Beyond Success

Are you a high achiever who’s worked hard, found success, but still feels like something’s missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to “Beyond Success,” the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I’m David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I’m also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience, expertise, and a passion for helping others to each episode, delivering transformational insights and breakthroughs. Join us each week for deep explorations that will challenge your perspective, inspire personal growth, and guide you toward a more fulfilling life. Whether you’re striving for personal or professional excellence, “Beyond Success” offers the tools, methods, and strategies to help you find your way. Tune in every week for practical wisdom that can lead to real change. If you’re ready to move beyond mere success and discover what truly makes life worth living, this podcast is for you. If you enjoy the podcast, would you consider leaving a short review on Apple iTunes Podcasts? I really appreciate your feedback and love reading the reviews! For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery

#53: Breaking Free from Sexual Shame: The Hidden Weight You Don't Have to Carry 09/12/2025

#53: Breaking Free from Sexual Shame: The Hidden Weight You Don't Have to Carry Most people, thanks to religious, cultural, or family baggage, carry around the unnecessary burden of toxic sexual shame. Sometimes this isn’t even your own shame, it’s been passed down through generations under the guise of virtue. Here’s the problem: Unchecked sexual shame seeps into your relationships, your leadership, and threatens your very fulfillment of life. Even if it was never yours to carry. That’s why it’s imperative to lift your burden of sexual shame. Not only will it keep your relationships shallow, but it will also shatter your sense of self-trust and corrode your confidence. Worst part? Sexual shame often manifests in the worst possible ways: in compulsions, addictions, secrecy, and self-sabotage. That’s the bad news. The good news? You don’t have to allow your shame to be your teacher any longer after you listen to this episode. In today’s show, you’ll discover how religious, cultural, and family baggage fill you with borrowed shame, how reframing sexual morality can lift your burden of sexual shame, and the consequences of continuing to repress your sexual shadow - and how to integrate it instead. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How sexual morality crushes you under the weight of sexual shame and holds you back from trust, intimacy, and fulfillment (1:11) Why do people carry sexual guilt for decades longer than even theft guilt or murder guilt? (5:41) How toxic shame “oozes” out of you in the form of compulsions, betrayals, and even living a double life (6:38) The corrupted history of sexual morality and how it continues to fill couples with unexplainable shame to this day (9:11) Here’s the cold hard truth about why you act one way in public and another in private (11:54) This question helps you reframe sexual morality in a positive way instead of one that fills you with toxic shame (13:37) How your sexual shadow seeps out in addictions, secrecy, and self-sabotage (and how to address it before it shatters your marriage) (19:01) 4 ways to practice sexual morality in a way that eliminates the burden of sexual shame instead of contributing to it (27:35) For more about David Tian, go here: Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you’ve crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you’ve built the life you thought you wanted, yet there’s still something important missing. I’ve put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what’s really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It’s fast. It’s practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/38181090

#52: Why Compassion is the Secret to Trust, Love, & Fulfillment 09/05/2025

#52: Why Compassion is the Secret to Trust, Love, & Fulfillment There’s one ingredient missing from many high achievers’ lives that drains all the fulfillment from their success, turns small failures into a life-or-death scenario, and slowly poisons your relationships at home and at work. Worst part? Most high achievers have conditioned themselves into believing that this missing ingredient is a weakness to be snuffed out at each step. So, they trap themselves in a toxic cycle that keeps repeating no matter how many of the variables they try to change. The missing ingredient? Compassion. Not only is compassion not a weakness, but it’s a strength that expresses your maturity. In today’s show, I’ll explain why compassion is the missing ingredient to your fulfillment, I’ll share the historical, religious, and evolutionary arguments for compassion, and you’ll discover simple ways to start practicing compassion so your compassion muscle and fulfillment grows. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How a lack of compassion results in a total lack of fulfillment, even if it doesn’t appear that way on the surface (1:31) The cold, hard truth about why you’re avoiding being compassionate (and the insidious consequences that can arise when you stop yourself from giving compassion to others) (4:34) The evolutionary proof that compassion is necessary for thriving in life (7:10) How compassion glues your different parts together and creates a reliable stream of self-trust and unshakeable confidence (9:05) Here’s why the most insecure people are also the most selfish and self-centered (13:40) Why the fastest way to heal yourself is to heal others (according to the Buddha) (14:30) 3 ways a lack of compassion undermines your leadership, poisons your relationships, and hijacks your inner world (16:39) How to start practicing compassion in your life if you don’t know where to begin (20:46) For more about David Tian, go here: Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you’ve crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you’ve built the life you thought you wanted, yet there’s still something important missing. I’ve put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what’s really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It’s fast. It’s practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/38084065

#51: Why Courage Is Key to the Life You’ve Been Chasing 08/29/2025

#51: Why Courage Is Key to the Life You’ve Been Chasing Most people treat fear as the enemy. They avoid it, numb it, or try to silence it. But here’s the truth: fear isn’t the problem. Fear is the forge where courage is born. Every meaningful step in life requires it. Asking for the promotion. Saying what you actually want in a relationship. Telling the truth when it risks your reputation. Without courage, integrity collapses. Relationships stay shallow. Careers stall. And fulfillment slips further out of reach. In this new episode, David reveals why courage isn’t about being fearless, but about acting even while fear screams at you to run. You’ll hear how our deepest protective patterns—whether in love or leadership—form around fear, and why they keep us stuck until we summon the courage to face them. Drawing on ancient wisdom, modern psychology, and real-world client stories, David explains how courage creates the self-trust, stability, and intimacy that fulfillment demands. And he offers practical steps to start cultivating courage daily—through mapping your fears, practicing small acts of bravery, and surrounding yourself with peers who lift you higher. The life you’ve been chasing doesn’t require perfection. It requires courage. Because without it, you’re destined for mediocrity. With it, you finally open the door to growth, connection, and a life worth living. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How fear stalls your career, keeps relationships shallow, and slowly erodes your self-worth (and how to stop letting fear control your life) (1:23) The twisted way avoiding your fear makes you feel them 10x worse (5:39) Why waiting for your fear to disappear is a losing strategy (and how to hone your fears to build courage) (7:33) How to guarantee your life is nothing but mediocrity (and the ONLY path to true greatness) (12:05) How fear can either expand your life or shrink your existence (15:19) The “Progressive Overload” secret for building your courageous muscle slowly over time (instead of burning out paralyzed by fear) (16:22) How simply hanging around more courageous people can quickly ramp up your own courage (20:26) For more about David Tian, go here: Feeling like success in one area of life has come at the expense of another? Maybe you’ve crushed it in your career, but your relationships feel strained. Or you’ve built the life you thought you wanted, yet there’s still something important missing. I’ve put together a free 3-minute assessment to help you see what’s really holding you back. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a personalized masterclass that speaks directly to where you are right now. It’s fast. It’s practical. And it could change the way you approach leadership, love, and fulfillment. Take the first step here → /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37998510

