Good Girls Talk About Sex

Real women tell real stories about the role sex plays in their lives

Sex and Cerebral Palsy - Karin 07/22/2021

Sex and Cerebral Palsy - Karin Karin talks about living with cerebral palsy and how she shows up in her own life and on Instagram. Early in her life, she struggled with hating her body, and had to work to get to place where she could see her body as worthy of experiencing pleasure. She had a brief storybook romance with a young man who also had CP. She is frank about planning, logistics, and how things like choice and vulnerability show up differently for her than for able-bodied people. Karin is a 30-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and dating. She has cerebral palsy and a mental health disability, and has previously had an eating disorder. She describes her body as fat. You can find Karin on Instagram at and at her website at . Bookmark moments: 4:55 - Karin starts sharing by speaking to the hard parts: being fetishized, or “something to try,” rather than a sexual whole person. 5:40 - Karin has her first experience with sexual pleasure in her 20’s when she starts dating. They Skype about disability justice and he tells her how pretty she is. It’s beautiful and has a lasting impact, but is also brief and ends tragically. 10:34 - Karin has cerebral palsy; she didn’t explore her own body sexually while growing up. She became Christian in college; her takeaway is that Jesus would love people where they’re at, and this gives her hope and space for a relationship. 13:45 - Karin talks about where agency and choice reside for her, and about the level of trust required for intimacy. 15:20 - She circles back to the story of her first kiss. 24:15 - After losing her first boyfriend, Karin opens the door to her attraction to women. 27:00 - Karin shares that being disabled means talking about intimate logistics ahead of time, and that this can be fun. 32:02 - Karin also dealt with an eating disorder and mental health issues. She struggled early in life with hating her body, and she has worked hard to reach a place of acceptance and neutrality. A significant source of healing has been seeing her body sexually at all. 38:58 - She talks about how intimacy worked in her relationship, and that cultural conditioning to not advocate for her desires was compounded by her lack of knowing what she desires. 47:13 - Karin is currently exploring new desires around kink. She’s also learned to apply consent to co-handling of her body in everyday life. 52:00 - She shares a story of getting her boyfriend to look up fetish porn for her PhD dissertation, and the differences between American-Puritan and European perspectives. 55:20 - Karin hopes to marry and have children someday. She is talking to a potential romantic partner. 1:02:22 - Leah explains sexual surrogacy. Resources: Karin’s website – Karin on IG - To hear more about sexual surrogacy, listen to our episode with Jocelyn - : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19867346

Sex and the 7th Day Adventist Church - Chandra 07/08/2021

Sex and the 7th Day Adventist Church - Chandra Chandra grew up in the 7th Day Adventist church, which she equates to a cult. She faults the church for being an educational, social, and religious system that neither acknowledges nor teaches that consent exists for women. She became (mildly) rebellious, experimented with illicit hand-holding, got married, got out, and then embarked on a season of experimentation. Chandra is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She grew up in the 7th Day Adventist Church in the United States and describes herself as mixed race including Black, white, Chinese, and east Indian. She is bisexual, single, and has no children. She said her preferred relationship style is “honest.”. She describes her body as average. Bookmark moments: 5:22 - Chandra shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, a generalized curiosity around age 6. 7:31 - Chandra talks about being raised Seventh Day Adventist, and what the conservative education around sex looked like. Nature shows were her best informer. The school taught Creationism and held a “Purity Week.” 12:56 - She starts experimenting around age 11, but doesn’t know what she’s doing. Pleasure mixes with anxiety. At 12 she has a non-consensual experience that turns into a year-long power abuse dynamic. Her father clues in and moves the family away. 26:29 - She moves on to rebellious hand-holding with a boy at religious summer camp. Then boarding school, and marriage. Sex becomes painful as she endures emotional abuse. She lets him experiment outside the marriage. Lies end the marriage; infidelity gives her a respectable way out. 36:14 - An experimental phase for Chandra begins. She gets reckless. 39:50 - Chandra explores her bisexuality. She tracks her attraction back to age 6. 42:50 - Chandra shares what her current dating life looks like, and the possibility of future parenthood. 50:15 - The discussion turns to pleasure, then relationship styles. Chandra says her preferred style is “honest,” and she finds that most often in the polyamorous community and its standard of open communication and consent. The Lowdown 57:00 - The Q&A covers period sex, interracial dating, toys, sex positions, initiating sex, roles, stimulations, orgasms, touch, hard red lines, porn, grooming, oral, squirting (PSA: buy Chucks!), dirty talk, laughter, rape fantasies, long legs, and unlearning childhood beliefs. Resources: Cult Evaded podcast - https://anchor.fm/cultevaded Clit sucking toys - https://www.google.com/search?q=clit+suction+toy Chucks - https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Underpads-Incontinence-Absorbent-Protective/dp/B081VRG3NK : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19708913

