Good Girls Talk About Sex

Real women tell real stories about the role sex plays in their lives

The Evangelical Church Stunted My Sexuality – Brenda Marie Davies 10/14/2021

The Evangelical Church Stunted My Sexuality – Brenda Marie Davies Brenda grew up in a “sex silent” household and transitioned right into purity culture. For a naturally highly sexual person, this spelled dysfunction and disaster. She found her way out of abuse and repression, went through a period of intense exploration, and she is now an advocate and educator for other survivors of religious trauma. She shares her truth publicly and celebrates all of her experiences—even the “dark” ones, as they have anchored her learning along the healing journey. Brenda Marie Davies is a 37-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as bisexual, open-minded, and single. She describes her body as slim. Book: On Her Knees: Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel Website: YouTube: THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR FOR THIS EPISODE: *** DIPSEA STORIES: go to to get a 30-day FREE trial! Bookmark moments: 3:47 - Brenda shares her first memory of sexual pleasure as early as age 3, rubbing on a couch and being redirected by her mother to do such in private. She grew up in what she calls a “sex silent” household, in which the sole sex discussion was an Oprah video about STD’s. 9:00 - Brenda talks about how being exposed to Evangelical culture in puberty impacted her actions and outlook. 12:51 - Brenda shares an early fantasy around a boy at school which became an ongoing ravishment fantasy to circumvent Evangelical strictures (even though it uses victim blame phrases like “cause a brother to stumble.”) 19:43 - She talks about how she got into purity culture. She was a late bloomer, still playing Barbies in a Britney world, and she thought it gave her some safety. It did not; predation and dysfunction just changed shape. 25:35 - Brenda meets her husband at age 21, on MySpace. 32:09 - Brenda shares the story of losing her virginity on purpose to a guy she didn’t plan to see again, her search through the Bible for sense, and her overlapping experiences with anorexia and a hymenectomy. Also, she ends up marrying him. 41:48 - Disembodiment is an issue, and weaponized scripture doesn’t help. She also describes a role-playing adventure which backfires, and the dissolution of her marriage. 51:45 - She opens up about having a forced abortion in the midst of an abusive relationship in the midst of an exploration spree. 57:23- Brenda talks about some of her sexcapades. 1:02:18 - Brenda is bisexual; she shares her Star Wars-related coming out story. 1:09:58 - Brenda catches us up to present day and being single, including her advocacy work and living in deep personal integrity. The Lowdown: Brenda answers questions about having sex on her period, number of partners, race, sex toys, positions, initiating or not, active vs passive, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, orgasming, g-spot, faking it, kinds of touch, hard red lines, porn, group sex, hair vs bare, blowjobs, swallowing, receiving oral, ass play, kink, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, favorite body part, least favorite body part, sex life areas to improve, and old beliefs. : All archived Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now available for FREE! They can be accessed at . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Individual and couples coaching - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/20794844

I watched porn on the school bus – Kay 09/30/2021

I watched porn on the school bus – Kay Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they’re the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves all bodies. Despite her young age, Kay has already learned hard lessons about toxic relationships, trust, and consent. Kay is an 18-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Black, pansexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up Catholic and describes her body as full. Bookmark moments: 5:34 - Kay shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, when her peers in 6th grade were watching porn. It was her closest thing to a learning experience before trying things like handjobs and blowjobs. 9:55 - Kay “sort of” came out as bi in 7th grade, and then discovered she liked trans people too. She went to a Catholic school with genders separated and describes girls kissing in class. As they get older, school culture turns anti-gay. 14:40 - Sex Ed in school was brief biology, everything she already knew. Her first kiss was a dare on IG live with her best friend. It becomes her first relationship, which has its struggles. 18:00 - Kay talks about suicidal thoughts that both she and her girlfriend worked through. 25:30 - Kay lives with her mom; her mom found out about her dating girls after seeing her phone but didn’t take issue with it. Kay wishes for more open conversation around sex. 31:03 - She meets a boy. He’s not a friend first, and after the honeymoon phase it doesn’t go well, but lasts for two toxic years. He verbally abuses her about her appearance and cheats on her. 38:20 - Kay describes a painful loss of virginity experience. Our culture says this is normal, but Leah does some myth-busting on what is actually normal and how this experience can and should go down. 47:41 - Kay talks about her current relationship. She’s had her first orgasm! But sometimes he doesn’t stop when she tells him to. This includes unwanted touching. 55:27 - They talk about how Kay’s generation is the first with easy access to porn, and what messages are being gleaned. 1:01:30 - They talk about masturbation. Kay started around 4th 1:03:03 - The Lowdown: Kay answers questions about sex during periods, STI’s, birth control, number of sex partners, dating outside your race, toys, positions, initiating sex, being active vs passive, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, achieving and faking orgasms, solo vs partnered sex, kinds of touch, rough play, safety protocols specific to choking, one’s partner masturbating alone or watching porn alone, blowjobs, swallowing, hair vs bare, group sex, ass play, kink desires, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, favorite body part, least favorite body part, areas to improve sex life, and correcting old beliefs. Resources: Feminist porn – PLEASE PAY FOR YOUR PORN! : All archived Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now available for FREE! They can be accessed at . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Individual and couples coaching - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/20641853

