Radio Free Dogpatch

Patrick O'Grady was bad enough with pen and ink, and even worse with a keyboard. Now he has a microphone. God help us all.

Easter Service: Making a Joyful Noise 04/16/2023

Easter Service: Making a Joyful Noise Spring isn't a date on the calendar. It's more of a feeling. A warm one, if you're lucky. For me, the vernal equinox is rarely the starter's pistol. I don't hear that big bang until Herself asks whether her Soma Double Cross is ready to ride after a long winter's nap on its hook in the garage. By that reckoning, spring arrived in The Duck! City on April 9, Easter Sunday. It was a few degrees short of ideal — I like to think of spring as that time when I can unsheath the arms and knees, charge those solar batteries, collect a little free vitamin D. But if we had to roll out in arm and knee warmers, so what? As you know, you go to ride with the spring you have, not the spring you might want or wish to have at a later time. Music and sound effects are courtesy of (shoutout to David-Gwyn Jones for ); the (a snappy salute to the U.S. Army Blues for ), from "Live at Blues Alley"); ; and Your Humble Narrator. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/26555610

Marching Forward, Looking Backward: Happy Birthday to Who? 03/26/2023

Marching Forward, Looking Backward: Happy Birthday to Who? Birthdays. Some of us get overserved, others get 86'd with the cork barely out of the bottle. Whoever's in charge of this party seems a bit random. Can't tell the top shelf from the well, the class from the dross. Proper ladies and gents given the shove while the most appalling tossers have the run o' the place. Herself is back east with family and friends to raise a belated parting glass to a lifelong friend felled by COVID last fall. I'm right here, having charge of the cat. But recently I spoke with my old comrade Charles "Live Update Guy" Pelkey, who has taken a few sucker punches since a cancer diagnosis a dozen years ago but is still on his feet in Laramie, all bouncers be damned. It may be my birthday that's on tap come Monday, but I'd buy Charles a round to celebrate his most recent lap around the sun, may it not be his last. And I wish I could give Herself's pal Sue a few more birthdays. I've had more of them than I expected, certainly more than I deserve, and her candle was blown out far too soon. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/26342466

Welcome to the Feed Zone: TANSTAAFL, Tifosi 03/11/2023

Welcome to the Feed Zone: TANSTAAFL, Tifosi The bitter economic headwinds prove too much for some in the peloton of cycling journalism. It's a rough old road, especially when you ride it on the rivet in the bloody gutter of vulture capitalism. The sport is pricey to do, and to cover. Advertising is a hard sell. Memberships and subscriptions can only take you so far. Old pros lose the wheel; newcomers hope to find some form. Above the course floats the vulture capitalist, riding the ill wind, never missing a musette. It's all feed zone for that scavenger, from the grand depart to the finish line. Give a thought to your favorite former cycling scribe the next time you can't find any of that information that wants to be free. There's ain't no such thing as a free lunch. Unless you're a buzzard. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/26198961

Sounding it Out: The Air's Not Dead, It's Just Not At All Well 02/26/2023

Sounding it Out: The Air's Not Dead, It's Just Not At All Well The Voices and I have been having a meeting of the minds as to exactly why we want to belly-flop back into this sonic kiddie pool, a shallow backwater that drains feebly and sporadically into the Great Audio River. But apparently we're at least one mind short. However, we do not lack for Voices. And they all have their own microphones because somebody around here got a little acquisitive a couple years back. If we don't pipe them into your heads, they'll keep hanging around in ours. Sorry about that. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/26051034

Truly Awful Ain't So bad 02/16/2023

Truly Awful Ain't So bad The zombie podcast Radio Free Dogpatch awakens after a two-year dirt nap, scuttles out from beneath its filthy blanket of mulch, litter, and snow, and shambles about looking for something (or someone) to eat. Or at least listen. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/25953306

Spring Broken 03/01/2021

Spring Broken Patrick O'Grady used to wheelsuck the bike magazines to spring break in Arizona or California. Then the biz wised up and he had to stick his own snoot into the breeze. Until last year, when like many of us, he enjoyed all the travel of a rigid aluminum fork. And now, in Year Two of the Plague, he's stuck — because he hasn't been stuck. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/18148187

Warmed Twice 02/22/2021

Warmed Twice When Texas sank back into the Ice Age, Patrick O'Grady was reminded of the good old days on a wind-scoured rockpile outside Weirdcliffe, Colorado, where the power shut off whenever it was most inconvenient, the candle lanterns and Coleman two-burner were close at hand, and a Lopi fireplace insert and a tall woodpile kept the toilets from exploding like a bottle of beer left overlong in the freezer. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/18045815

Road Hard 02/15/2021

Road Hard Or, My Home Really Is On the Range /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/17960225

Have Mercy, Been Waitin' on the E-Bus All Day 02/08/2021

Have Mercy, Been Waitin' on the E-Bus All Day There's something about February that's guaranteed to set a Mad Dog to howling. This time it's Impeachy the Clown as the opening act for our local bozos and their buses. Did everyone forget to lock their wigs before their moment of simulated exhilaration, or what? /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/17873111

Up in the Air or Down in the Dumps? 02/01/2021

Up in the Air or Down in the Dumps? Lockup got you down? Fortress of Solitude starting to smell like feet, fast food, and farts? Well, Clark, turn off that Zoom cam, take off the glasses, and see if you can still clear your top tube in a single bound. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/17775368

