Rise Up Restored
Rise Up Restored is a podcast about rising up from sexual betrayal trauma and finding restoration through Christ. We share stories of hope, insight, and healing from real loved ones of sex addicts. We also share resources that have helped us and answer anonymous questions.
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Moments Introduction Episode: Why We Are Changing...
11/02/2026
Moments Introduction Episode: Why We Are Changing...
Introducing Rise Up Restored: Moments — the new season of the Rise Up Restored podcast. One question, five minutes, every Monday, all season long. This is the final episode of the old format — and the doorway to the new one. For six years, this podcast has been real stories from real women, men, daughters, and sons, honest conversations with experts, and a community that says out loud what betrayal trauma makes you feel like you have to hide. In this five-minute episode, I'm telling you personally what's changing — and why. So we're evolving — and the show has a new subtitle to match: Rise Up Restored: Moments. Because that's what these are — five-minute moments of clarity you can grab in the middle of a hard day. In this episode: The problem: betrayal trauma doesn't come with a spare hour — and you deserve answers sized for the crisis moment The new format: one question, five minutes, every Monday The questions come from YOU — send them to (first name or no name, whatever feels safe) The archive: every interview, story, meditation, and Q&A from the last six years lives on riseuprestored.com and YouTube — searchable and preserved What never changes: the mission, and the reminder that you are not broken — you are injured, and injuries heal This is now home to both: the complete Rise Up Restored archive (88 episodes of stories, meditations, and the music playlist) and the new Rise Up Restored: Moments — dropping every Monday. Subscribe and hit the bell 🔔 so you don't miss the season premiere next week: What Exactly Is Betrayal Trauma — and How Is It Different From Regular Hurt? I'm Becky Ruff, APSATS-certified partner specialist and betrayal trauma therapist serving Utah and Idaho. Keep rising. 💜 Have a question for the new season? Email it to — "Is it me?" "What is trickle truth?" "How do I tell my kids?" No question is too small, too embarrassing, or too dark.
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Ep. 88- R.E.S.T. Meditation
01/31/2026
Ep. 88- R.E.S.T. Meditation
Becky, host of the Rise Up Restored podcast, begins the new year discussing the importance of rest in the middle of everything going on in life. She reminds listeners to REST through: Release, Empty, Surrender, and Trust. Becky then shares the “R.E.S.T Meditation” with listeners. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to
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Ep. 87 Listener Music Episode 2
12/31/2025
Ep. 87 Listener Music Episode 2
In our second special Listener Music episode, listeners' songs focus on God’s Love and awareness for each of us, self-forgiveness, strength in survival, and more!!! Listeners share how these songs have helped them in their healing journeys. We hope you enjoy the music and gain strength from others' experiences! Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have anonymous questions you would like us to discuss? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 86- Listener Music, Part 1
11/29/2025
Ep. 86- Listener Music, Part 1
In this first special Listener Music episode, we share some of the songs that listeners said have helped them in their healing journeys and how these songs have helped them. We hope you enjoy the music and gain strength from others' experiences! Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have anonymous questions you would like us to discuss? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 85 Intro to Trauma-Sensitive 12-Step
10/31/2025
Ep. 85 Intro to Trauma-Sensitive 12-Step
***Special Announcement- The podcast begins with an announcement about a special upcoming episode where listeners are invited to share a song that has helped them through this healing journey and why it helped them. Listeners can email this information or submit a short voice recording of “the why the song helped” to be shared on the future podcast. Please email your song info to In this new episode, host Becky welcomes Jeni Brockbank to share a powerful resource, a trauma-sensitive 12-step organization through the TS 12 Anon organization. The conversation explores how facing difficult times can feel like a struggle to simply survive, yet also how these moments can lead to growth and new possibilities. With the focus on healing through trauma-sensitive support, this organization was created to support those in the betrayal trauma journey, those in abusive relationships, and in the general trauma space, with separate trauma-sensitive groups for each. The episode touches on overcoming self-doubt, letting go of blame, and finding the courage to speak truth even when it shakes. As the discussion unfolds, listeners are reminded that healing can be slow but deeply rewarding, and that grief and hope often exist side by side. The episode highlights the importance of connecting with supportive communities and utilizing available resources. As the episode closes, Jeni offers a hopeful reminder: "Eventually we do get that ability and privilege to soar. And it's really about that." Show notes: TS 12 Anon website: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 84- Courtney's Story
10/01/2025
