Her Success Radio

There’s a missing link to high-achieving women’s ultimate success and happiness. Psychologist, author, and speaker Dr. Valerie Rein calls it Patriarchy Stress Disorder™ (PSD) — the trauma of 1000s years of oppression imprinted in our DNA. It acts as an invisible inner prison that holds us back from showing up in the world in our full authentic power, having it all, and fully enjoying it. Listen to her provocative interviews with women leaders and solo episodes on how PSD makes daring greatly a great challenge and holds us back as we work hard to lean in, take a bg leap, play big, and thrive. Learn how you can heal your way to the ultimate success and happiness you desire and deserve. Because the world deserves all of you, and you deserve to have it all -- and fully enjoy it.

Empowerment through Embodiment: From Shades of Beige to Bright Colors, with Bernadette Pleasant 02/14/2019

Woman vs Powerful Man: #MeToo, Trauma, Shame, and Healing with Karena Virginia 12/13/2018

Ali Brown: The Courage to Be Iconic 12/06/2018

Reclaiming your worth at work and in love 09/07/2018

Ancestral, cultural, and personal trauma keeps women from having it all 09/06/2018

What really holds you back and how to break free 08/28/2018

Jailbreak to save your relationship 08/23/2018

Women, money, power, and the trauma of oppression 08/23/2018

Anxiety and depression in women, the hidden cause 08/13/2018

Why women struggle to lean in, play big, and thrive 08/02/2018

The missing link to women's ultimate success and happiness 07/19/2018

Find and amplify your voice through media, with Angela Chee 02/22/2018

The power of investing in your dreams, with Nicole Feenstra 02/19/2018

Conscious parenting after divorce, with Dorcy Pruter 02/15/2018

Conscious parenting after divorce, with Dorcy Pruter You know how there are some people you meet who transform your life? Just one meeting can transform your life. Dorcy Pruter is one of those people. When I met her, I nicknamed her “The Good Witch.” She is so powerful in her presence. She is so astute, she's an intuitive coach, she's a serial entrepreneur. But these words really don't do her justice. This is one of those interviews that you simply must experience, because the experience itself, the experience of being in her energy is transformative. We talked about so many things. We talked about the obstacles that she had to overcome and she's facing right now on her success journey. We talked about her being a reluctant hero and really resisting going into the business and service that was her calling. She really didn't want to do it. Now 12 years later, her business has created a blueprint for reuniting families that gets court-mandated all over the world. The ripples of the good that she's creating in the world are incredible. We talk about parenting, we talk about conscious parenting. We talk about the inner child. If you grew up with a single parent, if your parents went through a divorce, if you're going through a divorce yourself or know somebody who is going through a divorce, it's a must, must, must listen to. You will learn so much as I have today. Oh, by the way, Dorcy has amazing initiatives to help beginner entrepreneurs and to help coaches who want to learn a powerful method, a powerful blueprint, and are called to work in the area of healing relationships between divorced parents and their children. Such deep healing of such deep raptures and so much good in the world. Let me delay you no longer. Please enjoy this fantastic interview. Take in Dorcy and allow yourself to be powerfully transformed. Make sure to leave us a comment down below in the comments section, and I will make sure that Dorcy sees any comments or questions that you have about what we talked about. Share with us your favorite takeaway. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to share it with your friends. We made some beautiful images for you to share on social — grab any of them from this blog post. As always, remember to tag @thedrvalerie on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I look forward to connecting with you in our next episode of Her Success Radio. Thank you so much for being here. We would love to hear your takeaways from this conversation! Please leave a comment at www.hersuccessradio.com If you enjoy our show as much as we enjoy making it for you, *please share it on social media www.hersuccessradio.com and tag @thedrvalerie on all social, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook* Thank you for sharing with your fellow Her Success revolutionaries, and thank you for being one! Thank you for tuning in, listening, and watching. Here’s to your success! Enjoy the show. For complete show notes, resources mentioned on the show, FREE GIFTS from Dr. Valerie and her amazing guests, and a chance to WIN something awesome, please visit www.hersuccessradio.com /episode/index/show/inchargeshow/id/6265432

