Beyond Success

Are you a high achiever who’s worked hard, found success, but still feels like something’s missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to “Beyond Success,” the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I’m David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I’m also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience, expertise, and a passion for helping others to each episode, delivering transformational insights and breakthroughs. Join us each week for deep explorations that will challenge your perspective, inspire personal growth, and guide you toward a more fulfilling life. Whether you’re striving for personal or professional excellence, “Beyond Success” offers the tools, methods, and strategies to help you find your way. Tune in every week for practical wisdom that can lead to real change. If you’re ready to move beyond mere success and discover what truly makes life worth living, this podcast is for you. If you enjoy the podcast, would you consider leaving a short review on Apple iTunes Podcasts? I really appreciate your feedback and love reading the reviews! For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When We Stop Taking Responsibility 06/06/2025

#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When We Stop Taking Responsibility Let’s stop pretending this is just a problem for soldiers and politicians. The “human shields excuse” isn’t just some abstract wartime tactic—it’s the same twisted reasoning people use every day to justify hurting others, dodging accountability, or compromising their integrity. It’s what lets you blow up a relationship and blame the other person for making you do it. It’s how you rationalize crossing a line—then sleep at night because technically, it wasn’t your fault. In war, this excuse gets innocent people killed. In your life, it’s killing your peace of mind, your self-respect, your trust in yourself. This might sound extreme. But if your success feels empty, if your relationships keep breaking down, if you’re stuck in burnout with no idea why—you’re probably making this excuse. Quietly. Repeatedly. And convincing yourself it’s justified. This episode exposes this lie for what it is, and more importantly—how to stop living it. You’ll discover the true cost of the “human shields excuse,” the subtle ways this shows up in your relationships and personal lives, and how to stop committing this fatal error, so you don’t live the rest of your life wondering why your success feels so hollow. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why having a logical justification for blaming another person is a subtle trap that increases your suffering (and how to eliminate mental anguish without blaming others) (3:17) How offloading responsibility from your shoulders is the same excuse war criminals use to justify killing women and kids (15:31) The tragic result of spinning “good guy” stories in your head until you erode your self-trust and confidence completely (16:20) Why short-term wins that hijack your moral compass cost you far more in the long-term - financially and emotionally (19:53) A simple mindset shift that makes you look forward to taking responsibility (especially when it’s hard) (23:32) David Tian’s list of recommended readings can be found here: For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36859995

#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills Emotional Strength 05/30/2025

#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills Emotional Strength Too many people are numb to life, unable to enjoy themselves and their relationships even if they’ve achieved great things. The real problem isn’t intelligence, skill, or drive. It’s a failure to process emotions properly because they’ve lost the ability to use their “heart-mind.” Sadly, most of us have been subtly conditioned to not even know we’re approaching this all wrong. Thankfully, you can learn how to regain clarity of your heart-mind. And once you do, and stick with it, the results are astounding. In today’s episode, I’ll share three key ideas about your heart-mind–your mental and emotional center–so you can stop feeling frustrated, and start feeling fulfilled. Listen now! Show highlights include: What emotional maturity really is, and why most people are left in the dark about it. (1:38) Emotional intelligence “playbook” so you can know exactly how to plan your mental training. (9:32) What “shutdown theory” gets wrong and how it sabotages your joy and vitality. (11:05) Eye-opening reasons you pick silly fights with your loved ones. (14:38) The “Bad Stoicism” that keeps high-performing leaders from actually enjoying their accomplishments. (16:11) Scientific reasons why people who meditate make better decisions. (23:00) How to “rewire” your emotional circuits so you can stay calm and stop getting triggered. (23:16) Hidden message your heart rate is trying to tell you. How to make sure you get the message most people miss. (24:08) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36769350

#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and Start Living for Real 05/23/2025

#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and Start Living for Real The Achiever’s Curse is a deadly one. It starts subtle at first. But left unchecked long enough, it seeps into every aspect of your life, stealing joy and fulfillment every step of the way. Too many achievers don’t realize this insidious curse until they feel the intense pangs of regret on their deathbed. Far too late, in other words. I want to help you avoid this terrible fate… I have read well over 1,000 books in my life - spanning across psychology, philosophy, leadership, business, religion, spirituality, personal growth, and more. Most of them were interesting. A few of them were inspiring. But only a handful got me to think so deeply that they didn’t just change my thinking, but changed how I live in the world. In this episode, I share this odd collection of 12 life-altering books, to help you answer life’s most difficult questions before it’s too late to live your life in a completely different way. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How the ambitious goals that require intense work ethic, study habits, and dedication also lead to misery and depression and even suicidal thoughts when they’re unconsciously driven by this (1:43) 3 tough questions most people never ask themselves (and 12 recommended books that act like your map to answering these existential questions in a way that fulfills your soul) (2:52) The insidious way avoiding death also means you avoid life (and one book that allows you to confront death, and thus, life) (4:40) The “Anti-Permanent” plan for living life fully immersed in the moment instead of silently being controlled by fear, anxiety, and shame (9:55) Why an obsession with productivity is a defense mechanism in disguise (most people realize this far too late when the pangs of regret are unbearable) (11:31) The terrible trap of saving most people fall into that steals fulfillment from your life even when it’s right in your hands (12:58) A weird way to build quiet, immovable confidence by defining morality (14:46) How the realization that meritocracy is a myth actually sets you up to finally quiet your subtle, but brutal toxic shame (29:22) Why play can save a dying marriage from divorce, a business on the verge of bankruptcy, and a cloud of depression from following you for life (33:17) David Tian’s list of recommended readings can be found here: For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more he /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36668165

