No Doorway Wide Enough

It was just about three weeks after his 45th birthday in 2000 when Bill Schmalfeldt was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. In 2007 while working at a federal agency as a writer and podcaster, telling other people about the importance of clinical trials, Bill heard about and volunteered for an experimental brain surgery to determine whether or not "deep brain stimulation" could be done on patients in the earlier stages of the disease. This is the story of Bill's "Parkinson's Decade" from being diagnosed in 2000, to having the surgery in 2007, through today. The story is told in a humorous, satirical, almost jovial style considering the fact that Bill's motor skills and cognition continue to degenerate. This is an audiobook that should be heard by anyone who HAS Parkinson's, anyone who knows and loves someone with Parkinson's, and anyone who is considering deep brain stimulation surgery. Bill has promised to donate 100 percent of the author's proceeds from the sale of this book to the National Parkinson Foundation and the Charles DBS Research Fund at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. You can read Bill's blog at http://parkinsondiary.com.

NoDoorway 17 08/02/2010

NoDoorway 17 In this FINAL EPISODE of "No Doorway Wide Enough, I'll explain how this book came by its name. I'll serve up, perhaps, the WEIRDEST dream I've had so far, I'll share a poem I call, "Ode to an Adult Diaper," we'll wrap up the first round of physical therapy, I'll run down a list of things I wanted to discuss with my neurologist at the next visit, and we'll wrap up this book, on the three year anniversary of the day I had my deep brain stimulation surgery. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/1014639

NoDoorway 16 08/02/2010

NoDoorway 16 In this, the pentultimate episode, I start with the speech therapy. I share my toughts on whether or not drowning in iced tea is a good way for a man to die. Then I share some of the untold benefits of working at home, and I wondered aloud about the lack of Parkinson's Disease Awareness during Parkinson's Disease Awareness month and the reasons for it. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/1014634

NoDoorway 15 08/01/2010

NoDoorway 15 In Episode 15, I talk with blessed assurance about what is going to happen to me after I die... and it has NOTHING to do with religion. I cause a little kid to be terrified of old men and their walkers. I have my first really vivid and well-formed hallucination. I discuss the curse of nightly throat crud. And I answer a Facebook posting from a very nice lady who said I sounded angry and suffering from hopelessness. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/1012572

NoDoorway 14 07/29/2010

NoDoorway 14 In THIS episode, more bizarre dreams in which Evil Nurses call me a FAKER! In addition to all my other difficulties, I start having trouble... talking! It's time for another visit with the neurologist, and I wonder, who should I listen to... the doctor, or the ice cream. Why is it that young people are in such a hurry when it's the OLD folks who are running out of time? And everything you ever wanted to know about Parkinson's masking. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/1010757

NoDoorway 13 07/27/2010

NoDoorway 13 In this episode, we'll discuss life immediately after my sister's untimely passing, more falling, more vivid dreaming, some of the more disgusting and gross aspects of Parkinson's disease, and why it sucks to be slow when it's cold outside. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/1004774

NoDoorway 12 07/26/2010

NoDoorway 12 This is No Doorway Wide Enough, the story of my Parkinson's Decade from getting the diagnosis in 2000 to volunteering for experimental brain surgery in 2007, to the mixed results I'm experiencing today. In Episode #11, we wrapped up with a little poem called, "Ode to a Frozen Foot." In this episode, I'll talk about some of the practical applications of freezing, what happens when you step on a dog, a note from Vanderbilt that made me reconsider the wisdom of taking part in the clinical trial, and leg cramps, leg cramps, leg cramps! /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/1004239

NoDoorway 11 07/24/2010

NoDoorway 11 Welcome to Episode #11 of No Doorway Wide Enough on Podiobooks. In Episode #10, we saw how Parkinson's disease has begun to affect my driving skills and my ability to get to and from my job in mid-2009. And we started delving into the world of REM Sleep Behavior Disorder and the wacky dreams it causes. In Episode #11, the dreams get MORE bizarre, I break them down by category, and we'll wrap up the episode with a poem I wrote called, "Ode to a Frozen Foot." Thanks to all who have taken time to review, still looking for some "ratings" here, so don't be stingy! /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/1003589