Ep. 84- Courtney's Story
***Special Announcement- The podcast begins with an announcement about a special upcoming episode where listeners are invited to share a song that has helped them through this healing journey and why it helped them. Listeners can email this information or submit a short voice recording of “the why the song helped” to be shared on the future podcast. Please email your song info to *** In this powerful episode, Courtney shares her journey through betrayal trauma, childhood wounds, and the impact of her husband’s sex addiction. She opens up about the darkness she carried for years and the ways therapy, boundaries, and connection helped her find her voice again. Courtney talks about the transformative power of sand tray therapy, the importance of safe support groups, and learning that she is not defined by what happened to her, but by what she chooses to become. She describes how anger, grief, and shame were parts of her story, yet God patiently met her in each place with love. Today, she sees God’s tender mercies even in small, everyday moments and has shifted her perspective from despair to optimism. Her story reminds us that healing is not quick or easy, but it is possible. As she beautifully concludes, “I know that as I’ve grown my connection with God, He’s the only one who really, truly got me. He helped me heal, and I have peace now. I don’t have the dark and twisties anymore.” Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 83- Softness in Healing
09/01/2025
Ep. 83- Softness in Healing
Ep. 83- Softness in Healing ***Special Announcement- The podcast begins with an announcement about a special upcoming episode where listeners are invited to share a song that has helped them through this healing journey and why it helped them. Listeners can email this information or submit a short voice recording of “the why the song helped” to be shared on the future podcast. Please email your song info to *** As the podcast begins, Rise Up Restored host Becky sits down in-studio to talk about softness and vulnerability in the healing process. She shares that each helps in psychological healing, while an “unbreakable only” approach in healing can slow down and even hurt recovery. Becky shares what it means to be soft in the healing process and encourages a balanced approach that supports cultivating soft strength vs emotional fragility. She also emphasizes the importance of boundaries and sharing and receiving support from trusted individuals. Becky then shares the “You, The Unbreakable Water” poem by John Roedel Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 82- Q&A Grief
07/31/2025
Ep. 82- Q&A Grief
Ep. 82- Q&A Grief In this episode of the Rise Up History podcast, co-hosts Becky, Tiffany, and Autumn come together to answer listener questions about grief in the context of addiction and betrayal. They candidly share how grief has shown up in their lives during the darkest seasons—describing sacred moments of crying on bathroom floors, numbness, despair, and the isolation that often accompanies deep loss. The hosts reflect on how grief isn’t linear and emphasize that complex grief—the kind that resurfaces with repeated injury—is distinct from other kinds of loss. Listeners will hear how healing began through therapy, 12-step work, music, journaling, nature, and learning to recognize God's “love notes.” Hosts discuss the importance of recognizing when grief is present, reaching out for help, and using tools to move through it without shame. They end the podcast with the powerful reminder that healing grief often begins by acknowledging our pain, trusting safe connections, and believing that God provides people to walk with us, so we never have to walk alone. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 81- Rachel's Story
06/28/2025
Ep. 81- Rachel's Story
In this deeply honest episode, Becky and Autumn are joined by Rachel as shares her story of betrayal trauma, spiritual wrestling, and healing through boundaries, surrender, and divine grace. From discovering repeated deception in her marriage to reclaiming her identity and anchoring herself in Christ, Rachel’s journey reveals the power of letting go and rising strong. Don’t miss her original song at the end—a moving reflection on finding strength through God when all else falls apart. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 80 Ocean Shore and Loving Christ Meditation
06/04/2025
Ep. 80 Ocean Shore and Loving Christ Meditation
Ep. 80 Ocean Shore and Loving Christ Meditation Rise Up Restored host Becky talks about visualizations. She discusses vision boards and guided meditations and the benefits that can come from using these tools. She then shares the “Ocean Shore and Loving Christ Meditation” with the listeners. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Episode 79- Rachelle’s Story
04/30/2025
Episode 79- Rachelle’s Story
In this episode, co-hosts Becky and Tiffany welcome Rachelle, who shares her powerful journey of healing, faith, and self-discovery. Her childhood was deeply rooted in faith, which shaped her values and relationships—but her marriage soon brought emotional challenges and the pain of betrayal tied to her husband’s addiction. After reaching a breaking point, including thoughts of ending her life, Rachelle found hope and community through 12-step meetings and a healing retreat that marked a turning point in her spiritual and emotional recovery. She realized her peace didn’t depend on her husband’s choices, but on her own surrender, support systems, and trust in God's healing process. Today, Rachelle continues to grow in Christ, learning to let go of control, embrace authenticity, and rest in the sufficiency of God’s grace. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 78- Anchoring meditation
