Real Feels

In a society where we are constantly re-defining what it means to be a man, Brad Gage brings you a podcast that asks guests to be vulnerable about masculinity and gender issues - looking at who they are now, who they aim to be, and the space in-between.

Charles Bukowski: The Problematic Poet 03/12/2024

Charles Bukowski: The Problematic Poet Charles Bukowski was one of the most famous and revered poets of the 20th century, but did his attitude and actions toward women negatively influence a generation of men? And is it possible to separate the art from the problematic artist? Host Brad Gage tries his best to do just that and fails mid-podcast to find that my moral threshold doesn’t allow him to admire people who demean and abuse women (no matter how much he loves their poetry). Hosted, Edited, and Produced by Brad Gage Logo by Nolan Fabricius Theme Song by Russell Henson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/30266788

How to Not Be a Creep 02/20/2024

How to Not Be a Creep What makes a guy a "creep"? And how can you make sure women aren't calling you one? While creepiness is subjective, it is the number one description to stay away from in dating or your social life. Being called a creep is one of the worst things for your reputation. Brad Gage takes time to figure out what are the traits of a “creep”, some actual examples of creepiness to give context, and some ideas on how to not become one. Hosted, Edited, and Produced by Brad Gage Logo by Nolan Fabricius Theme Song by Russell Henson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/30023028

A Male Platonic Friendship "Dating" App with Marc Milberg of Olley 10/18/2023

A Male Platonic Friendship "Dating" App with Marc Milberg of Olley Host Brad Gage talks to Marc Milberg - founder of Olley, an app for men to connect with new friends in their area based on personality, interests, & more. Basically what they’ve built is a friendship-finding app that functions similarly to dating apps, but it’s all platonic. Studies show that in 2021, 15% of men reported having no close friends, compared to only 3% in 1990. This is a fivefold increase since 1990. Especially for anyone who just recently moved to a new city, finding male friends is not easy, so there is a clear need for something like this. Here is Marc Milberg’s explanation for why the world needs the Olley app, and how he and Brad may have just made ourselves friends IRL in the process of this podcast. Download Olley: Hosted, Edited, and Produced by Brad Gage Logo by Nolan Fabricius Theme Song by Russell Henson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/28355435

Patriarchy Blues and Intersectionality with author Fred Joseph 10/03/2023

Patriarchy Blues and Intersectionality with author Fred Joseph Brad talks to 2 time New York Times bestselling author Frederick Joseph about intersectional feminism, how people can be both oppressed and privileged at the same time, why he could beat Joe Rogan’s ass. Plus, they dive into the historical idea of women seen as property. Fred has written the sometimes-banned books "The Black Friend" and "Patriarchy Blues", as well as "Better Than We Found It" and "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - The Courage to Dream". On this episode, Brad got to do something few people have done - talk with one of their favorite authors about specific passages of one of their favorite books. Fred's Substack: https://frederickjoseph.substack.com/ Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage Logo by Nolan Fabricius Theme Song by Russell Henson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/28208462

Men's Dating Coaches and the Modern Manosphere with Michael Le 07/21/2023

Men's Dating Coaches and the Modern Manosphere with Michael Le Brad talks to Michael Le (aka "Dr. Silk"), a men's coach, about how conversational artistry is pretty much the most important thing in talking to women. Michael talks about his emphasis on empathy, curiosity, and listening when it comes to engaging with women, or anybody successfully. Brad's past episode about Pickup Artists and YouTube Dating Coaches caught Michael's attention, and the two talk about thoughtful, modern tactics in dating, as well as an explaination of the Andrew Tate phenomenon, MGTOW (men going their own way), and "black pill" mentalities. Michael's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@realmrsilk Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage Logo by Nolan Fabricius Theme Song by Russell Henson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/27527235

Millennial and Gen X Talk About Masculinity and Addiction - with Tom Matlack 05/24/2023

