Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner: Help With Healing CPTSD

If you've done years of therapy for CPTSD and still feel stuck in the same relationship patterns, this podcast is for you. I'm Dr. Tanner Wallace — survivor, researcher, and Level 3 IFS practitioner. I left a tenured professorship to build what I couldn't find anywhere else: a root-cause path to resolving CPTSD, not managing it for life. Each episode gives you the applied training that talk therapy never offered: why you're still getting triggered, why certain people activate your deepest patterns, and how to build secure internal attachment to yourself. CPTSD can be resolved. Visit cptsdmedicine.com to explore working together.

048. Keeping Up With Life: A CPTSD Guide to Building Self Trust 05/01/2026

048. Keeping Up With Life: A CPTSD Guide to Building Self Trust You can run a life that looks competent from the outside while the private functional domain — taxes, invoicing, paperwork, the relationship with yourself — quietly falls apart behind closed doors. That split is not a discipline problem. It is an audience problem. In this episode, I introduce a single discerning question I want you carrying with you — Is there an audience for this task? — and walk through what it reveals about the Part of you that has learned to perform competence outwardly while leaving the unwitnessed loops open. We work through the backstage of the Broadway show your life has become, why mainstream priority advice has it backwards, and the difference between priorities and the systems that hold them. If you have ever said I can keep up with everyone else's expectations but I cannot keep up with my own life, this episode was made for you. Step Closer If this episode resonated, join my email list. No freebies, no fluff. Just my honest perspective on what CPTSD Resolution actually requires. I send about two emails a week. https://cptsdmedicine.com/email When You're Ready CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Three days, seven people, live on Zoom. You'll leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution. Offered twice a year in February and September. https://cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After — The All-Inclusive CPTSD Resolution Experience Six months of close-proximity training with me. Application required. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner who founded CPTSD Medicine. She helps humans who look really good on paper, but behind closed doors are experiencing severe emotional distress in their closest relationships, to resolve what's causing this and become outstanding parents and partners. Her approach is applied mental health training, not therapy. About the Podcast Heal First, Then Pick Your Life Partner is for high-functioning adults with complex trauma who are tired of repeating painful relationship patterns. If you perform well professionally but struggle intensely in your closest relationships, this podcast teaches you why and what to do about it. Each episode explores how CPTSD shapes your parenting, partnering, identity, and emotional life, and offers a grounded, structured perspective on what resolution actually looks like. Topics include IFS and parts work, trauma-driven relationship patterns, emotional distress in partnerships, career identity as a survival response, and navigating psychiatric medication alongside healing. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD, this podcast is applied mental health training for adults who want resolution, not just management. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/41080640

047. Being A Girls' Girl: Relational Manipulation As A CPTSD Survivor 04/24/2026

047. Being A Girls' Girl: Relational Manipulation As A CPTSD Survivor You've had the experience — someone tells you what's being said about you in the group chat you're not part of, or you overhear it, or it lands in a comment section, and suddenly you're defending a version of yourself you don't recognize. The spiral is immediate, the shame is disproportionate, and you can't tell whether to retaliate or apologize. In this episode, I teach the Embodiment Equation: why leaving the body in childhood sets up an implicit contract that invites relational manipulation, why women under patriarchy reach for character attacks as a counterfeit source of power, and what being a Girls' Girl actually means when you define it structurally instead of reflexively. Drawing on a detailed business-team scenario, I walk through the honesty audit that lets you hold accountability and self-protection at the same time. If you've ever thought "why is this always happening to me" or "why did I just stoop to that," this episode was made for you Step Closer If this episode resonated, join my email list. No freebies, no fluff. Just my honest perspective on what CPTSD Resolution actually requires. I send about two emails a week. https://cptsdmedicine.com/email When You're Ready CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Three days, seven people, live on Zoom. You'll leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution. Offered twice a year in February and September. https://cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After — The All-Inclusive CPTSD Resolution Experience Six months of close-proximity training with me. Application required. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner who founded CPTSD Medicine. She helps humans who look really good on paper, but behind closed doors are experiencing severe emotional distress in their closest relationships, to resolve what's causing this and become outstanding parents and partners. Her approach is applied mental health training, not therapy. About the Podcast Heal First, Then Pick Your Life Partner is for high-functioning adults with complex trauma who are tired of repeating painful relationship patterns. If you perform well professionally but struggle intensely in your closest relationships, this podcast teaches you why and what to do about it. Each episode explores how CPTSD shapes your parenting, partnering, identity, and emotional life, and offers a grounded, structured perspective on what resolution actually looks like. Topics include IFS and parts work, trauma-driven relationship patterns, emotional distress in partnerships, career identity as a survival response, and navigating psychiatric medication alongside healing. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD, this podcast is applied mental health training for adults who want resolution, not just management. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40981695