#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible Life Decisions 05/16/2025

#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible Life Decisions Perhaps the most important skill an intelligent person can learn is the Dao of Decision Making. Making tough, high-stakes decisions doesn’t come naturally to high achievers because they’ve been fooled into valuing their intelligence more than their emotions. But every decision has its roots in emotions… and relying solely on logic and data for these decisions is a quick way to make a decision that wrecks your marriage, your internal harmony, and even your future fulfillment. In other words, there is a better way to access the deep kind of wisdom that makes the answer to high-stake decisions obvious. Problem is, high achievers, by their very nature, have learned to cut off this deep sense of emotional wisdom for their entire lives. That’s why I recorded this episode. You’ll discover the “Dao of Decision Making" method, figure out how to achieve internal harmony before making any high-stakes decisions, and you’ll also learn techniques to give you clarity for every future decision you make. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How to get better at making high-stake decisions (so you don’t accidentally wreck your marriage, your health, or your enjoyment of life) (0:30) Why making decisions based on the best arguments and logic can subtly lead you to misery (1:51) The deadly “Illusion of Rational Clarity” that pits your emotions against your logic and results in making decisions that sets your internal world ablaze, leaving you miserable and unfulfilled (3:10) Here’s the brutal truth behind why smart people make dumb decisions (4:15) The psychological reason behind why you get stuck making decisions (and the airy-fairy-sounding solution smart people rarely consider) (10:17) Confucius’s secret for achieving “Inner Harmony” so making high-stakes decisions becomes as easy and naturally as walking (12:39) Why any decision made from panic or pressure will never be the wisest decision you can make (and how to learn to be still and calm when faced with high-stakes decisions) (16:57) Use this quick protocol whenever you feel yourself spinning from a weight and high-stakes decision - it recenters you so that the wise decision become obvious (18:27) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36576720

#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success 05/09/2025

#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success High achievers are vulnerable to emotional avoidance. It’s subtle, sneaky, and seductive. It tricks you into thinking you’re making progress or crushing goals. But when everything feels flat - no matter how big the accomplishment - it’s a sign that you’re under the spell of emotional avoidance. And emotional avoidance comes with a devastating cost: Losing the entire gamut of your emotions. That might sound alluring at first, until you realize the full cost. It’s not just mental, but physical too. In fact, it could put you in the ground long before your time. But here’s the good news: Emotional Strength is a skill that can be honed, just like any other skill. But it requires approaching your emotions in a new light. In today’s show, you’ll discover the true cost of emotional avoidance, then learn what you can do to avoid paying it. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: What to do if you constantly wonder why nothing feels as fulfilling or satisfying as it should (1:04) How to feel your emotions in a way that makes you stronger instead of weaker (1:48) The scientific reason why suppressing your emotions actually increases your stress and your risk of disease (2:53) How emotional avoidance subtly spirals you into an empty void of despair and hopelessness (5:27) The truth about why you’re on the verge of burnout, always tired and tense, and your relationships feel shallow (6:15) Why unresolved emotional tension can manifest in the body as irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, and autoimmune flares (8:51) The downstream consequences of suppressing “bad” emotions like anger, sadness, and fear (11:51) How to exercise your emotions like your biceps and build your emotional intelligence (19:47) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36483435

#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (& How to Finally Break Free) 05/02/2025

#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (& How to Finally Break Free) Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost: It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you. Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots: No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging. Worst part? There’s only one way to address your emotional blindspots in a way that builds emotional strength and mastery. And it’s not hustling harder, doing more mental gymnastics with your cognitive behavioral therapist, or becoming a master at stress management. The real solution goes far deeper than these knee-jerk reactions most high achievers have. That’s what I share in today’s episode. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why avoiding, distracting, and numbing out your emotions backfires and causes them to hijack your behaviors (even without you realizing it) (1:26) The “emotions aren’t spreadsheets” secret for understanding why you spiral (and why it’s not a problem you can think yourself out of) (2:34) Why “knowing” your emotions doesn’t make you a master at them - the same way “knowing” guitar doesn’t make you play as good as Jimi Hendrix (3:35) 3 exercises to try when intellectualizing your emotions doesn’t help you master them (5:32) Why addressing your emotional blindspots improves your sleep, lessens your compulsive habits’ grip on you, deepens your relationships, and improves your material success (13:06) The sneaky way anger, frustration, and anxiety hide your real emotional pain (15:44) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36418530

#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing Feelings is Weak, Not Strong 04/25/2025

