LadyHD

A podcast for distractible women. It’s ladies. With ADHD. Talking about ADHD. Hosted by Jenn Welch, a lady with ADHD. LadyHD.

Find My Sock with Maggie Mae Fish 09/15/2021

Whatcha Googlin with Dan Perlman 08/25/2021

Whatcha Googlin’ with Steven Conrad 08/11/2021

Hammering Iron Into Sheets with Sarah Peele 08/06/2021

Over and over and over again with Lyssa Mandel 07/22/2021

Whatcha Googlin’ with Andrea Allan 07/08/2021

LadyHD presents GreyDHD 06/30/2021

Learning to Leave with Liz Cordeiro 05/12/2021

OPPOSITE DAY with Keisha Zollar 05/05/2021

Whatcha Googlin’ with Brett White 04/28/2021

ABSOLUTE. UTTER. CHAOS with Youngmi Mayer 04/21/2021

ABSOLUTE. UTTER. CHAOS with Youngmi Mayer Comedian and podcast host Youngmi Mayer (Feeling Asian) joins Jenn to talk starting late, divorcing young, and mom’ing in a panic. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE BELOW FOLLOW YOUNGMI: Insta | Twitter | TikTok: @ymmayer FOLLOW JENN: Insta | Twitter: @jennwelchnow FOLLOW LADYHD: Insta | Twitter | TikTok: @ladyhdpod PRODUCED BY LEFT HANDED RADIO: Insta | Twitter: @lefthandedradio ***** LOVE THE PODCAST? WANT TO HELP SUPPORT PRODUCTION COSTS? Join and get sweet perks / goodies or Leave a tip in Very rough, not proofread, episode transcript: Jenn Welch 0:00 Hey friends If you liked ADHD and you want to support the podcast, go to patreon.com slash lady HD, there is tiers and levels and goodies and prizes. So check it out. This is where the theme song should go ba ba, ba ba ba, ba, ADHD. Oh my gosh, it's time I am here. I'm am I awake? I don't know, guys. It's lady HD, a podcast for distractible women. I'm your host, Jenn Welch I am. Ah, deep breath. That was more of an exhale. Okay, so I am here today with my guest who I'm so excited to have on the podcast. Because of for so many reasons, but especially because I won't get into it. But um, she has an amazing podcast called feeling Asian that she hosts with another very funny comedian named Brian Park. Um, and she is great. And everybody is clapping for you. Just a heads up. Everybody's so excited. It's like worrying, like the audience is so loud. It's guys. Here she is Youngmi Mayer. Yay. Hi. Youngmi Mayer 1:12 Hi, john. How are you? Jenn Welch 1:14 Oh my god. I'm here. How are you? Youngmi Mayer 1:20 I'm really good. I um, I had I had a like a zoom work call today one zoom meeting and it you know, it ruined my entire life. I'm completely wiped out. Jenn Welch 1:34 Yes. Was it same minute saying? Oh my god. Yeah. I if I have one thing on my to do list these days that involves interacting with another person. That's it. Like, I it's too much. Youngmi Mayer 1:47 Yeah, it's done. It's over. Yeah. And then I knew that I would. I was gonna do this with you at six. So like, starting at four, I started like, spiraling and being like, I can't do it. I gotta lay down in bed and just get ready for 6pm. Doing Jenn Welch 2:06 having, you don't have ADD? I don't know what you're talking about. I that's incredible. And yes, um, I Okay, before we get too far in, because I normally do this before we start and you might remember this from improv class, but um, I, I because we I like my conversations to be loosey goosey. And like, kind of just see where they go. So if at any point, we get to something where you're like, I don't want to talk about that, Jen. You can just yell boundaries. And I'll yell boundaries. And then we'll like cheer and move on. Because we celebrate boundaries in life. Okay, so that's just I'm putting that out there. So you know, if we get into anything weird, not like, I don't can't even imagine what we would get to that I would be like, but who knows? Some people have things where they're like, I don't want to talk about that in a podcast. You don't I mean, yeah, Youngmi Mayer 2:55 I have no boundaries. So it's probably not going to happen. I would be shocked if it happened. Giving me that option. Jenn Welch 3:03 Of course, of course, I'm. So we actually met a few years ago, when I was teaching improv, and you came in and you were a student. And you were so funny. Oh, you're so but you were so quiet. And I remember just being like, She's so funny. And then I remember you asking me like something about like, doing sketch comedy, or doing stand up and I was like, please do it, please do it, please do it. And then all of a sudden, I started seeing your name pop up everywhere. And I just have been like, over here just like kind of, not to be a creep. Okay, not to be a creep, but I've been, but I've been, you know, you keep track of certain people. And I've been over here just kind of like watching you like, like, blooming again, blossom, you know, and I it's just been so exciting to see. And I you're just like fucking killing it. And I think you're funnier than me. And, and that's true. I just want to put that out there. But like, Youngmi Mayer 4:10 you're allowed to have your feelings but you know, that doesn't mean that they're true. Jenn Welch 4:14 That's right. feelings aren't facts. But it's been so awesome to see cuz I just remember you being in class and and again, just like being this like, a quiet, like, certain students