Millennial and Gen X Talk About Masculinity and Addiction - with Tom Matlack Brad talks to writer, entrepreneur, and guy who helps men get sober - Tom Matlack. Tom is one of the authors of the book The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood and you should definitely check out his writing by searching his name in Substack. What starts as a conversation of masculinity perspectives from a millennial guy versus a Gen X dude, turns into a deep assessment of life as a recovering alcoholic and money-obsessed individual. I’m so grateful to Tom for being so vulnerable, and zeroing in on why the dream of success and money is never really the answer to our inner troubles. Tom's Substack: Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage Logo by Nolan Fabricius Theme Song by Russell Henson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/26937312

The Lie That Self-Objectification is Empowering with Dr. Caroline Heldman 03/29/2023

The Lie That Self-Objectification is Empowering with Dr. Caroline Heldman On today’s episode, Brad is talking to Dr. Caroline Heldman - a professor of Critical Theory and Social Justice at Occidental College in Los Angeles. She is also Executive Director of The Representation Project and has been featured in some of the most important documentaries on the subject of gender studies including Miss Representation and The Mask You Live In. Caroline is a friend who has been instrumental in guiding Brad through his journey of exploration on the subjects of modern masculinity, rape culture, gender equity, and intersectional feminism. Basically, if Brad am ever confused about what to do or who to talk to about a certain subject, he's lucky to be able to reach out to Caroline. Today, we are chatting about the topics in her new book: The Sexy Lie - which is an update and deeper dive on her viral TED talk of the same name. If you are interested in getting the book, there’s a link in the description or you can go to Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage Logo by Nolan Fabricius Theme Song by Russell Henson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/26363088

Saying the Things Men Aren't Supposed to Say 03/22/2023

Saying the Things Men Aren't Supposed to Say I think a lot of guys feel the exact same way as me. So why don't they talk about it openly? Because the patriarchy and modern masculinity tell us that if we do, we're breaking the bro code and we are the worst thing imaginable - feminine. But it's not gendered to feel emotions, it's human. Written and Hosted and Edited by Brad Gage Subscribe for more conversations around modern masculinity and the inner lives of men. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/26174427

How I Stopped Watching Tubesite Porn 03/15/2023

How I Stopped Watching Tubesite Porn Research shows that tubesite porn use is leading men to be less engaged in real relationships, have more erectile dysfunction, and have less motivation to make human connections. Plus, the main porn industry is fraught with abuse and inequity. This is not a deep dive about the injustices of porn, while there are many. This is a practical, reasonable guide for guys who want to ween off of a genuine compulsion. Written and Hosted and Edited by Brad Gage Subscribe for more conversations around modern masculinity and the inner lives of men. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/26174397

The Importance of Male Friendship 03/09/2023

The Importance of Male Friendship Guys, for the sake of your health, check in on the men in your life. Lean into the camaraderie you have in your community. And if you don’t have it, be brave and do the work to go get them. At least making male friendship connections should be a little less hard than dating. Written and Hosted and Edited by Brad Gage Subscribe for more conversations around modern masculinity and the inner lives of men. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/26174304

How Prisoners Taught Me Feminism 01/11/2023

How Prisoners Taught Me Feminism This is a story about a group of the most traditionally masculine men possible - convicts, felons, and murderers - talking about feminism. Brad was inspired by the documentary "The Feminist on Cell Block Y" about program that helps teach prisoners about toxic masculinity, patriarchy, and how they can reach their personal goals in healthier ways. The film is a testament to rehabilitation, education, and how love within a community can heal the wounds we have within ourselves. Written and Hosted and Edited by Brad Gage Subscribe for more conversations around modern masculinity and the inner lives of men. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/25460844

Why I Won't Watch HBO's Euphoria 01/05/2023

Why I Won't Watch HBO's Euphoria Euphoria is a groundbreaking TV series in a lot of ways, but it wasn’t until I understood how the show sexualizes teenagers that I realized why I had always felt uncomfortable at the idea of watching it. I explain how much the things we watch actually affect our view of the world, and why images of sexy teens can be harmful. Written, Produced, Edited, and Hosted by Brad Gage READ the Jessica Valenti piece "The Euphoria Problem" https://jessica.substack.com/p/the-euphoria-problem?s=r /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/25360059

