where did you grow up? What area of the country? Us? I guess I should start with that. De’Nicea Hilton 5:11 Yeah, I'm in the US in the Tampa Bay, Florida area. Unknown Speaker 5:16 Where you're still are right. Yeah. Betsy Furler 5:19 And so as you, you know, went through elementary school and then middle and high school. How did I get in exchange for you at all? Or do Where did you still like, excel at academics? De’Nicea Hilton 5:32 Yeah, I still. It just got, I don't want to say it got harder because it wasn't really I mean, my mom was on top of it. She was very active in our academics. So she made sure that we were I was in the programs and the classes that I that I would Excel and I didn't really dip as in grades or anything. Like that, you know, a time I really dipped was in behavior in one class for talking. But that was pretty much it. Then I went into a magnet. Like at that time, there was only magnet schools. And then like the IB program, which many would know as the International Baccalaureate program. It wasn't available in middle school. So I ended up being accepted into the program and joining that program in high school. So pretty much from the time that I was tested and they switched over my classes. I was always in the classes that were going to challenge that and my mom made sure that I was and I just stayed on top of it. And you know, with all the projects and whatnot in middle school, I remember I remember one of my teachers even then I asked to be in she offered to that I would come into a different went to her classes because the class that I was slated for was a little bit too easy for me. And it was a language class. So then I would end up going to another one of her classes. So even then I was a little bit more advanced and in that regard, too, so I think like I just kind of in started taking on the like, is this easy way? Is there something else that I could do like because that's that's when I started channeling I guess what, what now I would say is boredom. Is is asking if there was anything more of right Betsy Furler 7:33 yeah. So you just like continually kind of challenged yourself to keep yourself from being bored and it sounds like you when you were young, or maybe your mom helped you with this. You were fairly organized. Unknown Speaker 7:46 I yeah, like De’Nicea Hilton 7:49 I really was actually not I think about it like some Well, well, sometimes depending on who it was. They might look at my room and be like what in the world is going is like otic mess, like you couldn't really like you couldn't be dirty like we just didn't and I wasn't really like that either. But I could see that there are times like, oh, and I got my first desk. I'm trying to organize my desk and put that in. Like, will this organization work for me? Like, I don't know. Like I just keep trying all these different things and even now Yeah, like I've it's, it has its moments and spots of very clear and then other times there's a pile or a few that Betsy Furler 8:39 so and then you went to college, obviously. And it did not go well academically. I guess I should, I guess. I'm glad for you. Well, I don't want to get your way out of order. But I want you to I do want you to tell the audience about your diagnosis because you have what your diagnosis is a little bit different. So, tell us what happened. You know what happened next? And obviously you were already working when you got the diagnosis. But anyway, go on with your story. De’Nicea Hilton 9:08 Yeah, um, did you want me to go into college? Or you want me to go? Betsy Furler 9:12 Yeah, yeah, just Yeah. Tell us how college was. De’Nicea Hilton 9:15 Yeah. Um, so I went to undergrad and I will now that we're talking about it, it's it's really making me think right like, and try to remember a lot of things. Um, during that time, I want to say that now I can appreciate that structure that I actually had that I didn't realize was structure. So I did struggle a little bit in college. Because there was just so much going on, where I was like, Oh, I want to go and do this like and just the different types of people that I met the different activities, the different organizations ended up like prioritizing those and then like I'm going to work now. So a lot of those things that became available is like, Oh, well, school stuff can kind of go by the wayside. And then what I learned towards the end, though, was that I realized just how much it is that I can work in spurts. So one of the tricks was that I learned going to summer school was the best thing for me. Because the classes were typically shorter, like if they were summer a or summer B, for those who may not know, so then it'll be like, instead of the full, like 1516 weeks, you go to classes for like seven weeks, eight weeks. And so then but your class frequency so going into class more often, actually, I realized helped me because it was like I'm going to I may be going to class more often during the week versus like the once or twice a week. During a fall or spring semester, but I mean, it was like the assignments were even like quicker to do, I could just go in there I'm so super focused. And because it was just that short time period and then boom, boom, boom, I'm out. And like, I remember one of my college advisors because I had to get permission to even take more credits during the semester than was actually allowed. Because I just told him I said, I'm just doing better in the summer so I want to maximize how many credits I can take over the summer, just so that I would basically be taking, taking advantage of how it is that I best work and also the timeframe like the time of the year, and this all is something that even now isn't talking about it is reflective of how I work now and like work work. I graduated and I started working on an internship and Then I went to grad school. And during grad school, I mean, that was a program where it was straight through, like, you could have taken breaks, but it was really designed for you to go straight through. And so we went for like 15 weeks, take two weeks off, and then you just came back and you kept going. It was very rigorous. And that it was, I mean, you were there all the time. So I think that even helped me because it was so physically I'm there. And then the classes tended to be more often as well. And then like with the assignments, so I learned that the more leeway I have in things, then it might take me longer to do it. Procrastination, and then all of a sudden, I would have created a way that I would work in spurts. So that's when I'd say okay, well, this is due so I'm just going to do this like within four or five days for us to Betsy Furler 12:56 that's exactly how I am I'm actually not diagnosed with it. The type of neuro diversity but I feel more ADHD day as the days go by, especially with the stay at home order. But it's interesting that you say that about procrastination because I'm the same way and the busier I am, the more organized and productive I am by far. And then my son, my son, he's in college is the same way and he's taking I don't remember how many he's taking a lot of hours for summer school, like I think, maybe 15. And over to summer, you know, over us, you know, half of them are a and half of them are beets. Yeah, term. And I'm like, oh, my goodness, it's so much and he's like, no, I can do it. And I think he's like you were, he actually asked me where we actually do better when we're busier. And, and the timelines are a little bit shorter. So you know, because we aren't we can work productively and we're, you know, smart and quick learners and when we can just get the get the content in and out. Done, it actually works better than than having a prolonged period of time that you can, you can procrastinate over. De’Nicea Hilton 14:09 Yeah, well, and you know what else to I noticed and I don't know if you're if if you were like this or your son's like this. I'm like, so I enjoy volunteering, right? And I ended up learning that, and especially if it's not, then I'm flaky. What it is, is that it actually goes along with the same way that I do I deal with, you know, something to do like projects or when I'm in school, it's actually project based. So like, I realized that I Excel much better when it is projects with these timeframes, like there's a start and an end. And if it's definitely shorter than wonderful, you know, hmm. So like versus the, versus the like, Oh, this you're gonna be here doing this. For so long, it's like, okay, like, if my commitment is like a year or two, and that's looming there, that's fine. But like, if you really want me to, like be of use, man get me in, in the creativity and idea phase. And then basically, I guess, show zoned into that. And then these projects that the time like, goes by so quickly, like, I know, it's already been like a year or two cool, because I would have had all these micro projects Betsy Furler 15:30 in my bed. That's what I I frequently recommend that for accommodations in the workplace is one, you know, more concrete deadlines for things for people, especially people with ADHD. And then also that kind of that traditional accommodation of extended timeline, you know, or extra time is sometimes actually harmful. For people with ADHD rather than helpful. De’Nicea Hilton 15:58 I could see that Because if you tell me Oh, well, you got some time, and I do like it. Unknown Speaker 16:05 Right then you might take it. Yeah, De’Nicea Hilton 16:09 yeah. But I may not have actually needed it in the beginning. Unknown Speaker 16:13 Right. It's right. It's right. De’Nicea Hilton 16:16 Yeah. And I've seen like, I mean, I, I will say like, to really like as an adult like so after, after actually like beginning to work in the, in the workplace, they do my internship. Um, there was, I'll say he's like, my first he was my first CEO, like professional CEO. And this man, like, was amazing in the sense that he was he was just so smart, so very smart. And you could sit in these meetings with him, and he might be very quiet and actually he might end up when he does talk. Like be very Curt into that. Right, like to the point, right? Uh huh. Um, and at first, I was one of those like Dang, like, is he was kind of harsh, like you're, and then I'm going, actually I really wasn't harsh. It was just a huge to the point, right. And then there were all these other little things that he might do. Like he might have something in his hands, and he's playing with it or sometimes even then he would get up and walk into his office because like, sometimes you'd have these meetings and there'd be a conference room that was split by a door that was leading into his office. So even then you might perceive based on his actions, that he's not paying attention, or that he's actually not like engaged in the meeting. But in actuality, I ended up learning and appreciating him doing it because it was really his way of handling his own. Like bouncing his mind possibly bouncing, but he's totally engaged in a meeting and then all of a sudden you He would say something and it'd be like, so profound decisions made. Let's move on. Like, yeah, like you it was like that space to hear people out and whatnot. But then also like what I from that, I even felt encouraged that if that's what I needed to do, then that's what I need to do. And I now might say something to people ahead of time so that they understand that it's not that I'm not paying attention is just, this is how I'm processing like, and I'm, it's like a tactful way to keep me present and engaged. Right. Right. And so then that's where it is that I feel like other people might want to actually do a self assessment. Right? Like, what judgments is it that you might be projecting? Because that's, it's based out of your perceived notion of what engagement looks like? Right? Right. Right, right. And so it's like when you understand that then you can be very mindful of, you know, when it is that you might go into a meeting or when it is you might be with a friend or something like that, and you think that they're totally not in there, but they actually might be. Or even with the kids, right? Like, it's just a matter of like, totally finding something to help keep them actually engaged in a way that's tempered and so ever otherwise, it'd be like, a complete space like I wouldn't even mentally be there totally not even paying attention. Because in that environment that you want me to be you want me to have like this quote, unquote, societally acceptable way of being in a meeting. Right? Like, Betsy Furler 19:46 right, if that doesn't work for your brain De’Nicea Hilton 19:48 at all. Right? Right. So it's like, how can you accommodate and sometimes it's, I literally have a mini container playdough that I keep in my purse, just in case I am somewhere like, our video is off, but I'm talking with my hands a lot like, with. So if I'm in a place where I'm not talking, but I'm predominantly listening in that way, then my hands can still be moving. And I'm still totally there is my hands are moving. Betsy Furler 20:18 Yeah. So you got Yeah, you have that, you know, you know, what your brain and body needs in order to be able to focus and, and be productive and efficient and which i think i think that's so important, you know, the more interviews I do with people and, and think about all sorts of neuro diversity or just, you know, even people who don't have a diagnosis or even a, you know, who, you know, do are quote unquote typical which I don't think there is anybody, but, um, you know, we all we all think so differently, which is The beauty of our world I mean, I really believe if we could embrace everyone's differences, and all different types, that everything works so much better. De’Nicea Hilton 21:11 Yeah. Like, I feel like if it's, if we can just realize and see that what we can all connect on, is in the diversity of thinking that diversity of creativity, like, it's almost like just as much as it is that you want somebody to, to listen and understand and accept you for you. We have to extend that to others. Hmm. And then, you know, go the extra step of actually allowing that to happen like in that space, and detaching from the outcome that you're looking for. Because that's usually where the friction comes is like, well, it's not in the package that you deemed and that you wanted, right? All right. So then that's how we can create like these boxes for people to, that we want them to live in. And really those boxes that end up being created out of one's own fear and fear of something different fear of them...