are just like quiet thunder, like, you know, like they're not that was like, outgoing. Like, I don't want to say you're not outgoing. Because clearly, you know, you know, whatever. But um, yeah, what Tell me tell me things. Youngmi Mayer 4:41 You know what's so crazy Jen? I like so I had this like whole so I started comedy very late. I'm like, old I'm like 36 I started when I was 33. I think I was in your class. Yeah. And it's like something I wanted to do all my life and it was like the sort of like, like something happened in therapy where I had like enough. epiphany and I was like, I gotta do this now whatever, right? And then, and now I'm like very loud and extrovert I'm like comfortable doing stand up, I can talk in front of a room of people clip just been doing it for three years, which isn't that long, but I've just been doing it every day. But I I, for most of my life until I was 33. I was like the person that you were describing, I was just very quiet and never said anything. I was really shy and, you know, like, like, anxious all the time. And he never talks out loud. And so it's interesting to hear you say that, because I forget so often that that I've only recently like, sort of come out of my shell. Jenn Welch 5:40 Yes. So here's that. Here's the thing that I don't tell you guys what I'm teaching. But I didn't start I may have mentioned this, but like, I didn't start doing improv. I was also a late joiner to The Club. I didn't start doing improv until I was 30. And I, I was writing comedy before that, but I avoided performing at all costs, because I hated being in front of people. And I hated like having to talk in front of a group. And, and I was so like, scared to like, talk in front of anybody. And then. And then I did improv, and I was like, holy shit. And then eventually, like, stand up was like what I wanted to be doing right. And that took me like, a few years to like, get there. So I didn't start stand up until I was 34. And, yeah, and I, I think I'm making assumptions. But I, I'm just going to talk about my experience. But when I started improv, also, it was because of a therapy session where we put together a SMART goal. And it like a SMART goal is like, specific, measurable. actionable, I think, realistic and timely, or something like that. Anyway, so so it was like, it's something you like, take an action on. It's realistic in like a reasonable amount of time. And so my SMART goal that we put together was for me to sign up for a level zero improv class. Oh, wow. Yeah. And that like, is just kind of like, what kicked it off. And I was. At that point, I was seven years into a while, I mean, three years into the marriage, but seven years into a very bad relationship. Wow. And so he was a musician, and everything revolved around him doing music. And so for me to like, do this was like a big deal. And that doing that class gave me confidence down the line, to be able to get out of that marriage and that situation. And like, basically, I don't even recognize who I was, anymore. Youngmi Mayer 7:52 Well, you know, that's, that's also very similar. I wasn't in a horrible relationship, but I wasn't in a long term relationship. I was married. Yeah. And, and I was supporting his career to, uh huh. And it wasn't a bad like, he is fine. But I just didn't want that role in life, like the caretaker role. And I think we were so used to that being like me being like, his manager or something. And I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. And then we got divorced. And then like, around the same time, I think I got divorced right after starting your class, I think that fall or the next spring or something like that. So. So that's so interesting that we have so many similarities. Jenn Welch 8:33 Yeah. Yeah. It's It's crazy how that like, and when I say it was like, a bad relationship. It was. It wasn't like, oh, he like MMA. I mean, yeah, yeah. But it was healthy for you. I was like, a shell of a person. Like, yeah, yeah. It was like a very, and a lot of it. Like, I mean, not a lot of it, but a big part of it was Unknown 8:57 I Jenn Welch 8:59 trying to, like, be a wife that he wanted me to be when I have ADHD and I'm constantly like, fighting against all of my, like, natural impulses to like, yeah, a wife who manages groceries and keeps the house clean and close and all of that stuff. Youngmi Mayer 9:22 I like don't know, when I wake up, I wake up every single day in a panic. Not sure what's gonna happen. Yeah, it's like so bad. And you know, I have a son and it's, I feel bad because I feel like he has like, he has some like, not behavioral issues, but he has like, he struggles with certain things at school because I think because of me, you know, not not to like be too hard on myself. But like, the teacher will be like, well, when's his bath time I'm like, I don't know. I don't even I sometimes I give him a bath. And I'm just like, like, sometimes at 9am sometimes At 3pm I like I don't you don't I mean, yeah, when When does he go to bed? And I'm like, ah, I swear he's sleepy at night. I was like, it's for what I'm trying to fix that for him. But like, oh, but I wanted