Maybe Someday

Maybe Someday is a podcast about deciding whether to have a child in a culture that makes motherhood seem mandatory. Host Sarah Dobson speaks with guests about the personal and political dimensions of motherhood as she comes to terms with deciding not to have kids.

Reflection: This is it 12/19/2019

Reflection: This is it A couple of months ago I went back and listened to the very first episode of this podcast. I wanted to remind myself of what it felt like to be at that starting point 18 months ago, realizing that I’ll never be somebody’s mother. Honestly, I was surprised at how emotional it all was. So today, join me for a final reflection that brings season 2 to a close. And if you’ve been a part of Maybe Someday’s story, thank you. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/12464951

Getting unstuck (with Bianetth Valdez) 12/12/2019

Getting unstuck (with Bianetth Valdez) Bianetth Valdez was born and raised in Texas, straddling two cultures. As a Latina, she grew up believing that being a mother was what was expected of her, and she didn’t give it a second thought. But when she turned 25 she started to encounter women who were living fulfilling lives without kids, and she started questioning what she wanted for herself. I loved hearing her unique perspective and think you will, too. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/12380018

Choosing the life you already have (with Kerry Graham) 12/05/2019

Choosing the life you already have (with Kerry Graham) Earlier this year Kerry Graham published an article on HuffPost called: No, I Don’t Want To Have Kids And I’m Tired Of Having To Explain Why Not. Kerry reached out to me not long after she published the article, because she had a lot more to say about deciding not to have kids. We talked about how Kerry handled ambivalence about being childfree, and how she decided that she didn’t want to have kids. We also talked about her two big passions, teaching and writing, and how those passions led her to choose the life she already had. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/12291065

Should a childfree life be everyone's goal? (with Rosie Tran) 11/21/2019

Should a childfree life be everyone's goal? (with Rosie Tran) If you’ve been around here for a while, you’ll know that I’m a big believer in celebrating everyone’s choices, no matter what they are. As long as you’re comfortable with your decision, or comfortable living with the question for a while, I’ll cheer you on. So when Rosie Tran reached out to me to pitch a discussion about why being childfree should be everyone’s goal, I hesitated. My gut reaction was to be really skeptical and uncertain that this was the right kind of conversation for the show. But my curiosity won out, and we had a fascinating conversation. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/12129950

Looking back on your choices (with Antonia Banewicz) 11/14/2019

Looking back on your choices (with Antonia Banewicz) When I talk to people who are grappling with the decision not to have a kid, one of the worries I hear most often is about whether they’ll regret the decision when they get older. Will they feel they missed out on something? Who’ll look after them? What will their legacy be? Because most of the conversations I have on this show are with people whose ‘fertility expiration date’ hasn’t yet passed, this isn’t a topic that we’ve covered in much depth. Except ,of course, as a hypothetical. So for today’s episode I’m introducing you to Antonia Banewicz. Antonia shares the story of her unconventional upbringing, trying to make it as an actor in New York, and the choices she made about having kids. Now that Antonia’s in her sixties, she shares what it’s like to look back on those choices. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/12035513

Surviving combat wounds and infertility (with Casey Jourdan) 09/26/2019

Surviving combat wounds and infertility (with Casey Jourdan) Truly, in my eyes, every single one of my guests is extraordinary. But I have to tell you that Casey Jourdan, my guest this week, is remarkable. At just 17 years old, she enlisted in the military. After graduating high school, she was deployed to Baghdad at the beginning of the Iraq war. Years later, she and her husband went through round after round of IVF. On this episode we discuss surviving combat wounds and infertility. Casey is truly a fighter. If you’re trying to conceive or if you’re childfree, but not by choice, then I can’t recommend this episode enough. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/11406647

Quirkyalone and childfree (with Sasha Cagen) 09/19/2019

Quirkyalone and childfree (with Sasha Cagen) In 2004, Sasha Cagen wrote a book called Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics, based on a term she’d created to describe people who are comfortable being single but who want to be in a relationship and won’t settle for something (or someone) that doesn’t allow them to be who they truly are. I first found Quirkyalone probably 10 years ago, and like most people who are drawn to Sasha’s book, I felt like someone finally understood me. So having Sasha on the show meant a lot to me. 15 years after publication, Sasha opened up about her perspective on quirkyalone now, and how it relates to choosing to become a mother. We also talk about wisftulness about having children, confronting our fertility expiration date, climate change, and not settling for anything less than what you truly want. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/11308574