046. Feeling Unseen At Work: A CPTSD Guide To The Appreciation Wound 04/17/2026

046. Feeling Unseen At Work: A CPTSD Guide To The Appreciation Wound You've done excellent work. You know it. And yet you find yourself scanning the room for confirmation that someone else knows it too. That quiet ache of feeling unseen at your job isn't a professional development problem. It's one of the most common places a CPTSD wound shows up uninvited. In this episode, I introduce The Appreciation Audit, a four-question self-inquiry practice designed to help you trace what you're actually asking for when you say you feel "underappreciated," and who you're really asking. We look at how childhood emotional neglect wires the nervous system to experience a missing "good job" as something closer to a survival threat, and why the workplace becomes a stand-in stage for recognition that was never delivered in the original production. Drawing on research in rejection sensitivity, attachment disruption, and real-life examples from professional and family life, we explore the difference between wanting appreciation and needing it to feel real. If you've ever thought "Why does this bother me so much? It's just work," this episode is for yo Step Closer In this episode resonated, join my email list. No freebies, no fluff. Just my honest perspective on what CPTSD Resolution actually requires. I send about two emails a week. When You're Ready CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Three days, seven people, live on Zoom. You'll leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution. Offered twice a year in February and September. Happily Ever After — The All-Inclusive CPTSD Resolution Experience Six months of close-proximity training with me. Application required. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner who founded CPTSD Medicine. She helps humans who look really good on paper, but behind closed doors are experiencing severe emotional distress in their closest relationships, to resolve what's causing this and become outstanding parents and partners. Her approach is applied mental health training, not therapy. About the Podcast Heal First, Then Pick Your Life Partner is for high-functioning adults with complex trauma who are tired of repeating painful relationship patterns. If you perform well professionally but struggle intensely in your closest relationships, this podcast teaches you why and what to do about it. Each episode explores how CPTSD shapes your parenting, partnering, identity, and emotional life, and offers a grounded, structured perspective on what resolution actually looks like. Topics include IFS and parts work, trauma-driven relationship patterns, emotional distress in partnerships, career identity as a survival response, and navigating psychiatric medication alongside healing. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD, this podcast is applied mental health training for adults who want resolution, not just management. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40909270

045. Protecting or Vilifying: How We Relate to Our Parents in CPTSD Resolution 04/10/2026

045. Protecting or Vilifying: How We Relate to Our Parents in CPTSD Resolution You've probably noticed that your relationship with your parents lives in one of two places: protection or blame. You either minimize what happened to keep the peace, or you've swung into a narrative that finally names the harm but hasn't actually moved anything in your body. In this episode, I unpack the three-phase arc that most CPTSD survivors move through when reckoning with their parents' role in their wounding, and I introduce the concept of Merciful Validation as the earned posture that lives beyond both protection and vilification. Using real-life scenarios like honoring a parent's birthday, we explore what it looks like to hold honest reckoning and genuine mercy at the same time without collapsing into either. If you've ever caught yourself saying "bless their heart" about the people who hurt you and felt something dishonest in it, this episode was made for you. CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40776365