Pain and pleasure cum together – Caz 09/16/2021

Pain and pleasure cum together – Caz Caz is an open book with a ton of chapters: a non-binary disability advocate kink-loving trauma survivor pain/pleasure early wayfinder who left live sex shows for the dating apps. The extraordinary roads they had to navigate led them to know themselves intimately, and helped them learn to accept, manage, and finally enjoy bodily pain. Caz is a 40-year-old, non-binary person who was assigned female at birth. They describe themselves as queer, non-monogamous and single. They’ve had a hysterectomy, so they no longer have a period but believe that hormonally they are probably peri-menopausal. They grew up in the United States and describe their body as curvy. Caz is a disability activist, and is particularly involved in education around sexuality for people with disabilities, including kink activities. You can find them on Instagram at Bookmark moments: 5:07 - Caz shares an early memory of sexual pleasure, when they caught masturbating in the living room around age 4-5. They were quickly escorted to their bedroom and the behavior was not encouraged. 8:37 - Caz has their first sexually partnered experience at age 13-14 which is mostly positive, but it triggers memories of early molestation. They seek therapy, learn how to navigate clitoral sensitivity, and treat numbness. 14:57 - Caz shares the outline of their medical issues. It started at age 21, when their legs were being held back while being fisted, causing lasting injury that spawned serious compound issues. 20:50 - The pleasure/pain balance leads to their interest in kink. Navigating the pain itself becomes a factor. They find themselves in an abusive relationship, and then a libido-mismatched rebound. 26:15 - Caz talks about learning how to orgasm while weaning off Effexor. 30:04 - Caz shares that the bent toward kink has been lifelong, and describes a childhood fantasy with masturbation taskmasters. They describe early kink explorations, pain/pleasure antecedents in self-harm, and using that as an emotional management strategy. 37:15 - They transition into BDSM as an avenue of positive personal control. Self-education starts in an alcove at Border’s Books. 48:06 - Caz talks about early same-sex interactions; some of them were non-consensual. The first consensual one was in their early 20’s. They knew something was “off” about their gender and felt most comfortable in drag. 55:40 - Caz opens up about non-binary dating, and what life and sex look like today. They have a long-term friend with benefits with whom they became pandemic partners and have recently returned to the apps. 1:04:45 - Caz talks about accessibility and kink spaces. The Lowdown: Caz answers rapid-fire questions about period sex while, number of partners, race, toys, positions, re-naming reverse cowgirl, initiating sex, being active vs passive, clit stimulation vs penetration, physical therapy, breast/chest play, orgasming from penetration vs masturbating, preferred kind of touch, hard red lines, forced orgasm edging, porn use, making porn, live sex shows, Onlyfans, hair vs bare, group sex, giving oral sex, swallowing, receiving oral, smell and taste, ass play, kink limits, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, favorite body parts, least favorite, getting more oral, and advice to one’s former self. : All archived Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now available for FREE! They can be accessed at . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Individual and couples coaching - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/20440991

