Reasons For The Apocalypse

Distractions for your ears while we await the end times.

The Emo Episode Part 1 (with Kamal) 03/27/2025

The Emo Episode Part 1 (with Kamal) Special guest Kamal joins the boys in Part 1 of our Emo Episode Series. What's the deal with emo, anyway? We talk our personal emo origin stories, what songs we thought would magically make girls like us, emo as early-2000's fashion, emo gateway bands, burning mix CD's, and why the car sun visor CD case was designed to scratch CD's. At the 55 minute mark, we shift into our first Nicky's Advice Corner submitted from a guest as Kamal seeks Nicky's dating advice. Thank you for listening. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/35587895

Dr. Pepper's Kiss (w/ Saraya) 03/20/2025

Dr. Pepper's Kiss (w/ Saraya) Friend (and sibling) of the show, Saraya, joins us to fill in for Ryan who is still on hiatus! We start with a topic: What's the best thing you can get from a quarter vending machine? Then, "Nicky's Advice Corner:" did she make too big of a scene when the server brought out an already-opened can of soda? At the 45 minute mark the theme continues with our Tiermaker segment "Tierdrop Saloon:" Soda! Whatever you call it: soda, pop, coke... Which of the world's beloved fizzy beverages will make the S-Tier and what ends up on the "f*ck off" tier? Finally, we end with plugging some weird songs no one remembers. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/35500660

Bible vs. Marvel 03/13/2025

Bible vs. Marvel Rod, Brian and Nick take the reigns and shake up the format a little in this episode. In Part 1: We start with an extended Video Game Tree House segment with our opinions on Final Fantasy Rebirth, Final Fantasy nostalgia in general, and some of our favorite games at the time of the recording. Then we haphazardly stumble into some great feuds: Canes vs. Walking Sticks. Bible vs. Marvel. Taking Back Sunday vs. Brand New vs. Straylight Run, and a visit to the Emo Speculation Basement. In Part 2: Tierdrop Saloon - At the 45 minute mark, we shift over to a ranking classifc stores at the mall in a Mall Mega Tier List! What classic mall stores will make the coveted S-Tier? American Eagle? Orange Julius? Cinnabon? The answers may shock you. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/35494695

All Signs Point to Snookie (In a Tesla Underwater With Time to Kill) 03/06/2025

All Signs Point to Snookie (In a Tesla Underwater With Time to Kill) We have no show outline for this one so we turn to an old form of entertainment: asking the Magic 8 Ball. Also: What modern TV show would make a good retro video game? Can we name all the Jersey Shore characters? And which one of them would you want to have at your sleep over? Can the Magic 8 ball predict death? No sports short in this one but a rare "Sports Q&A." It's all fitting nonsense for our 50th episode! Much like Outback this one is no rules, just right! /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/35490855

You Failed, You Are Now French Fry 03/01/2025

You Failed, You Are Now French Fry Technical issues. MLB Pants Discussion. Nicky Reads our Horroscopes. Wacky Headlines From Around the Globe (Funeral Home Edition.) "What's the Deal:" McDonald's 80's "McRockin' Foods" Music Toys. Sports Short: A Timely Recap of Brian's Preview of the 2023-2024 NFL Season. Thank you for listening! Join our discord: https://discord.gg/6htfKGk8 /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/35490545

The T in T-Pain is Tamagotchi 02/02/2025

The T in T-Pain is Tamagotchi It's a segment-free all nonsense bonanza to delite you as we enter year 5 of Reasons for the Apocalypse (wow.) Enjoy meandering yet delightful distractions including: weird sounds, what the T in T Pain is for, battle of the tiny influencers, being invisible, trying to recreate laughter, and then a sports short on too much darn money being in baseball. Thanks for listening! /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/35118225

Christmas Is a Flat Circle 11/30/2024

Christmas Is a Flat Circle *Tim Allen as Santa Clause Voice*: Ho ho hoooooooo there! It's me. Tim Allen. As Santa. And boy oh boy do I ever have a treat for you. No, no, noooooooo. Not coal, silly! It's a podcast! It's a verrrrrrryyyyyy special Reasons for the Apocalypse! (*makes his trademark grunt noises, but jollier*) My friends and yours, the 4 Horsemen, came on up to my Binford Tools North Pole Workshop to record a festive Christmas themed episode, with -- what's that??? *In unison with live studio audience* "MORRRRRREEE POWWWWEERRRRR"! First, my jolly friends talk about some very, very, MANLY Holiday hunks! Not as manly as me though! *winks and jostles belly* Ho, ho, ho! Then Nicky will decide if someone has been naughty or nice this year! Hey, I thought that was my job! (*Audience laughs*) And what's the holidays without a little competition, isn't that right, Al? Has our pal Ryan finally met his match when he goes up against BUSINESS INSIDER? No tricks, all treats, my friends! And hey! What's the Deal, with this Temu Political Christmas Ornament by Zazzle? *Gets distracted with candy-cane-colored leaf blower* Oh! Ho, ho! And sports, I love sports, and with Brian. Is Draymond Green still a real grinch?? Santa shoots, Santa scores! So don't be on MY naughty list this year, and listen now! Follow us on X: @podreasons Buy a copy of Disney's The Santa Clause for 3.71 here: https://www.ebay.com/itm/135193567781?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=oVrIhZsUQr6&sssrc=2047675&ssuid=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY It's the Christmas Episode /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/34210930