Why The Rock is the World's Most Famous Feminist 12/20/2022

Why The Rock is the World's Most Famous Feminist Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is arguably the biggest movie star in the world, and if you pay close enough attention, he's also the biggest feminist in Hollywood. Brad dives into The Rock's life, love, children, TV show, and more to unravel why Johnson is one of those unique famous men who believes in real equality (which is also why he's probably running for president). Written and Hosted and Edited by Brad Gage Subscribe for more conversations around modern masculinity and the inner lives of men. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/25359978

An Introduction to Restorative Justice with Sonya Shah 12/13/2022

An Introduction to Restorative Justice with Sonya Shah Sonya Shah is someone Brad has admired from her appearances on other podcasts for her deep expertise around restorative justice, and all forms of healing justice that represent an alternative to the punitive, and many times racially insensitive systems of justice that currently preside in this country. Sonya is the Co-Executive Director of Ahimsa Collective is an organization that works to address harm in ways that foster wholeness for everyone. Their goals are to replace systems of punishment with paradigms grounded in healing, relationship, and love. It’s a great talk where Sonya takes Brad to school around the work of restorative justice - how it’s not a silver bullet solution to all instances of harm, and how much race and sheltered moralities really come into play for the people who disagree that we need an alternative to the current justice system’s structure of repairing harm. Real Feels is produced, edited and hosted by Brad Gage. The theme song was written by Russell Henson and our logo was designed by Nolan Fabricus. Thanks for listening and if you or someone you love is interested in seeking a restorative approach to harm, please reach out to the Ahimsa Collective at And if you want more conversations around masculinity and empathy, and loving the inner world of men, subscribe to this podcast or to Real Feels on YouTube. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/25312155

Why Large Age Gap Relationships Can Feel Gross 08/08/2022

Why Large Age Gap Relationships Can Feel Gross Is age just a number? Using celebrities, TV, and pop culture, Brad Gage digs into the psychology of age-gap relationships, why older men and younger women are attracted to each other, how it can sometimes result in an unequal power dynamic, and what can be done to help these relationships thrive. Includes analysis of age-gap May-December romances, Evolution Theory, Gender Roles, "Daddy Issues", plus Dane Cook and Jerry Seinfeld dating teenagers. It'll all make sense when you listen. Written and Hosted by Brad Gage Produced by Brad Gage and Allison Mandell Editing by Brad Gage /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/23979348

What Happens After #MeToo? Restorative Justice 07/18/2022

What Happens After #MeToo? Restorative Justice What should come after the era? Restorative Justice is a process that hands the power to the victim after harm is done, while still working in collaboration with the person who did the harm. This way all those involved can release some of the shame, anger, or secrecy surrounding the incident. Because sometimes victims need something more than what law and order can provide. Written, Edited, and Performed by Brad Gage Music by Russell Henson Check out Russell's music here: Find resources on Restorative Justice through the Ahimsa Collective /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/23768321

Male Sex Coach Cam Fraser Talking Porn, Masturbation, and Communication 04/26/2022

Male Sex Coach Cam Fraser Talking Porn, Masturbation, and Communication Cam Fraser is Australia's leading men's sex coach who you can find through his engaging, thoughtful, and frequently funny Instagram videos. He speaks to men about everything from masturbation, to porn, to myths about male sex organs. Luckily, we have become friends, and today’s episode is where I get to ask him all my juicy questions about taboos, if porn is energetically cheating on your partner, and how men can help themselves take the shame out of porn, and sex and masturbation. Cam is really all about liberation from the ideas that keep men in the dark about their sexuality, and I am HERE FOR IT. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/22894406

How Pickup Artists Ruined Dating 09/03/2021

How Pickup Artists Ruined Dating Pickup Artists might seem old, corny, and pretty ridiculous to most people, but since their mid-2000’s rise in popularity, the philosophy of THE GAME has influenced a generation of young men to manipulate their way to sex. With pickup gurus like Ross Jeffries, Neil Strauss, and Mystery teaching men for decades how to cut the female experience out of dating, they've made a lasting influence on the minds of modern single guys. Brad breaks down the “rules”, the mindset, and the emotional disconnection in hopes to find a better way to find love. Writing / Hosting / Graphics / Editing by Brad Gage Produced by Brad Gage and Allison Mandell Special thanks to: Dana Swanson Caron Clancey Matt Fried Jesse McKiel Ben Gonzales Ryan Thomas Andrew Delman Max Johanson /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/20356394