I was afraid he would kill me - Gina 06/24/2021

I was afraid he would kill me - Gina Gina grew up as a hot babe, the kind we’d all be jealous of. It took a long journey of sexual acting out and questionable marriages for her to realize that she was both groomed to be this way, and that it’s a trauma response to early assaults. Being performative, dominant, or checking out are still common ways her body responds, even though she loves her husband. She is the mother of two daughters and is committed to finding a path to sex that feels safe, and hopefully even enjoyable. Gina is a 43-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Latina, monogamous, straight, and married. She was brought up in a Catholic home and she now has two daughters. She describes her body as average and peri-menopausal. Bookmark moments: 7:10 - Gina shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, rubbing herself on the corner of a piece of furniture as a child—something she now sees her own young daughters doing. She only learned as an adult that people masturbate and this is common. 14:25 - Gina has a repressed memory of being molested. Leah shares that you do not need to know what happened in order to heal. 19:00 - Gina has her first boyfriend, and first unpleasant groping. It brings up a memory of a previous unwanted, confusing fingering by a non-blood-related family member. 25:02 - They discuss autonomic pleasure during assault, and how deeply confusing that can be. 30:49 - Gina remembers feeling pleasure when she finally has consensual sex, but she knew even then to be performative. She links this to growing up, when her father encouraged her to look sexy as though that reflected positively on him and would speak inappropriately in front of her. 35:26 - She starts playing a dangerous game with getting herself in and out of sexual situations to reclaim control. In the middle of this she gets married at 18, he is in the military, and she has intense anxiety attacks. A double life ensues. 43:17 - Gina opens up about having a sexual attraction to women which coincided with an increasing disgust with the men for whom she stripped. 47:55- She gets out of the bad marriage and rewrites her story with an unusual new marriage the same day of her divorce. She has loads of sexual encounters, enough to earn her a nickname; they divorce when his girlfriend gets pregnant. 51:45 - She meets her current husband; at the time she sees him as fresh meat to teach. She enters a period of discovering herself *without* sex and deliberately envisions who she wants to be—someone who is truthful and has intellectual coffee shop friends. 55:26 - Childhood trauma resurfaces as she faces a new conflict: how to enjoy sex without performing her enjoyment. 18 years into a happy marriage, she still struggles between detachment and control. Motherhood, especially touch out from breastfeeding, complicates things. 1:02:40 - Gina recognizes a need for non-sexual touch and intimacy, actual foreplay, creating safety, clear communication, and understanding her trauma responses. She shares their journey through marital therapy to recover from a rough patch and her brief infidelity. Sex-specific therapy is discussed. 1:12:00 - Trauma responses are discussed. : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19561589

Not saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘yes’ – Danielle 06/17/2021

Not saying ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘yes’ – Danielle Danielle is a therapist who has also graduated from the school of life. Her earliest sexual experiences were non-consensual and impacted her for long after the events happened in implicit, explicit, and confusing ways. She found healing within a happy marriage, then suffered a miscarriage with its own series of impacts. She’s doing well now, and still loves a Reverse Cowgirl. Danielle is a 35-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, married, and pre-menopausal. She describes her body as athletic. Bookmark moments: 3:10 - Danielle shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, watching Cinderella at age 4-5 and being sucked in by the “will they/won’t they” and the power of the first kiss. She recalls being seeking dedicated attention and commitment, even in pre-school. 8:00 - She has her first kiss. It’s magical until she finds out he’s kissing other girls too. 11:40 - She meets her first bad boy – a tortured-artist type. Non-consensual intercourse occurs. A lack of “no” is not a “yes.” 20:30 - The body can still have an autonomic pleasure response when there is abuse or coercion. 24:00 - Danielle talks about her first real love, her college boyfriend who is a deeply good human dude. A lot of processing of her past experiences ends up happening on his time. The Kobe Bryant assault coverage triggers her in the breakroom at work; she spontaneously recalls an assault by a group of boys at age 7. Waves of memory and pain break over her for a while. 33:27 - She opens up about what sex was like while she processed her trauma. She reclaims her sexuality within the safety and intimacy she finds with her husband. 38:10 - Danielle talks about experiencing miscarriage last year, her hopes for having children, and their marriage bed turning into a micromanagement project: how to make a baby when great sex isn’t enough, and how to prevent that from spoiling the great sex. 47:10 Danielle is curious about how people function in non-monogamous relationship styles and what this means about our ability to love and connect across the commitment and desire spectrums. The Lowdown (53:22) : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19478774