Use your gifts to make money, change the world with Marie Forleo 02/07/2018

Feminine wisdom to guide our evolution, with author Sarah Drew 02/07/2018

Feminine leadership + self-love, serial entrepreneur Alexis Asbe 02/07/2018

Discover your greatness with actor and coach Bonnie Gillespie 02/07/2018

Network marketing millionaire and mindful parent, Anna Lozano 02/07/2018

The Women That We Can Become: Do The Next Right Thing, with Vivian Glyck 10/27/2017

Help people, make money, and change the world, with Denise Duffield-Thomas 08/28/2017

Fearless and loving path of a peaceful warrior with Dr. Avis Jones-Deweever 08/21/2017

Discover your mission, guidance, and trust to build a successful business with Melinda Cohan. 08/14/2017

Navigating Travel, Day Trading, and Life with The Trader Chick: Empowering children to have a life of adventure by teaching them entrepreneurship skills 08/09/2017

Skinny does not equal happy, with Elyse Sparkes 03/31/2017

Skinny does not equal happy, with Elyse Sparkes Skinny does not equal happy: How to shed shame, boost your confidence, and bring your full self to life She was cast as a hippo in a ballet. She spent years chasing the body ideal that was unhealthy and unsustainable. Elyse shares what she learned on her journey as a dancer and fitness instructor about overcoming body shame, boosting confidence, and bringing her full self to life. "The message that happy equals skinny was so ingrained in me," Elyse said. Her mom has been on every diet, from the grapefruit diet to the carrot diet. Her grandma would look at Elyse when she was super skinny and light up: "You look skinny!" And when she didn't look super skinny, she would day, "You look... healthy." When her grandma got tongue cancer and had only 1/3 of her tongue left and lost a ton of weight, she said: "It's the best thing that happened to me. I'm finally at my ideal weight." Elyse has been a dancer since age 3. Leotards. Type casting for parts in a ballet about animals. She was cast as a hippo. She was not overweight, but she was curvier than other girls. She remembers that moment, looking around the room from inside the hippo costume... She remembers "a deep feeling of shame... Almost like everyone in the room knew something about me that I didn't know." Her story brought up a memory for me. I was in a school gym class... Maybe I was 10, or 11, or 12... Looking around at all these naturally skinny girls in shorts. I was embarrassed to wear shorts. I felt my thighs were too big. I was not overweight, but I wasn't super skinny. I remember sitting there on a gym wooden bench, uncomfortable in shorts, looking down at my inner thighs, lifting them off the bench and pressing them together, so they would appear thinner. When no one was looking, I would pinch and pull on the flesh, wishing it would go away, magically disappear, so I too would have the holy grail of a thigh gap... It was a deep desire, from the bottom of a child's heart. Have you ever felt body shame? Have you ever judged another woman for the way she looked? (Maybe not out loud, but in your mind?) Have you ever judged yourself for not having "the right" kind of body? Have you ever judged yourself for judging other women? Gawd it's been so messed up, growing up a girl in this f---ed up patriarchy. Seriously. So much healing for us to do. Speaking of healing, in this episode, I share about my experience at Mama Gena's (www.mamagenas.com) Mastery weekend in NYC. If you don't know Mama Gena, give yourself the exquisite pleasure of discovering her blog and her books, and The Womanly Arts Experience. It will change your life. It has changed mine. Tune in and hear all about it. Along with Elyse's story of healing her own body shame, getting off the treadmill of that "body ideal" that she could never realistically maintain, and reclaiming her health, her beauty, her vitality... And her tips on how you too can bring your full self to life. Oh, the sweet feeling of shedding the shame and feeling comfortable and joyful in your body! Links and Resources: Visit her website www.elysesparkes.com Discover your Fast Track to Fit & Flexible www.elysesparkes.com/fasttrack Learn how to create an effective at-home workout routine you’ll love (and want to stick to) with Mindful Fitness Coach, Elyse Sparkes. Throughout this 2 week course you’re going to easily start working out at home, build strength, endurance + flexibility, and boost your confidence so you can be on the fast track to feeling great in your body and your mind. Instagram: @elysesparkes Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elysesparkes.ignitehealth Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments. If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us. Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show: www.yourtrueselfie.com www.inchargequiz.com In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it. I look forward to connecting with you soon! Until then, Stay in your heart. xx Valerie In this episode, we talk about: body shame, skinny, happy, dance, body, weight watchers, anorexia, eating disorder, mindfulness, fitness, joy, workout, full self, deep listening, embodiment, confidence, mind, feel great, women, patriarchy, entrepreneur /episode/index/show/inchargeshow/id/5219852