Sex with women is 10/10, highly recommend - Tori 09/02/2021

Sex with women is 10/10, highly recommend - Tori Tori grew up in a church that preached purity culture, which mostly taught her what she didn’t want—a life with far more shame than sex, compounded by firmly fixed instructions around gender. She followed her pleasure down roads less traditionally traveled and created polyamorous and non-monogamous relationships with people across the gender spectrum. It works for her, her partners, and the children for whom she wants to make a better, healthier world. Tori is 37-years-old. She describes herself as Black, pansexual and polyamorous. She has a partner who she lives with, plus she’s in a relationship with another couple. In terms of gender, she uses the she/her pronouns, but said, “Gender and I are not on speaking terms.” We talk about that in our conversation. She grew up in Evangelical purity culture. You can find Tori at: Website - Instagram - Twitter - Bookmark moments: 2:50 Tori shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, sitting in her homeschool desk at age 7 or 8 and rubbing herself over her jeans. In purity culture, “everything that feels good is bad.” 4:40 Tori talks about growing up in purity culture, how it never fit her, and how it spectacularly failed to prevent sexual activity for her and her peers. 12:14 She moves in with a boyfriend to the horror of her parents, with whom she is no longer in contact. 21:15 Tori talks about leaving the church as it became increasingly abusive towards its members. She wants to raise them differently than how she was raised. 25:46 Leaving the church (and her husband) allows her to explore her attraction to other people and other genders. Tori gets into more detail about her complicated relationship with gender. 32:25 Tori spells out what being a-romantic means to her and how she separates romance from intimacy from sex. 38:52 She opens up about her current live-in partner, how that configures with their other relationships, and what polyamory/ethical non-monogamy means for them. She talks about her relationship with a couple who met each other via her Twitter. 46:50 - The Lowdown - Tori answers questions about period sex, number of partners, sex with someone of a different race, sex toys, sex positions, initiating sex, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, achieving orgasm, faking it, solo orgasms vs partnered, kind of touch, nipple sucking, hard red lines, hair vs bare, giving and receiving oral, swallowing, taste and smell, dirty talk, laughter, and childhood beliefs about sex. : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Individual and couple coaching with Leah - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/20342126

Dating while pregnant - Tammy 08/19/2021

Dating while pregnant - Tammy Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were unhealthy and downright dangerous. She dedicated herself repeatedly to making a better life for herself and her children—a life that hopefully includes serious sexual satisfaction and positive role-modeling for her children. Tammy is a 33-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, Jewish, and has two kids. She and her husband are married by Jewish law but not legally. She is currently monogamous, but may be open to exploring other options in the future. She describes her body as an hourglass figure with a few extra pounds. THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR FOR THIS EPISODE: *** DIPSEA STORIES: Go to to get a 30-day FREE trial! Bookmark moments: 3:20 - Tammy shares her first memory of sexual desire, playing with the showerhead at around age 11-12 and finding her mother’s vibrator. She did not witness affection between her parents. 6:50 - She talks about how growing up in a Jewish family impacted her views on sexuality. 10:18 - Tammy decides to leave school and get her GED to get out from under her controlling mother. She goes to live with her grandparents who aren’t much better, and she turns to Yahoo groups to get access to dating and boys. You guessed it: catfish. 17:00 - She gives in and sees the guy, then goes into a panic when she realizes how in over her head she is. The incident turns into a memory blackout. 19:18 - Tammy talks about her first husband, and how her community taught (or not) young virgin wives about sex and its place within Jewish law. 27:18 - She opens up about the first time her husband displayed violent tendencies, and she chose to leave with her infant daughter. 31:35 - She tries to find her way into more mainstream culture for dating. She meets a guy she knows is wrong. A honeymoon in Vegas ends in annulment and another baby. 40:00 - Tammy talks about dating while pregnant, and then as a young mother. 47:30 - Tammy meets someone different, and she gets her first taste of bad boy attraction. It ends, and she finds herself running a divorcee dating network. She meets someone different again, this time “nerdy.” He seems like a good guy and they get engaged, but there’s a porn addiction. 55:30 - They both start 12-step meetings. Leah talks about porn use vs porn addiction. 1:02:00 - Tammy shares how her body image was negatively impacted by the porn, how her withdrawal and her husband’s waning interest stalled their sex life, and how he failed to stay off porn. 1:09:44 - She started listening to this podcast and thinking maybe there could be more, her hopes for the future, and how she wants to raise her kids to be open and have positive models. 1:17:15 – The Lowdown - Tammy answers questions about sex on her period, partners, toys, positions, clit stimulation vs penetration, achieving and/or faking orgasm, touch, building up pleasure, older men, masturbation, hair vs bare, 3-ways, blowjobs, receiving oral, smell and taste, breast play, ass play, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, body parts, fantasies, and more. Resources: Tracy’s Dog – Tammy’s favorite toy! Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) - Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACoA) - : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/20189969