Amanda Crew on Eating Disorders and Sexual Trauma 04/08/2021

Amanda Crew on Eating Disorders and Sexual Trauma Amanda Crew (HBO's Silicon Valley) and Brad have been friends a long time, but recently bonded over each of them finding movements they are truly passionate about. For Brad, it's reframing toxic masculinity, and for her, it's re-educating people around eating disorders. She's been vocal about it in her work with Project Heal, but in this conversation, we get to the genesis of her journey through anorexia. Amanda also gets frank about her own experiences with sexual trauma, providing advice about how romantic partners of victims can maneuver sex in a way that honors body autonomy and past events. Thanks for listening and if you want to find out more about Project Heal, which is an organization working to break down systemic, healthcare, and financial barriers to eating disorder treatment - go to theProjectHeal.org. Also - if you or someone you love is a victim of sexual violence seeking resources or support, you can find that and more at RAINN.org where they are in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country. Hosted, Produced, and Edited by Brad Gage Subscribe to Real Feels on YouTube for more videos about how we form a new, more empathetic masculinity. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/18650402

Joe Rogan Doesn't Understand Toxic Masculinity 06/30/2020

Joe Rogan Doesn't Understand Toxic Masculinity Joe Rogan has one major blindspot - his own toxic masculinity. While his open-mindedness on politics, relationships, drugs, hunting, and other social subjects is part of why he's amassed millions of subscribers (and a new $100 million Spotify contract), Rogan rejects the idea that men are conditioned in a way that is harmful to women and themselves. Brad Gage looks at the Joe Rogan Experience podcast as a whole, showing why Rogan would be even more successful if he embraced his emotional, empathetic, and cooperative side. Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage Written by Brad Gage and Allison Mandell /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/14990432

Ep 25 - Sarah Moshman 05/27/2020

Ep 25 - Sarah Moshman Like the women in her documentaries, director Sarah Moshman is on a mission. Her work is centered firmly around female empowerment - not just because she recognizes the injustices around her, but also to give her daughter a future with equity, integrity, and real possibility. Sarah’s ability to turn her message into her career makes her one of my personal role models, and her passion for communicating the female experience is infectious - as you’ll hear in our chat. Sarah and I talk about the tough gender subjects - sexual assault, conditioning, and how to talk with our future children about sex. Anyone can host a screening of Sarah's film at www.neverthelessfilm.com Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/14582732

Ep 24 - Miguel Ferrer 05/19/2020

Ep 24 - Miguel Ferrer My friend Miguel Ferrer works internationally as a writer and director for feature films, music videos, and commercials. An exciting life as a storyteller, he could only have realized because his parents emigrated him from Venezuela to Miami when he was a young boy. His heritage is his pride, though Miguel is not afraid to critique the types of toxic male traits that permeate Latino culture. We break down ways to curb macho bullying, how being handsome doesn’t have as much of an effect on women as you think, and a bunch more in today’s episode. yQ6lquHBh3vxW4tbL3rC /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/14478740

Ep 23 - Dustin Milligan (from Schitt's Creek & RuPaul's Celebrity Drag Race) 05/13/2020

Ep 23 - Dustin Milligan (from Schitt's Creek & RuPaul's Celebrity Drag Race) Dustin Milligan is a man very in touch with his masculinity, and if you caught him recently as one of the winners on RuPaul’s Celebrity Drag Race - you’d see he’s clearly in touch with his femininity just as much. You might know Dustin from TV shows like Schitt’s Creek or Silicon Valley, but the guy I know above all is one who genuinely looks at the impact his life is making...and a dude who is just filled to the brim with puns. You can see the proof on his hilarious instagram account. Dustin sat down with me several months ago, right after he had shot Drag Race, to talk about why he had to cut out cannabis after 15 years, how he sees our society’s relationship to social media, and why listening is the best thing men can do right now in the wake of #MeToo. I’m so grateful he took some time to be with me, in THIS moment. Hosted and Produced by Brad Gage /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/14399108