03/28/2025
Ep. 78- Anchoring meditation
Ep. 78- Anchoring meditation Rise Up Restored host Becky shares information about the practice of anchoring in life and in meditation. She covers the benefits of anchoring in this busy world and shares the “Anchoring Meditation” with listeners. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 77- Perspectives on Hope - Part 2
02/28/2025
Ep. 77- Perspectives on Hope - Part 2
In this Part 2 episode of our Perspectives on Hope, team members Richard, Becky, and Autumn share their experiences with Hope in their healing journeys. Each one shares how they have found hope in the journey, how they have cultivated hope, and they share some of their favorite quotes about hope. They even include some resources to support hope in the journey, including Becky reminding listeners of the Heart of a Woman retreat- , coming up on May 8-10, 2025 in Wanship, UT. We hope this episode is helpful in your healing journey. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 76- Perspectives on Hope - Part 1
01/31/2025
Ep. 76- Perspectives on Hope - Part 1
As we begin our 6th year of podcasting, reflecting back, the topic of Hope is something that has come up often throughout the years. Hope has played a big part in our individual healing journeys, so we have decided to devote 2 episodes to share our experiences, what we have learned, and discoveries about hope. This episode features team members Deb, Tiffany, and Erin answering questions like “What is hope?’, “How have you held onto hope?”, and we even share our favorite quotes about hope. We hope this episode is helpful in your healing journey. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep 75- Village of Women Meditation
12/23/2024
Ep 75- Village of Women Meditation
Rise Up Restored host Becky shares information on meditation and trauma, reminders that meditation types are not one-size-fits-all and should be used with others tools, and gives 3 Tips for Trauma Informed Meditation. She also shares the Village of Women meditation. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 74- Remarrying with Betrayal Trauma
11/27/2024
Ep. 74- Remarrying with Betrayal Trauma
Becky sits down with Ali and Tiffany, both mothers who remarried after experiencing betrayal trauma in their previous marriages. Ali, a mother of two, and Tiffany, a mother of five, share their journeys of navigating remarriage while blending families, with children ranging from ages 13 to 23. They discuss the challenges and joys of remarriage, emphasizing the importance of personal healing and knowing the time they needed before entering a new relationship. Both women reflect on how betrayal trauma has shaped their dating and marriage experiences, from recognizing emotional triggers to building trust with their new husbands. They also explore the complexities of blending families, the value of therapy and self-care, and the transformative power of healing in remarriage, offering light and hope. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 73- Loving Kindness Meditation
10/31/2024
Ep. 73- Loving Kindness Meditation
Episode 73- Loving Kindness Meditation Rise Up Restored host Becky reminds listeners about the benefits of self-compassion in healing from trauma that are discussed in episode 63 with Sheylley Dunford-Hardy. She talks about the benefits of loving kindness and shares the “Loving Kindness Meditation” with listeners. Show notes: Rise Up Restored Episode 63- Self-Compassion with Sheylley Dunford-Hardy, LMFT For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 72- Deb's Story
09/29/2024
Ep. 72- Deb's Story
In this heartfelt episode, Becky and Autumn sit down with Deb as she opens up about her deeply personal journey through marriage, faith, and the challenges of dealing with her husband's sexual addiction. Together, they explore themes of personal growth, spiritual awakening, and the complexities of trust in relationships. Deb shares her experience of denial, gaslighting, and ultimately, rediscovering her voice and faith as she navigates the emotional rollercoaster of a loved one's addiction. Her story is a testament to the power of faith, personal growth, and the journey to rediscovering truth in relationships. Deb reminds listeners that “There is always hope.” Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 71- Nurturing Your Heart Meditation
08/31/2024
Ep. 71- Nurturing Your Heart Meditation
Rise Up Restored host Becky talks about the benefits of body scan meditations and shares the Nurturing Your Heart Meditation with listeners. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 70- How the Betrayer Can Support the Betrayed
08/01/2024
Ep. 70- How the Betrayer Can Support the Betrayed