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026 - Embracing Your Creativity and ADHD with Julia D’Ambrosi
06/22/2020
026 - Embracing Your Creativity and ADHD with Julia D’Ambrosi
For All Abilities – The Podcast: ADHD and Creativity with Julia D’Ambrosi In this episode, I interview Julia D’Ambrosi. We discuss the challenges and the benefits of her diagnosis of ADHD. Julia and I attended the same small, liberal arts college and we talk about the challenges she faced in college. We also discuss how she has navigated work with the diagnosis. Julia is a very creative art teacher and she has a YouTube channnel where she teaches children and adults how to complete fun art projects at home. To connect with Julia, please go to her YouTube channel ,follow her on LinkedIn (Julia D’Ambrosi) and on Facebook at artpoet paintings and @creativityjulia on Twitter. Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com Follow me Betsy Furler 0:06 Hi, everybody, welcome back to the for all abilities Podcast. I am so excited to be back with another special guest. And again, this podcast is all about showing the world the amazing things that people who have brains who work a little bit differently than what we consider the norm are doing for our world. So as you listen to this podcast, please also share it rate review, subscribe, you can do that on the podcast platform that you're listening to it to this on. And please go back and listen to my past episodes I should have by the time this episode airs I should have about 25 out there. And also you can feel free to follow me on LinkedIn at Betsy walling Furler. It's f you are LR and you can also find out more about this topic. software and consulting services that I offer to employers to help them support their employees with ADHD dyslexia learning differences in autism. Get find out that information at www dot for all abilities calm. So without further ado, let's welcome our guest today, Julia. Hi Julia, can you please introduce yourself to my audience? Julie DAmbrosi 1:24 Hi. I'm nice to get to be here. I'm really excited about this. I'm always passionate about learning differences. I am Julia D and Rosie major. I grew up as Julia de ambrozy but now I'm Julia major. And I have a strong background in theater. But now I'm a visual art teacher for elementary school in the District of Columbia, DC public schools called Horace Mann elementary school, and I have been teaching art for three years and I absolutely love it. I also during this pandemic have recently started my own YouTube channel called creativity time with Julia major. And it's focused on art lessons that emphasize creativity basically really open ended art projects and art ideas that can be used by both kids and adults rather than just cookie cutter crafts. Betsy Furler 2:23 Yes, and there are so much fun. I've watched some of your videos, and I just love them. And I found Julia because we both went to Austin college up in Sherman, Texas. And we're going to talk a little bit about our experiences up there and a little, you know, a little bit further into the interview. But I found Julia through our amazing alumni page, our college is tiny, and I think over 25% of living alumni are on the Facebook group together. And that's been really fun. So I'm so glad I found you over there as well. Yes, it is a really Julie DAmbrosi 3:02 vibrant community of people from Austin College in DC to considering how small the school is. So that's kind of fun. Betsy Furler 3:08 Oh, wow. That's amazing. That's a Yeah, I love getting together with my Austin college friends. I was with one of my sorority sisters yesterday, actually. So, I'm glad to meet you and I'm so happy you're on the show. And I always ask my guests First off, what were you like when you were a little girl? So can you tell us a little bit about your childhood? Julie DAmbrosi 3:32 Absolutely. Um, sometimes I think about you know, people ask that question of like, what would be adult version of you feel like if they met the kid version of you. And I think that I grow closer and closer to the kid version of me with every day. There might have been a little part where who's different, but I'm very similar to the kid version of me. She like all the same things. I was diagnosed around I think age nine with ADHD sometimes they would say non hyperactive type sometimes they would say combined type and I know the DSM on that and all that has changed from time to time. But basically mainly inattentive ABB and I repeated first grade. Which is another thing that I have reflected on a lot. Because the funny thing is, I think a lot of what first grade involved I would still be not very great at um, and my strengths are creative thinking and engaging with other people and connecting and I'm not necessarily the strongest person that quickly tying shoes or things like that hood first grade really values Betsy Furler 4:48 and first grade is a lot about sitting in the desk or sitting at circle time on a rug in your spot and absolutely not moving a lot of paradeen and not a lot of Julie DAmbrosi 5:00 Being more in depth. I also joke that as I've gotten older, the very things that got me in trouble when I was younger in terms of answering questions are the things that they love when you get older in graduate school, they're like, don't just answer the question, dig deeper, dig deeper. And that was the sort of thing that got you in trouble in first grade. Not that I had. I actually have an absolutely remarkable teacher in pre K, kindergarten, first grade, I had her for all three years. And then I repeated first grade and she actually because she respected kids so much asked me Do I want to have her as a teacher again, and I won an adventure. So I saw another teacher, but to this day, she's one of the best teachers I ever had. But just the system of schools in first grade is really a lot about handwriting and rote tasks. And I also have dysgraphia. So handwriting was a real struggle for me. And I mean, that is one big difference between me as a kid and now I was really late to read I severely struggled with reading it was a big part of why I repeated first grade. And now I read in the 99th percentile almost any time when I've been tested on anything for reading and I absolutely love reading. Betsy Furler 6:14 Wow, yeah, I, I was a very good student. And very I'm a kind of am in, you know, kind of kind of in that imaginary box of norm. And I did very well in school because I was very obedient and I was quiet and I didn't get distracted and I followed the rules and a lot of that I've had to unlearn actually as an adult, because those skills that are really serve you well, when you're in first grade, don't serve you so well when you're an entrepreneur. So I've had to unlearn so much of that. As I've grown up. Julie DAmbrosi 6:55 Absolutely. I think that's also something that a lot of women in general feel with With sort of das idleness I was not I was not a kid who really got in trouble for squirming or, you know, talking out of hand. I mean, maybe a little bit like you suck here I'm a little overeager, but in general, I didn't get in trouble in school. Um, I my struggles were with homework and things like that, in fact, actually growing up a moment that really shocked me. I can't remember what grade I was in, but I was in seventh grade and the kid said, I bet you've never had a bee in your whole life. And what they meant, you know, they thought I was a straight A student, they thought I was top of the class and they didn't realize that I was a kid who frequently got you know, B's and C's and work really hard for them. Um, I also got quite a few days to but I was never a straight A student. And I was never someone that school came easily to me even though I often was someone that teachers really respected. I even had an AP history teacher in high school. who looked at I think I had like a C plus I think I eventually brought it up to like a B plus. But he looked at my grade and said he had no idea how I had that low grade. He's like, you're one of the best smartest people in the class and you know, all this stuff. How was this your grade? Like? I don't, I don't know. You don't need all of them work tried. Um, so yeah, I've, I've Oh, I've always Um, there's a book called The twice exceptional child. And I think the fact even that I read it. I read it, maybe in high school, but I think probably like middle school, my parents would have books about learning differences and things on the shelves and I would find them and read them myself, which I think already sort of shows the precocious side of me, and I read it and it said, having one foot in ice and one foot in fire doesn't make you look warm. And I thought that was one of the best descriptions of how I felt as a kid. I had a lot of teachers who thought I wasn't trying hard enough because They saw me and they saw it was right. And they they just couldn't understand the inconsistencies in me. Betsy Furler 9:07 Right, right. Yeah, I think that happens so many so many times with with people who are, do have the TV thing going I know that my son is the same he has severe medical issues but he's also very exceptionally gifted. And so it's been it's it's interesting to navigate the school system, especially when you when you are a person who's like that and I also wanted to add that I think 100% of the people that I've interviewed for my podcast who have ADHD or a DD have mentioned the struggle with homework. I think it's a that is such a thread that runs through everybody. So what about high school? How did you do in high school, you said A little bit about AP obviously you were taking advanced classes. Julie DAmbrosi 10:04 Yes, I had and I had to fight to be in those again. It was just so funny that the extremes of things I scored high enough on a standardized test that we had to take that it they put me in like a john hopkins study where you took the LSAT when you were in fifth grade. But I scored low enough on the punctuation side of things that they wouldn't let me be in honors English when I was in school. And finally in middle school, they had an essay test that I did well enough on to allow me to be in honors English, which was a huge goal of mine was something I really wanted all my friends were an honors English, I was passionate reading, I wanted to be an honors English and they automatically assumed because they knew that I had add and learning differences that I shouldn't be an honors English. So they talked about there being a second teacher in my classroom and I broke into tears and my mom didn't understand what upset. And I said they're obviously you know, talking about a teacher who is an assistant for kids with needs. And my mom was like, I don't think so. And I was like, Yeah, they're not putting me in honors. And we looked at and we, we called and we spoke with the counselor. And sure enough, they were going to put me in non honors and she basically tried to intimidate me into not going into honors and AP English, and said, You know, like, well, it's basically your own funeral if you do this, and I said, I'm going to do it. Because the way I looked at it, I said, you know, they're all they're gonna have spelling and punctuation and both English is the difference is going to be how much Shakespeare right? And so sure enough, I did honors English and it wasn't easy for me. But um, I did really well and I had some amazing English teachers in high school and high school in general. I chose to go to um, it was not a charter schools, a traditional public school, but it was a school that you chose to go to my brother went to it school wasn't a magnet school either. It's a very weird thing called school of choice that I've never heard before since. But you had to get in by lottery. And people thought it was strange because my brother's school was very well respected that I want to go to this other school, but I went there and I was so lucky because the schedule let me take more classes. And it allowed me to take theater and allowed me to take visual art. And I really loved my high school was a very eccentric High School, but I loved it there. And I loved that people really smart, interesting. Well, it was actually really nice time. It's funny, because since then, almost every friend I've ever made, has said that high school is a terrible time almost every person I meet that seems to have similar personalities that high school is terrible, but high school is pretty nice. For me. It was much better than Elementary, which was really difficult. And also I heard in your one of your other podcasts, you said that every pretty much every person you've spoke to had an experience with a club or something being a lifesaver. theater was something I got into in fifth grade. And I cannot imagine my life without it. It was saving for me in so many ways. It gave me confidence when I had none. And it gave me a place where people treated me like I was smart. And I wasn't just you know how I did on homework. That was a lifesaver for me. Betsy Furler 13:25 I think it's so important for people to find their tribe. Julie DAmbrosi 13:29 Yes. Betsy Furler 13:31 So our college we went to Austin college and Sherman, Texas, and you know, we always have to add the tagline. It's a small liberal arts college, and it's very far in North Texas, almost Oklahoma. And we're the kangaroos. So our college is a very academically challenging college. So I would love to hear how you how you decided on Austin college and then how that experience went for you. I know that in the preamble interview I had told you that when I was at Austin college, I'm a really good writer. That's kind of one of my strengths. But it was a lot of writing. I think it's, I can't wait to hear what you have to say about the amount of writing, reading and writing that you had to do there. So how did you choose AC? Julie DAmbrosi 14:22 Um, I had a second cousin who went there. And my mom is from Texas. And I was looking at the book colleges that change lives. And there were a lot of, sorry, a little bit of noise behind me. There were a lot of schools in that book that really interested me. And my mom kind of was just like, you know, you should look at the school too. And I wasn't that interested in it. But when I visited I was just so impressed by how intellectually passionate the people at the school were. And how diverse the school was in terms of people's interests. I wish it was more diverse in other ways, but that really spoke to me. And so that is what convinced me to go there. Betsy Furler 15:13 Awesome. So when she got there, and what? how did how did it go? Julie DAmbrosi 15:20 Um, it was a little rocky. Um, I wish I could say when better than it did. I made a lot of really great friends. I was in a sorority that I really enjoyed. Which sorority were you in? I was in Beta Sigma Chi, which I actually remember looking at my agenda when I first got to Austin college and laughing at their motto because I thought it was bogus. It was individuality. And that sounded like they were just making it up. But they really embody that a lot. And I really felt supported by them. So I'm grateful. I did it. I'm people are always shocked that I was in a sorority and I don't consider myself to fit a lot of the stereotypes of sorority. I'm sure many people in sororities and fraternities feel that way. But I think I probably wasn't ever cut out for like a big sorority. It was very small. When I joined I was the reason that they didn't go under basically, I was a freshman in my pledge class. Oh, wow. Another person who was a senior and another senior, um, Betsy Furler 16:34 but I was like patho. And for for all the listeners, which are probably, you know, 99.9% of them who don't understand Austin college. They're all local sororities and fraternities. And the Kappas were are the loud, the loud, purple people. I think I think our color perfectly represents us, but I think that's Data started the year I was a freshman or maybe the year before. Julie DAmbrosi 17:05 I started in 1987. But I'm not actually positive but close to that close to that year. Betsy Furler 17:14 So But yeah, I love the Greek system at Austin college because I think again, it kind of it gives you a tribe and it's so helpful for alumni events, and homecoming, you know, it's, it's so nice to go back. I'm super outgoing, but it's still really nice to go back and have a group that you belong to to go back to. Julie DAmbrosi 17:40 Yeah, for me it was really interesting that I like to think that I attracted a diverse group of people but in the sorority I there was probably a wide variety of people than any other group I've been in and it was really interesting to be part of a group that wasn't interest base. But yeah, I'm I met them at a poetry slam with I think says a lot about the sorority and a lot about me that was actually one of my favorite things at Austin college by far was the poetry slams. And I looking back I really wish that I had been more involved with the organization that man then I went to the meeting really early on my freshman year and didn't seem to click with them, but then went to the slams themselves. And it was one of the places that I felt most support and most treated like I was intelligent. I really loved it. Um, I studied Betsy Furler 18:29 major. Julie DAmbrosi 18:30 Yes, I was gonna say, Yeah, I studied Communication Arts, which they later changed. Like they changed the name as I was graduating to communication studies. But now it would be a theater major, it was theater emphasis then, but yes, that is what I studied. And I was in I had a theater scholarship, and I was in some plays. But I didn't get cast and very much which was hard for me because at that point, being in place had been a huge part of my life. Since I was in fifth grade believe in before that, um, but I'm kind of glad to because it gave me time for what I most valued at Austin college which was just sitting around the fireplace and having intellectual conversation with people. And I think if I had been both in plays and doing schoolwork, there's no way we would have had time for that. Betsy Furler 19:24 I think that's the same. I mean, I I still love talking to my friends from us in college, and I loved talking to them back when we were in school and both in and out of class rooms, the level of like, diversity in thought, but respect for other people's thoughts, whether they're the same as yours or different. was really, really amazing. Sam did some Tell me about academic workload. Julie DAmbrosi 20:03 Yeah. So I was gonna say in terms of going back to your question, um, I, it was really hard for me how much writing was it awesome college, I...
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025 - Adult ADHD with Stacey Kovoloft
06/15/2020
025 - Adult ADHD with Stacey Kovoloft
For All Abilities – The Podcast: Adult ADHD with Stacey Kovoloft In this episode, I interview Stacey Kovoloft. We discuss the challenge of her diagnosis of ADHD as an adult and how she has navigated school and work with the diagnosis. To connect with Stacey, please go to her community for parents, educators and other professionals at , follow her on LinkedIn (Stacey Kovoloft) and on Instagram at dyslexia_girl. Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcript from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcasts. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast, and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. This is your host Betsy Furler. And I'm so excited to be here with another special guest, Stacey Kovoloft. Stacey, thank you so much for agreeing to be on my podcast. Stacey Kovoloft 0:49 Thank you so much, Betsy for having me. Very excited. Betsy Furler 0:53 Yes. So why don't you introduce yourself to my audience so they know a little bit about you before we launch into my interview. Stacey Kovoloft 1:01 I'm I'm Stacey Koval off, and I have been an educational consultant, and advocate. And I'm also currently on admissions at an independent private school called RJ. I'm the mother of four. My children are 2522 12 and eight. Um, and I'm also the founder of an educational startup called hopes, dreams journey. And hosting journey is a community of educators and consultants, experts and parents working together to help kids succeed, despite their learning differences. We are an educational platform that we'll be bringing parents and educational professionals together. And we're going to be using something called gamification to help motivate professionals to add their content and resources and also reach out to as many providers parents as possible Betsy Furler 2:13 about is so awesome. So I will definitely link to that in the show notes and we'll talk a little bit more about it at the end of the interview as well. So how I usually start my interviews is always asking my guests what they were like as a child. So what were you like when you were a little girl? Stacey Kovoloft 2:32 And I was curious. I had more energy than I think any of my family members knew what to do with. Uh huh. Um, I was never able to sit still. So obviously I self diagnosed myself with ADHD. Um, I was a very anxious child I I was always afraid of failure. failure. I didn't accept failure very well. School was really difficult for me. I really believe that by the fifth grade my formal educational Unknown Speaker 3:18 career Unknown Speaker 3:19 was put to bed. Oh, wow, that's so young. Stacey Kovoloft 3:24 It was really. I, I had dysgraphia dyscalculia and was labeled by my teachers. I remember in second grade, not being able to sit still in the classroom and I would go use going to the bathroom is a way of being able to get up and move my body around. Uh huh. I peed myself in my second grade seat because the teacher stopped allowing me to go to the bathroom. Betsy Furler 3:52 Oh, cuz you're done up, gotten up so many times. Stacey Kovoloft 3:56 Not too many times. Yeah. And then I think it was fifth grade. I used to chew gum, it's a form of sensory integration. And my teacher made me stick a ball of gum on the tip of my nose. Oh, awful. It was really awful. Um, my family. My mom got quite ill when I was young, and I was separated from her by the age of 11 years old. So I had trauma with and I think that made my anxiety levels increase. And I was brought to California, and I went into the private. I went into the independent private educational system, I was at it. I was at a Jewish Day School, where instead of the educators being honest with my parents about my educational needs, I was pushed through Unknown Speaker 4:45 and Well, Stacey Kovoloft 4:47 yeah, so I had a father that believed in me, and told me that I could do anything on my mother's side of the family who were all very well educated. I'm really At a very young age told me I had no choice but to get married, I would never be able to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself. And I did just that I got married at 23 and had my first child by the time I was 24. But I made a commitment that I would not and my kids would have the opportunity to go to college, they would go to college and whatever resources that they would need, I would be there to help provide them. Um, so to back up a little bit, I ended up not finishing high school. I left high school in 11th grade. Um, I had it I was I was always self driven. And I was not a follower. And I ended up getting a job with Project headstart. Mm hmm. And so by the time I was 18, I was with headstart full time, and I was with headstart for five years and We became we ended up losing our funding, and we were a federally funded program and became a state funded program. At that time, I ended up going back to school and getting my early childhood units and worked up to local independent private schools in Los Angeles. And I must say it's 20 years ago, I found that school shop la Hmm. After teaching nursery school for 20 years. Betsy Furler 6:36 What is interesting to me that you while while school was so hard for you and didn't work well for you, then you ended up