Modest JNCO's 11/11/2024

Modest JNCO's We're back! You have 3/4 Horsemen for this one as Ryan is on sabbatical. We start with a classic topic discussion: naked old guys in the locker room. Then we get deep into JNCO jean revival. Did you know JNCO stands for "Judge None Choose One?" Anyway. In a debut segment, we break Cereal Mascots into tiers. Who will win out in the battle of breakfast-based intellectual property? Finally, Brian's Sports Short revisits CJ Stroud's draft discourse now that he is more of an established QB. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/33871987

The Great Signature Segment Swapapalooza 08/30/2024

The Great Signature Segment Swapapalooza After a little summer hiatus we are back with a new episode, and we are getting a little bit crazy with it by having the hosts swap their signature segments. (Oh, and there are some technical difficulties, sorry about that.) After some important roller skate talk and injury talk, Nick presents "HUNK!" and Rod attempts to share some Wacky News From Around the Globe. Then it's a special Ryan's Advice Corner on whether 16 is too young to get a tattoo in the woods. Then a Brian What's the Deal on a classic but modern arcade cabinet and Nick tries his hand at a Sports Short on the Madden game franchise. We hope you enjoy it. Thanks for listening. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/32803827

I'm Not Oh-cake (I Promise) 06/27/2024

I'm Not Oh-cake (I Promise) Water bottle chat and video games. Famous celebrities who used long cigarette holders. Nicky's Advice Corner - Am I wrong for getting upset that my girlfriend didn't bake me the flavor of cake I wanted for my birthday... Or was she for not baking it? Ryan's Nighttime Championship - Ryan vs. the Art of Manliness. A timely Sports Short on the 2023 NFL season! See how accurate Brian's predictions were for last season. Thank you for listening. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/31907842

Dog Problems (IT'S THE DOG EPISODE!!) 05/17/2024

Dog Problems (IT'S THE DOG EPISODE!!) Hello hello! It's a whole dog themed episode! Full of dog hot takes and barktacular puns. We start with Brian's story corner, work through some technical issues, then get into it: a "HUNK!" segment decides who is the hunkiest actor from a dog movie, a dog-themed advice question from Reddit, a dog-themed "What's the Deal?" on Dog Wedding outfits, and finally, we even have a dog-pun-filled Sports Short on Runningbarks! You won't want to miss it. Follow us on @PodReasons on X/Twitter Discord: discord.gg/YdbHkrCH Here is what Robbie Amell looks like: /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/31361887

I Believe You But My Funko Pop Don't 04/26/2024

I Believe You But My Funko Pop Don't Pie talk. A new butter innovation. A failed edition of WikiRoulette. Rod presents "Emo Game" OR "The Real Title of This Segment is Tortuously Long." Nicky tells us his crazy Hungry Howie's stalker story. Sports Short: Running Backs. Jim Irsay talk and future emo billionaires. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/30993648

Oppenheimer Mayonnaise IPA (Things To Do in Dayton When You're Dead) 03/31/2024

Oppenheimer Mayonnaise IPA (Things To Do in Dayton When You're Dead) Topic: What's the worst taste in your mouth to have for rest of your life? Then - mayonnaise talk. Brian presents the HUNK game: Who's the hunkiest hunk from the Christopher Nolan-verse? City Mascot Game: Dayton, Ohio. Nicky's Advice Corner: I paid my friend to give me podcast advice, but now he stopped, can I ask for my money back? "What's the Deal": Our first IRL Deal! It's a Walker Texas Ranger Complete Series Complete DVD Box set, from a Bad Record Store. Sports Short: PAC12 Demise. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/30612733