#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing Feelings is Weak, Not Strong Most high achievers take pride in the fact that they’re not too emotional. They stay cool under pressure, act like nothing bothers them, wear their emotional armor like a badge. But one day, they wake up and realize that they’re a mere observer of their life. They’re not actually living their own life. Instead, they feel empty, like something’s missing that they can’t quite put their finger on. Worst part? They don’t realize that the emotional armor they wore so proudly is the exact thing preventing them from experiencing all the good life has to offer: Joy, love, connection, growth. In today’s show, you’ll discover why emotional armor is not emotional strength (despite what you’ve been led to believe), how emotional armor prevents you from experiencing the full breadth of life, and how to start taking steps to remove your emotional armor, so you can show up fully even in the midst of an emotional storm. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Here’s why reaching your biggest, most ambitious goal feels empty (0:48) How suppressed emotions fester under the surface and can actually cause physical pain (2:23) The dark side of making millions before turning 40 that nobody understands or even talks about (4:10) How people with real emotional strength handle being triggered (and no, building emotional strength doesn’t mean you’re immune to being triggered) (8:53) The “Emotional Strength Inoculation” secret for gradually building your emotional resilience without suppressing or repressing emotions that will come back to haunt you (10:32) Why numbing your emotions turns you into a lifeless, soulless robot that never experiences the full breadth of life (16:19) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36306450

#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse 04/18/2025

#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse There are 3 distinct levels to personal development and self-improvement. And most high achievers get trapped forever in Level 2—never fully healing or integrating with their internal world because they’re stuck trying to conquer it. While Level 2 is helpful up to a point, if you stay in Level 2 for too long, you’ll never experience true healing or integration. Worst part? Most influencers and coaches intentionally keep you stuck at Level 2 because it’s easier to sell you “the one thing” you need than to fix yourself than sell the message that you don’t need fixed and you’re already worthy. But there’s a way through Level 2 to reach Level 3 and experience how life fundamentally feels different when you’re healed and integrated. In today’s show, I’ll walk you through the 3 stages of personal growth, explain why Level 2 is so intoxicating, but stagnate, and reveal the counterintuitive approach to get to Level 3. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why obsessing over self-development stunts your internal growth (0:18) The 3 levels of personal development and how learning which level your stuck at explains almost everything about your current struggles (1:04) 3 telltale signs you’re stuck in the insidious “Level 2 Self Improvement” trap (and how to finally break through to the third level and experience true healing) (3:25) The “stop fixing, start listening” secret that actually heals your inner world instead of trying to fix it (4:34) How trying to conquer or change your parts means you’re still not integrating or healing (and one question to help you integrate and heal) (10:15) Why most of the deep- or enlightened-sounding advice on the internet keeps you stuck at level 2 (15:20) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36185410

#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the Wrong Lesson 04/11/2025

#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the Wrong Lesson There are certain emotional scripts you learned in your formative years that are running your life today. These emotional patterns aren’t the enemy. They don’t mean that you're broken as a person or flawed in an insidious way. Instead, it simply means that you’re not aware of these emotional scripts. But if you’re been stuck in the same loops for years, trying harder, doing the same thing over and over, something deeper is necessary. In fact, gritting your teeth and trying harder will only give these emotional scripts more power over you and your behavior. In today’s show, you’ll discover how to start noticing these emotional scripts, you'll understand how they started, and more important, how they protected you, and you’ll learn the key that makes your emotional scripts stop running the show of your life. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Sneaky emotional patterns that control your life without you even realizing it (0:18) A few examples of how you might’ve picked up some of the emotional scripts that still control your every action (2:32) The one thing anxious people who feel broken never hear—but desperately need to hear (5:29) How childhood parts that once protected you can sabotage your adult relationships (and how integrating these parts can stop their self-destruction) (8:37) How to finally break free from being a slave to your emotional patterns (and why it won’t necessarily feel like a perfect sense of enlightenment) (17:14) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36063765

#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not Enough (& How Wu Wei Fixes It) 04/04/2025

#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not Enough (& How Wu Wei Fixes It) Most people, and high achievers in particular, suffer from a paradoxical problem: Trying too hard backfires and causes your deepest, darkest fears to realize. When high achievers are confronted with a problem in their personal or professional life, their first instinct is to push harder, work longer, go on more dates. They’re desperately searching for connection, peace, joy, and love. But they don’t realize that their need for control keeps these forever out of their reach. But there’s an ancient solution to this problem: Wu Wei, acting without inner friction. However, you can’t approach it like some business metric. In fact, you have to learn to stop trying so hard, to loosen your grip on control if you want to experience the effortless flow that’s the main ingredient in true mastery of life. In today’s show, I breakdown what Wu Wei really is, why most high achievers totally miss it, and how you can become more fulfilled in life by trying less. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why trying too hard in life has devastating consequences that will deprive you of every joy (0:18) How to incorporate “modern Wu Wei” into your life before you rip apart everything you want most—like connection, peace, joy, and love (2:05) The paradoxical way you heal naturally by not trying as hard (6:44) The single most toxic mindset that has killed more potential than any other mindset in human history (9:04) How you make your life into a hollow void when you fall into the insidious “Trap of the Shoulds” (11:18) Why positive thinking and affirmations are actually a deadly suppression skill that take you further away from what you crave most in life (17:53) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35987940