Enthusiastically childfree (with Laura Belgray) 09/12/2019

Enthusiastically childfree (with Laura Belgray) Laura Belgray (yes, THAT Laura Belgray) has a very happy life without kids. But she spent a long time on the fence deciding whether to have them—she wanted to want kids, but she just didn’t. Laura noticed that there weren’t a lot of examples of women who were living full, rich, happy lives without kids (except for, um, Helen Mirren), which made imagining a happy childfree life a lot harder. (Although Helen Mirren is a pretty great role model tbh) So, Laura ended up becoming her own example of how to live a fun, happy life without kids. Laura dishes about Grade 6 bullies, growing up in NYC, and agonizing about whether to have kids. Oh yeah, and she talks about what inspired her super-popular Mother's Day article on Medium. If you've followed Laura for a while, I think you'll hear a few new stories. Grab your headphones! /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/11160644

Childfree for the climate (with Rachael Levasseur) 09/05/2019

Childfree for the climate (with Rachael Levasseur) I get scared sometimes about the state of the world. No matter which way I turn there’s hate and turmoil and corruption and climate disasters. It makes me think about what it must be like to bring a child into this moment in history. I think about the children in my life who are living through it, and I wonder what their future will look like. I wonder if there will be anything left for them. So, this week on the show I chat with Rachael Levasseur about choosing not to bring a child into a bleak future. This topic doesn’t get nearly enough attention in the conversation around being childfree. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/11123585

Reflection: How I learned to trust myself 08/29/2019

Reflection: How I learned to trust myself These last few episodes have got me thinking about listening to your intuition, trusting your gut, and following your own path. I used to believe that I didn’t really have much of a sense of intuition-that all my decisions could be made with logic and deliberation and pro and con lists. But that was a long time ago. And I was dead wrong. This week on the show, I'm sharing how I learned to trust myself. I hope this helps you to trust yourself, too. So that when the decisions comes to keep on going, or to make your own path, you'll choose the latter. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/11032421

Living life to the fullest (with Briena Sash) 08/23/2019

Living life to the fullest (with Briena Sash) Usually, when people talk about living life to the fullest, they mean having adventures and maximizing every moment for excitement. But I think living life to the fullest actually means having the freedom to go where life asks you to go and letting yourself experience the full range of human emotions—not just the pleasant parts. Join Briena Sash, owner of Wellness Stock Shop, and I this week as we talk about how she lives life to the fullest and how her decision not to have children has played into this. Enjoy! /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10966997

Honoring yourself (with Satya Purna) 08/15/2019

Honoring yourself (with Satya Purna) Like many of the guests I’ve spoken with this season, Satya Purna knew she didn’t want to have kids. What she did know was that she wanted to be her own boss. So that’s what she set out to do. This was such a rich discussion about honoring yourself and honoring what makes you come alive, following your gut, and thinking critically about the stories you hear—from yourself and from the world around you. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10887671

Trusting your intuition (with Melanie Scott) 08/08/2019

Trusting your intuition (with Melanie Scott) Melanie Scott, the Intuitive Business Strategist, is my guest this week. She takes a spiritual and intuitive approach to being childfree by choice (and really, to making any life decisions). I think this is an important topic for us to cover on the show. Over the last year, I have started tuning into my intuition and paying attention to how my thoughts affect my mood and it has truly improved my life. This ended up being such a rich and wonderful conversation about dealing with difficult feelings, trusting your gut, and following your heart, I invite you to join us. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10821296

Reflection: Am I really childfree? 08/01/2019

Reflection: Am I really childfree? The focus for this season of the podcast has mostly been on stories about being childfree by choice. I’ve put myself in the childfree by choice camp because I’ve decided not to conceive a child or to raise one. But I always feel a bit uncomfortable talking about being childfree because I don’t know that I am, exactly. But I don’t feel that I have a kid, either. Tune in this week to hear more about my own journey with stepmotherhood. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10718504

Going all in with your bonus kids (with Patricia Qhobela Jenkins) 07/25/2019

Going all in with your bonus kids (with Patricia Qhobela Jenkins) Patricia Qhobela Jenkins always knew she didn’t want to have biological kids. When she met and married her husband, she got two “bonus” kids in their teens. On this episode, Patricia talks about what it was like for her to become a parent to those two kids and to be all in. I very selfishly treated this as an opportunity to get advice from someone who’s been where I am now. If you're a step-parent yourself, I think you'll love this conversation, too. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10646948