to say the thing about the Epiphany, the thing that I had in my therapy session, it was really crazy. Because you you said, like, you set like an actionable goal or something like that. Yeah. What happened for me was like, my entire life. I always wanted to do comedy, right? Yeah. And I had literally never told a single person in my entire life. And then one day in therapy, my therapist was like, well, like, we were like, discussing these problems that I had with like, my ex husband or whatever. And then one day, she, I just was like, I've always wanted to be a stand up comedian. She was like, that's so weird. I've like never heard you say anything like that. You've never even said anything close to ever wanting to perform. I just said it out loud. Yeah, I was like, just like, oh, like, that's so weird. I've never heard any like, literally, but in the back of my head. I've been thinking about it for my entire life. Like I just heard myself. And so I said out loud, and literally that next day, I signed up for like, open mics, and I just started doing them every day. And it was like, yeah, it's not crazy. Jenn Welch 11:21 I love it. I know, right? It's like so scary to say that first thing I didn't tell anybody about the wanting to be a stand up thing until it was in 2004. When I told a friend while we were drunk at the Toronto Film Festival, I was working for a film studio at the time. And some friends of my husband, who are I mean, they weren't close friends, but he was acquaintances with the Lonely Island guys, Andy Samberg, and your Matt taccone. And the other guy. So they had just gotten hired on SNL. And I was so jealous and I didn't even want to be in SNL. I don't want to be on SNL, but I wanted to be doing comedy. And I just remember like drunkenly telling a co worker that I wanted to do stand up, and I was like, mortified that I even said anything. Words, you know, it was like, Oh, um, but I Yeah, and I think that there is something to be said about. I mean, at least in my experience, like, just because I got a late start, and because I know I want it so bad, because here's the thing like you. I mean, I'll speak for myself, but I think that you'll relate to this, like, we've had the experience in our adult life of not doing comedy. So no matter how bad comedy gets, it's never as bad as not doing comedy. Yes. I also, yeah. Youngmi Mayer 12:55 spend the rest of my life doing open mics and get hooked on, like getting booked on a bar show. That's so exciting for me to. Like, I never even thought that I was allowed to do what I wanted to do, you know, like, to go to the back of a bar and someone's do stand up in front of three people. That's amazing. Jenn Welch 13:17 And then those three people are gonna laugh at what I'm saying. And even if they don't laugh at what I'm saying, it's like, I it's like, Okay, well, that's still not worse than the worst, you know. Exactly. Yeah. I sometimes, like I just remember, like, maybe being around where you're at, in terms of like years having done comedy, and just walking around New York City and being like, in my head, like, I'm a comedian in New York City. I'm a comedian in New York City. And it's like, a lot of comedians are like, Oh, I suck. Oh, everything sucks. And I'm like, every day is a miracle. Like, every day that I am able to do this. It's like a miracle. Youngmi Mayer 13:58 That's how I feel. I'm like, this is I'm so grateful. I have that kind of moment. The summer before quarantine, so I can two summers ago now. Where I was booked on the show at the UCB Hell's Kitchen like that big theater. Yeah. And it was summer, right? It was like June. And I was like wearing like a sun dress or something. And I was walking there. And I was like, kind of late. So I was like, get out of my way. I'm a comedian. And I was in that moment. I was like, Oh my God, look at me like I'm wearing a sun dress. I'm walking through like New York, Manhattan in the summer. And I'm going to this big theater where I'm going to perform. That was my one little moment I had. It's all downhill from there, Unknown 14:41 baby. Jenn Welch 14:43 Love it. I love it. Oh, it's so good. I'm so glad I've been like wanting to talk to you about this, like forever, but it's like is the conversation worth it if we're not recording it for an audience, you know, so I'm glad we're finally in. work. I leave finally. situate Youngmi Mayer 15:01 that this is the first time we've talked since your class, right? So yeah, yeah, this is great. And then after we'll hang out. Jenn Welch 15:08 Yes. We will go for walks in the city and I will get outdoors. What? What's your dog? What's up everybody? Just imagine right now that young is holding a dog. Youngmi Mayer 15:18 A little Chihuahua. long haired Chihuahua. Her name is corn. Oh, and she's just beautiful bitch. Jenn Welch 15:26 beautiful little bit. Oh my god. I love her. I love her. Yeah. Um, back to AD add. You told me you got right. What are we talking about? You told me you got diagnosed. I I swear to God every day when I wake up. It's like I'm reinventing. Like, everything like that. Like, it's not like, Oh, you wake up, you get in the