going into education, actually, at a really young age. Stacey Kovoloft 6:48 I wanted to prove, you know, I think my mission was, you know, for the longest time to prove to my family, that I was smart, because I was always I always felt dummy down. I always felt that broke in, I think till this unit I just turned 50 and I think till this day, I'm constantly trying to prove myself and weight it in almost unnatural ways. You know, in my, in my immediate family, my mother, my, my, my aunt, my uncle, and even my, my, the young, my younger sister, or any of my siblings for that matter. Um, but yeah, and you know, I've always been very very passionate because you know, I've never I I don't want though it it's not the case I've never wanted you know, anyone child to have to leave. We live what what my educational experience was? Betsy Furler 7:43 Yeah, that's it's i i think it's so wonderful when people take what could have been a will probably was a terrible experience, but you've taken it and made something good out of it. And also, you're so you've never been you've never Ever been officially diagnosed? Correct with ADHD or dyslexia or dysgraphia? So can you talk tell my audience a little bit about kind of how, how that's come about and what happened there. Stacey Kovoloft 8:14 So ADHD, and you know, I have really focused on things that I'm interested in, you know, education I could read educational read for hours, listen to lectures for hours, but things that are not like most people, but I really, I I have a harder time with things that are not of interest. I also have to move around. Um, you know, I move around a lot. I multitask. I can't you know, if I'm, if I'm reading I always have I believe it or not have the TV on I could be, you know, organizing something and reading at the same time, maybe works better with multiplayer. You know, multi facilitated activities. I'm just scrappier, you know, I have brilliant ideas, I can dictate wonderful emails and letters. I implemented technology on my computer. But when I try to type something out myself, it sounds like I'm drunk. My, my, my children till this day get really aggravated with my text messages. At work, we use something called slack. And I've been labeled by other colleagues of mine, which you know, is as far as I was concerned, it was slander. And when you're working in an educational environment, there's not tolerance for those who have disabilities. Mm hmm. So as incredible as the work that I've done, I'm still so misunderstood by a lot of my colleagues. Betsy Furler 10:09 Wow. Yeah, that's and I've heard that from other people too, who are in education and have their own differences or disabilities that they have felt very misunderstood. Stacey Kovoloft 10:22 100 misunderstood. I have, you know, other colleagues of mine that have had podcasts and, you know, unless unless they have a PhD or master's or doctorate, they don't, you know, they're like, Oh, my God, you might hinder our program, as well. Yeah. But meanwhile, you know, I've been successful. I have, you know, two very well adjusted young adults. I, uh huh. So we're very younger children. I, you know, financially self sufficient. But that was a homeowner at 24 years old. Betsy Furler 10:55 Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. And, and you've been a mom for a long time. time when you were talking about how old your kids were, that's what I thought I was like, Wow, she's been a mom for a really long time. So tell us a little bit about what you're doing now. So everybody can connect with you but also benefit from the resources that you that you're developing. Stacey Kovoloft 11:16 So what we're doing now is I am still an educational consultant, but we're focusing on hdj. We are reaching out to educational providers, educators of behavioral therapists and therapists, speech therapists, OT PT, pediatricians, reading specialist, dyslexia specialist, and we are trying to get them to sign up for our for our site. Betsy Furler 11:50 And what So give us a kind of a walkthrough of what that will look like. So will you have professionals members and ORS are how am I gonna work? Stacey Kovoloft 12:04 We are a destination for parents to learn more about their child and how to help them succeed. This all starts with education. Our network of professionals has the knowledge and experience to educate parents by adding articles, resources and videos. the more you'll The more you contribute to our site, the more visible you'll be in our hdj community. Unknown Speaker 12:25 That's a great idea. Unknown Speaker 12:27 Cuz it kind Unknown Speaker 12:28 of motivates people to put more information up, Stacey Kovoloft 12:33 right? We're going to be promoting all of our content on social media and advertising online, and AR will be the destination for parents who want to help Betsy Furler 12:44 their children succeed. That's awesome. It is it isn't location specific at all, or is it us specific or is it going to be information for kind of everybody? Stacey Kovoloft 12:56 Right now we're launching Los Angeles, Chicago, and believe it or not, My next our next will be in Houston, Florida, we hope, you know to eventually be all over the United States and then possibly International. We will also be connecting families with schools because I think with distance learning becoming so prevalent is educational, you know, daily resources being needed, we're going to we're going to be adding schools and such to our site. Betsy Furler 13:27 Awesome. Yeah, I was gonna I wanted to ask you, um, how has COVID-19 and the stay at home order affected both you from your workflow? And, you know, from a personal standpoint, as far as with your ADHD, and your other, your other differences, and how has it affected the thought process on how to go forward because I know when, when you and I talked to the other day, we talked about the fact that education is probably going to be changing, it's going to look a lot different And so anyway, I was interested in finding out what you thought about that Stacey Kovoloft 14:05 about how it's affected me personally. Well, I, I have two young kids at home that were assisting to be homeschool to young students at home right now that I'm working with, and how is it affecting me as far as my consulting business? I've been receiving a lot of phone calls. I think a lot of parents are scared. Globally, you know about what is going to be with their public educational programs, a lot of learners that public schools are not doing a great job with their online learning. Mm hmm. I have a lot of parents that moved into local great school districts that are realizing that their local public school is not working up either I've been receiving a lot of requests for information for private schools, but also a lot of families with fear of how they how are they going to be able to sustain the cost of private school? Betsy Furler 15:13 Right, right. It's kind of a catch 22. Also, I know for the schools, you know, how are they going to survive? How are the parents going to be able to pay for tuition, there were so many issues. So it's interesting that you It sounds like you've been really busy. Since this has all happened really Stacey Kovoloft 15:31 busy. Rotate the school that I'm at admissions at is is a totally different kind of a model. We really have focused and honed in on 21st century education. Instead of finals. There's symposium. There's roundtable discussions, all the information even today is very relevant to what's happening in the world. We're not teaching teaching to the textbook, which is generally speaking for most, most people Students who are bored in the classroom, students with ADHD are students that get frustrated easily or even students that are chewy. Our RTI has been ideal. I think that whole independent private school model is probably just in general going to have to change because of affordability. So I've been busy speaking to families, I've been busy and super excited working on this startup. Next Wednesday, next, sorry, the the evening of the third educational professional series and I'm starting out with two educational attorneys that will be speaking about what families need to know about accessing resources during this time. Uh huh. The second week, I have a neuro psychologist that's going to be speaking in the third week. I have a global educational college consultant that is going to be doing an event. And then I have a friend who's involved in she has a podcast called overthrowing education. And she is going to be speaking about what is what needs to be acquired to receive 21st century education. Unknown Speaker 17:30 Oh, that's fantastic. Stacey Kovoloft 17:32 Yeah. So I'm putting a lot of different events together but also really honing in and kind of making a shift for myself to focus on our educational startup and bringing providers to our to our space. Betsy Furler 17:45 Yeah, that's that sounds amazing. It sounds like it's the perfect time for my listeners to go onto your platform and get get signed up and start utilizing those resources. Well, this has been amazing. Stacey, thank you so much for joining me today. Stacey Kovoloft 18:04 Everybody to sign up for host dreams journey.com it's hope dreams journey.com. Betsy Furler 18:11 Awesome. And I will put that in the show notes. And can I also find you on LinkedIn? What's the other like? Is there another social media platform? Stacey Kovoloft 18:20 Yes. Behind dyslexia girl on Instagram. Okay. Unknown Speaker 18:25 And what's your girl on Instagram? Stacey Kovoloft 18:28 Yes. So we have we have, we've just started a Instagram for hdj. And then you can also find me on LinkedIn. Betsy Furler 18:39 Perfect. And I will put links to all of that in my show notes. Because I'm sure there are many people that are listening that will really benefit from this. And so it was great talking to you today. Thank you so much. And to my listeners. Thank you for tuning in, please rate review, subscribe to the podcast. Wherever you are listening to it on whatever podcast platform you're listening to, and I will talk to you all soon. Stacey Kovoloft 19:08 Thanks so much. Thank you. Betsy Furler 19:11 Thanks so much for listening to the for all abilities podcast. This is Betsy Furler, your host, and I really appreciate your time listening to the podcast. And please subscribe on any podcast app that you're listening to us on. If you'd like to know more about what we do in our software that helps employer support their employees with ADHD dyslexia, learning differences in autism, please go to www dot for all abilities calm. You can also follow us on Instagram. And you can follow me on LinkedIn at Betsy Furler f isn't Frank, you are le AR Have a great day and we will see you soon. Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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024 - Adult ADHD and Then Diagnosed with Autism with Sarah Worthy
06/08/2020
024 - Adult ADHD and Then Diagnosed with Autism with Sarah Worthy
For All Abilities – The Podcast - Adult ADHD and Then Diagnosed with Autism with Sarah Worthy In this episode, I interview Sarah Worthy. We discuss her life as a child with ADHD and then her diagnosis of autism in adulthood. She discusses how has navigated life and work with the diagnoses and her love of running and video games. To connect with Sarah, please follow her on LinkedIn (Sarah Worthy). Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our consulting services and software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcript from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:04 Hi, everybody, welcome back to for all abilities the podcast. This podcast is meant to inform the world of the amazing things people with neuro diverse brains are doing for our world. This is Betsy Furler. I'm your host, and I'm so excited to have my friend Sarah worthy with me today. Sarah Worthy 0:24 Hi, Sarah. How are you? I'm great, Betsy. Thanks for having me here today. Betsy Furler 0:28 Yes. So Sarah is also a female entrepreneur. She's founded a SaaS software company, and she's going to tell you all about that. But first, Sara, tell us a little bit about yourself. Give us a little intro. Sarah Worthy 0:45 It's always tough to do an intro for me. I have been had a really exciting career over the past 15 plus years. Most of its been working inside growth stage technology startups across telecommunications hardware software. You know, the internet is has come out. So I've really gotten a chance to see the inner workings of everything that makes you know today's world possible. You know, I guess that's the nutshell of what I am. I'm also a mom, and a runner, avid, and an avid ADHD spectrum person. Betsy Furler 1:21 So, tell us a little bit about how you What were you like as a little girl, Sarah Worthy 1:26 I was everything you would typically expect from somebody who is later diagnosed with ADHD. But nobody ever caught it back then. But I was I was also very smart and incredibly smart. I was in gifted and talented programs. From the time I was in fourth grade. And I guess even third grade I was in a small group in that classroom of two other kids. They did all the accelerated math and things like that. You know, I was also really hyper getting outside running around. I was out catching tadpoles in springs. You know, getting dirty and making mud pies was one of the funniest stories I like to tell from my childhood that kind of segues into how I became an entrepreneur. I was always trying to sell things on street corners, not just the lemonade stand like I did the lemonade stand once I was like, oh, but all the other kids are doing that. So I had been I had a toy sale a cop stopped by and said I couldn't sell toys on my curb without a permit so i'd shipped really nice about it. And so then I had an earthworm fish he said, You know cuz I watch cartoons. I don't know. I was like eight maybe at this time. And I thought well, there's there's people go fishing so and we have a bunch of earthworms in our yard. So I dug up a bunch of earthworms and was trying to sell them not one of them sold by the way. I did put them all back because I was grew up in San Antonio, Texas, and there's no place to go fishing and you don't use earthworms for bait I found out that's just in cartoons. But I was always doing little things like that, that I think were kind of interesting. I definitely had a non traditional childhood and now way. I also grew up with a computer, which you know, for most kids is something today, they're starting to have the, you know, you're not that much different from me. You know, growing up, the internet didn't exist, but I had computers, computer games, dial up modem, that kind of thing. So I was always out there getting into things, really curious about things and exploring them. And I offer all my memories of my childhood are kind of mixed because I also had a lot of trauma, that result that was there from my and not being diagnosed as a kid and I was called a tomboy. I was called a difficult child. As I became a teenager, the meltdown started, and I didn't get a lot of support and that end, but I had my running. I had I was really great at sports. I was really great at school, and I took solace in that and just just plugged away. And then I went off to college at 16 at a early, gifted, talented program up at the Texas Academy, math and science and moved out of the house and from there I Guess I just was an adult and college started. And so there I don't know, is that a good initial story of my childhood I get into? Betsy Furler 4:07 Yeah. So when did you start running? So you so you know what, I'll just keep the listeners in that. And before we started recording, Sarah and I were talking about running because I've been a person who has literally never run and my wife and I decided that I need to start running now. Because I'm walking a lot during this COVID-19 stay at home and I realized as life becomes more normal, I'm probably not going to have enough time so I need to start running. And I really started walking so much because I was getting so restless being in the house and I do not have diagnoseable ADHD but I am a very active person as far as I love to get out and talk to people do things. I'm always multitasking and doing stuff. So anyway, so how old were you when you started running? Sarah Worthy 4:56 So well as my mom would tell. It is Running before I was walking Betsy Furler 5:03 you're one of those you just went straight to the running. Sarah Worthy 5:05 Yeah. And I was doing that by like nine months of age and and I have some pretty early childhood memories. One of them I was maybe four, and they hit so this is what I was like they had to install these special locks on all the doors to the house that were really up high so that I couldn't leave the house I learned very quickly how to get a broomstick and pop them off. And so again, I was like four and and because I wasn't in preschool in preschool yet and so it's right before then, but I decided to take my dog for a walk to the grocery store one day and you know I grew up in San Antonio nice little area. It was maybe a mile from there wasn't a mile mile and a half. It wasn't that far. But But I walked with a dog I went into the store let the dog tied up outside. I got some gum and a binder I got a kite one of this disposable plastic kites and stuff. And I just walked out of the store I put all five pieces of this chewing gum in my mouth at once. Like I remember this clear as day and got the dog and I was walking away and a police officer in the parking lot stopped me. Because here's this little kid. I just did all this effort. I had no concept of any of that none of this was intentional. It was just Betsy Furler 6:20 go to the store and you get stuff and then you leave. Sarah Worthy 6:22 Yeah, and luckily I was really cute as a little girl so I could get away with murder practically I never have murdered anybody. But I could have probably gotten away with it how to try. But But he so he pulled me in the car. And it was so funny. Looking back on it now because I was really like was like, I was a little scared and intimidated, but not like super bright. I still didn't think I'd done anything wrong. I had no concept of that. But he said he's like asking me questions. But he said I'm going to give you a lie detector test and I'm going to know if you're lying and I guess he's used to kids like this or something. But looking back, I realized a few years later, a little older. All he was doing was doing this switchboard thing because he had coffee Cars if you've never seen me inside of them even back then they were all gadget ended up as he's just flipping a switch to this light that would turn red or turned off depending on what he thought I was doing. So he obviously does not lie. That's funny. Yeah, of course, I told him all the truth because I, what did I know better? And so he taught took me in my dog band at home and my parents at this point, were frantic. My grandmother and grandfather were raising me and my grandmother had gone to water the Golan or he was on the phone with I don't know what it happened when I slipped out. But these these things happen all the time for me. But besides always leaving the house running around, the energy had to be going somewhere. And I was very lucky. I lived in a neighborhood where you could go out and do these things. Our cross country team ran the neighborhoods after schools together for training. So I'd remember my childhood mostly being outside running around the neighborhoods and like you and I were talking about, I mean, sometimes I walk it's no big deal. Right? Right. I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was 12. And so, which was a little odd in my neighborhood, all my friends, kids had bicycles. And I actually never had one until one of my friends got a new bike for Christmas. And she sold me her old one for, like, $10. And then she taught she taught me how to ride my bike. And so Wow, so I've ridden a bike every now and then, but I never really became that comfortable with it. So you know, there's always trade offs, I guess, if you spend all your life running. Betsy Furler 8:26 Yeah, yeah. So So you went off to college at a really early age. And what were you like in college? Were you a more academic time of college kid more social kind of college kids? Like what? What was the college experience like for you? Sarah Worthy 8:42 Oh, so it was a little bit. So when I was with Tam's, it was a little different at first. So the first two years the Texas Academy math and science is a program that takes in high school juniors through their junior and senior year and you get college AP credit, while simultaneously getting high school credit for the same class. So like I would take biology, hp, with, you know, other college students, but I would get high school credit as well. And during that time you lived in the dorms but every once a month you had to go home to your parents and they had curfews and all of that. So I think it would have been probably a little bit more like boarding school might have been I never went to school, but a little bit like that. And it's really funny because I kept in touch and I've seen old yearbook photos. I was never really you know, I look back I've always felt I I consider myself an extrovert and I really like people. But I really, especially as a teenager was not comfortable with myself. I was dealing with an eating disorder at that time. And I had a boyfriend and I had a few friends but it was a small group of people where I felt accepted no matter what I did. And I was very lucky to have that group of people there because there were a lot of moments during my teenage years when I was suicidal. I never, I never attempted it. But I got really close a couple of times and And so, you know it again it goes. I think a lot of it comes back when I look back. I feel very lucky to have come through that, obviously. But it was certain people incidents like getting into tamps really helped when I was back in a regular school, I was bullied all the time by the kids at school. The teachers all adored me. So it was that I got the teacher's pet. But I didn't understand, especially the teacher, I had no clue about all of these things that apparently everybody else knows. And everybody just thought there was that I wasn't trying or that I was intentionally rebellious or something like that. And not I was like, I just never I felt like I went through that period in a fog. When I got off to regular college after I was an additional department was living on my own. I was actually one of those people. I went to my classes, but then I also had a full time job to pay for things. And so school was almost like my part time activity. You know, Betsy Furler 10:57 like, Yeah, I was Sarah Worthy 10:58 I was doing 15 days. Our course loads, but I was scheduling my classes, you know, as much as I could just, you know, two days or three days a week. So I wasn't on campus except for those times. And in the rest of time I was at work. And so at that point, I it, it was more, I think, if you were someone going back to school in your 30s or 40s, you probably have found that college experience, I wasn't drinking, I wasn't part of a fraternity. You know, like, I was going to a lot of therapy at that point to get my eating disorder issues resolved. I got married. So all of those kinds of things that are kind of a little bit different. And I don't regret it at all. I look at a lot of the damage that some of my friends have done in college to their bodies, and I'm like I lucked out. Betsy Furler 11:44 Yeah, when I was in college, I was hanging out with my three or 400 closest friends and my my best friend from college just found her old calendar from college the other day and it's like she was like Betsy, we went to a lot of parties because so On this calendar, she wrote down like, you know, this party on this day and, you know this party on Monday. Well, now we had our sorority meeting on Monday. So, Tuesday, this party