I want be pushed against the wall – Ar Blia 08/05/2021

I want be pushed against the wall – Ar Blia It’s our 100th episode!!!!! Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate for her own pleasure. Even within the constricts of a conservative community, she has been able to find adventure, find herself, and find a partner who truly works for her. Ar Blia is a 27-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, and partnered with her boyfriend of five years. She describes her body as average (though by white American standards many of us would probably consider her petite.) Bookmark moments: 6:12 - Ar Blia shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, at age 4-5, being aware of a pleasant tickle-ish sensation “down there” with a soapy touch. She innocently explores herself in the open until her father makes fun of her. 11:20 - Ar Blia talks about her culture’s views on sex and marriage and how that impacted her while growing up. 14:07 - She talks about her first boyfriend, with whom she planned to wait until marriage despite the copious sexual tension. 21:30 - Ar Blia shares how some aspects of her culture and how they impacted her attractions and actions. 26:08 - Ar Blia learns to make her personality smaller to accommodate her boyfriend, slowly losing herself over four years. 29:00 - She talks about how her current boyfriend helped her see what had happened. 36:08 - She shares how she met her current boyfriend, who happily pushes her up against walls. She discusses how virginity is prized in her culture and how she navigated that with the second boyfriend. She further details how her culture shaped this relationship with regard to age and expectations. 41:27 - Ar Blia opens up about her struggles with body image. 45:00 - Ar Blia discusses how she and her boyfriend found their way to pleasure reciprocity, and how they subsequently navigated a time of decreased libido. 49:16 - She ties the decreased libido back to earlier culturally-informed traumas around non-consensual sexual touch. She recalls the two episodes, and talks about present-day impacts on having her breasts touched. 1:04:30 - Ar Blia says listening to episodes of this podcast has helped her process what had happened, and get to a good place with her boyfriend now. 1:09:51 - The Lowdown: Ar Blia answers questions about having sex on her period, sex partners and race, sex toys, positions, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, getting to orgasm/faking it, kinds of touch, hard red lines, anal play, porn (and discovering her father’s stash with her siblings), hair vs bare, group sex, oral sex, kink, role playing, dirty talk, uncomfortable desires, body image, and changing beliefs. 1:20:17 - Leah and Ar Blia talk out being submissive in the bedroom vs in life, and the possibility of 3-way explorations. : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/20031206

Sex and Cerebral Palsy - Karin 07/22/2021

Sex and Cerebral Palsy - Karin Karin talks about living with cerebral palsy and how she shows up in her own life and on Instagram. Early in her life, she struggled with hating her body, and had to work to get to place where she could see her body as worthy of experiencing pleasure. She had a brief storybook romance with a young man who also had CP. She is frank about planning, logistics, and how things like choice and vulnerability show up differently for her than for able-bodied people. Karin is a 30-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and dating. She has cerebral palsy and a mental health disability, and has previously had an eating disorder. She describes her body as fat. You can find Karin on Instagram at and at her website at . Bookmark moments: 4:55 - Karin starts sharing by speaking to the hard parts: being fetishized, or “something to try,” rather than a sexual whole person. 5:40 - Karin has her first experience with sexual pleasure in her 20’s when she starts dating. They Skype about disability justice and he tells her how pretty she is. It’s beautiful and has a lasting impact, but is also brief and ends tragically. 10:34 - Karin has cerebral palsy; she didn’t explore her own body sexually while growing up. She became Christian in college; her takeaway is that Jesus would love people where they’re at, and this gives her hope and space for a relationship. 13:45 - Karin talks about where agency and choice reside for her, and about the level of trust required for intimacy. 15:20 - She circles back to the story of her first kiss. 24:15 - After losing her first boyfriend, Karin opens the door to her attraction to women. 27:00 - Karin shares that being disabled means talking about intimate logistics ahead of time, and that this can be fun. 32:02 - Karin also dealt with an eating disorder and mental health issues. She struggled early in life with hating her body, and she has worked hard to reach a place of acceptance and neutrality. A significant source of healing has been seeing her body sexually at all. 38:58 - She talks about how intimacy worked in her relationship, and that cultural conditioning to not advocate for her desires was compounded by her lack of knowing what she desires. 47:13 - Karin is currently exploring new desires around kink. She’s also learned to apply consent to co-handling of her body in everyday life. 52:00 - She shares a story of getting her boyfriend to look up fetish porn for her PhD dissertation, and the differences between American-Puritan and European perspectives. 55:20 - Karin hopes to marry and have children someday. She is talking to a potential romantic partner. 1:02:22 - Leah explains sexual surrogacy. Resources: Karin’s website – Karin on IG - To hear more about sexual surrogacy, listen to our episode with Jocelyn - : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19867346