#29: How to Find Peace by Leaning into Chaos 03/28/2025

#29: How to Find Peace by Leaning into Chaos Most high achievers have been sold a lie: that Chaos is a threat that will take everything from you, and the only way to handle it is with more control. But if you look into any high achiever’s life, relationships, or business, you’ll see a similar through line: They’re quietly miserable no matter how much material success they’ve accumulated. Why does this same story play out across so many lives? Because when you try to control chaos, you cut yourself off from half of life. Peace doesn’t come from a lack of chaos, it comes in the midst of chaos. And chaos is the raw material of growth, creativity, love, and leadership. The trick isn’t to compartmentalize your life so much that you don’t feel chaos. It’s to lean into the chaos, be curious with the chaos, and gain wisdom from it. In today’s show, I’m going to dismantle the lie that chaos should be avoided by turning to ancient Chinese philosophy, Buddhist psychology, and even modern day leadership coaching. And I’ll show you how leaning into the chaos doesn’t just shift your mindset or cause a paradigm shift, it gives you an entirely new way of being. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why trying to control chaos is a failing strategy that will devour your fulfillment of life (0:28) How to flow through your problems like water down a river (and why this framework leads to more success and happiness than trying to conquer a particular obstacle) (2:55) The insidious way “white knuckling” your way through stress sabotages your sleep quality, your relationship, and your joy for life (3:25) 3 characteristics toddlers in the middle of a tantrum crave more than anything else (and no, none of the characteristics include lecturing) (6:01) The counterintuitive formula for peace that applies to parenting, intimate relationships, your career, and your inner, emotional world (8:20) How to get unstuck in your career, your relationship, and your life by leaning into chaos instead of shying away from it (11:04) The single best lesson from Tony Robbins that can 10x your business if you take it seriously (12:32) Feel stuck in a paralyzing trap of analyzing? Here’s why doing more when you feel uncomfortable emotions can only make you more lost (and what to do instead) (17:08) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35886650

#28: How to Create Deep Connection, No Matter Who's Around You 03/21/2025

#28: How to Create Deep Connection, No Matter Who's Around You If you wanted to grow bigger muscles, you could read all the strength training books you wanted. But until you go to the gym and apply your knowledge to your body, your muscles will never grow. That’s the same way the muscle of connection works. But for some reason, high achievers especially are prone to fall into the trap of thinking they can build connection by listening to podcasts, reading books, or even going into individual therapy. This misses the mark that connection is a skill. And the only way to improve at a skill is to practice it with other people. In today’s show, you’ll discover why connection is a skill that can be honed with practice, how to start practicing it (even if it feels uncomfortable), and what your life could be like with intentional practice. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How to rewire your nervous system to be okay with vulnerability (and why you must do this if you want to experience true connection) (1:49) 5 ways to practice the skill of connection if you think you’re not wired for connection (3:44) The weird way your habits, emotions, and health are influenced by a friend of a friend of a friend (6:58) Why being able to figure things out on your own is actually a massive hindrance to connection (11:47) The “immersion” secret that explains why reading more books, listening to more podcasts, and trying to logic your way to emotional depth can never work (14:30) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35787495

#27: Why Success Kills Connection (& What To Do About It) 03/14/2025

#27: Why Success Kills Connection (& What To Do About It) Most people who struggle with connection chalk it up to a personality trait. They think their personality, which benefits them in other areas, just makes connection harder for them. But this is actually a defense mechanism in disguise, created by a protective part of you that was created by an old wound. This wounded part of you whispers into your ear that connection will come if you just hustle more, achieve more accolades, or have more material success. But this protective part of you is stuck in old beliefs that protected you in your formative years, but will sabotage you in adult life. That’s the bad news. The good news? This doesn’t mean you’re fundamentally broken or flawed. It just means that your protective parts are still trying to protect you—they’re just doing it in a way that deprives you of the connection you need to feel fulfilled. In today’s show, I’ll explain four distinct ways this might be manifesting in your life, so you can build awareness and start to heal the protective parts who accidentally trick you into self-sabotage. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Watch out for these sneaky defense mechanisms that will keep you unfulfilled and miserable (worst part? they seem like logic!) (0:16) How old relationship wounds resurface in intimate adult relationships and prevent you from the connection your true self seeks (2:44) 3 key childhood ingredients that create the “lone wolf” defense mechanism identity (3:44) Why accumulating more status, value, or wealth won’t fix the empty hole in your relationship (and how to actually heal this void) (6:25) Do you always hit a wall when it’s time to be vulnerable? Here’s how to help an exiled part of you heal so emotional walls stop suffocating intimacy (12:55) How to leverage your fear to create the deep connections your subconscious craves (14:02) The weird, but true way high achievers use productivity as a distraction (and how this crushes your self-worth the more successful you become) (15:47) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35652500

#26: The Hidden Reason You're Unfulfilled (Even If You're Successful) 03/07/2025

#26: The Hidden Reason You're Unfulfilled (Even If You're Successful) Successful high achievers think they can always rely on themselves more than on other people. This idea helped fuel their success. But it’s also why their success isn’t fulfilling, and why they feel on the verge of burnout. In fact, a deep-rooted drive to do everything yourself is a sign that something's off under the surface. Isolation isn’t a strength. It’s a slow acting poison that leads to burnout, frustration, and an early grave. And you know what? If you resonate with this, you’ve just encountered a problem that you cannot solve alone. Why? Because the answer to unfulfilling success is connection. Connection is the key to everything you want (even if you don’t realize it or have tricked yourself into enjoying your own isolation). In today’s show, you’ll discover why so many achievers screw up this fundamental truth about building a good and fulfilling and successful life—and how to start getting it right. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The little-known reason why grinding your life away can be as lethal to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day (1:51) How high achievers rewire their nervous system to be more susceptible and affected by stress (and how to reverse this before it’s too late) (4:52) Why aren’t the wealthiest and most successful people the happiest? Here’s the cold, hard truth (6:12) The bizarre way your friend’s friend’s friend can make you gain weight (even if you never meet him)—and how this broadly applies to your entire social network (7:25) Maslow admitted his hierarchy of needs was wrong… are you still basing your success around it? (12:07) 4 fundamental human anxieties that drive all of your behavior (15:59) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35565145

