Losers, Pretenders & Scoundrels

Unlicensed historians Andrew Heaton and Andrew Young sort out characters from the Earth's history into categories of failures, fakes, and rascals. Funny but technically informative.

King Zog I: The Chain-smoking Ruler of Albania 09/25/2024

King Zog I: The Chain-smoking Ruler of Albania Zog I of Albania was that country's youngest prime minister, and eventually its king. He chainsmoked a mind-boggling amount of cigarettes every day, and experienced a significant amount of assasination attempts. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/33206782

The Craziest Governor of Oklahoma: Alfalfa Bill Murray 08/16/2024

The Craziest Governor of Oklahoma: Alfalfa Bill Murray Alfalfa Bill Murray declared martial law over thirty times, and wrote an autobiography so embarassing that his family would steal it out of libraries. After a political defeat, he tried to start a colony in Bolivia, and failed at that, too. And was SUPER racist. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/32584467

Gregor MacGregor: Liar King of the Mosquito Coast - Part 2 07/29/2024

Gregor MacGregor: Liar King of the Mosquito Coast - Part 2 Gregor MacGregor was a Scotsman who joined revolutionary causes in South America, slowly morphed into a coward, THEN evolved into a fantabulist who tricked hundreds of destitute Scots to starve and die in a fake colony that never existed. And yet, he is buried with honors in Caracas Cathedral as a war hero. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/32266847

Gregor MacGregor: Liar King of the Mosquito Coast - Part 1 07/24/2024

Gregor MacGregor: Liar King of the Mosquito Coast - Part 1 Gregor MacGregor was a Scotsman who joined revolutionary causes in South America, slowly morphed into a coward, THEN evolved into a fantabulist who tricked hundreds of destitute Scots to starve and die in a fake colony that never existed. And yet, he is buried with honors in Caracas Cathedral as a war hero. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/32266842

The Congressman Who Shot a Guy at the White House 07/09/2024

The Congressman Who Shot a Guy at the White House Daniel Edgar Sickles was an American Civil War general, and later, a U.S. congressman. While serving in Congress he gunned down a man in broad daylight in front of the White House, and was acquitted on grounds of temporary insanity--the first in American history! /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/32052932

Triple Secret Agent Man: Michael Goleniewski 06/24/2024

Triple Secret Agent Man: Michael Goleniewski Michael Goleniewski was a Polish intelligence agent but ALSO spying on the Poles on behalf of the Soviets BUT ALSO reporting on all of it to the Americans. A triple agent! Best secret agent ever? We'll explore on this episode. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/31860812

The (Maybe?) Fake King of France: Karl Wilhelm Naurndorff 06/17/2024

The (Maybe?) Fake King of France: Karl Wilhelm Naurndorff Karl Wilhelm Naurndorff made a compelling case that he was the dauphin of France, spirited away by Talleyrand or some other insider after the death of his father, King Louis XVI. He was convincing enough that he kept getting stabbed, shot, and run out of countries, before winding up in the Netherlands as the head of pyrotechnics. But WAS he really the king? In this LPS episode, we settle it once and for all! /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/31683832

Andrew Carnegie's Fake Bastard Daughter: Cassie Chadwick 06/11/2024

Andrew Carnegie's Fake Bastard Daughter: Cassie Chadwick Cassie Chadwick went from a Canadian nobody to a psychic to the opulent heiress presumed to be Andrew Carnegie's natural born daughter. At the very least, she is the Queen of Cons! /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/31683827

The Goat Testicle Transplant Doctor (Part Two) 06/07/2024

The Goat Testicle Transplant Doctor (Part Two) In this second installment on the life and times of John Romulus Brinkley, quack, we follow his incredible career trajectory as he becomes a radio tycoon, political force in the great state of Kansas, and eventually gets driven from America's border by the Mexican Army. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/31625677

The Goat Testicle Transplant Doctor (Part One) 06/06/2024

The Goat Testicle Transplant Doctor (Part One) John Romulus Brinkley became wealthy, famous, and powerful as one of America's most colorful, ludicrous quacks. He made his fortune by "curing" male impotence by sewing goat testicles into clients. As well as becoming a radio tycoon, politician, and more. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/31625652

Captain For A Day! - Wilhelm Voigt 09/21/2022

Captain For A Day! - Wilhelm Voigt What could you get away with if you looked the part? What if you're trying to trick a bunch of German soldiers with a sense of blind obedience? Wilhelm Voigt managed to commandeer a whole squad and take over a city hall long enough to grab a boatload of cash. Heaton and Young dive into how he did it. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/24391401

The Ice Palace King of the Desert - Saparmurat Niyazov 09/13/2022

The Ice Palace King of the Desert - Saparmurat Niyazov Saparmurat Niyazov was a Soviet thug turned insane dictator of Turkmenistan. And as their leader he made sure to hit all the classics. Built a religion around himself, wiped out the free media and syphoned money away from his people. But what about his great ideas like...the ice palace in the desert. Or his beloved golden statue that turned to face the sun. Heaton and Young explore this insane dictator. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/24331290

The Austrian Emperor of Mexico - Maximillian the First 05/03/2022

The Austrian Emperor of Mexico - Maximillian the First Maximillian I was the "other" Hapsburg son. The one who was born second and didn't get to be Emperor of Austria. But he thought he'd found the next best thing! Emperor of a country across an ocean who he had no common heritage or connection with. Unfortunately, the people of Mexico didn't agree. Heaton and Young explore this charismatic but ill-fated monarch. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22988774