044. Healing In Real Time: CPTSD Resolution Advice For Success 04/03/2026

044. Healing In Real Time: CPTSD Resolution Advice For Success You have spent years trying to explain what happened to you. You have narrated it in therapy, processed it with friends, and written about it in journals, yet the same patterns keep running your life. That is not a failure of effort. It is a signal that the work needs to move from retelling to real time. In this episode, I introduce The Three Rooms, a framework for recognizing where you are spending your healing capital and capacity: The Retelling Room, where narration lives; The Numbing Room, where avoidance lives; and The Training Ground, where present-moment activation becomes the actual material for CPTSD Resolution. We explore why the mental health field and social media both misunderstand the problem with chronic retelling, why your triggered moments are not obstacles to your healing but the precise site of it, and what it means to lead your Resolution as the CEO of the process rather than outsourcing it to someone else's interpretation. If you have ever thought "I have done so much therapy but nothing has actually changed," this episode was made for you. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40717400

043. Knowing Feeling Gap: Help For CPTSD Healing 03/27/2026

043. Knowing Feeling Gap: Help For CPTSD Healing You can understand something completely and still feel nothing has changed. That's not a willpower problem. That's the knowing-feeling gap — and it's one of the most common and frustrating experiences in CPTSD healing. In this episode, I break down why intellectual insight alone rarely produces lasting behavioral change for complex trauma survivors. Drawing on real examples from parenting, partnership, and professional life, we explore how trauma-based information processing operates on a separate internal system from conscious awareness — one that consistently overrides what you cognitively know to be true. You'll learn why the mental health field has historically over-indexed on insight at the expense of embodied intervention, what it actually means to "close the gap" between knowing and feeling, and why that gap is the precise therapeutic target — not just an obstacle to push through. If you've ever said "I know I deserve better, but I can't feel it" or "I understand the pattern, but I keep repeating it," this episode was made for you. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40640285

042. Accelerating Your Healing: Speeding Up Your CPTSD Resolution 03/20/2026

042. Accelerating Your Healing: Speeding Up Your CPTSD Resolution Many survivors living with CPTSD wonder if healing can happen faster or feel frustrated by the pace of their progress. In this episode, I explore what it actually means to accelerate your healing and move toward full CPTSD resolution. I discuss the possibility of no longer qualifying for a CPTSD diagnosis by addressing trauma at the root, rather than managing symptoms on the surface. We look at the mindset shifts, patterns, and forms of Self Leadership that support deeper, more efficient healing, and what often slows survivors down without them realizing it. This conversation is for anyone ready to move beyond coping and step into a more direct, empowered path toward lasting change. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40532945

041. Being Mean To The Humans We Love: Understanding CPTSD Overwhelm 03/13/2026

041. Being Mean To The Humans We Love: Understanding CPTSD Overwhelm Many childhood trauma survivors living with CPTSD struggle with moments of being critical, harsh, or “mean” toward the people they care about most. These reactions often appear suddenly and can leave you feeling confused or ashamed afterward. In this episode, I explore why criticism and irritability show up in close relationships when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed. Using a recent personal example, I walk through how rising stress, fear of unmet needs, and old trauma scripts can quickly bypass vulnerability and turn into frustration or anger. We also discuss a healthier pathway for recognizing overwhelm earlier, reconnecting with your internal world, and leaning into connection instead of isolation when distress arises. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A weekend workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month healing container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full access CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for humans who desire personalized, guided transformation and consistent support from Tanner. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Review the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40394075

040. Moving Through A Betrayal: CPTSD Help 03/06/2026

040. Moving Through A Betrayal: CPTSD Help Betrayal in a relationship can create a powerful sense of distance, leaving you feeling like there is an invisible force field between you and your partner. For individuals living with CPTSD, unresolved betrayal can activate deep attachment wounds, mistrust, and emotional disconnection. In this episode, I explore what betrayal energy feels like in the nervous system and how to move through it in a grounded, Self-Led way. We discuss how survival patterns, the need to feel chosen, unprocessed grief, and competing priorities can shape the healing process after betrayal. This conversation offers a practical perspective on rebuilding trust, having honest conversations with your partner, and deciding whether real alignment and relational repair are possible. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40339195