#50: Integrity: Why It's Required for Happiness & How to Cultivate It 08/22/2025

#50: Integrity: Why It's Required for Happiness & How to Cultivate It If you constantly feel on edge, like a wave of anxiety is always crashing directly into your nervous system, then I have some tough news for you: The root of anxiety is almost always a lack of integrity in some aspect of your life. When you tell yourself one thing, but then do another thing, your body keeps score. It knows you’re lying to yourself (and to others). And this is where integrity fractures, causing insurmountable anxiety, agitation, and a complete loss of peace and fulfillment. But you know what? Even if your lack of integrity has caused mental distress, it’s possible to claw your way out of the hole you’ve built and rebuild your self-trust. It won’t be easy or pretty. But the deep sense of relief and peace you feel on the other side will be worth it. In today’s show, you’ll discover why integrity feeds happiness & fulfillment, how the consequences of broken integrity could literally land you in a federal prison like Elizabeth Holmes, and the 4-step process for cultivating your integrity and reclaiming your mental health. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The cautionary tale about the true, real-world cost of acting without integrity (and how it got Elizabeth Holmes, founder of Theranos, serving 11 years in federal prison) (0:44) The “Showshen” secret for developing an ironclad sense of integrity before a lack of integrity rips everything good from your life (4:15) How living two or three lives at once not only fractures your integrity, but also slowly eats away at your sense of fulfillment (5:40) Why developing your sense of integrity will actually energize you (even if it seems like a tough hill to climb at the beginning) (7:01) The one common denominator behind almost every psychotherapeutic problem and every therapy appointment (8:05) How integrity physically reduces your cortisol levels (the stress hormone) permanently (9:43) The insidious way lying to yourself creates anxiety and self-doubt and demolishes your self-trust (and how this applies to even innocent white lies) (11:06) 12 real-world consequences of broken integrity that you may not notice now, but will come back to haunt you (14 :56) Listening to this client story will forever change the way you think about anxiety (16:58) The 4-step formula to cultivate your integrity and create a life filled with peace and harmony and fulfillment (20:26) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37902335

#49: The Surprising Power of Moral Character in a Cutthroat World 08/15/2025

#49: The Surprising Power of Moral Character in a Cutthroat World There’s a deep irony that happens to people who chase validation and power at all costs: They’re the ones who end up exhausted, paranoid, alone, burnt out, bitter, and resentful in the long-term. If it hasn't happened yet, it’s only a matter of time. The trouble is, many high achievers fall into this insidious trap of self-sabotage. You may have even noticed some of the signs starting to emerge in your life. There is a solution to this. A way where you build trust with your inner system, and get peace as the result. But it won’t be easy. The solution? Developing your sense of moral character and staying consistent to your values, even when (or perhaps especially when) it’s hard. In today’s show, you’ll discover why moral character is a prerequisite to living a long and happy life, the real world cost to your body and health when you don’t live in accordance to your values, and why your morality can give you a deeper meaning of success. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How developing your moral character will help you sleep at night, free you from your anxieties, and let you set down the mask you’ve been wearing (3:02) The real world cost to your health when you betray your values backed by scientific research (5:57) This question will change your view of success from one that looks good on paper to one that makes life worth living (7:44) The biological and evolutionary reason for developing your moral compass (8:08) How developing good character will make you a better partner - in both the bedroom and the boardroom (9:54) The “investment in your nervous system” mindset shift to stop seeing moral virtue as a sacrifice (22:10) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37815780

#48: Why the Sage's Journey Fulfills You When the Hero's Journey Stops Making Sense 08/08/2025

#48: Why the Sage's Journey Fulfills You When the Hero's Journey Stops Making Sense There’s an ancient Western myth that’s been adopted by the masses and often without their consent. It can be found in movies like Star Wars and Finding Nemo. It’s in books like The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. It’s the secret theme included in your favorite TEDx Talk. And it’s something that’s taken for granted in almost every business podcast that exists. Worst part? This myth may be responsible for your success… but, if left unchecked, it’s responsible for the low-grade anxiety, under-the-surface numbness, and quiet sadness you feel but never talk about. The same story that got you this far - to win, to prove, to conquer - is the very thing keeping you stuck. It’s The Hero’s Journey and you can see its impact in nearly every kind of media you consume. But the problem is, stories never tell the full story - and after successfully going through The Hero’s Journey, life takes on a bleak and gray undertone that whispers, “You’re not enough and will never be enough.” That’s the bad news. The good news? The Sage’s Journey is the antidote to the dull ache of confusion inside you. But it’s not a tale of conquering dragons, so you may have never heard of it. And it’s definitely not as well known, even though it’s just as ancient. That’s because it’s a quieter journey. One that happens in your internal world instead of the external one. And it’s the only way to unlock joy and lasting fulfillment in your life. And that’s what you’ll discover when you tune into this week’s show. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How the “Warrior Identity” that’s responsible for your success is also the root cause of your emotional exhaustion and lack of fulfillment in life (and how to upgrade your identity) (0:24) The “Path of the Sage” secret to stop proving yourself and to start becoming yourself (2:26) Why books, movies, graduation speeches, and even business podcasts silently fill you with an unquenchable sense of existential dread that only The Sage’s Journey can solve (2:54) How to experience unbridled joy, naturally, when you bend down to tie your shoes, as you browse through the grocery store, and when you hold a child (16:06) The “Conquering Your Dragon” trap high achievers fall into that only reinforces your belief that you’re not enough (and how to set your sword down and experience freedom for perhaps the first time) (20:24) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37717705

#47: Why Self-Help Isn't Working (& The Mirror Method That Finally Does) 08/01/2025