Wednesday, that party Thursday, this party, Friday, that party Saturday, another party Sunday study for whatever tests that and I went to a real academic, academically focused college and obviously, I did attend classes too. But, um, yeah, we, we spent a lot of time like I say, with our closest three to 400 friends, and it's so it's so interesting to me when I hear about other people's college experiences. And, you know, it's another way where people are so different and can kind of still, like, get to the same end point through a really, really different experience. Yeah, well, Sarah Worthy 12:52 it's funny you say that, I mean, the first, the first year and a half or so after Tam's. I was pre med and just work in school was everything I was focused on, I don't think I went to a single party of any kind during that time. And that was also around the time my grandfather passed away. So it was a really hard time. And I really, I don't think I have any friends from that time in school. And then when I changed my major to philosophy, and in fact, part of like, when I took an intro to philosophy class, which was required for my degree, I just fell in love. And I just I was, like I said, I'm changing my major, I got a business major as well, because I knew with a philosophy degree, I'd never get a job. I was like, I will get a job with this. And so I've got to be practical as well. So I got the business degree as well. But the philosophy classes that was probably one of the best parts of my college years was being in those classes, and debating with other people. And philosophical debate is not like a political debate, and a lot of people don't know right, and I wish they did. I really wish they did. Because a lot of times they think that when I'm, I'm talking about an issue and it becomes You know what, I think As a bloodless philosophical debate, they start to feel like oh, it's conflict or something. But in those classes again, I felt like I was with a group of people that they enjoyed talking about really deep subjects. They enjoyed that back and forth. We were there to learn if you made them if you weren't correct, if the other person had a better argument or made a good point, it was actually very validating to me to be in that environment, because it helped me be challenged and to grow my business classes. Meanwhile, like my economics classes, one of my professors put all of this old tests in the library. So I just went and looked at it. I never I went to none of my classes that semester, just for tests. And I got, like, 100 kids in the class, but I ended up he because he had an attendance policy. I was like, I'll take a B because my time right, you're not ever elsewhere. Right? Because it was it wasn't challenging to me, and I really needed to be in so like with Tam's with philosophy. Like I have always had to be in environments like that where they push me to be better all the time, or I just get bored and I give up and I just, I find something else to do. I played a lot of video games in college, I still do. And a lot of people think of that as a frivolous thing. For me, I've really been able to utilize a lot of my experiences, from video games to make better user experiences in my software, which is something I think we sorely need today in business. It's something that's fun to use, not just, you know, a spreadsheet. It's not a waste of my time, I guess. I don't know. Betsy Furler 15:28 So back to the philosophy classes and all of that, and then I want to talk about gaming. And so my small private liberal arts college, all of our classes were pretty much like that. So we would have I mean, I had classes with six people. And, and we would, we would discuss all sorts of issues and very controversial issues at times and I took a lot of religion classes and, and I would say, Well, you know, like to some people in the class very well. rageous statements about religion because I, I believe God loves us all. And so and you know, there be like a kid who grew up Southern Baptist too has a different opinion on that and, and but it was so amazing to be able to sit in those classes and for me to listen to their opinion and then to listen to my opinion, and, and not have a feeling at all if I've got to change you, um, but just kind of learning from each other and taking in all of those different worldviews on all sorts of different topics. And I think it's something that, you know, you and I and other people who had that experience in college or earlier in life can now really take to this climate that we're in now and be able to take in information, synthesize that ourselves and make up our own opinion, and you know, come up with our own opinion on what's happening, but also be able to understand that just because somebody doesn't agree with us It's okay. It's, you know, oh yeah, that that happens in the world. Sarah Worthy 17:04 And you actually went to the same college my mom and my stepdad went to because you went to Stephen F. Austin, right? Betsy Furler 17:11 No, I went to Austin college and Sherman. Sarah Worthy 17:13 Yeah, that's one. Sorry. I used to think I didn't go there. My parents did. But But yeah, no, I didn't know that when Way up north of in the...
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022 - Interview with Ron Sandison
05/25/2020
022 - Interview with Ron Sandison
/episode/index/show/forallabilities/id/14486294
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021 - Managing NeuroDiversity when Working From Home
05/18/2020
021 - Managing NeuroDiversity when Working From Home
/episode/index/show/forallabilities/id/14407916
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020 - Interview with Michael Szafron: Autism in Business
05/11/2020
020 - Interview with Michael Szafron: Autism in Business
On this episode, I interview Michael Szafron - Sales and Marketing Consultant and Owner of Autistic Superpowers! On the podcast, Michael talks about his early life and diagnosis of Autism later in life. He talks about how Autism impacted his career and his early career in retail sales and the impact that learning sales scripts had in his professional and personal lives. We also discuss the ups and downs in his career and the importance of his coworkers understanding his autism. To connect with Michael, please follow him on LinkedIn (Michael Szafron). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning into forel abilities. I've got another special guest with me today. And in a minute he's going to introduce himself and he is going to talk about later in life diagnosis of autism and how that's affected his life. Both his personal life and his work life which he has some really interesting insights on that. If you are listening to this podcast please obviously you are listening to this podcast. Please share with your Friends, please review and rate the podcast, you can do that on whatever platform you're listening to the podcast on. So thank you again, this podcast is all about understanding our differences and understanding our strength is our difference. And that if we all sit inside that imaginary box of the norm, we would have a really boring and unproductive society. So I'm so excited to have Michael here with me today. Michael, please introduce yourself to my audience. Michael Szafron 1:33 Hey, everybody, I'm Michael saffron. I run a business management consulting company, if I'm the only one in it, and I get to work with a lot of different really interesting things now, but it's been a long journey to get here and I think we're going to go through that with with Betsy. Betsy Furler 1:52 Yeah. So thank you again for being here. And how I usually start the show is by asking my guests about their childhood. So could you tell us what you were like as a little boy? Michael Szafron 2:04 Well, I mean, I hear a lot from my parents about how I was. But you know, looking back, you know, my childhood was was quite a bit of a struggle. I really didn't have very many friends at all. I guess when you have like a university vocabulary when you're five years old, you don't make a lot of friends. And it was very interesting. It was very trying. And as I went through, you know, elementary school is probably more grade five, grade six, I really wanted to start having friends. And I couldn't figure out why kids didn't like me or want to talk to me, you're hanging out with me and made fun of me and beat me up and that kind of stuff. So I started really studying what they were doing, what they were saying and how they were agreeing. And then I still didn't have any friends. But eventually, you know, towards junior high and then getting a little older. I started to get a bunch of people Things that that people, you know, I guess neurotypicals do is standard greetings. How are you? You know, it's interesting because I really don't care about how their weekend was but there's all this chitchat that you have to do with people so that they feel comfortable with you and don't feel that you're that you're strange. Betsy Furler 3:19 Yeah, that's really interesting. I, I'm a extreme extrovert and an extremely social person. So yeah, some of those things that come so naturally to some people are really difficult for other people. And a imagine as a child, that is extremely confusing. Michael Szafron 3:42 Yes, it certainly is. But again, you know, you set up sort of goals and, you know, I wanted to be able to interact with people and have and have friends and really not, you know, it was just it was really trying but then eventually, you know, I got in with a group of people In high school, I started doing band and i and i did baseball and, and started having some some, you know, good friends and acquaintances don't really talk to many of those people anymore. But, you know, life got a lot better when I when I got to high school and started finding things to do and it got a lot better. Betsy Furler 4:20 That's interesting too because I think it is really important for kids really adults to to kind of have a tribe, I kind of have a group of people that they have something in common even if you are a person who's very different different than other children. I think our our society, our educational system in particular is very much set up where the average student or the average kid is the one who everything revolves around. You know, you're not if you're a kid, he's really an outlier. I know one of my sons was very much like this. And he's he's much more adult he was much more adult like, so when you're a six year old and you act like an adult in many ways and you get along really well with adults, you don't really get along that well with other six year old who is who your social circle is and everything about you is based on your interactions with those kids. Um, but I think it's it's great that you kind of found even if it wasn't people that you had a ton of stuff in common with at least something that you some people that you have something in common with in band and in baseball. And so were you. Were you a very good student from an academic standpoint. Michael Szafron 5:51 I mean, I did okay, I I've also got ADHD. So I really got distracted a lot daydreamed a lot. I mean pretty good at math and science. But if I didn't, if I wasn't engaged in the material, I mean, it takes three seconds for me to check out and be on the beach thinking about something else. So my, I mean, I did pretty well in school, but the things were, I would only do well the things that I liked and the things that I didn't like. I was pretty much checked out. Betsy Furler 6:20 Yeah, probably didn't care too much about them. Yeah. And what did you do after high school? Michael Szafron 6:28 So after high school, I went to university for a year and a half. And it was just, you know, interesting in the 90s. And, you know, my son, my friends, were getting jobs and stuff, and I just, I just couldn't do the school thing, which which was really tough on my parents because they, you know, extreme academics all the way through the family. So my dad taught the university for years so they were pretty upset when I chose after a year and a half to leave and go sell computers at a retail store. Which, in Canada is called future shop I grew up in Canada, it's the same as Best Buy, but actually turned out to be one of the absolute best moves I ever made. One of the really interesting things that really helped me socialize and build a career was going to future shop. I, they took me to another town Calgary and put me in a hotel for a month. And I got to go to sales school. And what's very interesting is going to sales school taught me a bunch of skills that I could relate to the rest of my life. So they have a program called guest, which was great understand, educates carry the sale on tank, and it is an absolutely scripted encounter with another human. So when someone comes in you say Hi, my name is Michael, welcome to feature shop, what brings you in today? And then you listen. And then you go through qualification? You know, what have you seen that you've liked? Where else have you been? What are you using it for? And this script can translate into your Personal life, it can translate into other business, learning a script that you can run your life on. It was a lifeline for who I was and where I wanted to go. And I still use a lot of those pieces today. Betsy Furler 8:13 That's so interesting because that's I'm a My background is as a speech pathologist. And so as a speech and speech therapy, we often teach scripts to kids who are struggling with, especially with their social communication skills, and kind of go through ideas of Okay, what can you say here? What can you say there? Because really all of us work on scripts, and they just kind of much more natural for some people than others. And that this the, that idea around the sales piece is really that that is fascinating. I'm going to keep thinking about that actually, for my for my own sales cycle, or my own sales process with my company as well. Maybe I need some more scripts around sales stuff that I'm not very good. Double lab. So that's amazing. So you and I want to remind the listeners that you were not diagnosed at this point. You were diagnosed just a few years ago. So at this point you are going through life. What were you thinking about yourselves? Michael Szafron 9:21 Well, I mean, I because you're looking at the world through your own lens, you don't know that you're really any different. And you're just, you're just trying to adapt and be okay in the world. And it's more of the other people don't know. And they, they think you're a little off and they they're not sure what to think of you. They think of you like a robot like Spock like my you think autistics wouldn't be good in sales and maybe not in the wheel and dealin kind of way but my sales are very scientific, very fact based, very analyzed. You know, and and when you get down through a decision tree, if it's a good deal for them, You support it. And actually, if it wasn't a good deal for them, I tell them to go get something out. Because that's the right thing to do. Right? It was just, I was always just off the curb, it seemed like and as far as you know, relationships and people i didn't i didn't get that it was it was just get there and go do your thing. One of the other interesting things that's happened all my life to is not very good with some with spontaneity. So like even this, this call today, I mean, we've already had about, you know, 300 conversations in my head as I got ready for it, if everything you would say, or I would say, and I still do this stuff now. Like when I was going to have I did that Fight Club event digital Fight Club was Steven. I mean, we probably had, you know, 1000 fights in my head of every possible commutation of conversations that you could imagine. Before I got to that before I got to that moment. So everything thing is always pre rehearsed in your head and it moves very fast. And sometimes that's what keeps you up at night is, you know, going through 1000 conversations. So everything is can from meeting the chair the next day or a customer encounter, or whatever the case may be. So that keeps your head very, very busy a lot of the time. Betsy Furler 11:18 Right. And that must take a lot of energy. Michael Szafron 11:22 It doesn't seem to it just kind of goes, I'm just Betsy Furler 11:27 interesting. And so on off on that topic. And and we didn't discuss this before. We got on the call on the recording. But what about what has happened with COVID-19 with you has that has that changed in everything that we do thrown you off? Michael Szafron 11:50 Well, not really. So well. I mean, there is an adjustment period and I'm very much into very specific routines, but I already spent a lot of time working at home. Okay, a lot of time processing that stuff. Recently now with one of the oilfield services companies, we actually have a contract that requires that died legally come into the office and do work here. Which is interesting. But it, it didn't need to change my routine that much just because of the way that I was already structured. Betsy Furler 12:28 Okay, well, that said, so that was good for you. I mean, it was it was it wasn't too too much of a change. Correct. Because I do think about I know with myself and it changed everything about how I do things. And, and I deal with change fairly well, but you know, it was it was quite an adjustment, but I'd never really worked from home. I've never sat in a desk all at a desk all day every day. Until now. I've spent a lot of time driving around and Going to a lot of social events. And so, I'm learning I'm learning to, to not do that now. And so you were so you so back to your career. So you started in sales selling computers and and did you like technology and computers a lot at the time? Michael Szafron 13:22 Yeah. And because of the environment I was in my father was a computer science professor. So I was I was fortunate to have computers ever since I was probably ever since I can remember there was a computer at home, like, you know, three, four or five years old. We always had stuff and I was in computer science and, and, you know, I learned how to program when I was eight because of my cousin, my father and things. So it was a natural thing to go into. Betsy Furler 13:48 Oh, that's amazing. But you kind of you kind of fell into it too, or you went a bit against the grain to leave school and go into sales. Although it sounds like that. was a good news. Michael Szafron 14:01 No, it was a good move. And it was great in the store and following the scripts and it was a great company and they, you know, really nurture young kids. You don't make a lot of money in retail, but it really teaches you a lot of things about business. And I was in Edmonton, and then you know, within eight months, they put me into the manager training program move me down to a little town called Medicine Hat, or they stick a bunch of people and then I was there for about five months and then I was the sales manager the old left bridge feature shop store. And they brought a bunch of guys in that are actually still really good friends till now. And yeah, it was they put the best the best to try turnaround that store and we didn't built a new store. And I mean, that was really, really, really good time. I learned a lot about a lot of things at that time. And then it you know, craziest career paths. A friend of mine calls me up and said, Hey, I got this bootstrap startup. Electronic Medical software company out of Winnipeg, Manitoba, need someone for Edmonton, which is where I was from, do you want to? Do you want to move back and do that? I was like, Sure. So I made the plunge into that startup. And we did well, and there's a bunch of m&a that happened. And then finally, they got sold to the national Telecom. I'm going to give you the real Coles notes version of mine. And then, and then a friend met me for coffee and he goes, Hey, do you want to sell top drives? And I said, That's interesting. What's the top drive? And he goes, you'll figure it out. I'm moving down to Houston. And that's when I got into oilfield and started working for Tesco Corporation. Way, Way at the infancy and miscue were actually with this lady Linda sorry. Who was the founders nice. In Cobra trucking miscue. And I was definitely the oddball in the oil field at that time having worked for medical software and selling computers And, you know, I didn't know anything about the oilfield, but it was amazing how I was able to go to clients and just say, Hey, I'm the new guy. This is what I do. Tell me about it. Guys from enzyme energy really showed me what the top drive was and how drilling worked. And they, they sent me out to rigs and, and all kinds of stuff was was really interesting. And then it really started to snowball. I couldn't figure out why it took two weeks to do a quote. So I ran it down and started a whole infrastructure system for quoting that took only five minutes to create. And they promoted me to commercial manager. And then finally they asked me to move down to Houston 10 years ago, I guess almost 11 years ago, they they moved me down. And I took a global group took over global sales. I traveled the world, you know, more than 35 countries I've been to and done business with everywhere. Very, very fortunate. And then what was interesting There was I had this new boss who was a really great mentor, his name is Fernando. And every time I went to his office, he would always say, you know, being smart is not enough. And I could never figure out what that meant. Notice before I was diagnosed, it was all it was all the soft stuff. So they, they did a 360 where they interview all these people, and you know, my scores were very interesting. So, you know, empathy and understanding and all this stuff was like, Whoa, bottom, bottom basement scores, but, you know, analytical thinking creativity, a bunch of ones were off the charts. They're like, What is wrong with this kid? So they, you know, they wanted me to good manager and my management skills were really poor and I didn't know why and they didn't really know why. So they sent me to Guild, which was an amazing workshop. I had a, you know, personal coach, who's still you know, follow some of my LinkedIn stuff and comments. And I remember meeting with her for the first time and she Like, so when you go to meetings, you ever bring doughnuts? I said, Why would I ever bring doughnuts to a meeting? And she's like, how do you respond to emails? And she looked at some of my stuff, and she's like, okay, whenever someone sends you something, I need to thank them. So she gave me a whole bunch of mechanical tools that I could use them on sticky notes all the way around my monitor. Betsy Furler 18:21 Yeah, kind of more scripts. Michael Szafron 18:23 Right. It was it was more scripts to interface in business, more professional business at a higher level. So I went through that, and then they're like, man, his kid is still not figuring it out. So they did. Emotional Intelligence course. So they flew me out to Bangkok, Thailand, we did a week long course out there. And, you know, I didn't really get it, but I definitely learned how to pass the test. You know, memorize that book front to back, you take the follow up test, you know what the answers need to be and then keep going. Right, right. So then, oh, man, then it gets crazy. And then I was, you know, really recruited to a tele medical services company they wanted someone with oilfield it and medical experience. I was there. And then I worked for an Israeli MRI company that wanted to move to the US. And then finally I ended up starting a business consulting company and, and turn through that and during that phase you know, I was still I read this book called very last lap, very late diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. And realize that, you know, this was me. So I went and got a and and got diagnosed and I went and told my parents, my family and everybody and they're like, no, you're just smart. You're...