039. Improving Communication With Your Partner: A CPTSD Guide to Relational Healing 02/27/2026

039. Improving Communication With Your Partner: A CPTSD Guide to Relational Healing Many humans living with CPTSD find themselves asking, “Why doesn’t my partner get it?” You may feel like you are trying to explain your needs, yet the same misunderstandings keep happening. Communication challenges are common in relationships impacted by CPTSD, especially when trauma-driven patterns shape how needs are expressed and received. In this tutorial-style episode, I walk through practical steps for improving communication with your partner in ways that support relational healing. You will learn how trauma filters can distort what you say and how your partner hears it, how to move from over-explaining or shutting down into clearer Self-Led communication, and how to create conversations that build connection rather than confusion and hurt. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40251115

038. Outgrowing Trauma-Driven Anger: A CPTSD Perspective 02/20/2026

038. Outgrowing Trauma-Driven Anger: A CPTSD Perspective Anger is common for humans living with CPTSD, especially in relationships where attachment wounds are easily activated. Many high-functioning adults oscillate between suppressing anger and reacting from it, unsure what is healthy and what is trauma-driven. In this episode, I explain how anger develops within unresolved complex trauma and what it means to outgrow trauma-driven reactivity. You will learn the difference between suppressed anger, protector anger, and Self-Led inner authority, and how CPTSD Resolution shifts anger from explosive or hidden into grounded personal power. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40124035

037. Healing Under Pressure: A CPTSD Guide to Handling Life Stress 02/13/2026

037. Healing Under Pressure: A CPTSD Guide to Handling Life Stress When you are healing from CPTSD, everyday stress can feel like proof that you are failing or regressing. In reality, the survival mode you create often mirrors your original trauma patterns, revealing exactly what still needs attention. In this episode, I explain how real-life stressors at work, in relationships, and around money can become a powerful training ground for healing. I walk through how to work with activation in real time, how to avoid crisis cycles while still allowing enough stimulation for growth, and how to recognize patterns like over-responsibility, performance masks, accommodation traps, and financial dependency dynamics. If you are tired of waiting for life to calm down before you heal, this conversation will help you use real-world challenges as invitations for deeper CPTSD resolution. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40096785

036. Understanding Relationship Anxiety: CPTSD Answers to the Questions You Keep Asking 02/06/2026

036. Understanding Relationship Anxiety: CPTSD Answers to the Questions You Keep Asking Relationship anxiety is common for people with CPTSD, especially in relationships that matter deeply. You might feel constant fear, doubt, or panic even when nothing is obviously wrong, and worry that your anxiety is slowly damaging the relationship you value most. In this Q&A episode, I answer common questions about anxiety in relationships with CPTSD and explain what is happening beneath the surface. This conversation is for anyone who wants healthier, more secure relationships and does not want fear to keep running the show. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/40018155

035. Fighting Smarter: CPTSD Relationship Advice 01/30/2026

035. Fighting Smarter: CPTSD Relationship Advice Most humans were never taught how to work through disagreement in a way that actually strengthens a relationship. So when conflict shows up, old emotional learning takes the lead. Past wounds get activated. Fear takes over. And what could have been a moment of productive working through something important shifts into something destructive and disorganizing. In this episode, I talk about what it means to fight smarter when CPTSD is in the room. Not by suppressing emotion or avoiding conflict, but by learning how to stay Self-Led before, during, and after difficult conversations. I walk through four practical steps that help you recognize when you are fighting with Trauma Energies running the show and how to shift into a process that supports not only your CPTSD Resolution but real change in your relationship. Can’t stop toxic fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39932915

