On Being Animals

A podcast about the natural history of an animal and what it means to be human. Our brains are wet meat computers coupled with some crude sensor systems. This allows us to experience the space around us, but tweak any of the components and your reality is shifted. Learning how an animal exists can lead to a deeper understanding of our own existence.

OBA Episode 51 - Bloody Aqua Dumper 10/02/2018

OBA Episode 51 - Bloody Aqua Dumper An On Being Animals first! We got rustic and recorded this in the deep woods. My sister Geneva and I recorded this near an abandoned silver mine deep in the interior of BC. We were hours from a Tim Horton’s, but luckily we had a couple of cold Kootenay Ales to quench our thirst and fuel our quest to learn about the Bloody Aqua Dumper. We also talk about hatch n grow dinos, taking family for granted, and eggs that can feed themselves. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/7116856

OBA Episode 50 - Speedy Lobster Claw Diva 09/16/2018

OBA Episode 50 - Speedy Lobster Claw Diva We heard from Sara last episode, so now it’s time to hear from her hubby, my brother in arms, he who flees from the sun, Andrew. We set up the On Being Animals studio at his place, cracked open some groomsmen whisky, and learned about the Speedy Lobster Claw Diva. In addition to whiskey, we get into the Bat Man, dick pics, and growing trees on Mars. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/7051217

OBA Episode 49 - Cooing Bob Wink 09/01/2018

OBA Episode 49 - Cooing Bob Wink For this episode, I climbed a mountain to get to my brother’s wife’s brother’s wife. How about we just call her Sara. She’s an Island girl that grew up on an aviary, so of course, we had to talk about the Cooing Bob Wink. You know that animal that we see all the time, right? The Cooing Bob Wink. We also talk about weaponizing animals, rats, allergies, and Dirty Rick. Yeah Rick, we’re talking about you again. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6995613

OBA Episode 48 - Shimmer Two Four Staying-a-Dive 08/16/2018

OBA Episode 48 - Shimmer Two Four Staying-a-Dive A couple of Russell Book islanders came to the On Being Animals studio for an extra special tri-pod episode! A three person podcast that is as stable as a physical tri-pod. Sara laughed, Ross cried, and we all learned about the Shimmer Two Four Staying-a-Dive.. Ross and Sara are great guests and we talked about everything from Darude Sandstorm, to leaving home, and the ever so terrible, unwanted acoustic guitars. You know when they show up to a good party and ruin it? /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6932548

OBA Episode 47 - Slutty Lewd Mineral Craver 08/02/2018

OBA Episode 47 - Slutty Lewd Mineral Craver Kate came to the studio fresh out of Russell Books where she was shelving books in the animal section! Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Kate has fantastic, specific question and she even name dropped ungulates! So yes, this podcast episode is about a certain ungulate that we lovingly refer to as the Slutty Lewd Mineral Craver. We nerd out on books, talk Bitoin, give out hot chocolate tips, and sensationalize disappointing sex. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6881515

OBA Episode 46 - Diurnal Dichotomies 07/17/2018

OBA Episode 46 - Diurnal Dichotomies Angus Watt was at death’s door and yet he braved the elements to come to the On Being Animals studio in James Bay to record this episode on the Diurnal Dichotomies. The animal featured in this episode is definitely diurnal and definitely a dichotomy. In this episode, we don’t discuss dry spells or the importance of foreplay, but we do discuss Kangaroo nipples, DJ Khaled, and we figure out who really caused the Exxon Valdez oil spill. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6821524

OBA Episode 45 - Looky Bubbly Pouchy Brownie 07/02/2018

OBA Episode 45 - Looky Bubbly Pouchy Brownie This podcast episode had been on the books for a while and finally made it happen! Mel Jupp and I were finally in the same city at the same time and we were able to discuss the Looky Bubbly Pouchy Brownie. Yes, that is the new name of this animal. We also cover active starfishing, how to get ants into your pants, and floppy milkshake corrections. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6768155

