Our POoRCHoices the Podcast
Our POoRCHoices the Podcast is a weekly comedy show where long time friends get together to discuss absurd situation, movies, and random topics that will likely prove to be poor choices. Listen in each week as Corporal, Commando, Sarcastro, Fatty, and Banky pick apart life's best and worst decisions and look for the humor in the world.
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Episode 170 - Microplastics Taste Fantastic
06/24/2024
Episode 170 - Microplastics Taste Fantastic
This week the fellas talk about an article that Commando found recenlty about the amount of mircroplastics that humans ingest each week and that there have been studies that found them in heart and testicles of people. Fatty expresses his sunny disposition on the matter while Corporal and Commando make suggestions on what to do to get away from using plastics while Banky makes sure to have extra water bottles made of plastic delivered to his house. In the realm of POoRCHoices made for the week, Corporal contemplates building furniture to sell from the quartz countertops he just replaced. Fatty gets drunk and narrowly evades getting into a fight with a dude with many face tattoos. Commando gets loud about noise levels during a township meeting regarding the potential construction of a new warehouse in his neighborhood. Banky explains the first part of a two part story where he can't get a good meal in Milwaukee. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 169 - Rise of the Beasts
06/17/2024
Episode 169 - Rise of the Beasts
This week the gang gathers around to talk about weaponized drone dogs and the news that Chuck E. Cheese is decomissioning all but two of their animitronic bands which leads the fellas to considering how to repurpose the retired units to use in conjunction with the drone dogs or that they can become our rodent overlords. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 168 - The BORG
06/10/2024
Episode 168 - The BORG
This week Commando, Sarcastro, Fatty and Banky sit down to discuss the BORG, no not the characters from Star Trek; The Next Generation but rather the blackout rage gallon. A somewhat popular trend for college aged folks that is truly a poor choice even by POoRCHoices standards. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 167 - POoRCHville and Dad Gifts
06/03/2024
Episode 167 - POoRCHville and Dad Gifts
This week the whole gang sits down to talk about a town in California for sale that Commando found an article about and they immediate decide to turn it into a tourist destination for deviants through the use of robots. Sarcastro shares another list of gifts for Father's Day that are "better than whiskey stones" from their favorite CNN Underscored contibuting editor and it turns out Fatty has more than a few of these gifts. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 166 - An Orca-strated Attack
05/27/2024
Episode 166 - An Orca-strated Attack
This week the gang gets together to talk about a couple articles that Sarcastro and Corporal found about killer whales attacking yachts and eating great white sharks and how they are getting more intelligent and wondering how long before they start eating people. This spins into talk of making a new version of Voyage of the Mimi and how the person who named the anatomy of whales had just given up by the time they needed to name the blow hole. Fatty talks about his cleanse which may come with some challenges at work. Corporal takes on a new project stripping and staining a table which may be more or a challenge than expected due to an odd stain on the top of the table. Banky had some visitors that nested on the wreath on his door only to crap all over the place on his door and porch. Sarcastro talks about a poor choice Queen Sarcastro made leaving a rotisserie chicken unsupervised on the counter with their dogs. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 165 - See Ya Later Alligator
05/20/2024
Episode 165 - See Ya Later Alligator
This week the fellas discuss the "kidnapping" of Wally the Emotional Support Alligator which leads them to ask several questions about why and how you get an alligator cleared as an emotional support animal and most importantly, what happened when Wally was released into the wild? (as assumed that this is what happened) Fatty makes a poor choice bydeviating from the standard protein for his sloppy joes, Commando needs to get grounded, while Sarcastro and Banky go to a tourist trap orange stand while they were hanging out in Sarcastro's town leaving Banky still longing for proper fresh squeezed Florida orange juice. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 164 - A.I. Wish this Never Happened
05/13/2024
Episode 164 - A.I. Wish this Never Happened
This week on the show the gang talks about television manufacturer TCL's upcoming AI romance movie and the poor choice it appears to be and how AI might shape the entertainment business before both Fatty and Banky run into issues with recording their audio this week and blame it on AI trying to take them down. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 163 - You Can Have Your Snake and Eat It Too
05/06/2024
Episode 163 - You Can Have Your Snake and Eat It Too
In the season four opener Sarcastro brings an article to the table to discuss with the group about replacing conventional livestock like beef or pork in favor of eating pythons (at least according to a theory spurred from a guy in Australia). Commando gets a dissapointing dessert at a diner. Banky provides an update on the Pup Jarvis and the fact that he didn't get Neuticles for the Pup. Sarcastro shares his poor choices of taking Prince Sarcastro and his soccer team to see Kong x Godzilla and it was about as glorious as he had hoped it would be. The group helps Corporal decide between two movies to see over the weekend by not making a decision for him at all. Fatty starts fitting his own knife blanks with custom made handles and Sarcastro wants him to start forging the knives from scratch. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 162 - Rants #97 - Just Don't Expect to Get Your Money Black Backpack Back