Skinny does not equal happy 03/31/2017

Skinny does not equal happy Skinny does not equal happy: How to shed shame, boost your confidence, and bring your full self to life She was cast as a hippo in a ballet. She spent years chasing the body ideal that was unhealthy and unsustainable. Elyse shares what she learned on her journey as a dancer and fitness instructor about overcoming body shame, boosting confidence, and bringing her full self to life. "The message that happy equals skinny was so ingrained in me," Elyse said. Her mom has been on every diet, from the grapefruit diet to the carrot diet. Her grandma would look at Elyse when she was super skinny and light up: "You look skinny!" And when she didn't look super skinny, she would day, "You look... healthy." When her grandma got tongue cancer and had only 1/3 of her tongue left and lost a ton of weight, she said: "It's the best thing that happened to me. I'm finally at my ideal weight." Elyse has been a dancer since age 3. Leotards. Type casting for parts in a ballet about animals. She was cast as a hippo. She was not overweight, but she was curvier than other girls. She remembers that moment, looking around the room from inside the hippo costume... She remembers "a deep feeling of shame... Almost like everyone in the room knew something about me that I didn't know." Her story brought up a memory for me. I was in a school gym class... Maybe I was 10, or 11, or 12... Looking around at all these naturally skinny girls in shorts. I was embarrassed to wear shorts. I felt my thighs were too big. I was not overweight, but I wasn't super skinny. I remember sitting there on a gym wooden bench, uncomfortable in shorts, looking down at my inner thighs, lifting them off the bench and pressing them together, so they would appear thinner. When no one was looking, I would pinch and pull on the flesh, wishing it would go away, magically disappear, so I too would have the holy grail of a thigh gap... It was a deep desire, from the bottom of a child's heart. Have you ever felt body shame? Have you ever judged another woman for the way she looked? (Maybe not out loud, but in your mind?) Have you ever judged yourself for not having "the right" kind of body? Have you ever judged yourself for judging other women? Gawd it's been so messed up, growing up a girl in this f---ed up patriarchy. Seriously. So much healing for us to do. Speaking of healing, in this episode, I share about my experience at Mama Gena's (www.mamagenas.com) Mastery weekend in NYC. If you don't know Mama Gena, give yourself the exquisite pleasure of discovering her blog and her books, and The Womanly Arts Experience. It will change your life. It has changed mine. Tune in and hear all about it. Along with Elyse's story of healing her own body shame, getting off the treadmill of that "body ideal" that she could never realistically maintain, and reclaiming her health, her beauty, her vitality... And her tips on how you too can bring your full self to life. Oh, the sweet feeling of shedding the shame and feeling comfortable and joyful in your body! Links and Resources: Visit her website www.elysesparkes.com Discover your Fast Track to Fit & Flexible www.elysesparkes.com/fasttrack Learn how to create an effective at-home workout routine you’ll love (and want to stick to) with Mindful Fitness Coach, Elyse Sparkes. Throughout this 2 week course you’re going to easily start working out at home, build strength, endurance + flexibility, and boost your confidence so you can be on the fast track to feeling great in your body and your mind. Instagram: @elysesparkes Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elysesparkes.ignitehealth Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments. If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us. Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show: www.yourtrueselfie.com www.inchargequiz.com In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it. I look forward to connecting with you soon! Until then, Stay in your heart. xx Valerie In this episode, we talk about: body shame, skinny, happy, dance, body, weight watchers, anorexia, eating disorder, mindfulness, fitness, joy, workout, full self, deep listening, embodiment, confidence, mind, feel great, women, patriarchy, entrepreneur /episode/index/show/inchargeshow/id/5219851