#25: Why You're Not Happy & Fulfilled (Even Though You "Should" Be) 02/28/2025

#25: Why You're Not Happy & Fulfilled (Even Though You "Should" Be) If you’re a high achiever, you probably have a tendency to prioritize work above all else. Results are the most important thing to you. And all the other stuff—like deep relationships that offer true connection—are treated as “nice to haves.” But this is perhaps the biggest tragedy a high achiever could face. Because when something hits the fan one day (whether a gut-wrenching divorce, a paralyzing business problem, or even achieving a massive milestone), there’s nobody you care about whom you can really turn to. Nobody who actually cares about your triumphs or tribulations. Worst part? You never feel truly fulfilled because you can’t be fulfilled without connection. Instead, you just feel empty. Like something deep is missing. And you know what? It’s also an example of hustling backwards. If you truly want to be as successful as you can and feel deeply fulfilled even in the face of challenges, connection matters more than your skill set, your IQ, or any other metric you think contributes to success. This is backed by several studies that came to this exact conclusion: Connection is the hidden key to success and longevity and happiness. In today’s show, you’ll see how lacking deep, meaningful relationships prevent success, fulfillment, happiness, and even your longevity. And more importantly, you’ll discover how to reverse these common trends achievers experience before it’s too late. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The hard way high achievers can live longer, become more successful and feel more fulfilled (0:36) How chronic loneliness kills you at the same rate as smoking 15 cigarettes per day (2:16) Have you ever felt like you should be happy, but aren’t? Here’s what’s happening behind the scenes of your emotions and how to fix it (4:10) The single most powerful “optimization hack” that most achievers completely overlook and ignore (5:16) Here’s the one thing all the best companies, highest performing teams, and most effective have in common (it’s not the most skilled employees or teams with the highest IQ) (9:11) How to boost the most important metrics of your team—like performance, creativity, resilience, and retention—by focusing on emotions, not results (12:35) The cold, hard truth about why friendships disappear (and how to stop them before they do) (13:30) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35456030

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (& How to Attract the Right Ones) 02/21/2025

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (& How to Attract the Right Ones) Most people chalk up their attraction problems to external sources: Maybe they think they need better strategies and skills. Or they believe that dating apps are against them. Or maybe it’s just that they’re unlucky. Here’s the bad news: If you've been struggling with attraction, confidence, or relationships, the problem isn't some external force working against you. The real issue is the unconscious patterns, your “Relationship Blueprint,” controlling your life. Worst part? Since your mind creates your “Relationship Blueprint” early in your formative years, most people don’t even realize it’s pulling all the strings. And until you face these unconscious patterns, the same unconscious patterns will keep popping up and sabotaging your relationships. But I also have good news: In today’s show, you’ll discover how your "Relationship Blueprint” unconsciously sabotages your relationships, how to rewire it, and why you’ll be a more calm, collected, and confident person after rewiring it. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The brutal truth about why you keep repeating the same patterns that only lead to frustration and heartbreak (0:34) How your shadow twists your fears, insecurities, and anger into a toxic soup in your subconscious that sabotages relationships (and why you must retake control of your shadow for relationship success) (3:34) The “Relationship Blueprint” that’s been wired into your mind since childhood that explains every adult relationship you’ve been in (and how to rewire it) (8:51) Why outsourcing your confidence to external validation works as a mask, but cripples your true self-esteem (17:13) The 4-step healing and transformation process that rewires your “Relationship Blueprint” (23:52) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35373660

The Dark Psychology Behind Attraction Strategies (and Why They Always Backfire) 02/14/2025

The Dark Psychology Behind Attraction Strategies (and Why They Always Backfire) As a former player myself, I know first-hand how crushing the “Grandiosity-Shame Cycle” is. Almost all players fall into this psychological trap that only leads to rage, doubt, depression, and despair. But you know what? It’s not just players who are at risk of falling into this sabotaging cycle. Any one who builds his or her identity around external validation is at risk of falling into this deep emotional hole, where compulsive self-destruction and total emptiness become your new normal. To drive home just how devastating the “Grandiosty-Shame Cycle” is, today’s episode looks at a real life example of how this cycle plays out. In today’s show, we’re analyzing the tragic rise and fall of one of the most famous pickup artists in the world, Erik von Markovik, better known as Mystery. Mystery’s story shows you just how dangerous the “Grandiosty-Shame Cycle” is, why seeking external validation always results in misery, and how to pull yourself out of this toxic cycle if you show any of the telltale signs. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: A real life example of how being trapped in the “Grandiosity-Shame Cycle” can throw you into a suicidal episode (3:04) The weird reason successful players become obsessive, jealous, and insecure when facing real intimacy (6:54) 2 things every man must do to break out of the “Grandiosity-Shame Cycle” (or it will forever sabotage your relationships) (8:37) How relying on external validation is a fast track to being consumed by rage, doubt, depression, and despair (10:39) Why you’re drawn to romantic partners who reflect your deepest childhood wounds (and how to avoid heartbreak in these relationships) (15:12) The counterintuitive reason narcissistic defenses actually come from deep, unresolved traumas, not arrogance like most people believe (24:22) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35253575