shower. And then you do this. And then you do that. It's like, I wake up and the possibilities are endless. And I'm frozen. It's like, yep, yeah. Okay, so anyways, nothing for three hours. Yep. I just want to say I relate to that. But you got diagnosed. You said earlier this year? No, Unknown 16:08 yeah. Youngmi Mayer 16:09 Wait, when? Well, I had like, what happened? God, I don't remember mice. So I had, okay, so my psychiatric journey, which is, you know, like the medical part, like, I obviously don't really like no, like, medication has ever worked for me. But it started with being diagnosed, diagnosed with depression. And, um, years ago. And then. And then, like this, I guess this is like, on unprofessional sort of diagnosis. But like years and years ago, in my early 20s, I did a lot of cocaine. And yeah. And like, for me, a lot of times I would do it and then I would fall asleep. Or I would feel like, I would feel like I did this. Maybe this is wrong. Maybe I'm misunderstanding this. But I, I am assuming that it's because I have ADHD, and it was sort of acting like, maybe like what Adderall does to Yeah, add? I don't know if that's correct. But I would just have a weird reaction to cocaine, like, a lot of times, it made me feel really calm, you know? Yeah. And then a lot of times, I would do a lot of it, I will talk a lot stuff. But like, sometimes it would just feel kind of different to me, I think, than other people. That is such an educated statements. I don't even know if that's Jenn Welch 17:26 accurate. But I felt like that's how a lot of people kind of find out it like a lot of people who are diagnosed. And when I say a lot of people these numbers are this is not scientific. But I hear for me, I read from a lot of people that I anecdotally, um, I mean, I noticed in college that whenever I did Adderall, did my friend's Adderall. I could actually, like, you know, it'd be party time, but I would be like, let's talk about the term papers we're supposed to be working on. Like, that's like, Youngmi Mayer 17:58 Yeah, I would do my roommates, Adderall, and I could sit down and do stuff. And I could never, I could never, you know, yeah. So then. So that's like, something I noticed just like by myself, and then, um, I just all the Add thing, I feel like it was meant. So like, I had a really bad psychiatrist, the one that I got all the antidepressants from, like, five, five or so years ago. And like, he sort of like mentioned it, but then I was sort of like, I didn't really like him. So I never really followed through and I stopped seeing him. And then, like I and I never in my head thought it was like something that was like, detrimental to my life. Like I thought it was like, it never really bothered me, like all these issues. But then during the pandemic, it's gotten completely out of hand. Like what you were saying about the sleeping thing. I sleep in two hour like patches. Yeah, I literally can't do one thing a day. Like I literally it would kill me to like, do one. I don't even know what I do. I do nothing. Yeah, worse. And then I get really overwhelmed. And then I get a bunch of anxiety. And then I'm always late, like I, um, I have this thing where like, I'll have to be somewhere in 15 minutes and I'll leave like 14 like what was one minute and I'm like, how did I think I was gonna get there and I just, I can't get out of I can't leave on time. Like, Jenn Welch 19:30 I know what that is. Once I'm out of my apartment, I tend to be kind of okay, as long as I didn't go someplace where I can settle in, right like if I were to say like say it's the old days and like the pits still open and maybe I would go in there and like work for a few hours and then I would have to go somewhere after that. I would be late to the thing I had to go to after that because I settled in and gotten comfortable or whatever. right but like leaving the apartment is a God dang nightmare. I I, I will not do anything for days. And then in the half hour before I need to go somewhere, I will suddenly be like, oh, now's the time to do all the things. Right? And yeah, I will start like, Oh, it's time to clean the oven. And it's like, no, it's not time to clean the oven. It's time to frickin go. And it's like, if my brain, okay, you know how like a dog sometimes, like when you went on, like, say you're taking your dog on a walk, and your dog happens to find like a sweet piece of pizza on the sidewalk in this one spot, right? One day, and you have to, like, get the piece of pizza out his mouth. Because it's like, No, no, no. But whatever. Um, I found that piece of pizza. And now every time you take your dog on the walk, it has to go check out that spot. Because one time there was pizza there. Right? Like, yeah, that is what my brain is like, with, with really quick commute times. Like, if one time I got from A to B, in a very short amount of time, like everything lined up, it just worked out. I do my brain, my brain is like, that's how long it takes. It takes that tiny amount of time to Yeah, Youngmi Mayer 21:10 I do that with my son's school. Because it's like, once we got an Uber... /episode/index/show/ladyhd/id/18805562