Sex and the 7th Day Adventist Church - Chandra 07/08/2021

Sex and the 7th Day Adventist Church - Chandra Chandra grew up in the 7th Day Adventist church, which she equates to a cult. She faults the church for being an educational, social, and religious system that neither acknowledges nor teaches that consent exists for women. She became (mildly) rebellious, experimented with illicit hand-holding, got married, got out, and then embarked on a season of experimentation. Chandra is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She grew up in the 7th Day Adventist Church in the United States and describes herself as mixed race including Black, white, Chinese, and east Indian. She is bisexual, single, and has no children. She said her preferred relationship style is “honest.”. She describes her body as average. Bookmark moments: 5:22 - Chandra shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, a generalized curiosity around age 6. 7:31 - Chandra talks about being raised Seventh Day Adventist, and what the conservative education around sex looked like. Nature shows were her best informer. The school taught Creationism and held a “Purity Week.” 12:56 - She starts experimenting around age 11, but doesn’t know what she’s doing. Pleasure mixes with anxiety. At 12 she has a non-consensual experience that turns into a year-long power abuse dynamic. Her father clues in and moves the family away. 26:29 - She moves on to rebellious hand-holding with a boy at religious summer camp. Then boarding school, and marriage. Sex becomes painful as she endures emotional abuse. She lets him experiment outside the marriage. Lies end the marriage; infidelity gives her a respectable way out. 36:14 - An experimental phase for Chandra begins. She gets reckless. 39:50 - Chandra explores her bisexuality. She tracks her attraction back to age 6. 42:50 - Chandra shares what her current dating life looks like, and the possibility of future parenthood. 50:15 - The discussion turns to pleasure, then relationship styles. Chandra says her preferred style is “honest,” and she finds that most often in the polyamorous community and its standard of open communication and consent. The Lowdown 57:00 - The Q&A covers period sex, interracial dating, toys, sex positions, initiating sex, roles, stimulations, orgasms, touch, hard red lines, porn, grooming, oral, squirting (PSA: buy Chucks!), dirty talk, laughter, rape fantasies, long legs, and unlearning childhood beliefs. Resources: Cult Evaded podcast - https://anchor.fm/cultevaded Clit sucking toys - https://www.google.com/search?q=clit+suction+toy Chucks - https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Underpads-Incontinence-Absorbent-Protective/dp/B081VRG3NK : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19708913