034. Getting Out Of Survival Mode Healing: CPTSD Help 01/23/2026

034. Getting Out Of Survival Mode Healing: CPTSD Help Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39827150

033. Best Year Yet (Part 2): My Top Lessons from 2025 01/16/2026

033. Best Year Yet (Part 2): My Top Lessons from 2025 This episode continues my two-part reflection on the most important lessons I took from 2025. These are not mindset tips or abstract insights. They are lessons forged through real relationships, real consequences, and real decisions about power, responsibility, and alignment. If Part 1 focused on containment, completion, and trust, Part 2 turns toward power, reciprocity, preparation, and what actually creates sustainable alignment. In Part 2, I cover four additional lessons: 5. Relationships That Require You to Stay Small Are Hard to Sustain I talk about what happens when relationships quietly require you to manage someone else’s insecurity in order to stay connected. When another person is not in their power, growth often gets reframed as harm. Expansion gets mislabeled as unethical or unsafe. Power meeting power is cleaner. It requires clear responsibility, clean contracting, and respect for each person’s growth. 6. Give-to-Get Dynamics Always End Badly Giving that comes from an agenda, even a subtle one, eventually leads to over-giving, bitterness, and resentment. I explore the difference between giving from genuine overflow and giving in hopes of securing safety, approval, or future return. Reciprocity is not transactional. It is something that naturally flows back when alignment is real. 7. Good Outcomes Do Not Just Happen Strong outcomes require preparation, planning, and execution. This lesson reshaped how I think about where I invest my energy, what I say yes to, and how much I commit myself to at once. Saying less allows for doing things well. 8. Alignment Is Richer Than Boundaries or Safety I close by expanding the conversation beyond boundaries and safety into alignment. Alignment includes identity, attachment, and meaning. When those are in place, boundaries become simpler, safety becomes steadier, and decisions become clearer. Together, Parts 1 and 2 capture the lessons that are shaping how I move into 2026 with more clarity, fewer compromises, and a deeper commitment to clean responsibility and self-trust. If you want your next year to be your best year yet, this episode offers a grounded place to begin. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39747850

032. Best Year Yet (Part 1): My Top Lessons From 2025 01/09/2026

032. Best Year Yet (Part 1): My Top Lessons From 2025 This episode begins a two-part reflection on my most important lessons from 2025. I am sharing these lessons not as theory, but as lived experience. What worked. What hurt. What required courage. And what fundamentally changed how I lead, relate, and take responsibility. If you want 2026 to be your best year yet, this episode will help you learn from my path rather than repeat my mistakes. In Part 1, I cover four core lessons: 1. Deciding Who and What You Are Responsible For I share why I closed my free community, and what that taught me about responsibility, containment, and sustainability. I also talk about how responsibility looks different with children, with partners, and in leadership, and why scaffolding matters more than sacrifice. This lesson directly led to the creation of I Choose Me. 2. Completion Changes Outcomes I reflect on a serious car crash involving Stevin and why fully dealing with what happens, instead of minimizing it, changes everything. We got support. We slowed down. We right-sized the situation. We prioritized completion rather than endurance. That choice created real space for healing and resolution instead of lingering stress. 3. You Cannot Control the Past, But You Can Release the Shame So It Stops Running Your Life Releasing shame around younger parts of ourselves is often easier. What is far harder is releasing shame around adult versions of ourselves who acted from trauma energies. I talk about what it means to live in a trauma ecosystem where history cannot be erased, and how painful it is to be treated as unsafe or harmful after you have done the work. You cannot control how others see you. You can only know your truth and let that be enough. 4. Trust Is Earned. Until Then, Protect Yourself. I break down how I now think about trust, contracts, agreements, reciprocity, and risk. This includes starting slow, avoiding fantasy investments, minimizing exposure to financial and reputational risk, and making sure everyone has equal skin in the game. Trust builds over time, not promises. This episode is for anyone who wants to lead with clarity, reduce regret, and enter the next year with stronger boundaries, cleaner responsibility, and less shame. Part 2 continues the reflection with additional lessons that shaped how I am moving into 2026. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39673235

031. Deciding About Your Relationship: A CPTSD-Informed Perspective 01/02/2026

031. Deciding About Your Relationship: A CPTSD-Informed Perspective Much mainstream relationship advice completely misses the mark when you have unresolved CPTSD and are living inside a trauma ecosystem. What looks like clarity can actually be fear. What looks like empowerment can actually be protection. And many people make permanent relationship decisions from a nervous system that is still in survival mode. In this episode, I will walk you through the top 5 CPTSD-specific things to do before deciding to leave a relationship. This is not about convincing you to stay or go. It is about helping you make decisions from internal safety, self-trust, and clarity rather than trauma-driven urgency. If you live with CPTSD and feel stuck, confused, or pressured to “decide already,” this conversation will help you slow down and orient to what actually matters. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39578635