Becky sits down with Erin, one of the podcast copy editors, and each of their husband’s, Richard and Justin, to talk about what they have learned about how the Betrayer can best support the Betrayed. After multiple anonymous questions about this topic, we wanted to make sure we talked about it! They group discusses when they realized support was needed for the betrayed, what things they tried that helped, and even a few things that didn’t help. They also share some resources and additional thoughts from various friends who have been on this journey. Richard shares that “Sometimes we are purchasing a million dollar marriage a dollar at a time.” Justin reminds listeners that, “I can’t fix it, God Can. But there are ways I can support her in her efforts to work with God to find healing”. We hope you enjoy this very powerful and vulnerable episode. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 69- The Tree Meditation
07/01/2024
Ep. 69- The Tree Meditation
Rise Up Restored host Becky sits down and shares some thoughts about and benefits of meditation, 5 basic tips to get started meditating, and shares the Tree Meditation with listeners. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 68- Patty's Story
05/31/2024
Ep. 68- Patty's Story
Becky and Autumn sit down with Patty to share her story of healing from betrayal trauma caused by her ex-husband’s pornography addiction. For many years, Patty experienced disconnection from God and others, having overwhelming feelings of insecurity and isolation. When she began attending group meetings and found connections with other women, she finally found healing tools. Through boundaries, personal scripture study, and other women in recovery, she has experienced hope. As it eventually became clear that she needed to divorce, Patty shares the peace she found through trauma work and connection with God. “When the Lord’s backing us up, we’ve got all the power we need to do what’s right for us.” Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 67- Q&A What is Sex Therapy? with Jessica Holfeltz, LCMHC
04/30/2024
Ep. 67- Q&A What is Sex Therapy? with Jessica Holfeltz, LCMHC
***Just a reminder to listeners that the topic of sexual health is an important step in the recovery journey, and if you are not yet in the place in your recovery to work on that piece, that is perfectly normal and okay. Listeners are invited to skip this episode if needed and rejoin on the next one!*** Becky, Autumn and Tiffany are joined by Sex Therapist Jessica Holfeltz to discuss listener questions about sex therapy. Jessica shares what sex therapy is and what it is not. She reassures listeners that sex therapy involves talking and processing with the therapist, learning to communicate with their partners, and navigating the journey towards healthy sexuality. Jessica encourages listeners to get curious about all aspects of their sexuality. She shares the importance of listening to any pain in our bodies and instructs listeners that when pain in any form happens during sex, it is vital to stop and listen to our bodies. Sex therapy can help partners communicate and remove shame from the experience. She stresses the importance of honest communication and honoring the “no’s” so that our “yes’s” have more meaning. Jessica also teaches listeners that in order to have healthy sexuality, we must first have a healthy relationship with pleasure in general and learn how to navigate the voices of shame. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook.
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Ep. 66- Hejdi's Story
03/29/2024
Ep. 66- Hejdi's Story
Becky and Tiffany sit down with Hejdi to share her story of betrayal trauma and healing. Hejdi shares how even though her husband disclosed his porn use while they were dating, neither of them understood the “monster” it was. Early in their marriage, her husband’s porn addiction caused a “numb cloud” in her life, making it difficult to access the emotions needed to connect with others. During a particularly dark time, she found support in women’s groups and church leaders, managing to feel God’s great love for her. Learning about the surrender process and how to create and uphold healthy boundaries were also powerful sources of help. “I put God in my center,” Hejdi says. “I know He has me. Putting Him as my focus, I could trust Him. The second I tried to sneak my husband back in my center…I felt more stressed and crazy.” Though she still sometimes struggles with wanting to jump back in to try to control, Hejdi has found a lot of healing. She says, “(God) is my healing. He’s why I’m able to get up each day. He’s why I have hope when it seems so dark.” Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 65- Get to Know the Team- Part 2
02/27/2024
Ep. 65- Get to Know the Team- Part 2
Episode 65- Get to Know the Team- Part 2 In the Part 2 of Get to Know the Team, we invite listeners to get to know us a little better and get some updates on our journeys. In this episode, the three of our team members sharing with listeners are Autumn, Richard, and Tiff. We invite you to curl up and learn a little more about the technical side of the podcast, what everyone on the team does to help with the podcast, challenges and strengths that have developed over time, recovery practices that have stood the test of time, favorite books, snack, and quotes, and more! We hope you enjoy getting to know us a little bit better and look forward to a beautiful year 5 of the Rise Up Restored podcast. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 64- Get to Know the Team- Part 1
01/31/2024
Ep. 64- Get to Know the Team- Part 1