The Surprising Masculinity of Mister Rogers 04/15/2020

The Surprising Masculinity of Mister Rogers What does it mean to be a man? In his own particular way, Mister Rogers represented traits that traditionally masculine men pride themselves in - power, strength, confidence, and success. And his tactics are just what the modern man needs to maneuver personal relationships in the 21st century. Special thanks to everyone who had a part in the making of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood”, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor”, and “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/13979471

Ep 22 - Caron Clancey 03/25/2020

Ep 22 - Caron Clancey Caron Clancey is a writer, director, and eco-conscious hero. And I say “hero” because she wields her power in the way that every one of us can - with our wallets. She makes choices every day, no matter how small, to lower her carbon footprint and help heal the environment. And I think it’s about time that we recognize how exciting it is to make big changes every day. Caron and I talk here about her love for dirt, the helpful earth-nerd tricks she shares online, and how disconnected masculinity bleeds into every area of environmental politics. Above all, this episode will inspire you to make even the smallest baby steps toward your health and the world’s. Because we do what we can with the choices we are brought. And I’m so glad to bring you Caron Clancey in this moment….right now…. Caron's favorite video about composting - /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/13690454

Ep 21 - Evan Watkins 03/19/2020

Ep 21 - Evan Watkins Evan Watkins is an actor, guitarist, and guy who has made enough mistakes in his romantic life to know how important listening is. And it shows. What is lovely about this episode is that Evan was down to attack some big questions about masculinity with humility, and an awareness that while there are a lot of external pressures to be a certain type of guy, real manliness comes from having empathy for women and not pushing your own expectations on a situation. Listening, learning and striving to be better is what evolving is all about. I’m so glad Evan took some time to be here with me right now... /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/13611239

Ep 20 - Lisa Schwartz 03/11/2020

Ep 20 - Lisa Schwartz Lisa Schwartz is an actress, producer, and personality who built a career on being herself for an audience of 2 million subscribers on YouTube. And being herself is about asking people to be empowered by the imperfect, and leaning into the quirks of being your age - which she did with her 2019 memoir “Thirty Life Crisis”. After going through a very public breakup a few years ago, she has finally found herself in a relationship that gives her peace, balance, and someone to lay on the bathroom floor with her when she’s hungover. I’m so lucky to have Lisa on the show today, where she taught me that there’s always hard stuff, you’re always evolving and that’s the beauty of life. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/13504925

Ep 19 - Steve Levy 03/05/2020

Ep 19 - Steve Levy Steve Levy is a guy who doesn’t completely feel like he’s grown up yet, and he’s okay with that. As an associate producer of the hit Adult Swim show “Rick and Morty”, he’s worked hard as hell to succeed in an environment where he can immerse himself in the world of the movies and TV his father showed him as a young boy. And sometimes that immersion has affected his dating like, as you’ll hear. Today - we talk about what it was like growing up as a sensitive kid, the frat-like climate at his high school, and some life lessons he gleaned from his dad. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/13405880

Ep 18 - Lola Blanc 02/19/2020

Ep 18 - Lola Blanc Actress, singer, and director Lola Blanc is currently breaking out of her persona. After spending much of her adult life focused on pop music stardom, she’s now honing in on being more the version of herself that is...herself. And part of that is publicly sharing her perspectives on subjects like Mormonism, (which took up much of her childhood), sexism (which took up much of her music career), and allowing people space to make mistakes and grow (which is part of her mission now). Her coming on the show was actually prompted by an instagram post she shared about how conflicted she is playing into the algorithms of social media that are so entrenched in the male gaze. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/13219052

Ep 17 - Philip Wang 02/12/2020

Ep 17 - Philip Wang Philip Wang feels like he’s graduating into the next phase of his life, and it’s easy to agree with him. Along with his team at Wong Fu Productions, Philip built a YouTube channel with a fanbase of over 3 million people. Also - within the past year, he realized his dreams of opening a restaurant (bopomofo cafe), AND proposing to his girlfriend Helen. It all seems perfect, but, of course, it took a TON of inner work to get here. As you’ll see, Philip still feels impatient for what he can see is a future of opportunity - not just for him, but for the entire Asian American community. He’s a very busy guy and a great friend and I’m so grateful he took a little time to be here with me right now. /episode/index/show/realfeels/id/13120307

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