OBA Episode 44 - Bazooka Dabbler 06/15/2018

OBA Episode 44 - Bazooka Dabbler This is a great episode, it hits all the notes that On Being Animals should: philosophy, genitals. Every single note. The guest for this episode is an open minded sweetheart named Andrew. He’s not much to look at, but he’s a great guest. Together, we learned about the good, the bad, and the ugly of an animal we like to call the Bazooka Dabbler. Along the way we get into the taste of poop, the righteous sword of compassion, and the sexiness of back hair. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6708971

OBA Episode 43 - Gazing Handsy Bandit Washer 06/01/2018

OBA Episode 43 - Gazing Handsy Bandit Washer You asked for it so you’re going to get it. The lovely Jenny Pye came back for another episode and this time we discovered the Gazing Handsy Bandit Washer. Along the way we figure out a great paté prank, we explore bureaucracy, we give a shout out to Buster the pug, and we weigh in on eating poop. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6658424

OBA Episode 42 - Onion Fast Love Horn 05/15/2018

OBA Episode 42 - Onion Fast Love Horn You used to call her on her cellphone, but you don’t anymore because she doesn’t have one. That’s right, the Russell Books series continues with Savannah and she chose to learn about the Onion Fast Love Horn. If your favourite part of this podcast is when we go on tangents and don’t talk about the animal, then this is the episode for you! We figure out why you need to put a banana in your first aid kit, what we should spend our tax return money on, and how to almost make it to the NHL. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6589610

OBA Episode 41 - Curious Clever Handed Recluse 05/01/2018

OBA Episode 41 - Curious Clever Handed Recluse It’s time to start the Russell Books phase of the On Being Animals podcast. It's an amazing used bookstore where I work and I have met some wonderful humans there that will be guests on the podcast. To start us off, Gabriel came by to help me discover the Curious Clever Handed Recluse. As we waded through the waters of the Curious Clever Handed Recluse, we discovered more about girlfriend potato chips, electric balls, gut feelings, and we got caught up on Haley Joel Osmond’s career. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6541376

OBA Episode 40 - Sneaky Growthy Blue-Red Baldies 04/15/2018

OBA Episode 40 - Sneaky Growthy Blue-Red Baldies You tuned into this episode to learn about the Sneaky Growthy Blue-Red Baldies, but you’ll stick with it to hear more of Brett’s silky smooth radio voice. Brett’s my brother’s good buddy and I and see why, he’s funny, charming AND handsome. He came to Vic shop at AW&Co, estimate the price of hazel nuts, find truth in the moment, and to catch up on Survivor. Brett is a loyal Survivor TV Show fan. Even after 36 seasons, he not gon give up. He not gon stop. He gon work harder. And keep watching survi /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6481257

OBA Episode 39 - Upcycled Squishy Kitten Yogi 04/01/2018

OBA Episode 39 - Upcycled Squishy Kitten Yogi What a special guest. Tiaré has both the experience of fishing for a living and a grasp of the scientific method that can only be found in the ivory towers of academia. On this episode we learned about the Upcycled Squishy Kitten Yogi and we dream of the day when we will judge animals, not by the phallic shape of their body, but by the content of their character. While dreaming, we learn about the armadillo of the sea, sustainable fishing practices, and someone confesses to knuckling the peanut butter jar. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6422018

OBA Episode 38 - Motivated Sloppy Taste Sharp Eyed Killer 03/16/2018

OBA Episode 38 - Motivated Sloppy Taste Sharp Eyed Killer When life gives you oats, record a podcast with your brother. This time my brother Clayton, aka the Clayzer Beam, helped me learn about the Motivated Sloppy Taste Sharp Eyed Killer. During the episode, we try to figure out if anything matters, we talk about being above the line, about being trashy fast-food eaters, and we learn about man-eaters, but not the man-eaters that make you work hard make you spend hard make you want all of their love. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6374690

OBA Episode 37 - Sociable Fluttering Skin-Winged Rooster 03/01/2018

OBA Episode 37 - Sociable Fluttering Skin-Winged Rooster Matt is back! He braved the winter cold to come to the On Being Animals studio in Gatineau, Quebec to learn more about the Sociable Fluttering Skin-Winged Rooster. While recording, we go an adventure that damages my ears, then we talk about great movies such as multiplicity, we try to figure out if friends can have sex with each other, and we take Tom Hanks down a peg. By we, I mean me. Me take Tom Hanks down a peg. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6312360