Furry Fidget Spinners with Hayden Kristal 04/14/2021

Furry Fidget Spinners with Hayden Kristal Comedian / Deaf queer activist / public speaker Hayden Kristal joins Jenn to discuss animals, motivation, and being a memorable side character. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT AVAILABLE BELOW FOLLOW HAYDEN: Insta | Twitter: @haydenkristal FOLLOW JENN: Insta | Twitter: @jennwelchnow FOLLOW LADYHD: Insta | Twitter | TikTok: @ladyhdpod PRODUCED BY LEFT HANDED RADIO: Insta | Twitter: @lefthandedradio ***** LOVE THE PODCAST? WANT TO HELP SUPPORT PRODUCTION COSTS? Join and get sweet perks / goodies or Leave a tip in TRANSCRIPT: Unknown 0:00 This is where the theme song should go. Bah bah, Unknown 0:02 bah, bah, Unknown 0:03 bah, bah, Unknown 0:05 ADHD. Jenn Welch 0:07 Let's just like get into this. Hi, everybody. This is Jenn Welch, your host of ADHD a podcast for distractible women, women and people with ADHD. And I am so excited for today's guest is one of the funniest people I've met. I caretaker to a menagerie of, of amazing animals. And I, public speaker extraordinaire and just all around cool person. Let's everybody is cheering and clapping for Hayden crystal. Yay. Hooray. Hayden Kristal 0:48 Thank you so much. That was such a nice intro. Thank you. Jenn Welch 0:51 Thank you. I just come up with it on the fly every time. Unknown 0:55 Really good. Unknown 0:59 podcast. Jenn Welch 1:02 I hope something comes out of my mouth. That is that is okay. Um, how are you? It's been so long since I've seen you. Hayden Kristal 1:10 I'm in Colorado with the critters. It's snowing today. Wow, that sucks. But I know I was really disappointed. I went out for a ride and then I was like out riding an athlete. Because this oh fuck that and I went home. Unknown 1:25 Not happy about it. Jenn Welch 1:26 Which which animal were you riding? Hayden Kristal 1:30 Squidward my baby. Jenn Welch 1:33 Oh, my goodness. Because there's a mule right? There's no mule, but there's five horses and three donkeys? Hayden Kristal 1:42 Oh, three donkeys. Okay, but a donkey. A donkey is a mix between a mule and a horse. Or is it? Okay, yeah, well, it's a mix between a donkey and a horse. So you have three donkeys? Five horses. Unknown 1:59 Yes. Jenn Welch 2:00 They don't make mules? Nope. And how do they get along with Bitsy and pinkman? Hayden Kristal 2:12 bethy doesn't like any of them. She just like leaves them alone. She won't go in the pasture. But pinky love to chase the donkeys and they love to chase her. Unknown 2:20 Yeah, have Hayden Kristal 2:22 have an ancient rescue donkey. He's 23 years old. He's a mini donkey. So he's like the size of a Great Dane. And his name is Nicola Ross. And he loves Pinkie and she'll bark and chase him back. It's really cute. Oh, Jenn Welch 2:37 that's so sweet. I like to imagine. So, for people who don't know, Hayden's dogs, pink Ben is I Deaf Border Collie, okay. Bitsy is a blind and deaf Aussie. Unknown 3:00 Yes. Hayden Kristal 3:00 And last night What? Yeah, I took this really cute video of her and my dad reuniting seeing each other for the first time since COVID started and it hit the front page of Reddit and then ABC ran it in a field good segment last night. Jenn Welch 3:19 Oh my God, that's amazing. Hayden Kristal 3:19 amazing. It's like sidebar as a comedian how annoyed I am that my dog has a TV credit before I do. Jenn Welch 3:30 Technically, I think it's your credit you filmed it you put it out there for the world. Hayden Kristal 3:35 I wasn't in it. My dad has a TV credit before I do oh my Jenn Welch 3:38 god content that you created. Hayden Kristal 3:41 It is content that I created. I don't think my name was mentioned at all. But my dog does have a network TV credit before I do. Jenn Welch 3:54 I love that I I was thinking earlier about Bitsy and pinkman. And I was thinking about how Bitsy is kind of like a little furry like metaphor. I mean, obviously for the experience of being blind and deaf, but also I think for like inattentive ADHD, because she's always just like in her own world. And then you just have to like tap her and be like, come on back. Like this is what's going on Hayden Kristal 4:28 every once in a while because I have an attentive ADHD but every once in a while she just gets this laser focus. Well, yeah, I was sitting by my mom's feet while my mom is eating dinner the other night and my mom was eating ribs. And Bitsy was just like, No, I'm eating ribs. And she just like, like, jumped up, grabbed the plate and ran like rat flip the whole plate was watching barbecue sauce off the dog for like an hour. But like she gets these moments of pure focus or shopping to accomplish Jenn Welch 4:58 or then maybe she's just inattentive ADHD everything because I was gonna say pinkman is like hyper focus, like pinkman like with a ball. Hayden Kristal 5:10 Yeah, there's something wrong with pinkman we're not sure what she's just like congealed amphetamines. She just is the world's first like meth based life form and that