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019 - Interview with Marc Almodovar - Support for Men with ADHD
05/04/2020
019 - Interview with Marc Almodovar - Support for Men with ADHD
On this episode, I interview Marc Almodovar - ADHD Speaker, Wellness Coach and Advocate. On the podcast, Marc talks about his life and diagnosis of ADHD as a teenager. He talks about how ADHD impacted his career and educational choices . We discuss his virtual support group and the importance of support especially in relation to the stigma that some people with ADHD feel. To connect with Marc, please follow him on LinkedIn (Marc Almodovar), email him at [email protected] and his Facebook Group for men with ADHD - ADHD Men’s Support Group. You can find the book he co-authored: Our Transformative Journey – A Gift of Healing to The World https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RH834F7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_wOIQEbSR2F3GA Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com Follow me Twitter: Instagram: Facebook: LinkedIn: Website: Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:08 Hi, everybody welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. I'm so excited. You're all here to join me for another special guest. As you know for all abilities, the podcast is all about how our world works better with people with all kinds of brains that work differently and add more creativity, more ingenuity and more. And that's the way it's just the way that our world gets things done. If we all have the same brain it would be super boring. So for all abilities is dedicated to showing the world the wonderful things that people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences, autism, other forms and neuro diversity and disabilities are changing the world and making it a better place. So one of those People is Mark and Mark I'm gonna have you introduce yourself. Thank you so much for joining us today. Marc Almodovar 1:07 Hey, I'm super excited to be on and any opportunity I get to collaborate with anybody doing work in the mental health field means the world to me, so I'm pumped to be on your show. I am I am. What I do is i'm a speaker. I'm a coach and I'm a co author with an ADHD brain. And my work is dedicated to helping ADHD men with insecurities overcome them so that they can see their greatest strengths and the great leaders that they can be. I share a very similar philosophy that you have no we we are people that have a place in the world that we are people that can do amazing things. So for me, I get great fulfillment in helping men with ADHD realize that they have that to offer. Betsy Furler 1:55 Awesome well, and tell our audience and your your last night And also the name of your Facebook group. We're going to talk about it more at the end, but I want to just make sure to get that out there. So people hear that before we launch into your story. Marc Almodovar 2:10 Sure, um, my my, my mobile My full name is Mark Mundo var that can be about four weeks. Usually when people see that last name, they're like, oh, how do I say that? But I'm gonna go var is my last name. And the Facebook group that I run for ADHD men is is titled ADHD men support group were found on Instagram and Twitter for ADHD men support that's the handle. But yeah, ADHD men support group is the Facebook group that I run. Betsy Furler 2:36 Awesome. nice, easy name. Marc Almodovar 2:38 Yeah, super, super easy, super convenient. Um, I I have some familiarity with the ADHD audience and i what i what I've learned in the past year and a half is that, um, is the more simple the better. Unknown Speaker 2:52 Yeah, yeah. Unknown Speaker 2:54 Yeah. Well, Betsy Furler 2:56 so thanks again for being here. And I would love to hear little bit about what you were like growing up. So what were you like as a little boy in your family and in school? Marc Almodovar 3:07 Yeah. So um, I pretty much knew my entire life that I was somebody who was a little bit different. I mean, going all the way back to like being like three, four years old and and learning how to tie my shoes. I was somebody who I remember most kids like learning almost pretty much right away. But it was something for me that I kind of struggled to pick up on. And if you look back at my years and kindergarten early years, and like first grade, second grade, most of my teachers would actually report that I wasn't Contrary to popular belief that what we think of ADHD always is, I actually wasn't this kid who was super hyper hyperactive and impulsive and yelling in class and stuff. I was actually very quiet in class. My teachers would describe me as somebody who was there, but never really there. If that makes any sense. I was typically spending a lot of my time mind wandering on almost little to to no attention given to the class that was going on. And it's just clear like if even if you look at like a lot of the pictures that my, my dad had captured me as a child, I'm almost never looking directly into the camera and I'm always kind of found in my own world. So I'm somebody who was essentially the the mind wander. The interesting thing though, is that there was this there was a dichotomy there that whenever something did manage to capture my interest, I wasn't just focused, you know, it was an above and beyond hyper focus type of thing. I'm very, very passionate. So for example, like my childhood my interest was Batman. So I was I was pretty much the kid who not only watched it Yeah. episodes been new all the behind the scenes directors and everything like that. So it was very interesting dichotomy with me. To make us make a long story short, I basically lived up until I was I was 16 without a name for my thing as we as we like to say. So at the age of 16, I was a junior in high school and I was somebody who was also struggling with severe depression, I had a very high amount of anxiety. And this year in school, my mother had received a phone call that no parent wants to receive from my guidance counselor at the time, basically letting her know that I was most likely not going to be able to make it to the next grade. And my mother as many parents reacted was was was devastated by this and, um, you know, she is she she felt very insecure about her own parenting, a lot of things that a lot of the struggles that parents are baby parents with ADHD kids go through. And that moment for me was a time where I kind of I talked to my mom I was like, hey, like there's something something a little bit different about me here. You know, like I'm I'm struggling I am struggling with my mental health socially. And I think that I need some help. And her being the amazing mother she is she went out and got me the support that I needed and I started seeing a psychiatrist and took all the different tests and voila, I was diagnosed with an inattentive ADHD well mostly inattentive, ADHD brain there is a little bit of hyperactivity and fidgeting and stuff like that going on. But I was diagnosed with a mostly inattentive ADHD brain and it was kind of like a, an amazing moment for me because it was first my first time I have a sense of self awareness, you know. So Betsy Furler 7:00 Do you How did you do academically in school when you were younger? Marc Almodovar 7:04 So academically yeah so my I was kind of just I'm just most like one my first and second grade I was like like a BC student and never really I can't recall a time or ever made straight A's I school was never something that came naturally for me I remember like poor I having poor handwriting. As I stated earlier like and attentiveness in class definitely disorganization I mean, my desk was typically the messiest of all Betsy Furler 7:39 right, right these Marc Almodovar 7:40 are these are some of the things that that stand out for me academically and then and then come High School. That's when I I did pretty pretty poorly in school I would say. Because again, my my, my my interest in and my my, my intention just was not was not there. You know, as I as I grew older, I started showing up and things like, time management was definitely an obstacle for me was not was not so good. But, um, yeah, these are some of the things that that really stand out in my own academic performance. Betsy Furler 8:17 Yeah, and I think teenagers they kind of have a lack of often have a lack of motivation about academics anyway, they don't see the point of learning and all of this that isn't relevant relevant to them. And then if you have that in attentiveness as well, I think it can really snowball. I'm on top of each other and make a huge problem. And did your family was in your family? Were you expected to go to college? What was the expectation around that around higher education? Marc Almodovar 8:50 Yeah, so so so college was definitely expected. Kind of like a like a typical thing where you know, you're you're only seen And in a positive light in your career path if you're going the route of either becoming a doctor or a lawyer or going to school like Harvard and things like that, so on Yeah, I mean, there was definitely some definitely a sense of, I guess, disappointment when people found out though that was that was not wrapped and I had interest in going and the people I looked up to were just a little bit different than what we, you know, what we consider as a successful person in our society. So, yeah, there was definitely a lot of, I guess, social pressure from a lot of different family members saying that I should, should go this route, but there was something intuitively there that I just knew that it just wasn't for me. Right. It wasn't for me and and I, I mean, I looked at the people that I grew up with, and that I have a friend that was friends with, I mean, they were people with different interests. To me, there were people with different strains. When I. So to me, it only makes sense that my path would be different as well. You know, and and that's one thing that I, I really try to push as an advocate, you know, is recognizing that individuality is a thing. It's, you know, Betsy Furler 10:17 we don't all need to go to college, and especially, we don't all need to get a college when we're 18 or 19. And, you know, most kids don't have any idea what they want to do really, at age even if they think they do. Um, I think there are a lot of people out there and careers that they don't even like because they chose that career basically, when they were a teenager, but I really, I'm really impressed with people who can kind of go against that kind of social pressure and say, You know what, this isn't for me, I need to do something. Something else I know it's I know, it's hard and I know it's hard on families when parents haven't expectation that they've had, you know, since the baby was born maybe even before, and it ends up being their friend, but I think it, it's good. Marc Almodovar 11:10 It takes it takes serious bravery and and also to me It takes perspective. You know, like when you're when you're 85 years old, like do you? Do you really want to look back at your life and say that you followed someone else's dream for you? Or do you want to look back through your life saying that I did what was true to my heart, and I stood for what I believed in, and I at least I know, in my case, it's definitely the ladder. Betsy Furler 11:38 Right, right. And there's always you know, I think the other thing is that you don't have to go off to college. I am a person who did go off to college at 18. And I've loved my college experience, and for the academics kind of but more for the social life really, if I'm honest, and you know, I kind of grew up. I grew up there. That's where I became And adults because I kind of slowly had to take care of myself. But, you know, for people who for many people, you know, even if they want to pursue a higher ed degree, they can do it later. It's not It's not something that has to be done at 18. As we mature, our brains are different and sometimes we can we can attend at a later age to something that's completely not interesting when we were younger. So what did you do right after high school so I guess you you ended up getting diagnosed, and he said, that was a huge relief, and you could finally understand yourself. So talk a little bit about how the diagnosis made a difference at the end of high school and then what you went on onto after that? Marc Almodovar 12:50 Yeah, so the diagnosis made it made a big difference. Largely because it really gave me a sense of hope and kind of through a lot of the self shame I was carrying out the window. And I learned for the first time about like how my brain operated and basically the fact that I knew that there was a name for my thing basically led me to say like, okay, like there are some things that I can do about this and there are there are ways that I can get to the other side. So to make a long story short, so I was actually able to graduate high school on time. It was kind of like a barely type of thing. I just barely made it and I'm having treatment for my ADHD at the time was was definitely very helpful. But I will say that as soon as I graduated high school I was I was ready to to get out. I was Yeah, I was I was not somebody who was thinking about college right away. I was I was what I was thinking about is like, how can I what can What can I do to to really learn about myself and and and To figure out what it means to I guess to prioritize my own well being so I had gotten a retail job right after high school and spent a lot of time there I grew within that company. I dedicated a lot of my own time to investing and my personal well being starting attending, like mindfulness classes, studied meditation, I'm looking into my own health and well being with diet and exercise and really changed a lot about my own lifestyle, learn about myself, and then about I would say, maybe like four years after that, I wanted to look at how can I help other people with similar issues as what I had in the past so I went to the the Institute for integrative nutrition I studied coaching skills, holistic health, and I really learned a lot about how I can reach other people with similar brains. And yeah, I really went my own path here and looking back, no regrets whatsoever, you know? Because I it's something that I get great fulfillment isn't an easy path to take. I don't I wouldn't say so. But I think it's it's the path worth taking and and the path that allows me to to wake up with, again, a sense of fulfillment, a sense of knowing that I'm doing what is true to my heart, for lack of a better term, so Unknown Speaker 15:38 dang. Right. So Betsy Furler 15:40 tell us a little bit about your Facebook group for men. Marc Almodovar 15:45 Yeah, so so about a year and a half ago, I started dedicating all of my social media work which is which is kind of just like positivity and motivation, just general stuff like that. Dedicated all of my work to speaking to adults with ADHD and it changed my life forever. I mean, I I was connecting with a lot of people who relate a lot to me. Some people started messaging me saying that they felt very alone. And they had discovered my work. And there was a sense of community for the first time. So I got a really great filament from doing that. And what I started to notice is that a lot of men with ADHD were messaging me saying that they really, really struggled to and they relate to a lot of the different obstacles that I had growing up that I talked about earlier. So I started seeing that trend and noticing that, um, while there were a lot of men diagnosed with ADHD, so few of them were willing to talk about their own personal struggles publicly. So I went on and I created a free support group for ADHD men It started off as a Facebook thing and now it's gotten to a point point where I now co host a a bi weekly zoom meetup. I'm online with my with my good friend john Hazelwood who's known as at St. john john on Instagram. But yeah, it's it's basically a thing where we are eliminating judgment and we are allowing for space for connection and the motivation and what I think is a gift not to be underestimated. Listen, you know, a lot of men with ADHD are struggling during this time of social distancing and everything. I'm feeling understood. This is something that is a really, really great gift and something that we try to offer offer free within this ADHD support group. So Betsy Furler 17:49 what do you what do you think the biggest issues are that men with ADHD have a like both at work and then in relationships? Unknown Speaker 17:59 So So Betsy Furler 18:00 like on your, from your group of people like what do you see as being the common the common issues, Marc Almodovar 18:07 I would say ownership and pride of their, their brain and the way that they operate. I think that within the workplace, we have great fears of doing things like seeking accommodations or talking about our symptoms and saying that something is a little bit uneasy for us. I think due to the fact that there's a lot of stigma that goes on with men growing up that we're, we're kind of taught that we're supposed to be, um, this very, like, tough all the time individual like has no problems whatsoever is on top of everything. And I think that we struggle a lot with admitting that we struggle, you know, that that is that is really the big thing here. So I'm kind of like Learning to to talk about that is is is one of the best things that we can we can give ourselves here, you know, and it's a serious issue we should we should work with managed properly. You know, we feel that we feel the shame, talking about our own personal personal obstacles and it's something that I'm looking to really put an on to. As far as Betsy Furler 19:30 as far as I think, I think that understanding of how other people think and that other people think differently. Yeah. It's It's vital for both personal success and productivity as well as working with other people, whether it's in the workplace or in a personal relationship. Marc Almodovar 19:50 Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And then in personal relationships, yeah. Some common obstacles with men with ADHD are often Well, well, disorganization. Can can be something that that can really annoy our partners. There are there's research out there suggesting that adults with ADHD tend to unfortunately have higher divorce rates when they live with their brain, I guess on navigated, but higher divorce rates then what we call the neurotypical person. And this largely has to do with things like disorganization, impulsivity, a lot of men with ADHD struggle with saying things that they don't exactly mean. Right. Right. You definitely. And definitely, I noticed a certain tone there with the writing. But but but maintaining a career is a struggle, and these are all things that that do have an effect on relationships. And the good news is too is that we don't have to let that be our lives. You know that that this can be something Right. these are these are things that we can learn to tackle and learn to get on the other side of and it's an easy journey. Absolutely. But it's the journey we're taking. And as you have mentioned to me when we talk to you know, there are so many success examples of people with ADHD and there's no reason why we men with ADHD can't be that as well. Betsy Furler 21:23 Right and really use it as a superpower because there's so many things about ADHD that make people very successful. And we also talked earlier about how it's so common for an entrepreneur or someone who's an investor. Yeah, CEOs of companies are very frequently have ADHD. So it can also be the traits of ADHD can be so positive. If you can learn how to manage the negativity of it as...