#47: Why Self-Help Isn't Working (& The Mirror Method That Finally Does) Most people I’ve coached have a similar story: They inherited the “Silent Blueprint” lie as a child that told them they must perform, impress, and achieve to feel like they’re enough. And yet, at a certain point, their wins feel like losses. No matter how much they achieve, they go to bed with a dull emptiness in their chest that they can’t explain, much less address. Why? Because no amount of winning fills the void in your internal system. Turns out, the “Silent Blueprint” wasn’t just a lie, but an insidious one that poisons your happiness and fulfillment from the inside out. That’s the bad news. The good news? In today’s show, I explain how to use my proven “Mirror Method” to address your unexplored past, unburden inner parts you’ve suppressed and exiled, and finally integrate your parts and step out of self-sabotaging cycles for good. Let me be clear: This deep work is not easy. But it’s the only thing that can fill the empty emotional crater in your chest. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The insidious dull ache in many so-called successful people, explained (0:31) The “Silent Blueprint” lie many of us were told is the recipe for happiness (and why it only fills you with emptiness instead) (2:35) How to conquer your “high achiever anxiety” that turns wins into losses, triumphs into defeats, and accomplishments into existential emptiness (3:21) A psychological explanation of self-sabotage that actually empowers you to address the root cause (5:14) The “Mirror Method” for getting to know your parts without judgment or fear, so you can integrate them and stop the vicious loop of self-destruction for good (8:24) Why reading more books, taking more courses, and tweaking more Notion dashboards is a wicked form of procrastination in disguise that burdens you with shame (11:32) The weird reason it’s your moral duty to integrate your parts (13:38) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37619375

#46: Why You Still Feel Stuck Even After Doing 'The Work' 07/25/2025

#46: Why You Still Feel Stuck Even After Doing 'The Work' So many high achievers do the “right things.” They read the books. They practice breath work. They follow the morning routines. They “hack” their productivity. All of these things can make them feel calmer, more in control, and more focused. Until chaos erupts, and you find yourself back in your same-old destructive patterns and emotional loops. Why does this happen? Because most personal development is only surface level. And since it’s only surface level, as soon as your deeper parts get triggered, they act in the only way they know how. In other words, falling back into the same emotional loops is a sign that you haven’t deeply healed your inner system yet. That’s the bad news. The worse news?Doing more of the “right things” cannot fix these deeper wounds. In fact, they’ll only make them worse. But in today’s episode, you’ll discover how you can actually heal these deeper wounds and finally integrate all of your parts into a harmonious inner system. It’s the only proven way to permanently stop repeating the same destructive patterns. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The cold, hard truth about why the personal growth changes you make never last (1:02) Carl Jung’s secret for healing your emotional world and actually making it stick (5:04) Why making your inner critic shut up actually delays your healing journey (and why listening to it can finally make it stop sabotaging you) (5:32) The "Internal War” trap that leads to burnout, rage, and self-destruction (7:52) Here’s what you can expect to feel on a daily basis when you fully integrate your parts (14:05) How high achievers actually make their work, their relationships, and their life harder (and the only proven way to get out of your own way) (14:55) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37517590

#45: Why Hustling Harder Will Only Get You Worse Results 07/18/2025

#45: Why Hustling Harder Will Only Get You Worse Results Most high achievers are being driven by the absolute worst source of fuel: Fear, guilt, shame, and insecurities. These traps are alluring because they’re actually effective routes to short-term success. And they disguise themselves as grit, discipline, and sheer determination. Problem is… the well eventually runs dry. And that’s the real reason why you feel stuck, uninspired, drained, and like you’re always playing catch up. Worst part? You might feel like you’re being lazy, undisciplined, or just aren’t hungry enough. That’s when most high achievers double down, hustle harder, and deprive themselves of the simple joy of being alive. And no amount of short-term success can prevent the inevitable long-term debt you’ll pay: Your relationships suffer. Your body suffers. You hit milestones that feel meaningless. You drift through your days numb, distracted, or secretly angry. And you lose yourself trying to win a race that never ends. But here’s the good news: This doesn’t have to be your life. You just need a different source of fuel. And in today’s show, you’ll discover what this different source of fuel is and how to build it. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The true source of success that many high achievers never realize until they feel dead inside (0:41) The weird thing drinking too much caffeine reveals about your success, fulfillment, and happiness (especially over the long-term) (2:12) The neurochemical explanation behind flow (and how understanding the science behind it allows you to enter it more freely) (2:55) Why designing your life around enjoyment instead of suffering is the single best formula for long-term career success (even if it sounds wrong, lazy, or feels like you’re cheating) (4:16) The counterintuitive reason discipline and grit will break you (7:16) The "leaking energy” trap which explains your burnout, your daily frustrations, and your overwhelming sense of hopelessness even in the midst of “success” (12:02) How to expand your tolerance for discomfort, give your pain a place to go, and turn the crap you’ve been through into unlimited fuel (and why most high achievers never accomplish this) (14:18) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37439050

#44: When 'Self-Defense' Becomes Self-Destruction 07/11/2025

#44: When 'Self-Defense' Becomes Self-Destruction Many leaders are driven by an insidious fear that tells them their sense of self-worth depends on their ability to protect their mask. But your mask is just an outdated story your subconscious created, and protecting this mask can only drive a wedge between you and your spouse, your kids, and your team. This is why it feels like you’re constantly at war. You are. Feedback morphs into betrayal. Correction morphs into humiliation. Making a mistake makes you feel like you’re being erased. This is not a good way to live - and it’s an even worse way to lead. It leaves nothing but destruction and turmoil in your wake. Worst part? If you’re driven by fear, it’s not an easy fix. But it is possible. In today’s show, you’ll discover sneaky ways you’re letting your fear control you, understand the real world consequences that follow by continuing to live in fear, and learn the tough way to break out of fear’s grip before it shatters everything you love about your life. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The “Weaponizing Self-Defense” trap that leaders fall into that burns out their team, damages their relationships, and subdues them into isolation (0:52) Why you always feel like you’re at war in your personal and professional life (and the hard, yet effective way to overcome this feeling) (4:10) How fear makes you see your shortcomings in everyone except yourself (5:26) This sentence is the most toxic phrase a parent can speak (worst part? it masquerades as self-defense, but it’s actually deflection) (7:48) Why shame turns into contempt for the people you love most (and how to stop it before it cripples your marriage) (9:16) How your desire to control the myth your subconscious mind created causes you to lash out at your spouse, explode on your team, and burden your children with your emotional baggage (11:29) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37358875