NoDoorway 10 07/21/2010

NoDoorway 10 In this episode of No Doorway Wide Enough, we see how Parkinson's disease begins to affect my driving skills and my ability to get to and from my job in mid-2009. And we start delving into the world of REM Sleep Behavior Disorder and the wacky dreams it causes. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/998803

NoDoorway 09 07/19/2010

NoDoorway 09 Episode 9 begins with me falling in the shower. I get to yell at God a little bit when I learn that my sister has terminal cancer. I'm slowing down, dragging out, falling down and bleeding all over a hotel bathroom. And one of my dogs won't stop peeing on the floor! Such is the drama in my Parkinsonian life. Welcome to another episode of "No Doorway Wide Enough" on Podiobooks! /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/995642

NoDoorway 08 07/17/2010

NoDoorway 08 In Episode 8 of "No Doorway Wide Enough", pull up a chair and join me for a delicious "Lump o' Egg" as we sweat our way through Droolfest II -- that 8-day period at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center's General Clinical Research Center when they turn off the Deep Brain Stimulation devices, take away the Parkinson's disease medications... and watch the deterioration! /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/993612

NoDoorway 07 07/15/2010

NoDoorway 07 All the deep brain stimulation hardware is in place. Now it's time for the programming. Unfortunately, I live near Baltimore and the guy doing the programming is in Nashville. This makes for some interesting day trips. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/986391

NoDoorway 06 07/13/2010

NoDoorway 06 The first two surgeries are done and over with. There's one left, the one they said was "piece of cake, in and out, two hours, no problem." So why did my neck hurt so bad when it was all over with? /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/984499

NoDoorway 05 07/05/2010

NoDoorway 05 In this episode, I take you with me into the operating room for a seven-hour surgery to place electrodes deep into my brain. But first, I have to deal with some jagoff at a bar, try to get a good night's sleep while staring at the grim spectre of death and have a catheter put in. Then, after the surgery, I have to wait many more hours for a hospital room and try to sleep as my brain absorbs the air that got into my skull during the surgery -- snap, crackle, pop! /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/968116

NoDoorway 04 07/05/2010

NoDoorway 04 At Vanderbilt, they do DBS surgery in three stages. In this episode, I have the first stage done... the placement of four bone markers that are screwed into my skull. I walk around with these things in my head for about a week before the main surgery. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/968115

NoDoorway 03 07/05/2010

NoDoorway 03 Once I was accepted into Vanderbilt's clinical trial, I had to undergo an 8-day stay at their General Clinical Research Center during which my Parkinson's medications would be withdrawn and I would be monitored and studied. At the end of the 8th day, my symptoms would be compared with the symptoms I had on the first day. And then they would reach into the hat and tell me whether or not I would be "randomized" to the surgery group, or the "control" group -- one of the 15 who would continue on the same treatment they had been on before. That way, those who had the surgery could be compared to those who did not. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/968051

NoDoorway 02 07/04/2010

NoDoorway 02 A big part of my job as Production Manager at the National Institutes of Health Radio News Service was to write and produce podcasts informing the public about the importance of clinical trials in the search for new and better treatments for diseases. So here I was, with a perfectly good case of Parkinson's disease. What was I going to do with it? /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/967879

NoDoorway 01 07/04/2010

NoDoorway 01 Was it karma that caused my Parkinson's disease? Well, I was less than kind to an old farmer I worked for in high school (behind his back, of course) who suffered from the disease. So who knows. This first section of "No Doorway Wide Enough" tells the story of my challenge to get a diagnosis in 1999 and 2000 (I kept hearing, "You're Too Young!"), through 2007 when a neurologist told me I not only seemed to HAVE Parkinson's, but a fairly classic case of it. The segment ends on a question. /episode/index/show/nodoorway/id/967878

No Doorway Wide Enough

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