The Dating Lies You've Been Sold (And Why They're Keeping You Single) 02/07/2025

The Dating Lies You've Been Sold (And Why They're Keeping You Single) Men who have a desire to improve at dating often fall into the trap of tactics. And they fundamentally believe that their lack of success is not because of them, but because of the modern dating world. So they seek to “optimize” individual tactics involved in modern dating—fixing their profile on dating apps, becoming more successful in their career, hitting the gym and getting a six-pack—without ever confronting the real root cause of their dating failures: Themselves! Of course, this route is far easier than confronting your deep-rooted emotional issues. You may even experience short-term successes too: More dates, getting laid more often, and being surrounded by beautiful women more often. But this short-term success comes with a cost… It deprives you of the very thing you actually want: A real, authentic connection with someone you love. Why? Because obsessing over dating tactics is a way to blame the world for your failures instead of looking in the mirror. But only by looking in the mirror and doing the work can you actually create an authentic and fulfilling relationship. In today’s show, you’ll discover why men externalize their dating struggles instead of owning them, how unresolved attachment wounds keep you in the same toxic dating patterns, how chasing external validation leads to loneliness, and most importantly, how to actually address these issues so they stop showing up in your dating life. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The weird way getting more matches on dating apps can erode your confidence (1:09) Do you think that women only care about status and wealth? Here’s why this is an example of classic projection of your insecurities (3:12) How taking the easy route in dating helps you overcome heartache faster—at the expense of a successful lasting relationship (5:14) 3 questions that break through your unconscious projections sabotaging your dating life (6:52) Why do people end up in the same, frustrating dating patterns no matter how much they've learned from previous relationships? They fall into one of these three categories… (8:31) How obsessing over your profile on dating apps prevents you from experiencing true love and connection. Here’s why: (18:25) The insidious “Grandiosity-Shame Dynamic” that explains why men struggle in their relationships with women (and how to conquer this shortcoming) (21:45) How you’re setting yourself up for loneliness, resentment, and self-destruction in your dating life without even realizing it (24:50) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35173170

The Missing Ingredient for Lasting Attraction: Investment (It's Not What You Think) 01/31/2025

The Missing Ingredient for Lasting Attraction: Investment (It's Not What You Think) Does your relationship feel like it's dying a slow death? The passion is gone. The original spark has been extinguished. And resentment for your partner may even be surfacing. Here’s the truth: This is a “stress test” almost all relationships go through. But if you’re a people pleaser, then, well, this is usually where your relationship goes to die. Why? Because people pleasers see the signs of a relationship dying and unknowingly double down on the exact things that drove the relationship to the graveyard in the first place. This only suffocates it faster. So, how do you handle this relationship problem in a way that fosters attraction, commitment, and enjoyment in your relationship instead of smothering it? In today’s show, I reveal three key steps to reignite the spark in your relationship, share the missing ingredient that creates lasting attraction, and show you how to rebuild a more fulfilling relationship. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The truth behind why your relationship feels hollow (hint: the missing piece isn’t love) (0:35) How ignoring this fact of human nature sets you up for mediocrity in your relationships, career, and personal life (1:04) Why the "Effort Justification Theory” can reveal why a relationship feels empty—and give you a roadmap for reigniting the spark (2:27) Here’s the real reason why attraction fades in a relationship (and why it has nothing to do with how attractive you are) (5:33) The secret emotional ingredient for creating authentic, passionate feelings in any relationship (8:10) Ever wonder why so many marriages end in divorce? These are the 2 major causes (8:37) Why people pleasers tend to resent their partners when they neglect this (12:21) How willpower suffocates emotional ties and cripples relationships (14:44) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35094345

Master Inner Game: How to Become More Attractive on Dates & Magnetic as a Leader 01/24/2025

Master Inner Game: How to Become More Attractive on Dates & Magnetic as a Leader When you want to become more successful in business, relationships, or life, most people focus on tactics, strategies, and skills. But there’s a bigger obstacle to your success than your lack of tactics, strategies, and skills… In fact, without first addressing this obstacle, success will never come easy, no matter how hard you keep pushing. Why? Because the obstacle you have to overcome is yourself. And no amount of pushing, prodding, or plotting can help you outrun yourself. That’s the bad news. The good news? You don’t have to outrun yourself to succeed. Instead, you have to master your “Inner Game,” or the internal thoughts and feelings that run in the background of your subconscious. When you master your “Inner Game,” your inner critic becomes your most ardent and loyal supporter. In today’s show, you’ll discover how to take the first step towards mastering your internal world, so success in business, relationships, and life naturally follows. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The #1 biggest obstacle most achievers overlook and ignore—and how it costs them (0:32) The “Inner Game” secret that only the world’s most successful and fulfilled people understand (1:39) How a tennis coach can show you how to be a better leader, a better husband, and a better father (even if you’ve never swung a tennis racket in your life) (1:48) Why pushing harder for success leaves you more vulnerable to gut-wrenching failures (and what to do instead when success plateaus) (2:24) 2 simple steps to transform your inner critic from your archrival to your most loyal ally (5:29) The bizarre way achievers fear success more than failure (and how to figure out if you do this too) (6:13) How worrying about the sending the perfect text to a new romantic interest or hiring the perfect candidate for your business makes it impossible to do either (9:12) Why preparing too much can sink a business deal, sabotage a romantic relationship, and fill you with endless dread (11:22) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/34968710