OBA Episode 36 - Thick Marrowed Mature Legs 02/15/2018

OBA Episode 36 - Thick Marrowed Mature Legs This episode was recorded in Ottawa, but in this moment, I am talking to you from Victoria. I made it and it is beautiful. So many hummingbirds, but enough about me and my hummies, lets talk about this episode on the Thick Marrowed Mature Legs. Krystal was a joy to have – such a warm heart and sharp mind. We discovered more about Bob’s big tongue, Baja Rosa, yoga with Adriene, and merino wool. That last discovery resulted in the biggest On Being Animals laugh ever. It was fantastic. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6262759

OBA Episode 35 - Snotty Spineless Egg Gardener 02/08/2018

OBA Episode 35 - Snotty Spineless Egg Gardener I’d like to formally apologize to you the listeners for this episode being over a week late. To make it up to you, I’m giving you the first ever On Being Animals two-fer double-shot: two guest in one episode that covers two animals! Lovely Lindsay and passionate Pam came in to learn more about the Snotty Spineless Egg Gardener and while they were in the studio, I surprised them with the Dick Fish. Along the way we learned more about taking number threes, danger bay, and the detachable penis. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6240233

OBA Episode 34 - Lonely Bellowing Backwards Double-U 01/15/2018

OBA Episode 34 - Lonely Bellowing Backwards Double-U Double your pleasure and double your fun! That's the slogan for our 2020 presidential campaign. Melissa and I will run as equals and our mandate will be to double anything that's good in life. To launch our campaign, we are releasing this podcast on the Lonely Bellowing Backwards Double-U. In it, we explore early puberty, KIDS, and poop chutes. These are all separate things. And KIDS is much sadder than you think, but it is life and life is a struggle. Not always fair. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6152265

OBA Episode 33 - Muscled Morphin Toxic Glutton 01/01/2018

OBA Episode 33 - Muscled Morphin Toxic Glutton What was my New Year's resolution? More Dash! That’s right, back by my popular demand, handsome Dash came for a second podcast. We come out of the gate hot with a 15-minute debate on undergrad engineering courses and then we seamlessly segue into a discovery of the Muscled Morphin Toxic Glutton. Along the way we explore binging on sun chips, the amazing things our parents did for us, and poop dreams. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6101687

OBA Episode 32 - Familial Semi-Aquatic Hindgut 12/15/2017

OBA Episode 32 - Familial Semi-Aquatic Hindgut And the balance has been restored. Last week, Ryan and I got pretty focused on some male genitalia, so luckily, the fantastic Christina came by and brought us back on track. She is a part of the improv troupe A Little Awkward and she is 50% of the Scene Partners podcast. She came and helped us learn more about the Familial Semi-Aquatic Hindgut. Along the way, we discovered more about family, nudie mags in the woods, church camps, Noah's ark, Diva cups, safe search, furies, and rotting peaches. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/6048332

OBA Episode 31 - Disease-Prone Diggysaurus Penis Boy 12/01/2017

OBA Episode 31 - Disease-Prone Diggysaurus Penis Boy An On Being Animals crossover episode! Well, more of a semi-crossover. He's is half of the podcast "Scene Partners". Ryan, the talented kind soul who is also in the improv troupe "A Little Awkward". He helped us discover more about the Disease-Prone Diggysaurus Penis Boy. Along the way, we planned a BBQ rib treasure hunt, we explored the power of reconciliation, and there was dick talk. A lot of dick talk. In the next episode, I'll try to restore genital balance with generous vagina talk. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5943740

OBA Episode 30 - Drumming Hard Axehead 11/15/2017

OBA Episode 30 - Drumming Hard Axehead Back to the real stuff! You've had enough of me pantlessly yammering on about how Orcas make me cry, so I put on my finest denims to host Layoma and her pug-baby Bella. We three went on a quest to discover more about the Drumming Hard Axehead. Along the way, we learned more about vegan corndogs, how scary it is to decide what to do with your life, and how to select teammates for an orgy. If you hear little snorts in the background, that's Bella the second cutest pug in the world. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5941515