Skinny does not equal happy 03/31/2017

Embodied and Empowered, with Angelina Lombardo 03/10/2017

Embodied and Empowered, with Angelina Lombardo Embodied and Empowered, with Angelina Lombardo Listening to the body to find healing, purpose, and liberation Angelina: Absolutely. That's definitely where the liberation lied for me going in. The body actually was an important role in the diagnosis. The diagnosis was for my body. My body had this illness. Where did I take that? What I had known before was that I was trying to live an authentic life, that I thought that being on the path of trying to develop myself. I believed I was doing the best that I can and I was. I absolutely was, but then the body comes into play, and because it had gone through so much trauma in the past there was a true disconnection. Through that process I was able to come back together with the body, because I know that for me my body tells me everything. That's where that liberation for me, the anxiety where that lives in my body. What story does that tell me? Each day is different, so not getting it right is really important. Every day is about being right there. VB: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. It takes a lot of wisdom to listen to your body. Of course with trauma this disconnection that you're talking about, yes that's what happens. The body is no longer safe to be in, so of course we flee. People think about trauma, a lot of people think about trauma like something, only something life threatening and huge. I just want to communicate to all listening right now that there could be so many little traumas that you may not even remember, but your body remembers. Your body doesn't forget anything, and so when you find yourself anxious, when you find yourself hesitating before putting yourself out there in any way check in with your body with a lot of love and compassion. Listen to that voice, listen where that anxious energy is, because it's trying to protect you from something that it's perceiving as dangerous. When we listen to the body it will tell us what we need to know. I would love to hear from you Angelina, what is your process of tapping into your body wisdom? Angelina: You know there's not just one process. I know I actually went through several modalities during the process of healing. I think on a daily basis I would say breath is huge for me, and grounding my feet, legs. As we did before this interview is really my starting point to any moment I'm trying to connect to that, because for me like you said the body ... From a very young age my body was not safe to be in. I lived unembodied for a lack of better words, for most of my life. I work everyday on being embodied in everything that I do as a human being. Instead of trying to enlighten and leave this planet, I'm here, I'm human, and I am spending everyday bringing myself back into my body. The breath and the grounding always is my first place to start. From there I'll listen. What do I need? Sometimes I need water, sometimes I need sound, sometimes I need essential oils, sometimes I need another voice, sometimes I need to speak my truth. I need voice, I need to be seen and heard. It's different, but that's the first place is that. Is the breath. VB: I love it. Angelina: Body scan. VB: Breath. Checking in with your breath, connecting with your breathing, feeling your feet on the ground, and then scanning your body to see ... Angelina: What it wants. VB: To listen yeah. What my body needs right now. I love this respectful honoring attitude that you bring into the process. Angelina: I believe really it's an integral part of being a human being. VB: Yes. What you said, although people who are on the spiritual path we're all aware that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. It is so important that the human experience is in the body. It is through the body that we have it. Yeah. Some spiritual practices may bypass the body. Angelina: Absolutely, absolutely. VB: They situate in the mind, and that is so dangerous. I would even go as far as saying with some unfortunate situations with spiritual communities where abuse happened and unethical things happened, I would venture to theorize that it was because people were disconnected. The leaders were disconnected from their bodies, and they could not have an ethical relationship with the followers unless they were fully embodied. That's my take on that. Angelina: Yeah, yeah. Well you know in trying to heal myself from a very young age I knew that I was in trouble. That was one of the places that I searched for, were other people, safe places. A lot of times those safe places just kept me very in my head with my mind. That's kind of how I worked my ... That's how I survived my life was thinking, and being on my toes, and responding. A chameleon. What does my environment need from me, and that's what I would do. It would come from my chin to the top of my head. That's where it would happen, that process. I was never able to drop in, they were always giving me messages like we need to be enlightened. This is what we're doing on the planet is for love, compassion. It never recognized the human experience or the darker parts of what that was. It never allowed for me to be in the seat of that dark night at the soul, so to speak, even though I was already there on a continuous basis. It was a little ... It was great, because I obviously was able to see what was going on there and make the shifts. Yeah, I agree sometimes those can be ... How do you say? It could prolong or cause ... Actually it caused more, it put more on top of what I already was carrying. VB: Yeah. I have to agree with you there. There's a lot of secondary trauma that can happen. Angelina: That’s it. That's it right there. Also therapy. VB: I was just about to say, you took the words right out of my mouth. As a therapist myself and having been in therapy for years with different therapists I grew to recognize that, but I only grew to recognize it once I began learning from and practicing bringing together the mind, the body, and the spirit. Learning from the Pioneers of the integration models. Traditional therapy is completely disembodied. When I learned about therapy in both my masters and my PhD, well my PhD was different, but my Masters’ program at Columbia. The only time the body was mentioned kind of by implication was when they told us not to sleep with our clients. <both laughing> … Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments. If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us. Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show: www.yourtrueselfie.com www.inchargequiz.com In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it. I look forward to connecting with you soon! Until then, Stay in your heart. xx Valerie In this episode, we talk about: trauma, coaching, therapy, embodiment, anxiety, healing, women entrepreneurs, success, body, illness, liberation /episode/index/show/inchargeshow/id/5157186