030. Being Bad At Boundaries: CPTSD Education 101 12/26/2025

030. Being Bad At Boundaries: CPTSD Education 101 Does anyone else quietly question the tools therapists give you? For many people living with CPTSD, boundary work brings relief and calm, but at a steep cost. Relationships end. Distance grows. Connection narrows. You may feel safer, yet lonelier than ever. In this episode, I speak directly to the unspoken confusion many high-achieving survivors carry about boundaries. Questions like: How do I set boundaries without feeling like a bad person? Why do boundaries feel aggressive or isolating? Why do I either over-explain or completely shut down? Why do I enforce boundaries and still feel unsafe? Why do boundaries seem to make my relationships worse? Why do I feel calm but alone after setting boundaries? This conversation reframes boundaries through a CPTSD-informed lens. Not as rigid rules or protective walls, but as signals of internal trust. When boundaries are built on fear, they often isolate. When they emerge from Self-trust, they become simple, neutral, and relational. This episode introduces a CycleBreaker’s way of understanding boundaries, one that prioritizes internal safety, clarity, and connection rather than control or withdrawal. If you live with CPTSD and feel exhausted by boundary work, this episode will help you understand why and show you a more sustainable path forward. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39538015

029. Recognizing Controlling Patterns: The CPTSD Understanding 12/19/2025

029. Recognizing Controlling Patterns: The CPTSD Understanding When you live with CPTSD, the urge to control often has nothing to do with power and everything to do with perceived threat. In this episode, I explore how controlling patterns emerge from Protective Parts that learned vigilance when something essential was once truly at risk: safety, attachment, stability, or dignity. Control became a strategy for survival when support and trust were not available. Over time, however, control can create instability in relationships. What begins as an attempt to prevent pain can unintentionally make others feel unsafe, reinforcing the very isolation and threat the system is trying to avoid. I share how CPTSD shapes these protective responses, why responsibility and hyper-vigilance become intertwined, and how you can begin to locate more trust both internally and externally. Do I Have CPTSD? AssessmentA free, educational assessment to help you determine whether CPTSD is a meaningful framework for understanding your symptoms, patterns, and experiences. https://cptsdmedicine.com/assessment I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39470690

028. Getting Stuck in Thought Loops: A CPTSD Guide to Breaking the Pattern 12/12/2025

028. Getting Stuck in Thought Loops: A CPTSD Guide to Breaking the Pattern Thought loops are one of the most painful and confusing parts of living with CPTSD. You try to stop thinking about something, but your mind keeps spiraling. You feel stuck, ashamed, and exhausted. In this episode, I explain why CPTSD creates these loops, why they feel impossible to escape, and how you can interrupt them without force, judgment, or shame. You will learn a step-by-step process called HONOR that helps CPTSD survivors work directly with the fear, prediction, and inherited family narratives driving the loop. Instead of wasting precious time trapped in anxiety, you will learn how to transform the loop into an opportunity for healing, clarity, and Self Leadership. We will explore: • Why CPTSD thought loops form in the first place • The role of fear and inherited family patterns in creating mental spirals • Why simply telling yourself to “stop thinking about it” never works • How to interrupt the loop using HONOR • How to reclaim your internal leadership so the loop no longer runs your day If you live with CPTSD and want practical, real-world guidance to break free from the mental spirals that steal your time, energy, and peace, this episode will meet you right where you are and show you a way forward. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39360500