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018 - Stephanie Burch - Greater Living With A Different Brain
04/27/2020
018 - Stephanie Burch - Greater Living With A Different Brain
For All Abilities – The Podcast Episode Eighteen - Stephanie Robertson In this episode, I interview Stephanie Robertson. We discuss the challenge of her diagnosis of OCD as a very young child and how she has navigated school and work with the diagnosis. To connect with Stephanie, please go follow her on LinkedIn (Stephanie Robertson). Please subscribe to For All Abilities – The Podcast! Please follow me on Instagram @forallabilities, LinkedIn (Betsy Furler) and on Facebook (For All Abilities). Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Betsy Furler 0:05 Welcome to for all abilities, the podcasts. This is your host, Betsy Furler. The aim of this podcast is to highlight the amazing things people with ADHD, dyslexia, learning differences and autism are doing to improve our world. Have a listen to for all abilities, the podcast, and please subscribe on whatever podcast app you're listening to us on. Stephanie Robertson 0:34 Hey, Stephanie, welcome to the for all abilities podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today. Hi. So I'm gonna have you introduce yourself to my audience. And just tell us a little tell us your full name and a little bit about yourself? Sure, my name is Stephanie Robertson. I am 36 years old. I'm a native officer. And I, which we like to say around here is pretty rare. I work for Dell Technologies. I'm in channel sales. So I do business to business through third party value added resources, and it's a little complex, definitely a little stressful. We like to call it the Dell personality. But it's been really good for me and I'm interested to see where you know where it's gonna go in my life. Awesome. Well, we connected because we were in the same sorority in college, but a few years apart, we will Domini and so we connected because of that. And we were in the best already Kappa Gamma Chi and Austin college. And so we I was I had posted that I'm watching this podcast for all abilities and you had volunteered to be a guest I'm super excited, because you have been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD. And yeah, I am so excited to hear about how that's affected you throughout your life. So why don't we first start with childhood? And I know you were, you had to have been successful at some point in school because our college is pretty hard to get into. So anyway, so tell me what you were like as a child and kind of how the diagnosis came about and, and how your OCD affected you when you were in school. Yeah, so I think the earliest thing that I really remember related to like OCD and just kind of like finding out about it. My grandparents lived abroad. And so they were living in the south of France, and I was about three or four years old. Maybe just Before my fourth birthday, when my grandmother passed away suddenly, and my parents, there was a big push at the time to be very honest with your children. And so my parents, in the interest of being very honest with their children answered all of my questions about death. very honest. And so, you know, when I, when I would ask things like, well, will we all die? Will you die? Will she die? Will I die? Then the answer to that was yes. And they would say things like, but not for a long time. And I think that that's really shaped a lot of my own parenting, for obvious reasons, but part of it was because when I was four years old, I couldn't tell time. And so a long time for me was 30 minutes in the way that I measured. That was a Flintstone. I was like, yeah, yeah. And so for me, you know, one or two episodes of Flintstones or two to Flintstones was a long time. So that was kind of one of the first times that I really then it came to my parents notice that maybe I thought a little differently or that maybe I had, you know, issues working through other stuff differently than other kids did. And so that started kind of coming out a little bit more after she passed and the funeral and my other grandmother moved in with us for some time and she had a lot of issues around food she was big into like macrobiotics and all of the healthy stuff way before it was cool, if you know what I mean. Yeah. And so like, we weren't allowed to shop on the inside of the grocery store. We could only buy things right in the wall, like the outside walls. We had no sugar cereals in the house because those are poison and all that and you know, my little young brain was just soaking all of that up. And so what was healthy to others became really very unhealthy to me and So my parents called the school and they said, you know, she eating at school because she's not eating at home. And of course, that's a red flag and this, this was in 1989. So OCD wasn't really a thing in 1989 like, not even like a social circle, okay. Oh, you know, people are like, Oh, my, my OCD is kicking up, which is a different topic to me now. But like that wasn't even a thing then people didn't add was saying that. And so to my school, it just panicked them. And so of course they call Child Protective Services. Wow. Because they were like, Why? Why doesn't your daughter want to eat at home? Oh, she thinks he's being poisoned. Cool. Why does your daughter think that that you're poisoning her? So like an active services, came into our lives and interviewed our entire family and me and followed us around for weeks before they realized that no, my parents were not actually doing anything neglectful or abusive. That really what I needed was therapy and about what was going on in my head and, you know, kind of set the stage for how does your child think differently? And luckily, they did that I got a counselor, a play counselor, and I think this all went on from about the ages from five to seven, trying to figure out what was going on. And it took me years to identify, oh, how about your parents are still scarred by that whole CPS? Oh. My mom still tells the story and just talks about, you know, just talks about like, being in the therapists office and, you know, the big test today or the big interview day when when CPS came to interview me, and that when they walked back into the office, I guess I'd hidden like, I'd played hide or seek or something so I was little over and my mom didn't see me in the office and she just about lost it like she thought the baby okay. What Yeah, I have to bust through? Ah ha, oh my goodness. Yeah. So we still talk about that. But um, that was kind of the diagnosis and like the recognition and like I said it took, it took a couple of years to identify it and to figure out what do you do with that? Right and sounds like you were a really, really bright child too, which probably made it all worse because you were able to find more information and remember that information and, and yeah, then you're a little brain was just taking that information and doing all sorts of things. Yes, I was reading voraciously from an early age. I mean, by seven years old, I was reading Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Uh huh. And, you know, I mean, like I said, my grandparents lived abroad. So I had a concept of the world and know that it's more than just driving distance from a young guy. So, so I did, I just took in all kinds of information all the time and tried to find places for it. And it didn't always work out. Because at that age again, you don't, you may have a concept of the world but it's not. It's not the concept of the world, right? Where you're trying to filter it in and make a structure. It was so interesting to me when I had so as you know, my 21 year old son is medically come very medically complex. And he's also super, super bright. And I it was so interesting when he was little how he would make sense of things in the world. Because he was so bright and he knew so much for his age, like he had so many he's always had so much knowledge, but he didn't have all the knowledge, right. So he would, he would move things around in such interesting ways. Like I remember in I think in first grade, he said, Oh, so and so is sick, she's been home. She hasn't been In school for three days, and then he said, I wonder what hospital she's in? And I was like, oh, oh, you think if you're sick, you're in the hospital because that's what his life that's what's his reality. Right. I was like, No, baby. Most people don't have to go to a hospital. Other than that, that, you know. Anyway, yeah, it's so interesting how young children process information and then layers of other issues and your own unique brain structure makes it even more interesting. So how did you do? Were you a good student? Were you over overly over over thinker and all of that kind of type of student? I'm definitely definitely an over thinker. You know, I think one of the things that I it took me a long time to place and to figure out what the OCD is that it makes you very much an all or nothing kind A person. And so in elementary and middle school and you know, the early years of high school, it meant All right, all right, A's or the world is ending. All homework is turned in, or the world is ending, I think I was in fourth grade. And I went to the nurse's office and I was just sick, I was ready to throw up. It was horrible, because I couldn't find my reading books. And I knew that I had put them in my Cubby, but couldn't find them. And I guess somebody had moved them or something from one desk to another. And so I just, I was so anxious about getting in trouble and not in you know, being the bad kid that didn't add them. And, you know, what would happen? I don't even know what would have happened in my head. Right, you know, and that was just, you didn't have to have a consequence in my head. It was just that there could be a consequence. Right. And, you know, I mean, I made myself sick enough to go to the nurse and I didn't have a fever. So finally, they sent me Back to the classroom after I had, you know, wasted enough time that wasn't reading time anymore. Hmm. And hopefully I would not get busted for not having these books. And then when I got back to the classroom, my teacher was like, oh, Stephanie, your books were on this desk. So we went ahead and put them in your cubby for you. I'm glad you're feeling better. Wow, that was it. So much of my school life was like that it was if you're going to win, first place, you participate. If you're going to do this, then then you can compete then you can do these things. So many nights, late nights up. many weeks and weeks and weeks of studying and things like that. And if there was going to be a win, or something like I've done, I would be in it. And then if at some point, I were to realize that that wasn't going to happen, then it was just out completely out of the money. Yes, absolutely. 100% and I learned I learned how to stop competing and things to avoid Like thinking shopping and be interested in some of the things to avoid that disappointment. Wow. So that must have been really impactful on what classes you chose and what extracurriculars you chose? Unknown Speaker 12:18 Oh gosh, yes. Stephanie Robertson 12:20 You know, I volunteer for the OSU Humane Society when I was 13 years old. And I was the youngest volunteer that they had ever allowed. And I loved it. I got to volunteer in the clinic with the veterinarians and do like medical things. When it was great. And I was like, I'm going to be a vet, and it's gonna be fabulous. And then my freshman year of high school, I failed algebra. And my sophomore year of high school, I had to retake algebra, and I still barely passed it. And then I heard that algebra to follow that. If you wanted to be a veterinarian that you had to take, Chem, and biology and all of these things that have to do with science and math, and I had failed it one time. So obviously, I was not good at math. And I obviously could not go into the sciences and definitely could not be a veterinarian. Wow. And it totally changed the way that I looked at school all of a sudden it was now you're gonna look at the arts and now you're gonna look at the soft sciences and part of the part of the girls can't do that part of the you can't write up part of that this is just not how your brain thinks. And I turned it off for years. And it was like a mental block just can't do that. And so, you know, I mean, in college, I think my degree is not I think it's in I know it's in political science and psychology that the audience that don't know, we went to Stephen and I both went to a liberal arts college and I was a psychology sociology major with a minor in religion. And I only took statistics I was the only math I took in college and I don't think I took any science. I took sat three times and eat on our professor finally looked at me and he was like, you need this to graduate, right? And I was like, Yeah, I do. He graded one question on my final. And he looked at me like, how did you get this answer? And I was like, I, I didn't know how to do that one. So I made it up. And this is how I did it. He was like, Yeah, I don't know how you got the right answer. But it's right. So yay. Yeah, I just I couldn't science. I couldn't math and I couldn't science for years and years and years all the way through college. And it probably didn't, probably didn't overcome that mental block towards math and finances and science and any of that until maybe five or six years ago. So that Unknown Speaker 14:45 2030s Stephanie Robertson 14:46 now you're working for a tech company, computer company, so you're aware. I mean, even if your job isn't sciency mathy techie, every one around you is science a mathy type Do people tell us how you got there? Well, you know, I, when I graduated from Austin college, I wanted to go out and change the world. And you know, I think that's one of the wonderful things about that school is it really encouraged us to encourage us to think big. And it was really hard to think big, and get paid very little. My first few years out of college and I worked in nonprofit and I did all of these things. And at one point, and I worked for a wonderful company called amantha, pet, maybe low cost spay neuter, and and preventive care for cats and dogs. And it was a really wonderful experience but it also I kind of reached a point where I'd I'd plateaued like I wasn't going to move forward without more or deeper experience or more education or just just something more i'd reached kind of as far as I could get at that stage and I didn't want to stay at that stage for another you know, three to five years getting paid, think at the time it was like $14 an hour. And I couldn't afford a new car. And I, you know, my car was breaking down, I lived as close as I could, to the area where we served, which was southeast Austin, where there are bars on most of the windows. I lived as close as I could do that without having bars on my windows. And you know, I got married, and we were looking at a family and all of a sudden, I was like, I can't, I can't pay back my student loans on this. I can't read the family on this. I can't do all of these things. So I need to make a change, whether it's go get more school or go get different experience or whatever the case is, I need to make a change. And right. My husband was very techie. Interestingly enough, he also worked for Dell at the time, but he's very computer techie engineering. He and my brother in law kept saying, Jeff, you need to come to Dell, you need to come to Dell. And so one day we were out to lunch, he is trying to convince Jeff Do you need to come to go and I just looked it up. Like why don't you don't want me back, I can learn how to sell computer will be fine. And literally like they basically had to teach me how to turn it on. And Wow, what's what's in the guts of it and you're going to have these conversations with people about their, their, you know, cloud strategy and servers and their storage and on prem or off Prem or, or hyper converged and all these things that I was like, I don't even know what that is. I can tell you the difference between a laptop and a desktop and after that you pretty much got me and Ernie, listen to music while you're smart, you'll learn and so I was five months pregnant with our second. I was paying still paying for insurance at the time because neither of our jobs provided it. And I went as a contracting agent temp to perm to Dell. And I was like, I've got five months to get myself a permanent job and I'm telling you I applied myself like I never have and I learned That I can learn science and I can learn technology and I can learn numbers and I can do it in a crunch. So, you know, it kind of just, it took that it took that like gut punch moment like, you know, you don't have a choice to fail here. You don't have that luxury of not trying and you don't have the luxury of not winning. You have to do it. Right. Right. Wow, that was a bill, that was a big change for you. And how do you how do you think your CD affected you both negatively and positively in that change? Because that's a that was obviously a major change in your career and the trajectory of your life in general. Yeah, definitely. You know, Dell is it's a really interesting place. I never thought that I would find myself in corporate America. Prior to Dell, I never worked anywhere that had more than 50 employees at my location. Even with my large companies, most of them didn't have more than 50 employees, people And going in there the first time, it was so overwhelming, I just went into building two of the seven in Round Rock, which is one of, you know, the three bases in Texas and horses global company. And so I just walked in there and I was like, Oh my god, this is just this building alone to the city. And it was so overwhelming. But they're also really, really, really inclusive. And they give you the resources that you need, they give you you know, the benefits and the time. And when you talk to your managers, they care to learn about you and what helps drive you. And so I found it to be just a really welcoming and inclusive place. And I learned how to use those weird quirks about myself as strengths. So I took Strengths Finder, for the first time while I was at amantha patent, I took it again, while I've been at Bethel and kind of looked at what are some of the consistent strengths and you know, music all kinds of self You know, understanding tests and evaluations and stuff. But one of one of my strengths is achiever. And I guess that basically, I'm really good at picking goals. And then it's followed by the other strength of strategy. So I'm really good at picking goals and...