Episode 64- Get to Know the Team- Part 1 As we begin our 5th year of the podcast (yay!), we thought it would be fun for our listeners to get to know us a little better and give some updates on our journeys. This episode has three of our team members opening up to listeners: Becky, Deb and Erin. We invite you to curl up and learn a little more about how the podcast came to be, what everyone on the team does on the podcast, challenges and strengths that have developed over time, recovery practices that have stood the test of time, favorite books, snack, and quotes, and more! We hope you enjoy getting to know us a little bit better and look forward to hearing from the rest of the team in the next episode. Show notes: For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to [email protected]
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Ep. 63- Self-Compassion with Shelley Dunford-Hardy, LMFT
12/22/2023
Ep. 63- Self-Compassion with Shelley Dunford-Hardy, LMFT
The Rise Up Restored Podcast Christmas Gift this year is an episode on self-compassion! Tiffany and Becky are joined by licensed and experienced therapist Shelley Dunford-Hardy. Shelley’s Master’s degrees in Clinical Psychology and Spiritual Psychology have brought greater focus on self-compassion as an important tool in her work as a therapist. Shelley shares how research has shown that the most important relationship any of us can have is with ourselves, which is why self-compassion is so vital for all of life’s ups and downs. Shelley reminds listeners that pain is part of the human experience. Remembering this can transform our pain into a moment of connection with other people and ourselves. Becoming aware of our pain, and the mindfulness to just be with our pain and suffering long enough to respond with care and kindness helps us move into the healing. Self-compassion is learning to treat ourselves as a friend and ally and this is all about growth. Once we are grounded in self-compassion, then we can become open to compassionate self-forgiveness, which is teased for an UPCOMING episode on the podcast.
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Ep. 62- Keara's Story
11/27/2023
Ep. 62- Keara's Story
Becky and Tiffany sit down with Keara to share her story of betrayal trauma and healing. Keara shares how her husband disclosed his porn use seven years into their marriage. Every disclosure had her forgiving him instantly and spending all her energy trying to make their home environment tidy and calm. After one particularly painful disclosure, she found she didn’t have it in her to forgive. “I was angry with him,” she recalls, “and I was angry with God.” Over time, as she waded through the hurt and loneliness, she began to understand that “The atonement (of Jesus Christ) is not just for sins. It’s for those who have been hurt and sinned against. I saw Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father as loving people who would care for me and love me.” Through her husband’s work to recover, and her own work (including listening to a betrayal trauma podcast and journaling), Keara began seeing changes in her husband’s selfishness that gave her hope. Though there are still recurrences in her marriage at times, things are much more open and honest between them. Keara also now has a lot more patience with herself. When asked how she’s finding restoration, Keara shares that through understanding grace and the atonement of Jesus Christ, she is at peace with being herself. She now realizes the Lord looks on the heart.
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Ep. 61- Hosts' Check-In
10/31/2023
Ep. 61- Hosts' Check-In
After many requests from listeners, hosts Becky, Autumn, and Tiffany come together to check-in on how they are really doing in their personal healing journeys. They share what they have learned, how they have changed, and how they are still struggling. This episode is a beautiful reminder of the power of self-awareness, physical self-care, and being gentle with ourselves, with some important reminders including: “Be curious, not judgmental” and the reassurance that “It gets better”. Learning and growing from our struggles and pain can be part of this process and Rabbi Steve Leder reminds all of us: If you have to go through Hell, don’t come out empty handed.
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Ep. 60- Tara's Story - Daughter
08/16/2023
Ep. 60- Tara's Story - Daughter
Becky and Tiffany are joined by Tara, the daughter of a sex addict and a betrayed spouse. She is the Executive Director of S.A. Lifeline, which provides resources for addicts and those experiencing betrayal trauma. Tara shares that she was a long-time believer in God at her core, but that her black and white thinking led her to feel God’s love was conditional. Tara shares the difficulty that came from not knowing the full truth of her father’s addiction, and the pain and relief at learning the full truth of his behaviors, including his arrest and loss of church membership. Tara describes her healing that came alongside watching her father turn his heart toward God and becoming humble, honest, accountable, and connected to God and others. She testifies of the power Christ has to fundamentally change and transform something, and knows that because God was in the mess and darkness with her father, He will be there the long game with each of His children, including her. Show notes: S.A. Lifeline website- For more episodes and resources, please visit And join us online at Rise Up Restored on Instagram and Facebook. Have questions? Send them to
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