OBA Episode 29 - Year In Review Part 2 10/31/2017

OBA Episode 29 - Year In Review Part 2 There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she eagerly awaited year in review, part 2. She asked for it, you begged for it, now its's here. We've got 15 animals for you and some juicy rants. There were 13 vertebrates, 10 mammals, 2 birds, 4 ocean dwellers, only 1 ungulate, and about 9ish carnivores (ie: animals that eat other animals). Sociality is on a spectrum, so it can be tricky to categorize, but if we applied a high pass filter, we would find 6 very social animals. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5896663

OBA Episode 28 - Year In Review Part 1 10/15/2017

OBA Episode 28 - Year In Review Part 1 It's been over a year, so let's celebrate by looking back! In this episode of On Being Animals, I take a look back at each of the first 17 animals we discovered together and see what stuck in my mind and in my heart. Of those 17, 15 are vertebrates, 12 are mammals, 2 are birds, 5 are ocean dwellers, there are 3 ungulates, and about 11 eat other animals....though that's more of an 11ish. Tardigrades and Slow Lorises are a bit on the fence. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5841618

OBA Episode 27 - Stinging Ballers 09/30/2017

OBA Episode 27 - Stinging Ballers This episode of On Being Animals got a last second upgrade when Isabelle joined Audrey and me to help us learn more about the Stinging Ballers. They welcomed me into their pinterest adjacent home where we reviewed the Sahara desert, struggled to find the word "sensationalize", and figured out what we didn't make Taylor Swift do. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5792494

OBA Episode 26 - Silent Flight Eye Tubes 09/15/2017

OBA Episode 26 - Silent Flight Eye Tubes Dear humans, do you like water? Are you ever near small rocks? Are you unsure of your place in the world? Then this episode is definitely for you! Ashley invited me back to her Pinterest home and brought her inquisitive mind along on our quest to discover the Silent Flight Eye Tubes. On the way we learned more about the supernatural, how to survive after crashing a plane in the wilderness, and affairs. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5741435

OBA Episode 25 - Social Underwater Alpha 09/01/2017

OBA Episode 25 - Social Underwater Alpha Rick Deez came by the On Being Animals studio to give us a weekly top 40 about the Social Underwater Alpha. Ricky had great questions and shared some great personal stories that brought us to feeding dogs peanut butter, supporting moms, cold penis, and crushing pennies. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5688246

OBA Episode 24 - Chubby Beat-Boxing Netflix Companion 08/15/2017

OBA Episode 24 - Chubby Beat-Boxing Netflix Companion I ain't Chris Martin, but I'ma take you back to the start. Nearly a year ago the On Being Animals podcast was kicked off with Jovian. He's still just as smart and may be even more whipy than ever. He came to the studio to help me explore the life of the Chubby Beat-Boxing Netflix Companion. Along the way, we learned about status updates, poop phone, and intercourse timing. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5636507

OBA Episode 23 - Stanky Ravenous Binge Slut 08/01/2017

OBA Episode 23 - Stanky Ravenous Binge Slut Clark Sollows came to the studio for a steamy NC17 rated episode on the Stanky Ravenous Binge Slut. We also dove into homelessness, bird watching, and thick brows. /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5581925

OBA Episode 22 - Ooo'Daddy Pee-Pal 07/15/2017

OBA Episode 22 - Ooo'Daddy Pee-Pal This episode's animal is the Ooo'Daddy Pee-Pal and it is missing something, but Greg Jones ain't missing nothing! He can rise above the fray information to ask profound questions - the good juicy questions that you crave. We stumbled along and talked about about cage sex, our privilege, and imaginary animal court, where the other animals judge us human animals. Most egregious errors: I tried to make cheap jokes by dropping a hard "C" and later taking a shot at Kentucky. They might have been in poor taste. You know the sayings "buckle up" and "strap in". Well I split the difference and said "buckle in"....which is not a real thing. Oh, Greg and I talked about privilege and we tried very hard to be mindful of what we said, but we may have misspoke out of ignorance. Let me know so we can be better! Science level: Greg dusted off his intro to Biology brain and talked about genotype versus phenotype. Good stuff! /episode/index/show/onbeinganimals/id/5540016

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