Is The "Upper Limit Problem" An Invisible Force Secretly Controlling Your Life? 01/17/2025

Is The "Upper Limit Problem" An Invisible Force Secretly Controlling Your Life? Question: Have you ever reached a high point in life (a major win, a big breakthrough, or a massive milestone)... only to feel like the rug’s been pulled from underneath you? Well, I have good news and bad news: If you find yourself second guessing yourself, procrastinating, picking fights with loved ones, or just a sinking, uneasy feeling that shows up whenever an opportunity knocks on your door, you might be going through the “Upper Limit Problem.” The “Upper Limit Problem” happens when emotional energies from your childhood (and sometimes, from your parents’, grandparents’, and even ancestors’ childhoods) creates a heavy cloud over your emotional mind. It's vague, yet oppressive. And it can sabotage relationships, suffocate success, and stifle fulfillment and freedom. But here’s the good news: You don’t have to carry these burdens—whether they stem from your own experience or from generational fear and beliefs. And I show you exactly how to start this process of unburdening yourself in this episode. Ready to remove these invisible limits, open up more opportunities, and unlock a deeper, more lasting sense of joy, love and fulfillment? Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The insidious, invisible force that pulls the rug from under you every time you achieve a new milestone (and how to break free from its wrath) (0:44) How "unattached burdens” from your parents’ childhoods can sabotage your relationships, limit your career opportunities, and keep you stuck in a loop of frustration (3:03) The historical reason behind why Asian parents have a tendency to downplay their children’s success (4:31) Do you ever feel a weird heaviness overtake you whenever you get close to a big opportunity? Here’s why this happens and how to prevent it (5:35) 5 examples of how the “Upper Limit Problem” manifests in your adult life (if you notice yourself doing any of these, here’s what to do…) (7:53) How to release the unattached burdens your subconscious picked up from generational fears or beliefs that prevent you from living a truly fulfilling life (16:32) Why well-meaning, but misguided messages from childhood can cripple and hinder your success today (20:51) Is your business stuck in a cycle of withering instead of growing? Here’s one unusual way to grow your business by 50% (24:09) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/34875230

How To Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty 01/10/2025

The Gossip Trap: How It Silently Destroys Trust & Connection 01/03/2025

The Gossip Trap: How It Silently Destroys Trust & Connection Most people never stop to question today’s topic. But it silently poisons relationships, teams, and even your own peace of mind. Worst part? It masquerades as an innocent and harmless way to blow off steam. But it actually erodes trust, creates drama, and keeps pressing problems unresolved. Of course, we’re talking about gossip today. Not only is it harmful to anyone you gossip to and about, but it’s insidious to you too. In today’s show, you’ll discover the real cost of gossip, the truth behind why we gossip (and how to fix it), and most importantly, how to break the vicious cycle of gossip and stop it from undermining your relationships, your career, and your life. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: This seemingly harmless habit chips away at your integrity, trust, and conscience (0:50) Why gossipping is one of the biggest red flags you or a potential partner could have (2:37) 3 hidden reasons for why you gossip—and how to stop before it sabotages your trust and integrity (4:31) The weird short-term benefits of gossiping and how it causes irreversible long-term damage (6:20) How gossip dupes you into believing you’re resolving conflict when you’re actually just fanning the flames (9:41) The obvious, yet difficult alternative to gossip that strengthens relationships instead of tears them apart (12:35) The “Strike When The Iron’s Cold” secret to making tough conversations easier than gossiping (13:25) How to cultivate a gossip-free zone in your personal and professional life (17:56) One question that almost instantly turns complaining into problem-solving and stops you (and others) from gossiping (18:46) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/34701310

Time Does Not Heal Emotional Wounds: Do This Instead 12/27/2024

Time Does Not Heal Emotional Wounds: Do This Instead A messy breakup or divorce can cause devastating trickle down consequences when you don’t learn how to rebuild your trust. But many people wrongly believe that time can heal all wounds. But this passive approach leads you down a road of fear, resentment, and isolation. Why? The truth is that time does not heal emotional wounds. And expecting it to will only trick you into repeating the same patterns that resulted in a messy breakup in the first place. While this process won’t be easy, it’s possible. And when you follow the 5 steps I lay out in today’s show, then not only create a foundation for a fulfilling relationship, but this growth will ripple into every area of your life. Ready for the next chapter of your life to be one of purpose, connection and joy? Listen now. Show Highlights Include: 3 devastating consequences that happen when you fail to rebuild trust after suffering a deep, emotional wound (0:48) Why relying on time alone to heal yourself is a failed strategy that fills you with misery (and how to actually heal yourself) (1:25) The “Post-Relationship Analysis” secret for using a breakup to make your next relationship more fulfilling, lasting, and healthier (3:23) Why your intuition crumbles after a difficult breakup—and one simple technique to strengthen your intuitions (6:31) How holding onto negative emotions like betrayal, humiliation, and bitterness after a breakup silently sabotages your next relationship (13:34) Why you must forgive people who wronged you if you want to lead a healthy and fulfilling life (15:34) The counterintuitive reason fully feeling your worst emotions makes them evaporate instead of controlling you (17:43) How to avoid falling into old patterns that undermined your past relationships (23:08) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/34631180

Why Smart, Successful People Struggle to Make Life's Biggest Decisions 12/20/2024