#43: Why No State Has a 'Right to Exist' and Why That Matters for You 07/04/2025

#43: Why No State Has a 'Right to Exist' and Why That Matters for You The “right to exist” is a common myth used to justify aggression, destruction, and death. But states aren’t people. Structures rise and fall all the time. And using this argument to justify the actions of a state is misleading at best, and downright evil at worst. And yet… people make a similar faulty argument in their own lives all the time. This is especially true if you have a leadership position: A founder clings to a vision that no longer works. A CEO resists a restructuring that could save the company. A parent refuses to see their child's independence as growth and not betrayal. Not only does this “right to exist” myth create suffering in your life, but it creates suffering in the lives of anyone else involved too. When you confuse your role with your value, your job title, your dating success, or anything else, you fall into this trap and everyone affected pays. In today’s show, we’ll dissect geopolitical propaganda and show you how this same “right to exist” myth may manifest in your life. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The dangerous “right to exist” myth commonly seen in geopolitical quagmires that can also sever the connection to your true self (2:14) How to easily tell when fear’s driving your behaviors by being able to discern propaganda from arguments (14:02) If every disagreement becomes a threat, every challenge feels like an attack, and every change starts to feel like a death… here’s what this says about your emotional world (15:07) Why clinging to an external identity paves the way for internal suffering, feeling stuck, and being unfulfilled (and the reason this runs rampant in leadership positions) (16:12) The weird way elite CEOs allow their egos to sabotage their businesses (20:01) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37270000

#42: Emotional Strength Isn’t Built by Crushing Your Feelings 06/27/2025

#42: Emotional Strength Isn’t Built by Crushing Your Feelings The trickiest part about healing your inner world is learning to figure out the difference between self-help schticks and true healing. They are often confused with each other - especially by high achievers. And the cost you pay for mixing them up is hefty. Like, for example: * Striving for more and more success even when it feels empty * Sabotaging your relationships at home and at work * Developing a severe case of burnout, numbness, and depression And worst of all: * Tricking yourself into thinking you’re growing when you’re really building more emotional armor that will forever keep deep fulfillment from your grasp. Here’s the truth: More productivity hacks, more pressure, and more control won’t help you integrate. It’s a form of suffocation for parts you label as bad or weak or needy. But they don’t disappear, they wait until you're at your most vulnerable, then they attack. The solution isn’t to try harder or to fix yourself. It’s to recognize the positive intentions of even your “worst” parts, integrate them, and lead them. It’s easier said than done, but nothing gives you a deeper sense of fulfillment in every aspect of your life. If you feel like you’re broken or something’s missing, listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why most high achievers develop a split personality that quietly leads to burnout, angst, and depression (2:10) How to interpret the positive intentions of your “problematic” parts like the people pleaser, the critic, and the procrastinator (4:12) How to make your relationships feel safer, your work feel more meaningful, and to better handle stress when it attacks by refusing to war against yourself (4:50) The “GROW” secret for becoming the most clear, calm, and confident version of yourself possible (5:53) The insidious “P-word” that slowly creeps into your emotional world, filling you with an overwhelming sense of numbness and disconnection (8:52) Why your ability to solve problems leaves you emotionally bankrupt (and how to become comfortable “sitting” with problems instead of rushing to solve them) (11:17) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37159930

#41: The High Cost of Hiding Your True Emotions 06/20/2025

#41: The High Cost of Hiding Your True Emotions Many high achievers treat vulnerability as if it’s a four-letter word. And it’s easy to understand why: they’ve been told leaders must keep their emotions in check, and be level-headed and strong in the face of challenges. But the misunderstandings about vulnerability aren’t just unfortunate, they’re devastating. Because they lead to people going numb to their feelings and relationships, all while convincing themselves they’re doing the right thing. In this episode I’m going to cut through the fog and show you what vulnerability really looks like. I’ll explain how vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the missing piece that can restore your ability to lead at work, love at home, and actually live your life instead of watching it go by. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: “Silent killer” mindset that destroys relationships without a single argument. (2:25) The hard truth about intimacy that social media doesn’t want you to know. (4:25) How emotional armor traps you in a losing battle and sends your loved ones into retreat. (5:38) What the last set of your gym workout can teach you about vulnerability. (10:20) Surprising reason men shy away from arguments with loved ones. (12:08) Why blame and vulnerability don’t mix. (13:48) How to build genuine emotional strength. (15:00) Why suppressed emotions become a shadow dictator, and how to liberate yourself from their tyranny. (15:27) The “loving parent” secret to weather emotional surges. (16:00) How to override your emotional autopilot and reclaim the driver’s seat of your own life. (18:53) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37068795

#40: You’ve Been Lied to About What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong 06/13/2025

#40: You’ve Been Lied to About What It Means To Be Emotionally Strong Almost everything you’ve learned about emotional “strength” is not only a flat-out lie, but completely backwards. Toughing it out, staying in control, never letting others see you sweat - these aren’t signs of emotional strength, but emotional blindness. And emotional blindness comes with a steep cost that nobody deserves to pay: It leaves you empty, unfulfilled (even after milestone achievements), and depressed. Why? Because the old way of being emotionally strong is really fear in disguise. And fear is the ultimate mind-killer. That’s the bad news. The good news? Once you realize that emotions are not distractions and are, in fact, the very point of life itself, then you can approach emotional regulation like the skill it is. And skills can be mastered - as long as you’re open to the idea. In today’s show, besides debunking the outdated emotional strength myth, you’ll also discover the true cost of emotional blindness and how to reconnect with your emotional world before it’s too late. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: A brutal, real-life story that shows you the devastating cost of emotional blindness (and how it almost cost me my life) (1:37) How “toughing out” your negative emotions eviscerates your joy, your relationships, and even your ability to love and be loved (6:52) 3 telltale nervous system signs that happen when you receive a snarky text that will tell you whether you’re actually emotionally strong… or just emotionally blind (9:21) The “Emotional Regulation” technique used by the world’s most elite athletes that regulates your emotional system instead of being hijacked by it (11:19) Why thinking of your emotions as distractions is the quickest way to feel so hollow that nothing can fill the void (not even career success, marriage, or becoming a millionaire) (17:27) The underlying emotional reason behind why you micromanage your team (and how to address your emotions before your entire team quits) (23:27) The simple, yet difficult 3-step process to finally stop reacting to and running away from your emotions (it will take time and patience, but nothing you achieve in life will be as meaningful as mastering this) (24:40) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/37009270