I was afraid he would kill me - Gina 06/24/2021

I was afraid he would kill me - Gina Gina grew up as a hot babe, the kind we’d all be jealous of. It took a long journey of sexual acting out and questionable marriages for her to realize that she was both groomed to be this way, and that it’s a trauma response to early assaults. Being performative, dominant, or checking out are still common ways her body responds, even though she loves her husband. She is the mother of two daughters and is committed to finding a path to sex that feels safe, and hopefully even enjoyable. Gina is a 43-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Latina, monogamous, straight, and married. She was brought up in a Catholic home and she now has two daughters. She describes her body as average and peri-menopausal. Bookmark moments: 7:10 - Gina shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, rubbing herself on the corner of a piece of furniture as a child—something she now sees her own young daughters doing. She only learned as an adult that people masturbate and this is common. 14:25 - Gina has a repressed memory of being molested. Leah shares that you do not need to know what happened in order to heal. 19:00 - Gina has her first boyfriend, and first unpleasant groping. It brings up a memory of a previous unwanted, confusing fingering by a non-blood-related family member. 25:02 - They discuss autonomic pleasure during assault, and how deeply confusing that can be. 30:49 - Gina remembers feeling pleasure when she finally has consensual sex, but she knew even then to be performative. She links this to growing up, when her father encouraged her to look sexy as though that reflected positively on him and would speak inappropriately in front of her. 35:26 - She starts playing a dangerous game with getting herself in and out of sexual situations to reclaim control. In the middle of this she gets married at 18, he is in the military, and she has intense anxiety attacks. A double life ensues. 43:17 - Gina opens up about having a sexual attraction to women which coincided with an increasing disgust with the men for whom she stripped. 47:55- She gets out of the bad marriage and rewrites her story with an unusual new marriage the same day of her divorce. She has loads of sexual encounters, enough to earn her a nickname; they divorce when his girlfriend gets pregnant. 51:45 - She meets her current husband; at the time she sees him as fresh meat to teach. She enters a period of discovering herself *without* sex and deliberately envisions who she wants to be—someone who is truthful and has intellectual coffee shop friends. 55:26 - Childhood trauma resurfaces as she faces a new conflict: how to enjoy sex without performing her enjoyment. 18 years into a happy marriage, she still struggles between detachment and control. Motherhood, especially touch out from breastfeeding, complicates things. 1:02:40 - Gina recognizes a need for non-sexual touch and intimacy, actual foreplay, creating safety, clear communication, and understanding her trauma responses. She shares their journey through marital therapy to recover from a rough patch and her brief infidelity. Sex-specific therapy is discussed. 1:12:00 - Trauma responses are discussed. : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19561589

Not saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘yes’ – Danielle 06/17/2021

Not saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘yes’ – Danielle Danielle is a therapist who has also graduated from the school of life. Her earliest sexual experiences were non-consensual and impacted her for long after the events happened in implicit, explicit, and confusing ways. She found healing within a happy marriage, then suffered a miscarriage with its own series of impacts. She’s doing well now, and still loves a Reverse Cowgirl. Danielle is a 35-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, married, and pre-menopausal. She describes her body as athletic. Bookmark moments: 3:10 - Danielle shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, watching Cinderella at age 4-5 and being sucked in by the “will they/won’t they” and the power of the first kiss. She recalls being seeking dedicated attention and commitment, even in pre-school. 8:00 - She has her first kiss. It’s magical until she finds out he’s kissing other girls too. 11:40 - She meets her first bad boy – a tortured-artist type. Non-consensual intercourse occurs. A lack of “no” is not a “yes.” 20:30 - The body can still have an autonomic pleasure response when there is abuse or coercion. 24:00 - Danielle talks about her first real love, her college boyfriend who is a deeply good human dude. A lot of processing of her past experiences ends up happening on his time. The Kobe Bryant assault coverage triggers her in the breakroom at work; she spontaneously recalls an assault by a group of boys at age 7. Waves of memory and pain break over her for a while. 33:27 - She opens up about what sex was like while she processed her trauma. She reclaims her sexuality within the safety and intimacy she finds with her husband. 38:10 - Danielle talks about experiencing miscarriage last year, her hopes for having children, and their marriage bed turning into a micromanagement project: how to make a baby when great sex isn’t enough, and how to prevent that from spoiling the great sex. 47:10 Danielle is curious about how people function in non-monogamous relationship styles and what this means about our ability to love and connect across the commitment and desire spectrums. The Lowdown (53:22) : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19478774