Defending your childfree life (with Jennifer Rogers) 07/18/2019

Defending your childfree life (with Jennifer Rogers) Jennifer Rogers never felt that ticking biological clock. So she and her husband (who also doesn’t want kids) decided to focus their love on their four rescue dogs, their nieces and nephews, and their friends’ kids. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10510274

Changing your mind about having kids (with Tia Johnson) 07/11/2019

Changing your mind about having kids (with Tia Johnson) Tia Johnson grew up spending a lot of time with her grandmother and step-grandfather. When they died, Tia went through a period of deep grief and transformation that helped her to redefine herself, her life, and her outlook on having children. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10477586

Reflection: Will I regret not having kids? 07/04/2019

Reflection: Will I regret not having kids? Sarah reflects on the conversations she's had recently about mixed feelings and potential regret around not having kids. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10399259

Grappling with ambivalence (with Sara Hopkins) 06/27/2019

Grappling with ambivalence (with Sara Hopkins) Sara Hopkins is ambivalent about having kids. She's decided that she won't have them, but she still struggles with the choice. In this wide-ranging conversation, Sara and I talk about ambivalence, loss, friendships, intuition, and creativity. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10306505

Facing your fertility expiration date (with Leslie Cason) 06/20/2019

Facing your fertility expiration date (with Leslie Cason) Leslie Cason is getting close to her “fertility expiration date”, as she calls it, but she hasn’t spent a lot of time thinking about it - until now. Our conversation explored ambivalence, grief, legacy, and restlessness towards the end of our fertile years. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10214870

Refusing to repeat the past (with Veronica Armstrong) 06/13/2019

Refusing to repeat the past (with Veronica Armstrong) Veronica Armstrong has a complex and painful family history. That history played an important role in her decision not to have children of her own. In this episode Veronica opens up about how her past influenced her choices to nurture and set an example as an auntie. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10137675

Reflection: Please believe me 06/06/2019

Reflection: Please believe me Sarah talks about a recent experience in the medical system, what it's like to live with a rare and progressive genetic disease, and how it feels to have your pain dismissed. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/10065050

Taking charge of your own destiny (with Meng Wang) 05/30/2019

Taking charge of your own destiny (with Meng Wang) In 2018, after ten years of suffering, Meng Wang was successfully treated for endometriosis. The procedure that would put an end to her pain meant that she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant in the future. So, she electively chose to be sterilised at the age of 29. The procedure drastically improved her quality of life , and she hasn’t looked back. But she had to fight to be able to get it done. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/9970991

Healing difficult relationships (with Karen CL Anderson) 05/23/2019

Healing difficult relationships (with Karen CL Anderson) Karen Anderson doesn’t remember a time that she ever wanted to have children. She just assumed she'd have them anyway. She thought she’d go to college, meet a guy, get married, and have kids. Because that’s what you do, right? I talked to Karen about deciding not to have biological children, about being a stepmother, and about her work on difficult mother-daughter relationships (and other difficult relationships). /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/9898673

Queering parenthood (with Bon Jon) 05/16/2019

Queering parenthood (with Bon Jon) Bon identifies as genderqueer and goes by the pronouns they/their/theirs. I asked Bon to share some of their insights about gender and parenthood, family, and being childfree by choice—but as you’ll hear - Bon is a natural interviewer and they pretty much ended up interviewing me. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/9811502

Season 2 preview 05/09/2019

Season 2 preview The second season of Maybe Someday launches on May 16, 2019. Sarah talks about what you can expect from Season 2. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/9721052

Reflection: A Part-Time Someone 11/01/2018

Reflection: A Part-Time Someone In this final episode of Season One, Sarah reflects on her relationship with her boyfriend's daughter. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/7402835

My So-Called Selfish Life (with Therese Shechter) 10/25/2018

My So-Called Selfish Life (with Therese Shechter) Therese Shechter is a documentary filmmaker based in Brooklyn. Her latest project is My So-Called Selfish Life, a feature-length documentary about choosing not to have children in a society where motherhood feels mandatory. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/7318616

Many paths to motherhood (with Sonja Overhiser) 10/18/2018

Many paths to motherhood (with Sonja Overhiser) When Sonja Overhiser was diagnosed with a rare hereditary form of leukemia in her mid-twenties, she and her husband Alex had to rethink their plans for starting a family. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/7234532

Reflection: Am I Enough? 09/27/2018

Reflection: Am I Enough? Sarah reflects on her follow-up conversation with Myriam and what it brought up for her around making life-changing decisions. /episode/index/show/maybesomeday/id/7100586

Maybe Someday

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