Led to success, with Michelle Bridger 03/03/2017

Led to success, with Michelle Bridger Led to success, with Michelle Bridger Spiritual practice for vision, clarity, purpose, and winning business decisions How did you begin to discover your special gifts, your superpowers that ultimately fed into the business you created? I think it was more that they were revealed. I really struggled with believing the lies that I'm not capable. That was a big one for me. Feeling like I didn't have a lot to offer. It's been such a gift to be able to land in a place where I can see that I am capable, I have much to offer, I'm highly sought after. It's really been such a gift, but it is through that asking. I would go on those walks and be able to say, "I don't even know what I'd be good at. Show me what skills I have, show me how I was made, show me ... " Yeah, "Just show me what skills I have, show me what I'd be good at." I just didn't even really know. I knew certain things, like I've always been really tenacious, I've always been a good researcher. I've always showed great initiative. I've always been really good at follow-through. There's certain things that I knew that I had, but in the bigger picture… to run a business… I wouldn't even had known where to start in the business. It was really through the process of asking, layer upon layer, that I was able to start seeing that what a gift being able to land in advertising field was and that I'm able to see things maybe that other people or ... that people appreciate is probably a good way to say it about what will work in advertising. What won't work. What to try. What not to try. And cut through the clutter of that. Does that answer your question? Yes. Thank you. Again, asking, right? Asking and trusting what you're receiving. I know there are so many tools people use to find out about this strengths. There is the Strength Finder test, there are a lot of psychological assessments. Some people recommend asking people who know you very well to tell you what you're good at. These are all valid data collection tools, but I feel that the spiritual vehicle that you are describing, it just goes further. Even people who know you, and certainly the tests, they may be missing something, because they've known you up to now, but there is a bigger vision for you. Your life has a bigger vision for you, or God, in whatever way you conceive of that, and to tap into that bigger vision, we need a spiritual vehicle. Other people don't know that and certainly psychological or aptitude tests don't know anything about our bigger vision. All they measure is how to date we have been showing up in the world. There are so many ways in which we have not revealed our capacities and our greatness in particular areas. They're just waiting. They're waiting, they're like little buds on trees waiting to blossom and sometimes invisible when you're asking for them to be revealed to you. This is so powerful. You're trusting it and then that self-talk, those lies, as you've called them, the lies about your own inaptitude and that, "Who do you think you are?" And, "You're not good at that," and, "You have nothing of value." Those lies get washed away, because it's the source that’s speaking to you. The source is not going to lie, it's not going to mislead you. In a sense, that's also a confidence fix right there and then, wouldn't you say so? I would say do, yes. I loved the analogy that you used about the buds that there's hidden gems within all of us that we don't even know. What a shame it would be if that bud never opened. I ask the same thing from my kids, reveal to them and to others what they're good at, because so often we think we're not good at very many things and we wouldn't want those buds to stay dormant and never be revealed. That would be such a loss. It’s so important to stay attuned to the movements of energy within that want to push those buds open. We can't block that and if we do, if we attempt to block that, then there are consequences that are difficult because life needs to find a way to bring us face to face with our gifts, regardless, so it's going to find a way. Sometimes it does take something devastating and life-altering, like a divorce or a health crisis. I see it a lot in the people I work with on the journey of transformation because they get on the journey, as you said, out of desperation. Desperation is such a powerful place. Resources: Visit Michelle’s website www.michellebridger.com Claim your free gift at www.michellesfreegift.com Get in touch with Michelle at michelle@michellebridger.com Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments. If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us. Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show: www.yourtrueselfie.com www.inchargequiz.com In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it. I look forward to connecting with you soon! Until then, Stay in your heart. xx Valerie In this episode, we talk about: God, Facebook, divorce, successful, mompreneur, entrepreneur, mom, business owner, building a business, Christian, success, spiritual, practice, vision, clarity, purpose, winning, making decisions /episode/index/show/inchargeshow/id/5136649