#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When We Stop Taking Responsibility 06/06/2025

#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When We Stop Taking Responsibility Let’s stop pretending this is just a problem for soldiers and politicians. The “human shields excuse” isn’t just some abstract wartime tactic—it’s the same twisted reasoning people use every day to justify hurting others, dodging accountability, or compromising their integrity. It’s what lets you blow up a relationship and blame the other person for making you do it. It’s how you rationalize crossing a line—then sleep at night because technically, it wasn’t your fault. In war, this excuse gets innocent people killed. In your life, it’s killing your peace of mind, your self-respect, your trust in yourself. This might sound extreme. But if your success feels empty, if your relationships keep breaking down, if you’re stuck in burnout with no idea why—you’re probably making this excuse. Quietly. Repeatedly. And convincing yourself it’s justified. This episode exposes this lie for what it is, and more importantly—how to stop living it. You’ll discover the true cost of the “human shields excuse,” the subtle ways this shows up in your relationships and personal lives, and how to stop committing this fatal error, so you don’t live the rest of your life wondering why your success feels so hollow. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why having a logical justification for blaming another person is a subtle trap that increases your suffering (and how to eliminate mental anguish without blaming others) (3:17) How offloading responsibility from your shoulders is the same excuse war criminals use to justify killing women and kids (15:31) The tragic result of spinning “good guy” stories in your head until you erode your self-trust and confidence completely (16:20) Why short-term wins that hijack your moral compass cost you far more in the long-term - financially and emotionally (19:53) A simple mindset shift that makes you look forward to taking responsibility (especially when it’s hard) (23:32) David Tian’s list of recommended readings can be found here: For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36859995

#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills Emotional Strength 05/30/2025

#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills Emotional Strength Too many people are numb to life, unable to enjoy themselves and their relationships even if they’ve achieved great things. The real problem isn’t intelligence, skill, or drive. It’s a failure to process emotions properly because they’ve lost the ability to use their “heart-mind.” Sadly, most of us have been subtly conditioned to not even know we’re approaching this all wrong. Thankfully, you can learn how to regain clarity of your heart-mind. And once you do, and stick with it, the results are astounding. In today’s episode, I’ll share three key ideas about your heart-mind–your mental and emotional center–so you can stop feeling frustrated, and start feeling fulfilled. Listen now! Show highlights include: What emotional maturity really is, and why most people are left in the dark about it. (1:38) Emotional intelligence “playbook” so you can know exactly how to plan your mental training. (9:32) What “shutdown theory” gets wrong and how it sabotages your joy and vitality. (11:05) Eye-opening reasons you pick silly fights with your loved ones. (14:38) The “Bad Stoicism” that keeps high-performing leaders from actually enjoying their accomplishments. (16:11) Scientific reasons why people who meditate make better decisions. (23:00) How to “rewire” your emotional circuits so you can stay calm and stop getting triggered. (23:16) Hidden message your heart rate is trying to tell you. How to make sure you get the message most people miss. (24:08) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36769350

#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and Start Living for Real 05/23/2025

#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and Start Living for Real The Achiever’s Curse is a deadly one. It starts subtle at first. But left unchecked long enough, it seeps into every aspect of your life, stealing joy and fulfillment every step of the way. Too many achievers don’t realize this insidious curse until they feel the intense pangs of regret on their deathbed. Far too late, in other words. I want to help you avoid this terrible fate… I have read well over 1,000 books in my life - spanning across psychology, philosophy, leadership, business, religion, spirituality, personal growth, and more. Most of them were interesting. A few of them were inspiring. But only a handful got me to think so deeply that they didn’t just change my thinking, but changed how I live in the world. In this episode, I share this odd collection of 12 life-altering books, to help you answer life’s most difficult questions before it’s too late to live your life in a completely different way. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How the ambitious goals that require intense work ethic, study habits, and dedication also lead to misery and depression and even suicidal thoughts when they’re unconsciously driven by this (1:43) 3 tough questions most people never ask themselves (and 12 recommended books that act like your map to answering these existential questions in a way that fulfills your soul) (2:52) The insidious way avoiding death also means you avoid life (and one book that allows you to confront death, and thus, life) (4:40) The “Anti-Permanent” plan for living life fully immersed in the moment instead of silently being controlled by fear, anxiety, and shame (9:55) Why an obsession with productivity is a defense mechanism in disguise (most people realize this far too late when the pangs of regret are unbearable) (11:31) The terrible trap of saving most people fall into that steals fulfillment from your life even when it’s right in your hands (12:58) A weird way to build quiet, immovable confidence by defining morality (14:46) How the realization that meritocracy is a myth actually sets you up to finally quiet your subtle, but brutal toxic shame (29:22) Why play can save a dying marriage from divorce, a business on the verge of bankruptcy, and a cloud of depression from following you for life (33:17) David Tian’s list of recommended readings can be found here: For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more he /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36668165

#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible Life Decisions 05/16/2025

#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible Life Decisions Perhaps the most important skill an intelligent person can learn is the Dao of Decision Making. Making tough, high-stakes decisions doesn’t come naturally to high achievers because they’ve been fooled into valuing their intelligence more than their emotions. But every decision has its roots in emotions… and relying solely on logic and data for these decisions is a quick way to make a decision that wrecks your marriage, your internal harmony, and even your future fulfillment. In other words, there is a better way to access the deep kind of wisdom that makes the answer to high-stake decisions obvious. Problem is, high achievers, by their very nature, have learned to cut off this deep sense of emotional wisdom for their entire lives. That’s why I recorded this episode. You’ll discover the “Dao of Decision Making" method, figure out how to achieve internal harmony before making any high-stakes decisions, and you’ll also learn techniques to give you clarity for every future decision you make. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How to get better at making high-stake decisions (so you don’t accidentally wreck your marriage, your health, or your enjoyment of life) (0:30) Why making decisions based on the best arguments and logic can subtly lead you to misery (1:51) The deadly “Illusion of Rational Clarity” that pits your emotions against your logic and results in making decisions that sets your internal world ablaze, leaving you miserable and unfulfilled (3:10) Here’s the brutal truth behind why smart people make dumb decisions (4:15) The psychological reason behind why you get stuck making decisions (and the airy-fairy-sounding solution smart people rarely consider) (10:17) Confucius’s secret for achieving “Inner Harmony” so making high-stakes decisions becomes as easy and naturally as walking (12:39) Why any decision made from panic or pressure will never be the wisest decision you can make (and how to learn to be still and calm when faced with high-stakes decisions) (16:57) Use this quick protocol whenever you feel yourself spinning from a weight and high-stakes decision - it recenters you so that the wise decision become obvious (18:27) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36576720