of carbon in my bed looking at me right now. Oh, Jenn Welch 5:30 oh my god, I just remember the one time my dog sat for them. And pinkman literally, I made the mistake of like throwing a ball indoors. And that was it. There was like, no peace. Hayden Kristal 5:45 That's her whole deal. Happy. Jenn Welch 5:47 Yay. Um, so how old? Were you? Cuz I don't think we've ever really talked about how old were you? were you when you were diagnosed with ADHD? And how did that because I do want to talk about like the intersectionality of like others sort of like disability and stuff like that. But like, how did that coincide with with when you like, I don't know, we've never talked about like the the death thing too much, either. Really? No, people usually have to pay for that. Did you only do that on your only fans? Hayden Kristal 6:24 My only I was gonna say because that's what I talked about as a public speaker. I'm sure that my agency would be thrilled. I started doing workshops on all my family. That's actually super funny. And I maybe should do. Like educational content. Oh, me fan. I kind of love that. And I definitely want to do it. I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. Yeah, 19 or 20. And I went, I got a diagnosis because I had been seeing a psychiatrist for a long time. And my girlfriend at the time was like, I can't take you anymore. I need you to go get help for your add. And I was like, No, I have a DD. And then I went into my psychiatrist. And I was like, so my girlfriend thinks I have ADHD. And she goes, Oh, do you? Not? And I was like, not that I'm aware of. And she was like, Oh my god, I'm so sorry. She was like, I don't know why I thought that you had it. I thought we had had this conversation. And you were just like cool with where you're like, Oh, that's not great. And I remember doing the like the test like the quiz they give you? Yeah, she was like, Do you often misplace important things. And I was like, I swear to God, I'm not doing a bit. I was like, I don't know where my keys are right now. Somewhere between here and my car, presumably. But that's as specific as I can be at this juncture. Oh Jenn Welch 7:56 my god. My mom keeps texting me every day saying Have you found her driver's license yet. And I I haven't told her that I also can't find my debit card. But um, so they're both missing in my apartment haven't left my apartment and months. I like the only reason I know it's missing is because I had to go get my vaccine. And I had to like, I just had to give up and go to the vaccine appointment without my license and like, like nudge, nudge my way into like getting a shot. I have no idea where it is. And they were like, We can't go back home and look for it. And I'm like, it's not gonna help. It's not gonna help. I have no idea. Hayden Kristal 8:39 No, and retrospect, I don't really understand why I wasn't diagnosed sooner. I had been going through debit cards roughly every six weeks. Jenn Welch 8:49 Yeah. Hayden Kristal 8:50 Like, that's how long I could keep one or like I would lose it at four weeks and just not replace it for two weeks. Like I was going through them so regularly with the lady at the bank, me. I don't really get why I wasn't diagnosed. I also went to like a tiny private high school for like, I need your podcast on air quotes. The most air for gifted students. And it was it was real circle jerky about like everybody learns differently. everybody's mind works differently. And now as an adult, I'm like, yeah, it's in the DSM. Like we just did nothing. But like, sit and congratulate ourselves about how special My mind was, for a long time. And then I started Adderall. And now I can be a person. But um, I think the question of the intersectionality of that, and that disability is really interesting, because I talked about on stage that I was they thought I had autism, some kind of autism when I was a kid, and which I've read that there's a lot of overlap between like a Add ADHD and autism diagnosis and especially those, but there's also a lot of overlap in autism and hearing loss diagnosis. They're both communication disorders. Right and so I think it's really interesting that we kind of circled it nothing I don't have hearing you That was a valid diagnosis. Jenn Welch 10:22 Well, I wonder I wonder too if like I'm like some of the stuff that was ADHD stuff was like well that's just because you know of the issues with hearing so that's why that's why he didn't miss that or that's why Hayden maybe Yeah, that's Hayden Kristal 10:39 a great way and I also wonder how much of that fed back into itself like I couldn't hear it so I just checked out like and like how much that got in trench but my mom and her whole side sure have add on ADHD? I don't really get how they missed it except that I was like not like running around like I wasn't what you picture is like a rampaging ADHD Okay, sure. You Jenn Welch 11:08 say that you're not rampaging ADHD child. But in the few years since I've known you I've never seen