Gratitude through trauma, with Melissa Binkley 02/24/2017

Gratitude through trauma, with Melissa Binkley Gratitude through trauma, with Melissa Binkley Create a masterpiece from the mess of your life After trauma, do you sink into the darkness of shame, self-hate, and self-destruction? Or do you reclaim your gifts, start a movement, and become a channel for healing and empowerment? Melissa has traveled both paths. May her story of transformation empower your journey. Breakdown before the breakthrough How did your journey begin? In 2009 everything started to fall apart. The big breakdown before the breakthrough. I lost my home, my partner, and my job. All within a six month time period. I ended up homeless. I would live in my car or stay at people’s places and not really explain what was going on. I was melting on the inside. Things were falling apart. I was dealing with former eating disorders and drug issues. My body was in this place of complete and utter shutdown. My health was going. I didn’t have a place to live. I didn’t have a job. I dropped to my knees and I was like, “What’s the answer here? What am I missing?” Everybody talks about that moment, that quietness, that peace that happens to them. That happened to me in 2009. I had a friend who came and picked me up from a night of excessive drinking and took me to her house. I woke up the next morning and I had this level peace. I went from being distraught and mind blown and crying. To two days of absolute nothingness. At the time I asked her “What the hell did you do to me?” She was like, “I just did some work on you to take you out of that space.” She was my first spiritual guide. Pulling down the veil of the mirror to stand tall I started in on this journey of healing and transforming my life and working on loving my body. I first went to heal my body physically. But as I started getting healthy in my body I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. I had spent years being really thin. I had been judging myself so much on my outer appearance and found out it was really connected to my inner soul. There has been such a war on the female body. We were sanctioned from showing skin and wearing certain kinds of clothes. Can you talk a little more of how you transformed your relationship with your body? What was your journey of becoming friends and lovers with your body, as opposed to being at war with yourself? I was raped in 1994. I believe that we are allowed to show our skin but it is not giving us any more freedom than the women who are completely covered, at all. That was a piece of my reclamation and being asked, “What were you wearing?” It was a brutal rape. I was locked in a garage. And had to fight for my right to say: “I was doing nothing wrong." I was wearing a basketball jersey and jeans. I had to reclaim it for myself and say “my body, my vagina, everything is okay with me." I have a right to be empowered with that. I love to be naked but it was for a long time that I just wanted to cover up. I literally had to pull down the veil of the mirror. I had to look at myself in the mirror everyday and say, “I love you." And touch my body and caress it. Even the pieces of me that weren’t ‘beautiful’ as what I thought society thought was ‘beautiful’, saying “I love that piece of you." The stretch marks from having my baby. I used to hide in the corner. I didn’t want to be seen. I wanted to be small. To learning to take that power pose, and throwing my shoulders back and being proud of the height that I was. It started with self-love. It started with looking myself in the mirror and saying “I love you." And then it started working on the soul piece, that I am just not my body. My body is a tool that I am using in this lifetime to learn things, but it is not who I am. I was a dissociator. I would literally escape my body to get out of situations. If I thought I was going to get hurt or emotions started to come up I would checkout. I had to learn to ground into it and take care of it on a health level that honors it. Rebelling as a means to heal How did you go from slouching and wanting to disappear to showing up and standing tall? For me it started out as a rebellion. I was like, “You told me I have to be this way, you told me that this is the way it is going to be, and I refuse to accept this anymore." And that’s where the tattoos came from, and the piercings, and the hair. It was me stepping out and rebelling against society, saying “I am tired of being told I have to do things your way… I’m not afraid to use my voice and if you don’t like me I don’t care, I have enough friends anyway… I don’t need you to like me, for me to stand true to who I am.” I used that hard exterior as a way to work on healing the inside. Brain bliss Would you talk about your process and how this healing comes through you? Some of the things that you really want to be focused on when you’re working on healing yourself is what my client has termed “Brain Bliss." Meditation. Three minutes of peace. Understanding the duality, the disconnect from where we at right now. Not just about silencing the brain but connecting to a higher source and something deeper. The only way to do that is to work on deepening our connection to spirit. One of the processes that I use with my clients when it comes to healing