027. Stopping the Urge To Explain How To Love You: What CPTSD Influences 12/05/2025

027. Stopping the Urge To Explain How To Love You: What CPTSD Influences So many childhood trauma survivors carry the same belief: If I explain myself clearly enough, they will finally love me the right way. This urge to over-explain is a predictable pattern inside CPTSD. It keeps you working far harder for safety than the other person ever will. This is not a communication issue. It is a capacity issue. You cannot talk someone into being safe, and you cannot use vulnerability or emotional labor to create secure attachment in someone who cannot sustain it. In this episode, I break down the trauma pattern underneath repeated explaining, including younger Parts protesting, reenactments of unpredictable childhood love, and the CPTSD belief that connection is earned through clarity, effort, or emotional performance. You will learn how to recognize the real signal CPTSD is sending: If you must teach someone how to offer basic respect, that is information about the relationship itself. We walk through the Self Leadership move that changes everything. Stop explaining. Start observing. See who they become without your coaching. You will also hear what the dream outcome looks like when your CPTSD is no longer running the show. You choose relationships where you do not need to narrate your worth. You choose people who show care, consistency, and genuine prioritization without being trained. This episode helps you interrupt over-explaining, reclaim your power, and recognize when a relationship cannot meet the safety your healing requires. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39239330

026. Dealing With Clinginess: When CPTSD Rewires Your Attachment Style 11/28/2025

026. Dealing With Clinginess: When CPTSD Rewires Your Attachment Style Clinginess is not desperation. It is the body’s attempt to secure safety in a system shaped by unresolved CPTSD. What people label as “needy” or “too much” is often a trauma-driven response rooted in one belief: I cannot trust others, and I cannot trust myself. In this episode, I break down the attachment injuries created by CPTSD, how they form in environments where affection is unpredictable or conditional, and why clinginess is not a fixed personality trait. When your system finally experiences real safety, clinginess softens because your body no longer braces for disappearance. You will learn how CPTSD shows up as clinginess in adult relationships and healing spaces, including the need for constant reassurance, panic when you do not hear back, attaching too quickly, or leaving before you can be left. These are trust injuries, not personal flaws. We end with practical steps to soften clinginess over time and prompts to help you identify which Parts are using closeness as a survival strategy and what they need to feel safe enough to trust again. Your clinginess is not who you are. Your system is still trying to locate safety. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39180450

025. Impact of CPTSD On Relationships: Inside the CPTSD Survival Instinct 11/21/2025

025. Impact of CPTSD On Relationships: Inside the CPTSD Survival Instinct Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39116895

024: Pushing People Away: How CPTSD Shapes Your Relational Blueprint 11/14/2025

024: Pushing People Away: How CPTSD Shapes Your Relational Blueprint Unresolved CPTSD creates internal pressure that often shows up as pushing people away, even when you desperately want closeness. When your nervous system is running trauma energies, connection feels like danger. You flip between caretaking and harsh judgment because your original attachment loop was never closed. The result is confusion, shame, and the painful sense that you are either too much or not enough in your relationships. This episode breaks down exactly why this happens inside CPTSD and how to interrupt the pattern in real time. You will learn the developmental gap created by anxious attachment, why other people’s emotions overwhelm you so quickly, and what it looks like to regulate before you relate. Healing begins when you understand the CPTSD blueprint driving your reactions. Questions answered in this episode: Why do I push people away when I want closeness? Why do I flip between caretaking and resentment? Why do other people’s emotions overwhelm me so quickly? How can I stay grounded instead of running or attacking? How do I break the pattern of anxious attachment? 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop If you have the time and the money for your healing but no real plan, this workshop is for you. Over four live sessions, I teach “The Map” for a two-year “had CPTSD” journey so you can stop improvising and start following a diagnosis-based plan that actually makes sense. You will leave with clear direction, practical next steps, and the confidence to move forward with purpose. → Save your seat at HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you’re ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/39025985

023. Understanding Why You Feel Hard to Get Along With: When CPTSD Disguises Itself as Personality 11/07/2025

023. Understanding Why You Feel Hard to Get Along With: When CPTSD Disguises Itself as Personality Unresolved CPTSD shapes what you may believe is your personality. When you are running trauma energies, your nervous system does not yet believe you are safe. That constant sense of danger drives behavior that feels rigid, confusing, or self-defeating, but these patterns are not fixed. They are survival programs that can be unlearned and reorganized through CPTSD Resolution. This episode explains why you sometimes feel difficult to be around, why certain reactions repeat, and how to understand the deeper architecture beneath these patterns. When you see the mechanism clearly, you can stop blaming yourself and begin changing what once felt immovable. Questions answered in this episode: How can I change my personality? Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes in relationships? Why do I always attract the same people? How can I reprogram my subconscious mind? 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Learn the exact framework Dr. Wallace uses to help students resolve CPTSD at the root. You’ll leave with a personalized plan for your CPTSD Resolution, new insight into how to leverage your existing supports more effectively, and renewed clarity about your healing path. → Save your seat at HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you’re ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/38939535