you without to unruly dogs. Unknown 11:20 of like, dogs are not Jenn Welch 11:22 here. By unruly by unruly I mean, I was one of them's deaf, and the other ones blind and deaf, and you have to be really aware of what they're doing at all times. And they're big. I don't mean they like I mean, are there, you're not there. They're so well behaved. They're so well behaved, but you have to be engaged with them, right? The whole time? Not really, Hayden Kristal 11:47 I will accept that. Hey, is there something wrong with pinkman? No, I do, but I wasn't like, Unknown 11:54 I accept that. I'm Hayden Kristal 11:55 a weird person. Except that I'm definitely like, a, like a memorable side character. But I'm no I but I wasn't like bouncing around. I wasn't like jumping up and down on the couch. When you're on the classroom. I just was always, Jenn Welch 12:17 I always feel like when I bring Augie out with me places in public, like he's just a little dude. And he like makes me feel like I'm expending so much energy, like trying to kind of like, make sure he's not getting in somebody's soup or making sure he's not, you know, meeting a new stranger who is going to go home with or make sure he's stealing the microphone from the comedian. You know, or like, whatever. So I can't imagine having two of them, I guess is like, that's why I see it as like a high energy pursuit to have the dogs with you. Like, you know, yeah, I Hayden Kristal 12:57 understand what you're saying. I spent I did like, I went to like a professional facility and did like dog training and dog sports for a while. Yeah, they're pretty self sufficient in terms of just being good. But it's like, I do like having a constant distraction. Yeah. Or like, they're like, they're like furry fidget spinners. Like I think the pet Unknown 13:20 wide bar. Hayden Kristal 13:21 My mom got a fidget spinner for free. Like someone gave it I was gonna throw it away. Then she found me sitting at the table with it, like up against my face just wearing it. She's like, okay, and I was like, Can I have this? And she's like, yep, You sure can Unknown 13:38 have a $5 trinket? Unknown 13:43 Yeah, Hayden Kristal 13:43 I was just mesmerized. I was like, this thing's pretty good. I like this a lot. Unknown 13:48 Oh my god. Um, Unknown 13:50 I should have been diagnosed a lot sooner. Jenn Welch 13:53 Yeah, that fidget spinner man. I know they became like a joke but the first time I got my hands on one I like I was it felt like I was home. This is where my body is. Hayden Kristal 14:08 Yeah, I was like I lit so satisfying. Like bearings in it. Jenn Welch 14:14 Oh boy have like that weight to it. That spinny so good. It's so good. Um, we because we haven't talked about it too much. But I guess like your experience with like, you know, deafness and like communicating and ADHD and how it all kind of rolls together and how it all I just want I want to hear everything about it. Here everything about how like I communicating and like just, all all of the all of the things, all of them. extrapolate something from what I just from what just came Hayden Kristal 14:59 over. Using hearing aids and like, I went to private schools that I gave, only about 30% of spoken English can actually be like lip read the rest of it you get through context and guesswork. It's like a, just an never ending an unrelenting game of Wheel of Fortune all the time. So the processing power that it takes to have a conversation with someone, and lip read that conversation is a lot, particularly in like a classroom setting. And I really have to focus, because I'm only get 30%. So I need all the context clues that I can get. And then sometimes when I'm talking to people, there's a bit of a lag. Yeah, like, it's not very long. But there's a bit of a lag as I'm like, putting stuff together. And I think that, that burned me out. Like, I think that that and it still does, like I noticed when I'm signing my ability to focus as much more Jenn Welch 15:57 I can only speak to like, obviously, I don't have issues with hearing, but after I hit my head, I did have issues with like audio processing and stuff like that. And also hearing words wrong. Like I would hear multi like multi multisyllabic words as like, just almost like a classic like a Rebus puzzle like, so if a word is like a carburetor, I would hear it as like automobile cold eating her like carbery you don't like that's how I would? Oh, yeah, that's how my brain would hear it. So I'd have to like put it together. And yeah, it's exhausting. Like, kind of trying to communicate with something like that. And you can't respond as quickly and like, whatever. And so how does how does signing kind of like open things up more? Like I imagined that just the the experience of mental listening versus like whole body communication is like you have to be in your body like your I don't know, tell me tell me tell me Unknown 17:09 things? Um, Hayden Kristal 17:11 no, it's just, um, it's being able to receive the information without