is if you have somebody in your life that you have not forgiven writing a letter to that person. Then you take it and burn it, or you rip it up. And you keep doing that day in and day out. I’ve seen it can take at the most 12 days to really transform the way that you experience that person and everything that is connected to them. It works in such a powerful way. The journey to gratitude You would not be who you are today had you not experienced what you experienced and had you not done the healing that you have done. It was definitely a journey. I call it Gratitude Through Trauma. In March of last year I went back to my hometown for the first time in 13 years. Thirteen years prior to that I drove into my hometown and I drove past the place where I had been raped. I was a drug dealer at the time, I was unhealthy, I was in a really bad mindset. I drove past the place and I was like “F*** this." Fast forward thirteen years later, my daughter is running track at my old high school. I drive to this town. I drive past the exact same spot again. I stopped the car in the middle of the road and I turned off the engine. I literally got tears in my eyes and I said “Thank you." I would not be where I am today if that had not happened to me. It changed everything for me. My basketball coach back in the day, who was the only person that stood for me, now 20 years later he’s at this meet. I walk up and give him a hug and I get the opportunity to tell him how much I love him. Gratitude I had for him. Gratitude for that situation. Gratitude for all of it. You may not find the gratitude right now, but when you get to that point, you know that you have transformed your life. The blessings in disguise of the synchronicities of the universe When you start paying attention, all the things you think are coincidences are the divine order of blessings stepping in, so you can find your path, so you can step into your truth. The past summer I went to Europe with my daughter. The day we got to this spiritual Eco society, my credit card was stolen. I was only supposed to stay at this spiritual Eco society for five days. It forced me to stay at this society. In that, a book fell off the shelf that ended up changing my life. I got readings and healings that completely transformed everything. That is synchronicity and the way the universe works. When you think something is a failure or something is bad, it is really not. Look for the blessing and the bigger picture story of what is really happening in your life. Using wisdom and intuition to heal You took my quiz, Your True Selfie. [www.yourtrueselfie.com] I am dying to know what your result is and if it fits into your story of your life. Wisdom. [www.yourtrueselfie.com] What I have been told by my guides and what I am here to do, I am supposed to be a teacher. They call me the “Great awakener." I am here to shake things up and snap people out of their shit. Wisdom for me is connecting and bringing in the wisdom from other dimensions and bringing it into this lifetime. I am here to bridge the gap. Be the bridge to people who are on the other side. Bring in signs of spirituality and show that it is all connected. Links and Resources: **Mention that you heard her interview on Valerie’s podcast to receive a complimentary session from Melissa** (limited availability) Visit her website: www.melissabinkley.com for a complimentary session, and to find out about the Intuitive Intelligence Academy or to schedule into virtual latte with Melissa Follow her on Facebook and Instagram (@melissabinkley) Did you enjoy the show? Let us know your biggest takeaways in the comments. If you like what we’re doing, please subscribe to #InChargeShow in iTunes and leave us a review and a 5-star rating, to help more women who won’t settle find us. Follow the links to take the quizzes we discussed on the show: www.yourtrueselfie.com www.inchargequiz.com In the free report at the end of each quiz, you’ll get an invitation to join our Facebook community. I hope you accept it. I look forward to connecting with you soon! Until then, Stay in your heart. xx Valerie In this episode, we talk about: trauma, sexual, assault, rape, transformation, healing, drug, addiction, self-love, self-acceptance, body image, healthy, gratitude, confidence, business, success, empowerment, women Quotes “The big breakdown before the breakthrough.” “I had been judging myself so much on my outer appearance and found out it was really connected to my inner soul.” “I literally had to pull down the veil of the mirror. I had to look at myself in the mirror everyday and say I love you’.” “My body is a tool that I am using in this lifetime to learn things, but it is not who I am.” “I don’t need you to like me for me to stand true to who I am.” “You may not find the gratitude right now, but when you get to that point you know that you have transformed your life.” “When you start paying attention, all the things you think are coincidences are the divine order of blessings stepping in so you can find your path, so you can step into your truth.” “When you think something is a failure or something is bad, it is really not. Look for the blessing and the bigger picture story of what is really happening in your life.” /episode/index/show/inchargeshow/id/5109289

Her Success Radio

TOPICS