#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success 05/09/2025

#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success High achievers are vulnerable to emotional avoidance. It’s subtle, sneaky, and seductive. It tricks you into thinking you’re making progress or crushing goals. But when everything feels flat - no matter how big the accomplishment - it’s a sign that you’re under the spell of emotional avoidance. And emotional avoidance comes with a devastating cost: Losing the entire gamut of your emotions. That might sound alluring at first, until you realize the full cost. It’s not just mental, but physical too. In fact, it could put you in the ground long before your time. But here’s the good news: Emotional Strength is a skill that can be honed, just like any other skill. But it requires approaching your emotions in a new light. In today’s show, you’ll discover the true cost of emotional avoidance, then learn what you can do to avoid paying it. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: What to do if you constantly wonder why nothing feels as fulfilling or satisfying as it should (1:04) How to feel your emotions in a way that makes you stronger instead of weaker (1:48) The scientific reason why suppressing your emotions actually increases your stress and your risk of disease (2:53) How emotional avoidance subtly spirals you into an empty void of despair and hopelessness (5:27) The truth about why you’re on the verge of burnout, always tired and tense, and your relationships feel shallow (6:15) Why unresolved emotional tension can manifest in the body as irritable bowel syndrome, migraines, and autoimmune flares (8:51) The downstream consequences of suppressing “bad” emotions like anger, sadness, and fear (11:51) How to exercise your emotions like your biceps and build your emotional intelligence (19:47) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36483435

#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (& How to Finally Break Free) 05/02/2025

#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (& How to Finally Break Free) Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost: It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you. Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots: No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging. Worst part? There’s only one way to address your emotional blindspots in a way that builds emotional strength and mastery. And it’s not hustling harder, doing more mental gymnastics with your cognitive behavioral therapist, or becoming a master at stress management. The real solution goes far deeper than these knee-jerk reactions most high achievers have. That’s what I share in today’s episode. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why avoiding, distracting, and numbing out your emotions backfires and causes them to hijack your behaviors (even without you realizing it) (1:26) The “emotions aren’t spreadsheets” secret for understanding why you spiral (and why it’s not a problem you can think yourself out of) (2:34) Why “knowing” your emotions doesn’t make you a master at them - the same way “knowing” guitar doesn’t make you play as good as Jimi Hendrix (3:35) 3 exercises to try when intellectualizing your emotions doesn’t help you master them (5:32) Why addressing your emotional blindspots improves your sleep, lessens your compulsive habits’ grip on you, deepens your relationships, and improves your material success (13:06) The sneaky way anger, frustration, and anxiety hide your real emotional pain (15:44) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36418530

#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing Feelings is Weak, Not Strong 04/25/2025

#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing Feelings is Weak, Not Strong Most high achievers take pride in the fact that they’re not too emotional. They stay cool under pressure, act like nothing bothers them, wear their emotional armor like a badge. But one day, they wake up and realize that they’re a mere observer of their life. They’re not actually living their own life. Instead, they feel empty, like something’s missing that they can’t quite put their finger on. Worst part? They don’t realize that the emotional armor they wore so proudly is the exact thing preventing them from experiencing all the good life has to offer: Joy, love, connection, growth. In today’s show, you’ll discover why emotional armor is not emotional strength (despite what you’ve been led to believe), how emotional armor prevents you from experiencing the full breadth of life, and how to start taking steps to remove your emotional armor, so you can show up fully even in the midst of an emotional storm. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Here’s why reaching your biggest, most ambitious goal feels empty (0:48) How suppressed emotions fester under the surface and can actually cause physical pain (2:23) The dark side of making millions before turning 40 that nobody understands or even talks about (4:10) How people with real emotional strength handle being triggered (and no, building emotional strength doesn’t mean you’re immune to being triggered) (8:53) The “Emotional Strength Inoculation” secret for gradually building your emotional resilience without suppressing or repressing emotions that will come back to haunt you (10:32) Why numbing your emotions turns you into a lifeless, soulless robot that never experiences the full breadth of life (16:19) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36306450

#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse 04/18/2025

#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse There are 3 distinct levels to personal development and self-improvement. And most high achievers get trapped forever in Level 2—never fully healing or integrating with their internal world because they’re stuck trying to conquer it. While Level 2 is helpful up to a point, if you stay in Level 2 for too long, you’ll never experience true healing or integration. Worst part? Most influencers and coaches intentionally keep you stuck at Level 2 because it’s easier to sell you “the one thing” you need than to fix yourself than sell the message that you don’t need fixed and you’re already worthy. But there’s a way through Level 2 to reach Level 3 and experience how life fundamentally feels different when you’re healed and integrated. In today’s show, I’ll walk you through the 3 stages of personal growth, explain why Level 2 is so intoxicating, but stagnate, and reveal the counterintuitive approach to get to Level 3. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why obsessing over self-development stunts your internal growth (0:18) The 3 levels of personal development and how learning which level your stuck at explains almost everything about your current struggles (1:04) 3 telltale signs you’re stuck in the insidious “Level 2 Self Improvement” trap (and how to finally break through to the third level and experience true healing) (3:25) The “stop fixing, start listening” secret that actually heals your inner world instead of trying to fix it (4:34) How trying to conquer or change your parts means you’re still not integrating or healing (and one question to help you integrate and heal) (10:15) Why most of the deep- or enlightened-sounding advice on the internet keeps you stuck at level 2 (15:20) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36185410

#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the Wrong Lesson 04/11/2025