having to take the time to like, process it consciously. Like it just comes in streams, and I'm able to respond. And that's a lot less exhausting than it is to have to like work out that puzzle for everything that said, I will say My vision is not great. And so I'm super nearsighted. So somebody is more than like, a couple of feet away from me. I do have to kind of actively process and squint to see what they're saying. But that's just more a personal not wearing glasses problem than it is like an actual processing issue. That's I don't like things on my face. Yeah, my fucking problem and not going to touch my eye like an idiot. Oh, contact lenses Unknown 17:57 are the worst. Jenn Welch 17:58 Yeah, you get the LASIK? Hayden Kristal 18:00 I could and I thought about it. But I also like that requires like taking the initiative to figure it out. Like, not learn how to do it myself. Like I'm just gonna get I'm gonna forge a laser vein and I are so busy. I could I've thought about it. I should probably go do that. I feel like I got a queue. My, my sense of smell is really good. So I felt like as long as I have that, like, I need to address the other issues. Okay, so you really identify with Bitsy, is what you're saying? i? I do. Yeah. But I'm a really good. I just learned that not everybody like I can totally smell like my family all smells like people smell different to me. And like I can tell which one of my dogs comes in the room by like, smell. Yeah, I just learned like, that's not a thing that people don't that translate. Well, you guys are missing out well develop sense of smell. Jenn Welch 19:03 So what how old were you when you learn to sign? Hayden Kristal 19:06 I started when I was 15 I think I must have been 16 cuz I I started college early. I think at the time. It was very out of character in retrospect, very unbranded and super funny but I got pissed at one person in high school and I dropped out and got my GED the same week. I went to college early. And I got scholarship money for my GED score. So I did not beat the system. I slam dunk the system. I still think that's one of the like, talk about committing to a bit I got that one person dropped out and got a GED. But then I started college and I was really struggling because I went from a tiny private school to a big public university and the Deaf Services Coordinator there recommended I started learning sign language and I had this kind of like internalized complex like that I didn't need to learn sign language because I was smart. And cuz that's what it's about. That's what it's about. And then when I started, I was like, oh, okay, and my grades shot up. And like, my social ability shot up, like and even with hearing people, I think just because I'm not so tired all the time. I'm still very awkward. Jenn Welch 20:31 I know we all are. But Hayden Kristal 20:33 yeah, we wouldn't become comedians if we had social skills. Right? But I feel like in terms of like confidence and self assuredness, I really bloomed because before I couldn't, it was hard for me to go do stuff because like, I couldn't go out to dinner with friends because it was dark in the restaurant. Like I'm just gonna sit there and that's like, even at comedy clubs, it's very early and all of it I'm like, having war flashbacks to pine box. Like when it's dark. And, like, there's a lot of background noise. Like there's no way for me to be able to, to lip read and communicate, which is a bummer, because I like hanging out with comics. But yeah, but being able to sign and having that outlet, I think gave me like more tolerance for those situations. Yeah, cuz I have outlet where it's not like that. Jenn Welch 21:28 Yeah. That's awesome. Very cool. So how, I guess the last thing I want to talk about is because we're getting close on time, but one thing that really impresses me about you is this career that you've forged that I going around and doing these speaking the speaking circuit and and finding these like connections like you have the awesome one about Bitsy and you have the awesome one about like gay SL which is like the intersectionality between like LGBTQ activism and, and disability, activism and everything. And how how, how did you? How did you follow through on all of this shit, because I keep wanting to put something together to do. Because we had talked about it in the past, like doing something on like, improv and PTSD or like doing something. Yeah, I have this podcast now. Like, I could talk about ADHD, like, whatever. Hayden Kristal 22:35 What? You know, 100% dude, by the way? Jenn Welch 22:39 Um, yeah, it's but it's, but it's like, doing it. It's like the actual doing it. Yeah, stops me, you know, Hayden Kristal 22:46 I find a fun way to convince myself to do stuff is to trap myself in obligations. And then you so Midwestern, that I can't back out of it. Jenn Welch 22:58 That is how I've done all of my solo shows. And my half hour is I just booked and and then I'm, and then... /episode/index/show/ladyhd/id/18719021