Why Smart, Successful People Struggle to Make Life's Biggest Decisions Do you struggle making tough decisions because indecision is easier? While this is something everyone confronts at one point or another, it comes with a steep cost: While indecision might feel like it provides relief in the short term, it eventually erodes your confidence, your relationships, and your ability to lead. It also creates a ripple effect that extends to every other aspect of your life. Worst part? Indecision is a slow poison and you might not realize the sabotaging effects it has immediately. In fact, it’s common to only realize its effects until it’s too late: After you’re served divorce papers, get laid off from your job, or realize you hate the life you’ve created for yourself. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are three key steps to becoming more decisive, so you can avoid the gut-wrenching pain that always comes with indecision. And by the end of this episode, you’ll know exactly how to do this. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: This “invisible power” is your most valuable tool for creating the life you want (2:18) The single biggest mistake you’re making in your relationship that leads to regret, resentment, stagnation, and breaking up (3:13) How imperfect and even downright incorrect decisions are better for your mental health, career, and marriage than avoiding decisions (4:52) Why “keeping the peace” in your relationship is a surefire way to get handed divorce papers (8:10) 3 ways to hone “Radical Responsibility” that allow you to take full control over your relationships, career, and life (10:31) The insidious "Death Anxiety” trap many people fall into that slowly poisons their fulfillment of life (and how to overcome this psychological fear) (14:15) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/34499175

How to Recover from a Break Up or Divorce 12/13/2024

How to Recover from a Break Up or Divorce Going through a breakup or recovering from a divorce is one of the most emotionally complex experiences you'll ever face. It’s always messy and layered. And if you don’t approach it with the right mindset, you’ll fall back into the old patterns and habits that destroyed your previous relationships. That’s the bad news. The good news? Not only are emotions temporary and fleeting, including the entire grieving process, but it’s possible to rebuild your life and relationships in a way that ensures long-term success in your next relationship. It won’t be easy. I know this from my own divorce. But it’s possible. And you know what? By the end of this episode, you'll understand exactly what it takes to turn the pain of your breakup into fuel for your personal growth. You'll be equipped to rebuild yourself from the ground up, not just so you can get over it, but so that you can step into your next chapter of your life with confidence, clarity and freedom. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why rushing into your next relationship after a divorce or break up is a recipe for a similar outcome (and what to do instead to fully heal yourself first) (1:20) How relying on time alone to heal deep emotional wounds sabotages your ability to connect with others (1:50) The 5 stages of a relationship—and how to master each separate stage (4:48) Why feeling like your relationship is doomed to failure is an important step that can actually deepen your connection (6:22) The “mirrors” secret to relationships that can either unlock significant personal growth or cause unbridled resentment for your partner (10:08) Why a relationship built on passion is destined to crumble into shambles (and what to build your relationship on instead to sustain it for the rest of your life) (10:52) How taking responsibility for your ex messing up allows you to use your heartbreak to become stronger and more resilient for your next relationship (12:54) 3 safe ways to express your anger so it doesn’t fester under the surface and cause more serious outbursts (20:19) The weird way your furniture, music playlists, and old habits from your last relationship can undermine your next relationship (23:16) The “self-surgery” mindset shift that will help you emotionally recover from a divorce or break up faster and with fewer obstacles (29:36) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/34423460

Dating After Divorce or a Break Up: 3 Steps to Re-enter the Dating World 12/06/2024

Dating After Divorce or a Break Up: 3 Steps to Re-enter the Dating World There is nothing more gut-wrenching than a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship. It makes you question everything. And nobody gives you a manual for how to rebuild your personal life after a messy breakup. The modern dating landscape makes this even more difficult. Dating apps can feel like a second job that doesn’t pay or even lead to dates. And the professional skills you’ve developed to become a high achiever don’t work for building relationships. And if you clicked on the title of this episode, there’s a good chance you’re feeling a deep sense of frustration, uncertainty, and fear. But here’s the good news: Not only is it possible to bounce back after a rough breakup, but it gives you an opportunity to build a deeper, more authentic connection that fulfills you in ways that weren’t possible in your last relationship. I’m living proof: Today I have a loving family (even after my first divorce about 20 years ago). And that’s what I reveal in today’s episode. You’ll discover how to rebuild your identity, how to make the modern dating landscape work for you, and how to develop emotional intelligence so you’re prepared for your next relationship. By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear road map to confidently re-enter the dating world, not with uncertainty or awkwardness, but with a sense of clarity, purpose and ease that matches the confidence you've built in your professional life. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How the wrong romantic partner bleeds into your work, your health, and your overall fulfillment in life (1:00) Where to start after a crushing divorce or end to a long-term relationship to rebuild your personal life in a way where this doesn’t happen again (5:22) The weird way your forgotten hobbies help you overcome the heartbreak of divorce (6:10) Why unaddressed breakup wounds will sabotage your next relationship (and the “scars and all” mindset shift to heal from these wounds as soon as possible) (7:27) How high achievers can attract worthy partners in the modern dating landscape (even if if your last serious relationship started before dating apps) (9:42) The #1 most underrated (and most effective) way to meet potential partners who already share your values (11:51) How the qualities that make you successful at work repel your dream partner in intimate relationships (16:40) How to answer the question about past relationships on a date in a way that builds connection instead of protecting your ego (20:02) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/34317455

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Beyond Success

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