UNCUT – Orgasms aren’t the best part of sex - Christine 06/10/2021

UNCUT – Orgasms aren’t the best part of sex - Christine Christine inhabits a sexual landscape that includes orgies, bondage, non-monogamy, skilled play partners, and sex-positive parties. She talks about a surprising struggle: how dissociation and OCD impact her ability to orgasm, even while having lots of fun. Christine Wild is the host of the podcast Running Wild With Christine. She is also the author of the book “Just Bad Timing.” You can find her at: Website - Podcast - Twitter - Instagram - Christine is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, bisexual, non-monogamous, and in a committed relationship. She grew up in Switzerland, spent summers in Croatia, and now lives in Canada. Bookmark moments: (4:08) Christine shares her first memories of sexual pleasure, with a recurring summer house love from ages 8-15. She tells the story of losing her virginity to him. (11:09) She grew up in a “prim and proper, but open” single mom household in Switzerland. Sex Ed was the usual condom and banana; there was also a kind of Planned Parenthood though. (15:51) Her summer love gets a real girlfriend. From 16-18, she has a good amount of unmemorable sex before finding someone to accidentally date as a hot fuck-buddy twice her age. (20:43) Christine moves to Vancouver for college and revels in new freedom. “That’s when the fun really started.” She racks up numbers but doesn’t have her first orgasm until age 23. (22:55) She talks about her first orgasm, difficulty orgasming, OCD, and how being disconnected from her body got in the way for a long time, and ironically, being emotionally drained by school and an unhealthy partnership finally overwhelmed her mind’s control. (30:40) Orgies! Plus non-monogamy, sex parties, BDSM, and MDMA. (34:35) Christine talks about relationship agreements and navigating a committed, non-monogamous relationship which emerged from sex party play. She compartmentalizes her non-primary relationships, like the person she sees only for BDSM. (43:40) Christine shares how being OCD and “high potential” shape her life and her sex life. (47:43) She wants to have kids but is also concerned about how it would impact her sex life. (51:00) Participation at sex parties can look like all different things, and can provide new ways to give and receive pleasure. (1:00:00) Things she’ll never do again, empowerment lessons from bondage, faking orgasms, achieving orgasms, oral, kink, smell, taste, talk, bodies, and other rapid-fire questions. The Lowdown (56:10) All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19395206

UNCUT – I haven’t told my husband my fetishes – Vin 05/27/2021

UNCUT – I haven’t told my husband my fetishes – Vin Vin goes from the prototypical good girl to a (nearly) fearless adventurer. She married young, and enjoys a positive and openly communicative sexual relationship with her husband. Vin opens up about how their initial struggle to achieve penis-in-vagina sex led her to explore erotica, kink, anal play, toys, plugs, and taboo porn, all in a curvy body. Vin is a 22-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as Indigenous, monogamous, bisexual, and married. She grew up in a Christian home and describes her body as “chunky.” Bookmark moments: (3:38) Vin shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, before the age of 7. Family movie night had the occasional “close your eyes!” scene, and she got curious with her pillow. (11:40) Growing up, her parents demonstrated healthy affection towards each other, but there was no sex talk and her older sisters were mum on the subject. The family all find out late that the eldest sister is gay; it doesn’t go over well with her religious parents. (17:30) Vin has no boyfriend before her husband. Partly because she’s the quintessential good girl, and partly because no one interests her. (23:45) Vin struggled with her body image growing up; her parents consciously kept them from being overweight “for health reasons.” Health talk can be code for fat phobia, and she’s still to this day untangling her personal physical truth from this cultural fear. (34:11) Vin talks about meeting her husband. (40:20) After they kiss, things get moving and Vin has a fully clothed orgasm from breast play that she still remembers as a stand-out moment. (47:17) Vin shares what her total lack of experience going into the marriage looked like. She’d never even used a tampon and couldn’t fit her husband. He gallantly suggests a small dildo, and they take their time learning her body together. (51:25) They explore anal play to assist with her vaginal difficulties. It helps! (57:35) Vin opens up about the things she never knew existed and wants to try. The Yes/No/Maybe checklist was an inspiration for her, and it opens up a lot of conversation with her husband (though she wants to explore more than he does). (1:01:20) Leah shares resources for body image and movement help for curvy or larger bodies. Vin wants to get comfortable with physical positions other than being on her back. They also discuss Literotica and how it can be used for learning and exploration as well as pleasure. (1:06:00) Vin talks about fantasizing about women and bisexual desires, and they discuss how getting turned on by things that are taboo doesn’t mean you want to do it in real life. The Lowdown (1:10:50) Resources: Curvy Girl Sex - : All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - YouTube - Leah's website - Podcast website - WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - EPISODE CREDITS: Host / Producer – Leah Carey () Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak /episode/index/show/goodgirlstalkaboutsex/id/19240751