04/29/2024
Episode 162 - Rants #97 - Just Don't Expect to Get Your Money Black Backpack Back
This week Fatty brings and an article to the table to discuss with Commando and Banky about a crime that happened at their local expo center during a billiards tournament where a backpack with $20,000 was stolen from a truck just outside of the expo center. They also explore the option of hiring various celebrities through Cameo to do segment intros for the show which leads to some interesting discoveries about what some people are charging and discussions if they are worth it. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 161 - Rants #96 - Havana Syndrome, a Promiscuous Pup, and Cruising
04/22/2024
Episode 161 - Rants #96 - Havana Syndrome, a Promiscuous Pup, and Cruising
This week the whole crew gets together to discuss the recent Havana Syndrome segment from 60 Minutes and Fatty's not buying, it meanwhile Banky's wrapping his head in tinfoil. They also discuss the Pup Jarvis' sexual revolution against its comfort toy and a stuffed carrot and Fatty gets a "free" cruise through a friend's time share that's only going to cost him nearly the exact amount it would to actually book it through the cruise line. Commando learns a valuable lesson on sticking to his order of operations when working gigs for bands. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 160 - Rants #95 - Pepper Professors and Bathroom Stall Faux Pas
04/15/2024
Episode 160 - Rants #95 - Pepper Professors and Bathroom Stall Faux Pas
This week the group goes around the horn to talk about Fatty's idea to buy a bar in New Jersey which Sarcastro suggests rebranding as The Bearded Lady which leads into an update on Fatty's septic system at his cabin and then into his poor choice of making a public restroom faux pas. Corporal shares his poor choice of the week of overdoing it in setting up his garden that led to some rough hands and old man soreness. This leads into an unexpected home gardening discussion in which Sarcastro and Banky learn that Fatty and Corporal are basically pepper professors. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 159 - Rants #94 - Sealed with a Kiss
04/08/2024
Episode 159 - Rants #94 - Sealed with a Kiss
This week the whole gang is back to talk about their plans to release a game called The Oregon Rail before shifting gears to the Road House reimagining that no one asked for. Later in the show Fatty's social media algorithm takes a sharp turn into interspecies relations that makes everyone else question what's going on in his browser search history. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 158 - Rants #93 - Going to the Movies
04/01/2024
Episode 158 - Rants #93 - Going to the Movies
This week the gang gathers together to talk about going back to movie theaters, themed popcorn buckets and Banky's future OnlyFans gimmick. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 157 - Rants #92 - Splitting Heirs Over Splitting Logs
03/25/2024
Episode 157 - Rants #92 - Splitting Heirs Over Splitting Logs
This week Commando, Fatty and Banky sit down to talk about Fatty's poor choice in receiving a burbon which could cause you to go cross-eyed and the new friend he made at the liquor store before going into details about his experience at the newly opened Log Tavern Tap Room near his cabin. They also discuss finally getting to use Fatty's chainsaw on the trees that have fallen down at the Jarvis house which leads to Commando's question on purchasing a log splitter. Commando also shares how his poor choice was actually pretty great as he was able to spend an entire day playing games with his kids. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 156 - Rants #91 - Mike Tyson's Fallout
03/18/2024
Episode 156 - Rants #91 - Mike Tyson's Fallout
This week Sarcastro, Fatty, and Banky talk about how Sarcastro recently introduced hos kids to the Swedish Chef and then cover the news that Jake Paul is going to fight (and hopefully lose to) Mike Tyson. Fatty suggests a couple movies for the group to watch, Ricky Stanicky and Windy City Heat both which sound like perfect examples of poor choices. They also discuss the new Fallout series coming to Amazon Prime Video, zombie horde mobile games and microtransactrions, and that Fatty's son has moved on from being a Cub Scout to a full fledged Scout. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 155 - Rants #90 - The Fast Food and the Furious
03/11/2024
Episode 155 - Rants #90 - The Fast Food and the Furious
This week Sarcastro briefly tries to explain to Corporal and Banky what Skibidi Toilet is after hearing about it from Commando which leads to a discussion on super hero movie fatigue and what went wrong with Aquaman 2. They also discuss an obvious poor choice, fast food chain breakfast and burgers. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 154 - Rants #89 - Cabin in the Woods Recap
03/04/2024
Episode 154 - Rants #89 - Cabin in the Woods Recap
This week Commando, Fatty and Banky recap some of the moments from the annual Porch Guys Weekend trip to Fatty's cabin in the woods where they had some tasty burgers, big laughs at Corporal's inability to lead table games, and Fatty learning that wi-fi at the cabin was a bad idea. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 153 - Rants #88 - Make War Not Love (Movies)
02/26/2024
Episode 153 - Rants #88 - Make War Not Love (Movies)
This week after talking about Fatty's poor choice to work on his ugly truckling golf cart and then Commando talks about his poor choice in not getting as much done around the house during his staycation. That somehow shifted the conversation to war movies and the entire gang tries to figure out what makes a movie a war movie or just a war adjacent movie. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 152 - Rants #87 - Gearing Up for Guys Weekend
02/19/2024
Episode 152 - Rants #87 - Gearing Up for Guys Weekend