Charles Ponzi: The Short Italian with a Long Con 04/19/2022

Charles Ponzi: The Short Italian with a Long Con Most of us have heard about the Ponzi Scheme. But what of the man who gave it his name? Charles Ponzi, was an Italian immigrant who never quite got on the right side of the law. But his greatest claim to fame was a tangled web of financial lies that almost brought down the Boston banking system. Unlicensed historians, Andrew Heaton and Andrew Young bring this fellow down to size. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22765502

The Irish Zorro of Mexico: William Lamport 04/05/2022

The Irish Zorro of Mexico: William Lamport Was Zorro real? You bet he was! Except he was Irish. And didn't wear a mask. And Probably couldn't carve a "Z" with his sword. And proclaimed himself king of Mexico. But other than that, William Lamport is the spitting image of Zorro, who was actually based on him. Heaton and Young take a look at what gave this redhead the cahones to try to take the Mexican throne, and what stopped him. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22684961

Mary, Queen of Scots Killed Some Folks 03/23/2022

Mary, Queen of Scots Killed Some Folks In popular film Mary, Queen of Scots is lionized or victimized or both. However there's some good evidence she A) killed a lot of people and B) did some serious plotting. Unlicensed historians Andrew Heaton and Andrew Young investigate /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22323446

Bridge For Sale! - The Irish Charmer 03/15/2022

Bridge For Sale! - The Irish Charmer The best con man can sell you anything. A car, a boat, a Nigerian fortune. But what about a bridge connecting Manhattan to Brooklyn? Well, George C. Parker did it. And he kept doing it for forty years. Heaton and Young discuss the scant details we have on this swindler and what makes the Irish so damned charming. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22317512

The Pirate Queen Who Married Her Kid 03/08/2022

The Pirate Queen Who Married Her Kid The Pirate Life was a tough life for the most hardened of men in the 1700s. But what if you were a woman on the high seas? Zheng Yi Sao was just such a pirate, and arguably one of the most successful pirates in the history of lootin'. Heaton and Young explore her knack for negotiation and her rather non-traditional relationship with her...um...son? /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22132805

Christina, Lesbian King of Sweden 03/01/2022

Christina, Lesbian King of Sweden Christina of Sweden was hard to categorize. Never a servant to gender rules or accepted behavior of monarchs, she only ever had a passing interest in even being on the throne. But she threw one helluva party and could drink you under the table. Heaton and Young break down what makes this on again off again monarch one of the most likeable characters in swedish history. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22292411

Teenage Popes Make Bad Popes 02/15/2022

Teenage Popes Make Bad Popes What makes a good Pope? Certainly not the wisdom of youth. John XII and Benedict IX both found themselves wearing the white hat well before their maturity and managed to make the High See the height of sin and debauchery. Unlicensed historians Andrew Heaton and Andrew Young investigate these two holy(?) whippersnappers to see what made them tick. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22133705

The Most Horribly Inbred Monarch, Ever 02/08/2022

The Most Horribly Inbred Monarch, Ever Carlos II was terribly inbred! Horribly so. The most quantifiably overbred Hapsburg to date, he was *more* inbred than if a brother and sister married. Unlicensed historians Andrew Heaton and Andrew Young investigate this sad, sad king, and the greater issue of royal genetic overlap. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/22051058

The Pirate Rabbi 02/03/2022

The Pirate Rabbi Samuel Palacci (c. 1550 - 1615) was a diplomat, merchant, pirate, and double agent. He worked in the employ of the Sultan of Morocco, then after obtaining a free trade agreement with the Dutch, began preying on Spanish galleons as a seafaring rabbanical pirate. Andrew Heaton and Andrew Young discuss this colorful character. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21945884

Emperor Norton of San Francisco 01/25/2022

Emperor Norton of San Francisco The eccentric Joshua Abraham Norton wound up proclaiming himself Emperor of the United States, and Protector of Mexico. While few people ever recognized him as a legit sovereign, he did get to become the beloved and unofficial mascot of San Francisco. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21663755

The Cranky Noseless Emperor 01/18/2022

The Cranky Noseless Emperor Justinian II of the Byzantine Empire should have been disqualified from the crown after a usurper cut his nose off. But nope! He climbed back to power anyway over a hill of bloody corpses. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21452789

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition! 01/11/2022

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition! Torquemada kicked off the Spanish Inquisition, which is regarded by many historians as "not very fun" for the people afflicted by it. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21708548

Emperor Claudius Killed a Whale 01/04/2022

Emperor Claudius Killed a Whale Claudius (10 BC to AD 54) was the unlikeliest of aspirants to the Roman imperium. He suffered from what was probably Cerebral Palsy, which effected his speech and movements, was reviled by his family, and spent much of his life gambling and womanizing. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21285755

Perkin Warbeck, Fake King of England 12/28/2021

Perkin Warbeck, Fake King of England No one knows what happened to the "Princes in the Tower." Presumably Richard III had them snuffed. Unfortunately for the English monarchy, decades later a charismatic pretender would claim to be the rightful king: Perkin Warbeck. Or, as he maintained, King Richard IV. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21292043

The Krampus, Saint Nick, and Mushroom Trips 12/21/2021

The Krampus, Saint Nick, and Mushroom Trips WTF is Krampus? How does a third-century bishop become the Arctic gift-giving character at the mall? What on Earth does he have to do with psychedelic mushrooms? /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21526604

White Dude, King of the Indians 12/14/2021

White Dude, King of the Indians If William Augustus Bowles' plans had come true, the independent State of Muscogee would have separated Spanish Florida from American advancement, and Creek, Cherokee, and Seminole Indians would have united to form a powerful bloc. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21452642

Custer Had a Spiffy Mustache 12/06/2021

Custer Had a Spiffy Mustache William Armstrong Custer was a meteoric success. . . until he very much wasn't. /episode/index/show/loserspretendersscoundels/id/21283286

Losers, Pretenders & Scoundrels

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