Bleach Blankety-Blanket Bingo 04/27/2020

Bleach Blankety-Blanket Bingo Being on lockdown is like watching a bad movie. Sure, it sucks, but if you bail early, you might miss something. Or catch something. Why not just lean back, put your feet up, and enjoy (hating) the show? The credits will roll soon enough. And we know who's not getting a best-director Oscar for this hot mess. Say, is it just me, or does this soda taste like bleach? /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/14172245

The New Abnormal 04/18/2020

The New Abnormal Patience, like yeast, beans, and toilet paper, is just one more thing that people are running short of as the lockdown drags on. Patrick O'Grady tapped his supply to get through eight weeks with a broken ankle, but thinks he has a little bit left over to deal with The Bug. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/14045318

Hello In There 04/11/2020

Hello In There It's tough to take baby steps with 66-year-old feet. Especially when one of ’em doesn't work all that well. But jolly old Doc O'Grady feels it's prudent to hobble out to check society's temperature now and then, especially when cabin fever is starting to feel as deadly as any other bug. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13946132

Doing Time 04/01/2020

Doing Time Staying at home, social distancing — these practices aren't jailin', but they're not exactly living' large, either. Sure, your cell is a little bigger, the guards a little less present, the food better. It's just that you'd rather be on the streets. But listen to an old con — let that time do itself. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13808072

Beans, Buttwipe and Bullets 03/24/2020

Beans, Buttwipe and Bullets Anyone who says "three's a crowd" didn't see the antisocially undistant hordes infesting some Duke City's trailheads on Sunday, a day before New Mexico's governor went on TV to holler, "Don't make me stop this state and come back there!" As a consequence we must endure Potrick calling various kettles black. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13685630

Antisocial Distancing 03/22/2020

Antisocial Distancing Working from home isn't for everyone. But weirdos like Patrick O'Grady wouldn't be remotely employable if they couldn't be employed remotely. Sure, he takes a lot of really loud meetings with the voices in his head. But they never complain to HR, so it's all good. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13643999

We're In the Soup 03/12/2020

We're In the Soup The Plague is upon us, we're quaking under the comforter, and someone is bringing us a plastic bowl of industrial soup and some dried-up old white crackers. Say, who is that wearing Mom's apron, anyway? /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13519139

Requiescat in Pace 03/05/2020

Requiescat in Pace Nursing a broken ankle and crazed on antihistamines, Patrick O'Grady tries to make sense of Super Tuesday a day late and a peso short, and as usual, fails utterly. Lo siento mucho. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13426541

Rolled Another One 02/27/2020

Rolled Another One Patrick O'Grady has a bad habit of rolling ... ankles. He gave up rolling the other stuff ages ago. Which is too bad, really, because if he'd been rolling a blunt last Friday morning he wouldn't have been rolling an ankle during a trail run. And some other poor sap would have gotten this low-tech pair of crutches, and this podcast wouldn't be two days late and more than a dollar short. Just say no, kids. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13329530

Random Acts of Radio 02/19/2020

Random Acts of Radio You got your AM, and over here, you also got your FM. And over there, you got your fat boys wanting to take it away from you. Longtime listener-member Patrick O'Grady deejays a brief, one-man pledge drive for NPR. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13210523

The Monitor in the Merrimack 02/11/2020

The Monitor in the Merrimack A discussion at about distraction-packed land yachts causes Patrick O'Grady to recall (and resurrect) a 2014 Bicycle Retailer and Industry News column about the auto industry's drive to make cars smarter than their drivers. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13113092

The Royal Flush 02/04/2020

The Royal Flush Republicans want a king. Democrats want a messiah. And Patrick O'Grady just wants to get through his 30th podcast without being struck by lightning (or Lee Trevino). /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/13021307

Happy Trails 01/28/2020

Happy Trails Riding trails when they're muddy, like encountering an unguided SUV drifting into the bike lane, is gonna leave a mark. Just ask Patrick O'Grady, who will tell you all about it even if you don't ask. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/12916766

Peach Mint Lollipop 01/22/2020

Peach Mint Lollipop "Comparisons are odorous," as Dogberry declares in "Much Ado About Nothing." Small wonder, then, that a Mad Dog is stinking up the Innertubes with his comparisons of Il Douche's impeachment trial to a Christmas gone wrong, school "pep" assemblies, and the nuance- and nutrition-free nothingburgers pitched at us by Mickey D and Mickey M. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/12851780

Riding On the Rims 01/13/2020

Riding On the Rims For a cyclist, fixing a flat is part of the price of admission to the game. And a garrulous potato-eater like Patrick O'Grady occasionally finds a tale in the travail. Or a podcast. ... /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/12717008

Dear Diary 01/07/2020

Dear Diary Patrick O'Grady still keeps a training diary, though he's not training for anything other than being Patrick O'Grady. You'd think he'd have that down by now. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/12648026

The Mad Dog in Winter 12/24/2019

The Mad Dog in Winter Winter seems colder than usual this year. We've already seen a White Walker in Albuquerque, and he's looking for his Social Security check. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/12526601

The IT Guy 12/16/2019

The IT Guy The trouble with being your own IT guy is that you're being your own IT guy when you should be being whatever the hell it is that you really are. Just ask Patrick O'Grady. Then move over. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/12422474

Stock Options 05/04/2019

Stock Options What can society do to punish some well-heeled, ne'er-do-well swell deemed too big to fail into jail? How about a stint in the stocks? To paraphrase Marsellus Wallace from "Pulp Fiction," let's get medieval on their ass. Patrick O'Grady is already pitching. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/9652934

The Right Side of the Lawn 03/27/2019

The Right Side of the Lawn Patrick O'Grady muses on a few close calls en route to turning 65, including one right before The Big Day. /episode/index/show/radiofreedogpatch/id/9169091

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