#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the Wrong Lesson There are certain emotional scripts you learned in your formative years that are running your life today. These emotional patterns aren’t the enemy. They don’t mean that you're broken as a person or flawed in an insidious way. Instead, it simply means that you’re not aware of these emotional scripts. But if you’re been stuck in the same loops for years, trying harder, doing the same thing over and over, something deeper is necessary. In fact, gritting your teeth and trying harder will only give these emotional scripts more power over you and your behavior. In today’s show, you’ll discover how to start noticing these emotional scripts, you'll understand how they started, and more important, how they protected you, and you’ll learn the key that makes your emotional scripts stop running the show of your life. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Sneaky emotional patterns that control your life without you even realizing it (0:18) A few examples of how you might’ve picked up some of the emotional scripts that still control your every action (2:32) The one thing anxious people who feel broken never hear—but desperately need to hear (5:29) How childhood parts that once protected you can sabotage your adult relationships (and how integrating these parts can stop their self-destruction) (8:37) How to finally break free from being a slave to your emotional patterns (and why it won’t necessarily feel like a perfect sense of enlightenment) (17:14) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/36063765

#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not Enough (& How Wu Wei Fixes It) 04/04/2025

#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not Enough (& How Wu Wei Fixes It) Most people, and high achievers in particular, suffer from a paradoxical problem: Trying too hard backfires and causes your deepest, darkest fears to realize. When high achievers are confronted with a problem in their personal or professional life, their first instinct is to push harder, work longer, go on more dates. They’re desperately searching for connection, peace, joy, and love. But they don’t realize that their need for control keeps these forever out of their reach. But there’s an ancient solution to this problem: Wu Wei, acting without inner friction. However, you can’t approach it like some business metric. In fact, you have to learn to stop trying so hard, to loosen your grip on control if you want to experience the effortless flow that’s the main ingredient in true mastery of life. In today’s show, I breakdown what Wu Wei really is, why most high achievers totally miss it, and how you can become more fulfilled in life by trying less. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why trying too hard in life has devastating consequences that will deprive you of every joy (0:18) How to incorporate “modern Wu Wei” into your life before you rip apart everything you want most—like connection, peace, joy, and love (2:05) The paradoxical way you heal naturally by not trying as hard (6:44) The single most toxic mindset that has killed more potential than any other mindset in human history (9:04) How you make your life into a hollow void when you fall into the insidious “Trap of the Shoulds” (11:18) Why positive thinking and affirmations are actually a deadly suppression skill that take you further away from what you crave most in life (17:53) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35987940

#29: How to Find Peace by Leaning into Chaos 03/28/2025

#29: How to Find Peace by Leaning into Chaos Most high achievers have been sold a lie: that Chaos is a threat that will take everything from you, and the only way to handle it is with more control. But if you look into any high achiever’s life, relationships, or business, you’ll see a similar through line: They’re quietly miserable no matter how much material success they’ve accumulated. Why does this same story play out across so many lives? Because when you try to control chaos, you cut yourself off from half of life. Peace doesn’t come from a lack of chaos, it comes in the midst of chaos. And chaos is the raw material of growth, creativity, love, and leadership. The trick isn’t to compartmentalize your life so much that you don’t feel chaos. It’s to lean into the chaos, be curious with the chaos, and gain wisdom from it. In today’s show, I’m going to dismantle the lie that chaos should be avoided by turning to ancient Chinese philosophy, Buddhist psychology, and even modern day leadership coaching. And I’ll show you how leaning into the chaos doesn’t just shift your mindset or cause a paradigm shift, it gives you an entirely new way of being. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Why trying to control chaos is a failing strategy that will devour your fulfillment of life (0:28) How to flow through your problems like water down a river (and why this framework leads to more success and happiness than trying to conquer a particular obstacle) (2:55) The insidious way “white knuckling” your way through stress sabotages your sleep quality, your relationship, and your joy for life (3:25) 3 characteristics toddlers in the middle of a tantrum crave more than anything else (and no, none of the characteristics include lecturing) (6:01) The counterintuitive formula for peace that applies to parenting, intimate relationships, your career, and your inner, emotional world (8:20) How to get unstuck in your career, your relationship, and your life by leaning into chaos instead of shying away from it (11:04) The single best lesson from Tony Robbins that can 10x your business if you take it seriously (12:32) Feel stuck in a paralyzing trap of analyzing? Here’s why doing more when you feel uncomfortable emotions can only make you more lost (and what to do instead) (17:08) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35886650

#28: How to Create Deep Connection, No Matter Who's Around You 03/21/2025

#28: How to Create Deep Connection, No Matter Who's Around You If you wanted to grow bigger muscles, you could read all the strength training books you wanted. But until you go to the gym and apply your knowledge to your body, your muscles will never grow. That’s the same way the muscle of connection works. But for some reason, high achievers especially are prone to fall into the trap of thinking they can build connection by listening to podcasts, reading books, or even going into individual therapy. This misses the mark that connection is a skill. And the only way to improve at a skill is to practice it with other people. In today’s show, you’ll discover why connection is a skill that can be honed with practice, how to start practicing it (even if it feels uncomfortable), and what your life could be like with intentional practice. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: How to rewire your nervous system to be okay with vulnerability (and why you must do this if you want to experience true connection) (1:49) 5 ways to practice the skill of connection if you think you’re not wired for connection (3:44) The weird way your habits, emotions, and health are influenced by a friend of a friend of a friend (6:58) Why being able to figure things out on your own is actually a massive hindrance to connection (11:47) The “immersion” secret that explains why reading more books, listening to more podcasts, and trying to logic your way to emotional depth can never work (14:30) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35787495