This week the gang sits down to talk about getting ready for their annual Guys Weekend trip from testing food ideas, figuring out what to drink, and the most important addition to the weekend, the much needed port-a-potty. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 151 - Rants #86 - Missing in Auction
02/12/2024
Episode 151 - Rants #86 - Missing in Auction
This week the gang briefly discuss some of the dreams that Commando and Banky seem to continuosly have and Sarcastro quickly shifts the focus into looking up vehicles for travel by land, sea and air (even though Fatty refuses Banky's suggestion of an airplane) on auctions sites and they all decide that Fatty definitely needs to get a hovercraft then they bring it on home with a few poor choices that were made recently. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 150 - Rants #85 - The Iron Liver Challenge
02/05/2024
Episode 150 - Rants #85 - The Iron Liver Challenge
This week Sarcastro and Banky weigh in on which of the two decisions Fatty made for the week should be considered the true poor choice and one of those choices inspires them to come up with a new drinking competition to host at the lake. Also a thrift store employee refuses to sell Fatty a treasure he's been seeking for weeks and Sarcastro and Banky recall the cast of chrarcters that used to come into the gas station they worked at together. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 149 - Rants #84 - Trading In and Auctions
01/29/2024
Episode 149 - Rants #84 - Trading In and Auctions
This week the gang gets together and talk how Fatty ended up buying the car he was haggling over the week before which leads to talking about the trade-in cars they had the best return on investment with and Corporal seemingly hitting the jackpot by being able to pull off getting exactly what he paid for on a car when he finally had to scrap it. To end the evening they start looking over vehicle aution sites with a number of poor choices that they could (and Fatty may very well) make. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 148 - Rants #83 - Hagglin' Fatty, AI Stories and POoRCHoices in Tents
01/22/2024
Episode 148 - Rants #83 - Hagglin' Fatty, AI Stories and POoRCHoices in Tents
This week the gang gets together to talk about Fatty's experience in haggling on the trade-in value of his car, talking about having AI write a story for the show and some of the POoRCHoices that Sarcastro recently made putting him in a tent for a few days. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 147 - Rants #82 - Slippery Pete & the Jelly Rolls
01/15/2024
Episode 147 - Rants #82 - Slippery Pete & the Jelly Rolls
This week Corporal, Fatty and Banky are messing up your social media algorithms by talking about the weird and disturbing things they've seen on the internet and the things they wish they hadn't, all stemming from Fatty's time in the bathroom just hours before the show. Nothing is off limits and no apologies will made. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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Episode 146 - Rants #81 - Streaming Away the Days
01/08/2024
Episode 146 - Rants #81 - Streaming Away the Days
This week Corporal, Sarcastro and Banky get together to talk about what they were streaming during the holidays and what shows they want to catch up on sooner than later all while getting annoyed by the constant rising costs of streaming services and Amazon introducing ads into Prime Video and the future of the stream wars. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar)
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Episode 145 - Rants #80 - Bingo Cards, Resolutions, and the Future
01/01/2024
Episode 145 - Rants #80 - Bingo Cards, Resolutions, and the Future
This week the whole gang gets together to discuss how many of the predictions on their 2023 bingo cards came to fruition and how far off they were on some of them. They also discuss resolutions they might consider (because who really sticks to them anyway?) and the future of how topics will be selected for the show. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar)
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Episode 144 - Rants #79 - Christmas Edging
12/25/2023
Episode 144 - Rants #79 - Christmas Edging
This week the gang discusses some of their traditions that they do leading up to the Christmas holiday including when they start to decorate, what movies they watch, and making the the kids wait to start opening gifts which Corporal quickly dubbed as Christmas edging. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar)
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Episode 143 - Rants # 78 - Scandinavian Special Delivery
12/18/2023
Episode 143 - Rants # 78 - Scandinavian Special Delivery
This week the fellas talk about Fatty's night out to see the band Aqua in Philadephia and then move over to discussing their dislike for a number of parcel delivery services and round it out with a quick talk about the lineage results from Fatty's father's DNA test. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar)
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Episode 142 - Rants #77 - Holy Holes
12/11/2023
Episode 142 - Rants #77 - Holy Holes
This week the gang discusses contintuing to wear undergarments with questionable structural integrity, mismatched socks, holding on to shirts from 25 years ago and the type of toilet paper they find in public restrooms and their homes and makes them wonder if they are cheap or ghetto. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar)
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Episode 141 - Rants #76 - Boys on the Sides
12/04/2023
Episode 141 - Rants #76 - Boys on the Sides
This week the boys join around the virtual table to talk about the side dishes they like and don't like to see around the holidays with a split decision on green bean casserole, yams and agreements on stuffing not having oysters in it and everyone is still left wondering if macaroni and cheese should be a holiday side. Intro and Outro music written and performed by Andrés Rodríguez (Androzguitar).
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