Gettin' Leapy With It: The 2024 Leap Day Spectacular! 03/08/2024

Gettin' Leapy With It: The 2024 Leap Day Spectacular! IT'S EVERYONE'S FAVORITE INTERCALARY EVENT!!! 2024 Leap Day is HERE (or was recently!) and we have a packed show to celebrate. FEATURING: in-depth discussion of kangaroo pouches, an "Advice Corner" on whether someone is as an a-hole for just being born on Leap Day, a rediscovery of the Webby-award winning Hulu series Leap Year (which you likely have never heard of even though it had a cameo by Steven Weber) and a Sport Short on great moments in Leap Day history. You'll never guess why Alex Ovechkin's career was RUINED by Leap Day. As always thank you for listening. Find us on Twitter and Discord! /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/30296533

Pet Sounds 02/23/2024

Pet Sounds We take a spin in WikiRoulette to see what random Wikipedia topics we land on to explore, which leads down a rabbit hole of some band dance-emo music. Nicky presents his long-awaited Animal Sounds album, and then a round of Invention Corner. Then we play "Quote or Die" to guess celebrity briliance and close out with a Sports Short on Shohei Ohtani. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/30087283

Lawn Laws and the Semester Abroad 02/02/2024

Lawn Laws and the Semester Abroad Intro topic: Doing Everything With Two Hands. Then it's "Ryan's Incomplete Headlines," guess along with us as we try to figure out what went down in a Canadian backyard. In Nicky's Advice Corner - "Am I a Grasshole?" and a first ever What's the Deal Update on the Long Island Haunted Arcade. We close with a Sports Short on meddlesome owners. Link to the arcade featured in our What's the Deal original segment and this follow-up on the Liminal Spaces subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/LiminalSpace/comments/13gyz1q/photos_from_the_permanently_closed_play_amusements/ /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/29764953

Anna Karenina, In the Style of Northstar 01/14/2024

Anna Karenina, In the Style of Northstar This episode's tracklist for your enjoyment: The Curious Case of Bejamin's Button. Get outta here old man! Listener mail. "Sad jackass." Nicky's Advice Corner: Is it wrong to give your mom the book Anna Karenina as an anniversary gift? Interlude: Disney Pin Trading and Emo Stitch. Ryan Vs. TheRichest.com: Is "The Little Mermaid" the worst cartoon for kids, or is it Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? A song about kegel muscles in the style of emo band Northstar. Sports Short: Benching your guys for better draft picks. Outro. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/29479543

Put Donkey Kong In Air Jail 01/06/2024

Put Donkey Kong In Air Jail In the intro portion, we try to make one of those "chaotic good / lawful evil / etc" alignment grids. It's confusing. Nick presents Urban Dictionary "Dirty or Wholesome?" slang term quiz. We then take a deep dive into "Donkey Kong Country," the mostly-forgotten officially licensed bizzare CGI animated kids show based on the beloved game franchise. It's really bad, in ways that might surprise you. Finally, Brian takes a certain Lakers legend down a notch or two in the Sports Short. Thanks for listening! /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/29364633

Who Would You Slime? 12/29/2023

Who Would You Slime? Topics include: Who Would You Slime? Obama playing basketball in Mom Jeans. Shlotzky's v. Quizno's Subs, and what is a Spongmonkey? Then, in Nicky's Advice Corner: She served as a clairvoyant to her grandmother for ten years, then ended up getting the entire inheritance. Is she in the wrong? Followed by a Still Accurate Sport's Short on NFL Coaching and we close it out with some Elden Ring discussion and plugs. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/29267438

B-Sides and Rarities 12/21/2023

B-Sides and Rarities No segments this time, so you know it's extra stupid. Topics of discussion include: Kanye West. New Year's Resolutions for eachother. Funny Wi-Fi network names in the year 2023. Who would you swap lives with? Ryan might have died at a sleepover. Put me in a bubble. Don't Wake Daddy an0d Gooey Looey. Milk Cleanse and Milk Maze. Jar Jar Binks Cereal. The rules of podcasting. Jon Lovitz to JFK. No Sports Short. Thank you for listening. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/29179003

We Were Raised to Butter the Backs of Our Pop-Tarts 12/14/2023

We Were Raised to Butter the Backs of Our Pop-Tarts Nicky shares some big ailment news. We take on an Advice Corner question on overstepping boundaries at the arcade dance machine. Sports short on running backs. 2 of the hosts drop off due to technical difficulties. Who will be left at the end? Tune in and find out. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/29074053

Untitled (25th Hour Brain Freeze) 12/01/2023

Untitled (25th Hour Brain Freeze) Ryan sick from boat. Nick has brain freeze. Prison strategies. The Palin and Romney Kids. Cool friends. Timey dead. Is Art of the Deal, What's the Deal... Bad? Ryan debates Wii, again for the first time. NFL Predictions (from last year). The Disney Vault. Rolling Pins. And More! /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/28879893