022. Creating The Love You Deserve: A Map for Navigating CPTSD 10/31/2025

022. Creating The Love You Deserve: A Map for Navigating CPTSD When should I leave a relationship if I have CPTSD? Many complex trauma survivors find themselves in relationships that feel consuming, confusing, or impossible to let go of. These patterns do not emerge because you are weak or needy. They emerge because your nervous system learned to bond through fear, urgency, and survival rather than safety, steadiness, and choice. In this episode, you will learn how to create the kind of love that feels safe and real. You will understand the internal map that helps you move out of trauma-driven attachment cycles and into partnership that honors your worth, your needs, and your future. How can I start to learn that I am worthy of the kind of love I want? How can I get better at recognizing red flags before I give my heart away? 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Learn the exact framework Dr. Wallace uses to help students resolve CPTSD at the root. You’ll leave with a personalized plan for your CPTSD Resolution, new insight into how to leverage your existing supports more effectively, and renewed clarity about your healing path. → Save your seat at HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you’re ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/38861475

021. Overcoming Fear Of Abandonment: For Humans Healing From CPTSD 10/24/2025

021. Overcoming Fear Of Abandonment: For Humans Healing From CPTSD Why do I have the fear of abandonment? When you live with CPTSD, attachment threats activate the oldest and most overwhelming survival responses in your system. The fear of being left is not simply emotional discomfort. It can feel like a full-body alarm, a collapse in your sense of safety, and a terror that you will not survive the pain. This experience is common, deeply uncomfortable, and confusing. In this episode, you will learn why abandonment fear feels so intense, how it forms, and what actually helps you begin to soothe it. Healing begins when you understand the internal mechanics rather than blaming yourself for the reactions you cannot yet control. What are the signs of abandonment issues? How do I heal my fear of abandonment? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you’re ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/38767615

020. Identifying A Career Built In Survival Mode: Unwinding This Problem in CPTSD Healing 10/17/2025

020. Identifying A Career Built In Survival Mode: Unwinding This Problem in CPTSD Healing Am I recreating my trauma in my work life? Many survivors build entire careers from fear, hypervigilance, shame, and the need to stay one step ahead of disappointment. These patterns can drive impressive achievement, but the cost is steep. Instead of feeling proud, you feel trapped. Instead of feeling fulfilled, you feel depleted. Instead of choosing your work, it feels like it is choosing you. This episode explains how trauma can shape professional success, how to spot when your career has been built inside survival mode, and what it looks like to reclaim your work as a reflection of your True Self rather than a response to unresolved CPTSD. Is my productivity a coping response to unresolved CPTSD? Is my entire personality a trauma response? Have I used achievement to feel safe? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you’re ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/38623020

019. Being More Confident: Understanding This Through the CPTSD Lens 10/10/2025

019. Being More Confident: Understanding This Through the CPTSD Lens How do you become more confident? Confidence is not a personality trait. It is a nervous system state. When you live with CPTSD, confidence often feels out of reach because your body is wired for caution, preparation, and self-doubt. Trauma patterns can disguise themselves as humility, politeness, or carefulness, even though they are really strategies for staying safe. In this episode, you will learn what confidence actually feels like in the body, how to recognize the trauma-driven patterns that mask themselves as “being realistic,” and what it takes to rebuild trust in your own strength and perspective. How do I deal with low confidence? What steps can I take to feel more confident in myself? HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can’t stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn’t hurt. Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you’re ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place. /episode/index/show/marriageishard/id/38543855

Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner: Help With Healing CPTSD

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