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017 - Mark Palmer - Living and Working with Autism During COVID 19
04/20/2020
017 - Mark Palmer - Living and Working with Autism During COVID 19
On this episode, I interview Mark Palmer - writer. On the podcast, Mark talks about his life and later in life diagnosis of Autism, mental health challenges and how he works with the good and bad aspects of Autism. We discuss his career and working with Autism during COVID19 To connect with Mark, please follow him on LinkedIn (Mark Palmer), email him at and check out his professional writing services at . Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:03 Hi, everybody, welcome back to for all abilities, the podcast. I'm so glad you're all here with me to learn about yet another person who is living a great life with a brain that works a little bit differently than others. And as I think I've convinced everybody who's listening to this podcast so far, we all are so valuable and our value is really in our differences. And I believe our differences are also our strengths. So today, our special guest is Mark Palmer. And he is going to tell us a little bit about himself. Welcome, Mark. Mark Palmer 0:43 Thank you. Thanks. It's lovely to be here. Thanks. Betsy Furler 0:45 Yes, I am so glad you're here. So as we're recording this, we are all pretty much on some sort of lockdown for COVID-19. And so we've we've all had our work life sweet. step a little bit, but I'm really happy you were able to join me. And I would love for you just to introduce yourself first and then we'll, we'll hear more about your life. Mark Palmer 1:10 Okay, so my name is Mark Palmer and I live in Manchester in England, which is probably best known puts football teams and it's raining, although actually it's quite sunny at the moment. I'm 50 years old and I'm autistic. I was only diagnosed as autistic. Very few years ago, three or four years ago, I've always struggled with my mental health. I also have depression and anxiety. I worked for 30 years in a public sector administration role. I have five children and I remarried six months ago a couple of days ago to my lovely wife, Sue, who is a special needs teaching assistant by trade, which means I basically married somebody professionally trained to deal with me. Betsy Furler 1:57 That's my way to go. That is perfect. And so tell us a little bit about what you were like as a child. So I guess you were not diagnosed as a child. And so tell us a little bit about what you were like as a little boy. Mark Palmer 2:13 Okay, well, I like to say I'm so old that as a little boy, autism hadn't really been invented yet. But I was certainly different. I certainly wasn't diagnosed. I didn't even remember hearing the word autism. I had a lot of trouble growing up at school. Partly and it all makes much more sense in retrospect. Now, now I'm autistic. We moved around a lot. My dad kept changing his job. So when you're struggling to make friends anyway, and then every year or two, you move to a new school, it gets very, very difficult. So I found it very, very hard to make friends. I was definitely the weird, geeky kid in the class. I was always good at the academics, but I really struggled socially. And I was bullied an awful lot which hurt me and damaged me quite a bit. school I went to I ended up getting bullied right through up to secondary school. So, or high school, I guess you'd call it so, yeah, my parents were great. They were lovely, very supportive. couldn't have asked for better parents. But my childhood was very, very difficult. They didn't understand how I was. The way I was that they struggled with me at times. They talked about boarding school because I just couldn't cope at school. I was being naughty. I was being difficult. And it was really because I didn't understand what was going on around me and those around me didn't understand me. Betsy Furler 3:34 Did you? They did well academically. Did you make good grades or you just you you knew you're you're a smart person. Clearly, but did you make good grades? Or did you struggle with that as well? Mark Palmer 3:48 No, I always did very well in the written work, particularly maths and science. That was always my thing, right? I struggled a bit with languages but maths and science. I was always right there at the top. Betsy Furler 4:00 That's that's a typical profile I think of people who are autistic. Mark Palmer 4:05 Yes. Betsy Furler 4:06 Did you What difference Do you think it would have made had you had a diagnosis as a child Mark Palmer 4:12 I'd like to think they taught me in a different way accepted that I needed different accommodations and so on. Not constantly held it against me that I I really struggled socially and to get on with the other children. And it's a good question i To be honest, I've not really thought about that because what's done is done. But I see now my wife is working with autistic children that she teaches and it is just a world away from what I had where I was just in the class and you just got on with it and it you went along with it all that was it like it Olympics so it's um, it wouldn't make a huge difference have I haven't been recognized that accommodated but that just didn't happen then. Betsy Furler 4:52 What about for your own mental health? Do you think that had you known younger, that you had autism with that have changed the way you your self perception? Mark Palmer 5:04 Absolutely, absolutely. And because I always knew I was different, and I couldn't understand why am I spent years and years, thinking it was obviously something I was doing and choosing to do, but I just couldn't seem to stop it. And we'll come obviously forward later. But when I first the first time I spoke to professional who says yes, I think you're autistic. I cried. Unknown Speaker 5:25 Because it was a relief Mark Palmer 5:26 from it. It's such a relief. Betsy Furler 5:29 Yeah, that's what I've heard from other people too. So let's go on with school. So you graduated and then went on to university? Yes. Was that an improvement? Or how did how did University go for you? Mark Palmer 5:44 Again, university was was was tough at times. Because again, I really get along with people and the university. I went to you all lived sort of on campus, the first year in student accommodation. And then you had to Get into groups to rent a house together for the second year and they've off campus and I approached the people I'd be hanging out with all year who I thought were my friends and was basically told to get lost we don't want to live with you. And so they were never really my friends at all, they just kind of let me tag along because I lived on the same corredor so I still found making friends on the social side extremely difficult and looking back that the the upshot of that is is that I didn't really make the most of those University College days where you're supposed to have a you know, really good time and grow up and find yourself right all the time feeling miserable. Betsy Furler 6:37 That's an that's an interesting point about the housing because I think that's something that people take for granted that you're just going to self organize yourself into a group of friends to live in a house with and, and I'm sure people struggle with that all the time. And it has to take a huge hit on your self esteem. Mark Palmer 7:02 It did, I ended up putting a notice out from an OT school saying, Look, I'm desperately looking for some people to live with, and coming to basically accept the first offer I got, which was from a group of other misfits To put it bluntly, really, there were nice guys. Right? But they weren't exactly sort of, you know, life and soul of the party times we were all a bit strange different in our own ways. And so it was a slightly bizarre year. But yeah, I found people in the end, but it was a very, very uncomfortable, unpleasant experience. And I felt very much rejected and I wanted for a long period. Betsy Furler 7:37 Yeah, yeah, that I think that's something for people to keep in mind, especially if there are parents listening who have kids who will be going off to college or university. So what did you major in? Mark Palmer 7:49 I studied mass. Betsy Furler 7:51 Okay, so you probably, you probably had some other people who thought the same way you did in your math classes. Mark Palmer 8:00 I suspect I did, but that the way the university worked was you didn't really associate a great deal with the other people in your classes because you'd see them in lectures and then all go your separate ways it was much more significant. When you said that was the people you spent time with, I certainly wasn't gonna start making friends with strangers because I've never been able to do that. But when you're sharing a kitchen and a common room and so on with another seven or eight people, Unknown Speaker 8:25 by inevitably Mark Palmer 8:26 end up getting to know them a bit, but they will from different courses. I'm sure there were other people in the group that were autistic looking back and would have been a bit different than I would have got along with brilliantly Had I known them. But remember people on the course and they just didn't meet the right people, I guess. Betsy Furler 8:43 There was a large university. Mark Palmer 8:46 It was it was known for maths and so the maths class was very, very big. I studied some other things as well. One of the attractions of the course was you only had to do maths half the time. So slightly ironically, looking back I spent a lot of money I'm studying psychology. Unknown Speaker 9:02 Oh, and you enjoy that. Mark Palmer 9:04 I enjoyed that very much. Yes. But to me at that time, I didn't relate it to anything to do with myself. Betsy Furler 9:10 Right, right. I, I was a psychology, sociology double major and the head of my minors and religion. And I was fascinated by all of that as well. Not so much good at math. I mean, I, I thought I wasn't good at math. Now, I've discovered I actually probably was good at math. But anyway, you know, we're all different. We all have our strengths, right? Mark Palmer 9:33 Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Betsy Furler 9:36 So did you go on to graduate school or what did you do after university or go into the workplace? Mark Palmer 9:41 Yes, I left University and went straight into the workplace. I went to university in a town called Coventry, which is in the Midlands in England, and then I moved to London to start work for the government. And just sort of in my final term at university, I met the lady who went on to the mind My first wife and the mother of my children. So she also moved down to London to be a teacher. So we moved down together and got married after a year in London. Betsy Furler 10:10 And are you in the same love? Probably not exactly the same job. But have you had to apply for jobs since that first job? Or did you go into government work and then continue on with that? Mark Palmer 10:22 I've continued in government work for 30 years, but I've applied to apply repeatedly for internal posts to move to different areas to get promotions and so on. Yes. Betsy Furler 10:32 Okay. So tell us about how that processes are you comfortable with interviews, meaner? You're doing an amazing job today and even when we first got on the phone, but I wonder when you were younger? How did you cope with the interview job? Yeah, job interview job application process. Mark Palmer 10:51 It was a nightmare. At some of the jobs I went for, were like sort of accelerated promotion things where you would Do some written tests. Now the written tests would be things like what's the next in this sequence and number problems and things like that. I do those things for fun, right? Yeah. So I'd always get 90% of those. And then then I'd have an interview. And I'd be i'd fail. Because I've barely passed an interview in my life as far as I can remember, but it's an absolute disaster. putting me in a room and telling me to talk about myself with three complete strangers is just about my worst nightmare. Right? You have always been hugely, hugely difficult. And it's something I'm now trying to sort of get changed and make a better pass about. But getting on has been horrible. I've applied for just about every development scheme that my employer runs, and there are lots of them. And I've failed every one Usually, the interview my my kind of greatest achievement in that was I went to one that had a full two days of selection tests, passed all of those and still got rejected by the 45 minute interview at the end. Unknown Speaker 11:54 Wow. Betsy Furler 11:57 Yeah, I think that our interview process in particular Killer has, there's a lot of room for change and growth in that in. You know, just because somebody has a really good interview doesn't mean they're going to be good at the job. And vice Mark Palmer 12:13 versa. Yes, and I am. It's a point I keep making because even as recently as a couple of years ago, I went to an interview I was diagnosed by then I said, I'm autistic, I need reasonable adjustments. I'm awful at interviews. And the reasonable adjustments I got when I queried it afterwards was well, we asked you if you're okay at the beginning. Unknown Speaker 12:31 That was it. Wow. Betsy Furler 12:35 Now do you on your job. Tell us about your job and how you What do you think you do different on the job that you that a neurotypical person might not do? Mark Palmer 12:48 The main thing I think I do is I see things from different angles. I have lots of different ideas, many of which like a lot of us overcome that have to be dropped immediately because every day in us, but I do seem to find solutions to problems that don't occur to other people. A lot of my work has to do with legal issues. I'm not a lawyer, but we're in the business of maintaining laws making new laws and things like that. And there are lots of sort of minute shy in different ways of doing things. And several times in my career, I found something hidden in the small print, as it were, that let us do something a different way that sold quite a big problem that nobody else had spotted. I just see two seem to see things that many other people don't see. But equally, I miss things that are completely obvious to other people. So it's a blessing and a curse, as these things are double sided. But yes, my main asset at work is my creativity and problem solving. Betsy Furler 13:44 And I think that's something that a lot of people don't understand about autism is so many people who are autistic, are very, very creative in either their thought process or their ability to do art or painting. put things together in a very unusual but extremely pleasing way. And I think that is something that employers often miss that creativity. Mark Palmer 14:13 Absolutely. And how do you get that across in an interview? Betsy Furler 14:17 Exactly, Mark Palmer 14:18 you can't. So my strongest point I can't put across in an interview, but it exposes my weakest ones immediately. Because the problems, the major problem I have at work is anything interpersonal. And so meetings have always been an absolute nightmare for me. And I know now it's become like a standing joke. I'm in a very, very supportive team that embraces differences now and so on embraces individuality. And it's become just kind of a running joke that don't invite me to a meeting because I hate them. And I'd like to say to people, I've been here 30 years, I've been to three years, four meetings, Betsy Furler 14:49 right? I think all of us have, but some of us like people like me who I'm like a 97 on the scale of extraversion from zero to 100 right? Super extroverted. So I'm happy to, like just chat with anybody about anything, you know, I'm one of those people. And, you know, some of us, you know, think that meetings are useless, but we love to chat. So we we go anyway. So, but what a waste of time to, especially for someone who like you doesn't get anything out of the meeting, you know, you're, you're not, it's not helpful to you at all. So I'm glad you're on a team that's really supportive. I think that the more that employers can get teams of people together, who work all together who all think differently and who all value and respect those differences, you know, the better our world will be and I love it when I hear about someone who has a team who is working on a team that at least you feel like you have the respected the other people Mark Palmer 15:56 are do it's a fabulous team at the moment I joined it quite badly. I think just yet they can get another big promotion, and finally got one. And they just did. It's the teenagers that lead the team are on a job share and they couldn't be more embracing of diversity. And that's all I've ever wanted. I don't claim to be any better than anybody else. I'm just different. Betsy Furler 16:18 Right? Right. Exactly. And did they have what has your employer done? As far as accommodations or having allowing you to disclose your disability? Do they have any special procedures for that? Or is it kind of on a team by Team basis and, and your managers have to be happened to be exceptional? Mark Palmer 16:39 My manager just happened to be exceptional it is. A lot of it is down to the managers. There are some things that it's just not possible to have, but I would really like a need and my biggest issue is lots of autistic people are hypersensitive in different ways. I'm hypersensitive to noise, but not just any noise. The noise that really gets to me is locked in Lots of voices all at once. And all our offices are big open spaces. Betsy Furler 17:06 Oh, yeah. So that's hard. Mark Palmer 17:08 It's very hard and there's not a lot they can do because there isn't any word quiet you can sit. I mean work got me an occupational health assessment for my autism. That's how I got my diagnosis....