Orgasms aren’t the best part of sex - Christine 06/10/2021

Orgasms aren’t the best part of sex - Christine Christine inhabits a sexual landscape that includes orgies, bondage, non-monogamy, skilled play partners, and sex-positive parties. She talks about a surprising struggle: how dissociation and OCD impact her ability to orgasm, even while having lots of fun. Christine Wild is the host of the podcast Running Wild With Christine. She is also the author of the book “Just Bad Timing.” You can find her at: Website - Podcast - Twitter - Instagram - Christine is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, bisexual, non-monogamous, and in a committed relationship. She grew up in Switzerland, spent summers in Croatia, and now lives in Canada. Bookmark moments: (4:08) Christine shares her first memories of sexual pleasure, with a recurring summer house love from ages 8-15. She tells the story of losing her virginity to him. (11:09) She grew up in a “prim and proper, but open” single mom household in Switzerland. Sex Ed was the usual condom and banana; there was also a kind of Planned Parenthood though. (15:51) Her summer love gets a real girlfriend. From 16-18, she has a good amount of unmemorable sex before finding someone to accidentally date as a hot fuck-buddy twice her age. (20:43) Christine moves to Vancouver for college and revels in new freedom. “That’s when the fun really started.” She racks up numbers but doesn’t have her first orgasm until age 23. (22:55) She talks about her first orgasm, difficulty orgasming, OCD, and how being disconnected from her body got in the way for a long time, and ironically, being emotionally drained by school and an unhealthy partnership finally overwhelmed her mind’s control. (30:40) Orgies! Plus non-monogamy, sex parties, BDSM, and MDMA. (34:35) Christine talks about relationship agreements and navigating a committed, non-monogamous relationship which emerged from sex party play. She compartmentalizes her non-primary relationships, like the person she sees only for BDSM. (43:40) Christine shares how being OCD and “high potential” shape her life and her sex life. (47:43) She wants to have kids but is also concerned about how it would impact her sex life. (51:00) Participation at sex parties can look like all different things, and can provide new ways to give and receive pleasure. (1:00:00) Things she’ll never do again, empowerment lessons from bondage, faking orgasms, achieving orgasms, oral, kink, smell, taste, talk, bodies, and other rapid-fire questions. The Lowdown (56:10) All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19395206

I haven’t told my husband my fetishes – Vin 05/27/2021

I haven’t told my husband my fetishes – Vin Vin goes from the prototypical good girl to a (nearly) fearless adventurer. She married young, and enjoys a positive and openly communicative sexual relationship with her husband. Vin opens up about how their initial struggle to achieve penis-in-vagina sex led her to explore erotica, kink, anal play, toys, plugs, and taboo porn, all in a curvy body. Vin is a 22-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as Indigenous, monogamous, bisexual, and married. She grew up in a Christian home and describes her body as “chunky.” Bookmark moments: (3:38) Vin shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, before the age of 7. Family movie night had the occasional “close your eyes!” scene, and she got curious with her pillow. (11:40) Growing up, her parents demonstrated healthy affection towards each other, but there was no sex talk and her older sisters were mum on the subject. The family all find out late that the eldest sister is gay; it doesn’t go over well with her religious parents. (17:30) Vin has no boyfriend before her husband. Partly because she’s the quintessential good girl, and partly because no one interests her. (23:45) Vin struggled with her body image growing up; her parents consciously kept them from being overweight “for health reasons.” Health talk can be code for fat phobia, and she’s still to this day untangling her personal physical truth from this cultural fear. (34:11) Vin talks about meeting her husband. (40:20) After they kiss, things get moving and Vin has a fully clothed orgasm from breast play that she still remembers as a stand-out moment. (47:17) Vin shares what her total lack of experience going into the marriage looked like. She’d never even used a tampon and couldn’t fit her husband. He gallantly suggests a small dildo, and they take their time learning her body together. (51:25) They explore anal play to assist with her vaginal difficulties. It helps! (57:35) Vin opens up about the things she never knew existed and wants to try. The Yes/No/Maybe checklist was an inspiration for her, and it opens up a lot of conversation with her husband (though she wants to explore more than he does). (1:01:20) Leah shares resources for body image and movement help for curvy or larger bodies. Vin wants to get comfortable with physical positions other than being on her back. They also discuss Literotica and how it can be used for learning and exploration as well as pleasure. (1:06:00) Vin talks about fantasizing about women and bisexual desires, and they discuss how getting turned on by things that are taboo doesn’t mean you want to do it in real life. The Lowdown (1:10:50) Resources: Curvy Girl Sex - : All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19240751