High Valyrian Wedding Party 11/19/2023

High Valyrian Wedding Party Rytsas! We start with a behind the scenes discussion of how we script out each episode of the show. Then a truly epic Nicky's Advice Corner: is she in the wrong for not wanting attend her friend's wedding if it will be held in High Valyrian, the made up language from Game of Thrones? And then it truly goes off the rails when we try to ask Facebook's AI bot for the same advice. Finally, Brian closes us out with a Sports Short medly of takes that have all aged pretty well (LIV golf, Deshaun Watson.) /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/28707618

Awkward Dinners and Haunted Dolls 10/30/2023

Awkward Dinners and Haunted Dolls This one is all about the segments: In Nicky's Advice Corner, the advice seeker is creeped out by her friend's parents behavior, but did she cross the line when she called the dad a creep? And then just in time for Halloween, a spooky What's the Deal: this doll may be a haunted succubus, but is it still a steal at the price? /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/28457042

Lawless I Don't Have to Law 09/20/2023

Lawless I Don't Have to Law In "Unitlted Obituary Segment" Ryan remembers the life of Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins. We create a mascot for the city Texarkana. Then technical difficulties almost ruin the the debut of the long awaited "Cancellation Corner" Theme Song, but we recover and it's worth it! And we revisit the forgotten 90's Fox primetime action detective show "Lawless" starring ex-NFLer Brian "The Boz" Bosworth. Should it get a reboot? Let's decide together. Then an off the cuff Sports Short on the end of the 2022 Basketball Season! /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/28090295

Hunk Science 08/29/2023

Hunk Science A rather concise episode gives you all your RFTA goodness in a shorter amount of time. First, we debate who is hunkiest member of the 2010 SNL cast, then a Nicky's advice corner on how to deal with a spouse's pre-marriage encouters, followed by a new segment, "Game Zine Time Machine" where we revisit the golden era of video game magazines and ads, and finally close with Sports Shorts. Thank you for listening. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/27884094

Nickelback and Fire Works (f. Mike) 07/28/2023

Nickelback and Fire Works (f. Mike) We welcome longtime friend of the show and viral video star, Mike, who fills in while Ryan is on vacation. After covering some RFTA lore and the mutual history between the boys, we quickly get into topics (balls) and Brian presents America's new favorite segment, "HUNK!" where we choose between Marvel hunks. Nicky's Advice Corner examines workplace nicknames, and whether they are bad. And we close out with a Sports Short on the L.A. Lakers and their fading dynasty. As always, thanks for listening and if you like this leave us a review! We love reviews! Watch Mike get hit in the face with fireworks here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7-Q3irZsmw /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/27598206

Hot Pudding 06/23/2023

Hot Pudding Opening Discussion Topic: those childhood friends who would lie about their parents having cool jobs, only for real. Then Ryan presents a new segment, Ordinary Obituaries, and we learn about the life of a brave man who lived his clowning, balooning dreams. Nicky's Advice Corner: am I in the wrong if I don't want to play my boyfriend's secret game blindfolded? Cancellation Corner: We take a look at "Aliens in the Family," a mostly forgotten TGIF-era sitcom about a half-alien family and their full-alien baby, a show maybe most notable for making Urkel angry. Then we close on a Sports Short: Old QB's are new again. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/27242736

Guns, Girls, and Applebee's 06/16/2023

Guns, Girls, and Applebee's Right at the start, we get a little in the weeds with some behind-the-scenes ideas for improving the show. Then it's discussion of our most dangerous situations, of both the firearm and socially awkward varieties. In Nicky's Advice Corner, Nicky weighs the question "Am I a bad girlfriend if I don't want to kill my horse?" Our What's The Deal segment takes a look at a very exotic Las Vegas-based celebrity impersonator. Sports Short: ends of seasons. Thank you for listening. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/27167016

Long Island Haunted Arcade, Just Add Roller Coaster (The Family Friendly Episode) 06/02/2023

Long Island Haunted Arcade, Just Add Roller Coaster (The Family Friendly Episode) We try our hand at a Family Friendly Episode. Or at least "MCU-level" family friendliness. To predictably nonsensical results. Ryan presents Wacky Obscure Incomplete Headlines from Around the Globe. In "City Mascot Game" we create a mascot for Little Rock, Arkansas. Will it be an AR-enabled Kansas, or a bunch of Little Rocks (small versions of the wrestler)? Well listen and find out already! In a "What's the Deal" Special Investigation, we dig in to a spooky-dirty (but charming? maybe?) Long Island Arcade that's up for sale. It just needs an indoor roller coaster. Brian gives us a recap of the 2021 NFL Season, and a bonus sexy Florida Sports Short. /episode/index/show/reasonsfortheapocalypse/id/27022350

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