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016 - Interview with Stacia Momburg - ADHD and Work From Home COVID19
04/13/2020
016 - Interview with Stacia Momburg - ADHD and Work From Home COVID19
On this episode, I interview Stacia Momburg - a transformational coach and writer. On the podcast, Stacia talks about her recent diagnosis of ADHD and how she works with the good and bad aspects of ADHD. We discuss her career and working from home with COVID 19 and ADHD. To connect with Stacia, please follow her on LinkedIn (Stacia Momburg) and check out her coaching services with special rates for COVID19 at https://planetnd.market/ Go to our website www.forallabilities.com for information on our software that enables employers to support their employees with ADHD, Dyslexia, Learning Differences and Autism. Thanks for listening! Betsy <b>Thanks for listening to For All Abilities today! </b> Share the podcast with your friends, they’ll thank you for it! Get our newsletter and stay up to date! The newsletter link is on our website www.forallabilities.com <b>Follow me</b> <b>Twitter</b>: <a href="https://twitter.com/BetsyFurler?lan">@betsyfurler</a> <b>Instagram: </b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/forallabilities/">@forallabilities</a> <b>Facebook: </b><a href="/">@forallabilites</a> <b>LinkedIn</b>: <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-furler/">@BetsyFurler</a> <b>Website</b>: <a href="http://www.forallabilities.com">www.forallabilities.com</a> Full Transcription from Otter.ai Betsy Furler 0:17 Hi everybody. Thank you so much for tuning into the for all abilities the podcast today. Again we are talking to somebody who is going to talk about neuro diversity and our strengths and our differences and how we all have our brains are so important and valuable in this world and how we can use our unique brain to live our best life. So today I have Stacia Momburg as our special guest and she is going to correct me if I misspelled or mispronounced her name and tell us all about herself. So hi, how are you today? Stacia Momburg 1:11 By my psychologist Betsy Furler 1:15 start over because I missed a hole, though, too. Hi, how are you today? Okay. Stacia Momburg 1:23 Hey, Betsy. Thank you. Betsy Furler 1:25 Hi, how are you today? Stacia Momburg 1:26 Hi, Betsy. Good to be here. Thank you for having me. My name is stasia mom Berg. I am a transformational coach, a communicator by trade, a writer, and a neurodiversity advocate. I was diagnosed with ADHD just last year by my psychologist during a very interesting conversation. And I live in California with my son, my dog, my two cats and a ball python named trouser Unknown Speaker 2:00 Wow. See, Betsy Furler 2:04 as we record this, we're in the middle of the Coronavirus COVID-19 crisis. So I guess we're you're probably sheltered more than sheltered in place more than we are. I'm in Houston, Texas, and we are currently able to move around the city but almost everything's closed and we're probably going to shelter in place soon. So, anyway, kind of a crazy time. But thank you so much for being willing to be on my podcast today. Stacia Momburg 2:33 And I'm absolutely thrilled. Thank you. Betsy Furler 2:35 Yeah, so I can't wait to hear more about what you what you're about your work. But first, tell us what you were like when you were a little Stacia Momburg 2:42 girl. When I was a little girl, I had bouts of anxiety. I didn't know it at the time. I remember being fearless doing a lot of things. I like to go fast on bicycles. And I like to jump bicycles off of curbs and ride big wheels down the street as fast as I could. And I think at that time not knowing that I had it anything for a dopamine uptake, if you will. So I was pretty fearless when it came to doing stuff. And in school. Up until about sixth grade, I was getting, you know, close to straight A's. I think for me, school was kind of a respite from my home life only because we had a lot of people in my house. My grandmother died when she was 50. And so my mom took on raising her two younger, much younger siblings, and they lived with us for quite some time. So school was a way to kind of be with friends. You know, being able to hyper focus on the subjects that I loved. I was thinking about this conversation this morning, having this conversation with you and I remember a project in third grade where we use sunflower seeds, Google eyes and a stick to make an owl on a board like glue and owl to a board and I swear to God, it was the best thing ever. Because I just got to sit there and meticulously glue sunflower seeds to a board to make owl feathers. Unknown Speaker 4:09 Wow. Stacia Momburg 4:10 Yeah. The fact that I have that memory, right. So up until about sixth grade. And then I think, you know, kids hormones start kicking in things change. There's a lot of social interaction that changes and we moved a couple of times in my preteens early teens. So I wasn't able to keep and make friends for a couple years. And I learned how to find very close friends that I could be with because it was easier. So I did that I'm an introvert as well. So it was just easier to have very close friends that I could have deep connections with as opposed to cords of friends. And in high school, I just stuck to myself and got C's and B's because nothing was interesting anymore. So I think that's kind of a reflection of what was going on. I had some stuff going on in my home life that was difficult, took attention away. So yeah, it was just a lot going on. But you know, learn how to survive, learned how to cope and found my own mechanisms to keep myself going, I guess. Betsy Furler 5:17 What about after school? Did you go on to college? Or did you go into the workplace? What did you do after high school? Stacia Momburg 5:24 After high school I floated around. My mom was pretty strict, in terms of like, having high expectations of what not to do socially. So straight out of high school, I went to a junior college that was near the coast, away from where I lived, and I partied and I found alcohol, which, for some of us, neuro divergence, it's a great self medicator. When that internal hyper activity gets going, it helps settle that down a bit. It's not the healthy way but I didn't know that at the time and I you know, I partied for a little bit and grew out of that I wasn't a huge party or after like 20 I think, you know, just a couple years. And when I went into the workforce was a tax preparer office manager bank teller, didn't know if I wanted to go to college finally decided to get into junior college and hit the ground running and it was in college that I was able to determine what I wanted to study. And so I got really good grades in college. I wound up studying history, I didn't focus on any specific time. I just loved learning about all the connections and I had some really great teachers moved to South Carolina to finish my undergrad finished that at 27. went back into the workforce. I've never used history and launched my career shortly after college. Betsy Furler 6:51 It sounds like you're a person who does really well when you can hyper focus. Stacia Momburg 6:56 I love hyper focus. It's my favorite Betsy Furler 6:59 thing. That's your superpower. Stacia Momburg 7:01 It is. It absolutely is. Yeah. I mean, when you're a history major and you're doing research, that's all you do. Right? Right. And when you're doing all of that research and you're hyper focused and interested in that subject, you're going to test well on that subject. I can't guarantee that I always tested well in other subjects that I did. You know, I did my best. So yeah, I was able to choose what was interesting, you know, Mm hmm. Betsy Furler 7:23 Yeah. And the little the fact about the self medicating with alcohol is really interesting. And I think a common a common issue, especially for kids when they go off to college. And then and alcohol is so available, and I'm assuming it still is today. Like it was back when I was in college. Very available and very inexpensive. And at that time, where it's so you know, you're kind of trying to find yourself and trying to figure out how you can, you know, survive without your parents. I think that is something that that a lot of a lot of people kind of start leaning on instead of maybe, you know, regular medication or other coping strategies. Stacia Momburg 8:11 Well, yeah, and when you're undiagnosed, and you're doing that, you're also dealing at that time. And I think, with ADHD as well, sometimes relationships can be like creating relationships can be awkward, because we don't have the same kind of Governor's on what's appropriate and what's not. And so, alcohol is kind of a social lubricant as well. And if someone else is drinking with you, a lot of excuse me, a lot of behaviors are more allowable. So it's a way to kind of inject yourself in a safe space, you know, in a safe way, you kind of learn that and you go, Okay, well, I'll just have a couple drinks and I'll relax and then they'll relax and it'll be fine. So you know, but then you learn other coping mechanisms as well. So Betsy Furler 8:57 awesome. So when you so after you grow from college and you started working, what what was your career? What did you start doing? Stacia Momburg 9:05 Like when I went when I finished college, I went back to the tax preparation person that I knew. And I was working briefly with her. And then I got a couple of other jobs, but I fell backwards kind of into a an associate member Association for cancer doctors. And I was hired as an office assistant. And my boss saw a lot of potential because one of the things we're really good at when we are able to hyper focus is when we're given a task, we complete the task immediately, very quickly, very efficiently. Yeah. And so she hired me on very, very quickly and I became a communications assistant. And I stayed with that organization for four years, and wound up doing some things really well. And they still use some of those things today, which I'm really proud of. But you know, at 20 Seven I was organizing newsrooms for 300 national and international reporters when in a time of fax machines and telephones, email was just coming online. So that was that was fun too. But I was also creating, you know, spreadsheets with how we were going to do press conferences based on when plenary sessions were and you know, all these cool things and pulling together an art installation as my final kind of farewell gift to them and they've done the art installation ever since. And now they make a calendar out of it every year and it was based on patient art. So it was I was able to learn and do a lot of things as this organization grew its membership. And then I got pregnant and I moved home to California, and wound up getting a job at the local university. I eventually became the crisis and issues manager for all crisis and issues on campus, again, able to hyper focus. You know, I think too with ADHD, our personalities are kind of unaffected by extremes. We're not really well for me anyways, my, my particular brain doesn't react one way or another to an extreme situation. It's like, Oh, it's an extreme situation, how do we fix it like problem solving? Right? Betsy Furler 11:25 Right. Right. Stacia Momburg 11:27 So I became the campus crisis and issues manager dealing with all manner of situations on campus suicides, births, students, birthing babies and bathrooms. People, you know, a place trying to kill each other with machetes. Yeah, it was it there were some wild times in their infrastructure failure, email threats, you name it, but it was it was like my thing. You know, it was my go to and, and I was good at it. And it wasn't. I always said it wasn't difficult for me. It was something I knew how to do. It was never Uh oh, that's such a big job. It's like No, not really. Right? Betsy Furler 12:05 Did you have trouble getting? Or? And do you have trouble getting places on time and anything like that? Are you uh, are you a punctual person? Stacia Momburg 12:14 You know, it's funny I, I laugh about this. My mom was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 71. And my mom is notorious for being late for everything like up to an hour and a half late. I was like crazy. And so it kind of it was always something that was hard for me to watch. So I try to be on time and for things that I deem I deem important. I like job interviews, or this podcast, for example, I'll be watching the clock and be early to something but if it's a mundane thing, like work, I'm usually you know, anywhere from three to 10 minutes late. Every day. I mean, every day, my boss like you have to show up on time and I'm like, yeah, I'm only three to 10 minutes late. It's hard to deal. I work through lunch, come on, Betsy Furler 12:56 you know, so that's my idea on time. I'm I'm a, I'm a neuro typical person, like, like, pretty, like so much that sometimes it's a problem. But I'm a, like, get there by the skin of my teeth kind of on, you know, like it's, I mean, I consider anything between at the moment I'm supposed to be there. Seven minutes late to be on time. Stacia Momburg 13:23 But same Betsy Furler 13:26 but my husband has ADHD, and he is a 15 to 20 minutes early, or he's late, like he thinks he's late if he's not 15 to 20 minutes early, and I find it so interesting because a lot of especially employers will, one of the accommodations will always be something about getting to meetings on time and it's like, so many people with ADHD don't need that. Right. Like to stop wasting so much time being everyplace early. My theory about it. But I'm like, if I bet if I have to be at the airport for a flight? Yeah, not a gift. I mean, I want to be there a good at least hour and a half before the flight. Right? So it's a bit like super important to me, then I will like, be early, but it's really interesting to me. I love hearing different people because kind of one of my things is that everyone's brain works differently. And just because you have a diagnosis of ADHD doesn't mean you need the hundred and 50 accommodations that someone has deemed work for people with ADHD. Stacia Momburg 14:35 It's, it's so funny because I it's so true. I just read a study that was published in 2017. About a group of doctors I believe it was out of Philadelphia. I just wrote about it in my blog on Planet neurodivergent. marketplace. It's where I have a regular blog posting once a month to talk about my diagnosis. But I just read this study. Where these doctors got together 117 people who were diagnosed with ADHD and they put them up against 134, neurotypical people, and one of the things they found, or they not that they found, but they verified is that every person with ADHD has a very different brain. So when you have a diagnosis, it's a myriad of symptoms that will present differently in each individual person, right. So, in this study as well, what they found based on some of the testing that they did, were potentially three new subgroups. And you can read more about it a little bit in my blog, but these subgroups just verified that there was even more difficulty understanding and learning about the ADHD diagnosis and they confirmed on MRI that no part of the brain lit up the same It all lit up differently. Yeah, it's fascinating. So is like I was just diagnosed last August and I've been having, I've been having difficulty getting a formal diagnosis. And then to learn that just a few years ago, we're still trying to figure out this diagnosis is just, it's fascinating to me. And it's like, this is why I want to advocate for not so much for accommodation, but just better understanding of different thinking, you know, Betsy Furler 16:30 well, and I think it's even compounded for women, because men can frequently women with ADHD, dyslexia, autism, everything that's considered neuro diversity. And women tend to be able to socially kind of fit in a little bit better than men with the same condition, which is good in some ways, but then it really leads to a problem with diagnosis. Exactly. Oh, As girls and then also as adults, and I've seen that so many times, both in my career I was a I'm a speech pathologist by training, and so many times in my career and then as well, as I've started doing this podcast and everything else, I really see that as an issue and diagnosis. Stacia Momburg 17:19 Now I hundred percent agree, I have to wonder, you know, as little girls, we're taught to be compliant and empathetic and you know, go with the flow and don't speak up. I mean, not recently, but certainly for my generation. I'm, you know, I'm in right at the tail. Yeah, Generation X. We're the product of the baby boomers. So we're very, you know, is very patriarchal society, and we're still very patriarchal, but we're trying to move into more equity right, slowly but surely. But I have to wonder if learning those social skills as a result, kind of, you know, as kids as girls with ADHD, you hyper focus and if you're empathic, On top of that, and you're taught to have empathy, you learn to read people to fit in. Yeah, I think without even knowing it, you know what I mean? Because I've always considered myself a chameleon. I can fit in with any group at any time. Because I read, I read the room, and I don't like the room, I have a drink, I stay an hour and I leave. Betsy Furler 18:20 Well, and that's a good point that as because as girls as, especially as Gen X girls, I would say, I know, a lot of what made me a very successful child and college student, which was doing what other people wanted me to do. being pretty quiet for the most part, although I'm an extreme extrovert and always have been, but you know, well behaved. You know, I spoke when I was spoken to like all of those things like the dream, little girl, right? Yep. Yep. Well, then as a business owner, I've completely how too and as a really, as a software startup founder, it's even gone further. why I've really had to unlearn a lot of that. Mm hmm. That I was, you know, really good at doing as a child like it does. It hasn't necessarily served me as an adult as a leader. But it certainly made me a very easy child to have in a classroom. And, and I think girls with ADHD frequently can, like you were saying, can kind of start picking up all on all of that. And in you know, maybe not be disruptive, like the boys with ADHD are like swinging from the chandelier. There's obviously something different about they, how they interact. And so I think that I think it really is a diagnostic issue. So speaking of that, so how did you ended up pursuing a diagnosis Stacia Momburg 19:58 and I was actually Okay, so it's a little bit I'm gonna go around my ass to get to my elbow, but there's a reason. So, I was laid off in 2016 when a donor for a grant program I was working for pulled three quarters of a million dollars. So the the institute couldn't afford to keep me anymore. And I searched hard for a job for six months, and I didn't land anything. I like I did not land anything. And so I had to go to work at a restaurant to keep my family afloat. And I was I did an eBay...
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