#27: Why Success Kills Connection (& What To Do About It) 03/14/2025

#27: Why Success Kills Connection (& What To Do About It) Most people who struggle with connection chalk it up to a personality trait. They think their personality, which benefits them in other areas, just makes connection harder for them. But this is actually a defense mechanism in disguise, created by a protective part of you that was created by an old wound. This wounded part of you whispers into your ear that connection will come if you just hustle more, achieve more accolades, or have more material success. But this protective part of you is stuck in old beliefs that protected you in your formative years, but will sabotage you in adult life. That’s the bad news. The good news? This doesn’t mean you’re fundamentally broken or flawed. It just means that your protective parts are still trying to protect you—they’re just doing it in a way that deprives you of the connection you need to feel fulfilled. In today’s show, I’ll explain four distinct ways this might be manifesting in your life, so you can build awareness and start to heal the protective parts who accidentally trick you into self-sabotage. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: Watch out for these sneaky defense mechanisms that will keep you unfulfilled and miserable (worst part? they seem like logic!) (0:16) How old relationship wounds resurface in intimate adult relationships and prevent you from the connection your true self seeks (2:44) 3 key childhood ingredients that create the “lone wolf” defense mechanism identity (3:44) Why accumulating more status, value, or wealth won’t fix the empty hole in your relationship (and how to actually heal this void) (6:25) Do you always hit a wall when it’s time to be vulnerable? Here’s how to help an exiled part of you heal so emotional walls stop suffocating intimacy (12:55) How to leverage your fear to create the deep connections your subconscious craves (14:02) The weird, but true way high achievers use productivity as a distraction (and how this crushes your self-worth the more successful you become) (15:47) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35652500

#26: The Hidden Reason You're Unfulfilled (Even If You're Successful) 03/07/2025

#26: The Hidden Reason You're Unfulfilled (Even If You're Successful) Successful high achievers think they can always rely on themselves more than on other people. This idea helped fuel their success. But it’s also why their success isn’t fulfilling, and why they feel on the verge of burnout. In fact, a deep-rooted drive to do everything yourself is a sign that something's off under the surface. Isolation isn’t a strength. It’s a slow acting poison that leads to burnout, frustration, and an early grave. And you know what? If you resonate with this, you’ve just encountered a problem that you cannot solve alone. Why? Because the answer to unfulfilling success is connection. Connection is the key to everything you want (even if you don’t realize it or have tricked yourself into enjoying your own isolation). In today’s show, you’ll discover why so many achievers screw up this fundamental truth about building a good and fulfilling and successful life—and how to start getting it right. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The little-known reason why grinding your life away can be as lethal to your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day (1:51) How high achievers rewire their nervous system to be more susceptible and affected by stress (and how to reverse this before it’s too late) (4:52) Why aren’t the wealthiest and most successful people the happiest? Here’s the cold, hard truth (6:12) The bizarre way your friend’s friend’s friend can make you gain weight (even if you never meet him)—and how this broadly applies to your entire social network (7:25) Maslow admitted his hierarchy of needs was wrong… are you still basing your success around it? (12:07) 4 fundamental human anxieties that drive all of your behavior (15:59) For more about David Tian, go here: Want more success in leadership, deeper connections, or a greater sense of fulfillment? Take this free assessment—it’s fast, easy, and tailored to your unique situation. Answer a few simple questions, and you’ll get instant access to a suite of masterclasses designed specifically for where you are right now. Whether you’re struggling or simply want more out of life, this is your next step. No guesswork. Just clarity. Click here and see what’s waiting for you: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35565145

#25: Why You're Not Happy & Fulfilled (Even Though You "Should" Be) 02/28/2025

#25: Why You're Not Happy & Fulfilled (Even Though You "Should" Be) If you’re a high achiever, you probably have a tendency to prioritize work above all else. Results are the most important thing to you. And all the other stuff—like deep relationships that offer true connection—are treated as “nice to haves.” But this is perhaps the biggest tragedy a high achiever could face. Because when something hits the fan one day (whether a gut-wrenching divorce, a paralyzing business problem, or even achieving a massive milestone), there’s nobody you care about whom you can really turn to. Nobody who actually cares about your triumphs or tribulations. Worst part? You never feel truly fulfilled because you can’t be fulfilled without connection. Instead, you just feel empty. Like something deep is missing. And you know what? It’s also an example of hustling backwards. If you truly want to be as successful as you can and feel deeply fulfilled even in the face of challenges, connection matters more than your skill set, your IQ, or any other metric you think contributes to success. This is backed by several studies that came to this exact conclusion: Connection is the hidden key to success and longevity and happiness. In today’s show, you’ll see how lacking deep, meaningful relationships prevent success, fulfillment, happiness, and even your longevity. And more importantly, you’ll discover how to reverse these common trends achievers experience before it’s too late. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The hard way high achievers can live longer, become more successful and feel more fulfilled (0:36) How chronic loneliness kills you at the same rate as smoking 15 cigarettes per day (2:16) Have you ever felt like you should be happy, but aren’t? Here’s what’s happening behind the scenes of your emotions and how to fix it (4:10) The single most powerful “optimization hack” that most achievers completely overlook and ignore (5:16) Here’s the one thing all the best companies, highest performing teams, and most effective have in common (it’s not the most skilled employees or teams with the highest IQ) (9:11) How to boost the most important metrics of your team—like performance, creativity, resilience, and retention—by focusing on emotions, not results (12:35) The cold, hard truth about why friendships disappear (and how to stop them before they do) (13:30) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35456030

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (& How to Attract the Right Ones) 02/21/2025

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (& How to Attract the Right Ones) Most people chalk up their attraction problems to external sources: Maybe they think they need better strategies and skills. Or they believe that dating apps are against them. Or maybe it’s just that they’re unlucky. Here’s the bad news: If you've been struggling with attraction, confidence, or relationships, the problem isn't some external force working against you. The real issue is the unconscious patterns, your “Relationship Blueprint,” controlling your life. Worst part? Since your mind creates your “Relationship Blueprint” early in your formative years, most people don’t even realize it’s pulling all the strings. And until you face these unconscious patterns, the same unconscious patterns will keep popping up and sabotaging your relationships. But I also have good news: In today’s show, you’ll discover how your "Relationship Blueprint” unconsciously sabotages your relationships, how to rewire it, and why you’ll be a more calm, collected, and confident person after rewiring it. Listen now. Show Highlights Include: The brutal truth about why you keep repeating the same patterns that only lead to frustration and heartbreak (0:34) How your shadow twists your fears, insecurities, and anger into a toxic soup in your subconscious that sabotages relationships (and why you must retake control of your shadow for relationship success) (3:34) The “Relationship Blueprint” that’s been wired into your mind since childhood that explains every adult relationship you’ve been in (and how to rewire it) (8:51) Why outsourcing your confidence to external validation works as a mask, but cripples your true self-esteem (17:13) The 4-step healing and transformation process that rewires your “Relationship Blueprint” (23:52) For more about David Tian, go here: Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: /episode/index/show/masulinepsychology/id/35373660

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